Wendy and I at the Hyatt on the Bund.

Other random thoughts,

Driving is a unique, somewhat life-threatening experience, crossing the street should be an Olympic event and the traffic makes NYC look like a quiet suburb.

People ballroom dance in the park in the morning (before it gets too hot).

I felt very tall and big–especially when I tried on clothing.

I want to learn to speak Mandarin.

Best part of the trip–I have new friends in China.

I could have never survived without the guidance of my friend and classmate Wendy Chen, whose native Mandarin saved me from confused cabdrivers. She explained the nuances of Chinese business culture (bring lots of business cards if you go) and advised on dining (watch out for the chicken claws in the soup.)  She went above and beyond the call of duty to help me in China and was a joy to work with on this global project.

She is back in Taiwan visiting her family now and I miss her very much.

This is me in the very beautiful Yu Garden in Shanghai.  It was really, really hot.

Photo credit:  Eileen Zampa’s tour guide in China.

I returned safely from China and all was well on the home front.  (Don’t think they missed me that much!)  China was amazing.  I was struck by many sights and experiences but two points come to mind that I think are relevant to momgoesback.

First, the majority of moms are working moms.  If they can work, they do.  The women I worked with were working professionals, upper middle-class.  The first day at a welcome business lunch hosted by my sponsor company,  there was a celebratory toast offered to a new mom at the table.  Needless to say, with China’s one-child policy, the birth of your child is a  momentous occasion and a once-in-a-lifetime experience.  It made me very self-conscious during conversations to say I had three children but also appreciative that I had the choice to have as many children as I wanted.  Walking around Shanghai you don’t see very many children and when you do, they are always with several adults, usually both sets of grandparents.

Second observation — the Confucian tradition of a strong, extended and hierarchical (paternal hierarchy of course) family has translated in modern times to built-in childcare.  Grandmothers care for the child of the family, freeing up time for both parents to work.  A classmate of mine is here in the U.S. while her one-year old son lives in China with her parents and his father is in Hong Kong.  This is a rare circumstance in the U.S. but growing common in China as more women come to the U.S. for higher education.

Slight panic has set in.  I have never been away from my children this long and never so far away.  What if one of them gets sick?  What if their father has to travel while I am away?  What if I really, really miss them or they really, really miss me?  What if Skype doesn’t work?  I am counting on being able to see their faces even if it is poor quality video. What if the babysitter doesn’t show up?  What if I forgot something to tell them or add to the detailed home calendar? 

What if they need me?

I know there are many working mothers (and many more fathers) who travel for business and are away from their families for extended periods.  If you are one of them, please send me your advice. 

FYI, I have not posted since early June because I have been prepping for this trip.  I am back and hope to have some interesting posts from China. 

Oh, and despite the pre-trip panic, I can’t believe I am going to China.

Photo Credit:  James Steidl

In her washingtonpost.com blog, On Balance, Leslie Morgan Steiner criticized the findings of a Brookings Institution study that concluded women are under-represented in politics because they are not as politically ambitious as men.  Specifically, the Brookings report states:

“Extensive research shows that when women run for office, they perform just as well as men…The fundamental reason for women’s underrepresentation is that they do not run for office. There is a substantial gender gap in political ambition; men tend to have it, and women don’t.”

The report concludes the gender ambition gap in American politics is attributable to the following:

Women are less likely than men to:

1. be willing to endure the rigors of a political campaign
2. be recruited to run for office
3. have the freedom to reconcile work and family obligations with political office
4. to think they are qualified to run
5. to perceive the political environment as fair

According to Ms. Steiner, some of the real reasons women do not run for office are,

“A lack of role models. Low self-confidence in the political arena. Abysmal financial support. Pitiful recruitment by entrenched political organizations. Reluctance to subject our families to public scrutiny.”

“So, [she continues] I argue that women are plenty ambitious — in politics, in our professional lives and at home. The “gap” is in people’s perceptions and definitions of female ambition. Ambition in a dress looks different. Get over it. The real obstacles to success won’t get addressed if we poo-poo women as lacking ambition and stop the discussion there.”

Interesting issue, after spending two days with several very ambitious women at Harvard, I would add that political office may not be the venue of choice for ambitious women who want to change the world.  Non-for-profit management, entrepreneurship, commitment to education were many of the preferred environments for women to give back to their community and effect change.  

Hewlett discusses the demands women have balancing work not only with caring for their children but also with eldercare responsibilities which Hewlett describes as “even more sex-biased” than childcare, with women responsible for 85% of eldercare but only 73% of childcare.

Stone shares her research on the challenges of finding stimulating, well-paid, flexible work and Bennetts discusses the financial setbacks and vulnerabilities women encounter when they leave the workforce i.e., 37% loss of earning power when women are out of the workforce for more than three years.

Photo Credit:  Michael Blackburn

Day two at Harvard’s Charting Your Course program focused on building networks and formulating next steps.  Pam Lassiter,  author of The New Job Security (a Wall Street Journal award winner), and career consultant, discussed strategies to establish networks, develop your elevator story, and position yourself as product to be packaged and sold to potential employers. (That means developing your own brand positioning statement!)

Pam recommended developing a system to keep track of all your contacts and classify them according to an “ABC” system.

A - people you Already know

B - people that may offer you a Bridge to someone you should know

C - real Contacts that are decision makers regarding potential employment

She also cautioned the group to only use real contacts when you were fully ready to present yourself in your best, most professional and career-focused state of mind.  Do not utilize those contacts to help you decide what you want to do, that is what the A’s, people you already know, trust, friends and family, are for.  On the subject of networking, she emphasized that this is a barter relationship with an exchange of help or information that demands reciprocity. 

Simply stated, offer unsolicited help when needed and others will be more willing to help you.  She introduced the concept of the “strength of weak ties,” providing some evidence that most jobs or valuable contacts often surface from your weaker connections, i.e., the friend of a friend or spouse of a friend, someone you just met at a conference.

Day one of the conference included a case discussion by retired HBS Professor Myra Hart about the founding of Zipcar.  Mrya emphasized the challenges faced by the founders, one with three young children, one expecting her second child, and investor perceptions (given their family commitments and lack of experience directly related to their business idea) as they raised venture capital. Myra challenged the class to decide, “Would you invest your money, or your client’s money, in these two mothers and their fledgling business?”

Interestingly, Myra’s own career path resonated well beyond the lessons from Zipcar.  Read Myra’s bio for the details but know she returned to school after having her children at age 37 to obtain her MBA at Harvard.  As she spoke, I couldn’t stop thinking to myself, how do I get there?  

Timothy Butler, Senior Fellow; HBS Director of Career Development Programs; and author of Getting Unstuck:  How Dead Ends Become New Paths, lead some career development visioning exercises. The participants split into small groups to discuss their career visions and receive feedback.

The conference also included an alumni panel discussion with, Carol Fishman Cohen, author of Back on The Career Track, Allison O’Kelly, founder of Mom Corps,  Natalie Barth, Director of Operations/Business Management at Perella Weinberg Partners and Jules Pieri, former President and COO of Ziggs.com, a social networking site for professionals.  Each discussed their career paths as mothers; the issues of re-entry; flexible work situations; and provided advice to the group.

Photo credit: Hans F. Meier

I am in Boston tonight preparing for a two-day conference at Harvard Business School called “Charting Your Course:  Discovering Working Options,” a conference devoted to the issue of career development for women (and men) re-entering or leaving the work force. 

While excited about the conference, I have mixed emotions about being here.  Traveling alone, (not in a family of five) and staying in a nice hotel, (The Charles Hotel in Cambridge–I feel very academic and New-Englandish) is great.  I met with an old friend for dinner and spent the evening talking about his life and career and my life and burgeoning career.

In the midst of this very grown up dinner in a wonderful restaurant, (The Rialto–great food, friendly chef and warm ambiance), I recieved a phone call from my nine-year-old son.  That is when the mixed emotions began.

He was upset.  He could not find the study sheet for the vocabulary words he is being tested on tomorrow.  His father was not home and he was home with my 15-year old who wanted to talk to me about a Linkin Park concert he wants to attend. Needless to say, my nine-year-old needed attention and I felt a pang of guilt for not being home with him to help.

Yes, I know this is not a great tragedy, but it is the small challenges women (and men) face when they work and travel for business. For me, it is a new challenge. A part of me feels like I am not fulfilling my responsiblities as a parent and is torn because I am excited to be here, but want to be home to help my son find and study his vocab words.

After my dinner, back in my room, I called him. He had solved his problem and was studying his words.  He was happy and proud that the situation was under his control and he asked me, “How are things going in Boston, Mom?” 

This is a good thing, a very good thing for him and for me.

Take a look at some interesting statistics from  Sylvia’s research:

• 75% of working women will take a career break
• 90% of those women want to return to work
• 60% of returning workers want to work full-time, 40% want part-time or flex-time work

Sylvia notes that given a predicted shortage of experienced, highly-skilled workers, many companies are trying to reverse the “brain drain, ” a term she coined in an earlier study.  Sylvia’s book discusses the initiatives many companies are implementing to help women successfully “on-ramp.”  Sylvia’s findings are also detailed in this Harvard Business Review article.

Sylvia is also the author of  Winning the Talent War,  a regular feature for Harvard Business School’s online publication.