Moming About

4 Tips for Surrogates: Reviewing Your Contract

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Contracts for surrogacy are crucial! However, when you initially receive your contract, it can be very overwhelming. Thankfully, you’ll have your own legal counsel—read about why that’s important here—so you should definitely go over every page of the contract verbatim with them before signing off.

1. Be wary of caps.

I was fortunate enough to not be bit in the ass after agreeing to caps during my first surrogacy journey. Agencies, lawyers, and/or intended parents might try and convince you that your only option is to agree to capped bed rest, wages, post-partum recovery, etc. You might be made to feel guilty for resisting caps or you might feel a sense of obligation to agree because of how costly surrogacy is for IPs.

However, caps can leave your vulnerable. Pregnancies are unpredictable. Surrogates who have done SETs and are only carrying one baby have ended up on weeks or months of bed rest. I was fortunate enough to have had a relatively uneventful pregnancy but some surrogates are not as fortunate.

Think very long and hard about whether you’re willing to accept a cap of any kind. Some alternatives I’ve seen surrogates present are:

A max weekly dollar amount, rather than an overall dollar cap or cap on the length of time you’ll be reimbursed.
A cap that equals out to 48 weeks of full reimbursement for lost wages and necessary child care/housekeeping (or whatever is applicable in your situation)
That intended parents can request a second opinion from a doctor independent of the current situation

Related Post: How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

2. Protect yourself and your family.

This might seem obvious, but don’t forget about yourself and your family. Make sure you have a good life insurance policy (IPs usually purchase an additional one for you) because death is a risk you’re facing as a surrogate.

For example, if your income is critical to your family’s well being then you can absolutely not afford to “skimp” on wage reimbursements (also see previous point about caps).

Make sure you have an independent lawyer (separate from and not affiliated with your IPs lawyer) reviewing your contract with you and representing your best interests. You should be using an Assistive Reproductive Technology lawyer. You can find a list of ART lawyers here.

3. Be 100% comfortable prior to signing.

Don’t sign your contract until you’re happy/comfortable/satisfied with what it says. Every single time you get an amended contract back to you, read it again verbatim. Don’t just look at the areas where you requested and negotiated changes. You want to make sure no new clauses/requirements/etc. snuck in there while you weren’t looking.

Walk away if it feels wrong or fishy. Yes, it sucks that you’ve come that far and now have to “start over” but don’t compromise yourself. It will feel yucky, and you’ll regret it later.

Related Post: Guide to Becoming a Surrogate

4. Everything is negotiable.

Finally, you should remember that pretty much everything in your contract is negotiable. Both surrogates and IPs have asked for things that to other surrogates and IPs might sound off the wall. However, contracts are unique to each situation.

If you don’t like the way something sounds/reads or flat out don’t agree with something then have it changed, taken out, or otherwise negotiated. Nothing is set in stone, and don’t let an agency or lawyer tell you otherwise. If you don’t like it, refer to point #3.

Bonus Tip! Pin this for future reference!

14 Must Try Margarita Recipes #NationalMargaritaDay

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

February 22nd is National Margarita Day, so if you wanted an excuse to try a delicious alcoholic beverage then I just gave you one. If it’s not a margarita, just put it in a margarita glass and fake it.
I, for one, seem to be the only mom on the planet that doesn’t drink wine. But I also basically never consume alcohol. Yep. No fun zone right here. However, I have daiquiris and margaritas on my must-try list for 2017. I really want to try one of these watermelon recipes, because who doesn’t love some delicious watermelon?

What is your favorite way to have margarita?

Virgin Frozen Watermelon Margarita from Coffee With Us

Watermelon Margaritas from I Was Born to Cook

Frozen Watermelon Margaritas from Cooking with Curls

Dewey’s Famous Frozen Margaritas from Merry About Town

Frozen Tropical Margaritas from Cooking with Curls

No Mix Margarita from Dinner with the Rollos

Sunburned Strawberry Margaritas from Ann’s Entitled Life

Hibiscus Margaritas from Letty’s Kitchen

Champagne Margaritas from The Kitchen is My Playground

Classic Margarita from Cooking with Curls

Margarita Jello Shots from Ann’s Entitled Life

Blood Orange Margaritas from Sidewalk Shoes

Strawberry Margarita from Grey is the New Black

Mango Orange Margarita from Ann’s Entitled Life

The Importance of Proper Legal Counsel for Surrogates

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Surrogacy is an expensive undertaking for intended parents (IPs), regardless of the method they choose—traditional surrogate or gestational surrogate; egg donor or using own eggs; working with an agency or going independent—so some IPs may think it makes sense to only pay one lawyer in order to cut costs. However, surrogates and IPs need to have separate legal representation.

Surrogates who are tempted to forgo their own independent legal counsel should remind themselves of the huge task that they are undertaking, which comes with its own set of risks. They should also prioritize protecting themselves and their families, should these risks become a reality during the surrogacy process.

Related Post: How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

Both parties using the same lawyer is a huge conflict of interest. That lawyer cannot look out for the best interests of the IPs and the surrogate. Believe it or not the two are not always equal. Should there be a disagreement, then each party needs to have someone representing them—the same can be said when each party sees a different meaning in a certain clause or part of the contract.

While this move might present to opportunity for the IPs to save thousands of dollars; it presents the opportunity for the surrogate to be taken advantage of—intentionally or unintentionally. Also, in some areas the contract might not be considered valid unless each party has had their own legal representation prior to agreement.

Obtaining your own legal counsel—which IPs should still be paying for—means that you have someone offering you advice and looking out for your best interests. Your lawyer can point out clauses that need to be modified or removed altogether, or she can suggest things you should ask to be added to your contract with the IPs.

Related Post: A Surrogate Birth Story

Lawyers are always going to have the best interest of the primary client in mind, so using the same lawyer means you come second to your IPs, regardless of any claims the lawyer or IPs make about equality.

This is not mutually exclusive to surrogacy. A single lawyer cannot properly represent two different parties in the same case. You need your own lawyer.

Finally, both your lawyer and your IPs lawyer should be an Assistive Reproductive Technology lawyer, preferably experienced with surrogacy. You can find a list of ART lawyers here.
Do not settle. Protect yourself. Protect your IPs. Protect the integrity of surrogacy.

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7 DIY Kids’ Valentines Mailboxes

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

So, if you’re feeling like an over achiever and want to do something fun with your kids over the weekend… Why not help them make the coolest Valentine’s Day mailbox ever? However, if you just send them to school with a shoebox, tissue box, cereal box, or paper bag then that’s okay, too. I’m not going to tell, and we can just pretend you never even saw this post.

Follow my Valentine's Pinterest Board!

Because that’s the kind of mom I am. I would totally be committed to doing one of these cool mailboxes and then BAM! It’d be Valentine’s Day and we’d be lucky if we even had Valentines ready to hand out at school.

However, if you miss the Valentine’s Day train then you can still make a cool mailbox for your home where you kiddo can receive their very own mail. Studies show that exchanging letters with family members strengthens literacy skills and family ties!

DIY Kids’ Mailboxes

Robot Mailbox via Making of a Mom
Milk Container Penguin Mailbox via Dollar Store Crafts

Hot Air Balloon Mailbox via Making of a Mom
Glitter Coffee Can Mailbox via The Idea Box
Kitty Cat Mailbox via Pretty Plain Janes
Unicorn Mailbox via Artsy Fartsy Mama

Princess Castle Mailbox via Making of a Mom

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Easy Last Minute Kids’ Valentines

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Raise your hand if you’re a procrastinator? Oh. You, too?! They start putting Valentine’s Day decorations, candy, and cards out before they’ve even had time to clear out the Christmas decorations from the shelves.

However, I’m that person who didn’t take her Christmas tree down until the middle (or endish) of January and not because I was still feeling the holiday spirit still, either.

Related Post: Printable Baby Books Pages

I’m usually running around like a mad woman before any holiday where it might be somewhat expected for my kids to participate at school through food, gifts, etc. I always feel like Valentine’s Day just creeps up on me, though one year I tried to super mom it and did an okay job making homemade fortune cookies.

So, if Valentine’s Day has snuck up on you, then here’s some easy kids’ Valentines you and your little one can whip up together without losing your mind.

Easy, Last Minute Valentines for Kids

Valentines Scratch Offs via Dollar Store Crafts

Crazy Straw Printable via Momma Lew
Minecraft Valentines via Atta Girl Says
Monkey Valentines via Beauty Through Imperfection
Ninja Valentines via Merry About Town

Owl Valentine’s Cards via A Spectacled Owl
Cute Animal Valentine’s Day Cards via Food Fun Family
Monster Jokes Valentines via Two Kids & a Coupon
Fortune Teller (Cootie Catcher) Valentines via Atta Girl Says

Out of this World Valentines via The Joys of Boys
Monster Valentines via Food Fun Family

Three Printable Valentine’s Cards via A Spectacled Owl
Valentine’s Day Puzzle Cards via Food Fun Family

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How to Paint Crisp Designs on Textured Walls

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Today I'm sharing with you how to get crisp lines for designs/stencils on textured walls. All of the walls in my house are textured. The ones in these images are like a popcorn ceiling…except it’s my wall. None of my walls are just a little textured. They're all obnoxiously textured, of course, which is a real pain to paint.

Related Post: 4 Things You Need to Know Before Painting

So for everyone out there with a home that had previous owners who embraced the textured phase… Well, this one is for you. Painting these walls can be a real pain in the butt. Glad to be here to help!

Step 1. Tape

I advise getting good quality tape, first. Then tape off your design, your lines, or whatever it is you're taping.

Step 2. Caulk

To prevent running paint and leaks, etc., purchase a paintable silicone caulk and smooth a small amount over all paint edges.

Step 3. Paint Roller

Use a paint roller, not a paintbrush, to paint over your tape.

Related Post: Organize Your Shower with a Shoe Organizer

Step 4. Remove

Remove for crisp, beautiful lines/designs! See images below for examples of the difference these steps can make.

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Thanks to Creative Ramblings for inspiring me to try this!

How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Both my biological children were born vaginally. I had anticipated that would probably be the case when I carried a baby for another couple, too, but I was wrong. Baby A was breech and we elected for a planned cesarean, even though there are instances where breech babies can and are born safely without a c-section.
However, even though I felt it was the best and correct choice, I was so nervous! The unknown is a scary place. I took to Google searches and my favorite mom and surrogate support groups for help. I was mostly overthinking the whole ordeal, I think, but I did learn a few things about preparing for a c-section that I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Take a Stool Softener

The most common advice that I received was to take a stool softener and to take it sooner rather than later. Now, by “sooner” we’re talking a day or two before your scheduled c-section. You should also receive something in the hospital post-op—I was given Miralax—but, if not, then go ahead and request something.
Now, I want to emphasize a stool softener not a laxative.
The stool softener is to help assist in an easy post partum poop, which can be unpleasant regardless of your delivery type. However, the meds used during a c-section and the recovery overall can leave you more prone to constipation. Being proactive helps a ton!

Related Post: Your Comments About My Pregnancy Are Not Wanted

Get Some Fiber Rich Snacks

I opted to load up on fiber rich snacks and even bought some fiber gummy vitamins to take. Fiber is great for pooping and having yummy snacks is great for your soul when you’re at the hospital with a less-than-stellar food selection. See previous point (above) about pooping. Look for snacks with 4 grams or more of fiber.

Shave or Be Shaved

You’ll want to shave your lower abdomen area, above your vulva, unless you don’t mind the medical staff doing it for you pre-op. I know you probably can’t see that area at this point in your pregnancy, so feel free to enlist a friend to help. Or just do it blind. That’s what I did. This is where your incision will be, so it needs to be hair free.

Related Post: 6 Ways Baby Benefits from Babywearing

Have a Belly Binder Available

Ask your midwife or OB and wherever you’ll be delivering if a belly binder (also called an abdominal binder) will be available to you. I called my OB's office and they told me that belly binders weren’t provided by the hospital where I’d be delivering, but they actually were provided. Most hospitals do provide them, but you can also buy your own, if you prefer. Trust me. You want one.

Pack Comfy & Appropriate Clothing

Really think about the clothes you’re packing. Your incision is going to be very low on your abdomen, just above your vulva. I ended up buying some silk, high rise underwear and didn’t pack any bottoms that would sit right on my incision site. Some mid to high waist leggings are perfect.

After my c-section is when I fell in love with wearing a robe, which I still do all the time. Get a robe. They’re amazing, wearable blankets.

Was this post helpful to you? If so, you might also benefit from my C-Section Hospital Bag Checklist for Moms.

Click here to receive the free, printable hospital bag checklist for c-section moms.

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4 Things You Need to Know Before Painting

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Wed, 18 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

I was so excited to finally get the ball rolling on making our house truly ours. We'd lived in our home for about 18 months and the people who lived in the house before us picked some treacherous (and very dark) paint colors. The living room was the first room we ever painted in our home and I definitely learned a lot of lessons from that experience, which I’m sharing with you!

Remove the Trim

Any seasoned painter (or anyone who listens when their husband says we need to take off the trim) knows that you need to remove all the trim in the room before painting. Even if that trim is going to be painted the same color as either the base/primer color or the other color.

It's easier to paint it separately. Trust me! It can't be any more difficult than the way we did it. Plus, the wall under the trim will get painted properly this way, too.

So, if in the future, you want to update your trim (which I do) you won't have to worry about the possibility have needing to paint again. I'm still not sure why my husband listened to me when I told him we didn't need to take off the trim. I secretly think he was waiting to soak up that "I told you so" moment.

Use the Wider Painter's Tape

We used the Duck Brand 1" Clean Release Painter's Tape. I actually bought a three pack from Wal Mart. The tape worked great! However, I should have known better than to think that the smaller tape would be enough to wholly protect everything.

Based on my experiences, you’re better off buying the wider tape! I'll definitely be using the 1" tape in the boys room for some detailing work I'll need to do. As far as protecting the ceiling and any trim/molding I can't remove, I'll be using the wider tape. I also plan on taping down a plastic sheet on the floor with the wide tape, which brings me to my next tip.

Protect the Floor and Do It Well

We had a tarp in our garage that was left by the previous inhabitants of this house. I was sure it'd be a great way to protect our wood floors during painting. However, I didn't tape it down or anything and it was really no help at all since it didn't cover the whole floor.

If there was only one person painting, that would be okay. However, typically there was my husband and me or my husband and a helper. So, paint drips happened. Oh, and my cat decided to jump onto a freshly painted window sill and then prance across the living room floor. Probably some new age way of marking his territory, I guess.

Anyway, next time I want to buy plastic sheeting or a drop cloth and secure it to the floor. However, eHow has some other suggestions, so I might look into those too.

Buy Extra Paint

Unless you've painted a particular room a time or two before, chances are that you're guesstimating how much paint it will take. Well, this guesstimating left me having to do two extra trips to buy paint for our living room.

My advice is to think about how much paint you'll need and buy at least one extra can. You don't want to get down to the last wall you need to paint and be fully motivated to do so, only to realize you're out of paint.

Some stores will let you return or exchange unopened paint, so you can check on that if you're worried. Personally, I don't think it's a terrible idea to have extra paint lying around.

Before & After

The lighting is horrible in the before picture, but you should be able to see what an ugly pea-green the room was! I know it looks very minimalistic right now, but I was trying to avoid shoving crap back into the room that I don't want in there long term.

Of course, much of that crap has now accumulated in the extra space in the dining room. Anyway, I'm super happy with how it turned out. It's so much brighter. I can't wait to get new curtains (~~and furniture and other stuff, but I'm getting ahead of myself there~~). So, it's not designer living, but it’s definitely an improvement!

That collage is from The Coffee Shop Blog!

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7 Days to a Deep Cleaned House with Printable Checklist

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 16 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Just before I delivered surro baby, I was agonizing over my dirty house. After all, I was about to have my first c-section ever and was probably not going to be able to do anything at all for a while after, right? Well, that turned out to be a little bit of an extreme assumption on my part, but nonetheless, it’s what I believed.

<< Just want to skip to the printable? Click here! >>

So, as a push present to myself I created a deep clean list check list and paid someone—AKA my mom—to come clean my house while I was at the hospital delivering. I’d never done this before but I remembered from delivering my own kids dreading going home to a potentially dismantled house from the days I’d spent at the hospital.

I kept this checklist for myself and am currently working through it to deep clean the house after several weeks of my kids and husband being home for Christmas break/shutdown. The chaotic holiday break left the house dismantled and I’m always more relaxed and happy when the house is organized and clean.

To get your house deep cleaned in 7 days or less, work through at least one section of the checklist a day.

I like to start by going through the house and doing general pick up of clothes, trash, toys, dishes and clutter. I sometimes take the time to sweep the entire downstairs—we have all wood flooring—at this point, too.

After that, I go room by room and complete the check list. If you have other stuff to add, I’ve included some blank lines at the end.

If you’re exceptionally motivated, with plenty of “spare” time, and the kids will be gone basically all day…you might be able to complete this awesome checklist in one day! If you’re super lucky, you can’t just hire someone to clean your house for you and have them use this list for reference.

You might also notice that there’s a reference to laundry in every section. If you’re anything like me, you’ll appreciate the reminder to change over the laundry or the do laundry in every room. Otherwise, I might just forget about the laundry while I’m cleaning the house and don’t remember until bed time that I didn’t even get one load washed, dried, and put away.

Happy house cleaning! What tools do you use to help stay organized and get your home clean?

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5 Things You Need to Know Before Becoming a Surrogate

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 09 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Becoming a surrogate is a huge responsibility, whether you’re a traditional or gestational surrogate. It might be easy enough to assume you’re “informed” after researching surrogacy and understanding the basic process.

However, there’s actually an overwhelming amount of things that could potentially be overlooked altogether or disregarded as not important if potential surrogates aren’t looking in the right places. I’ve put together five things potential surrogates should know before committing to a journey.

1. Surrogacy can be a long process.

Sometimes surrogates are surprised at the length of time from finding the perfect intended parents to the birth of a baby. Patience is important and you, honestly, don’t want anything in this process to be rushed.

Every part of the surrogacy process is a process in itself and might take weeks or months or longer. Some surrogates have reported their journey taking 2 years or more from start to finish. Statistically speaking, the first transfer isn’t likely to take. It can, of course, but be prepared that it might take more than one shot to get pregnant. Be ready for the reality that this might not be quick.

2. Surrogacy might have an upfront financial cost.

Surrogacy related expenses should all be reimbursed to you, of course, but the key word here is “reimbursed.” Some expenses cannot or are not paid ahead of time or up front by intended parents or surrogacy agencies. Rental cars, for example, have to be put on your credit card and then reimbursed later.

Sometimes it’s because of policies companies have—such as the case with rental cars—or because costs are often variable and intended parents should only have to reimburse you exactly what you needed. This might not be the case with every journey, but it’s better to be prepared to cover these costs with your own cash or credit and then be reimbursed.

If you’re not in a financial place to do that, then you might not be financially secure enough to be a surrogate, anyway. If you’re hesitant to cover costs up front and be reimbursed, you could avoid some of those issues by matching with local intended parents.

3. Surrogacy has real health risks.

Whether you realized it or not, even your pregnancies for your keeper babies had risks. Pregnancy causes major body changes, and potential surrogates shouldn’t take this lightly, even if they’ve had easy, relatively uncomplicated pregnancies in the past.

Prior pregnancy ease or success does not guarantee a smooth surrogate pregnancy!

Prospective surrogates should consider that there are risks up to and including death. Thinking “it won’t happen to me” is a great way to be unprepared if it does, indeed, happen to you. This is why you should have appropriate plans in place for possible bed rest, hospitalization, and even death.

4. This is not a way to get rich quick.

This shouldn’t have to be stated, but I’m going to put it out there anyway. It’s not a get rich quick—or at all—deal. If that’s what you’re after then, please, leave now. This is a long, often difficult, process for intended parents and surrogates. It’s an emotional and physical investment and there’s even a chance that your journey will end without you ever giving the intended parents the baby they wanted.

It could be months or longer before you ever receive any compensation. You may need to pay for some expenses up front before being reimbursed. Basically, you need to be financially stable.

5. You may not end up being friends with the intended parents after birth.

Many surrogates and intended parents go into the journey planning to be friends and keep in touch afterward. However, relationships between surrogates and intended parents can change for a variety of reasons. Be prepared for that because unfortunately not everyone finishes their journey feeling like best buds.

For whatever reason, your relationship may not be ideal and you might not see the baby after birth or after the parents and baby leave the hospital. Even under good circumstances, you may lose touch or simply not be all that close with the baby and intended parents.

It’s irresponsible to be a surrogate without being informed. Your team of people can only be expected to do so much. It’s important to take responsibility and research surrogacy thoroughly before entering into any kind of legal agreement.

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Ten Toddler Approved Chores

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 16 Dec 2016 10:00:00 +0000

As moms we’re good at taking full responsibility for everything—ourselves, our children, our spouse, our home…everything. I know I find myself feeling overwhelmed at times because I have 5 million things that I think I need to do.

When I get to this point, I often realize that I’m the one putting all of that on me. I’m not asking for help when I need it. I’m not giving myself any grace. I’m not expecting my family to do things for themselves.

And I’m suffering because of it.

I won’t lie and say that I never feel overwhelmed anymore or that I don’t still mom guilt myself and when I try—and fail—to do everything. However, I’m making a conscious effort to not hold myself responsible for everybody’s everything. I’m working on remembering that my family has responsibilities, too, and needs to be held accountable. It’s helped tremendously.

Related Post: 4 Tips to Get Your Child to Enjoy Reading

I know we moms want to do everything for our children, and sometimes we even feel guilty for expecting them to do things. Or remember that sadness—and pride—you felt and still feel with every shred of independence they acquire?

Well, eventually our precious little angels will need to be self sufficient adults. I, for one, do not want to do my 25 year-old’s laundry or grocery shopping.

Children can start doing chores and helping out right around the time they start walking. Starting them young makes it the norm, instead of surprise! you’re thirteen and now I expect you to do all these things I never taught you to do.

When our kids are younger, they even enjoy chores. Part of this is because they get to be involved with something you’re doing. So, no, you probably won’t be able to expect your toddler or preschooler to handle most chores on their own. And, no, it might be as fast as if you just do it yourself. However, those days will come.

Lay the foundation. Include even our youngest kids. Let them know they’re needed and an important part of the family unit, too. Everyone can contribute and feel proud! Show your appreciation, thanks, and pride. Your toddlers will appreciate it.

1. Dishes

Toddlers can help with dishes, but be warned that they really enjoy playing in the water, if you’re a dishwasher-less house, like mine.

Load/unload dishwasher
Put away dishes
Help with rinsing dishes
Sorting dishes

2. Laundry

My two year-old loves helping with laundry almost as much as much as she likes playing in the dryer. Thanks to his early involvement in laundry, my 10 year-old can do the whole laundry routine without me and has been able to for a few years now.

Help empty dryer
Help load washer
Help transfer clothes from washer to dryer
Close lids/doors of appliances
Pour laundry detergent in
Push buttons to start laundry

3. Feeding Pets

Feeding our pets is pretty much the full responsibilty of the kids at my house, with some prompts from mom and dad, occasionally.

Pinch of food for fish
Scoop dog/cat food into bowl
Feed treats to dog

4. Training Pets

If you don’t mind your dog responding to commands from your children, they love being involved in dog training and reinforcement.

Helps give commands
Helps give rewards/treats when dog follows commands

Related Post: Open Ended Questions for Your Gradeschooler

5. Clean Their Room

This is one of the earliest tasks kids can easily be involved in, and I think it’s really important for them to take care of their own things/space.

Pick up their toys
Put their laundry in hamper
Throw away dirty disposable diapers

6. Wipe Up Spills

I fully encourage and insist that my kids, including my 2 year-old, clean up after themselves.

Wipe up spilled liquids
Pick up dropped food

Related Post: Kid Approved Jokes

7. Set and/or Clear the Table

If you’re a family who sets the table, you can get your kids involved in that and after dinner clean up, too.

Help set table
Clear dirty dishes from table
Put own dishes in sink/dishwasher
Throw away disposable plates/cups
Dispose of uneaten food

8. Hand Vacuum

I know some kids are afraid of vacuums but mine love to vacuum and a hand/mini vacuum is the perfect size for children!

Vacuum furniture
Vacuum crumbs off the floor
Vacuum staircase

9. Water Plants

Maybe your kids will have a green thumb.

10. Help Bring In/Put Away Groceries

Depending on their size, age, and maturity, your toddler can help with various grocery tasks.

Put away groceries
Help carry in lighter groceries

What chores does your toddler or older child do? What age do you start including your kids in household responsibilities?

3 Cool Products You’ve Never Heard of for Lactating Moms

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 12 Dec 2016 10:00:00 +0000

We’ve all had that experience where we come across some really cool product but only after it’s useful to us. That happens to me all the time with kid and baby products, such as when I discovered the Kiinde breast milk storage system! Lucky me, I keep getting new nieces and nephews so I can buy those things as gifts for them, instead.

Whether you’re breastfeeding or exclusively pumping, there are some really awesome products out there! Unfortunately, many of them aren’t widely advertised or sold. I know I’m on my third lactating experience and I’m still finding new products to make it easier/better.

Related Post: Where to Donate or Sell Breast Milk

So, fear not, you don’t have to wish someone told you about that cool, unique product. I’m going to do just that right now!

1. Freemies—Pump on the Go

Freemies are a unique breast milk collection system. They are hands free and concealable. The cups go in your bra and the system is set up to work with a variety of breast pumps and can be hacked to work with others. Some women have reported trouble maintaining supply with the Freemies or taking longer to empty, while others just can’t stop raving about how they’re the best product they ever found!

2. Haakaa—An Improved Hand Pump Design

The Haakaa is a manual breast pump, by definition, but really it’s something different. You squeeze the body of the Haakaa to form suction on your breast. You can choose to ‘pump’ it if you want, but I think the Haakaa is ingenious for other reasons.

Because of the suction many women have had success with using the Haakaa to suction to their breast and catch milk from one breast while nursing from the other. Also, pumpers have utilized the Haakaa lying down and in bed. Don’t try the knock offs. They don’t compare to this awesome device and aren’t worth the minimal money saved.

3. Milkies Milk-Saver—Wearable Breast Milk Catchers

The Milkies Milk-Saver is a unique way to avoid wasting or losing breast milk, because we all know every drop counts. You wear the Milk-Saver and it collects any milk you have from leakage. It can be used on one breast while you’re nursing on the other or you might even buy two of these bad boys to wear when you might be going a little extra time between pumping. Although they claim to be discreet, the general consensus is that they’re a little bulky for continuous wear.

Have you tried any of these products? Do you know of some other super cool, not mainstream product you wish everyone knew about? Tell me in the comments below!

6 Things You Can Do Right Now to Save Money

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 09 Dec 2016 10:00:00 +0000

The need to save money is pretty universal. Most people, myself included, are always looking for ways to minimize spending, so we can save more. Drastic changes tend to be harder to commit to and more likely to inspire us to do something crazy in rebellion. For me, it’s easier to just commit to a few small changes and work my way up. Here’s six, simple, money saving tips you can implement right now.

1. Turn off the water when brushing your teeth.

Turning off the water when brushing your teeth is a great way to conserve water. However, it also can save you money! For a family of four brushing twice a day, turning off the faucet could save them around $50 a year! Here's a handy chart to help you figure out your possible savings.

Related Post: Homemade Flea Repellant

2. Use less toothpaste or none at all.

Did you know, it might not even be necessary for you to use toothpaste? And if you are using it, you only need a pea-size amount on your toothbrush. While this might not save your hundreds of dollars, every penny counts, and I'm sure you'll save a few pennies if you stop being wasteful with toothpaste and cut back to the recommended amounts.

3. Wash clothes with cold water.

Instead of paying the money to heat water to wash your clothes, save that money and wash your clothes with cold water. Washing in cold water is also great for delicates and stains—such as blood or sweat, which will set if washed in hot water.

4. Use a programmable thermostat and use it right!

Inefficient heating and cooling can make a huge difference on your utility bills. Using a programmable thermostat to lessen the cooling or heating effect while people in the household are sleeping and/or at work or school is a great way to lower your utility bill.

5. Skip or cancel your cable or satellite.

The average cable bill is somewhere around $90 and a similar average for satellite subscribers. On top of that, bills are only expected to keep rising. I read this great article on cutting the cord the other day, that basically thanks all of the people willing to put up with cable/satellite company B.S. for making their cable-less life even better.

With Netflix ($7.99) a month you can stream tons of television shows and movies.

If you're dying to watch the newest episodes of your favorite TV series, many are available for purchase (as individual episodes or as a season pass) on Xbox live for very reasonable prices. Going this route, you own them and can watch them anytime, again and again.

Many other options exist, such as Hulu, ChromeCast, Fire TV, YouTube, Google Play Movies, Roku, Vimeo, and Apple TV. Do a little research, and I'm sure you'll realize you could be saving tons of money!

6. Switch to a Prepaid Cell Phone

If you're still with AT&T, Sprint, or some other carrier, you're being robbed. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. If you're looking for somewhere to save money, why not kick your phone company to the curb? The downside to prepaid service is you must pay for your phone (full-priced) outright.

However, you'll probably save $50 (compared to an individual plan) or more a month by switching. You might even be able to take your phone with you in some cases. In other cases, why not settle for the non-iPhone (or whatever the latest craze is) and get an affordable smart phone while you save for the full cost of the one you really want?

What is something you do to save money? Do you practice any of these money saving tips?

How I Pump 50+ Ounces of Breast Milk Daily

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 11:00:00 +0000

I’m currently working on qualification to become a compensated donor to a milk bank, following my surrogate pregnancy. It’s a tedious (and very necessary) process of bloodwork, paperwork, etc., not unlike the process of becoming a surrogate—though it’s not quite that long.

When the parents and surrobabe were still stateside, I was pumping milk for the baby. However, they’ve since returned home and I’m currently just filling my freezer with breast milk and waiting for approval from the milk bank.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some tips with you for pumping gobs of breast milk successfully! Whether you’re an exclusive pumper, exclusively breastfeeding working mom, or just a mom trying to build up her milk supply…these tips can help you pump more milk!

1. Get a good breast pump!

With the majority of insurances being required to cover breast pumps thanks to the ACA, many moms are able to get their hands on a good breast pump for little to no cost to them. However, insurance coverage varies widely from provider to provider and plan to plan. And much like insurance, not all breast pumps are created equal.

Having a good breast pump is crucial to success in expressing the maximum amount of breast milk. Hospital grade breast pumps are often available for rent from your local hospital or Babies R Us, such as the Medela Symphony. However, this cost can get expensive and is relatively impractical because of their bulk and lack of portability.

A better option is the Medela Pump In Style Advance or, my personal favorite, the Spectra S1. These are both options that work really well and can be used portably, though the Medela will require a battery pack and/or car adaptor to be used without a plug. A good breast pump is one that your body responds well to and makes all the difference in your pumping journey!

2. Make sure your flanges fit.

Many women make the mistake of using whatever flanges come with their pump without ever considering that they have other options. An incorrectly sized flange can have a detrimental effect on your supply because you likely won’t be efficiently emptying your breasts.

These diagrams from Medela are a good starting point for reference, though you might want to visit a lactation consultant or your local La Leche League if you’re having trouble. The average or standard size breast pump flange only fits about 45% of women. For Medela shields, that’s a 24mm shield. I, personally, have to use at least a 27mm shield. Bra size has nothing to do with breast shield size!

If you’re using a Medela pump, Wal Mart and many other local retailers carry some of the other size shields. However, you might have to order online for some other pumps or certain sizes. Sometimes hospitals carry extra sizes, so if you’re in dire need, call your lactation consultant/local hospital.

Related Post: Nursing Pad Options Compared

3. Eat and drink plenty.

In general, nursing moms need around 500 extra calories per day than non nursing women. Many women see a dramatic drop in milk supply in the event that they start a dramatic calorie reduced diet post partum. Focus on eating healthy calories and staying hydrated in order to remain healthy and produce lots of milk.

4. Pump often.

If you’re exclusively pumping, then pumping 6 or more times a day is essential—especially in the early weeks and months. Consistently pumping every 2 to 3 hours is ideal and at least once in the middle of the night. If I manage to squeeze in 8 or 9 pumps in a day, I usually end the day closer to 60 ounces than 50.

If you’re breastfeeding and pumping, you can try and pump after every feeding or pump one breast while baby is on the other and alternate. Another option is to add a pump in after the last feeding before bedtime and/or after the first morning feed and consistently pump at those times every day.

Related Post: Breast Milk Storage Guidelines

5. Power Pumping

If you’re just not happy with where your supply is at or maybe you’ve been a bad pumper, then power pumping is the most effective way to build your supply. Power pumping consists of an hour long pumping session: 20 minutes pumping, 10 minute break, 10 minutes pumping, 10 minute break, 10 minutes pumping. You can do this twice a day for as many days as you like and should yield an increase in supply within a day or two.

What tricks do you use to maximize your milk production? Have you tried any of these tips with success? Which is your favorite?

The Right Way to Freeze Breast Milk

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Fri, 02 Dec 2016 10:00:00 +0000

When I was an exclusive pumper with my first born, I was totally clueless that there was a right and wrong way to freeze breast milk. My bags were thrown into my freezer in lumps and frozen in all sorts of weird shapes and sizes.

This was so inefficient, but I was so oblivious to it, even though it seems obvious now. I guess when you’re a new mom, though, it’s easy to overlook the simple things. We’re so overwhelmed with new, new, new that I totally get why I spent almost a whole year freezing breast milk in ugly lumps.
Also, nobody ever told me any different.

Well, here I am to tell you that there is a right way to freeze breast milk. It will save your freezer space and maybe even a little bit of your sanity—y’know if you’re a little bit of a perfectionist like me.

Freeze Breast Milk Flat

This is the right way to freeze breast milk, in my (and many others’) opinion. If you’re pumping for a milk bank for donation then this is definitely the most efficient way to freeze, seeing as the only other option is bottles.

A tip my sister gave me before the birth of my youngest was to use an empty wipes container to freeze my Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags. They fit perfectly which makes it even better. It's a great alternative to pricey storage solutions that promise the same thing. Why not use something you already have that costs a lot less.

However, you can easily freeze breast milk flat without the use of a wipes container. Now that I’m exclusively pumping for a milk bank post-surrogacy, I simply lay the bags flat on the shelf in my freezer of my fridge. Another great tip is to freeze between two cookie sheets because then your bags will be flat on both sides.

Breast Milk Cubes

Another option for moms is to freeze breast milk in cubes, like ice cubes. When I briefly did this, I used Munchkin's Click Lock Fresh Food Freezer Trays, but many other—probably better—options are available. If I was to do it again, I’d probably use a tray designed for freezing breast milk such as Milkies Milk Tray or a flexible silicone tray such as this one Nuk offers.
Freezing breast milk like this can be convenient as many tray options allow you to freeze in 1 ounce portions, so you can thaw exactly what you need, when you need it.

However, it can also be a real pain to get the cubes out of the tray. You will need to be mindful of properly storing the breast milk to avoid freezer burn.

Proper care of breast milk is important so that the hard work of pumping doesn’t go to waste. Any mom who’s ever dumped a few ounces of her pumped milk knows that crying over spilled milk is absolutely fine!

How do you store breast milk? Are you guilty of freezing ugly breast milk lumps at one point, too?

Foods that Boost Breast Milk Production

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 28 Nov 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Ever heard of lactogenic foods? These are basically just foods that are chemically beneficial to the production of breast milk and could, potentially, help increase your milk supply. Many moms struggle with low milk supply and producing enough breast milk to satisfy their baby.

This can sometimes be amplified by returning to work and/or not responding well to the breast pump while away from baby. Other than nursing or pumping often, certain foods can naturally benefit lactation. Whether you eat these foods raw or whip them up into a yummy cookie recipe is up to you.

Drink

Water
Lactation Teas
Coconut Water
Barley Water
Some imitation coffees
Ginger Ale

Related Post: 3 Things Killing the Breast is Best Campaign

Eat

Carrots
Asparagus
Green Beans
Yams
Sweet Potatoes
Watercress
Green leafy vegetables
Peas
Beets
Oatmeal
Brown Rice
Barley
Most grains/legumes
Avocados
Raw almonds
Cashews
Macadamia nuts
Apricots
Green papaya
Parsley
Salmon

Related Post: 14 Breastfeeding Facts

Spices & Herbs

Garlic
Ginger
Onion
Basil
Fenugreek
Dill
Marjoram
Turmeric
Fennel

Pin It!

30+ Recipes For Boosting Lactation

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 11:53:00 +0000

Breast milk production is heavily influenced by supply and demand from baby (or pump, if you’re an exclusive pumper). However, sometimes that just doesn’t seem to be enough and we need a little extra lactation boost.

Certain foods are known to help increase milk supply for breastfeeding and pumping moms. To help stave off boredom with eating oatmeal everyday, all day—or one of the other lactation superfoods—some pretty genius moms have come up with a variety of recipes that can help boost milk supply.

Lactation Smoothies & Shakes

Very Berry Breakfast Lactation Smoothie by Fresh Milk Mama
Simple & Healthy Green Lactation Smoothie by Fresh Milk Mama
Lactation Boosting Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Milkshake by We’re Parents
Nutella Lactation Smoothie by Lemons & Laughs
Lactation Boosting Peanut Butter Apple Pie Smoothie by We’re Parents
Banana & Cinnamon Lactation Smoothie by Sarah Lampley
Pumpkin Pie Lactation Smoothie by Little Lovelies
Lactation Lemonade by The Leaky Boob

Related Post: 4 Tips For Breastfeeding & Working

Gluten & Dairy Free Lactation Recipes

Chocolate Chip Lactation Banana Bread—Gluten and Sugar Free by Kara’s Pregnant
Dairy Free Lactation Cookies by Houston Moms Blog
GF Vegan Apple Pie Lactation Muffins by Suburban Hippie Homestead
Grain Free Lactation Cookies by Real Everything
Allergen Friendly Lactation Cookie Bar by The Eco Friendly Family
Gluten Free Milk Makers Bars by Home Field Fitness
GF Vegan Labor & Lactation Energy Bites by The Better Birth Doula
GF Vegan Dairy Free Peanut Butter Lactation Cookies by Healthful Mama
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies GF & Dairy Free by Above Hoarded Gold

Lactation Cookies & Other Baked Goods

M&M Lactation Cookies by Steel Cut Oats
Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Lactation Bars by The Cocina Monologues
The Miracle Milk Cookie by Lifestyle Hunting
Homemade Double Chocolate Lactation Cookies by Butter Cream Sugar
Lactation Brownies by HBC Organics
Blueberry Oatmeal Lactation Muffins by Fab Haute Mama
Pumpkin Spice Lactation Cookies by Premeditated Leftovers
Chocolate Chunk Lactation Cookies by Steel Cut Oats
Lactation Banana Chocolate Chip Bread by The Llama Mama
Easy Lactation Muffins by Finding Sanity
“Pump Up Your Milk” Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins by Love and Zest
Butterscotch Lactation Cookies by The Baker Chick

Related Post: Storage Solutions for Freezing Breastmilk

Other Milk Boosting Goodies

No Bake Lactation Protein Bars by We’re Parents
Chocolate Almond No Bake Lactation Cookies by Small + Friendly
No Bake Lactation Bites by The Baker Mama
No Bake Lactation Power Protein Balls by Clarks Condensed
Milk Booster Overnight Oatmeal by Mummy Lil Thought

Your Comments About My Pregnancy Are Not Wanted

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

As I get more pregnant, people get more loose lipped and brazen with their assumptions, comments, and so-called jokes. I am just shy of 39 weeks pregnant when writing this, so it’s quite obvious that I’m pregnant. I get that.

And I don’t mind the polite questions or conversation, even if it is repetitive and I’ve already had this same conversation with 5 million other people. Or the fact that I’m a surrogate and some of the questions (well, a lot of the questions) don’t even really apply to me. However, I don’t want to have to explain being a surrogate to every. single. person.

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In case you’re wondering, it’s really not that cute or funny when you’ve heard something like, “Wow, you look like you need another one” for the third time in a day.

I’d also like to make a PSA that any of these types of comments are not appreciated either:

You need the lay off the cheeseburgers.

Are you serious right now? This isn’t appropriate to say to anyone. Ever. It’s just rude. I get that you’re just acknowledging my obvious pregnancy, but I could definitely do without the acknowledgement if this is how it’s going to be done.

You’re not suppose to swallow the watermelon seeds.

My intense eye rolling cannot be conveyed appropriately through a blog post, but I’ve heard about 100 too many watermelon related jokes. Or basketball references. It’s really not that cute.

Related Post: 14 Quick Breastfeeding Facts

There’s something wrong with the water here.

Believe it or not, we (the pregnant ladies) are not all congregating around you on purpose. Just because there are two of us in the same county, doesn’t mean you have to go on and on about the quantity of pregnant women in the area.

You haven’t had that baby yet?

No. Thanks, though, for pointing out that I’m still pregnant. I didn’t notice myself.

Any comments about my size/baby’s size.

Oh you think baby is going to be huge? Oh you think I’m huge. Well, I surely appreciate your unnecessary assessment.

Related Post: 4 Reasons to Cloth Diaper

Try this instead…

Okay, so once when walking through the grocery story, a young woman passing me by simply smiled and told me, “Congratulations.” I don’t know if it was because I was 30+ weeks pregnant or what, but I felt like that was the sweetest, simplest gesture anyone could make. I didn’t get hounded with questions by a (well meaning, I’m sure) stranger. She just simply congratulated me and I kind of wanted to hug her.

I think it’s important to remember that we are pregnant for 40 (sometimes very long and miserable) weeks. Our hormones can be crazy. Our emotional state may be questionable. And it can get really outrageous with all the comments, questions, and so on from friends, family, and complete strangers. Instead of cracking a joke, try a kind and simple gesture. If you’re close to the person, offer a hand.

6 Perks to Being a Young Mom

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 07 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

So I’m not even 25 and I have 3 kids. Some people might read that and be like, “Okay, so what?” Other people are flabbergasted. It really depends on your circle and your own personal beliefs on whether being a young mom is the norm or not.

My oldest was born when I was 14, so I’ve had comments all over the place about that, because most people just assume I’m the one who birthed him and that I was got pregnant at 14. Not that, even if that were true, that gives them anymore right to their sometimes rude comments and assumptions.

Being a young parent can be crazy, but definitely has its perks.

1. I’ll be a young grandparent.

Unless all 3 of my kids wait a really long to have kids, I’ll have grandkids by my early to mid 40s, if not sooner. I think it’ll be great to be that young and, most likely, still have my health and the energy that I currently know it takes to interact with little ones! I’ll be able to play with them and babysit them and all around enjoy them in a way that I might not be able to if I was older. This is probably even more true for great-grandchildren, which I’ll probably have a few of by 60 to 65. Basically, it’s great to know I’ll likely see several generations of my family in my lifetime!

Related Post: 21 Ridiculous Things All Parents Say

2. I have the energy now!

Kids are exhausting regardless of if you have one when your 19 or when you’re 40. I get that. I just can’t help but think about all the effects of aging on the body I keep learning about in my pre-nursing classes, though. The truth is, I’m young now and taking advantage of the perks of youth by pouring my life and energy into motherhood and other things (marriage, college, etc); instead of taking it one life step at a time.

3. We grow and learn together.

I have the opportunity to grow and learn with my kids. All parents change from the people they were before children, but I mean this in a different sense. I’m still in school and can relate to my children in that aspect and I’m still developing as a person and I’m not so set in my way. I feel like my children have a lot of opportunity to see me mold into the person I will eventually be, and I hope it can be comforting to them as they grow and learn about themselves and who they are.

Related Post: Relieving Pregnancy Pains Without Medication

4. I can relate to them!

It hasn’t been that long since I was a kid, even if some days it feels like an eternity. I feel like I can more closely relate to my children, their experiences, and how they’re feeling because there really isn’t a huge time gap between my childhood and theirs. Heck, sometimes I still get called a “baby” by coworkers or others that are part of similar life experiences as me but older.

I’ll be a young empty nester.

So when my youngest turns twenty-one, I’ll only be forty-three years-old! That’s so young! Now who knows if my nest will be totally empty by then, because kids don’t just magically disappear at the age of 18 and phase into adult life and their adult homes. I’m just imagining that my husband and I will both be able to enjoy each other and just whatever stuff we want to to do still because we’ll be pretty young!

5. I have time to return to my career.

If I want to take time off to dedicate to moming or just to have a break from pursuing my career goals, I’m still young enough where, theoretically, returning to the workforce shouldn’t be as challenging as if I were older; if for no other reason than I have plenty of time to rebuild momentum.

Related Post: 10 Chores for Toddlers

6. I’m still kind of cool, right?

I’m not totally out of sync with what’s currently trending. And even if I am, it’s probably because that’s how I’ve always been without caring much for what’s currently “cool.” So, this one is more of a joke than anything, because I’m a mom now, so I’m sure I’m definitely not “cool” and haven’t been for a long time.

I’m not sure if there is a perfect time to conceive, socially or biologically. There are all kinds of studies that have produced varying data and come to all kinds of conclusions. So, basically, do whatever works for you, right?

Are you a young mom or did you wait to have kids? What prompted you to be one or the other?

A Surrogate Birth Story

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 31 Oct 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It’s been three days since the beginning of the end of my first journey as a surrogate (when I wrote this). On Friday, October 7th, 2016, I was 39 weeks pregnant with a baby boy whom I had no genetic relation and soon he would meet his dads for the first time! Myself, my husband, and Baby’s parents were anxious and nervous in our own rights.

At my 36 week check up, we discovered that Baby was still breech. He never did turn and the decision was made to have a scheduled c-section. This was all new territory for me.

First time surrogate. Different OB provider and hospital from my previous pregnancies. First breech baby. First c-section.

This was shaping up to be a very trying group of first time experiences that had me relieved that we were nearing the end of our journey but also nervous. The expecting parents arrived weeks in advance and were basically just bored and waiting around for Baby to arrive.

Their presence caused me—mostly self-inflicted—extra pressure, but I finally let myself be honest with them that I was exhausted and had a lot going on the last few weeks before delivery. I was still trying to maintain being a halfway decent mother and wife. They were totally understanding, per usual.

My husband absolutely sucks at saying all the right things, apparently, and I think I should have probably banned him from commenting on the whole procedure leading up to it. Looking back, I’m fairly certain he was nervous himself and word vomiting not-funny-jokes related to the birth and what it was going to be like.

Related Post: Surrogacy: Getting Started

At 7:50AM, two blocks from the hospital, I get a phone call from the woman who would be my nurse for the day to come.

“Amanda, are you coming to your scheduled c-section today?” was her question.
“All of my paperwork said to arrive at 8AM. I’ll be there in about 5 minutes.” I confirmed and we disconnected.

My husband and I laughed and considered all the alternative answers. Had people actually decided not to show up for a scheduled c-section before? The labor and delivery unit had been expecting me at 7:30AM, apparently.

We arrive at the same time as the expecting dads and make our way upstairs to labor and delivery, where we are shown to my room. My c-section is schedule for 9:30AM.
It’s almost time.

Here We Go!

The next 90 minutes are a whirl of personal questions—mostly for me, but some for the dads—and prepping for surgery. I am wearing an always-fashionable hospital gown, surgery cap, my glasses and an IV in my forearm.

The anesthesiologist is a curt Asian man whos social skills left something to be desired. He’s telling me about long lasting pain relief and side effects and benefits and I’m signing consents, while my husband is being given what I lovingly call the ‘bunny suit.’

Then the nurse is putting the ugly, tan no-slip hospital socks on my feet and I’m walking across the hall to the OR.

There are already several people in there, and I sit on the edge of the OR table as everyone bustles around preparing.

I’m nervous.

There’s a lot going on, though, and Mr. Personality—the anesthesiologist—soon is giving me the spinal pain medication.

Back of knees against the OR table.
Hunch over.
Hold still.
Here come’s the stick and burn.
Done.

In just a few short seconds, my feet are warm and tingly. It’s time to lie down, which I do mostly unassisted. Someone is placing my legs for a catheter, while someone else is instructing me where to put my arms. I don’t need to have them dangling over the side like that.

Related Post: What is a surrogate mother?

Nurse R. mentions that with everything going on at once, I don’t get time to be nervous. She’s right, and I’m thankful. Another nurse and I chat about surrogacy.

I briefly register and find some humor in the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m exposed to all 100 people in the room and I could care less.

I’m nauseous.
So nauseous.

Even with all that has happened, it’s really only been mere minutes—maybe 5?—since I got the spinal. I tell them I’m feeling very nauseous and the OR Mom—or maybe ‘the gofer’ is a better term, I had been jokingly told earlier—stands next to the side of my head with a green barf bag. Mr. Personality gives me a dose of Zofran in my IV.

I spend the next few minutes imagining having to suffer through an hour of being sick to my stomach and, surely…eventually barfing all over myself. Because how does someone even barf to the side of their face while lying flat on an OR table without it being an awful, miserable mess? They don’t, right? It simply can’t be. Just great!

Oh and the nausea is gone. Thank god!

OR Mom can go back to goffering and Mr. Personality is wrapped in a warm blanket somewhere—yes, literally—and Dr. B is in the room now. I’ve been wiped with iodine and there’s a tarp in my way. Hubby is in his bunny suit next to me.

Then There Was Baby

A large part of me had been very thankful that Mr. Personality hadn’t felt comfortable with any extra people in the room, because I was nervous as heck. However, I realize around this time how little I actually care now that everything is started—I think they’ve started, right?—and am a little sad that the expecting parents are anxiously waiting in their own room for Baby to be brought to them.

I talk to Daniel, my husband, for distraction. Part of me is a little worried about focusing too much on what is going on. What is going on, anyway? I really can’t tell. Between the pain meds and the tarp, it really is hard to tell.

I ask Daniel if he’s going to watch. Yep. He’s sitting on a stool next to my head. He’s too short to simply stretch his neck and look over the tarp. He makes a joke about it.

I can feel movements and I’m listening to comment being made on the other side of the tarp. Daniel is standing now, watching. Nurse R., who’s also in charge of taking photos for the parents, tells Daniel he has to sit back down if he starts to feel faint. He says he will, bot not to worry because he’s not going to pass out.

Related Post: Surrogacy: Compensation

There’s a brief discussion of all the people who she’s seen pass out, including doctors. I can feel movement—that’s Baby, wiggly ‘til the end—pressure and tugging. It’s very weird and literally feels like a baby is being pulled out of your insides…y’know, minus any pain you might expect to be associated with such a thing. Who would have thought, right?

Here we go. Baby comes out butt first. Oh, he must be big. They’re all commenting on it. His head is briefly “stuck.” And he’s out…I guess. I can already tell my stomach feels deflated. There’s some suctioning going on.

Baby starts crying at some point. I can tell Daniel is glowing and grinning even though he’s wearing a surgical mask. I tease him and tell him he’s weird. He tells me that Baby is cute. I can’t tell because Daniel’s arm is in my way.

He sits back down.

There’s a chubby cheeked, pink baby boy across the room being evaluated by nursing staff and a nurse practitioner.

Yep, he’s definitely cute.

Dr. B. is guessing he’s around 9 pounds, but Daniel doesn’t think he’s as big as Luna, our daughter, was. She was 9 pounds, 3 ounces. I tell him I think Baby is probably close.

Recovery

Dr. B. is putting me back together. It’s…different…then the taking apart process. It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel very good either. Just…weird.

Someone—maybe Dr B.—makes a comment about how most people get nauseous at this part and how good I’m doing. I break the news that I got Zofran about 7 minutes after I entered the room, so I’d already been there, done that.

Oh. And we’re done.

I’m being slid onto my bed. I get rolled around some—this is weird because I’m usually the one rolling people around—and they put the abdominal binder on me. I like the way it feels immediately.

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Back to my room we go.

The next few hours all blur together, mostly. My pain is very well controlled, minimal even. Nausea is awful and it takes a while for me to not be lightheaded anytime I’m sitting up even a little bit. At some point I become itchy.

I have some brunch and a second dose of Zofran. I keep saying I’ll take a nap and don’t. I don’t see Baby and his dads until mid afternoon, sometime after I’ve pumped the first dose of colostrum for the little guy.

Bed Time Expectations vs Realities

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 17:51:00 +0000

Bed time. You know… That glorious time of the day where your children fall into their innocent dreams and you finally get some much needed peace, quiet, and alone time—probably at the expense of your own sleep. Yeah, well, I hate bed time, and I know I'm not the only one.
Sure, some nights are exactly like that mom fantasy. Some nights the kids are even asleep early enough where I’m not sacrificing too many winks of my own for a little me time. However, there are many nights (like tonight) that I loathe bed time.

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We shared a bed with our youngest for most of her infancy and a large majority of her toddlerhood. She’s two and half now and still sleeps with us…whenever. There’s no real “rule of thumb” here for whether or not that’s happening one night a week or all seven.

Sometimes my expectation for bed time are met, but with three kids, it feels like there’s always that one that has to make it difficult at the end of the day when I’ve almost hit my max moming limit or it’s a day I just really need the munchkins to go to sleep.

Here are some expectations versus their alternate realities at my house.

Cosleeping Expectation

Toddler and I (and maybe one or both of the boys) snuggle in together and loll into a dreamy, loving sleep surrounded by those we love.

Cosleeping Reality #1

Toddler rolls around for 30 minutes, cries about not being able to find her cup of water, kicks me in the rib cage, argues over whose pillow she’ll sleep on (mommy’s or daddy’s), and an hour later I’m wondering why I didn’t just put her in her own bed and will I ever get to sleep?
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Cosleeping Reality #2

All of #1 plus add in one or two more kids, being hot and squished and possibly peed on and really thinking that going and sleeping on the boys’ bunk bed is a better idea.

Crib Sleeping Expectation

Put toddler in her bed with her sippy cup of water, pillow, blanket ,and probably a baby doll. Sit in chair next to crib for 10 to 30 minutes while she settles and falls asleep, possibly requiring you to hold her hand.

Crib Sleeping Reality

Toddler cries because she wants her sippy cup (it’s right next to her). She practices her awesome jumping skills. She might even be quiet for forty five minutes but starts crying the second I exit the room. An hour and a half later and I wish I would have just waited an hour to put her to bed.

Older Kids Bed Time Expectation

Tell six and ten year old boys to go to bed. They have bunk beds but prefer to share a bed and will chat for awhile before falling asleep.

Older Kids Bed Time Reality

Wrestlemania is happening but only after each have taken their turn peeing, getting a drink, interrupting you trying to put the toddler to bed, and so on. They are acting like they each just had an energy drink and being so loud you have to separate them to their own beds as punishment, but in 45 minutes they’ll come ask to be reunited and actually go to sleep like you told them to the first time.

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When it’s good, it’s great. But bed time can be a real PIA and days like today, I’m feeling the struggle. I just want to say forget it and let them run rampant until they’re exhausted and we all pass out. Unfortunately, I have to be up at 5AM and bed time has to happen.

Bed Sharing Safety Tips

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Bed sharing, a lot like breastfeeding, is still a very taboo parenting choice in many Western countries. Of course, this is when you’re out in public or talking to your pediatrician. The reality is, a lot of parents have shared sleeping space with their infant, toddler, or older child…probably quite a few times!

It’s one of those parenting choices that comes with so much judgement! Also, everyone seems to be an expert and there’s so many conflicting facts and even more opinions, that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and maybe even guilty.

The most important thing…

The most important thing I can say and stress is that parents who bed share should do so intentionally! Many dangers can be eliminated simply by making the intentional choice to bed share—sometimes called co-sleeping, though co-sleeping can be room sharing or bed sharing.
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Safe sleep surface

If you’re going to host the family bed, then the bed needs to be safe for your little one. Eliminating risks of entrapment, suffocation, and falls is the priority here.

Take your bed off its frame, so it’s closer to the ground.
Make sure you have a firm mattress.
Keep room at a comfortable temperature, so you can eliminate excess blankets, pillows, etc.
Pull bed away from wall and remove other risks that might provide opportunity for baby to become trapped.

Don’t be a risk factor!

Part of being an intentional bed sharer is knowing what conditions and choices can make it inappropriate and, most importantly, dangerous for you to sleep with your baby.

If you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs (including many prescription drugs), then you shouldn’t bed share with your infant.
If you’re obese, then it can be dangerous to share sleeping space with your baby.
If you’re overtired, your child is safer sleeping solo.
If you’re a smoker, you shouldn’t sleep with your baby because of the increased risk of SIDS.

Never ever, ever…

Couches, loveseats, recliners, etc. are never a safe place for baby to sleep. This is true for parents who sleep with their babies, as well. There are lots of reasons, but at least one is all the crevices where baby can slip or slide and become stuck and strangle, suffocate, etc.

Where to learn more?

If you want more information about bed sharing, room sharing, co-sleeping, or just are seeking general knowledge about family sleeping arrangements, then here are three links that can help you!

KellyMom on Co-sleeping and Bed Sharing—Includes an abundance of links to other resources, as well.
University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Sleep Lab—Has lots of info, as well as guidelines about sharing sleeping space
James McKenna and FAQs about Co-sleeping

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There is no one “right” way to do this parenting thing, so if you’re considering bed sharing or maybe bed sharing has chosen you, then safety is what is important! Finding what works for your family is what’s important and remembering that all children are different is helpful, as well.
Nothing in this post constitutes medical advice and I’m not give medical or “professional” information. I’m simply a mom sharing info with others who, hopefully, find it useful and thought provoking.
We love bed sharing in our home, but it’s been different with each of our kids. How do sleeping arrangements work in your home?

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Lego, Minecraft, Playdoh Charlotte Mason Inspired Narration Cards

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

This year is our first year homeschooling. The “meat” of our curriculum comes from Build Your Library, a secular and literature based curriculum that is inspired by the Charlotte Mason style of teaching.

Included in the curriculum your purchase are a wonderful collection of narration cards for your kids to draw or choose from. My kids really love Minecraft, Legos, and Playdoh, so I’ve created 20 more cards to go with the ones included in our Build Your Library curriculum.

I print mine on bright colored cardstock and laminate them. Then I cut them up for the kids to choose from on days we’re doing narration.

These could be used separately from the Build Your Library curriculum. They’re straightforward enough to be used in any homeschooling environment. Simply have a child do his daily readings—or you read to them—and then draw a card. You might get:

Build your favorite character’s home in Minecraft.

It’s fun and helpful to have discussions before, during, and after these kinds of activities to help build on what the child heard, remembers, learned, feels, thinks, etc.

>> CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD PDF FILE <<

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5 Printable Planner Pages—Arrowhead Themed Coral & Brown

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Mon, 22 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

School is back in session or about to be for children and adults alike, which means the summer relaxation season is wearing off. Before we know it, it’ll be the holidays and extra curricular activities will be in full swing. Calendars will be full, if you’ve been fortunate to use one.

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If you’re still looking to put together a planner for the busy season of life—really, what season of life isn’t busy, though?—then here are five free planner printables just for my awesome readers! This is a first for me, so let me know how you like them or if you find any mistakes!

I’ve included a daily, weekly, and monthly planning page. In addition to those two pages, there’s also budget and meal planning pages. What other pages would you like to see in future free offerings? What are your favorite planner pages?

These pages are completely editable, as well. You can change many parts of them, and I highly encourage you to experiment and let me know how it goes.

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Soon, I’ll be adding lots of other options to my Etsy shop. But don’t worry, freebies, sneak peaks, and discounts will all continue right here!

>> CLICK HERE TO ACCESS DOWNLOAD <<

What would you like to see for the next freebie?

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Motherhood from the Bathroom

noreply@blogger.com (A) — Tue, 16 Aug 2016 17:06:00 +0000

When we bought our house, there was my husband, myself, our Kindergartener, and our toddler. Three bedrooms. One—large—bathroom. Now, we’ve added our daughter, a cat, and two large dogs. Suddenly, our house—and especially the singular bathroom—doesn’t feel quite so large, or big enough at all, really.

However, based on what all the other moms (and some dads, too) are saying…I don’t think it’s the one bathroom that’s the issue. It’s just the reality of parenting, where you have one or four bathrooms, one or six kids. I’m not the first to notice.

Patti of Insane in the Mom Brain, who is totally hilarious, and a collection of other bloggers published I Just Want to Pee Alone in 2013, which went on to be a four book series.

Now that I’m up to three kids, three pets, and a husband…Well, bathrooms—or bathroom, singular, rather—do not equal privacy in this household. We didn’t even have a door on our bathroom for at least two months after the last one literally came off the hinges.

Bathroom Realities of Motherhood

Eating in the bathroom.

I don’t want the kids to eat anymore cereal. I want cereal. I’m hiding in the little “cove” our toilet sits in, eating a bowl of cereal while the tea I’m boiling on the stove boils over and karma bites me in the butt.

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Everyone’s bladder is on the same schedule.

I’m seven months pregnant and I have to pee. Suddenly, I’m racing a toddler in a diaper and my six year-old to the only toilet in the house because everyone else now has to pee, as well.

The tub doubles as a toilet.

While my kids have never peed in the sink, like some of my friends have at parties, it’s probably just because they’re too short to reach it. The tub, on the other hand, regularly gets peed in (see last point) by kids and adults, alike. My toddler may have finally grown out of pooping in the tub every time she takes a bath.

Can I join you?

I hope you don’t mind the close proximity of toddler hugs or a neglected cat who wants to be pet while you’re trying to poop. Because since you’re sitting still for a few moments, everyone is demanding to take that time to get in some snuggles. Or maybe you’re in the shower and the only way the baby is getting bathed is with you. Even my cat likes to live life on the edge—of the tub—while I’m trying to shower and the dogs try to sneak in and get a lick of the delicious shower water. If I try to shower by myself, I’m “caught” 99% of the time by an already-half-stripped small child demanding to get in the tub for the fifth time today.

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All eyes on you.

Maybe this one time, you actually don’t have a small child trying to sit on your lap or a feline who is taking advantage of the empty space for some quick petting. Well, if they’re not sitting on you, they’re staring at you. I hope you don’t have a shy bladder, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a dog laying at my feet staring up at me or a kid watching me for no particular reason.

Real talk.

My kids always have the most pressing questions when I’m on the toilet or in the shower. If they’re miraculously otherwise occupied, my husband absolutely has to show me the “funniest” YouTube video ever or tell me that same story he told me yesterday.

Sure. Lock the door. I dare you.

Before our door came off the hinges and we replaced it with another, the bathroom door was the only interior door with a working lock. First, I can’t tell you how many times I was locked out of our only bathroom because a kid had messed with the lock and then closed the door when exiting. Second, when you lock the door as the parent, all the previous points still apply except you now have kids and pets on the outside of the door in a state of panic because they can’t reach you. The littlest children are probably crying and hysterical and the older ones can just yell their questions through the door or tattle on each other or narrate exactly how upset the littlest is.

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Basically, the bathroom stops being a place for private, long, hot showers and sexy time with your significant other. It stops being where you spend an uninterrupted hour getting ready—makeup, hair, etc—every day. It’s almost as much a family gathering place as the dining room.

Maybe that’s not your reality. But it is mine. What’s motherhood from the bathroom like at your house?