Today you turn 7. SEVEN! It hardly seems possible. Then again, it hardly seems possible that there was ever a time when you weren’t in my life. You are, quite simply, the best time I’ve ever had. Your smile lights up every room you walk into. Watching you grow into the person you’ve become and the person you’ll be has been the greatest privilege of my life, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds you for you, my bright and darling daughter. Before you go on growing up any faster, I thought I’d preserve some of the things that made you you at the age of 6. Someday you’ll read this and know how loved and treasured you were. And I hope that many of the things that I’ve described here are still with you. Be brave. Always speak your mind. Your voice matters. You are smart. You are kind. Be your own person. Know that you have the power to move mountains and change the world. To quote Dr. Seuss, there has never been anyone more youer than you. Keep showing the world just how awesome YOU are. 

When you were six, you loved cats more than anything. Probably even more than Mommy and Daddy.

When you were six, you lost your first tooth … and then five more. In fact, you lost your sixth tooth on the last day you were six because you were determined to make it happen. When I went to wake you up that morning, I saw you had written the word “tooth” on your wrist as a reminder to yourself to wiggle it all day. Sure enough, it came again thanks to your dogged determination.

When you were six, you wanted to be a veterinarian when you grew up.

When you were six, you experienced death for the first time when we lost your Da. From the start, the two of you shared a fierce bond. I wish you’d had more time with him but know that the years you had were full of love. He was so proud of his little Scooter.

When you were six, you suffered your first major heartbreak when your beloved kindergarten/first grade teacher moved away a few weeks into the school year. The timing couldn’t have been worse — you learned she was leaving the same week Da died. Some dark, sad, tear-filled weeks followed, but then you discovered the ability of Skype to bring far-off loved ones near again. You also learned that those we love never really leave us, even if we can’t be with them any more. Listen to your heart and you will know how much those two loved you once upon a time.

When you were six, you played basketball for the first time and loved it. And Daddy coached for the first time. You two made quite a pair on your Bad News Bears team.

When you were six, you also loved to run, go to gymnastics/fit kids after school and participate in Ninja Warrior Nights. And climb our walls. Literally.

When you were six, you discovered the joy of chapter books. You’d spend hours following the adventures of Junie B. Jones, The Neverland Girls, Ivy & Bean, the padawans at the Jedi Academy and Susan, Edmund and Lucy in Narnia.

When you were six, you had four pets — three cats named Blue, Duke and Otto and a fish named Bluey. Can you sense a theme?

When you were six, you opened your first business: the world’s first (and to our knowledge, only) Tadpole/Snocone stand.

When you were six, you played piano beautifully, especially your favorite song, “Ode to Joy.”

When you were six, you still believed whole-heartedly in Santa and the tooth fairy and were all too happy to engage in arguments about the validity of your beliefs with doubters. And, oh yes, the Blue Devil, too.

When you were six, you said good-bye to training wheels.

When you were six, you sometimes still climbed into bed during the night with Mommy and Daddy. Not that we were complaining.

When you were six, you went on your first major international trip and just like your parents, fell deeply in love with the people, animals and landscape of Costa Rica.

When you were six, your heart was the size of an elephant’s. You’d leave us little love notes all over the house.

When you were six, your imagination was a thing to behold. Whether you were creating your own spaceship out of a cardboard box or finding ways to incorporate cats into every piece of art or school writing assignment, your cleverness was a joy to witness.

When you were six, you still loved to be a goofy, silly kid, whether it was your constant “meowing” or making crazy faces, you were never boring.

When you were six, you also liked to give makeovers, then make even sillier faces.

When you were six, you were up for anything. From all-day trips to Disney to paddling down Florida’s streams, you were usually game for any new adventure. You were also fearless. You crushed the ziplining course in Costa Rica, while your parents trembled in fear at parts.

When you were six, you graduated from watching Disney and Nick Jr. cartoons and sought out shows like “Scooby Doo,” “Jessie” and “Austin & Ally.” Personally, Mommy missed “Jake & the Neverland Pirates” and “Doc McStuffins,” but you insisted those shows were for “babies.”

When you were six, it hit me again and again that you weren’t a baby anymore. You were figuring the world out in ways that sometimes took me by surprise. You were learning how to spare someone’s feelings by pretending to like something or how hurtful words can be when you got in trouble at school for a drawing about a classmate. As much as I wanted to shield you from the tougher parts of life, it was something you had to start experiencing. But that didn’t make it any easier for us to watch.

When you were six, you were questioning the world around you and calling BS on things that just weren’t right. Always, always speak your mind about things that seek to belittle or diminish the value of others. Even if it’s something as simple as pretending there wasn’t a girl in a hit cartoon movie.

When you were six, you held your mother and father’s hearts in your hands and we said a prayer of thanks every day that we were blessed enough with the gift of you, our one-of-a-kind girl.

We have a lot of fun family traditions, from buying our tree at the same place every year to making cookies, but it’s also been fun to incorporate all the awesome events Orlando has to offer into our celebrations. Frankly, I just wish we had more days between Thanksgiving and Christmas … there’s too much to do!

In no particular order, here are my Top 5 Favorite Ways to Celebrate Christmas in Orlando:

1. Disney

Sorry, every other place, but nothing can match the magic of Disney at Christmas. From a decked out Magic Kingdom …

… to fun, interesting and informative international celebrations in Epcot …

… to the main event, for us at least: The Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights, there’s just no shortage of holiday cheer.

My husband and I both agree that the Osborne lights are our very favorite thing at Disney all year long. There’s just nothing else like it. It even leaves E speechless. See for yourself.

To quote E at the end if this video, WOW! Hands down, the Osborne lights is my favorite thing at Disney all year long. #ChristmasatDisney

A video posted by @jackiec44 on Nov 11, 2014 at 6:06pm PST

This year was the first year we just didn’t get a chance to do another favorite Disney Christmas activity: go around and look at all the decorations at the hotels. My two favorites are the giant gingerbread houses at the Grand Floridian and Boardwalk. So, even if you don’t have Disney passes, you can go visit all the hotels’s lobbies and enjoy that Disney magic … for FREE!

2. Orlando Ballet’s The Nutcracker

For the third straight year, I took E to Orlando Ballet’s beautiful production of “The Nutcracker.” It was extra special because it marked our first visit to the newly opened Dr. Phillips Performing Arts Center.

Not only does Orlando Ballet put on a gorgeous show, they offer a Family Series of this classic. That means they condense it to an hour, which is the perfect length for my young ballet fan. Plus, before the show, you can get your picture taken with some of the performers. Last year, we made it a girls day out with my mom and grandmother.

This year, it was a girls day out with friends.

I bumbled and didn’t get us upstairs in time for our traditional pictures with the ballerinas, which means I’ll now spend the next 365 days flogging myself over this huge fail, but the show itself did not disappoint.

It’s an event we look forward to all year long and I already can’t wait for next year’s performance!

3. A Real-Life Griswold House

When E was in pre-school, we had a tradition: after every year’s Christmas pageant, we would drive across town to visit a crazily decorated house. It’s a house we’ve visited every year since at least 2004 and one of our favorite — and (mostly) free — holiday traditions. I say mostly free because when you see the tremendous effort the homeowners have put into it, you can’t help but donate to the cause.

What’s really cool since we first started going is now the entire neighborhood gets in on the act. Many of them convert their garages into massive snow villages of tiny houses and trains, and some even make it “snow” outside, which is a real treat for Florida kids like E.

The house is in Winter Park, just off Howell Branch Road. Check it out! You won’t be disappointed!

4. Millenia Santa

Over the past six years, we’ve seen a lot of Santas. A lot. But none of them come close to matching the authenticity of the world’s best Santa — Mall of Millenia’s Santa. I mean, look at this guy.

We’ve “settled” for some OK Santas over the past few years, but this year warranted seeing this incredible Santa.

I had one wish for this Christmas — to get a picture of E showing off her missing two front teeth. I mean, what are the chances her two front teeth are missing at Christmastime?!? We hadn’t been to the Millenia Santa in a few years, mostly because the line is usually crazy long. We tried once earlier this season and bailed when we were greeted with a 2.5 hour line … at 8 at night. Insane. But then Michelle told me about the magic early Sunday morning trick and within 20 minutes of getting in line, bam, we got the picture I’d been dreaming about.

Santa nailed it.

5. Ice!

The incredible ICE! at the Gaylord Palms Resort is another holiday favorite.

We’ve been a few times before, including E’s first Christmas when I had to wear her in a baby carrier inside my jacket to protect her from the 9-degree temperatures! It’s a lot easier walking around when she’s on her own, now.

I finally smartened up and remembered to bring us plenty of hats, gloves and scarves.

This year’s theme is our favorite yet — The Nutcracker!

We oohed and ahhed over all our favorite scenes and loved zooming down the ice slides amidst brightly colored “candy.”

This year, there’s a fun new feature: you can watch one of the ice carvers in action.

Despite how colorful, gorgeous and intricate all the Nutcracker sculptures are, my favorite still remains the simplest: the Nativity scene. There’s just something so spectacular and special about this final ICE! scene.

After exiting the 9-degree area (brrrr), we headed to another new feature: the Alpine Rush snow tubes. We were there on a light night so I think E went down the slides at least 15 times. For real.

And I’m always a sucker for the huge selection in the gift shop (seriously, I’d make the trip there just to shop all the Christmas goodies, even if I wasn’t going into ICE!) and this year, we picked up a sparkly new set of horns for E.

So that’s my list. What’s on your ultimate Central Florida at Christmas list? And what are some of your favorite tradition in your town?

Disclosure: E and I attended ICE! for free as part of a media preview night. All other activities were on our dime and we hope to return to ICE! again this year, at our expense, because we like it that dang much. It runs at the Gaylord Palms through Jan. 4. Book online for cheaper tickets, including $4 off per ticket for Florida residents using the code FLR14.

Hello, friends! Long time, no blog. Whatevs.

I thought I’d take you back into the wayback machine to tell you about  the great time we had recently at the Coral Skies Music Festival. And since attending a full day of music is as rare for me lately as, um, blogging, well then that makes it blog-worthy!

After dropping E off at my grandparents and picking up our friend Joel, we headed over to Tampa for a day of great music, (extremely overpriced) craft beers and (mediocre) food trucks. At least one out of three ain’t bad. The weather was perfection, though, and any chance we get to take a full day off from parenting deserves celebrating. (I kid, I kid. But seriously, sometimes a day off from being on demand all day is really, really nice)

The shows started at noon. They smartly had two stages set up with 10-15 minutes between acts and the day actually ran really smoothly. It was easy getting back and forth between the stages and it was a nice mix of the main stage in the Amphitheatre and the other outside in a field.

We missed the first couple acts, including Benjamin Booker who I hope to catch another time. We arrived in the middle of the Bombay Bicycle Club’s set.

I’ve listened to them a few times but don’t know much of their music but really enjoyed their set. They’ve definitely been added to my permanent Pandora stations, now.

Plus, I need to study their lyrics to discover the meaning of the flowers. Every kid seemed to have copious amounts of flowers. Some girls had them in their hair; others, like this guy, were apparently flower dealers.

I first encountered the new Flower Generation at a Lumineers concert last year, but in that case, it made more sense given their song “Flowers In Your Hair.” So apparently flowers are a thing now. Duly noted, say the old people like us.

After Bombay, we wandered outside for another club — Tokyo Police Club. Clubs and flowers, so hot right now. So hot. Their set was pretty good, but I wanted to go fuel up for the set I was most excited about. It was nice to have options other than Miller Light. I tried a couple different kinds of ciders (also so hot right now) but that’s about all I could afford.

These bad boys were $12 each. Considering we were just about the oldest people there (more on that in a moment), I’m surprised the lines were as long as they were. How do college kids afford $12 beers?!?

Finally it was time for one of two bands I was most excited to see — the Bleachers.

Oh my God, guys. Oh my God. They freaking ROCKED my world. New favorite band. I’m hooked. The band is led by Jack Antonoff, the lead guitarist from Fun and Mr. Lena Dunham. He also wrote Sara Bareilles’ “Brave” and wrote/produced several of the songs on Taylor Swift’s new album, 1989. So yeah, he’s kind of a big deal. And can rock some short shorts.

I’ve been listening to The Bleachers for a few months and loving everything. Their sound sounds familiar but I could never place my finger on it until I read an interview with Jack where he said the sound he was going after with this album is a John Hughes vibe. YES! That’s exactly what it is. When you listen to these songs, you feel like you’re hanging out in Jake Ryan’s Porsche or stuck in detention with Claire, Brian, Allison, Andrew and Bender. And it’s not like The Bleachers’ music sounds like an imitation of ’80s pop music. It’s this whole new interpretation of it and to quote my 8-year-old self, it’s totally tubular.

Not only are the songs great but Antonoff is a born frontman. He just oozes personality and all of his interactions with the crowd were sincere and personalized. He talked about this being their first-ever show in Florida but said since his grandparents are here (like all retired NYers), he’ll be back. I really hope so.

Two highlights included the Bleachers truly embracing their 80s vibe in the song “You’re Still a Mystery” with a sax solo that Rob Lowe’s “St. Elmo’s Fire” character would have been proud of.

Guys, it was one of those moments that just makes you love music. I don’t care what genre you listen to, there’s nothing in the world like a great live set to get your heart pumping and to feel truly alive.

And then there are the moments that make you feel old. The Bleachers played a pretty kick-ass version of the Cranberries’ “Dreams,” which brought back all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings about being in Ireland with my college friends the year after the Cranberries became HUGE.

After the song, Jack jokingly said to the crowd, “I’m sure a lot of you don’t even know that song. Here, let’s do a show of hands to see how old you are. Raise your hands if you were born in the ’90s!” {the majority of the crowd screams} “OK, what about the ’80s?” {a still healthy portion screams, including, inexplicably our friend Joel who I think is older than me} “What about the ’70s?!?” {to which yours truly screams loudly — it was those damn $12 beers — and then, I kid you not, about a dozen heads whipped around and looked at me, in horror. HORROR, I tell you. As I complained about it all day, my husband pointed out that it was as if I was at a concert in the ’80s and someone celebrated being born in the ’50s. Rude. I mean look how well we blended with the kids}

Jack, to his credit, encouraged those of us of a certain age to keep on rocking. There was a woman there in the crowd who identified herself as being in her 60s and he made everyone cheer her on and told her she was amazing. He’s good people, I tell you. I can’t wait to rock out with the Bleachers again. They’re a band I’d travel for, and that’s saying something these days.

After the Bleachers’ all too short set, I was on such a music high and was psyched to head back out to the field to see the one band I’ve been dying to see for years — the Hold Steady.

For the first time in the day, things didn’t run exactly as planned. Well after the time the show was supposed to start, assorted crew members were on the stage trying to get the sound system working properly. Finally, it seemed, from the crowd at least, they gave up and just sent the band out. Things, sound-wise, were a bit spotty and the band seemed really frustrated. No matter, it was great to hear lead singer Craig Finn’s trademark grizzly voice live. I love the way that man sings … and rocks a pair of glasses.

I think the on-and-off technical issues really messed with the band’s mojo. I’ve heard great things about the band’s live shows and I’m a pretty big fan of the band, but unfortunately, I wasn’t a huge fan of the set. It was kind of a bummer. Still, an uneven Hold Steady show is a lot better than NOT seeing the Hold Steady so I was still happy to be there.

And I was pretty convinced that the guitarist was McSteamy’s twin, so that didn’t hurt.

After the set, we decided to skip the next act (City and Colour) so that we could eat. We hopped in the famous Tampa Taco Bus’s massive line because it seemed like our best best. I got two tacos, one with sweet potatoes and one with steak.

I remember liking Taco Bus the only other time I tried it, but I think that must have been PT — Pre-Texas. Ah, Texas. You and your perfect tacos and queso have officially ruined me for all other cheap imitators. Happy, now?

After our disappointing dinner, there were a couple more shows to go, including another I’d looked most forward to: Julian Casablancas+The Voidz. You probably know Julian from his former band, The Strokes, one of my favorites. I’d done enough reading to know his new act was quite different but I had no idea how different of a show it’d be.

The only way to describe the set was odd. Actually roller coaster (ok, fine, two words) might work, too. Parts of it were amazing. Parts were rambling and strange. And, then, the band abruptly left the show, a good 20 minutes before they were scheduled to end (which remember, this was a very well-run and well-scheduled show). After a few minutes, the band came back and Julian mumbled something about a misunderstanding about their set length and said “they had to play more.” I’ve never seen anything like it.

And for that final 20 minutes, the band played one song that we’re convinced they made up on the spot. There was a lot of jibberish about random things. Like chicken. I’m not joking.

The final act of the night was the big draw for most of the crowd. And Cage the Elephant did not disappoint. I admit I knew little about the band before its set but count me among its (mostly young) fans now. What a performance!

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve seen a lead singer with that much energy and almost manicness since I saw the Rolling Stones about a dozen years ago.

It’s a not a band I’d normally listen to a lot but I’d 100 percent see them live again.

So, that’s that. TL;DR: Coral Skies was a really, really well-organized and well-run festival. It had great bands, great beer (albeit pricey) and was just a wonderful way to spend the day. Please come back to Central Florida next year!

Later, I watched the movie “Space Camp” over and over again, daydreaming about heading to space with Kate Capshaw and Joaquin (when he was still Leaf) Phoenix.

But that was probably the extent of my interest. Moving to Florida in 2003 changed that. Suddenly, I could step outside my front door and watch shuttle launches from my across-the-street neighbor’s yard. So cool. Even cooler? In 2004, I started working for a local TV station’s website and one of my regular duties was to head over to Kennedy Space Center to cover shuttle launches and landings (and more than my fair share of scrubs, the most dreaded word to space watchers).

I mean, how can you top seeing this view from a mere three miles away, feeling the ground shake beneath your feet and the firing rockets pounding in your chest?

These pictures are from a launch of space shuttle Discovery in December 2006. Night launches were ridiculously awesome. Suddenly, the night would turn to day, illuminated by the powerful solid rocket boosters.

I was hooked.

From an early age, we also tried to instill a love of space in E, starting with her first launch experience when she was just 5 months old through the very final launch in July 2011. Why so sad? Because, as per our tradition, we watched the launch on TV then we ran outside to watch it ascending to the east. Sadly, on that very final launch, it was too cloudy in Orlando to see the shuttle in Titusville. Big sad faces all around.

As you may recall, we also had an amazing visit to the wonderful Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Centerin Washington DC last summer.

Since the shuttle program ended in 2011, many have wondered if there’s still a future at Kennedy Space Center. Guess what? Not only is there a bright future, but the past is alive, well and accessible, too.

Our family was recently given the chance to explore KSC and let me tell you, if you’re not including it on your Florida visit plans or if you’re a local who’s never been, you’ve got to get over there. It’s a must-do.

I don’t know how it’s taken me so many years of learning about NASA to find out that the NASA logo is called the meatball. So now you know, too!

Almost immediately you are greeted by some of President John F. Kennedy’s soaring words about space exploration.

They’ve done a wonderful job throughout his namesake complex of incorporating his inspirational words.

Since this was our third visit there, we knew exactly where we wanted to head first: the Apollo/Saturn V Center. You reach this via the KSC Bus Tour, which is included in admission. You’ll want to allow for a couple hours for this and it’s well worth the time.

The bus tour takes you around some of the most recognizable areas of the space program, including my favorite: the Vehicle Assembly Building, or VAB.
I don’t know if it’s possible to have a crush on a building but I have one on this glorious one. During the tour, the bus drivers share all sorts of interesting facts about the sights you’re seeing. For example, our driver shared with us that not only is the VAB the largest one-story building in the world, the old Yankee Stadium could fit on its roof and there’d still be an acre to spare! Plus, you’ll find out how big each of the stars and stripes in the flag are (think in terms of FEET not inches) and cool facts about the massive bay doors.

Over the course of the bus trip out to the Apollo/Saturn V center, you pass by a number of landmarks, including the massive crawler, which transported the shuttles from the VAB to the launchpads.
And you pick up a number of fun facts, including this one: when the crawler was fully loaded with the shuttle, external fuel tank and rocket boosters, it would weigh 18 MILLION pounds and get a gas mileage of 32 FEET per gallon.

The tour also takes you by launchpad 39-A, the site of 82 launches, including all 12 to the moon. I mean, that’s history!
We had a GREAT bus driver on our visit who was full of all sorts of interesting information about the historic landmarks, as well as the beautiful natural surroundings of the area. KSC is part of the Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge Area so it’s not uncommon to see some of our Florida wildlife, including water birds, gators, manatees and even some resident Bald Eagles.

Hello, little friend!
When you get off the bus, you line up for the first phase of the Apoll/Saturn V center experience. And sometimes, it’s so romantic you can’t keep your hands off each other.
Guys, I seriously waited forever for them to stop making out to take my shot but it just never happened. I get it, though: NASA is a huge turn-on for me, too. Carry on lovebirds. Buzz would be proud.

Do yourself a favor and don’t skip past the simulated Apollo launch experience. It’s pretty great. As you sit in bleacher seats, a ’60s era launch comes to life in front of you, complete with a rumbling room.
Between the recreated launch control room to the actual news coverage and launch video from the day, it’s like stepping back in history. And at the end, the real Jim Lovell has a special message for you, via video.

Then it’s time to check out a real treat: a MASSIVE Saturn V rocket laid on its side. This is the rocket that sent men into space 13 times and to the Moon and back. Pictures can’t do it justice, but I’ll try.

If you’re going to go to the Moon, you’re going to need some big boosters. Just ask the little girl under the big rocket.


One of E’s favorite parts of this center is following these signs to a very special discovery.


That’s (supposedly) a piece of the moon that you can touch. Whether it’s true or not, it’s still pretty cool and E always brings it up when we talk about KSC.

Here’s a pro tip: there’s a pretty decent cafeteria in the Saturn center, so we like to take our lunch break here and take our lunch outside along the water to eat. From here, you can see the launchpads and sometimes even spot a gator.

After lunch, we headed back to the main KSC Visitor Complex for another out-of-this-world exhibit: Atlantis!
On the way in, we even had the best kind of character interaction. Who needs Buzz Lightyear when KSC has astronauts?As fun as that was, it’s awfully hard to top seeing this beautiful lady in real life.


Amazing. I mean, you look at the shuttle and think, “How could this thing that looks like it’s covered in quilts and roof shingles actually make it to space and back?” Well it did, time and time again.
As my husband and I soaked in the sight of Atlantis, displayed in a way that only spacewalking astronauts ever saw her, E was preparing for her future life aboard the International Space Station.
Another kid-favorite feature is the slide that I think has something to do with the pitch of landings. All I know is it’s high, fast and E always insists on doing it many times.

The tribute to Stephen Colbert and his efforts to bring a treadmill to space may be my favorite exhibit.
After a lot of exploring and learning, we let E play on the great covered playground for a bit.
And there’s always time for Dippin Dots.
But wait, there’s so much more! There’s the Rocket Garden, with its hands-on capsules.

And the History of Space Exploration center dedicated to the beginnings of the space program, including the Mercury 7 studs. Plus, an unexpected treat: the original Mercury Mission Control Room, which was used for four years before Mission Control moved to Houston.
Another fun fact: the technology in your smartphone is way more sophisticated than every computer in this room … combined. How did they do it? Incredible.

We also found the capsule that sent our “neighbor” John Young to space.
His boyhood home is in our neighborhood and we’ve pointed it out to E on bike rides. So she was very excited when she found his name on the wall next to this capsule.

I’ve taken up enough of your time but there is so much more to explore at KSC: a really fun and interactive Angry Birds exhibit; IMAX movies on the Hubble Telescope and life aboard the ISS; the Space Shuttle Launch Experience ride; Lunch With an Astronaut and much more.

Tickets are pricey (starting at $50 for adults and $40 for kids and up, depending if you add on special tours; the Saturn V and Atlantis centers ARE included in admission), but I can’t tell what a spark this experience has lit in E. She came home and immediately spent the rest of the weekend creating what she calls a space closet out of cardboard box. I was all on board until I discovered her using a knife to poke holes in the top to create star holes. Science can be dangerous!

Who knows what her future holds but for now, she’s dreaming about traveling to space herself and that’s a very cool thing.

Just watch out for those sonic booms.

Disclosure: Our family was provided with three free regular admission tickets to Kennedy Space Center. All opinions are mine, unless of course NASA used the Force on us. Which, in case they’re wondering, is a totally acceptable use of the Force.

Are you a space nerd? If you could, would you go to space? Considering I get sick on Boeing 737s, I’m pretty sure I’d be screwed in space, but a girl can dream. Have you ever been to KSC? What was your favorite exhibit? 

Today is a busy, busy day. I sent my husband and daughter off to Disney because I have a (gulp) FLBlogCon presentation due tomorrow for this month’s conference. Don’t worry, I’m presenting on something related to my day job (newsletter marketing) not blogging. That would be hilarious.

Before finishing it up, I decided I did have time to squeeze in a quick workout at Jazzercise, then I rushed from class to Fresh Market because at 1, we’re having our first NFL kickoff pool party! Then, later in the afternoon, E and I are heading to Frozen on Ice. Like I said, busy day.

As I was buying chicken sausages from the meat counter, the meat guy says to me, “So, do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?” It took me a moment to realize he wasn’t referring to the sausages. Do people normally like to know the gender of their meat?

When I realized, in horror, that I was, yet again, being body shamed for carrying too much weight around my middle, I mumbled, “No, I’m not pregnant.”

To make matters worse, he rises up above the counter, looks down at my stomach and at first gives me the “Are you sure?” look, then launches into some awkward story about how he thought I was another customer he’d just been talking to and that we’re wearing “the exact same outfit” and “I know she’s around here somewhere!”

I just took my sausages and ran to the freezer section, where the tears started flowing. I know, how can this still upset me? I get asked, on average, at LEAST once a month. Usually, I laugh it off or can come up with some semi-witty response, but not today.

I’m just fucking done. I’m so sick of apologizing to clueless men — who 9 times out of 10 are fat themselves — that no, I’m not pregnant. I’m overweight.

Believe me, I don’t need you pointing out my puffy stomach for me to know it’s there. I see it. I feel it. My waistbands feel it.

This has, quite honestly, been some of the most difficult few months of my life. A very close family member is battling stage IV melanoma and the situation is not good. A dear friend is in the fight of her life. The home renovations project, that did lead to an amazing pool, put a tremendous strain on our finances and relationship this summer.

To sum it up — I’ve been struggling. Big time. I cry all the time. I know I’m probably a little depressed. I’ve been putting off workouts because I know they’d make me feel better, and frankly, most days I don’t want to feel better. I’ve canceled plans with friends because I’m just not up for having a good time.

I’m in a funk and I can’t get out of it. There are days when I feel I’m finally crawling my way back to a good place mentally, and then some fucker goes and points out my gut and sends me spiraling again.

So, here’s the open letter part of this rant: Guys, please, for the love of all things, STOP ASKING A WOMAN IF SHE’S PREGNANT! I don’t care if it’s clear she’s carrying triplets and is 7 months pregnant. Just don’t do it. You have no idea what she’s going through. Maybe she’s just had her baby (you know, that stomach doesn’t just disappear overnight). Maybe she’s just lost a baby. Maybe she had her baby 6 1/2 years ago and she knows very well, thankyouverymuch, that it’s time to finally get the baby weight off. She doesn’t need you to remind her.

I just can’t believe how often this happens to me. You all may remember I’ve even blogged about it before, which prompted a follow-up post: Questions to NEVER Ask Someone (and yes, I know there are a bunch of broken links in there, but the questions remain!). Maybe I’m too sensitive about it, but it just feels so sexist to me. Sometimes I try to convince myself, “Well maybe the rest of me isn’t that fat and since it’s just my stomach that’s why they’re asking.” Then I realize how messed up that line of thinking is, too.

I shouldn’t have to feel this shitty just for buying some chicken sausages for a party. And I sure as hell shouldn’t leave a store in tears when I’ve just spent an obnoxious amount of money there on grassfed beef hot dogs and essence of monk tears water (OK, fine, maybe it was just Hint).

For the record, here’s me today. I awkwardly asked a woman to take my picture and when I told her why, she, bless her heart, hugged me and said someone recently asked her if she was carrying twins. She’s not pregnant.

Thank you for indulging me. I’ve been wanting to write about my struggles because I’m sure there are others who go through these phases. If you’re just to look at my Instagram account and see my obnoxious number of pool pictures, I’m sure you’ve thought everything was fairy-tale like in my life. Well, it’s not. Not by a long shot. Unless of course, this is the hard period before the happily ever after.

But now that I’ve gotten this out of my system and had today’s good, hard cry, I’m already starting to feel a little better. And besides, football starts today! It’s hard to be sad when everyone’s teams are still undefeated, at least for the next couple hours. Hope my Eagles can start off strong.

Thanks for listening. And if you have any good comebacks to the pregnancy question, I’d love to hear them. I need new material other than, “No, and fuck you.” (Sorry Gram for the language).

I’m back from one of my unintended six weeks hiatuses. I just can’t seem to get my crap together lately, huh? One of these days. One of these days.

I’m not sure if you want them or not, but some Costa Rica recaps are coming. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. But I’ve got a dream!

As usual, though, the best places to keep up with me lately and my sometimes sitcom-esque life are on Twitter and Instagram. If you follow me on either of those platforms, you’ve likely seen me posting recently about #ProjectTadpole. If not, allow me to enlighten and amaze you with good idea that quickly spiraled out of control.

We’re in the process of putting in a pool in our backyard. Yay! We’ve been in our “starter” home for 11 years now (well officially as of next month). To be honest, we never thought we’d be in our smallish home this long. But the economy combined with some uncertain job times for both of us left us here. In the meantime, our little bedroom community has exploded and now there’s no place we’d rather live in the Central Florida area.

But that also means we’re already priced out of our neighborhood. Frankly, though, we’re not really itching for a bigger house. Our little 1940s era bungalow seems to suit our family of three just fine, except for one big flaw — we only have one not-very-big entertaining area. It’s been OK until now but I’m already looking ahead to the days when E will have friends over and want some level of privacy but still be someplace where we can keep an eye on her. It’s all about preparing for the teenage years. Am I right, parents?

After years of discussion, debate and dreaming, this summer we finally decided to take the plunge. Note to our future selves: starting a pool in June was one of our dumber ideas. If there ever is a next time, this project will be done during the DRY winters. The rain delays are getting really frustrating.

Even though it’s felt like it’s been going on forever, in just six weeks our yard has evolved from an unused blank space to a full-blown construction project with a future.

I really should go out there and move that red ball, huh?

For about three weeks, the project has mostly been stalled due to rain delays. Some things have still been completed, such as the plumbing and electrical, but we’re still not sure yet when the deck will be done. HOPEFULLY later this week.

The delay has been much appreciated by some species at least — frogs. For about three nights, I felt like I was back in the Costa Rican rainforest. Those damn frogs sang and croaked from dusk til dawn. When we went out to inspect one morning, it was like a Biblical plague — we counted at least a dozen frogs hanging out in the pool. As we were looking at them, I started noticing these huge clouds of black specks around the pool. We’re talking tens of thousands of seed looking things attached to long strings.

“Are those eggs?” I fearfully asked my former environmental studies major husband.

“No, there can’t be that many of them.”

Oh how wrong he was. Within days, our pool was teeming with thousands and thousands of baby tadpoles. At least one of us was thrilled. Who needs a creek?

Yeah, do you see those big black areas in the water behind her? Those are schools of tadpoles (are they schools?).

We agreed that she could raise a few of them in a tank in her room. But then she started worrying about what would happen to the other bazillion of them, especially since one of these days, the pool will be drained and cleaned before the bottom finish can be done.

When she learned that most of them would die, well, that was just not acceptable to our animal-obsessed kid. And thus, #ProjectTadpole was born.

E and her father decided to hold a tadpole sale in our front yard. And since we’re in the midst of the worst part of Florida summers, we knew we needed something else to draw people in. At our neighborhood Fourth of July party, our friend had a snocone machine and it was a HUGE hit. So they came up with an idea for the World’s First Snocone/Tadpole Stand** (until someone can prove us wrong).

Sidenote: there’s been a lot of debate in our house over the proper spelling. Is it snowcone (as I maintain), snow cone, snocone or sno-kone? We ordered cups and syrup on Amazon and one place called it sno-kone (which I think is more of a brand) and the other uses snow cone. We came up with a hybrid to settle all debates — snocone.

For the past couple weeks, E and her father have been in full-blown #ProjectTadpole planning and prep mode.

First, they captured three huge containers worth of tadpoles to nurture for the sale.

A friend had recently used that mini aquarium to raise their tadpoles to frogs and said it worked great, so that’s what we decided to use for E’s. Plus, it has a lid to contain them for when they reach the end stage — hopping frogs that I’m not really anxious to have jumping around the house.

Our favorite vet (Dr. Google) told us the best thing to feed tadpoles is boiled and chopped lettuce. I hate the taste and smell of lettuce (yes, seriously. And don’t say it doesn’t taste like anything. It tastes like lettuce and it’s gross. Trust me, I’ve spent 30+ years trying to force myself to like it and I give up) so you can imagine how much I’ve enjoyed the smell of hot, boiling lettuce.

Eventually we discovered you can also feed the tadpoles dried seaweed or plant-based fish flakes from the pet store so that’s been MUCH easier. In any event, E’s tadpoles are thriving. They’re growing really big and we’re watching their bodies transform on an almost daily basis.

The first batch of sale tadpoles didn’t fare as well. I think it’s because we were keeping them in the garage. One morning we came out and they were all dead. Oops. Thankfully, we have a steady supply of them. A few days before the sale, we scooped out another big container of them and this time kept them outside in the shade.

The nights leading up to the sale were dedicated to sign making.

The night before, I did some promotion on my personal Facebook page because we were (rightly) worried that just seeing Tadpoles/Snocones For Sale probably wouldn’t bring in a lot of foot traffic. Thankfully, I have some suckers, er, I mean awesome people for friends.

On the day of the sale, we set up a few signs near our street.

We opened up for business at 11:30 and waited for the customers to come streaming in.

The biggest boon to our little stand was the fact that we had a crew there working on the pool on Saturday. They were our best and most frequent customers. They were very sweet and kept trying to pay for each snocone but we only let them pay for their first round. After all, they were busting their asses all day on a hot Saturday, so unlimited snocones was the least we could do.

I’m not sure who had more snocones throughout the day, them or E. OK, E. Definitely E.

But our friends also came through in a big way. Most of our customers were friends and even though they’re probably so annoyed with me now about their sudden summer science projects, I think all the kiddos had a really fun time.

Hey, we did our part by handing out Tadpole Care Sheets to help make the process as easy as possible. And I’m pretty certain we didn’t even accidentally put a tadpole into a snocone once. Win!

Actually our funniest customers of the day were these two hipsters who I think got lost on their way to Brooklyn. They said they were intrigued by the signs and were hoping for some sort of tadpole infused snocones. They were kidding … I think. But they sure did take a lot of pictures of the set-up and I keep searching IG and Twitter to see what they had to say about it. Somehow no one Yelped the event. Rude.

At the end of the day, E had made about $40. And since we’re such kind parents, we didn’t even require her to give us a cut toward our expenses.

She did awesome though. She was on top of every fulfilling every snocone order and I only had to help her with the math for making change once or twice (but mostly that’s because we have very generous friends who kept insisting they didn’t need change). But in the days leading up to it, she was a part of all the prep work and helped with all the clean-up.

As a reward, I told her she could spend half of the money on toys and the other half went right into her piggy bank, aka her Duke Fund.

And because I was in such a good mood from a successful day of parenting, I didn’t even argue with her when she picked out a Sofia the First tiara set and flying fairy.

You can’t win them all. But I also love the chain of events our little lesson in entrepreneurship set off. I’ve already heard from two moms that their kids are scheming up their own stands. There even rumblings of a minnow stand.

And does anyone know if one needs a license to sell grown-up boozy snocones? I’m, um, asking for a friend and not at all because that’s what all of my friends were demanding.

Have you ever had any kind of front-yard stand? This was my first as either a kid or adult and it was a blast. What else can we sell? And does anyone want a tadpole? 

I know this comes as a surprise, but I don’t actually know Angie (although I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me using Brad’s nickname for her) but from what I can glean from the interviews I’ve seen with her, I’m sure she relished the chance to finally play the bad girl. A decade after busting up America’s party with its golden couple, she now gets to step into the role of the most famous baby christening crasher in history. Bravo.

Even though I knew I’d be seeing the movie, I wasn’t sure if I could take E. In case you’re just arriving in my little corner of the blog world for the first time (welcome!), I have a 6-year-old fairy/Star Wars/Disney (but-not-so-much-the-princesses) loving girl. The first time she saw the trailer for “Maleficent” she declared she would NEVER see that movie because it looked too scary (yet she’s never once flinched at “Revenge of the Sith.” Go figure). But after seeing it a few more times, she started thinking that maybe she would like to see it.

Typically, I would have just chanced it and taken her to the movies, but this week, I had the opportunity to attend a pre-release screening of the movie on a school night. So, I grabbed my Maleficent-loving and film geek friend Emily and off we went.

The headline? I will absolutely be taking E to see it. The movie is rated PG. There are some violent scenes (more on them in a moment) and a few moments of fright, but frankly, I think the snowmonster scene in “Frozen” is scarier than anything in “Maleficent.” And maybe it’s just me, but I still think the dragon in the original “Sleeping Beauty” and the witch in “Snow White” are way scarier than anything Disney has put out in the past couple decades.

I’m sure she’ll review it on her own blog, but Michelle brought her 8-year-old son and afterwards he told me he didn’t find any of the movie scary, either.

As for the movie itself, is it great? No. It had the potential to be quite good but it just seems to miss in a lot of parts, especially with its supporting cast. The actors are all fine but they’re just not given very much to work with. As Emily wisely pointed out, other than Maleficent, they’re all idiots. And they really bimboed up Emily’s beloved trio of fairies.

I know they’re intended to provide some levity to the film, but I just found them to be painfully vapid and annoying. I like my fairies clever like Tink. Or fierce like Maleficent.

Yes, spoiler alert (which you probably learned in the trailer), Maleficent is also a fairy, but someone stole her wings.

Elle Fanning is quite lovely as Aurora. She has some moments of spunk and to me, is leap years ahead, in terms of girl power, than animated Aurora (sorry Emily’s list), but for the most part, she’s a background accessory. At least her hair seems more fitting with her time, unlike poor Prince Phillip, who is inexplicably sporting Harry Styles’ hairstyle (how have I never realized that his name is just like hairstyle? Is it a nom de plume?). I seriously thought a One Direction member had somehow snagged a role.

Disney has become very self-aware of its own, shall we say, troubled, film history in recent movies. “Maleficent” is no exception. Prince Philip seems mighty uncomfortable with kissing a girl he’s barely met, especially since she’s fast asleep, and it takes a lot of (obnoxious and somewhat offensive) goading from the fairies for him to do the deed. Without giving too much away, let’s just say that the “Frozen” effect is, thankfully, in full effect in this film. I won’t say any more but I predict you’ll see it coming, too.

One final criticism before I move on to the good stuff. There just seems to be a lot of unnecessary violence in this movie. The first battle scene happens quite early in the movie as Maleficent tries to protect her fellow magical creatures’ realm from an invading and attacking greedy human army. There isn’t any blood or gore but it does feature some of the film’s scarier moments thanks to the odd tree creatures that seem to be a cross of the Orcs and Ents (tree creatures) from “Lord of the Rings.” Later in the movie, Maleficent turns her shape-shifting sidekick Diaval into an angry, snarling wolf and that will likely frighten some younger viewers. I was expecting the dragon scenes to be scarier but by that point in the film, the humans are far scarier than any other creature could be.

Speaking of film inspirations, you’re also briefly going to feel like you’re watching “Avatar” when the magical creatures’ kingdom is introduced.

But let’s get back to the good stuff. I love an interesting retelling of a tired old tale. Even knowing going in that Maleficent would quite clearly become a sympathetic figure in this version, I thoroughly enjoyed learning her new story nearly as much as I enjoyed learning about Elphaba’s alternate backstory in “Wicked.” Angie gets to be a fierce fairy with the most glorious film wings since John Travolta’s in “Michael” (OK, maybe I could have worked harder on that comparison; someone else help me out here).

I mean, c’mon. Not only can she make horns looking sexy, she’s ROCKING those wings. Wait until you see her in flight. The wings are spectacular and the story behind how she loses them is heart-breaking and character-changing for our heroine. I’d be hell-bent on vengeance, too!

The real joy in this movie, though, is the many moods of Maleficent. From relishing in her newfound darker side …

… to confronting her own confused feelings towards Aurora …

… it’s impossible to take your eyes off her. Her scenes with her real-life daughter Vivienne as a young Aurora are perfectly precious, and if I were Angie and Brad, I’d have 10 more kids. Better yet — can I get adopted into the Jolie-Pitt clan?

I could just watch the many faces of Angelina all day long. Remember how campy she seemed in The Tourist or Mr. & Mrs. Smith? It was all practice for “Maleficent!”

That’s a good thing, though, because it distracted me from the fact that the movie just can’t quite pull it all together. To be honest, I’m actually more worried that E. will be bored rather than scared. Let’s just keep that between us, though. I don’t want Mal coming after me.

The takeaway? I’ll see it again in theaters with E but sadly, I don’t predict this will be a constant-viewing movie. One plus? After a lifetime of saying it wrong, I now know the proper way to say MaLEFFicent.

Will you see “Maleficent?” Who is your favorite film villain? And what do you think of classic story retellings: love ’em or hate ’em?

Or all of this?

Obviously our very favorite Disney event of the year is Star Wars Weekends at Hollywood Studios. This year, Star Wars Weekends added an extra weekend (which is good for us considering how crazy our May is) and added the event we’ve always dreamed of — Star Wars character dining!

On a recent Sunday, we showed up bright and early at Hollywood Studios for our breakfast with characters from a galaxy far, far away, suited up for our adventure.

Right when you walk into the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theater, you get your first encounter with a character.

Sometimes Boba Fett is here, too, but we were happy for some one-on-one time with the Sith-Lord-formerly-known-as-Ani. Darth Vader was quite touched with my choice of clothing for the event. He couldn’t talk but I sensed that he was thinking, “Impressive. Most impressive.”

After bidding adieu to Vader, we walked into the main dining area. The Sci-Fi Drive-In was bursting with Star Wars gloriousness everywhere you looked.

You’ll have to forgive the photos. If you’ve never been into the Drive-In, it’s pitch-black in there. Frankly, I’m surprised I got as many useable photos as I did. New fancy camera FTW! If only I really knew how to use it.

We settled into our car, ready to see what goodies they’d bring for us to eat.

It didn’t disappoint.

The breakfast is definitely pricey — $47.99 for adults and $29.99 for kids — but it included plenty of food. We started with the (horribly photographed) plate of pastries first, which featured C3PO cupcakes, Vader pastry puffs and Leia bun cinnamon rolls. There was also yogurt parfaits with Yoda-shaped melon; blue Bantha milk and I ordered the Dune Sea as my main dish. It was smoked salmon scrambled eggs, with mushroom potatoes and goat cheese toast. SOOO good. You were able to choose from several options for your appetizer and main course. For dessert, we all got strawberry surprises, which featured little bursting balls of strawberry flavored gel (I think; it was dark).

But mostly, you were there for the character greetings. All of them even signed E’s character signatures book, no matter how challenging it proved to be. Space hands were meant for blasters, not pens.



Stormtroopers are always fun, but we were most excited for one particular bounty hunter: Greedo!

I’m not sure whose photo-bomb is better — the Jawa’s or bitch-face Anakin’s. Yeah, definitely Ani’s.

Speaking of the Jawas, they were far and away the best character interaction. Thanks to the always changing and entertaining big screen, we knew what to expect.

E traded a Jawa one of her pins for a glowing cube.

The jawa spent a lot of time interacting with E and through its (or they he or shes?) sign language, they were able to communicate quite well. They were fast friends after that.

UTINI! UTINI!

Apart from the characters, my favorite part was the clips of the 1970s Star Wars Holiday Special. It was everything.

As hard as it was, we finally had to tear ourselves away from the Galaxy.

On our way out, we saw that the Galaxy’s most feared bounty hunter had finally made an appearance. Thankfully the castmembers let Boba’s biggest fan jump back in line for a quick pick.

I really hope this becomes an annual event. Given the fact that most seatings are fully booked, I’m cautiously optimistic it’ll be back. And maybe next year, there will be a Rebel or two, particularly a certain scruffy nerf-herder. We’ll jut have to make sure to leave the “Han Shot First” shirt at home.

The Star Wars Galactic Dine-In Breakfast is available now through June 15 from 8 to noon. Click here for all the details!

Don’t worry, friends, I haven’t officially quit blogging … yet. I don’t know that it’s coming (and that day may never come) but the days of feeling like I “have” to blog are gone.

Life has just been busy, stressful and yes, at times, great fun, lately. I’m not going to lie — there are days when I’m tempted to just shut the ole bloggy down, but then something happens and I want to run and rant to you all about it. So, have no fear, I’ve been storing up my rants for you. And of course, there are a few of my patented, “A long time ago, in a galaxy far away” posts waiting for you.

For now, here are a few things that have been keeping me from you:

— We went down for the count, many times over (no, not the fleas, although those pesty little bastards aren’t entirely gone, yet)

First E. was pretty sick in March with an ear and upper respiratory infection. Being the kind child she is (and frequent cough-in-Mommy’s facer), I quickly came down with it. Mine joyfully blossomed into acute bronchitis and I’m pretty sure it was pneumonia by the time it finally left my clutches weeks later. And just when I was feeling better, E did something she hasn’t done in years — a major pukefest, ALL OVER HER BED, in the middle of the night. That was fun.

Couple all of that with a painful mole removal that left me with four stitches on my ribcage for three weeks. Know what I never realized before? How many times a day the skin across your ribcage stretches. I can’t believe how much four tiny stitches bothered me, but until they came out, I was in constant discomfort.

I’ve been trying to fight through the pain though and go to Jazzercise at least four, if not five, times a week. That involves me getting up at 4:55 a.m. for 5:30 classes. That means I’m falling asleep by 10 every night. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps me from you.

— The most exciting development is that after 10 years of lusting after one, I’m finally the proud co-owner (with my husband) of a fancy new DSLR.

Thanks to some of my photography friends who helped guide us through the process, we went with a Canon Rebel T5i body and a Tamron 17-50 mm lens. It’s so freakin rad.

Since my last foray into photography was nearly 20 years ago in a freshman PHO 205 class (holla Team Golden Warriors!), I had no clue what I was doing with so many choices. And I lost my old poop sheet long ago (um, hello, why don’t I hear photographers referring to their poop sheets anymore?). So I signed up for a four-week class at Harmon Photo in Orlando.

It was so great. The class met every Tuesday, from 6 to 8:30, and I learned SO much. For the most part, I’m even somewhat comfortable being in the manual settings now. Next month I plan on taking a macro class, too.

We’ve been taking the camera everywhere we can for me to practice. It’s been on a canoe down the Juniper Springs run in Ocala.

Don’t worry, my photography teacher was horrified when I told her, too. But we had it in a super-duty waterproof bag (that floats) and I only took it out on very calm stretches and for a couple minutes at a time.

Yes, seeing a gator a few feet from your fiberglass canoe counts as a calm moment. OK, fine, is this better?

Someone was getting a little tired of posing for shot after shot as I readjusted settings.

I also experimented with it at the Flower and Garden Festival at EPCOT. That was a blast.

And she (are you supposed to name your cameras? Because I’m still brainstorming over a name) came with us to the beach one day.

Why, hello there, little grains of sand.

Don’t judge the pictures too harshly. I’m still experimenting with different settings and I haven’t even bought LightRoom yet, which I know will make my pictures even better. Eventually. One step at a time.

I’m in a bit of a fast-forward mode, though, trying to get up to speed with it because we’re taking E. on her first major international trip this summer — Costa Rica!

We went there on our honeymoon 8 years ago and have been dying to take E. there to experience the country we fell in love with.

I can’t wait for her to experience the pura vida.

As for the camera, the one thing that’s still flummoxing me is organizing the pictures. Obviously each file is huge, so I don’t want them on my computer. I’ve added my first couple batches of photos to my external drive and I’m currently in the slow and painful process of adding them to Flickr. And it’s taking FOOOREEEVVVER. Any tips for managing pics? I need all the advice I can get!

— As we near our summer blackout period, we’ve also been doing to Disney almost every weekend. Somehow, we still haven’t seen the new Festival of Fantasy parade at Magic Kingdom yet and I expect we’re NEVER going to meet Anna and Elsa. But we’ve really been enjoying experimenting with our Magic Bands.

I PROMISE to do a complete post on them soon. See, it’s a good thing I’ve procrastinated doing that. They’ve already changed the system dramatically since we started using them.

But mostly we’ve just been enjoying the semi-quiet of the off-season and hanging with our Disney pals. E. even tried to convince Mickey and Minnie that #kittying is a thing.

And who needs Disney to meet Anna and Elsa. We found a place that not only had no lines but hundreds of Annas and Elsas to choose from — MegaCon 2014! And does Disney offer a Hans? I think not.

It was, um, interesting. Very fun, very geeky and very, very interesting. We also fully got our Star Wars geek on.

And then there was this gloriousness. I don’t know what he was — a Renaissance Vader? Flemenco TIE Fighter Pilot? In any event, I fully approve.

So that’s what’s been going on ’round these parts. What’s new with you?

I’m a firm believer in picking your battles, and most times, clothing just didn’t rise to the top of that list. Of course, there were times when I had to drop the hammer and tell her no, particularly when she opted for shorts and tanks during our Florida “winters” and heavy sweaters during the summer. But sometimes, I lost those battles, too.

When this picture was taken it was about 98 degrees (holla!), with 100 percent humidity, and she was wearing a heavy turtleneck dress. Because, of course.

The day she started wearing uniforms to school, I started crying happy tears. Our mornings got about 1,000 percent easier.

There’s one rule, though, that we’ve never caved on — no bikini bathing suits.

It honestly was something I’d never even considered when we first had our precious daughter until someone gifted us with a teeny tiny two-piece. As soon as I opened it, it felt a bit icky but I wondered if it was just me. Nope, as soon as my husband got home, he immediately said, “Nope. No way. It’s getting returned or given away. She’s NOT wearing that.”

I can’t even remember who bought it for us, but it was very innocent. I think it may have even had a Disney character on it. It just felt wrong, though.

It’s never been an issue. E’s had her picks of Disney suits, two-piece sunshade shirt options and some adorable one-pieces.

For the record, I wish I had that pink ballerina suit.

This year, though, it’s all changed. A couple weeks ago, I came home with a new one-piece Speedo … in DUKE BLUE … for her, and her first reaction was, “Well, Mommy, I kind of like it, but this year, I want a two-piece instead.”

I kept the one-piece but told her I’d start looking around. And this is what’s out there.

The first two are from Justice (no surprise there) and the third one is from Old Navy. And yes, all three come in my daughter’s size, 6.

I finally found a tankini-style suit that I thought she’d like and again, I got a lukewarm reaction.

“No, Mommy, I didn’t want one that covers my belly. I want one that just covers these (pointing to her chest).”

Sigh. Big heavy sigh. Where is she picking this up?

Am I just a prude? Seriously, I want to know. Because there is no way my daughter is wearing a suit like the ones above for some time. I’m no Jessica Simpson.

I want her to love her body and have no fear or shame associated with it. She’s never heard me describe myself or anyone else (well, other than the cat) as fat. I’ve worn two pieces, including a mix of bikinis and tankinis, around her, and I no qualms with her being around older girls and women in them. Hell, half the time, one member of our family is walking around practically naked. We discuss bodies, we discuss being proud of our strong and healthy bodies and we discuss doing things, like eating well and exercising, to make ourselves healthier and stronger.

But bikinis for little girls? That’s just something that doesn’t feel right for us.

From a practical standpoint, that’s just that much more sunscreen I have to wrestle onto her body. And as an avid sand-castle builder, it’s also that much more of her body that’s exposed to the sand as she digs massive holes and gets buried.

But it’s more than that, obviously. I know she doesn’t know the concept of “sexy” yet but I can’t help but think these is her first time wanting to look a certain way. A certain older way. And it scares the shit out of me.

I explained to her, as she kept rolling her tankini top higher and higher on her body, that we can revisit the topic in a couple years, but for the time being, this is the kind of suit that is appropriate for an adventurous 6-year-old like herself.

And yes, I even had to drop the “I’m not Ashley’s mom, I’m your mom” retort when she whined that her friend had a small two-piece. Her teenage years are going to be fun.

I think I’ve mostly appeased her for now. I’m already dreading the summer where we’ll be sure to hang out with her friends in their inevitable two-pieces. Mostly, I’m dreading her making it a situation, forcing me to confront my rule in front of her friends and more importantly, their mothers, my friends.

This, like every other issue having to do with parenting, is totally a judgment and personal call for families to make. I hesitated to even write this because I don’t want to come off as judging other moms. Hell, I’m ALWAYS the first person to share the “moms need to stop judging other moms” posts. And I know you could list 18 things right now that I do as a parent that you would NEVER, ever do.

I guess this is just another example lately of how hard parenting seems to be getting the older E. gets. Every issue just seems to feel as if it has the potential to become a big, ’80s sitcom-style teaching moment. I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this point with E. by making it an issue, but it’s just one of those things I know I need to trust my gut on. Even if it makes my kid temporarily hate my guts.

What’s one parenting decision you’ve struggled to stick to your guns on? Is there a baby/toddler/kid trend that drives you crazy, too?