Momma Needs a Beer

Cheers to Michigan Winter Beer Fest '12!

2012-02-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

I had the luxury of attending Michigan Brewer's Guild Winter Beer Fest this past weekend. I wish I could summarize the entire day in a sentence or two, but you know me, I'm a long-winded fool who loves her beer. Hopefully by the end of my recap of the Michigan Winter Beer Fest, you will be set to purchase tickets for next year's Winter Beer Fest the day they go on sale.

No, really, you totally should.

This year, Winter Beer Fest tickets sold out in a matter of days -- less than 2 weeks.

Over 6,000 people gathered at this year's Winter Beer Fest, and I definitely felt the large crowd at capacity, especially compared to last year. Last year was awesome, but there seemed to be more energy surrounding this year's Winter Beer Fest.

I wish I could've bottled that energy -- it was infectious!

I did manage to snag some fun pictures, both physically & mentally. Well, my cousin-in-law managed to snap more physical pictures (thanks, Mark!!) than me. Hey, you try balancing a beer, a phone or camera, and tokens while standing... try eating while you're at it!

Being surrounded by fellow beer-lovers may sound like a drunken mess... but it wasn't. This is a more mature crowd than you will find at college tailgates not that there's anything wrong with a good college tailgate, but I'm sure you follow.

This crowd loves & respects Michigan craft-beer!

I'm not one for big crowds, but for some reason, the crowd this year made me so excited & giddy. I soaked in every minute and enjoyed every single beer I tasted this year.

So let's start at the very beginning... where the hubs & I stood in line for about 45 min waiting to get in.

Do you see the line forming behind us? I hear it stretched for nearly a mile at one point. It did move very fast though. They checked our IDs in line and stamped our hands. They only had to scan our tickets and hand us tokens and we were through the gate by 1:10p.

We managed to practically run into my cousins (who were lucky enthusiast members and got in an hour early -- we'll be doing that next year) Toni & Mark urged the hubs to run to taste one particular beer from Original Gravity before it ran out: 440 Pepper-Smoker Amber.

While the boys were off -- my cousin Toni & I hit up Shorts for my first round. I tried the Woodmaster, because holy cow, the smell of all the campfires burning within the ballpark was overwhelming. I love the smell of a campfire in the snow. Woodmaster was a pretty good pour. Not my favorite though. My cousin had the Wintertime Fun Ale -- which I think I enjoyed a little more than the Woodmaster.

Honestly, being the organized-dork I am, I had a full list of beers I wanted to try on Saturday, but I never looked at the list. I had intentions to tweet out some favorites to my lovely followers who couldn't join in on the fun, but I didn't want to miss something because my nose was in my phone.

I was just so happy to be there.

Somewhat unrelated side-note: At one point, one random person offered me $150 for my owl-hat. I love that thing... but I asked if they had actually brought in $150 cash, and they said no. Bummer.

We met up with several people over the course of the day -- had a great campfire meeting spot by the Bell's booth. Worked out so well.

But my big surprise of the day was discovering my favorite brewery at Winter Beer Fest...

Yes -- I love going to the HopCat because they have an incredible beer selection. Usually takes the hubs & I awhile to actually choose what we want to drink because of the vast array of breweries they have on tap. But I rarely drink HopCat beer. In fact, I never drank a HopCat pour at the HopCat. But after stopping by the Founders booth for some KBS, the HopCat was a couple tables down, so we hit it up. Between 6 or 7 of us we pretty much tried them all. The Ginger-Slap was one of my favorites of the day, with a little spice, but a nice carmelly finish without being overwhelmingly sweet. But the Heavenly Hedgehog, Oil Rigger and Black Russian were all so good too, I could've hung out at HopCat's table all day and been one happy pussycat.

But what fun would staying in one place be at Winter Beer Fest? So many brews to try, so little time!

Honorable mentions: Dark Horse Winter Warmer (a little spicy and exploding with flavor),

Bell's Sweet Potato Stout (really, as good as it sounds)

VanderMill's Totally Roasted AND Ginger Peach Ciders (yes, you can drink hard-cider at the beer fest too!)

And... from my hometown, Tri-City Brewing's DragonSlayer Barrel Aged Imperial Stout & the Brownhoist Nut Brown.

Those are just the brews the hubs & I managed to highlight so we'd remember.

I went through all of my tokens, and brought extra I had from the last beer fest... I have a few left, but I know I tasted more than 15.

Did I mention there was music -- because dancing off some of the beer, brats & pasties was super fun this year!

But by the time the 5 o'clock hour hit, Momma looked a little like this...

And when I plopped my butt down for the first time in about 6ish hours into our designated driver's car, cozied up next to the hubs, my body immediately crashed. I thankfully did not get sick... between the chill in the air, standing for that long, the energy of the day + really good/strong beer, I was probably lucky I only passed out.

I'd do it all over in a heartbeat... and I will next year.

Cheers to all of you who joined in on the fun, and to those of you who were there in spirit!

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

2012-02-28T15:22:00.001-05:00

Yes, I realize I haven't been posting as often as I usually do, but I am doing my best... and you deserve to know a few of the following tidbits...

I'm doing a lot of work behind the scenes right now. A switch to WordPress should be happening any day. This won't change much for you: my kick-ass readers, but it's been a little more work than I thought. I've also been trying to keep up with my fellow writers, socializing via twitter, FB and commenting on other blogs when I can. Before I blogged, I never realized just how much work goes into a blog that you never see/read.
I'm doing a lot of work on ME right now. Yes, writing has been an excellent form of therapy... but I recently decided that I need a deeper form of therapy at the moment. If you've been following me so far this year, you've probably noticed that I blew a bit of a funny-fuse due to recent events and I'm anxious to find humor in life again!
You miss my posts & updates?

I am just an email away: mommaneedsabeer {at} gmail {dot} com. Ask me anything!
Subscribe to the RSS feed so you don't miss a beat when I do start posting regularly again. I will not spam you. If I don't post, you won't get email from me. I am not a daily poster, but still plan to post 2-3 times/week once I get back into the swing of things. If you saw my most recent post about unsubscribing -- that's still way less email than Victoria's Secret will send you. #thereIsaidit

A Winter Beer Fest recap is in the works. I know many of you are anxious to hear about the fun I had this past weekend and what my favorite brews and/or brewery were (it may surprise you -- it surprised me!!!) Hoping to post by Thirsty Thursday!!
My very first Twitter party is also coming soon... *bites nails* This is another excellent reason to subscribe via email. You won't want to miss this!
While I'm on the topic of Twitter...
You can still find me on Twitter, Pinterest & FB even on days I don't post.
You can also find me being a little more active... *gasp* away from my computer. Yup. I have no problem with people pinning or tweeting the day away, but I've learned that I, personally, have to set a timer, or I turn into a Momma-monster and the rest of my day is shot to hell. I've finally realized that I need moderation in all aspects of my life -- not just when it comes to food.
that being said...
*DRUMROLL*
A face-to-face beer-lovers meet-up in Grand Rapids, Michigan is in the works this summer! Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons... Oh sorry, do you have that tune in your head now too?! One of the many things I've been pulling my hair out over has been planning my now defunct Girls Like Beer Too party for BlogHer '12. Waah-waaaaaaaaah. Our finances are in the shitter. I can not afford a trip to NYC right now, let alone the overhead costs of throwing a party there. I dream big. I may be able to swing Type A, but they have strict policies regarding parties outside of the conference venue. Thing is, the planning & connections I did produce over the last few months sparked the interest I was hoping for, just not the funds. I do believe if I kept things local, it could happen. This party would ideally be open to all beer lovers, not just bloggers... Stay tuned!

I know that many of these changes will help make me a better person overall, and my blog a much more fun and enjoyable place for all of you. Thanks for being the supportive & generally awesome audience you are... Cheers to you, friends!!!

Unsubscribe + Delete = Liberation.

2012-02-21T16:29:00.001-05:00

Confession: I am terrible at keeping up with my inbox.

Awful.

As in, this morning, I had 14,000 emails... 8,000 unread.

Whether they were filed, labeled, spam or whathaveyou, this is what happens when gmail allows you to have unlimited storage: complete chaos!

Today, the hubs & I met with a counselor about our debt. It was eye-opening, exhausting and heart-wrenching.
The thing is, I feel like we will actually do something about it this time. We're focused and determined to make things work. It won't be easy, but getting help is a huge step in a positive direction.

But when I came home & looked at the thousands of unread emails in my inbox, my anxiety sunk in again. I knew that simplification had to start somewhere. If we wanted to delete our debt, I needed to start deleting some email.

So I started searching & deleting many "shops" that send me their latest "deals" most of these emails I rarely even read, let alone shop at. Once I got off on deleting hundreds of messages at a time, I decided that I should actually click into that Kohl's email and hit unsubscribe. Costco? How the hell did I get on that list? I'm not even a member there. Unsubscribe. Pottery Barn Kids? Uh, yeah, like we've ever afforded any of that shit! Unsubscribe. Victoria's Secret too... if we're going to follow through & pinch pennies, I definitely don't need anything from VS either. Unsubscribe. Oprah? Sorry girl, I love ya, but weekly emails I rarely read? Unsubscribe.

You get the idea.

It was a trend that trickled down to my personal emails and is still a work-in-progress. So far, I'm loving the liberated feeling having cut my inbox in half -- yes -- 6,000+ emails have been deleted in just an hour's time. Yup. I'm hoping to get down to an even more reasonable number soon.

I suppose I can add the word "Simplify" to my words of the day as well. Because I'm really enjoying this feeling of liberation. You should try it too.

What's the scary number of emails in your inbox? Or do you have tips for helping me keep my inbox number down?

Raising an Advanced Reader

2012-02-16T09:51:00.002-05:00

My oldest has been reading since she was 4 years old.

It was one of those things that happened like a switch.

Which was very odd to me, since most of my experiences raising my oldest were a struggle up until that point -- *nothing* happened like a switch. Potty training, weaning off a pacifier, travelling, eating veggies, blah blah blah, need I go on? I'd hear about potty training or weaning just happening one day, like a switch. And I'd just stare at those moms with envy, convinced they were full of bullshit... What's this switch you speak of?

When we first realized Natalie was reading, it was sporadic street signs in the car. We figured she was simply reading sight-words. Like her passion for art & space I wrote about recently, my daughter has found reading to be something that comes very easy to her. It developed very quickly, and once we witnessed her reading full Dr Seuss books & beyond without struggle, we knew we had a reader on her hands. Natalie's Kindergarten teachers were thrilled Natalie could read to her peers, but Natalie wasn't always willing to do so. She seemed to enjoy the solidarity reading provides and quickly learned how to read to herself, which, honestly, probably pissed some of her friends off.

Now in 1st Grade, Natalie is reading at around a 7th grade level. She read Charlotte's Web & The Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe in a week, respectively. I'm thinking a Harry Potter book might be a fun challenge for her to read on our upcoming plane-ride to Florida. It's pretty incredible. If there was a gifted program at the school we're sending her to, she would be in it. Since that isn't an option right now, Natalie's teacher has been challenging her with special books & assignments to enrich her comprehension skills.

So how did we do it? How did we turn into these awesome parents that raised such a kick-ass reader? I wish I could say we are avid readers and she just absorbed our incredible reading skills. But, no. I'm a speed-reader and if I don't enjoy a book within the first chapter or two, I bail. The hubs is a very slow reader -- he loves books, but just doesn't have the time to read them. My dad on the other hand? He's a reader. Always seems to have a book or 5 going. My daughters don't see their Grandpa reading though. It could be in their genes of course. However, I do believe a few subtle things we did since Natalie was born could help you raise a future reader.

Read to your baby. Read to your child.
Yes, this seems to be common knowledge these days. Reading to your child daily is what every pediatrician, teacher, librarian, mother, etc will tell you is the most important thing you can do. Every night before bed, we would read a book to Natalie for the first few years of her life... basically until she could read on her own.
Have a variety of books available, and in reach for your child.
Nothing against libraries, but hit up sales and invest in books of various levels & topics, encourage friends & families to purchase a book whenever they give your children gifts. Then, have a bookshelf available in the room you hang out in the most. In our house -- it's our family room. We don't have a ton of toys in our family room, but we have had an art table and a bookshelf full of books since Natalie was a baby. As soon as she could walk, the bookshelf was her go-to play spot. Whether she would just pull off all the books (and believe me, she did) or open each book one by one, or ~~annoyingly~~ throw random books at us to read to her... the availability of books helped nurture her love of reading.
Use closed-captioning on your TVs.
Let's face it, kids love TV -- and will usually choose TV over reading if given a choice. I fought getting a DVD player in the car, but when travelling became a ginormous bitch, the DVD became our savior. You know what else was our savior? Turning on the closed-captioning. My kds are watching their annoying shows, but guess what? They are reading! Voila! Guilt-be-dammed!
Reward your children with books instead of toys & candy.
When I go shopping, and we aren't scraping bottom in our bank account, I usually treat myself with something unnecessary. A treat -- like a fun scarf or a cute pair of sunglasses, sometimes a good cheese or a yummy beer or wine I don't normally splurge on. My kids have gotten into this as well. I know it's not the healthiest thing for the budget, but I do try to keep the "special thing" under $10. Ya know what works really well? Books instead of candy or a stupid toy they'll forget about in 24 hours. I wish I was more consistant with this, especially with my 2nd child.
If your child enjoys movies, encourage them to read the book first.
Natalie recently read about the Titanic in a Magic Tree House book. She was way into it. (see what I mean about variety?!) How old was I when the movie Titanic came out? 19. Yup. I was one of those girls who saw the movie in the theater multiple times... which amazed my daughter. I'm looking forward to sharing that movie with her. She's more excited about seeing the footage of the sunken ship. Yup. My kid's a nerd. I love it.
Take your children to the library.
Sometimes my kids just like to go to the library to play, but that's ok. They are surrounded by books, they are being active, and they are out of the house. Chances are, at some point, they will see a book that makes them smile, and they will want to read it.
Talk to your children about the books they are reading.
If your child is reading on their own, try to familiarize yourself with the book and ask questions about the book to be sure they are actually comprehending it. I worried about some of the big words that she may not understand, and then gloss over... but Natalie has surprised me at how well she is absorbing the somewhat challenging books she is reading.
Allow your advanced reader to read in bed.
Once Natalie started to read on her own, we started tucking her into bed with a book-light, allowing her to read, on her own, as much as she'd like, until she's ready to sleep. This gives her quiet time alone in her room, and the freedom to read at her own pace. This also teaches her a little about trust. I can see if her light is still on in her room, even with her door closed, but 99% of the time, her lights are out about 20-30 min after we say goodnight.

Unlike art & space-themed projects, reading is a gift that needs to be constantly nurtured & challenged, without being pushed too hard or causing boredom. It's a fine line. There are so many books available for kids, so having a variety of levels & topics available will make a difference. Go at your child's pace, but providing plenty of subtle learning opportunities will help them excel!

Momma's Guide to the Michigan Winter Beer Fest

2012-02-10T08:33:00.002-05:00

Do you have tickets to the 7th Annual Michigan Brewers Guild Winter Beer Festival here in Grand Rapids, MI? Congrats!! The Beer Fest tickets sold out in record time this year -- if you have a ticket, consider yourself lucky.

What's that?

You've never been to a Winter Beer Fest before?

You are even luckier, because I attended last year and can hold your hand and maybe even share a toast with you there... CHEERS!

First step of preparation?
Hangover prevention.
I highly recommend revisiting my post on 11 Ways To Avoid A Hangover. Yes, there are many ways you can avoid hangovers. Do your best to drink plenty of water at least 24 hours before you catch a ride to the beer fest.
Transportation. The Michigan Winter Beer Fest welcomes designated drivers for a $5 entrance fee. DDs will not receive tokens, so no beer, but the food, entertainment & general feeling of community makes it so fun, I do believe I'd attend as a DD if I was pregnant (don't go getting any ideas, pretty certain that ship has sailed) If you do not have a designated driver, I have other options for you:

Grand Rapids Cab companies

Calder City Taxi (616) 454-8080
Yellow Cab (616) 459-4646
Metro Cab (616) 827-6500

GR Hopper

(616) 6060-HOP

What do I wear?
Whether you're a guy or gal -- this is a very important step in the preparation process. One rule to always remember: This is an outdoor event in the dead of winter. The guys outnumber the girls 5:1. Therefore, not much of a fashion show. Yes guys, we don't dress for you, we dress for each other. Secret's out. If you have a cute little coat you love, but isn't very warm, keep it home. On the other hand, if you have an adorable, but warm hat -- wear it!! With that in mind...

Dress like you're going skiing. I even saw a few people wearing ski-goggles last year. I think that's a little extreme, but you get the idea. Snowpants, boots, maybe even long-underwear. Waterproof ski-gloves or mittens make excellent beer-koozies!
Dress for the porta-jons. Keep in mind, that you will be drinking about 15 "tastes" of beer. You're gonna need to use the [nasty] porta-jons at some point during the day. Bibs may not be the best idea (unless you're a dude). Snowpants that are easy to pull on & off are ideal.
Comfort is key, from head to toe. Like I said, this isn't a fashion show. Just like that adorable coat you'll be trading in for your ski-jacket, make sure your boots are waterproof and comfortable. I saw a couple of ~~morons~~ girls taking off their little flats to warm their pretty shoes & tiny feet by one of the many firepits the last couple hours of the fest. They were miserable. You'll generally be standing in line for beer, so keep that in mind when you choose your footwear. Last year, I had on super warm boots, and my feet still got chilly.

What do I bring?

ID. They need to know you're 21, and legal to drink beer.
Ticket. This Festival has been sold out for months. If you don't bring your ticket, you will not get in.
Tokens. If you have been to a Michigan Beer Festival and have tokens left over, you can use them here. You will receive 15 tokens with a cup when you arrive. Each token will get you a 3oz sample. You can purchase more tokens for $0.50 each if you desire.
Folding chairs. This is much different from the Summer Beer Fest, but chairs are welcome. There will be several firepits & heaters to gather your chairs around.
Food, if desired. There is winter-friendly food available from vendors, like turkey-legs, pasties, brats, etc. But you can bring in your own food if you wish.

What will I drink?
There is a handy list with new brews popping up daily on Michigan Brewing Guild's Blog.

Print out that list, or note it into your iPhone, or at least have a list of beers you absolutely MUST try (with the brewery noted) and hit them up first. The good beer will run out fast. 6000 Beer enthusiasts. 300 Different beers. You do the math. Boy was I disappointed when I went back for 2nds on Short's Carrot Cake Ale last year.
There is something for everyone. If you're not *gasp* a big beer drinker, there are ciders as well as a variety of flavored beer, like That Cotton Pickin Beer (cotton candy beer)
Bourbon Barrel 666 (sarsaparilla vanilla stout) available at Dark Horse along with several other yummy options listed.
This is a good opportunity to expand your pallat. I'm not a big hoppy-beer lover, but if it's a favorite of others, I will almost always try 1 hoppy-beer; I usually hate it, but damn it, I tried.
I must re-emphasize the importance of hitting up the most interesting breweries first... and if you love what you taste, get in line for another round. Trust me.

Miscellaneous...

Pretzel Necklaces. Yes, this deserves a bullet-point all it's own. I made a couple of these fun treats last winter. If you are in line after line, drinking and talking and toasting... you're going to need something to munch on.

String a few pretzels and/or funyons, donuts, life-savers, seriously, anything with a hole in it. And Voila! Pretzel necklace = hangover savior.
Here's the downside to Pretzel necklaces at the Winter Beer Fest: If it snows like it did last year, your pretzels will turn into a soggy mess. You may not give a shit by the end of the festival, but... If you would like to make a pretzel necklace, keep that in mind and wear it on the inside of your jacket. You're welcome.

The Line.

The line to get in will be long for the first hour or two after the festival opens at 1p. It moves fast. Just be patient. Check in with your iPhone. If you tweet, the hashtag will be #WinterBeerFest.

Water.

Bring it.

Kids.

Leave them with a sitter.

Sex.

Good luck.

I think that about covers it!

If you have any further questions about the Michigan Brewers Guild Winter Beer Fest, please feel free to shoot me out an email or tweet.

CHEERS!!!

Turning I Can't into I CAN!

2012-02-07T07:58:00.001-05:00

My 7 year old loves space... and art. She's a very unique kid.

Like many kids her age, she loves to draw and is discovering the awesome world of Star Wars, but her love of art & space started years ago. I don't even know what sparked it.

Sometimes I feel we are driven by something deeper than our environment or genes. We simply feel passionate about one thing or another for reasons we can't really explain.

Growing up, I had big dreams. The biggest was to perform in a Broadway musical. Yes, I probably was a little like Rachel Berry in high school. Hopefully less annoying, but I know I definitely had my moments; I wasn't perfect, I was a teenager with dreams, dammit!

The problem with my big dream? My mother didn't support my dreams. She didn't think I was good enough. I heard the words "You can't..." way more often than "You can do it!"

The only people I had pushing me were external forces. And even then, these forces weren't necessarily pushing me. They just happened to believe in me, and respected my passion & dreams, which helped fuel them, pushing me toward success. My choir teacher was incredible. One afternoon in her office, when I was struggling with the big question you face as a high school student... what's next? What should I be when I grow up? My choir teacher answered without a beat, telling me that she has witnessed how driven I am and that she sees me excelling at anything I put my mind to, in any job position - whether that was a Mom, teacher, a Broadway star, whathaveyou.

Maybe a teacher's job is to guide them in whatever direction their passion allows. Whether she turned around and told a below-average student the same, I'll never know. What I do know is that the above statement helped me through some pretty tough times. My choir teacher probably doesn't even remember telling me that, but I will never forget it.

I grew up with a controlling mother and a father who was struggling in a marriage he wanted to escape... doing his best to maintain some level of balance. As the oldest of 4 kids, I was the first pancake and therefore, not perfect -- even though my mother expected perfection from me. She pushed me in math, telling me that I was so good at math. Maybe if she told me that enough, I would've became a math teacher? I don't know. I barely kept my head above water in my advanced math classes, but, it was the only thing my mother thought I could do, so I had to excel, yes?

Nope.

I like math, don't get me wrong, but it certainly isn't my passion.

Any passion I had for things outside of my mother's comfort-zone were either ignored or pushed down, only the negative was seen in me (and sadly, still is). I'd receive awards or perform in a concert or musical, and afterward she'd list what she thought I screwed up instead of simply telling me how amazing I was. And dammit, I know I didn't suck as bad as she made me feel. Thankfully, the innate passion I felt for performing got me through. I learned to ignore her remarks, found ways to get her out of my head, and in the meantime, made some incredible friends in choir -- one of my best friends to this day I met my senior, her junior year in our select ensemble choir of 18 girls. I don't know if I would've met her without that class. I also found my way to a summer community theatre troupe... where I met the hubs in the musical Gypsy nearly 17 years ago. And the rest, as they say, is history.

The history lesson I'm learning today is one of my biggest fears as a parent: turning into my mother. I don't want my kids to hear only negativity coming from me. Yet, when my youngest struggles to find the motivation to do her homework, I hear my mother's frustrated voice escape out of my mouth so fast I can practically see the words fall out, making me want to grab and stomp all over them.

It gives me chills like nothing else... which is a good motivator to walk away and breathe.

My youngest has been a little behind since we took a week off to grieve for the loss of my niece. We're still playing catch up, which is frustrating for all of us. But, my daughter's 1st grade teacher believes in her, and is flexible. She gave Natalie a special assignment -- since she's reading at around a 7th grade level, she found a space book with an enrichment packet, but this has overwhelmed Natalie. I try to tell her "You can do this!" but she doesn't hear it. She, like my mother, is only seeing the negative, the work involved, and tells me she "can't" and wants to do something else. We go back and forth -- I pull my hair out, feeling I'm raising my mother, until... low & behold, she discovers she CAN do it. I tell her she can do anything!

My daughter dreams of becoming an astronaut... while that dream may be an even a tougher dream to realize than me performing on a Broadway stage, I refuse to conform. And although Natalie has many of my mother's perfectionist & controlling traits, she is also realist, always questioning what is real & what is fantasy. I refuse to allow her to give up, I help her to understand that mistakes are ok, and how we learn... but most of all, I encourage her to dream, and to dream BIG.

As Natalie gets older, her dreams will develop, and the hubs & I will do our best to support them. I refuse to become my mother, ignoring her dreams, or worse, telling her she can't do one thing or another. There are many areas of science she could get into. Maybe her love of drawing will lead her to become an architect, or run an art studio. Maybe she will do something else entirely. Whatever my daughters decide to do with their lives, I know they will excel at... like my choir teacher told me, I will tell both of my children. It's a statement that got me through some very dark days.

I may not have ended up on a Broadway stage, but I still fulfill my passion for music, performing when I can, usually with the hubs in our living room to the shores of Lake Michigan to church. I also have surprised myself, uncovering my passion for writing, discovering just how therapeutic writing can be... now I get paid to write.

I can do anything. So can you. Let your passion be your guide.

Adventures in Reality

2012-02-02T14:17:00.001-05:00

Source: fuckyeahroseanne.tumblr.com via Kelli on Pinterest

My favorite sitcom of all-time is Roseanne... and this scene cracks me up at how true-to-life it is. I actually experienced a couple of very similar conversations in the hours after Delaney passed away... one of which was with an Aunt, who was driving to Key West at the time, so she had a really hard time hearing me. At the time, I didn't think much of it, but the similarities are spot-on-hilarious.

After dealing with a few of those dreaded laughter not included conversations, I had to get out of the house. When anyone I love passes away, I seem to feel instantly claustrophobic. Over the years, there have been a few deaths that have sent me to the beach on Lake Michigan. My love affair with that body of water helps me center myself again, just sitting in the sand, hearing the waves and breathing. Of course, the death of my 9-month old niece in the winter... with 2 little ones of my own to consider, wasn't going to send us to the beach this time.

So the hubs & I grabbed the kiddos and just started driving.

After a little time in the car, we ended up on the northeast side of town and decided to grab a little happy-hour grub at a restaurant that shall remain nameless to protect the innocent Momma involved. Oh yes... reality is coming. Because, when it rains it pours... and little did we know that -- spoiler alert -- Sedona was sick. When we pulled her out of her carseat, she had that look, told us her tummy hurt, and I questioned even going into the restaurant. Still numb from the day's events so far, we decided to go in anyway. We ordered, got our cheap happy hour eats & $2 cosmos and Sedona asked to go to the bathroom with the hubs. Natalie & I stayed at the booth, watched a little football and ate.

Little did I know: this was the calm before a big ugly storm.

The hubs came back with Sedona, and he wanted a chance to eat, so he handed Sedona to me... and it was like Clean-up on Aisle 9 all over again. As the hubs handed our 3yo to me, as if in slow-motion, she proceeded to projectile vomit all over me, the floor, the table, the chair... and all the way to the bathroom, we were thankfully seated close to.

Oh yeah. Reality is SUPER, thanks for asking!

I cleaned up as best as I could, got back to the table, where the hubs & Natalie were waiting for me, food packaged up, bill paid. We made it home in one piece, gave Sedona a zofran, and she was ok.

Until...

The next day, we tried to figure out our plan for going to Detroit for Delaney's arrangements. I pulled my hair out trying to find an affordable hotel (damn you Auto Show for bumping up the prices of hotels... geesh!) The girls lounged around the house, and then... the walls were caving in on me again; I needed to get the hell out of my house! Sedona was done throwing up, but it was coming out the other end, so we knew any time outside of the house had to be quick, or within knowing distance of a bathroom. I wanted to pick up something special for my sister & her family, so we stopped at a local gift shop we love.

I can't mention which local store because I don't believe I'm welcome there anymore either.

Uh-huh...

As I'm checking out, Natalie starts complaining about her stomach. And then... she vomited all over the carpeted floor, right in front of someone who I believe was the owner of the store. The look of death from her eyes practically burned a hole into my head it was so piercing. What the hell was I supposed to do though? I had two sick kids now, I was just getting over mono myself... and I was completely numb from the loss of my niece. I almost forced the owner to read the sympathy card & ceramic angel while sobbing all over the pile of vomit, now soaking into the carpeted floor. Instead, I apologized as I signed my bill and ran out of there so fast, flames were shooting out of my heels.

My family headed home, and we managed to get both girls in bed by 7p. Yes, you read that correctly, both girls were in bed by 7p!! They were siiiiiiick. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to head to Detroit in the morning, there was no way I was going to miss being there for my sister & with my extended family & friends. So I had to pack while watching the Michigan/Michigan State basketball game... that the Spartans lost by ONE point. Could this day get any worse?

Yup. It could.

9p: we hear Sedona crying.

The hubs goes up to check on her, and I immediately hear "KEL! I NEED YOU UP HERE!" I go up to find Sedona, her jammies, bed, all of it, covered in diarrhea. I snapped into fix-it mode, sent the hubs to the bathroom with Sedona to strip her down & hose her off while I stripped her bed and remade it.

I was like a flippin' machine.

The hubs came back with a freshly clean, but still very tired, sick & cranky 3yo. He couldn't believe I remade the bed so fast. I couldn't believe he got Sedona taken care of on his own. Guess we make a good team! We put a fresh pair of jammies on Sedona... and a pull-up (which I'm still crazy-amazed I found earlier that day) and Sedona went right back to sleep.

The hubs & I went back downstairs, threw the bedding into the wash with a sigh of relief.

That didn't last long.

We hadn't even kicked up the footrests in our respective recliners when we heard the insanely loud screams of our 7yo. Damn, that girl has some pipes. Pretty sure we both sighed fuuuuuck at the same time. And yes, it was warranted. Natalie's zofran must've worn off because she vomited all over herself, jammies, bed, all of it. Once again, the hubs took Natalie to hose her off while I stripped & remade the bed. Got Natalie back into a fresh pair of jammies and put her back to bed.

We went downstairs, back to our family room, and I looked out the window to see 3 cop-cars 2 houses down... and 2 cops walking around with flashlights in our neighbor's yard. What... the... fuck?!?! At this point, I was fully expecting to wake up from this nightmare. This had to be a bad dream, right?

Instead, I burst into laughter. Because... what the hell else could we possibly do? I was out of tears!

My neighbor informed us that there was a break-in, and they caught the ~~douche-bags~~ teens, thanks to their footprints in the snow. YAY! Good news!!

The hubs & I decided not to test the fates any longer, we were in bed at 10p instead of staying up until our usual 11-11:30p bedtime -- we didn't know if the girls would get sick again, but we just wanted to prepare for anything, since that was the way the week was going.

We were right, one of the girls was going to get sick again...

ME!!!

Around midnight, I woke up with a terrible stomach cramp. I sat up in bed, and knew... just KNEW it was my turn. I stumbled to the bathroom so loudly, the hubs woke out of his deep-snore-induced sleep and worried about me because I was so out of it... he almost called 911 because my eyes kept rolling back into my head, I could barely get my head over the toilet; it was crazy how fast it came on! As I bent down to throw up in the toilet, I realized it was coming out the other end. No... wait... it was coming out both ends, at the same time. Sat on the toilet while I puked in the sink. Thank goodness for zofran, because even though my stomach was still rotten for the next few days, I never puked again.

The next day, we drove east for my niece's visitation. It was a scary trip... we weren't sure if any of us would make it without needing to stop, but we brought a bucket, just in case... and we all made it. The hubs got hit the day of Delaney's funeral. As soon as he said his stomach was bothering him, I gave him a zofran and he suffered, but never vomited. Phew.

The sickness was insane, but it was very quick -- it came on quick, and left pretty quick too. Not that we needed that extra dose of shitastic reality, but hey, we were already having the worst week of our life, what could make it worse, really? May as well get it all out in one shot, right? We were so numb that week, in a way, it was almost a blessing that it didn't happen a week later, because I don't know if I would've been able to mentally handle it. On top of all this, my cousin Toni's mother passed away after a battle with cancer the day after Delaney's funeral. Terrible week. Just awful.

But hey, now I can say that I've gotten the worst week of my life done & over with, so the rest of my life will be nothing short of awesome. Bring it!

Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

2012-01-31T17:56:00.001-05:00

Do you have certain people in your life you just wish you could live around the corner from?

I've learned to accept most things in life, but I think that's among the hardest. When reality takes your close friend or family member to another city/state/country, and the friendship requires much more effort to remain connected. It can be frustrating when it takes more than an hour or two drive to simply hug some of your favorite people... especially when you're going through a difficult time in your life.

When you have kids, the challenge of keeping up with relationships outside of your 2000 sq ft home become even greater. Then, something, dare I say... crazy-awesome happens, or at least it feels crazy when you have an opportunity to break out of your ~~jail~~ house. You make a date to get together with your old friend or beloved family member and actually follow through. You finally connect and it's like no time has passed at all. Sometimes, you simply trade stories on the phone for an hour or two and don't realize any time has passed at all.

Although I wish I could create a "neighborhood" full of my favorite people, I'm so grateful for the friends & family I have all over the world. Especially those of you who have gone out of your way to reach out to me through phone calls, facebook, twitter, emails, comments on here, texts... seriously. I even appreciate the texts. Trust me, I'm a Momma on the go, sometimes texting is all I have! Just as I typed this, I received a text from my wireless provider telling me I've gone over my allotted texts for the month. Shocker.

It's been over 2 weeks since my sweet little Tenacious D passed away, and we are still taking every day as it comes, trying our best to get back to whatever normal is. It kinda sucks. Some days are definitely more difficult than others. I look forward to the day I can take a shower without completely breaking down. Then again, I do leave my shower feeling a little more refreshed after my big cry. So who knows. There's no real handbook to grief. Everyone handles it in their own way.

One of my friends said it best last week: "I think this is the hardest part, when reality is knocking and the world still continues to spin." One of my cousins also shared a very wise statement about putting on my big-girl panties and finding the happy in order to move forward.

These are among the people I wish I lived around the corner from! Those above statements help on so many levels.

To quote the Richard Bach book There's No Such Place As Far Away: "Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?"

I feel so close to many of you, some of you I haven't seen in years or even met in person... and I have definitely felt the love, support & friendship across many miles. Like the angels in my heart, my living friends & family are in there too. Yes, a neighborhood full of my favorite people would be nice, but I need to remember that I have a heart full of loved ones. I hope that the people who have connected with me & my family over the last 10 months know that they will be embraced by me for a long time to come. Those who haven't... well, they may not deserve to live in my neighborhood. #thereIsaidit As tough as that is... sometimes, you need experiences like this in order to sift through and cleanse. Life is too short to be wasting your life wondering where or why this or that person seemed to stop giving a shit. Instead, I will cherish all the amazing people I do have in my life. Because ya know what? Moments like this uncover the best in people too, and I have been incredibly blessed & lucky to have people like you -- yes, YOU -- in my life.

Good riddance, January 2012. Cheers to a Fantastic February!!

Art Therapy

2012-01-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

As my family tries to get back to whatever "normal" is today, I wanted to share a piece of art my 7 year old created, all on her own, for her cousin's Memorial events last week. Natalie loves art and truly enjoys creating art much more than coloring in pre-drawn pictures in coloring books. Natalie will create several pictures a day, and, although I am obviously biased, she is an incredible artist.

When Natalie handed me this piece of art last week, I was still very raw from losing my niece Delaney. I burst into tears out of sadness... and pride. I am so proud of my daughter for how mature & genuine she has been dealing with this very difficult situation.

Sometimes a little art therapy goes a long way, touching many hearts along the way...

Tribute...

2012-01-16T12:12:00.002-05:00

To know her was to love her.

Although I have several nieces & nephews on my husband's side of the family, on March 22nd, 2011, my sister gave birth to the first niece I was related to by blood, Delaney Rose.

I was a very proud Aunt.

4 days after Delaney Rose was born, my family of four traveled across the state to meet our niece/cousin for the first time. I could hardly contain my excitement! My girls were also excited to meet & hold another baby cousin. Delaney was wide awake for the first couple hours we visited, she looked directly into our eyes and I felt in my heart that she was an old soul. The depth of emotions in such a new life was surreal.

A few hours after we arrived, Delaney fell asleep on the hubs' chest.

So sweet... <3

As we left my sister's home that day... we felt so lucky that we could spend those hours together. Little did we know... that day was the only time we would have with the sweet, bright baby girl we knew.

That phenomenal day left a baby-sized handprint on my heart I will always carry with me, just like the day I experienced connecting with my baby nephew 8 1/2 years ago.

3 weeks later, Delaney went into cardiac arrest due to three (two undetected) defects in her heart and suffered massive brain damage.

After 10 days in the NICU, Delaney was released from the hospital and placed on home-care hospice. There was nothing more the hospital could do for my niece. Delaney could not suck, spit-up, swallow, see, hear... among so many other challenges. My sister & brother-in-law's life changed dramatically.

We had no idea what the next week, month, or even the next day would bring... but my little niece didn't give up without a fight. In light of my sister & brother-in-law calling each other by their first initials, I started calling my niece "Tenacious D". Yes, I'm a big fan of the band... but my niece fit this nickname so perfectly, it was indeed a Tribute in more ways that one.

Over the next 8 months, my niece taught us just how extraordinary the gift of tenacity could be... as well as the importance of:

love

health

patience

strength

empathy

kindness

peace

friendship

family

community

and embracing every moment of life we have with our whole heart.

Yesterday afternoon, our little Tenacious D's fight on earth ended...

As tragic as this situation is, Delaney touched the lives of so many people over her short life. I truly believe that my niece has been given the most radiant wings as she is greeted by angels, young & old I already know are in heaven.

My little Tenacious D will always remain a part of my soul and in my heart. Delaney's life will be a constant reminder to embrace my own children as well as the people I love: family, old friends, new friends and even people I never would've known without my niece... a little tighter.

I hope my niece's short life can inspire you to do the same.

Peace.

Flowchart: Does Momma Need a Beer?

2012-01-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

Cheers to all of you on this Thirsty Thursday!!

Sometimes, ya gotta put a little alcohol on it, especially when you're a hard-workin' Momma.

Today, I've created a flowchart to help illustrate just when you may need a beer...

Does Momma Need a Beer?

Have you checked out my complete collection of Thirsty Thursday posts?

You can read all of my Thirsty Thursday posts anytime!
I just created a new page with it's very own "Thirsty Thursday" tab above!
I'm so nerdy today, huh?

5 Depressing Movies About Love

2012-01-09T09:00:00.016-05:00

As I maximize the amount of rest I get so I can get over this stupid mono bullshit, I spent a lot of time in bed this weekend. Since I can't drink... *sigh* and let's face it, can't physically sleep for 48 hours straight, in between football games (moment of silence for my Lions, please!) I've been watching crap-tv looking at you, I didn't know I was pregnant and movies.

Sunday morning, I wavered between going back to sleep and watching a movie. I scrolled through my OnDemand choices and made the mistake of getting excited to see Blue Valentine playing on Showtime.

Mistake?

Yes, that's right, I said mistake.

Why I love me some Ryan Gosling & Michelle Williams, the movie Blue Valentine completely bummed me out!! I could've, and maybe should've shut it off -- or gone back to sleep -- but since the movie did a bunch of flashbacks & time-jumps, the rom-com lover in me was anxious for some level of a resolution - whether the couple remained together or not.

I realize rom-coms aren't realistic.

Life happens, and it certainly doesn't end with a couple driving off into the sunset, living happily ever after.

Realistically speaking, certain couples aren't meant to be together; just because one gal may be good for a guy, the guy may not necessarily be good for the gal. I respect that Blue Valentine was trying to illustrate that... but it didn't like it.

Made me think back on other movies that, going in, I hoped would at least have glimpses of an uplifting romance, some of these even advertised the pseudo-romantic moments in previews to reduce the depressing tone! But the movies I'm about to list only left me feeling anxious, drained of life... and wanting those 2 hours back. I suppose I should give you a spoiler alert... but let's be honest here; my real warning? If you haven't seen these flicks: this is not a list of "recommendations." Pop a couple klonopin & read on...

Leaving Las Vegas. My first clue that this movie would be bad should've been Nicolas Cage, but then again, he hadn't made a bunch of Cameron Poe clones yet, so how was I supposed to know that he'd remain a depressing alcoholic and Elisabeth Shue would remain a prostitute? I don't need perfection, but the movie didn't go anywhere, and I could've easily walked out after I finished my bucket of over-buttered popcorn and wouldn't have missed much. I still don't understand how Nic Cage ~~robbed~~ won an Oscar for this shit... over Richard Dreyfuss in Mr Holland's Opus (LOVE!!!) & Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking?! And shut the front door, Mel Gibson wasn't even nominated for his acting role in Braveheart? WTF?!
When A Man Loves A Woman. I went into this movie thinking I'd see Sally or Annie from When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle, respectively... instead I got a very dark, alcoholic Meg Ryan. This movie does offer a little more of a resolution than Leaving Las Vegas, but it's a tough one to watch. Highlight? Falling in love with the brilliant Tina Majorino. I don't know how little Tina didn't get an Oscar for that role. Maybe because no one could tolerate the depressing movie.
The Wrestler. I was so excited to see this movie... I heard so many great things about Marisa Tomei & Mickey Rourke... and Evan Rachel Wood too? Yes, please! Then I sat through the painful 109 minutes and, again, without much of a resolution, I was the one who felt defeated as the credits rolled.
What Dreams May Come. Robin Williams is an incredible actor, but this film sucked the life out of me. Robin Williams dies, his wife kills himself after he dies, and we get to see the different "afterlifes" we might just face if we kill ourselves instead of dying naturally. What about the hell their children are living in? Just thinking about this movie bums me out.
Blue Valentine. Although I saw a couple of brief similarities, Ryan Gosling was not reprising his role as Noah Calhoun. And I don't enjoy a world where Ryan Gosling is a high-school dropout loser, who's only goal is finding a job that allows him the "luxury" of being able to have a beer or two before he goes into work at 8am. Yes, I do love my beer, but not first thing in the morning! Call me crazy, but I expect more from my men. Although I was somewhat relieved the doomed couple broke up in the end, I hated the awkwardness I felt throughout the movie. And afterward, I couldn't stop thinking about how, at the root of it, Blue Valentine is essentially a movie about an abortion that shouldn't have been stopped. Sad & completely depressing, yes? Because the little girl is SO damn adorable. But now I'm all concerned about her future. Will she ever find out who her bio-dad is? Will Ryan Gosling's character still play a major role in her life? Or did he walk away from it all and drink himself to death? Yeah, I get a little too invested into movies sometimes, especially when children are involved.

So there ya have it. 5 depressing movies that may have included some incredible performances by some talented actors (except for YOU, Nic Cage... Oscar-snatcher), these movies affected me so negatively, I highly doubt I'll ever watch any of them again.

Do you agree with my list?

What depressing movie would you like to add to this list?

Mono Strikes Back: aka, My Holiday As A Cat

2012-01-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

Did you know that once you have mono it's like herpes? Mono can become active whenever the hell it feels like it? I knew this, as I do believe I contracted it initially from a cousin who hadn't had it for years. Occasionally, when mono's active, lucky mono-carriers won't experience any symptoms at all. Unfortunately, I was not spared mono symptoms like massive fatigue, fever and a wicked sore throat with swollen glands.

How did I get hit with mono? AGAIN?!

Since the hubs went to Switzerland for a week, I've been one busy Momma; carting my children around to their various events, keeping up with my own daily paid & unpaid responsibilities, celebrating a very busy Thanksgiving across the state and singing back home in GR that same weekend... prepping for Christmas, throwing parties, attending parties, etc. etc. Up until the week of Christmas, other than a few bad days here or there, I felt pretty good; I actually enjoy being busy around the holidays. But a few red flags popped to surface over the course of the last several weeks, telling me to slow the eff down that I completely ignored... until it was too late.

Red Flag #1
Bladder infection. Right around Thanksgiving thankyouverymuch I got hit with a wicked UTI that did not go away with the typical antibiotics I usually take for such things. I had to go on 2 antibiotics before I started to feel better... but I never really felt completely better. Even worse? The tests showed that I didn't actually have a bladder infection at all. WTF?! I still believe the tests were wrong, because at least the painful symptoms of the infection itself went away... mostly.

Red Flag #2
Fever. First week of December, I started fighting a fever, and when the hubs found out, he didn't pass go, he came directly home to work and kicked my sorry sick ass to bed, where I slept from 9a-1p, then 3p-6p... then went to bed at 9p and slept until we had to get up for school routine the next day at 6:30am. I was still pretty wiped, but I ingested a little extra B12, and the exhaustion went away and I started to feel better. So what did I do? I took extra B12 & coffee in order to attend a friend's social event that evening. Dumb!!!

Red Flag #3
Missing period. This may be tmi for some of you -- but once I was diagnosed with mono in May 2010 -- I skipped 3 periods in a row... and I didn't feel better until I finally had another period. I'm on an IUD, so my periods are fairly light & somewhat irregular to begin with, but mono does affect your blood, and I do believe they are related. The fact that I skipped a period and I was having stomach pains + fever sent me to my OBGYN and my Urologist. Both called for some bloodwork and my urologist put me back on an antibiotic (fyi -- antibiotics won't touch mono). Only thing the bloodwork told me was that I wasn't having an ectopic pregnancy or a kidney infection... and shocker, I have the mono-virus -- which will always show up in my bloodwork whether it's active or not.

Red Flag #4
Pure exhaustion. Now, let's face it, as a parent, we're all exhausted at the end of the day -- especially during the month of December. I don't care how many kids you have, the to-do lists seem endless and once you finally get them to bed, fighting the urge to hit the sack yourself can be nearly impossible. Since you have so many damn things to do, you don't go to bed, instead, you stay up to catch up with the bullshit you blew off all day doing the December shit. I should've gone to bed.

Red Flag #5
Getting sick/hungover after only 3 beers. Ok, so I drank on an empty stomach because I was too busy to eat all day and puked my guts out... and then I went out less than 24hrs later and proceeded to put a little more alcohol on it! My stupidity knows no bounds. I, however, have little regret for the abuse I did to my body that weekend. I had an incredible time with really good people I adore. But, that weekend was very likely the final nail in my mono-infested-coffin.

Red Flag #6 -- the official kick-in-the-ass-just-admit-it-you-have-mono-you-idiot moment.
Waking up with a wicked sore throat & swollen glands on Christmas Eve. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up, and I knew... I knew I officially had mono. Just standing up and feeling like I was walking through quicksand made me want to ball my eyes out. Noooooooooooo! I had to sing, solo, at Christmas Eve Mass that evening and I honestly wanted to die. I came super close to sending the hubs in my place. But, I'm a lady of her word, and I should've bailed a week or two before if I even suspected this was a mono relapse... which I did... but I was in denial until it was too late. In warm-up, my voice sounded like Roseanne singing the National Anthem. Ok, so maybe not that dreadful, but it wasn't good. I came so close to telling them to scrap it altogether, that high E loomed over my head, scaring the crap out of me... but it was prelude music, so I figured no one would be paying attention anyhow. I went through with it, and although it wasn't my best performance, my voice didn't crack once. High E can bite me.

The good news?

Getting mono over Christmas break meant that the hubs was home from work all but 2 days while the kids were home from school. I was able to stay in bed for a bulk of those days -- literally -- some days I never left my bed unless I needed to go to the bathroom.
My reference to my holiday as a cat? So true. And my cat totally stalked me like I was some sort of cat-like celeb to her. Picture captured via the hubs below -- for some reason pictures + bullets don't work well together in blogger. Hmph.
My kids have now been exposed to mono twice, and neither have shown any symptoms of being sick at all! In most cases, when kids under age 10 are exposed to the mono virus early -- if they show any symptoms, they are very short-lived and more flu-like. The hubs' brother got mono in high school so the hubs was exposed around the time he around 7. The hubs is annoyingly healthy (his mother breast-fed him, while mine did not... #justsayin!) but I do believe his early exposure to mono when he was a kid has kept him immune from this monoriffic relapse.
Another bright side -- having a mono-relapse is teaching my children a little lesson in tolerance and empathy. They have both grown leaps and bounds accepting that Momma can't do much right now, and they have been ok with that.
I've been in this place before, and last time I got mono, even though it kick-started a steady flow of weightloss (I doubt that'll happen this time -- since I don't have much to lose at this point) I learned the importance of rest & B12... and... unfortunately, not drinking alcohol until I'm better. There goes my tagline for the month. I've upped my dosage of B12 that I've been taking the last 18 or so months to a super high liquid form of a B12 complex, and it is helping... slowly.

The bad news?

We had planned to visit our hometown for a few days over the holiday break to catch up with friends & family we don't get to see very often... a few of them recently had babies that we wanted to meet. That was the hardest pill for me to swallow. Missing out on holding and gushing over new babies just about killed me. But, I knew a trip across the state would've only prolonged my recovery, or made it worse.
I still have a guest room full of presents for Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, nieces & nephews. They still need to be wrapped, and very likely sent in the mail... or something.
The kids are back to school, the hubs is back to work... they are back to whatever "normal" is, and I have to try to assemble some sort of normalcy too.
The looks of sympathy. Ugh. I don't like people to look at me and see Debbie Downer. Or worse, that I'm just fishing for sympathy. Last time, mono kick-started a drastic change in my life in such a positive direction. I know I won't be "better" overnight, but when I'm constantly being asked "How are you feeling?" with that tilted head and a sad look day after day, I don't want to lie, but I don't always want to get into just how shitty I am feeling on a daily basis. When I'm completely better, trust me, there may be a party with fireworks and beer... lots of beer.
My house is a disaster... I've had to let a lot go. The hubs & I had it out a few days ago over... who knows. We rarely fight, but this mono bullshit is obviously taking a toll on both of us. He wanted a gold star for "cleaning the kitchen" which meant, loading/unloading the dishwasher. The piles of mail, the Christmas decorations, gifts, boxes, new toys, old toys, etc ETC are stashed all over the house. I've had to say fuck it because I just don't have the energy to keep up with much. Sleep is priority #1 right now. #sorryIsuck

I am getting better, but at such a snail's pace. Mono takes a long time to go away. Last time, it took me about 3 months to finally feel back to my old fightin' self. Oh yes, I just said 3 months. I'm really hoping it doesn't take that long this time. Especially with Disney 60 days away. Cue panic?! Nah. I'm thinking the mono has very likely been active for about a month, since the first couple weeks I was in complete denial and would just down shitloads of coffee, tea & B12 to get through that.day. It worked... until it didn't.

My advice to you? If you're a parent and you start to feel sick, get help. Let the kids watch TV so you can take a nap. Sleep when you can. Go to bed early. Especially if you're susceptible to something as craptastic as mono. There are no sick days for Momma, but we still need to do what we can to stay as healthy as we can to keep up with our little monsters.

Did you miss any of my posts over the holidays?
Two highlights to consider: my link-filled year-in-review post: The Big Roller-coaster of 2011 and my New Year post Staying Present While Looking Forward.

Staying Present While Looking Forward

2012-01-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

I am a planner.

I like to have a little something to look forward to.

When I don't have anything to look forward to, I feel there's a void, something missing. My plans don't have to be big, but knowing I have a set date to meet up with a friend on a Saturday can get me through a rough week with the kids.

After I gave birth for the first time, our life was a big scary question mark, we were trapped in the unknown -- afraid to make big plans. Those early days of parenthood are fuzzy, but the planner in me didn't like that unknown feeling. Ok, ok, I hated it. I was a fantastic multi-tasker at the job I ended up losing weeks before giving birth -- but I had no idea how to balance post-baby life with my old life. I was afraid to leave my baby with anyone. I felt very alone most of that first year and let's be honest here -- my relationship with the hubs was absolutely tested for the first time. My wants? My needs? None of them really mattered, even though they should've... because I mattered. My life mattered just as much as my baby's & the hubs' life. But what I really missed out on? Staying present during that first year. Just enjoying my baby and my new life. While I freaked out, sometimes daily, I slowly accepted that things change, but I need to stay present and enjoy the ride I was living at the moment... and realize that I can actually have some level of a life -- because there's always something to look forward to.

Over the last 7 years I have learned through my experiences that there is something to look forward to every day and within every moment, and I try to teach that to our children when I tuck them into bed at night. "What did you like best about today?" is a question they occasionally dread, but they mostly look forward to talking about the big & little things that occurred over the 12 or so hours they were awake. I try to come up with something I enjoyed about that day that's different, even if my favorite echoes theirs -- just to give them perspective that we may not always see things the same way -- and that's ok. It also helps when we may have a bad day to find the positive light within it. Because even when you're having a bad day, there are positive moments we may have enjoyed, but the bad moment(s) cast a dark cloud over them. Those positive moments -- no matter how big or small -- deserve our attention, especially before we go to sleep!

The other way I can teach my children to value the positive in every day is by staying present & embracing those moments myself -- with and without my children. Exhibiting that Momma actually does have a name other than "Momma" along with a life outside of the house -- friends that may or may not have children... and Daddy does too. Sometimes the hubs & I do things together, without the kids -- because our relationship as a couple is just as important as our relationship as a family. How will kids learn the importance of relationships if Momma & Daddy are always struggling to find that precious "alone" time -- with or without each other? That balancing act will always be one of my biggest challenges of parenthood.

As this new year begins, I have much to look forward to -- and I love the balance it already illustrates.

For me? I'm working on a few things related to this blog, still in the "planning" phase --

Starting up my own meme -- hopefully next month. Anyone want to learn more? Email me!
Attending another blogging conference this year, like Type A or BlogHer

Big goal to host a Beer-Only Party at one of the conferences!! Wanna help? Email me!!!

Possibly making a switch to WordPress. This scares me... so any advice from those of you who may have experienced "the switch" from blogger to WP is welcome! hold me!

My family has a few definite things to look forward to as well, that don't require much planning at all.

The hubs & I will be attending the now sold-out Michigan Winter Beer Fest again with some friends.
The hubs & I have tickets to see The Wall Live in June, just the two of us.
The hubs & I really look forward to watching both of our girls dance in my oldest's 4th dance recital, but our youngest's very first!
But the big event of the year?! Drumroll... My family is going to Disney World this spring! We don't do big family vacations very often -- and after the hubs & I went to San Diego & Salt Lake City without the kids this past summer, we vowed that our next big trip would be Disney, especially with them being the perfect "Disney-age" of 4 & 7 when we go.

I'm sure I'll have a big before & after- Disney post right on here as we get closer to the actual vacation. The go-with-the-flow-embrace-every-moment chic is fighting with the planner within me to go spreadsheet-crazy, chalking out every second. You do have to do some level of planning when you go to Disney... within reason. Last time we went just with one child and it was very stressful for me at first.

But I was a different person 2 1/2 years ago. This is a good thing. Because I really believe I'll do my best to stay present in order to fully soak in & enjoy every day this year, feeling a strong level of fulfillment by living every big and little moment to the best of my ability.

Hope you will too.

What are your big -- or small -- plans for 2012?

The Big Roller-Coaster Ride of 2011

2011-12-28T12:00:00.008-05:00

I am so grateful for all of the support I've gotten from each and every one of my fantastically awesome readers this year. This blog, and some of the accomplishments I'm about to list wouldn't exist without you!!! Words can't fully express the gratitude I feel -- if I could hug you in person, I would. Thank you.

When 2010 ended and 2011 began, we all had resolutions.

Some of us wanted to lose weight.

Some of us wanted to simply maintain the weight we lost. In February, I celebrated losing 50lbs over the course of about 8 months, and although I did teeter-totter up & down about 5-10lbs throughout the year, I am ending the year right at that 50lb lost mark. Sure, the first half of the weight came off because of mono, but the 2nd half was due to my change in attitude over food... and life. Losing 50lbs is definitely an accomplishment I am proud of; the fear of gaining the weight you worked so hard to lose is a heavy weight to carry. But I didn't obsess about it, I just monitored my weight on a weekly basis and if it went up, I really focused on eating smaller portions, being active, and my weight would shift appropriately.

Another resolution I had at the beginning of 2011? Maintain a positive attitude.

Maintaining a positive attitude was a bigger challenge than I imagined this year. My world was shattered when I heard about the Tucson shooting. Closer to home, I saw several loved ones struggle to survive... and pass away... a couple friends passed suddenly. Just when I felt life was so good, the rug would be ripped out from under me, challenging that positive attitude. I learned just how fragile the heart is... and that cancer is a dirty whore. However, through these life-altering moments, I did my best to embrace & cherish every moment I had. Because of my niece's fragile state of living, the hubs & I lived many days of this year with a big question-mark-shaped-cloud over it... yet... we did our best to fully embrace, and sometimes laugh at each big and small moment we had with the children & as a couple. Living for today.

Despite these ups & downs, I accomplished much more than I imagined in 2011.

* I maintained my weight after a decade of yo-yoing up & down... ok, mainly up.

* I kept up with Momma Needs a Beer by writing about 2-3 a week, and even wrote daily, wait, make that 32 posts in April!

* I started practicing yoga in a studio again.

* I celebrated my first blogiversary -- and that same day I was knocked out while having a growth on my foot removed surgically. I had to stay off my feet for 3 weeks -- not a huge accomplishment, but the growth was cancer-free, and I maintained my sanity... and enjoyed wearing sandals again!! Even little victories should be celebrated!

* I attended a few beer events! Michigan Winter & Summer Beer Fests and the first Beer Social GR!

* I travelled: all over Michigan, from Petoskey and Manistee to East Lansing & the Detroit area, but the big trip of the year was San Diego and Salt Lake City with the hubs.

* I finally found a swimsuit I loved and actually enjoyed wearing a swimsuit again this summer... if you're a woman with kids & stretch-marks, I'm sure you can understand the level of accomplishment here.

* I attended my first Blogging Conference and rubbed noses with a celebrity!

* I became a work-at-home Momma! I am now a paid, free lance writer. Email me if you are in need of content articles and beyond!

* I prioritized relationships with my kids, husband, friends & family... while doing my best to put my own needs first at times.

* I watched my children grow up -- we now live in a diaper-free home, my now 7 year-old decided to chop her hair and both kids are in school! WOOHOO! And *sob*...

* I captured a week in my life with Adventuroo... and I'm so grateful I did!

* I savored a few opportunities from the Clever Girls Collective and was even featured in a CGC video with P!nk!

* My writing was featured on BlogHer, Daily Buzz Moms, Mommy Page and Band Back Together.

* I attended a few amazing concerts with people I adore!

* I survived a full week of single-parenthood while the hubs worked in Switzerland... and we all lived to tell the tale!

* I hosted a Christmas cocktail party... without freaking out!

* I kept singing at church, on a few beaches, in my car, etc.

* I went with the flow of life more than ever, while doing my best to maintain a positive attitude.

I've had a few years where I thought good riddance at the end of it. But have you ever reflected on a year and realized just how much you packed in... how much you evolved? I mean, I worked my ass off to accomplish some of the above. Other moments fell into my lap. I am damn proud of all of it. Feels so good to finish off a year and know you did your best to soak it all in & make the most of it.

The downside to living your life to the fullest? The guilt you feel when great things happen to you, while terrible things are happening to the ones you love. The guilt you feel when you have a bad day, but soon realize that your day isn't nearly as awful as a loved one's definition of a "good" day. I'm sure my sister would take a mono-relapse over watching her daughter suffer right now. Finding the light through these wicked storms is tough, but I highly doubt the people I love would want me to wallow and stop doing the things I love simply because they are suffering. I empathize with their situations and do what I can to reach out and help them if I can, but sometimes, there's nothing you can do to fix the situation the way you'd like to. Accepting that was one of my toughest challenges of the year.

Life is truly a roller-coaster ride: sometimes it's more fun than you imagined, sometimes you feel like you could fall out or vomit. Other-times, you want to find a way to exit because it's too damn scary! There are surprises, twists & turns. Whether your arms are up with excitement, or you're white knuckling your way through, holding on for dear life... my wish to all of you is to ride the roller-coaster with your eyes wide open, and find a way to scream with joy -- or fear, for that matter -- through it all. Don't keep your emotions inside. Express yourself. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines, watching the roller-coaster of life fly by.

Cheers to all of you... may 2012 be your best year yet!

11 Ways to Survive a Hangover

2011-12-22T13:00:00.003-05:00

Tis the season to be hungover, yes?

NOOOO!

Last year, I posted a few hangover tips the Thursday before New Year's. I don't know if anyone actually read it. I know this time of year, reading blogs is not at the top of everyone's priority list.

And guess what friends, I have already suffered my first hangover of the holiday season. So I'm coming to you, not only armed & ready with tips, but fresh with hangover experience. Awesome, huh? Not only did I suffer through a hangover, but I survived and managed to sing at church hours later and... AND got my party on 24 hours after I drank the drinks that awarded me one of my nastiest hangovers.

Eat. Eating before you drink seems obvious, doesn't it? But it was my very first mistake last week. I was on the go all day and before I started drinking Dragons Milk at a work-party... all I ate was a banana for breakfast and a small bowl of pasta with a little olive-oil for lunch. At the party, I was dealing with 2 kids and made sure they were fed of course, but I only ate a mini-rueben before I was pulled away from my plate for... whoknowswhat. Yeah. Don't be dumb like me. You know what you get when you drink Dragons Milk on an empty stomach? A spewing dragon. Enough said.
Drink Water... before, during & after. Again, another obvious tip, but it is so important to keep yourself hydrated when you are celebrating. Yes, water can be boring, and if you don't want people to think you're a puss, or ask you for a ride home, add a lime and make it look like a vodka-tonic.
Vitamins are your friend. I've been on B12 since contracting mono last year. It is an amazing little vitamin that gives me energy and keeps me healthy. I highly recommend taking B12 before, during & after your celebrations to help avoid that hangover. It didn't help me before the work-party last week, but it did help the day after.
Avoid mixing alcohol. Know your body and how it processes alcohol. I personally can not drink anything else once I drink a beer. Beer is my end drink. I usually start with a glass of wine or bourbon and move onto beer from there. The hubs claims he's the opposite. He does tend to avoid hangovers more than me. Trust your body and use your experience as a guide. Had a bad experience drinking too many bottles of Dragon's Milk? Try a beer with les than 10% ABV next time. Yes, I'm speaking to myself. Experience is the best teacher -- especially when it comes to hangovers.
Pay With Cash. If you're going out, make it a priority to hit up the ATM first and actually pay for each round with cash. It's the easiest way to maintain a solid grasp on how fast & how much you're drinking.
Limit Yourself. If you're not going out to a cash-bar setting, but it's BYOB, don't bring a full-case of beer unless you're sharing with friends. Get a good 6-pack of Michigan beer instead. You will drink it slower, and when it's gone, it's a good signal that it's time to switch to water.
Watch the time. Not the easiest thing to do when your goal is to celebrate, but you know your phone will be in your hands at some point -- check the time and make sure you're not drinking too many drinks/hour. Take it from someone who didn't watch the clock and drank 3 Dragons Milks in about 90 minutes. Not. Cool. The next night, however, I sipped 2oz of really good bourbon for over an hour and that treated me much better.
Sleep it off. The best thing for a hangover with a sour stomach is laying completely still for hours. Sleep will not only help you get through the spins and turning into Pukenstein, but the more sleep you get, the better you will feel in the morning... or afternoon if you are lucky.
Eat. Oh yes, it deserves to be mentioned again. First of all -- anything with natural peppermint & ginger can be very helpful, especially if you happen to wake up hungover. Altoids, candy-canes... ginger-ale are things I tend to have around the house this time of year. Then, try to eat something that sticks. For me, a big authentic Mexican meal seems to do the trick. Something cheesy with a little spice tends to absorb the last alcohol's ugly grasp, and gets me back on my feet.
Get Back On That Horse. Unless this is your 3rd or 4th hangover of the week (signaling the need to find something other than alcohol to help you? #justsayin #psaover) Sometimes, the hair of the dog is just what the doctor ordered when you have a hangover. Bloody Marys are usually my friend... don't know what it is about the spice that helps, but it works for me. Some people swear by drinking exactly what did them in. But, you won't find me drinking a Dragons Milk... yet.
Don't Beat Yourself Up Over It. If you're like me, you feel like hell when you get hit with a hangover: physically & mentally. I felt so stupid and the guilt hit me hard: Worst Momma of the Year! But hangovers happen. Learn from it and move on. I did have a ton of fun, right up until I turned into the dreaded spewing dragon. Hindsight is telling me I needed the lesson & reality check. Nobody's perfect.

CHEERS to all of you... enjoy celebrating and embrace every moment you have with the friends & family you may only get to see once a year. Put a little alcohol on it... whether you're celebrating or numbing the hours away with certain family members. #thereisaidit

PS -- if you haven't entered to win a $100 Pre-paid American Express Serve card... all you need to do is comment on my All Night Happy Hour post and you're ENTERED. Your chances are incredible and there's only a few days left to enter! This card is accepted everywhere AMEX is. You can even use it to purchase alcohol! Good luck to those who enter!

All Night Happy Hour

2011-12-19T10:55:00.001-05:00

This post is sponsored by Serve from American Express. Sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account!

This past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to take my friends (in this case, friends+family) out on the town! My cousin came into Grand Rapids to celebrate her birthday, my awesome neighbor took the kids for the night! I do believe there were skidmarks in the driveway as the hubs and I drove away to meet my cousins at the downtown hotel we'd be crashing at later. We slapped ourselves with a pretty-stick, got our swanky on (with comfy, yet adorable boots of course) and walked over the river & through the snowy night to our first destination: Reserve. A wine bar, perfect to get the festivities started.

My cousin Toni & I typically spend time together at our family cottage on Lake Michigan. There, we share lots of laughs & really good food with an awesome group of people we are blessed to call family. We are lucky; our side of the family is not only fun to be around, but full of great chefs... I do believe my ability to cook comes from the genes on the Tobey side of my family -- with a dash of inspiration from Paula Deen & Alton Brown of course. During our family gatherings at the cottage, we enjoy potluck-type meals full of various, drool-inducing dishes. So on our night out, we celebrated in a similar way, sampling a few different wines, brandy, bourbon, beer, as well as some incredible food -- and we shared everything! From the prosciutto, pork belly & stilton (oh my!) at Reserve to the crack-fries at Stella's & HopCat (they were so good, we needed them "loaded" at the HopCat).

The best part? The entire night was covered by my Serve card from American Express!!! We even met up with friends later in the evening who easily opened Serve accounts as well, and they were able to join in on the nosh-fest at the HopCat (trust me, we got much more than loaded crack-fries at the end of the night). It felt so good to treat my friends for a change instead of dealing with the awkwardness of figuring out who owed who at the end of the night. We've all been there, and let's face it, by the end of an all-night happy-hour, no one knows what's going on... especially when you're ~~stumbling~~ walking everywhere!

I did have a few concerns about the ease of use. Wrapping my brain around the process was a little tough for me -- I'm much better at learning through experience, not always by reading directions. I also worried if my AMEX Serve card would be accepted everywhere we went. It wasn't an issue. My Serve card was never even questioned. We split the bill, and I was able to transfer the money each of my friends/family spent from my smartphone, within seconds. My nose wasn't in my iPhone for a year figuring it out! My hair remained on my head! All I needed to do was punch in each of my friends' email addresses (that they used to set up their Serve account) and the money was transfered into their Serve accounts immediately. Serve was so safe, secure & user-friendly, I have a feeling I will never look back. No more checks, awkward IOUs between friends and family -- just ease. I highly recommend you open a Serve account and enjoy simple features like split-the-bill, send money, pizza-party and quick-pay -- which you could use to pay your babysitter!

If you sign up for a free Serve account today, you will receive $10 credit towards your first use! Comment below with your contact information within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account! Official sweepstakes rules and regulations may be found by clicking here.

I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

When Your Kids Only Want ONE Thing for Christmas...

2011-12-13T09:45:00.002-05:00

You would think that when your children make a list for Santa, there would be a few attainable gifts on it. My daughter, the very smart 7 year old asked for a Robot Dog, Fairy Wings (that actually make you fly) and Art supplies. When talking to Santa, she only asked for the Robot Dog.

A Robot Dog. An effing ROBOT DOG?!

Initially, this is what she had her eye on ------ >

If you purchase this new, it's $400.
Uh-huh.
You read that right. $400!?!

So yesterday, I bid on a couple of these bad boys on eBay --- the only 2 that actually had all the parts... and lost. ARG!!! I couldn't find a single one under $100 in stock with all of it's parts. Turns out, that robotic-looking Tekno dog was made in the year 2000 and... well. Yeah. The hubs & looked at different variations of robot dogs... but none of them did anything spectacular. At least this one shown on the right here interacted and moved, etc. None of the other dogs actually did anything special other than making noise, and maybe moving a little when you pet them, like this "Alive" Husky that I seriously considered:

But the damn dog doesn't even walk. And I do believe she wanted at least a dog that walked & barked, even though her sister got something like that last year for Christmas.

I started looking at alternative options -- maybe Santa's elves gave up on making robot dogs because they only disappointed kids last year and instead decided to go a different route, in favor of one of her favorite movies: Star Wars.

What kid wouldn't want an R2D2? (that link will take you to a video, it's pretty sweet)

However, those are pretty spendy, like $150 (although I did find a used one for $125 and seriously considered it) but we had already told the girls that Santa would be helping us finish off our debt to Disney World for our trip in March -- and big gifts would not be an option this year, because Disney World IS a big gift! R2D2 does actually bring you beer though (after you place it into his claw, he won't fetch it from the fridge... doh!) let's be honest here, I really needed a beer after dealing with this ALL day, so I came really close to being irresponsible and getting R2D2.

But I didn't.

Instead, we cut our losses, and picked up this:

I'm not crazy about it, the damn pooch actually poops -- isn't that kind of the point of getting a robot dog instead of a real dog? Whatever though, this robotic-type-dog actually performed most of the tasks we were looking for: walks, sits, barks, eats, etc -- and at $40, it's in Santa's budget. She better like it. Dammit.
What about my 3 year old?

Oh yes, she also had a list for Santa and only asked Santa for one thing too -- a Barbie car. I knew exactly what one she wanted, because every time the commercial for the Pink Barbie VW came on, she lit up. Now this was a little easier. Although I almost got the convertible (it was WAY cheaper) I didn't want to risk disappointing her, especially after the robot dog stress. Actually having options was a beautiful thing. $50 for the VW + a Barbie? Sold.

Let's face it, having girls with short lists for Santa may seem nice at first, but the pressure you feel to fulfill these wishes aren't always as easy as you may think, especially when you know the whole "Santa thing" has an expiration date, and this could be the last year my oldest actually believes (she is questioning Santa being "real" daily).

I didn't always get what I wanted for Christmas. See that Barbie car? I *always* wanted a Barbie car!!! I think I asked for one every single year! Maybe my parents stressed over that? Maybe not. Back then, if they didn't have it in stock at Toys R Us, you didn't get it. Cut to me being disappointed in finding an ugly homemade Care Bear & Cabbage Patch Kid under the tree. And my mother ripping me a new one for being clearly disappointed & ungrateful. Seemed to happen every Christmas. It's still tough for me to react when I open any gift because of that fear of expressing disappointment. Well, it may have taken me 25 years, but I think I finally understand my mother's frustration.

Wait, did I just say that out-loud? I obviously need a beer.

What's on your children's wish list(s) this year?

Kindness to Strangers

2011-12-09T11:09:00.001-05:00

Knock knock knock...

What do you do when you hear a knock at your door?

I'm a bit of a paranoid android myself. Over the last few of years, there have been random break-ins in broad-daylight throughout our neighborhood, sometimes they pose as solicitors. I do have reasons for questioning & potentially ignoring who is knocking at my door.

Knock knock knock...

But sometimes... sometimes... that knock knock knock gives you a different feeling.

Instead of freaking out, your instincts tell you not to panic.

The instinct that whoever is knocking at your door is someone in need.

Not in need of money.

Not in need of your stuff.

On a recent evening, as we got the kids ready for bed while listening to Christmas music, I thought I heard a knock at my door.

I ignored it as I usually do. Until I heard it again... knock knock knock.

So I took a peek outside, and witnessed someone sitting on our front porch bench. I could tell she was a girl, maybe in her early 20s, and she was only wearing a tee-shirt, hair pulled back into a loose bun. Was she crying? I didn't even think to yell up to the hubs who was bathing our youngest upstairs... my instincts practically forced me to open the door immediately with confidence, without fear.

I asked her what she needed, what I could do for her.

She was sobbing and asked me if she could use my phone.

I didn't even consider that she could've snagged my phone and run out the door. Fear and negative thoughts didn't seem to exist at that moment. At all. I just felt this overwhelming need to do whatever I could to help her.

I fetched her a glass of water while she called a friend, then I sat down with her and asked her again what else I could do for her, and if she wanted to talk about what happened. She told me that her boyfriend (our next door neighbor... which is just... awesome) hit her, then threw her out of the house, physically. I asked her if she wanted to call the cops to file a report and she said that she did call the cops, but her boyfriend threw & broke the phone as she called. As I got her some ibuprofen and was about to take her across the street to our neighbor (a cop!) I saw 2 police-cars pull into our court, just as the hubs was walking downstairs with our youngest adorably wrapped in a hooded towel. The hubs was pretty confused, asking me "Who is this? What's going on?" All I could do was shrug. Even he was in shock that I was doing what I was doing. It's not that I'm a total cold-hearted bitch or anything, I'm just one of those paranoid Mommas. But, I am a Momma, and if someone is in need, my Momma-bear-I-will-protect-you-at-all-costs-instincts come out in full-force. I sent the hubs out to tell the cops to come to talk to our girl before they went next door to get a statement from the boyfriend.

So now we have a stranger & 2 cops in our house, while trying to maintain some level of sanity getting our daughters ready for bed. We actually did remain calm and as we went upstairs so the cops could deal with the victim in private, we simply told the girls that we help people in need. They really didn't seem to need much more of an explanation. In fact, they seemed comforted by what we were doing.

The cops took our information before they left, and the girl had already used my phone to call a friend to pick her up. An hour after the knock knock knocks... our house was empty again, but almost warmer, thick with renewed faith & comfort. Although a bit of fear entered my brain about our relationship with our neighbors after the fact, I know in my heart that we did the right thing.

Whether it was the spirit of the season or simply me tuning into my Momma instincts, helping people in need is something we should all do naturally, and without fear. I don't know if we'll ever hear from that girl again, and that's ok. We did what we could to help her in her time of need.

Have you ever helped a stranger in need?

Thirsty Thursday: A Christmas Cocktail

2011-12-08T14:28:00.000-05:00

Cheers to all of you on this Thirsty Thursday, friends!!

What fun would a Christmas party be without a good cocktail, right?

The hubs & I threw a shindig last weekend to celebrate his company's success.

Everyone brought a dish to pass and we supplied cocktails, desserts and... alcohol, of course!

Thanks to my favorite little timesucker, Pinterest, I had plenty of ideas collected which inspired me to create a table like this:

I was so excited to utilize some of our crystal stemware we received as wedding gifts that we rarely get a chance to use... and in this case, decorate (thanks to 3 $1 16-packs of mini-ornaments & a little ribbon from Target!)

We even had fancy-schmancy pilsners for beer!

But in addition to beer & wine, I wanted to have one cocktail for everyone as they arrived. My only regret is that I didn't prepare each glass before everyone arrived. I wasn't using ice, just frozen cranberries, so I worried about the margaritas getting warm, and I wasn't sure if everyone would actually want a margarita. I knew we had beer & wine drinkers as well, so I didn't want to put a green sugar/salt rim on every glass if someone wanted wine instead.

That shouldn't have been a concern.

Just about everyone was diligent about actually arriving on-time and saw what I was drinking and wanted one. So I scurried to pour each one, grabbing a handful of frozen cranberries clumsily.

Even though I made a large pitcher, it went fast! And like the dummy I was, I didn't get extra cranberry juice to make another batch. Silly regrets for an otherwise fun & relaxing party, but, I'm a little freaky like that. Someone mentioned that maybe it was a good thing that the margaritas disappeared fast, so we could move onto the beer & wine (which we did not run out of -- yay!)

Cranberry Margaritas

1 part Tequila

3 parts Cranberry Juice

1 fresh squeezed lime for every part of tequila

Frozen cranberries

Sliced limes

Salt

Green sugar

In case you need "parts" explained, consider it a cup, a teaspoon, what have you. For my large batch, I used 8 cups of cranberry juice + about 3 cups of tequila + 3 juiced limes. Festive option: swipe the rim of each glass with a lime and dip it into a small plate of a salt + green sugar mixture. I used quite a bit of salt and just enough green sugar to basically turn the mixture green. You could not taste the sugar -- only the salt, which I felt put my Cranberry Margaritas over the top.

I highly recommend drinking one before your guests arrive... or just enjoy a couple with your favorite person by the fire on Christmas Eve.

Either way, CHEERS!!

Thanks to Ezra Poundcake for the inspiration!

Momma's Favorite Things... Under $50!

2011-12-01T14:24:00.004-05:00

Yeah yeah, everyone and their uncle are posting their greatest gift lists of all time...
But I can't resist.

Must... make... list...

What makes mine different? I'll be covering unique gifts under $50 for people like you & me (yes, if you're shopping for me, I'll take anything off this list!) that will guarantee smiles and maybe a rare thank-you note will hit your mailbox a few weeks later, just because the gift was that awesome. Ok, maybe I'm overselling. Read on and you can decide for yourself.

WAIT! Before I get to my list of favs, first let me just disclose that if there is a local option for some of these products in your area, help your economy & the environment by shopping locally this season. Also, these opinions are MINE and unless specified otherwise, no one compensated me to promote any of the following items. All of these items I've either personally enjoyed... or simply want!

For the drinker you love...

Michigan Winter Beer Fest tickets. Friends, today is such a beautiful day. Winter Beer Fest tickets just went on sale, and I can't wait to get my grubby little hands on tickets. We had such a blast last year!! It's outdoors, but you bundle, and the community of people that gather is so fun. If you live in Michigan, tickets for this unique event make excellent gifts!!
DIY Infused Booze. What? DIY booze?! Yes. It does take some time, so if you're going to make some Strawberry Vodka or Mango Tequila -- do it now!
Drinkware. Shameless, I know... but come on. Everything's better with the tagline Sometimes, ya gotta put a little alcohol on it. psst -- scroll to the bottom to find out how to win the can cooler pictured! --->
French Press. Drinking includes coffee IMHO. If you're a coffee-lover and never experienced a cup of french-press coffee, you must. I'm linking you to our french-press, and although I thought it would be a "special occasion" thing, we use it every morning, and on occasional tough (i.e. every tuesday) afternoons. It's way easier to use than you'd think, and very affordable. The hubs & I rarely hit up a coffee-shop anymore because we can make coffee that's just as good, if not better at home. Make sure your recipient has a bean-grinder and a tea-kettle, those are the only two accessories we use with our french press, other than, ya know, coffee & water.

For your foodie friend or family member...

Paula Deen's Everything Pan. You can't go wrong with anything Paula Deen in my book. I received her knife-block set last year and I still love it. I used a pan like this to death and I still need to replace it.
A Fun Apron. I adore aprons! Especially this Wonder Woman one from Etsy. So fun!
Bacon Ornament. Oh yeah. It sparkles too.
Cholula Hot Sauce 4-pack. In case you missed it, I offered this 4-pack up for a giveaway a few weeks back. These sauces are fantastic! Add flavor to your food faster than dehydrated spices!
Milk Bottle Measuring Cups. Fun multi-purpose cups that double as a countertop conversation starter!

For the Momma who does it all...

Love Stamped Jewelry. I scored one of these personalized necklaces last year... and I LOVE it! They are made right here in Michigan, but you'll want to place an order soon! She is awesome, but tends to get backed up this time of year.
$50 Spa Finder Gift Card. A massage? A facial? Yes please! I feel like a new woman after a trip to the spa. I hardly ever splurge unless I have a gift-card. Enough said.
Laundry Sorter. Ok, so it's not the most fun gift in all the land, but I honestly don't know how I lived without this. This is a huge sanity & time saver for me. I never have to sort laundry.
Fun PJ pants. I pretty much live in my comfy-pants when I know I'm stuck indoors for the evening. I'm in love with these "Spooning leads to Forking" pants!
Anne Taintor Personal Care Products. Emery Boards, Lip Balm, etc... all with fun vintage taglines. I adore Anne Taintor.

For the geekalicious man or lady in your life...

Electric Garden-Charging Station. Oh yeah. It's a little offbeat, but how cool is this?
Flash-drive Bottle Opener. What? A multi-purpose flash-drive? What's not to love?
Joystick-it for iPad. How cool is this joystick. I haven't tried it, I just think I'd play games like Pac-Man a little more often on my iPhone if I had a joy-stick.
Laptop Bag. I'm really enjoying this laptop bag from thirty-one... however... Psst... this is the laptop bag I *really* want (in dark-red!) but it's not under $50. *sigh*
iTunes Giftcard. Really can't go wrong when you gift one of these. Get creative with some DIY gift-card packaging...

For the children you love...

Crayola Glow Dome. My kids have been begging for this. I picked one up a few weeks ago. I'm excited to try it too!
Lego Ultimate Building Set. We have a big box of blocks in our family room that I scored from a rummage sale for $2 a few years back. My kids still play with it. If you don't have blocks for your kids, this would be perfect. Get their creative minds going.
Angry Birds Knock on Wood Game. Kids keep stealing your iPhone to play Angry Birds? Check out this board-game version!
Electric Guitar T-Shirt --- the guitar actually PLAYS. I'm sure it's annoying. I still want one for both of my kids. And yes, the mini-amp actually goes to 11.
Temporary Hand-Puppet Tattoos. My girls would have hours of fun with these!
Star Wars Craft Book. Crochet an R2D2 hat, Ewok Flower Vases and more... my future astronaut is gonna love this!
Keeki Pure & Simple Gift Packs. Another favorite in my house, and I even hosted a giveaway earlier this year. If you haven't had the chance to try Keeki's awesome products, they are organic, oder-free and fun enough for babies toes and Momma's fingernails -- paint them on a plane if you want. Love this.

There ya have it...

oh wait.

What's a Favorite Things list without a giveaway?!

Tis the season for giving.

I will select a random EMAIL SUBSCRIBER to win the Sometimes Ya Gotta Put a Little Alcohol On It Beer Can Cooler pictured above on December 9th. If you aren't a subscriber, what are you waiting for? Make sure you verify your subscription, and subscribe with an active email address, otherwise you will not be eligible. I'll contact the winner via that particular email address and you will only have 48 hours to respond, otherwise I will draw a new name via random.org until I do get a response. If you're already subscribed to Momma Needs a Beer, you don't have to do a thing -- you are automatically entered. Merry Christmas

What's your favorite thing this year?

I am Woman: Hear Me Roar.

2011-11-28T11:12:00.004-05:00

If you're a Momma like me, the recent scandals at Penn State, and now, Syracuse have left a craptastic taste in your mouth. My mind tends to run wild when I hear news that puts children in danger, immediately fearing the what if scenarios, warping them into my own life; I can only take child-endangerment news in very small doses. Scandals like these are a worst nightmare for every parent, and makes me hug my kids a little tighter.

Mad Mom @ Frederick Meijer Gardens

Occasionally, news like this angers me and inspires me to write.

I try not to get super heavy on my blog. I enjoy having fun and I aim to emote that fun within this space. However, these recent scandals are just too much. As more and more seemingly powerful men are charged with sexual crimes, lighter posts I've written like Girls Like Beer and Football Too pop into my head.

Why?

Think about it.

All of these recent sex-abuse scandals occurred in "male-dominating" environments. You could even go back to the Catholic-priest scandals. I'm sure there are a few women on the sidelines of these situations (outside of the Bernie Fine's stand-by-your-man wife, who just pisses me off like no end for remaining silent instead of doing something) But let's face the facts here, maybe a few more [unrelated] women involved would've stopped the abuse from happening altogether. At the very least, maybe a cry for help would've been heard sooner. Most of these men who take advantage of these situations, turning innocent children into victims, have their own deep, underlying issues that they are too ashamed, or, maybe a little too - dare I say manly - to admit they need professional help.

Maybe if more women were involved in these typically male-dominating situations...

The cover-ups & secrets would very likely end -- I don't know many women who would turn a blind-eye to a child being harmed.
Our children's safety would become a higher priority than high-ranking men.
The men with these serious issues could seek help before their issues affect innocent victims -- do not deny the power of a woman's instinct.
We could find a positive balance of supportive voices.
The cycle of abuse would decrease, possibly end altogether.

Women matter. Our voices are strong, but we need to speak out and stand up to be heard. The lack of equality from the football field to the Catholic church needs empowerment. This is the 21st century! Why is equality still something women are fighting for? Instead of being shocked or amused that I enjoy a good beer over a fancy-pants cocktail or that my daughter wanted to celebrate her birthday at a college football game, let's find a way to balance these thoughts. Let's find a way to end the judgement and understand that girls and women can be just as powerful as their counterparts. Maybe even more powerful. There, I said it. We grow humans in our bodies and squeeze them out of our ladyparts after enduring hours of torturous labor men can't even fathom... I think we can handle just about anything.

There are already awesome women running breweries right here in Michigan. It's a beautiful start. Could a woman, a nun for example, run the Catholic church? I do believe she could. Would a woman be a fantastic football coach? ABSOLUTELY! Maybe, just maybe, if women started kicking down the doors to these "men-only" clubs, we could become powerful enough to balance out and even diffuse these gender wars. We are strong, we are invincible...

Are you a woman? How do you deal with "men-only" situations? How are you kicking ass and taking names?

Cranberries ROCK!

2011-11-21T10:29:00.002-05:00

Ladies & gentlemen: start your ovens!! Tis the season for cooking from scratch!!

I love this time of year for many reasons... one of which is finding excuses to ditch the cans & boxed meals -- come on, even if you are the best cook on your block, if you have kids, you know you have a box of Kraft mac & cheese in your pantry &/or a frozen pizza in your freezer. Gathering up ingredients I can pronounce and creating something from scratch gives me such a great feeling of pride. I make a lot of soups and other creations from scratch year-round... but I don't always have the time, or let's face it, the energy, to create daily masterpieces in my kitchen.

Guess what, friends? The recipe I'm about to share is not only super easy, but really good for you AND incredibly yummy. I stock up on cranberries whenever I'm at the grocery store this time of year (they can be frozen for at least 6 months!) and make my cranberry chutney every Thanksgiving and throughout the year (add it to grilled pork or chicken in the summer -- it's fantastic!) and always receive rave reviews.

I'm partially reluctant to share it. Almost feels like I'm allowing you to see the wizard behind the curtain.

But since I almost always get complaints that certain people actually enjoy that jellied canned cranberry-crap... and maybe I shouldn't even bother going out of my way to make my awesomely fantastic cranberry-chutney from scratch, I challenge those can lovers to take a chance and try Momma's cranberry recipe. Your house will smell like a dream even if you still end up being partial to the canned sauce. But trust me on this one, 95% of people who try it never look at another canned-shape pile of cranberry flavored jelly again.

Momma's Cranberry Chutney

1/4 stick butter

1 cup thinly diced celery

1 cup diced & skinned apples

1 16oz bag of fresh, whole cranberries

1 orange, zested & fully juiced

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup red wine or brandy

1 tsp fresh thyme

1 tsp fresh rosemary, chopped

dash of nutmeg &/or cinnamon (if desired)

Melt butter in a medium-sized saucepan, add celery and saute for 2 minutes. Add apples, saute another 2 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Once the cranberries start popping, stir & turn the heat down to simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and taste. Feel free to add more sugar if it isn't sweet enough for your liking. You can serve the cranberry chutney immediately or make it today and store it in an airtight container in your fridge, it'll keep for well over a week! Serves about 8.

See more great recipes here!

The Single Momma Experiment.

2011-11-18T13:42:00.005-05:00

It's 10p on a Thursday night.

I'm alone in my family room and I know that I will not complete this post tonight. My attention span does not allow me to work as efficiently as I can during the day, my brain just isn't at it's sharpest at this hour... but alas, any time I've had free in order to compose great works of art during the day has been sucked up by... life.

I've been on my own all week while the hubs works at Logitech headquarters in Switzerland.

He's kind of a "big deal" around there this week.

I am not a big fan of being on my own. I grew up as the oldest of four children, the house was always full of energy. Someone crying, whining, laughing, screaming, stomping, coughing, talking, singing... I scoff at my upbringing, but it did make me who I am today.

Unfortunately, sometimes, it makes me a psychotic, clingy mess.

I have my strong, independent and occasionally stubborn ways, but I thrive on my interactions with my friends & family. I enjoy a good virtual correspondence, but there's something special about a hug, or just the simple echo of a familiar voice in my kitchen. Lately, the only echos I've been hearing in my house have been "Momma, I need you!" Let's be honest here, these words are starting to feel like nails on a chalkboard to this temporary single Momma.

With the hubs being 6 hours ahead, connecting with him has been a huge challenge, and one of the many difficult aspects of this whole situation. Just the fact that I can't really call or vent to him via IM about the random bullshit going on kinda sucks. He's my husband, but first & foremost, he's best friend; I can talk to him about anything and he'll usually validate my feelings or find some way to cheer me up.

The hubs is a huge help to me with the kids as well. He grew up with a father who wasn't hands on. At.All. 6 kids, and my FIL never changed a single diaper, I don't know if he could physically do a load of laundry. There's much more to him than that -- but I'm sure you follow. When we got engaged, we both made promises to prevent the other from turning into his father or my mother. We got engaged almost 15 years ago, and it's a vow we still take seriously: basically keeping each other in check. One of the ways the hubs keeps me in check is by kicking me out of the house when I need a break. Sometimes, he sees my need for it before I do. This week, that has not been an option. His absence led my mother to visit for about 36 hrs to "help" me mid-week, but she just had a hysterectomy a few weeks back and could only relieve me for a few hours in the middle of the day -- but the rest of her visit, I felt like I had a 3rd child to tend to. Although I truly enjoyed my 3-hour "break", the remaining 30+ left me feeling anxious with the occasional negative, judgmental and backhanded remarks echoing in my head.

Do certain people set you off? According to my former therapist, my mother probably has no idea she's being so negative & judgmental. So I just get to deal with it, do my best to ignore it, find a positive space, breathe and move on.

I've been getting better at dealing with my issues. Simply focusing on positive aspects of every day life has been huge. Making time for myself is also vital. But right now, my "every day" isn't typical, so instead of embracing the moment, I'm left holding on for dear life, just making sure everything's in it's right place, or at least good enough. Me time? What's that?

It's been an emotional week, but here I am, in the home stretch, as the hubs will fly home to this side of the pond tomorrow evening. I feel exhausted, have a pretty short fuse... but overall: stronger. I definitely accomplished something I never thought I could. I've been adjusting, and this week has helped me grow. Sure, I've fought through long nights filled with anxiety. I can blame the cat for that a few nights ago, don't ya love it when cats run like a bat outta hell into your room puffed up like a ball for no reason?! My 3.5yo for another long night a few nights before that... and my own fragile little mind for the rest of the week. Stupid head.

I definitely gained a deeper level of respect for single parents this week -- and I survived, and in some ways -- thrived. Sedona may have decided to give up naptime this week, but after the first night of waking up multiple times, I got her to sleep through the night for the rest of the week. The girls were never late to school or dance once this week. The hubs has yet to accomplish that. Hey, it's the little things.

Holiday Comforts

2011-11-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

This post is sponsored by Tempur-Pedic, the brand millions of owners trust to deliver their best night’s sleep every night. Enjoy our Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer now and give the gift of custom comfort to someone you love.

I love this time of year. To be fair, I'm pretty content with life September - January. I find so many reasons to celebrate & express gratitude. But my absolute favorite holiday comfort is experiencing the first snow.

There's something magical about it.

I can feel it in the air no, not in a Phil Collins kinda way, but I have to admit, I sang that in my head when I wrote that. I smell the snow coming a few hours before the first sparkly flake falls. I'm a bit of a freak about it. When I inhale and smell that snow coming it, I get butterflies and I feel like a giddy child anticipating that white-out moment when I look outside and see the sky exploding with glimmering snowflakes. The earth feels like it's at a stand-still; I get chills just hearing each flake fall to the ground as the first white blanket of snow covers up the dead leaves that fall had forgotten. Everything is aglow and almost ironically more alive again. Seeing Christmas lights glowing underneath the freshly fallen snow is especially comforting.

As I mentioned in my Christmastime is Here post last week, we typically turn our noses up at tradition -- we're rebels, what can I say? We almost always put up our Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving so we can relax & enjoy our decor and the season more. The tradition in our house is to put them up the same day the first snowflake falls. Let me correct myself, our tradition is putting up the decor whenever ~~we have the energy to do it~~ we feel like it, but it usually coincides with the first snow. The first snowfall happened last week, and it truly inspired me to get the tree and everything up almost immediately. We're still working on getting the Christmas lights placed outdoors, but having the indoor decor complete makes me so happy.

My kids too!

Every morning, my 3 1/2 year old wakes up and sees the Christmas tree all lit up and says "What a beeee-u-tiful Christmas tree! I love our Christmas tree, Momma." Whenever visitors come over, she points out ornaments she knows are special. My oldest remembered how special a tiny purple turtle ornament I received after a neighbor came home from a trip to Japan was to me. I received that ornament as a child, but, like the first snowfall, I get goosebumps & butterflies placing it onto my Christmas tree. It warms my heart. The sentiment is so sweet. So real.

I hope both of my daughters continue to enjoy everything comforting about Christmas through the end of the year as much as we do.

Comfort is the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday gift list, so be sure to take advantage of Tempur-Pedic's Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.