A few comments.

First of all, where was Georgetown yesterday? That was hideous!! They couldn’t do anything right. To quote my dad, they’re “snake bit.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. A part of me is happy to see any MAC school succeed in the tournament, but the rest of me that’s concerned with my bracket told that part to shut it.

Northern Iowa nearly gave me a heart attack too. That game couldn’t have been any closer! At one point I tweeted “Go Northern Iowa!” and more than one person responded with “That is rather random!” I assured them that I’ll be rooting against N. Iowa on Saturday. My allegiance is only to a team insofar as I have them going in the tournament.

I called it with Washington and Old Dominion, though. At least I did on this bracket, not so much on my other one. But we won’t go there.

This weekend oru house will be full of Andy’s college friends and their families, and I can’t wait. A tradition that started out with two guys on a couch now includes wives and kids and trips to the park in between games. The sippy cups outnumber the beer bottles. (Yeah, probably not.)

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

One of the things that has been good about Joshua going to school this year is the special time I get to spend alone with Sophie. Since she was my second-born, I obviously didn’t get too much alone time with her when she was a baby. And she and I are loving our time together.

Last Friday I needed to go to Kroger, but wanted to give Sophie a fun outing before I imprisoned her in a shopping cart (although truthfully, if I can get one of those race car carts, she’s pretty happy!) so we went to Tim Horton’s for a donut. Since our last pre-Kroger T-Ho’s run had ended in me getting a verbal spanking from the super-conscious folks who make Clorox wipes, I decided to go into Tim Horton’s to dine this time.

I sat Sophie at a table near the counter and ordered our donuts. Then, I turned to give her a reassuring smile while I waited for our order to be brought to the counter.

“Have my donut?” said Sophie.

“It’s coming sweetie, we have to wait our turn.”

Sophie likes waiting about as much as she likes getting her hair brushed, so she responded with a loud, disgruntled FUSS.

“No fussing,” I admonished her. “Say, ‘I’ll have patience.’”

My blonde little angelic-looking daughter narrowed her eyes, opened her mouth and screamed in a voice that was straight from Hades:

“I’LL HAVE PATIENNNNNCCCCCCE!”

Her scream was SO loud, and SO – well, scary – that the guy in line in front of me jumped about a foot in the air. When he turned to see the source of the fury, he cracked up laughing.

And so did I. Instead of scolding Sophie, I just dissolved into laughter. Hey, I told her to say “I’ll have patience” and she said the heck out of it. In a really distinct “Sophie” way.

Just then our donuts came up, and we dug in to some chocolate, sugary, donutty goodness. And Sophie didn’t even fuss when she asked for another one and I said “no”. So it wasn’t a total fail in the parenting column, right?

Friday afternoon I took my kids to the play place at a local mall. They had a great time, running off some energy and playing with other kids. But about 30 minutes into our visit, I noticed a little boy playing there, who looked to be about four years old, was wearing a t-shirt that said, in large letters, “No, YOU F***ing Calm Down!” Except it said the actual word, with no lovely asterisks, but with a real u-c-k.

Seriously.

I am guessing that by dressing their child this way, his parents, (who looked like BonQuiQui Barbie and Tupac Ken) were hoping to get a reaction of some sort out of someone. Fortunately, I am not dumb enough to confront two tough-looking strangers at the mall play place, so I kept my reaction silent.

Until now. An open letter.

Dear Parents of the Boy with the “F” Word T-shirt at the Mall Play Place,

What is WRONG with you? Perhaps it is a point of pride with you that your four-year-old’s lexicon (look it up) includes the “F” word, and that his clothing gave the proverbial middle finger to everyone who laid eyes on him. I don’t know. But it made me want to vomit. And I am so, so thankful that my six-year-old, who can read (bigger words than that even, try not to feel intimidated) didn’t see L’il Expletive (again, look it up) rockin’ the F-bomb shirt. Because, really, “Mommy, what does f***ing mean?” is not what I want to hear out of MY child’s mouth.

You made me really mad by bringing your son to the mall with that shirt on. But I got over being mad, and was just thankful that my son was oblivious. Then after FLEEING the play place (thanks for that), I just felt really, really sad. Sad for your son, because I am guessing if that’s what you clothe him with, that you’ve instilled an “f-you” attitude in him as well. Perhaps he thinks already, at his young age, that the world owes him something (everything?). I gotta tell you, this isn’t going to serve him well. Not in kindergarten, not in school, work, family relationships, friendships – not anywhere. You’re setting your son up for failure. And he deserves more than that. He’s a child. Don’t give him the adult responsibilities that come with wearing that word on his chest.

And also? Pick another play place.

And also? Don’t cut me.

Love,

Jenny

It drives me bananas. To put it mildly.

Yesterday we saw that Target had knit summer clothes on sale for $4, so we took both the kids to stock up. We bought Kate a bunch of little skirts and t-shirts that all matched each other so that she can mix and match and be fine. When we got home, I had her try them on before I took off the tags. She tried on a navy blue one first, and as soon as it was on she started squirming and doing her “it’s too tight” dance. I immediately got mad. I hate to say it, but it’s true. I was mad because there was no way that cotton skirt was uncomfortable, but sure enough she was acting like it.

She decided to try on the rest of the skirts, even though I told her it was pointless because they were all exactly the same. She insisted that the rest of them felt great, and I insisted that that was impossible because they were all exactly the same and I was going to take them all back rather than risk her deciding tomorrow that the rest of them didn’t fit.

I was steaming. I’m not proud of it. This is a hot button issue between us, but I have got to learn to remove my emotions from it and calm down.

In any case, we were still in the midst of our discussion about how all the skirts were the same, and she had just said “I don’t know why Mommy. The rest of them feel great,” when I happened to catch a glance at the tag on the navy skirt.

It was an extra-small.

The rest of them are smalls.

I immediately apologized to her and told her she had been right all along, and she was fine. But I felt like complete crap. It was a good reminder for me to hear her out rather than immediately jump to freak-out mode, which is exactly what I do when she complains about clothes being uncomfortable. Most of the time her complaints seem so irrational to me, but sometimes, at least, they are real to her, and I need to pay attention.

Random thought #1: Sammy had a cold over the weekend and in the process he forgot how to sleep. His head cold is all better now, but his sleeping habits? Not so much. He’s decided he prefers to sleep while being held and rocked in the rocking chair, as opposed to his bed. Holding and rocking him is really lovely. But not all night. So. None of us have been getting much sleep and it’s about been the death of me. Andy took one for the team last night and handled it all, because I was just out. Out so hard that this morning I wondered if I had taken Tylenol PM without remembering I had done so. Anyway, Sammy needs a hard-core crash course in learning how to sleep again, but because his new favorite thing to say from his crib is “Mommy! I neeeeeeed you!” I am finding that easier said than done.

Random thought #2: Yesterday I heard a podcast about a new trend called “sex-ercising.” Apparently pole dancing classes and the like are all the rage. They even have private group classes, who knew? So I tweeted to the #bigdealmoms that I know what our next outing will be. With the exception of Andrea saying she was game (shocker!), all I heard was crickets. I hope they realize I was kidding, because, you know, have they met me? I won’t even karaoke! And I have a life policy against dancing. Of any variety! Especially that variety.

Random thought #3: Last Sunday I got a wild hair and decided it was time to get my house spic and span. I googled “spring cleaning” and printed out Martha’s checklist. I started with the kitchen – I took down the curtains and washed them, scrubbed the walls, the ceiling and the floor, and cleaned the cabinets and the woodwork. And when I was done? Well, there were still dishes in the sink and you couldn’t really tell I had done anything. But I felt I had accomplished something, even if no one will ever know. The rest of the house is on tap for this weekend.

Random thought #4: I am a sucky mom and totally missed t-ball sign ups. Kate really wants to play and I really want to get her registered, but for the name of whomever runs the little league in our town is a CIA-level secret or something because no one seems to know and I have no idea who to call. So, if any G-town people happen to be reading this and know who I can bribe to get my kid on a t-ball team, please let me know!

Random thought #5: I need a good book to read. I’m just about finished with “Not Without My Daughter” (yes 1990 called and wants its book back, I know) and now I need something else to read, specifically something I can listen to in the car. Because I’m pretty sure the Bob and Tom show is rotting my brain. Any suggestions?

Random thought #6: Speaking of rotten brains, I think I can speak for Jenny here when I say that it seems we’ve both been in a bit of a blogging funk this week. In case you couldn’t tell. Which I’m sure you could. However, Mommin It Up is going through a metamorphosis this weekend, so with any luck we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled neurotic selves by Monday.

That is all.

So, last night I was thinking about posting and this song just popped into my head, and I thought, “I’ll do a post and talk about lots of my favorite things!” I’m like Oprah up in here. Oh, the brilliance. It’s stunning sometimes, isn’t it? Plus, it’s Things I Love Thursday over at the Diaper Diaries, so I thought it’d be perfect to play along. Today I’m gonna tell you about some of my favorite products – just for funzies – no reviewing involved.

Vaseline Sheer Infusion lotion – this stuff is the best EVER. I generally will buy whatever lotion I can get for free at CVS or Walgreens or Rite Aid, which is how I happened upon this stuff. A couple of uses and I was HOOKED! Now I will ALWAYS buy it when it’s on sale and I have a coupon. I’ve never met a lotion that moisturizes so completely. I currently have a nice stockpile of about 5 bottles. It’s on ECBs this week at CVS and there are $1.50 off coupons at coupons.com so go GETCHA some.

Venus Embrace razor – Best razor EVAH. Once you go Venus, you’ll never go back. I also have an incredible stockpile of these babies from drugstoring. I get them at every opportunity, because if I run out, I might DIE. (Also on at CVS this week! Was a coupon in this past Sunday’s P&G! Go!!)

Mary Kay Eau de Toilette – Exotic Passionfruit and Simply Cotton
– these two are my favorite fragrances. I can’t pick which one I like better! I love them so much, I got the body wash, scrub, and lotion in each fragrance as well. They are both light and wonderful and make me happy! You can get them from your Mary Kay lady or mine (my BFF Luanne) if you don’t have one. Since I like to share the love, I gave Emily and her sister Anna each one of these scents for Christmas!

Lands’ End Ultra Fit boot cut jeans
– I got three pairs of these on clearance at Sears Lands’ End shop a few weeks ago, and I have thrown out (given to Goodwill) all my other boot cut jeans. The fit and style of these are amazing and make all my other pairs unnecessary!!

Shade Clothing tops – I have a zillion and one Shade Clothing tees and tanks, and it will never be enough! I LOVE, love LOVE them! They are the best basics ever and the prices are always great!

So, those are a few of my favorite things! For more favorites, check out Things I Love Thursday at the Diaper Diaries.

My eyes are heavy, but the truth is, the sad truth, I can’t even fall asleep without medication anymore. Can’t even take a nap. If I were to go back to bed now, it would just result in frustration. And since I need to parent and all, I probably shouldn’t take an Ambien and hit the sheets at 9 a.m.

I am tired and I am tired of being messed up in this way. I’m so frustrated.

Now, off to the coffee pot.

True story.

Anyway, I always like an excuse to link up to Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday, so here are my top ten favorite search terms that have recently landed people on our little blog. Here we go.

10. “April fool’s kids fake strawberry cake.” Cake is not a joking matter!

9. “Baby peanut butter poo.” I can’t figure out which post this lead to, but I am 100% sure it was written by Jenny. (edited to add – I just figured it out, and of course it led to this post by the one and only Jenny Rapson.)

8. “Babywearing hemmroids.” Two words – spell check! Also, do you suppose that person meant that a baby was wearing hemorrhoids or that baby-wearing causes hemorrhoids? I recommend Motrin. Heh.

7. “Matching easter dresses for moms and daughters” and “sexy easter dresses.” Frankly, I’m not sure which one is more disturbing.

6. “How to answere the question biblically on how babies get into the mommy;s tummy.” Again, spell check, people! And secondly? Don’t come to us for sex ed.

5. “I accidentally hit my dog and he suddenly pukes.” Sounds like a serious problem. Maybe he was involved in this other search term – “Girls ipecac puke party.”

4. “Figure skating crotch hand,” “female olympic figure skaters crotch photos” and numerous other variations of the same idea drew a lot of people here. Something tells me my post wasn’t what they were hoping to find.

3. “Birth control makes me rage,” “birth control pills anger,” “birth control pills make me crazy,” and “the pill made me fat.” All of the above.

2. The most popular topic of the week – unfriending. “Why are people unfriending me on facebook,” “my child unfriended me on facebook,” “can my sibling unfriend me on facebook,” “should i unfriend relatives on facebook,” “how to handle in-law friend requests on fb,” and “can i unfriend my mother in law from facebook,” which was obviously searched by the same person who later searched for “facebook unfriending repercussions.”

And finally…

1. “Poop pants wii bowling.” Jenny, I’m going to let you take that one.

At the beginning of the school year this year, I did something crazy for me. And then I got even crazier and I told you about it. I started a schedule. A schedule for eating, tweeting, blogging, exercising, chores, and yes – EVEN – PARENTING! I was really surprised by how much I actually loved being on a schedule. It was great.

But…I only made it ’til about Labor Day. (Just a shade over two weeks! Wow, I’m an overachiever!) Around then, something happened, and I got out of my routine. And for some reason, I never tried to get it back. So instead of a nice routine, a pleasant schedule, I’ve got myself thoroughly enmeshed in an unorganized, unproductive, daily grind.

I allow myself blog, email, and twitter too long in the mornings, I take my shower too late, I never eat breakfast until about 10:30, and if I eat lunch at all, it’s usually about 2 or 2:30 when I feel like I might die so I grab a Mountain Dew and a hunk of cheese/chocolate/cookie dough or something else not very, ahem, well-rounded.

What? That’s not healthy??

Seriously!

So. I have got to break up with this grind. The problem is, I don’t really want to. It’s like the grind is the boy we date in high school that we know is bad for us but we date him anyways because he’s mysterious and exciting! (I say, “we” because, well, I never dated a bad boy. But you get my drift.) I haven’t been brave enough to break up with the grind and go back to my sweet, sensitive, attentive schedule. And the truth is, I do know why. It is because I am afraid of failing again. And failure seems so much more acceptable to me when it’s the product of a lack of effort.

But. I have decided, win or lose, to make the effort a second time. For myself, my family, my house, and my sanity! And once again I am crazy enough to tell you about it. So why don’t you do me a favor and ask me how it’s going? And while you’re at it, leave me some tips to help me stick with my fresh, new routine!
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