HOWEVER, last night something more important and much more blog worthy came up, so y’all are gonna have to wait a hot minute for “What happens in Vegas…Jenny Edition.” I promise it will be worth it.

So what could be even MORE important than me bumbling my way through Sin City? Why, a BLOG FRIEND in need, of course.

I first met Natasha Baker through the hilarious Holly Michael (longtime reader of this here train wreck) a few years ago when we all entered (AND LOST, COME ON!!!!) the Erma Bombeck writing contest. Then, I met her in PERSON at the actual Erma conference in 2016. I’ve enjoyed following Natasha’s writing on Dayton Moms Blog and Dayton Magazine, and on Facebook, the adventures of her farming family as they sold one farm, moved to another, and lived in a trailer for a ew months while building their new home. Twin tween boys and a teenage girl + two parents in a small space made for some very funny FB posts!

Natasha and her hard working farmer husband David live in Waynesville, have been married 26 years and have a 16-year-old accomplished ballerina daughter and twin 12-year-old football playing sons. They work super hard to provide for their family.

Recently, I had the wind knocked out of me when Natasha posted an article she had written for the Dayton Moms Blog announcing that, after months of odd incidents and medical tests for David, he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease.

He is 48.

If this news knocked the wind out of me, imagine how it felt for Natasha, David, and their kids. Life as they knew it is a thing of the past. The new normal is what just weeks ago would have been unimaginable. David can no longer work, and Natasha has had to scale back her own work, resigning as editor of Dayton Magazine to start this new chapter as caregiver. They need to sell their house and their farm and move to a more practical space ASAP.

They need to try and give their kids as “normal” a life as possible and soak up family time together.

Many of Natasha’s friends have asked “WHAT CAN WE DO???” all the while knowing, the practical answer is… “not much.” ANd that kinda sucks. HOWEVER there is ONE thing we can do, and that is support the Bakers financially. David can’t work, Natasha’s had to quit some of her gigs, and they need some help getting over the hump while they sell their home & land.

Honestly I was so relieved when I found out that a friend had set up a GoFundMe for the Bakers. Now we can HELP!!!!

Years and years ago, you all stepped up to provide for my friend E when she was battling cancer. Now I am asking you to step up for the Bakers. They need some “$5 Friends” – friends who are willing to support them, complete strangers, simply because you trust me, the messenger, to tell you they’ve earned it. So I am asking you to hop over to their GoFundMe link and give $5 or more. I’ve given $20 because I would not ask you to do something I was not willing to do a few times over. Their goal is $5000 and I want the Mommin’ It Up crowd to help us SMASH it!! I really hope they go way over because in my opinion it’s not high enough. Let’s crush it!!

While you’re there, read what Natasha has written about David and their situation. I want you to hear the facts of their situation from her, and learn about the man she loves so much.

Feel free to email me with any questions, but what you really need to know is: these are good folks. They have been dealt a hand in life that has been largely full of joy, and they are thankful. But the current hand they are holding is full of some hardship. So let’s start stacking the deck the other way as this next hand unfolds. Thank you, friends, from the bottom of my heart!!

Since, as we discussed in my last post, I am REALLY OLD, I no longer enjoy hitting the mall like I used to. However, I was really sad when Sears closed last year because I enjoyed going twice a year and buying ALL THE CLEARANCE LANDS’ END. All of it. I am legit super super super sad about that lost opportunity!

But as I read the article and thought about my shopping habits of late, I realized something: the death of retail as we know it may rest squarely on my online-shopping shoulders. OOPSIE!!! You see, I haven’t shopped in-store for Christmas in YEARS. At some point the pressures of having kid birthdays on November 16th and December 17th and hubby’s birthday on November26th in addition to Christmas just got the nest of me, and I let Amazon and Target.com take over. NO REGRETS! I did recently shop for Joshua’s birthday in-store (Gamestop, yo) on THE DAY BEFORE his birthday, because it took me forever to get him to tell me what he wanted. LOL! And it was in the middle of the day and I was the only one in the store…this is how I like to shop. Ha!

But anyhoo, recently I upped my online shopping game thanks to FREE RETURNS on Amazon. OMG BFFs!! It’s amazing! You see you guys, I am about to do something CRAZY! I am going to VEGAS! I’ve never been, and I am going for FRREEEEE thanks to MONAT! Yep, my shampoo slinging earned me a free trip, and I leave Monday. I AM SO NOT READY, logistically (I’m getting there!) But I am SO EXCITED! {again, if you want to learn more about Monat, do your shampoo shopping online, or have hme send you a free sample, you can request your freebie at this link: http://bit.ly/fixyourhair}.

When I found out that I had earned my Vegas trip with a few of my shampoo BFFs, one of my first thoughts was “CRAP I NEED A NEW SWIMSUIT”! So, I ordered one from my old standby, Lands’ End. BUT…when it arrived, I hated it. It was NOT flattering, and I didn’t have a lot of time to order another. So I went the Amazon route, and discovered suits by CupShe – and FREE RETURNS! HELLO!!! I ended up with two suits that I LOVE, and combined they were cheaper than the one I got from Lands’ End! Here are the two I got, this yellow one is my fave: https://amzn.to/2UdbtjN

But I also really like this one: https://amzn.to/2Fxi6Ei

Both of these suits keep me covered and comfy and hold in my c-section gut. WINNNN! I also bought one other one that ended up being WAAAAY more low cut than I realized, so I sent it back to Amazon. I dropped my package off at the UPS store at about 11 am, and my credit was issued to me by 1 pm. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING! WHAT DARK MAGIC IS THIS???

Soooo next, I needed a cocktail dress to wear to our Monat fancy Vegas reception. For this, I turned to Emily, because I haven’t needed a cocktail dress in YEARS and I was pretty sure she had one or seven I could borrow. I narrowed the choices down to these two and had my Facebook group vote.

My group chose the navy one, but I don’t have SHOOOOOES to go with it. Because I have flat feet and a bad back, I really have VERY specific dress shoe needs. I can’t do a high heel (See again: OLD OLD OLD.) Sooo I did INDEED have to leave my house and hit the retail stores for this. SIGH. After two days of wasted efforts, I came home empty-handed. A friend had also suggested to me that Amazon had free returns on SHOES too, sooo…this morning in a last-ditch effort, I ordered these:  https://amzn.to/2Wt8sJL

They will be here on Friday, and I’ll keep you posted on how they worked out. But I am so glad that if they don’t, I can send them back and know I will have my money back QUICK. If they don’t work, I am just going to go with the teal dress, because I already had shoes to go with those and I found some pretty, inexpensive jewelry to go with it when I was out shoe shopping (already had jewelry for the navy dress, go figure.)

So…to all the stores closing, I’m sorry. I REALLY AM! I honestly feel bad about it…but dang. How can I turn down online shopping with super low prices, great quality and FREE RETURNS!??!?!?

What are your favorite online shopping destinations? And can we talk about ClickList and Instacart/Shipt?? YASSSS! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT EMILY, right? Seeeriously let’s get back to the topic at hand. One of my faves, naturally: me. And how much I’ve changed.

For instance, I’ve spent much of my adult life abhorring exercise, and making fun of those who live that #gymlife or must post every.single.workout on social media. WE GET IT, YOU’RE FIT! Congrats #fitmom, I’m truly happy for ya. Jaykay, I’m actually rolling my eyes at you. And STOP it with the before & afters, people! True story, you CAN track your progress by actually looking at your sports bra selfies YOURSELF instead of posting them on the Insta erry-other-day. NO LIE. You should try it!

So, I was perfectly content to keep on not exercising (#nevermissamondayonthecouch) but then…OH CRAP I started struggling with a back injury. Like, struggling hard. FOR MONTHS. (See above paragraph about being old.) So now, I exercise. EVERY DAY. Seven $%#! days a week, against my will! Treadmill AND yoga! Because if I don’t, my back hurts. And it makes my right leg hurt and spasm and it really WRECKS my life.

So I exercise. I #nevermissadaythatendsinY. HOWEVER, I have never one posted on social media about it. So did it REALLY HAPPEN? You’ll just have to believe me. I’m almost ashamed to say it because it’s so not me…but…I exercise DAILY! Whaddyado?

SO, NEXT UP in the big life changes: only working part time. In June I went to part time with ForEveryMom, and in November I lost my gig there permanently, which in all honesty is NOT a bad thing. So, now, I write freelance for a variety of clients and I love it. If you want to check out some of my signature Jenny-type articles, you can find them at Her View From Home. I LOVE writing over there. I also do ghostwriting of newsletters, blogs, and emails for a variety of businesses, including photographers and a marketing agency. (If I can learn about it, I can write it, so if you have need of a ghostwriter, email me at jennyrapson at gmail dot com.) The nice thing about this part-time, freelance life is that it gives me plenty of time to EXERCISE and shower before starting work every day because I’m the BOSS OF ME! Which is great because I am a sloooow exerciser (still a fast writer, though!)

The other big change is that for the past 14 months (which is crazy to me!) I’ve been a market partner with MONAT hair care. That’s right, I am a shampoo slinger. What surprises me the MOST about this is that I freaking LOVE it. It turns out you CAN do direct sales without being creepy, pressuring people, and posting photos of your paychecks. You can do it by sharing the product you love and why it’s helpful! I have loved helping people with their hair problems and making money through that. It’s funny, I would have thought that makeup was my thing, but it turns out I was wrong. It helps that I believe in these products that have transformed my hair. Just check out some of my before and afters!

Anyway, I am not gonna give you a sales pitch, but if you want to know more, email me at jennyapson at gmail dot com. If you want me to send you some freeee samples, take my hair quiz and/or request a sample here: http://bit.ly/fixyourhair. I won’t stalk you – I will just follow up to see how you liked them!

FINALLY, here’s another thing about 40ish me that weirds me the heck out: MY KIDS ARE OLD. I mean, two out of three. Joshua is FIFTEEN you guys. Like, a few months away from a learner’s permit, which makes me sweat and want to barf. And Sophie is 12…all very preteen-y and going through the things that happen at that age that moms don’t blog about because we don’t want to humiliate them. This is all weird territory for me, you guys. I HOPE to have it figured out by the time Jonah (still a blessed eight years old) gets there. And I hope I haven’t scarred the older two in the process.

The long and the short of it is…my life looks soooo different than it did last time I was regularly blogging! So I am really trying to figure out how to do this blog thing again. I want to so badly…my creative juices seriously want to flow, I swear.

I’ve just gotta figure this out…I want to tell STORIES again. It’s my favorite. But I have to figure out how to, again. And what those stories will be. And convince Emily to write one once in awhile!!!! I hope you can bear with me while I do!

From then on, I was hooked. My parents often watched Barbara Walters and Hugh Downs on 20/20, and there were plenty of true crime stories there. So I enjoyed tuning in on Friday nights and hearing about crimes and mysteries. Murder wasn’t my ONLY interest, though. As as a good teen book nerd, I read on lots of other topics as well. I don’t specifically remember reading any more true crime books until…

Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson were brutally murdered in June 1994. Like the rest of the world, I watched the O.J. Simpson saga play out over the next two years. I remember listening to the verdict on the radio in high school. I was incensed at the time that he’d been acquitted, and over the next couple years, as ALL THE BOOKS came out, I read them. All of them. Over the years I’ve also watched ALL THE DOCUMENTARIES.

I still think he did it, but now I understand more about why he was acquitted {we won’t go there, though.}

Anyway, after that I started reading Dominick Dunne novels, most of which are based on true crimes, and then digging into the real murders they were based on. (Dunne’s daughter, Dominique, an actress, was murdered – strangled tp death- by her ex-boyfriend, who got off on a manslaughter charge with just a few years in prison.)

And then I’d watch the TV shows: Cold Case Files, City Confidential, etc. Fast forward years later, and I still love watching these, and everything else I can get on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

ALL THAT TO SAY: I love true crime!

Now I’ve discovered true crime podcasts. OBSESSED. I listen all day long while I work.

Which has led my dearest darling husband to: a) be very afraid I’m trying to learn how to plot his death and b) constantly say; “Jenny loves murder.”

Which is NOT TRUE! I don’t love murder. I hate that people do this to one another. I wish there were no murder shows and books to be fascinated with.

But there ARE. Cause people suck. So, the fascination continues.

I love the mystery, the detective process, the amazing science when a case is solved. I mourn for families who, year after year, have no answers. I feel righteous indignation and rage for them, my heart rips in two for a mother who has a missing child.

I know it’s weird, but I love true crime. And podcasts and events like Crime Con prove I’m not alone! There are gazillions of internet sleuths who try to solve cold cases (I’m far too busy for that, but I do love to read of their efforts!) because they genuinely want to help grieving families. It’s kind of crazy and amazing.

So there ya go, now ya know. I really don’t love murder, but I like true crime. A lot. As a matter of fact when I need to take my mind off of the troubles of this world, I’ll oftensot back and watch a show about murder (Cold Justice, anyone? Yes please!) So I like to hunker down with a good murder show once in awhile! Is that a crime? (Spoiler alert, as a true crime afficionado, I can say it’s not.) I’ve even been tossing around starting my OWN true crime podcast…because if THIS mom likes true crime? Chances are your mom likes true crime, too!

Many of you will remember, I’m sure, that 8 years ago this month my good friend Elizabeth, aka “E” was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She fought it, and you, our very wonderful readers, raised a butt ton of money for her to help her family while she did so. And then after months of grueling chemo and hair loss and grief and joy and learning, E was cancer free.

And then after more than six years cancer free (which is usually considered cured), she wasn’t anymore. She told me at church one day about a year and a half ago. She wanted to keep it on the down low. It was just a tiny spot, a small surgery and low key chemo was gonna take care of it.

And for awhile, it did.

And then it didn’t. In October she went for a scan that resulted in immediate emergency surgery on her stomach to remove a large mass. It wasn’t good, she ended up with a ostomy bag. Since then, she has fought valiantly, but has only even had the strength and health for one or two chemo treatments.

In December she had the strength to write a couple of posts on her Caring Bridge site. I was hopeful, she sounded like HER. And she even asked me to bring her some magic Monat dry shampoo since she couldn’t wash her hair as much as she wants to. That brought me some joy. I was super super hopeful.

But a few days ago her husband Steve wrote an update that HE never thought he’d write, just like i can’t believe I’m writing this one. He was writing to tell us that barring a miracle, his bride will be with Jesus soon. I think part of me already knew, but it still felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. Which is nothing compared to how Steve and his kids Olivia, Quinn, and Turner feel.

I hope you will all hop over to the CaringBridge and read what E and Steve have written. E wrote at Christmas time that she was not afraid to die. ( I really want you to read that one guys. Dec 23rd. Will you read it for me please?) That, my friends, is a gift: because I can tell you when I walked this road with her 8 years ago she was very, very afraid to die. So God has worked a miracle in her heart and I am so thankful. She’s so strong an amazing, and has loved others SO well her whole life long. I want her here longer selfishly, but I am so glad she is not afraid to approach her eternal home with peace.

Friends, I ask for your prayers for the Koproskis. Pray for a miracle of healing, or pray for strength and peace for Steve and the kids. You know ovarian cancer has hurt my family and I hate to see it hurt another that is so dear to me. All of this is such a reminder to me that this world is not our home, that man and woman were created to live in a world where cancer didn’t exist. Sin changed all that, but we still have the opportunity to be in our forever home after we leave this earth, thank God. No more tears, no more cancer, no more young kids missing their mom.

Today I am thankful that E is my friend, that I got to watch her and learn for her in all that she did for others in both sickness and health, that she is teaching me still. But I am also super sad. Please pray for the Koproskis…God draws near to the brokenhearted.

I am full of emotions but also so overwhelmed that I almost feel like I wrote this clinically. So I apologize for that. I’m just really, really sad and I never wanted to write this stupid update. It sucks. Thank you, friends. For caring then, and for caring now.

• I was told my Social security card (which we’re not allowed to laminate, BTW) was to ripped up to get the fancy new TSA compliant license
• I almost failed my vision test in my left eye because I wore my contacts instead of my glasses because you’re no longer allowed to wear glasses (or SMILE, GAH) in your driver’s license photo and my left eye doth protest a lot about contacts these days,
• I answered multiple questions about how many times I’d been married (UNO thanks) and had to pony up proof of that just ’cause I had the gall to change my name 18.5 years ago, AND
• I paid $25 for the “regular” license that won’t get me on a plane so I could stay street legal while I’m getting a new social security card

UGH. ANYWAY.

I am fairly certain NONE of this would have happened to me if I were one Emily Berry. In case you’ve forgotten, she’s this one:

And this is basically her EVERY DAY.  I mean firstofall, she’s only 39 and secondably (I love inventing words! It’s my fave), she’s still got perfect vision. I’ve been blind since I was EIGHT.  Coke bottle glasses or contacts for THIRTY-THREE YEARS and all this one has to do is OPEN HER EYES to see in the morning. UGH. So irritating.

I’m fairly sure when she goes to the BMV they let her bring a giant ring light like Khloe Kardashian and take 12-15 photos and let her CHOOSE which one she wants.

Case en pointe, last Sunday we held a spectacular event at a salon for our Monat customers. And by “we” I mean my team, of which Emily is a part. Earlier in the week she stayed up 36 entire ours moving every last freshman into the dorms at Miami University ALL BY HERSELF so she was all, “Look I’ll show up to the event and help you pay for it, but I CANNOT help plan it.” And I was all, “Fine, but could you at LEAST bring your fancy hair dryer (which I ordered you from Costco because that’s what you do when you love someone) so we can use it on a customer?” And she was all, “YEP.”

Well let’s just say the event started at five and it was CRAZYPANTS, which was awesome, but that I got a text from Emily at 6:30 saying she’d taken a long nap and just woke up and oopsie she was sorry she missed it.

And you know what? DO you KNOW how easy this woman’s life is? Here’s how easy: Not only was I not mad, until I got the text, I hadn’t even noticed she and her hair dryer weren’t there!!

Now, you might be insulted if you were Em, but the truth is I was so busy I didn’t have time (FOR ONCE) to think about Emily.  And I was not even mad because look at her, I can’t be mad at her!! And she got a FOUR  HOUR NAP!

I mean, she DID stay up 36 hours that week personally making the bed of every last freshman at Miami (#loveandhonor) but COME ON.

I guess the main point I’m trying to make here is: Where have I gone wrong with my life?? I’ve GOT to start riding this girl’s coat tails. Or at LEAST just start copying literally everything that she does.

Because it’s clearly working. I mean I’m writing this entire jealous rant about her and I still just really wish I was with her right now. *Sigh*

How does she DO IT??

Then a few years ago, I did not heed my best advice, and I went and got a job. Only part-time though! And actually, it was perfect for me. So all was well and good and this particular work was NOT for suckers.

And THEN…I liked the job so much that I thought after Jonah went to kindergarten, I would like to go full time. Be a REAL employee, get benefits, etc. I really wanted to further my career and I thought this was the way to do it.

Long story short, after about seven months of full time work, Mark Zuckerburg of Facebook fame decided in August 2017 that he was going to drastically reduce the reach that Facebook business pages got -especially if they linked out to articles that took people OFF of Facebook.

Which is exactly what I did all day – write articles for the website I was editor for, then post them on Facebook so people would click off to Facebook and go to said website.

So, after August 2017, my job got a whole lot harder. I powered through it for about 10 more months, but the added stress was no bueno. To write article after article and have NO ONE read it…pretty disheartening. Maybe once a quarter I’d find a glitch in the matrix and I’d have one go viral, but it was seriously just luck. When you publish 4 articles a day, 5 days a week, and have one or two out of over 200 really do well…it’s demoralizing. ESPECIALLY when you used to have success on a much more regular basis than that and everyone thought you were great at your job. WOMP WOMP.

In April Bobby’s Lexus dealership got  bought out. This, while not all bad, has added a lot of stress to his work load (he is shop foreman now). So, this whole spring we were both VERY stressed. With two VERY STRESSED parents, our household wasn’t functioning well. Something had to GIVE.

So, I asked my work if I could go back to part-time. Back to being a contractor. Have a little less stress and more flexible time. And they said YES!!! I am soo soo blessed by that. To accomplish this, I had to formally resign my full time job, and sign a contract to be an independent contractor. Now I am ONLY writing, not managing the Facebook page or the website traffic, and after two weeks of having that off my plate, I can say I made the right choice. I’m so happy to still be writing, which I love to do, and on parenting subjects I am passionate about. I am also happy to be working less hours, so I actually have less child care and MORE TIME to spend with my kids this summer, and to start managing our household better.

I’m also hashtag blessed to have more time to put into the MONAT hair care business Emily and I are doing together! If you are curious as to what that is all about, you can request to join our Facebook group. I’m also doing beauty product reviews (earlier this week I announced a NEW FAVORITE MASCARA!) there, too!

Finally, I’m so excited to be able to blog HERE more. I have missed writing just for me, and to crack Emily up, a LOT. But working full time left me zero creativity to spare. I can’t wait to spin you some more yarns about what my family is up to these days.

So, yeah, I no longer think work is for suckers,  but I do think I’ve found  my happy place with work and I’m thankful!

Anyway. What this means is, I’ve spent almost exactly 39 years trying to boss Emily around and get her to do what I want her to do. (It was a lot easier when she was still in diapers, see?)

At times this  has worked better than others. Like, that one time when I decided to have a baby and it made HER want to have a baby, and we both had babies really close together, THAT WAS AMAZING.

And then, that time when she let her family convince her to get a dog and I tried my hardest to persuade her to NOT GET THAT DUMB DOG…well, that one didn’t work out very well for EITHER of us. Because ugh that dog still annoys me every time I go over there ALL THESE YEARS later, and really, if you have been reading this here trainwreck blog for any amount of time, you know it’s ALL. ABOUT. ME.   the precious cousin relationship.

So speaking of me, though…LOOK AT MY HAIR!

I mentioned a couple posts back that I started using MONAT when my HAIRLINE STARTED RECEDING!

You guys, I CANNOT BE BALD.  So I started using it in December, because supposedly it grows ya hair back.

Within 4 weeks I found that it was TRUE, it does grow ya hair back. WHEEE!!

I have no good “before” pics of my hairline because I was constantly trying to hide it. BUT, I do have this one from last fall where you can really tell. And the after on the right was taken like two weeks ago.

But it’s not just my hairline…MONAT has transformed the entire health of my hair. The top picture her was air dried a year ago, and the bottom air dried about two weeks ago.

Umm…HELLO? This stuff works. If you want to know how and why you can comment here, email me jenny at momminitup dot com or join my Facebook group.

But that’s not even the point of this post!!

The point is to tell you, that as soon as I realized it was GROWING MY HAIR, I told Em that she HAS TO USE IT, because she’s always wanted MOAR HAIR her entire adult life.

And, for once in my life, it was NOT hard to convince Emily to do what I told her to do! She started using MONAT too and quickly fell in love with it and what it is doing for HER hair.

Even though, for SOME reason, she is still not obsessed with taking hair selfies. Sigh. Maybe one day…

Anyhoo. Here’s the BEST PART.

Even though Emily is a full time working Vice President of everything, she saw the value of MONAT so much that she said YES when I asked her to do the MONAT business with me.

So, like, we are totally MONATIN’ IT UP now!! Together!! Yaaaaay!

I seriously can’t wait til we are driving our matching white cadillacs down the road together and earning fancy cruises with staterooms that have fainting couches. I’m sure that’s all to come, but in the meantime, we’ll just be admiring our hair every time we pass a mirror, and also helping everyone else with their hair problems.

Thinning? WE GOTCHU. Breakage? All over it.  Frizz? On the case. Hair that just WILL NOT GROW? We’ll tell you what you need! Monat is PLANT-BASED, y’all and free of waxes, silicones, parabens, glutens, and all the other bad crap most of us put on our hair every day.

So, my lovelies, if you are at ALL curious, do one of three things (or both) – 1) hope on over to my Facebook group Real Mom Beauty with Jenny Rapson and sometimes Emily and/or 2) visit our Monat site which is http://momminitup.mymonat.com/ or 3) just email me at jenny at momminitup.com.

Emily and I promise never to pressure you into purchasing magic shampoo. We will just give you the info you need to know IF it is what will solve your hair probs. We will still be your friends if you don’t “join our team” – PINKIE PROMISE.

We suuure do hope we can help you with your hair – if you need it. But even if we can’t, at least you know that I MADE EMILY GO INTO BUSINESS WITH ME!!

There’s NO WAY she could ever regret this….right??

*** P.S. JUST FOUND OUT that there is a HUGE FLASH SALE on MONAT this weekend from Friday 5/25-Sunday 5/27! Join our group or email me for details!!! 5) Enter your personal info and check out – add code SUMMERLUV in the coupon code box!

I think I remember how to do this! I only had to reset my password like 18 times but I am IN and we are BACK! If only someone had tried to steal our identity and go viral before now, perhaps our blog wouldn’t be defunct. Oh well! Big shout out to Lyz or whatever her name was for spurring us into action.

But anyway, we are alive and well and have been doing lots of fun things for the past couple years. Jenny mentioned some, but I thought I’d try to make her Non-Comprehensive List slightly less non-comprehensive, so I took a stroll through our Instagram feeds.

My LORD that girl takes a lot of pictures of herself.

At least she doesn’t mind looking like a moron in some of them.

Anyway.

Let’s see, what did we do for the past two years?

Well, we had two more editions of #SpreadsheetThanksgiving.

I’ve come a long way since the American cheese and spaghetti crock pot incident, people.

Our kids went trick or treating together. It was the 14th year in a row for these two.

Can you believe that? Me either. I would have been crying if I had not decided to take a red solo cup with me this year. Do you know how much wine fits in one of those things? A LOT. I think I stunned the neighbors by actually, like, talking to them as we walked through the ‘hood. Wine makes me FEEL THE THINGS, evidently.

Jenny’s been through several different phases of obsession since we’ve last talked. This photo demonstrates two such stages.

Someday I’m going to make a list of all the things she’s been enamored by over the years. CVS, coupons, mascara, the list is endless. I’m sure many of you could help me out with this endeavor.

She never tires, though, of her own face! And it’s only gotten worse now that she is in love with her hair.

Karma is a funny thing, though, because all the time I’ve spent making fun of Jenny’s vanity has come back to bite me in the @ss in the form of my 14 year old daughter, whose prized possession – a gigantic floor-to-ceiling mirror – brought Jenny to tears.

Well there you have it, the highlights, at least as far as we remember them. Thank you for the warm welcome back to our little corner of the internet, friends. We’re glad to be home.

All this to say, I now take a lot of SUPPLEMENTS, mostly in pill form, and use essential oils to help with my pain, mental health, and my stupid hormones.

I get really weary of taking pills, but they help! I take MSM for my hand pain, DIM for my hormonal acne, magnesium for my anxiety, and a good probiotic like we all shoud.

But there is ONE thing I take, that is not a pill, PRAISE THE LORD. It’s a supplement in powder form that I put in my breakfast shake, yogurt, coffee, or whatever food/drink I have at the time when I remember I need to take it. It’s Calcium + D, which has 1000 mg of calcium which women my age reallly need, and 1000 IU of Vitamin D3, which I really need for a variety of reasons but mostly my mental health. Living in Ohio, most of us here honestly don’t enough Vitamin D, and a deficiency there is no bueno.

I would not have heard of this godsend of a product if my friend Haley had not told me about it. The company she works for (who I used to work for) has Fit Formula Wellness, the makers of Calcium + D, as a client, so she asked me if I wanted to try it. I said yes because I LOVE HALEY, but to be honest, I wasn’t even THINKING about it for myself at first, but for Jonah. Turns out it’s great for both of us. Let me ‘splain.

As I mentioned in my last post, Jonah goes to the Brain Balance Center for some of his issues and he is doing ah-maz-ing. Part of the BB program is a special diet, and Jonah has to be on 1000 IU of Vitamin D3 for it. BUT WAIT, none of the vitamins of supplements your kids have to be on for this can contain any form of SWEETENER, so it’s hard to find one that is a) compliant, and b) the child will actually EAT.

Fit Formula Wellness is LITERALLY the perfect solution. I put it in Jonah’s applesauce, his chili at dinner, his dairy-free yogurt, etc and he eats it up and doesn’t  know it’s there. ALSO, as you may have caught in the sentence above, the diet he is on is also dairy-free, so he really needs that extra calcium. He has refused any other type of milk (almond, coconut, etc.) so he literally only drinks water – which is fine, but also rather devoid of calcium.

Long story long, eventually Fit Formula Wellness heard of my love for their product (through Haley, natch) and asked me to be an influencer for them. I was all, “Um, ok, but I don’t blog anymore.” And they were all “That’s cool, you post lots of other places on social media so we want you anyway!” And I was all, “AWW that’s so nice!”

And then I started blogging again a few week later, so I figured I’d write a bit to tell you all how much I love it, AND AND AND give you a coupon code! ‘Cause you KNOW I loves me a deal.

So, go grab a box of Calcium + D from Fit Formula Wellness for 50% off. Normally $14.99, get yours for HALF THAT here!!  You can get it for EVEN LESS if you subscribe monthly,  it’s just $12.99 and you get 50% off that too! And it will last you a month, and you will LOVE it. The coupon code is “jenny” – ALL lower case.

Oh and I should probably say, I guess this is a sponsored post. Even though I’ve already fulfilled my influencer requirements earlier in the program with Facebook and Instagram posts, just to be on the safe side, so the FCC doesn’t try to squeeze blood from this super dry stone. Opinions are of course, my own.

SO let’s RECAP:

• I’m old an decrepit but I’m managing it naturally and it’s working
• My friend  Haley told me about an awesome product so now I’m telling you
• I love Calcium + D and you should get some
• Use coupon code jenny for 50% off til May 10th
• My 7-year-old son gulps it down and has no idea so it’s also upped my Mom Ninja Skillz

That is all for now my friends! Come back next week and I’ll tell you all about my AGE SPOTS! #SoOld #SoSoOld