Mommy Confessions

Kris Kringle Style

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 22:59:00 +0000

Here's something to entertain you while you wait for our new layout! Happy Holidays!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 23:08:00 +0000

Hello Friends & Fans of Mommy Confessions. As you may have noticed, our site is temporarily under construction as we gear up for a new format to be introduced in 2013. We've enjoyed the last 5 years with all of you so much, but it was time for some changes. Have a wonderful holiday season and we will see all of you in 2013.

School Days, School Days

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 05:35:00 +0000

Confession: I love my kids, but....

I am not having a hard time saying goodbye to the summer! Sure I'll miss the cookouts and pool parties, sleeping later and a more lax schedule, but after almost 3 moths, I. Need. My. Space. For Pete's sake people, it's all that I have!

Just in case you're not fully on board, I've prepared a little helper list for you.

5 things that will help you say goodbye to summer (just in case you're having a hard time)

1. If you're a large busted girl- and lets face it I am, I have 2 words for you: boob sweat.

2. The earlier it gets dark, the earlier I can convince the kids to go to bed.

3. The 3 loads of towels a day can stop.

4. It's easier to hide figure flaws in jeans and hoodies than in bathing suits and sundresses.

And 5. The #1 thing that will ease the pain of saying good bye to summer...

The kids will be gone for 6 hours a day!

I realize this makes some moms sad. I assume they must be those with very quiet, calm, exceptionally well behaved children. Or those with really good drugs. Either way, not me.

Bring on the fall!

Why I can't wait for school to start.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 21:00:00 +0000

Confession: Sometimes you have to cry to blog.

And today, today was a crying day. Nothing especially bad happened. No one was hurt. No one is ill. Just a routine run of the mill summer day filled with your run of the mill chaos. It's just that today, I let it get under my skin. Instead of relishing all of the good, instead of focusing on the awesome, I let the chaos bog me down. I try so hard never to do that. It's no good for the soul.

What is good for the soul, apart from spending these lazy summer days with the ones I love the most, is the approaching end of summer break and inevitable return to school.

The first thing I want to do once school starts is take a bath. Seems like a simple enough desire, right? To me too. Except I haven't taken a bath since I was 8 months pregnant.... WITH MY ALMOST 11 YEAR OLD!

One of three things is happening right now. You are gasping in disbelief- you are thinking about how long it's been since you relaxed in a hot bath- or you're all like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

Listen, I have blogged abut the subject before. I have talked about my lack of personal time. I just try not to do it too often because, well frankly, there are lots of people out there who perceive it as whining, and feel that I live far too charmed a life (nice house, able to stay home with my kids, healthy children) to be whining about anything. And they might be right. But everybody has a bad day sometimes, and that's abut the time I remember that I was once a person before I was the entity now known only as mom or _____'s mom. Before my needs got pushed to the bottom of the list. Before I couldn't read a book, hell, even a chapter, until everyone was fed, washed, clothed, and put down for the night. Before a day without a shower turned into 4 because I was busy planning for Christmas, or a birthday party, or a Tuesday.

So yes, it has been 11 years since I have made time for just me. 11 years since I soaked in a tub with a candle and a glass of wine. 11 years since I had a scheduled time where I could work-out regularly. 11 years since I had a mani-pedi. 11 years since I went to the salon and had my hair colored instead of doing it myself while the kids napped from a $6 box of color I got on sale at Target. 11 years since I had an hour or two carved out to do nothing that has anything to do with cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundering, hosting, or even blogging. And now, for the first time EVER, all the kids will be away from me at school all day!

Sure, I get out occasionally on my own, and by occasionally I mean 4 or 5 times A YEAR. And usually the chaos and mess that I have to deal with upon my return almost makes it not worth it to go. Almost. Except for the fact that if I didn't take those few times that I do have, I might actually go totally ballistic. And when Momma's not happy, ain't nobody happy. Although, I don't think they got the memo around here.

Don't get me wrong, most days I get along just fine. It's a happy, albeit hectic existence. But once in a while....
Today for example, my day was filed with dogs (not just my two but the extra one I am sitting for this week- yes for those keeping score I did sit another dog all of last week as well), anyway, the day was filed with dogs, dishes and diarrhea. Not my finest hour. Still, I keep on keepin' on. I know that there is a relaxing hot bath just around the corner for me. Knowing, knowing that 4 weeks from now, in 29 days from now, in 696 hours from now, in 41,760 minutes from now, in 2,505, 600 seconds from now... I will get my bath.

I know some of you are looking forward to peace and quiet in your homes. I'm sure some of you would love for the endless empire of Legos to finally be toppled. And the parade of kids in and out eating you out of house and home on a daily basis is probably something that you will not miss in a few weeks when school begins. But for me, it all starts with a bath.

As I type this, I have asked the children to give me 5 minutes. 5 minutes to finish up the post I have been trying to write since last night. One of them is singing, another is poking me with a plastic pitchfork, and one of the dogs is licking my feet... so much for 5 minutes of peace.

September 6th. Say it with me... nice and slowly... Sepppptemmmmber 6thhhh. For us, that is when everything just STOPS! At least for one day. The revolving door (both to the pool and the fridge) will slam shut. The food line will come to a halt. And all that you will hear coming from my house, will be the sweet, sweet sound of running water...

Repurposed.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 02:30:00 +0000

One day, I will inevitably blog again. Hopefully, that day will come before all of my readers, subscribers, and advertisers abandon me entirely and forget they ever knew me. Here's the thing- I have suprisingly few things to confess these days. As the kids get older (and more annoying) my stories go more from madcap hijinx like stalking the school bus on the first day, to stuff that can land me on human services radar (It's really okay to drink shots of vodka in the afternoon when they just. won't. listen. right?)

So basically, the blog is in a reevaluation phase. Gone will be the confession format we have known for so long. Gone will be the talk limited to my foibles and faults as a mom. And gone (much to the delight of a few folks I know) will be the white on black.

I can't say exactly when this will take place. Nor can I promise what the new face of Mommy Confessions will be. But, at least I'll have something to say again. And I hope that you will still be here when I do, as you always have. 5 years strong and I thank you!

Mangia! Only not quite so much please.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:48:00 +0000

Welcome to 'No Confession Wednesdays'! Or as I also like to call it- the day where I can't think of anything clever and appropriate for this spot.

Luckily, or perhaps due to a great deal of work and dedication to healthful eating on my part (though luck is probably more like it) none of my kids have a weight issue. I know there are all kinds of reasons why childhood obesity is such an epidemic in our country, and someday, I might have a serious enough blog that I will touch on those issues. But for now, I just wanna talk about my problems. Well, yours too. I guess. But mostly mine- because that’s what we do here.

My 10 year old daughter is average weight and very athletic. My 5 year old son is well, about as average as you can get, scoring 50th percentile for height and weight at his last checkup. And my almost 8 year old is actually pretty tiny, weighing in at barely 50 lbs. So why is it that I feel like I’m raising a band of Sumo wrestlers (no offense to any of my Sumo-esque pals out there)?

These kids are eating me out of house and home!

I’ve gone from shopping at the market to shopping at a wholesale club so that I can get bigger quantities, to being nearly ready to just throw 3 troughs of food out on the floor and let them have at it!

So, do tell, what are you spending on food? Because I am both interested for my personal peace of mind, and also compiling this information for my dissertation- okay I lied about the dissertation part, but you should still totally help me out here. I really want to know where we are on this. I have asked this question before on Facebook, and on Twitter, and the answers I have gotten range from “a mere pittance each week” to “taking out a second mortgage to pay our grocery bill”. I find myself closer to latter.

How many adults in your home? How many children? Any pets? How often do you grocery shop? What is your food budget? Weekly? Monthly?

Please feel free to share this on social media outlets and with friends. There will be a follow up post at some point, and if you feel the need, you can comment anonymously- though I say “man up” and tell it like it is!

Thanks.

Signed, Pantsless in Pennsylvania

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:11:00 +0000

Today instead of a confession, we start with a disclaimer: This post is really depressing. For real. It's like what would happen if you created a bitching club and merged it with Whiners Anonymous and then took away everybody's Zoloft.

As for the title, yes I am aware that I live in New Jersey, but I am from PA and the title just sounds so much better than Pantsless in NJ, don't ya think?

Plus with Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious and Mob Wives and all that crap- Pantsless in NJ sounds like just another day of bad reality t.v., right?

So here I am, in New Jersey not Pennsylvania, sitting around being secretly jealous of other moms- ok not so secretly since I'm blogging about it. So really just sitting around being blatantly jealous of other moms. I'm not talking about celebrity moms or New York Times best selling book published moms- though they hold a special place of jealousy for me- for now I just mean every mom. Yes, every mom on Earth, everywhere period.

Why? Mostly because I feel like they are all getting so much more done in life than I am. I feel like they're all in some secret club of getting-doneness (shut up- I told you before- my blog, my made up words) that I am not a part of.

I just know every one's house is cleaner than mine.

I just know every one's bills are all filed away neatly in a cabinet and not tossed in a box (AKA vortex) next to the desk in the basement FOR FIVE YEARS.

I just know that they all have time to APPLY MAKEUP and comb their hair and put on actual non yoga pants or pajama bottom type clothes.

And I don't get it. What am I doing wrong? Or better yet, what am I not doing wrong?

Yeah I have 3 kids. Yeah I have 2 dogs that are like having an extra kid most days. Yeah I write, I blog, I cook, I clean, I wash fold put away and repeat...repeat...repeat...repeat... but big deal.. so do a GAZILLION other women.

I know moms with 5 and 6 kids who still find the time to go to the gym every day. The gym. Hello? Seriously?

I know stay at home moms who have 4 kids home with them ALL DAY and yet whenever you seem to drop by, everything seems to be perfectly in its place and neat and tidy. So tidy that I wanna "accidentally" spill my cup of Starbucks all over the freshly mopped floor.

I know working moms who work all week, take care of dinner, kids, etc. after they get home and still have the energy to go to book clubs one night a week, and take the kids to the zoo and the park on the weekends.

I try not to obsess over this- as a matter of fact I have made not obsessing over it a mission in my life- to a point where, well, I am obsessing over not obsessing over it.

What the hell am I doing wrong? Or what drugs am I not taking?

Because for real- I feel like all I do ALL DAY LONG in pick up clothes, put away toys, wash dishes, and feed people.

I feel like the house is always a mess.

I have a list of projects as long as my arm, knowing full well that none of them will ever get done. How am I supposed to re stain the dining room set when I can’t even get the stains out of the baseball uniforms?

Every day I set out with a plan- a plan of what I could feasibly get done that day. Maybe it’s pulling up all the weeds in the garden. Maybe it’s reorganizing the filing cabinet so that maybe, you know, files can actually go in it.

But at the end of the day, I have done the same things every single day. I’ve gotten up, fed dressed and sent off the kids. Put in laundry. Emptied the dishwasher. Switched laundry. Made the beds. Folded laundry. Planned dinner. Put away laundry. Retrieved child 1. Made lunch. Probably more laundry. Retrieved other children. Helped with homework. Pretty sure there's laundry involved here. Made dinner. I'm starting to see dryer sheets in my sleep. Cleaned up from dinner. Gotten everyone ready for bed. I swear to *** I am gonna break this ****ing washing machine.

And even if I could pull myself away from the treadmill of domesticity that I ride every day, I still have my doubts that there’d be a shred of difference.

You see, I seldom have a moment to complete a task before the children are bellowing for something. When I do decide to take a moment to say, write this blog post, I will inevitably hear the cries of all 3 kids on at least 2 different occasions. Usually the cries are proceeded by moooooom I want..... mooooooom I need..... or mooooom so and so did......... and there goes the neighborhood! I am off again riding the treadmill. By the time dust settles, most of the time I have forgotten what I had started to do, or like in the case of this post, have had to come back to it 12 or 13 times just to get it done.

Most of this mind you, is my own doing. I would probably get more done if I actually waited until the end of the day to go around and clean EVERYTHING up at once instead of doing it every 15-20 minutes throughout the entire day. I’m not exactly sure who I am afraid will see a “mess” or why i care, but apparently I do.

Not to mention if I didn’t have a fear of leaving my kids unsupervised for more than 3 minutes at a time for fear of what they are going to mess up/ get into/ destroy.

And don’t even get me started on prioritizing or organizing. (What do you mean sitting up pinning pictures of nice kitchens on Pinterest until 1 a.m. isn't a priority?) For real? By then it’s too late to get anything REAL done anyway.

Half the time I feel like I am just getting by, living day to day, just trying to get through to the next one without the house falling down around me. Geez, it sounds a lot suckier than it is really.

It’s just that some days I just feel like a machine. Like I am living life on auto-pilot and I don’t know how to steer myself anymore. Can we say- priorities- out- of- whack? I mean, I don't even bother to appropriately dress myself most days. I mean, I just have to get back into my pajamas later anyway! As long as there's no dishes in the sink, no dog hair on the floor, who cares if I haven't washed my hair in 3 days, right?

Hell, I walk around pantless half the time because if I start getting dressed, the bellows begin. It’s like they sense the fabric softener hitting my body. (I bet you were beginning to wonder where I was going with the whole title thing, weren't ya?)

So as I wander the house pantsless, with kids screaming at each other, begging for snacks, and whatever else kids do, I wonder... CAN I BE THE ONLY ONE? PLEASE DEAR LORD DO NOT LET ME THE ONLY ONE!!! But, I fear that I am. The only pantsless, exhausted, frustrated, haven't had a manicure in 8 years, mom. The only mom that is so time deprived and organizationally challenged that she literally can't even put her pants on.

If it weren't so pathetic, I just might cry. But instead I will laugh. I laugh because there’s really nothing else to do. I’ll laugh because frowning gives you wrinkles way faster. I’ll laugh because I wrote this entire post pantless. And I laugh because after torturing me with the most inane requests for hours and hours on end finally...FINALLY.... one of the kids looks up at me and says, “MOM! Where are your pants?!”

Come on Over to my Crib

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 12:00:00 +0000

So, as I have mentioned before, my sister is expecting her first baby. I am so excited to be taking the baby journey again, since my diaper days are over. My kids are 10, 7 and 5, so we are out of all things baby at the moment. Spending this time looking at baby clothes, shopping for trinkets and toys, has been very exciting- and a little scary! A lot can change in the baby world in just a few years. Seems like every time I shop for a friend or family member who is expecting, the products and services available have changed again. Some of what was cutting edge when my now 10 year old was born, is now almost obsolete.

Having this site, I get a lot of emails from companies who provide products and services to parents both new and old. So whenever I find a useful product or service, I like to pass it on. I always love the sites that do all the legwork for me most of all. Sure some may see it as lazy, I see it as savvy.
If you are a new or expectant mom who is currently shopping around for cribs and crib mattresses right now, I've found something that can help. A site that gives you not only the top rated crib mattresses at your fingertips, but also provides reviews, information on cribs and crib accessories, plus a host of crib safety information and answers.

If you want to know 'how a crib mattress should fit' or 'how much you should spend on a crib' than this is a site you'll want to check out.

It's amazing how fast they grow. A crib and mattress are one of the first big investments you'll make for your baby. Don't leave it to chance. Do your homework. Visit them today.

**This is a sponsored/compensated post. The owner(s) of this blog have been compensated to provide opinions on a product, services, or website. All opinions and findings are honest and completely our own. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are based on our first hand use of the products, services or sites described.**

Deja Vu

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 14:07:00 +0000

Confession: I suck at prioritizing.

Or maybe it's time management that I suck at. Or something else entirely. Whatever the thing is that prevents you from having to do the same 3 or 4 tasks over and over and over again each day- yeah, I suck at that. It's like deja vu all the time.

I mean, you have no idea how many times I do the same things over again in one day.

I mean, you have no idea how many times I do the same things over again in one day.

I pick up the same toys. I clean the same rooms. I put away the same stuff... over and over and over again.

There was a time that I used to wait until the end of the day to pick up all the toys that would collect around the house. I'd wait until the kids were asleep to fold laundry and wash dishes. That didn't last long. The constant voice of my Grandmom in the back of my head telling me that you never know when company might drop by, kept me from leaving the pile of toys on the playroom floor, or the unfolded laundry sitting on the dining room able. I mean, everyone knows if a neighbor drops by to borrow a cup of sugar- which happens all the time (in 1970's sitcoms)- they will certainly think less of you and spread horrible, gossipy rumors around town if there is an unwashed cup in your sink.
Still, for a while I was able to justify the mess. Having a preschooler, a toddler and an infant made it okay. When the neighbors dropped by (which never, ever happened) I could always use the desperate, frazzled, mom excuse. And that totally would have worked too.

But all good things must come to an end. Just like using baby weight as an excuse for that last 10 or 15 lbs is no longer acceptable when the "baby" is going to first grade, so too must you at some point reclaim your home from the throws of babydom.

So now I walk aimlessly through the house picking up a sock here, wiping down a mirror there, putting an abandoned cup in the dishwasher. And once I've washed off whatever that sticky stuff is all over the counter... I can go back and do it over again as new fingerprints cover the mirror, someone else has tossed their socks aside, and 3 more cups have grown in the place of the one I removed.

I really, really want to be one of those moms that has no qualms about having company drop by despite the piles of papers on the dining room table, or the stack of unopened mail piled on the kitchen counter. But, I can't. Something in my biological make-up won't allow it. No matter how many times I tell myself it's more important to have fun with the kids and play games and be silly now- because the cleaning will always be there- I still can't stop thinking about those 3 dishes sitting on the counter from lunch while playing checkers with the kids.

And the process never ends. Because once I go pick up those dishes, they will remind me that I have a load of wash to do. And when I come back from putting in the wash, I'll pick up a toy- a toy I just put away 4 times this morning. And while putting away that toy, I'll walk by the bathroom, where I'll notice toothpaste all over the sink. And while cleaning up the toothpaste, I'll notice a towel on the floor. While walking to put the towel in the wash, I'll notice a jacket on the stairs that needs to be hung- one that I hung up earlier that day. And while I'm hanging the jacket again, I'll see a piece of trash on the floor. And when I get back to the kitchen to throw away that piece of trash, 3 new dishes will be sitting on the table where the old one used to be....

...and this is my lot in life. Don't get me wrong- my house is far from perfect. There's toys in every room, it's totally disorganized, and I have every paper sent home by the school for the past month sitting on the counter- or stuck to the fridge- in triplicate. But, it's a managed chaos. And one I'll have to deal with until my kids all (hopefully) go away to college. Because, once they hit the dorms, they're on their own. And then I'll just have that one last "kid" at home to clean up after....

Baby Bjorn Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 04:40:00 +0000

As promised the last of the 3 posts for giveaways for today. This does not mean the Blogaversary fun is over... stay tuned....

This is one of my favorites! I love me some Baby Bjorn stuff. And when mine were sloppy eating age, okay sloppy-ER eating age, this was awesome! Yes it is the Baby Bjorn soft bib.

No really. It's the only bib you'll ever need.
The bib has a front pocket to catch stray foods and liquids to prevent messes. It's mess proof. Plus it is soft and smooshy, unlike some other spill catching bibs out there.
AND it's made of safe, high-quality PVC-free BPA-free plastic that retains its shape while staying flexible. AND it's dishwasher-safe material is easy to clean or just wipe with a little soap and water.

So yeah, you know you want to win it. Even if you don't have a baby, I'm sure you know someone who does. Or save it as a great shower or new baby gift! I assure you, it's awesome. Now go enter. And share. I know it lowers your chances of winning-- but it's the right thing to do!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nanny Wisdom Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 18:39:00 +0000

Blogaversay madness continues as we give away a copy of Justine Walsh and Kim Nicholson's Nanny Wisdom: Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children From Newborns to Preschoolers.

Just follow the directions below to be entered to win. And check out our other giveaways going on right now!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Microsoft Office Home & Business Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 18:38:00 +0000

Keepin' the party going....
Giving away a copy of Microsoft Office for Home and Business featuring Word, Excel, Power Point, One Note and Outlook.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Blogaversary Madness: Giveaway 1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 14:00:00 +0000

ROBERT HASTY PHOTOGRAPHY GIVEAWAY

This week there is no confession. (Insert gasp here)
It's a rarity, but it does happen. As I mentioned before, Mommy Confessions is celebrating our 5th birthday. And in keeping with the spirit of 5 years of blogging, there will be 5 giveaways in the coming days. Be sure to enter, tweet, post and share this information. I know... I know... the less you share, the better your chances of winning- but, karma and all that...

Today I want to introduce you to Robert Hasty Photography. Specializing in fine art, nature photography, and home decor prints, Robert Hasty's work is truly beautiful. Seriously, every photo is a complete work of art. The man is gifted. And I say that having known him since I was a mere 17 years old-- (when he was not nearly as gifted).

But, my old friend with the incredible eye has graciously agreed to provide one lucky reader with a gorgeous 8 x 12 print of THEIR CHOICE from his store. And trust me... you totally want one!

So you're probably asking, "what do I have to do to win one of these ?" Well, I'll tell you. All you need to do is visit Robert Hasty Photography and look at his work. Come back here and tell me which print you would choose if you won. That's it.
A winner will be picked at random (using random.org) on Monday March 12th.

You can receive additional entries by doing the following:
Follow Hasty Photo on Facebook for 3 additional entries (Yes, we have to check)
Follow Mommy Confessions on Facebook for 3 additional entries
Follow me on twitter @michellew_ for 2 additional entries
Tweet about this giveaway for 5 additional entries (please leave the link to your tweet in the comments section)

So, get cracking. One of these breathtaking prints will look really nice on your wall- trust me.

Go Mommy... It's your... Blogaversary!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 18:59:00 +0000

Confession: I started this blog on a whim-- I didn't think it would last a year.

Here I am. It's the 5th anniversary of Mommy Confessions. This blog has become so much more than just words on a screen. It has become a part of me. It's what I do. It's an extension of who I am. There are many people who don't know me as anything other than Mommy Confessions.

And while I continue to work on other projects and endeavors, I will always come back to where it all began for me-- right here on Mommy Confessions.

To all of the supportive and wonderful readers I have had over the years--- the thousands of people who have made me feel validated in my work by subscribing to my blog, following me on Twitter and Facebook, and most importantly, emailing and commenting about my work-- THANK YOU!

Of course there has to be more than that, right? I mean, 5 stinkin' years you stick by me and all you get is a lousy thank you? Of course not. In honor of my 5th anniversary, I will be doing 5 giveaways this month. The first of which I will announce later this week-- so check back often!

And if you have not done so, be sure to go and like our brand new Facebook page. Yes, we just started a Facebook page. I know-- we're like 4 years late, but whatever...
To the almost 4,000 of you who are following us on Facebook's Networked Blogs, you will still be able to follow us there, but by subscribing to our new page you can get post updates and information all in one place.

So go... like...share... subscribe... follow me on Twitter... like me on Facebook...

There will be rewards. And also cookies. Always cookies.

P.S. If you're looking for the perfect Blogaversary gift... do me a solid and take our survey: Click here to take survey

Where does it come from?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 19:38:00 +0000

Confession: There is a great mystery of parenting that is presently eluding me... can you help?

This is what my floor looks like. A (relatively) clean section of hardwood floor from my dining room.

This is the same exact piece of floor give or take an inch or two) five minutes later. Note the debris. The tiny pieces of paper. The crumbs.

This occurs after my kids walk by. Just walk by. Empty handed. That's it.

Look.... here's another example...

The rug. Yes, it is dirty, but that's how it always looks. The important thing to note is that it was just vacuumed. Now, here it is just seconds after my 3 little tornadoes came running in from another room- presumably one that they just messed up as well.

That is the same floor. Unretouched. A minute later. For real. Note that is a Barbie shoe, a tiny water bottle from some random game, dirt, paper, and what appears to be straw, because apparently, we live in a barn.

Can anyone, ANYONE, explain this phenomenon to me? I am convinced that my kids poop out trash. Little pieces of trash and debris just shoot out of their butts at will as they walk down the hall.

Is there any other explanation?

New Year's: The Redeux

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:57:00 +0000

Confession: I've already broken most of my New Year's resolutions.

Every year I am first reluctant, then excited, to make resolutions for the coming year. I think this is probably pretty common. Everyone enjoys a fresh start. People like to make positive changes in their lives. New Year's, for whatever reason, has become the benchmark of life-changing days.

I think it's safe to say that everybody falters with the resolutions now and then. Of course perhaps not on such epic proportions as I do every year. In fact, this year, I vowed to make NO resolutions. I told myself that I would make the necessary changes I needed in my life instead, whenever I was ready. Maybe I'd stop biting my nails on April 17th. Perhaps I would cut out caffeine on July 18th. No, I did not need the fresh new page of the calender to tell me when and where I needed to make life changes. Still, against my better judgement, I made a bunch of resolutions on January 1st, like so many others.

And here we are. Barely two months into the new year, and I have already fallen back on all of the things I had resolved. Probably deserve it for making such on-the-fly resolutions. I didn't do much soul searching. I probably could have chosen my resolutions from yournewyearsresolution.com- they were that lame.

So, here I am with New Year's: The Redeux. You can call it New Year's: The Sequel, New Year's: Part Two, whatever... I just like the french thing...

And it starts on.... Presidents Day!

Yeah, I know. I just picked the next random sort-of important date on the calender.

My Redeux Resolution? It is one I just know I can stick with...

My resolution is to shower every day. No really. I swear. Stop laughing. Well, laugh if you want, but a mom with 3 kids and 2 dogs who works from home... seriously... showering every day is so 2001. But not anymore. I resolve that every day I will take a shower. Not just because I have a meeting. Not just because my Mom is coming over. Not just because one of the kids puked on me. Every day. Shower. Seriously.
And how do I ensure myself that I will not fail at my task? Good old fashioned consequences. I am not allowed to go on Facebook OR Twitter until I have showered. No for real. I mean it. So you know I'm gonna be lathering up on a regular basis. I've told all of my friends and neighbors. So, if you see me tweeting in the morning, or notice I've just updated my Facebook status, don't be afraid to call me out. I might still be soaking wet and in a towel tapping away at the keys, feeding my social media obsession, but hopefully, I will be successful this time. I mean, a shower, right? Can it get any easier?

So, I ask you. How did you do on your New Year's resolutions? Did you make any? Have you stuck to them? Are you grateful for the chance to do it all again? Or are you wondering why after just denouncing resolutions entirely, I would chose some ridiculous arbitrary day to try and set myself up for failure again?

Whatever the case, I assure you that the object of this exercise is to set you up for success. Only realistic resolutions are allowed!

So join me! Let me know what your Redeux Resolutions are. Leave a comment. Tweet me @michellew_ using #Redeux. Put it on facebook. Whatever. I want to know what you are doing. I want you to succeed.

You're welcome.

Kenmore Blogger Summit Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:37:00 +0000

Confession: I had an even better time than I thought I would.

I know my day 1 recap was a little on the jokey-jokey side, but I'm all about short and sweet when it comes to these things, so I'm not going to deviate too much from what I did after Day 1.
For me, Day 2 went pretty much like this:

I met a bunch of people. Okay, I met a bunch of awesome people.
A bunch of stuff happened.
And then I won THIS:

And really, I could just end this post right there. But in all seriousness (yes, I do that every once in a blue moon)...

Day 2 of Kenmore Blogger Summit took us down to the Kenmore Live Studio in beautiful Chicago. There we were treated to such wonderful things as a cooking demo with The Spicy Chef, Chef Suzy Singh of Master Chef. And then there was the whole oven winning thing.

A real live "Chopped" style, slow cooker competition amongst all of us bloggers. Congrats Fox Force Five for the big win. I'd like to say The Cool Kids (my team) was robbed, but after tasting them all, I had to admit that what they made was really good.
And then there was the whole oven winning thing.

We got a smoothie demo from The Green Grocer Chicago. We had a yummy lunch courtesy of Truffleberry Market Caterers, which curse them for being in Chicago and not New Jersey because I really wanted to marry that salad! And then of course the whole oven winning thing.

I got Jessica Gottlieb to make me an alien hat so we could film a vacuum cleaner commercial. And I am pretty sure I'm now committed to making a large turkey, possibly 2, for both Backpacking Dad and Redneck Mommy. I'm not going to mention the oven thing here. But let's just say I won something big and it rhymes with lovin'.

We heard from some execs at Kenmore who provided us with a host of information about the Kenmore brand, ideas, innovations, products, and technology. My personal fave was Kenmore's Marketing Director, Samuel Monnie. His clear passion for the brand and for seeing it continue to evolve was inspiring. Plus, totally dig the cool British accent, so, bonus. We were also treated to an excellent keynote from Wired Magazine's Editor-in-Chief, Evan Hansen. And then of course, there was the whole oven thing.

Seriously though, I have to tell you that if it was Kenmore's goal to get a group of people to use their reach to sing the praises of Kenmore's new and innovative appliance line, I would have to say: mission accomplished. I mean, I tend to think that bloggers, for the most part, are not the easiest group of people to impress. So when a man opens up a refrigerator door and 40 people squeal like giddy school girls (including the guys), you know something good is going on. I can honestly say that Kenmore impressed me this weekend. A lot. And they impressed a whole lot of other blogger's as well. And I'd say that even if it weren't for the oven. But let's not overlook the oven.

Oh and how could I forget, we got a real treat from Mark Beier of Chicago Fit Club, who, along with Rookie Mom Whitney and Tanis from Redneck Mommy performed what was supposed to be an example of how we can combine simple house cleaning tasks like vacuuming with fitness, but I think it might have actually been fodder for one of those Showtime After Dark movies.

Lastly... the winning idea for the oven! We were asked by Kenmore to write down on their white board throughout the day any ideas or innovations we might have for Kenmore appliances. The folks at Kenmore picked 10 that the loved, and then we the bloggers voted via text or tweet for our faves. My idea: having the front panel of the door on the side by side fridge be a dry erase board (and/or a chalkboard). So tell me, what are some of your ideas for innovations with Kenmore appliances?

Kenmore Blogger Summit Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 07:41:00 +0000

Confession: This whole being alone in Chicago thing isn't too bad.

I'm here. No kids. No spouse. Just me. I flew alone. Except not really alone. Made it to Chicago in the snow for Day 1 of the Kenmore Blogger Summit 2012.
Here's a swell recap:
Morning. Stress. Coffee. Bye kids. Airport. Hey it's Rob! WTF was that noise underneath us? Snow. Oooh pretty hotel. Popcorn. Dressed. Popcorn. Cocktails. Food? Food. Cocktails. Oh hey it's Kenmore. Oh hey it's Google +. Wait, how many +1 hits does Google get every day? Cocktails. A blogger's 9 year old daughter almost makes me cry. Room. Popcorn. Check alarm. Hopefully Sara wakes me up. Check alarm. Shower. Check alarm. Sleep.
I bet you can't wait for Day 2.
And now the fine print: Actually, this is where I have to use some full sentences...
As part of our welcome bag, we got a nifty coupon that you too can use if you'd like.

30% off all regular-price Kenmore small kitchen appliances, cookware, bakeware and kitchen gadgets! The coupon is valid from January 22, 2012 – February 4, 2012 and is valid on regular price merchandise sold by Sears on Sears.com and by Kmart on Kmart.com only.

Enter coupon code 30KENMORE

While I'm writing in full sentences, now would be a good time to tell you that you can follow along with all the fun on Twitter too, by following the hashtag #KBS2012.

Thank you to Kenmore. Sears. Google. The Sofitel. Garrett's popcorn. The lady who made my bed. Whoever was responsible for booking my flight early enough that I got here without incident (since so many others were NOT so lucky). Oh and the creator of these showers.

Tomorrow I'll put up pictures since it's what all the cool kids are doing.
G'night.

Realizing the Dream (and the full text of Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' Speech)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:32:00 +0000

Confession: I can't read this without crying. Can you?

What makes the full text of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech fodder for a mom blog?
I have children. Chances are if your are reading this blog, you may too. It is my hope that my children will always keep the message of Dr. King close to their hearts. I hope that they will understand it- embrace it- help to realize it. Because even today, we are still not there. Not all the way. I hope that when they are my age, they will still get tears in their eyes and pains in their hearts the way I do whenever I see it. But, my hope for them is that they will read it with tear-filled eyes as a reminder of what was; of how far we have come- and not, as I have, as a reminder of all that still needs to be done.

Full text:

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we’ve come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we’ve come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the “unalienable Rights” of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.”

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we’ve come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: “For Whites Only.” We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”¹

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest — quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim’s pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

More Kenmore Stuff? Will the Fun Ever End?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 06:20:00 +0000

Confession: I'm not much of a cook. Or much of a housekeeper. Or laundress. Is that a word?

Luckily, I rock in other areas!
And luckily, I have readers that are good at those things.
I think.
I hope.
So here's the deal.
This whole Kenmore thing.
Not only do they want to bring me out to Chicago...
but they want to give YOU stuff too.
They seem super cool that way.

But, time is of the essence.
So, if you want a chance to win...
you'd better get cooking.
haha
No pun intended.
Okay totally intended.
They make stoves and stuff.
Get it?
Of course you do.
Anyway...
You know I don't do giveaways any more but this is a good one.
And you know since they're paying for my hotel and airfare and all that....
Here's what you can win:
$100, $50, and $25 Sears gift cards.
And
Here's what you need to do:

Submit a short video showing your most unusual, yet practical use of a common household appliance.

Submit your video via email to michellewolfson1 at yahoo.com with the subject line “Creative Uses Giveaway” on or before January 18, 2012 at 7 pm CST. I'll select five (5) entries from those submitted and forward them to Kenmore who will determine the prize winners.

But Michelle, it's not much time.
I know dude. That's why you need to totally get on that, like right now.
Wait.
Before you go.

THE RULES:

1. Unless the brand name of your appliance is Kenmore, it cannot be visible in the video. Cover them with tape (or anything else), or just turn it so you can't see the name- whatever. Pretty please!

2. Format: Uncompressed Quicktime files at 1920×1080 16:9 are preferred. Any uncompressed file would be best, and the bigger the format, the better.

3. Entries close at 7pm CST on January 18, 2012.

4. This giveaway is for U.S. residents only.

So, um, I guess happy videoing.
If I had any creative uses for appliances myself, I might submit a video too.
But I don't.
Ooh but maybe after this summit I will!

Good luck.

Is Kenmore Going to Be Mad that I used the Word "Hell" in This Post?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 01:16:00 +0000

Confession: I may have sold out.

Nah. not really. But....
I've been blogging for 5 years now. In the course of that 5 years I have been invited to many, many blogging events, boot camps, seminars, summits, and all facets of things blog related. And although SO many of them have been really fun and enticing offers, I have been extremely limited in what I have accepted over the years. For one thing, I never leave my kids. I know there is a mixed bag of opinions on this. That's for another time. Besides the kids, I have a whole host of other reasons why I have limited myself to a very select few local(ish) events over those 5 years.

And although the coveted invitation to Disney has continued to elude me all of these years (hey Disney if you're reading this- you should totally invite me), I have had a few very nice offers that I have had to decline. And by the way Kenmore... if you have any friends over at Disney and wanna put in a good word... just sayin'.

Call it serendipity. Call it kismet. Call it overworked mommy-itis. But, as luck would have it, an offer came in the other day that I was actually willing and able(ish) to say yes to. Kenmore has invited me to be a part of their 2012 Blogger Summit in Chicago later this month.

Kenmore. You know Kenmore. You are probably thinking of your Grandma's washing machine right now, aren't you? Well, let me ask you this- does this look like your Grandma's washer?

Didn't think so.
So yeah, I'm actually excited to go out to Chicago, meet with 43 other bloggers, and hear and see what Kenmore has to offer.

So yeah, 43 other bloggers are heading to this summit too. So allow me to spill the beans right here. There are more reasons than 3 little bundles of joy that keep me from hitting every major blogging event in the country.

I have anxiety issues. At present I am trying to bribe someone to drive me to the airport AND hold my hand until I get on the plane. I'd buy a ticket for them to hold my hand all the way to Chicago too if I could afford it!

I hate not sleeping in my own bed.

I worry the whole time I am gone about what is going on at home in my absence.

In other words, I am the life of the party!

All of this- but wait, there's more.

I drink.
I have tattoos.
I choke on everything.
I snore.
I swear like a truck driver.
and If I drank milk, I'd probably drink it right from the carton.
Basically, you're gonna love me.

**If there's a roommate situation, I apologize in advance.**

Last year I heard there was some shenanigans where they put the mommy (and daddy) bloggers up against the food bloggers in some sort of competition. Now it IS Kenmore, so presumably this could have been some type of cooking event, I am not sure. But, I will tell you this- putting me in any type of cooking event, is a potentially dangerous proposition. I'm 99% sure that show Worst Cooks in America is loosely based on my life story. Anyway...

So, about the 43 other blogs that will be represented in Chi-town- Is it okay to call it Chi-Town? Or do people in Chicago hate that as much as people in San Francisco hate it when people call it Frisco?
Ugh... train of thought.... train of thought. Right. The blogs... Some I've read. Some I had heard of but had never read. And some are brand new to me. But after this, I will know them all. And I am sure in just a few weeks, we can all call ourselves old friends. Or maybe we can all call each other terrible names behind each other's backs. We'll see how it pans out.

You Want 55 Bucks to Do WHAT?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Confession: I don’t really get into all the high-maintenance girly stuff.

I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be into fashion; to keep up on what’s in style. I’ve tried to get with the latest beauty tips and trends and try to keep up. But, who has time? Or money? Or TIME?

I’ve frequented some really good beauty on a budget sites. I’ve scoured over some of the better blogs about how to stay fashionable and stylish after the frumpy mommy syndrome has set in. Truth is, I just don't think I have it in me. Never have. Well, maybe not NEVER. But the last time I was genuinely concerned about something like matching my purse to my shoes, or if I was wearing the right lipstick shade for my skin tone, I was probably about 15. No lie.

Sure, if I’m going out I’ll ditch the sweat pants I’ve probably been wearing for 3 days in a row. I might even fix my hair and throw on a little make-up. But most likely, it’s going to be simply throwing on a pair of jeans and boots. And a quick bun and a little mascara and lipstick are probably all you’re going to coax from me. Because really, at the end of the day, I just don’t need it. I don’t need the extra work, the extra effort, the doing and undoing, and all the extra expense, to feel good about myself. I am a low-maintenance girl.

There it is. It’s out in the open. My husband would likely argue this fact all day. He would likely tell you that I am most definitely NOT a low maintenance girl. In fact, he believes me to be rather high maintenance. However, I believe this stems from the fact that he has never actually had any long term interaction with a truly high maintenance chick. Plus, his view of what constitutes high maintenance and mine probably differ greatly, I’d like to think I will still win this argument.

Case in point, I still shave my legs- and other “stuff” too. Now, how many high maintenance mommas still shave? Probably few. Chins don’t count. They are all waxed or lasered or electrolifyed, or somehow otherwise professionally groomed. Hubs needs to have the full appreciation that I still use a $5 pack of pink disposable razors to get the job done, just like I did when I was 16.

And he should be glad of it. I mean, not that he wouldn't appreciate the smooth and silky results of one of those other high maintenance approaches- I think he would. But I don’t think he would be thrilled by my spending half a week’s grocery money to have a veritable stranger assault these gams with a hot wax bath, in what can only be likened to what they must use to get stoic captive spies to give up secret intelligence. And I know that I wouldn't be thrilled having Svetlanana, the barely intelligible hot waxer, elbow deep in my hoo-ha with her wax strips to do monthly maintenance. Sorry, but no frackin’ way! And yes, I know there are options that don’t have to be considered assault and battery in 12 states, but I venture to guess that they cost even more!

So yes, this is one reason I consider myself low maintenance. I mean, don’t even get me started on my $7 box of hair color from Target. Or my do-it-at-home for free manicure.

So, he can call me high maintenance allll he wants to. But at the end of the day when I go out, I feel fine about how I look. And hopefully so does he. And I didn’t have to spend 200 bucks like some of my more well-groomed counterparts.

**200 bucks is a guesstimate based on a leg and bikini wax, hair color, and manicure. I have no idea how much any of these things *actually* cost since I don’t do them. Could be higher. Could be lower, Though based on the sad faces of my male friends whose wives spend a lot of money on this stuff, I am guessing it is *not* lower.**

Love ya honey. Now, you better recognize.

If You Give a Mom a Laundry Basket...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 03:15:00 +0000

Confession: Some days it is just plain hard to get things done.

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like my days are like the book If you Give a Mouse a Cookie?

Not familiar? Let me run it down for you. Basically it is a series of cute kids books that describe a whimsical and funny chain of events that occur when you try to do one thing, but each of the things that you do, leads you into a continuing chain of events that actually preclude you from doing the very thing that you wanted to originally do.... sort of... well, that's how I'm telling it any way.

My husband sometimes wonders why it takes me an entire day to fold a basket of laundry. Yes, one basket. Maybe because what transpires usually goes a little something like this:

Pull clothes from dryer and put in basket. Place basket down on my bed for a second to go help yelling son wipe his butt. Come back to get basket. Notice on the way back to basket that dog has chewed up contents on trash can and strewn them throughout the family room. Start to clean up mess. Phone rings. Answer phone and converse briefly with sister-in-law on other end. What was I doing again? Oh right, folding the clean laundry. Have to finish picking up that mess the dog made first. Go to grab a trash bag. Notice while getting a trash bag from the cabinet that I am out of dish soap. Go to write dish soap on my grocery list. Where is my grocery list? Note that middle child has taken grocery list and turned it into an art project. Follow trail of crayons and markers to her room. Pick up crayons and markers from floor. While picking stuff up from floor notice seven pair of underwear underneath her bed. Remove said underwear and place in hamper (Is it dirty? Probably not, but I'm not taking any chances). What was I doing again? Oh right, folding the clean laundry. Back track down the hall, putting grocery list back, and finishing picking up dog's mess on the way back to where I left that darn laundry basket. Begin to fold laundry. Fold two shirts. Doorbell rings. It's a package. Put package aside. Walk back towards laundry. Hear the calls of my son. He wants me to open the box. Spend 5 minutes explaining why I can't open the package it's not addressed to me. Listen to 10 minutes of how he needs said box to complete his fort masterpiece he has been working on for the Fort Olympics. Agree to help him find another box. Locate another box in garage. Oh hey there's more dish soap! Come back to the laundry basket, fold two more shirts... that's 4 if you're playing along at home. What was I doing again? Hear the bus... here come the other two. Time for after school snack... homework... dentist appointment.... dinner.... showers.... dishes . Gotta get back to that laundry. Stop to pick up the wet towels. Get everyone ready for bed. Distribute drinks of water to the parched masses. Collapse in a heap on my... oh hey what's that?... the laundry basket!
Better luck tomorrow!
So, which kids book is most like your life?

*Lovingly dedicated to Donna. Why? Well, because she liked it, and I'm that easy, that's why*

Mission Accomplished

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:10:00 +0000

Confession: I'm not afraid of as much as I thought I was.

I've always felt afraid. I couldn't really put my finger on what I was afraid of, but I knew I was afraid.
It's funny, when Megan said that you don't even realize it but every day you are faced with confronting your fears- some that you didn't even know that you had- she was so right. Every day facing your fears isn't necessarily about staring down a tarantula or climbing to the top of the Empire State Building. Facing your fears could be as simple (or as complicated) as putting yourself out there, oh say, maybe writing a blog?
I've been trying to think of what I have done in the past few weeks to make myself worthy of Operation Eleanor. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what my biggest fears are. And I realized that this right here, is right up there. I'm talking real close to the top. Putting myself out there each and every day. The fact that I opened myself up, let my guard down, and put my life out there for anyone and everyone to see, is mind boggling. The fact that I've been doing it for 5 years, astounding.

For me, today, facing one of my fears meant nothing more than posting a blog post.

A life full of Eleanor...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:56:00 +0000

Confession: I am really bad at facing my fears. I'm talking really bad. Really, really, really, horribly, miserably, almightily bad.

Did I mention bad yet? It seems to be a recurring theme. Another recurring theme for me? Eleanors. So let me explain how my fear of fear, and my love of Eleanors mesh.
It's all about facing your fears. I've mentioned how much I love to face my fears, right? And as I found in a visit to Megan's blog the other day, I am not the only one who lacks in the whole confronting your fears head-on department. As a matter of fact, their is a whole slew of us. A big, scardey-cat slew of non fear-facers. And then their is one blogger, who is trying to stare down her fears, and drag us all kicking and screaming with her. Now mind you, this was supposed to be a 30 day endeavor. You know, like tackle a fear that you have every day this month. Even if I had arrived on time, I don't know that I would have the stones to face down 30 fears in 30 days. But, since I came to the party 35 days after it started, I reeeealy didn't have a prayer.

But even though Megan's month-long Operation Eleanor endeavor is technically over, I still feel like I need to face down at least one of my fears. ONE. One, I can surely do. And maybe one will turn into 2. Perhaps 2 into 3.... I mean it's the holiday season- that itself is chock full of fear-facing opportunities, right?

I have to do it. I have to do it because I like and admire Megan. I have to do it because I am an asshole, who despite being a friend of hers on Facebook, a follower on Twitter, and a fairly regular blog reader of hers, did not know until like 3 weeks ago that she was getting a divorce (as of like a YEAR ago).

And I had to do it for Eleanor. For all the Eleanors. Because, I knew as soon as I heard the name of this endeavor that it was right up my alley. Eleanor was my Grandmother, my heart's, name. Eleanor is the middle name of my famous daughter #2. And Eleanor's Angles is our brain tumor Race for Hope team.
So it seems only fitting that I would have to be a part of Operation Eleanor.

So now I will start my own 30 day Operation Eleanor endeavor. I can't promise that you'll hear from me every day, or even every week. What I can promise is that in the next 30 days, I will face at least one of my fears, stare down one of my demons, or do something that makes me otherwise ridiculously uncomfortable.

Stay tuned.....