Mommy Marks

Costco, mom’s drug of choice!

2011-10-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

I think I am addicted to Costco. Maybe it is the great deals? Maybe the variety of items they carry? I don’t exactly know what it is but I do know that I like the way I am feeling while in the store. I am on top of the world; it is my adult Disney World. The anticipation of the visit thrills me, while there I am on cloud nine, and after I leave I have withdrawals. Costco is my drug of choice!!!

Two days prior to a Costco trip I hunt down the coupon pack to see what type of good deals I can get (I them often, forget the coupons at home but it is the thought that counts, right?). The day before the magical visit I write out a list of the necessary items, at the bottom of the list in all capital letters I write the projected cost, and then below that in all capital letters and underlined and circled twice I write the amount budgeted for the trip (then as soon as I enter the store the list is quickly forgotten, as well as the budget, and I am grabbing whatever looks good and taste good, damn those samples! Who needs a savings account; we will just rename it the Costco account. Problem solved!).

Now, Costco used to be a trip just for mom with maybe one or two children in tow but the secret is out. I have come home one to many times beaming with joy. Then entire family wanted in on this Costco High. So, the day of the big trip the entire family piles into the car and we are off. It is unusually quiet as each family member fantasizes about the amazing things that are to come.

Finally we arrive!!! Pure joy is on everyone’s face. This trip this weekend, like many before, did not disappoint. First stop, the toy isles, and no, that was not on our list. We thought it would be fun to let the kiddos start their lists for Santa (not sure if you heard but Santa is also a big fan of Costco). ~~I want~~ Mya wants the awesome Barbie case with Barbie make-up and nail polish in it. ~~My hubby~~ Max would like the Star Wars set and I am pretty sure Maddy would like one of everything. After the toy isles we were off to find the items we initial came into the store to purchase (you know those boring staples like milk, eggs, and laundry detergent which they strategically have place in the far back corner, clever Costco, clever! ).

On the way to the Laundry detergent mama got a new cook and an assistant cook (my old one is up for grabs if anyone is interested, I have provided a great reference).

New cook and assistant cook

Mama also got her copping mechanisms (gotta have my coffee, hot in the morning, and cold in the afternoon).

Copping mechanisms

Daddy got new shirts and socks. Max kept saying something but we were to distracted by the lures of Costco. He finally grabbed a hold of the front of the cart and directed me towards samples. He so eloquent expressed that we were not moving fast enough to the next sample and a Mom must okay the sample before they can have it. So he grabbed that cart like it was my leash and sent me on a zigzag path towards the laundry detergent hitting every sample along the way.

Unfortunately our shopping excursion had to come to an end (they close at six). So we headed toward the checkout. Mya was now juggling five samples in one hand (we will have to bring a tray next time for her; she seems to think Costco has a creative cafeteria thing going on). So we checked out spending more than we had initially planned and excited as all heck to get home and try out our purchases.

Once home, like a drug, the high slowly wears off until the following week when I can start preparing for our next visit.

Hello, my name is Kat and I am addicted to Costco. Does anyone know if there are any CA meeting around here?

Costco Addict

Therapeutic Thursday

2011-10-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

They say (therapist) that people deal with their problems in various ways. Women however tend to fall under one of three categories; bury their problems in food, the crying till you’re a hot mess and panting like a dog, and then there are the throw yourself into a project type. I fall under the latter category.

So, fueled by my therapeutic needs and three cups of coffee, I am ready to embark on the Sensational Changing of Seasons Session!

It’s time to say goodbye till next summer.

I know what you are thinking; the
Duggars must live here, right?

Time to go through the good old checklist to see who will make the cut:

· Pockets - Found some money and some funky gooey stuff in mama’s coat pocket. EWW! Money!

· Buttons- mama is missing like three buttons (not a problem, I have safety pins… genius, right?).

· Zippers- daddy’s zipper doesn’t work (he will have to wear a heavy sweater with his coat)

· Sizes- mama’s coat is a little big but that might be because I wore it while I was pregnant. Oh, that’s how I lost those buttons (the sacrifices we make for our babies, if they only knew; now I am button less). Max’s bomber jacket is too small but it is so cute. Maybe I can put Maddy in it, or will that appear as though I am raising a little lesbian? I don’t care, it is cute, butch or not, she is wearing it! Oh, and the Fireman jacket, it is adorable. She will wear that too. Great, now I am raising her to be one of the village people.

· Overall condition- Wow! Some of these need to be Dry Cleaned, what’s that? Please! Mama on a budget translation-wash them separately, say a little prayer they turnout okay, and place them on the line to dry.

Alright! Coats are complete, onto hats, mittens, gloves, scarves, and whatever additional random stuff might be lurking in the winter gear basket.

I try to color coordinate their winter hats and

mittens so that they can be interchangeable.

Sweet! This was a breeze thanks to my efforts last spring and my nifty mitten technique. I washed everything in the Spring time so it is fresh and ready for wear. I also adopted a new wintertime routine last year. Instead of wet mitten being rolled up into a ball and thrown in a basket far from its matching mitten we instilled the Pin-a-Pair technique. Each child places their mittens together with clothes pins when they are finished playing in the snow. It worked like a charm. I am happy to say that out of fifteen pairs of mittens on two currently separated (but not divorced, I am still holding out hope that they will reconcile).

I love how all baby girl stuff is white or a light color.
Hello, how am I suppsoed to conceal dirt/stains?

Max's, going for all blues and grays.

This mom is prepared, bring it on Mother Nature! (Side note, I just checked the weather and it is suppose to be 80 degrees tomorrow. I am getting a smack down from Mother Nature, ouch! So my kids will be the only ones at the farm tomorrow with pants and sweaters on. That’s okay; I will bring extra water to keep them hydrated.).

Real housewives of Beverly Hills vs. a Real housewife of Toledo

2011-10-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I just finished watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. All I have to say is $25,000.00 sunglasses. What!!! Who spends $25,000.00 on sunglasses? REALLY!! I have a tough time fathoming spending $25,000.00 on anything let alone a pair of sunglasses. So, it got me thinking, just what do I have in common with these “housewives”, if anything?

They have a cook…. I have a cook.

They have a driver….I have a driver.

They have staff to walk their dog…I have staff to walk my dog.

They have maids…I have a maid.

They have security…I have security.

I guess our lives aren’t that different after all. Well, I am off to see about getting a second mortgage on my house so I can get me some kick ass shades.

Thrifty Thursday

2011-09-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

Thrifty Thursday

I said a little prayer last night that today be a “normal” Thursday. My prayer was answered! Everything ran smoothly today. I dropped off the kiddos at their schools, Maddy actually had an uninterrupted nap, and I was able to spend some much needed time with a few appliances (dishwasher and washer/dryer).

Poor Alligator never stood a chance.

How can he compete with Power Rangers & Brobee?

After picking up Max I decided to checkout a local second-hand store near my house. Mya needs some pants so I figured I’d give it a gander. I was surprised at how clean the store was there wasn’t a ton of stuff piled up like other second hand stores. Unfortunately there were no pants in Mya’s size but there were some nice Halloween costumes. Max screamed when he found the Power Ranger costume, it was the red Power Ranger and his absolute favorite. So we added a costume to our make-believe box.

Runner up, in case the power ranger can’t

fulfill its obligations Brobee will step in.

He put on the costume as soon as we got home and has been wearing it ever since. I’d say we have already gotten our moneys worth. Wish me luck convincing him to take it off tonight.

Yes, he even wore it to go pick up his sister from school.

I don’t wanna...I don’t wanna!... I DON'T WANNA!!!

2011-09-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

Four days before it struck.

Now, based upon the title of the entry you are probably thinking that I will be discussing a recent toddler tantrum or a preschooler protest but you would be wrong. I don’t wanna…. I don’t wanna! I DON'T WANNA!!!....is the statement that was repetitively playing in this modern day mopin’ mama's mind. Why? Well, it all started last Wednesday.

Hours before it struck. We will be seeing those muffins again.

It started off as an innocent Wednesday. We did our usual Wednesday routine. Dropped off Mya at Kindergarten, went to baby story time at the library, had a lovely lunch…yada…yada…yada. That evening the dog got sick and that’s when this mama went into survival mode. (See, the flu usually strikes the dog first, weird, right?) I checked the status of our laundry situation, specifically towels, I cleaned out all buckets, I made sure fluids were stocked and ready for ingestion, medication was available for all ages and ample, clean sheets were a go, I was prepared. If the stomach flu was going to strike my family I was prepared for the battle, BRING IT!

Thursday Mya got sick at school and I picked her up. It appeared to be an isolated case. She never got sick again, it appeared to be one of those common kiddo conditions when they eat a lot of food then go run around and puke a minute later. My son is notorious for doing this but it is usually with the help of his little friend called the sit-n-spin. Please, they should call it the eat-sit-spin-puke. I digressed. So, since it was isolated, and nothing happened Friday or Saturday morning this mama let her guard down. Bad idea, that’s when ‘it’ goes in for the sneak attack, as if ‘it’ can sense when you are the most vulnerable.

My allies in this battle.

It hit our family Saturday night without warning. It hit Mya. Then while I was in the process of tending to her it struck Max. NO!!!! I felt so defenseless. I thought we were out of the woods, so in my carelessness I thought I could change the sheets on Friday and then take a day off from laundry on Saturday (God rested on the seventh day, have I learned nothing, wait till Sunday) So, to my dismay I was no longer prepared. But I was not going to give up without a fight. I hauled ass down to the washing machine and I started doing laundry like it was going out of style (what does that even mean?). But I couldn’t keep up. I hate to admit it but after a certain point any article of clothing that no longer fit a child was subject to earning the distinctive title of puke soaker-upper (as well as that ugly shirt my hubby liked-shhh. Oh, you know there is a shirt of your hubby’s that you are just praying earns the same title). I am not proud of it but I had to do what I had to do to stay on top of this crazy battle. Then, as if the flu could see that I was making a comeback it hit below the belt. It wanted to hit me where it hurts, it hit the baby, that bastard!

This morning...

So, as I slowly walked back to my car in the pouring rain, no make-up, feet and sneakers soaked from the gosh darn puddles, wearing my PJs under my coat after dropping off my one healthy child at school I contemplated what awaited me at home. At home was a son who can’t make it to the bathroom or the bucket, and never lays down. No, he jumps around like a power ranger puking here and there as he goes, leaving puddles of puke everywhere and my curious 13-month-old is willing to play in anything (I won’t get to graphic you might be eating). I knew that as soon as I got home I needed to clean up the puddles from this morning, clean up the baby, do lot’s of laundry, explain a million times why you can’t eat after puking, sanitize the house, and chase around my preschooler with a bucket, I just wanted to say forget about it (I know what you were thinking). So, as I continued my rainy stroll back to the car a little tear escaped my eye and in my mind I was chanting...I don’t wanna…I don’t wannn..I DON’T WANNA!! But, home I went ……

Mama and Munchkin’s Meal Marathon

2011-09-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Evolution of dinner time….

Mealtime has drastically changed in the past eight years. I remember when we were newlyweds and I would search cookbooks for intricate recipes in hopes of impressing my new hubby. I would slave over the stove and carefully present the food on his plate. I would even go as far as wiping a spot of sauce from the side of his plate. I was a five star restaurant chef.

Then after a year or two we got comfortable. No longer were we eating at a table. We would both come home from work exhausted (we didn’t even know the meaning of the word back then, no kids and exhausted, please!) plop down in front of the television and that was that. We were the couch potato couple.

Flash forward to year three of our marriage and we had just welcomed a baby girl. Dinner became whatever could be delivered or dropped off. How was I supposed to prepare meals, work, and take care of a baby? (If I only new then what I know now). I was the drive-thru/delivery drama mama.

On to year four of our marriage and we were a happy family of four. We realized routine and dinner at the table would be a good tradition to start adopting now that we had a one and two year old. So, I would prepare three different dinners everyday, puréed fruits and vegetables for my one-year-old, finger foods for the two-year-old, and I started preparing classy meals again for my husband and me. I was a short order cook.

During years five and six I began to bring back the more formal dinning experience and dinner would take roughly 30-45 minutes to prepare. I would occupy the children with some activity in the kitchen while I cooked. I enjoyed spending quality time with the children while I prepared dinner. We had a nice routine and the meals were, healthy and delicious. I was the perfect cook and mother.

Fast forward to year seven and eight. We are always on the go and there is hardly time to eat dinner let alone prepare dinner. But,I think I have finally figured it out; it is possible to have fast and convenient meals that are also nutritious for your entire family with minimal preparation everyday. With the help of two little appliance friends called the slow cooker and the freezer. Taking a couple hours every other week to prepare future meals saves so much time during the week. Also, preparing meals ahead of time is a fun experience when the entire family gets involved. We have found that the preparation of the meals is the perfect opportunity for the kiddos to learn about nutrition, science, art, and more.

Preparation is the key for this mama of three.

I so enjoyed preparing meals with the kiddos today. First I sat down and wrote out the menu for the next three weeks. Then the kiddos helped me prepare those meals. We added five frozen meals to our freezer, boiled eggs for lunches this week, and made some yummy chocolate chip muffins.

Thrilling Thursday (It sounded better than Throw-up Thursday)

2011-09-22T12:18:00.000-07:00

Max played photographer this morning.
Granted he cut off my forehead but he really captured
the optimism in my eyes.

Well, today started off like any ordinary Thursday. I got up around 6:30am to get the laundry going, get the oatmeal on the table, and make the coffee. But to my surprise I had used the last of the coffee Wednesday afternoon. This mom has gotta stay caffeinated and I like my iced coffee in the afternoons. I had just thought there was another can of coffee for the morning, whoops, my bad. Unfortunately in order for the show to go on this mama needs her caffeine so I did the unthinkable. I drank the thick, nasty, 3 ½ tablespoons of coffee that were left in the bottom of the pot from the day before. This is not something I am proud of but it had to be done. People were depending on me today I needed to be sharp!

So after my coffee conundrum I got the kiddos going. Everyone ate, brushed, washed, brushed, changed, packed, walked, buckled, and we were off to play the Will we make it on time game. I am sure other moms are quite familiar with this game. If not, here are the basic rules, you may only go five miles over the speed limit, do not hit anyone, basically follow the law, and have each child arrive on time. This is the fun part; both children must arrive at different locations but at the exact same time. In order to win you must strategically determine your vehicles route. Things to keep in mind when playing, green arrow routes vs. no green arrows to turn left, cut-through streets are advised, turn down radio in order to limit distractions, also keep responses to children short and do not entertain a conversation, you need to put your entire mind into the game. There will be barriers placed periodically. Barriers to lookout for include, a funeral procession, city workers cutting tree limbs, road work, accident, first responders, slow-ass drivers, crazy-ass drivers, the good old ‘I am going to get across all five lanes and I don’t care who I make late in the process’ drivers, squirrels running across the road, and many more.

So I strategically played my game this morning and I was victorious! My daughter arrived twelve minutes early to kindergarten and my son arrived right on time to preschool. On to the next game of the day, How much can I save at the super market?

Maddy Grace with her smiling face

behind the wheel, the grocery store will never be the same again.

Unfortunately I did not save as much as I would have liked due to the fact that my one year old was not being cooperative. Though, it should be noted this is the first time I have gone without my preschooler to help me. Boy is he a good helper, seriously. I find it amusing that it is easier for me to go to the grocery store with all three kiddos as oppose to just one. Anyway, Ms. Maddy started off all excited in the little car that is attached to the cart. She was all smiles and giggles while she honked the horn. Then, two minutes later she was bailing. So I did what any ~~good~~ great mother would do in this situation and I bribed her with food. That always get them to ~~shut up~~ be happy. So we managed to get through produce while she ate some puffs then proceeded to throw them all over the floor. So I held her for a few minutes which SO did not work! I could not juggle coupons, list, food, baby, pushing that darn car cart with no child in it (it is impossible, you hit everything) and coffee. Something had to give. So I put the baby in the cart and opened up a box of gold fish crackers, like any ~~great~~ good mother would do. I walked through the dairy and TP isle then she started throwing the gold fish crackers over the side of the cart while waving bye-bye. AHHHHHH…I needed to get food for the family but at what cost…my sanity…my baby's? So like any ~~good~~ mother would do I went down the toy isle and grabbed a couple toys to entertain her while I finished shopping. At which point I would pull them away and toss them into the nearest bin/shelf and she would scream at the top of her lungs. But that would be in the future, and I would worry about that then, she is happy now. At this time I had about fifteen minutes before I had to be in the checkout line in order to have enough time to pack up the car and drive to pick up my preschooler. Well, long story short, I grabbed the necessities, pried the toys, she screamed, I gave her my phone, she smiled, she dropped the phone, it broke into pieces, we both wept, and then we got in the car to pick up my little man. Unfortunately this was not my best round of How much can we save at the Super market but I did survive it so, I will chalk it up to a success.

Content but clearly upset with me.

She is definitely saving the drama for her mama.

I managed to pick up my little man on time and we headed home and once there we unpacked the car, unloaded the groceries, placed reusable bag back in car (otherwise I forget them), made their lunch, they ate lunch, and then kiddos went down for a nap. I have been waiting for this all week, an hour to myself. I planned on folding laundry, making lunch for tomorrow and some muffins for breakfast, leaving me with ½ an hour to read my book. Then it happened, just like last Thursday. The phone rang. NOOOOOO! I began screaming in my head of course because the kiddos were trying to sleep.

It was my daughter’s school. I was informed that she threw up and needed to be picked up. So I got everyone up from nap time and into the car to go pick up my throw-upper. Gosh darn it! I yelled as I drove to pick her up, I was so close this week. Last week it was my son requiring appropriate footwear and this week it was my daughter throwing up. I started laughing; God must have a sense of humor. Then I quickly stopped and seriously considered the fact that something could occur next Thursday as well. Should I fear Thursdays? No, as the proud champion of Will we make it on time, I will embrace Thursday! I will find the unknowing, the mystery, the excitement of it all thrilling! So welcome to my first installment of Thrilling Thursdays.

So close!

SOCKS & SHOES

2011-09-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. This morning started off so promising then it derailed.

I got both kiddos to school on time. HOLLER!! I did the verbal mommy double-check before we left. You know the one, when you are upstairs frantically trying to get your underwear on the right way while yelling downstairs to confirm that all items are packed in their bags and SOCKS & SHOES are on their feet. I had received confirmation from both children that they had all the necessary items in their school bags and their SOCKS and SHOES were indeed on their feet. So I threw on my clothes, grabbed the baby, a food bar of some type (my diet has been consumed with fiber bars, protein bars, anything in bar form really, ever since school started) and my keys and we headed out the door. Once at school I parked the car grabbed the kiddos walked my little kindergartner to her class where she had a surprising meltdown but we got threw it. I checked the time, hauled ass back to the car which was park strategically at the end of a dead-end street so that I can turn back down the same street avoiding crazy traffic (K-8 grade school and all parents drop off their kids, you can image the traffic). So, I buckle the baby back into her seat, Max, my preschooler, buckles up and we are off. We have ten minutes to get five miles. This may seem feasible but rush hour occurs thanks to the entire school needing to be dropped off before their parents head to work. The baby cries the entire way there, my inquisitive preschooler has questions just rolling off his tongue, and I am desperately trying not to hit the brake happy elderly individual in front of me. Brake! Accelerate. Mommy why don’t we have two noses? Brake! Mommy why do we have five toes? Accelerate. Mommy all the food in my stomach goes to my brain? Brake! Finally, we did it! I unbuckle the baby take Max’s hand walk into school take off his jacket, quickly write his name in his jacket (changing of seasons always catches me off guard- 75 degrees one day and 45 the next, come on! ), and drop him off in his room.

Upon arriving at home after dropping Max off I opened the door to a quiet house and an excited feeling poured over me. I was finally going to get my moment to catch up on some much needed house work and perhaps even have half a moment to spare just for myself. So I put on the nap music and put the baby down for a nap. As I walked back downstairs I felt like a child on Christmas morning. It was peaceful, (minus the cat and dog squabbling because the dog is forever sniffing the cats butt, but that was small compared to the grand scheme of things). Ah, I allowed myself to finally exhale. After two crazy weeks I was finally going to have a little time to myself. Then, it happened, the phone rang. My heart sank a little as I answered the phone. I looked on the caller ID and it was my son’s preschool, I answered it. The program director asked me if I knew why she was calling. I wanted to say, because you knew I was so close to having a moment to myself and you wanted to congratulate me? But I knew better, so I simply replied a quick, no. She then informed me that my son was wearing flip-flops, which goes against the rule. I needed to bring his SOCKS & SHOES so he could participate in the rest of the school day activities.

So I kissed my moment to catch up on chores and a half a moment to myself goodbye. I woke the baby up from her nap; she was now very upset, grabbed his SOCKS & SHOES, and headed back to preschool. Once there I handed off the shoes and made my apologies. To which she replied, “What’s going on with his eye?” What? His eye has a problem now? Nothing I exclaimed. He had an eyelash in it earlier but it seemed fine after it was removed I shared. So I got back in the car and headed down the same route I had already taken three times today, make that three times in the last hour. Once home I attempted to put the baby back down for a nap, attempted mind you, this was not successful. I started to get a few things done around the house and then it was time to go pick him up from preschool. So I grabbed the now extremely upset, cranky, and tired baby and somehow managed to stop her from arching her back just long enough to buckle her in the car seat. As I started down our road I realized I could not go my usual way because they were painting the lines on the road. Go figure, what are the chances? So I took a detour, was a few minutes late but I got there, yet again. I unbuckled the baby and rushed up the stairs into the school to get him from his classroom. First thing I noticed his eye. What’s going on with his eye? It was at that moment I realized I had two choices, do I laugh or do I cry?

Are we living Idiocracy?

2011-09-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, so while browsing through Parents magazine I came across this tad bit of information under your child’s health:

Stick-On-Safety

Keep more than an eye on your kids with SafetyTat QR temporary tattoo. The bar code is scannable with a Smartphone and provides additional emergency info to authorities.

What? I thought it was outlandish and a sign of lazy parenting when they invented those stupid kid leashes. Now they have tattoos! Whatever happened to parents actually watching their children? Is it exhausting chasing after a two year old? Darn straight, but you are the parent; your child should be your number one priority. Your needs, as the parent, do not come first, your child’s do. So, if you plan on taking your child out in public plan accordingly, talk to your child about stranger danger and staying near you at all times. Teach your children why they need to say with you don’t just put on a tattoo or a leash and hope for the best.

The next question that begs to be asked is, when do you stop leashing and tattooing your child? Will adults soon require tattoos as well? Is the future filled with mindless adults who wander around scanning their tattoos with their phones then inputting it into their GPS? Are we living Idiocracy (I included a scene from the movie below for those who are not familiar with the film)?

Please, share your thoughts.

When it's yellow let it mellow, when it's brown flush it down, unless you are a guest?

2011-09-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

Water conservation is something that has been on my mind since I was 13 years old. We had taken a family trip, you know one of those trips where dad has to work some of the days but the rest of the family is on vacation. So, long story short, we went to Arizona and I remember being so fascinated with the cacti as we drove to our hotel, we were definitely not in Northwest Ohio anymore. We had arrived late at night and I was surprised the next morning when I looked out our hotel room and there was no desert. In fact it was rather green, I was disappointed. We had to get in our rental car and drive to the desert. It was at that moment the questions started rolling off my tongue. I remember asking my father why the grass in the desert is greener than the grass at home? Where does the water come from since it is supposed to be a desert? How does it get to the desert? Doesn't it evaporate really fast? Does that cost a lot of money? . After my many questions my father let out a slight chuckle and then he explained the entire irrigation process to me. I thought is so silly to waste water on the desert and waste so much money trying to make plants and grass grow where they should not (and the indigenous landscape is so beautiful). It was at that moment that I knew water conservation was something I was going to practice and share.

Props to the family for such a clean toilet. Four people use
this toilet and
two of them are boys (way to aim boys!)

Dirty Anti-Green Machine
(but it is officially ours- no more payments!)

So, here I am almost twenty years later. I am now married with three kiddos, a cat, dog, home, and lawn of my own that is only irrigated when Mother Nature sees fit. I continue my water conservation quest by teaching my family how to only utilize the water that is necessary. In order to facilitate this lifestyle we have adopted certain routines.

We turn off the faucet while we brush our teeth. We rinse our dishes as soon as we are finished eating so that a substantial amount of water isn’t required to clean them later when hard substance has formed (Instead of water 2 tablespoons of vinegar helps with the really tough jobs). We load our dishwasher to capacity and run it as opposed to hand cleaning the dishes which does surprisingly save water in the end. I also try my best to make sure I am on top of the laundry and remove clothes from the washer the same day I place them in the washer, so that they do not have to be washed again. I wash a substantial amount of clothing at once. I do not wash my car, which is bad for the car, good for conserving water. When bathing the kiddos I try my best to have one start off with a shower and let the tub fill while they shower. The next two children can then take a bath in the water that filled (unless it was a rather dirty day, then a refill might be necessary). We have also adopted the technique of when it is yellow, let it mellow and when it is brown, flush it down (my son has also added a new slogan, if you go three it has to flee. Going # 3 is of course when you go both #1 and #2). We have an older toilet that has 3.5 gallons per flush (gpf) not the newer 1.5 or 1.6 gpf, so we really have incentive to conserve. This of course is a hit, or miss, when it comes to 4 and 5 year olds. My husband has grown a little perturbed at the fact that when it is his turn to use the facilities sometimes the previous user did not flush the brown down. It’s a learning process; we will get there one day!

I am proud of my kiddos, they are learning a valuable lesson about abundance and how their actions affect others and the environment. However, I was caught off guard the other day when my son asked why we do not flush at home when it is yellow (or #1) but we do at other people’s houses. Well, I exclaimed slowly, stalling in hopes of trying to determine the best way to respond to his little inquisitive mind. I was at a loss. I simply replied that is rude not to flush the toilet at other people’s homes, you need to follow their rules. Thankfully he did not have a followup question but his question has had me pondering, what if we did follow the same rule at a friends house? Would our friends think less of us?

So what would you do? Would you think less of someone if they did not flush the toilet at your house? Would it matter more if it was #1 or #2?

If you aren’t already, follow me, and then post your thoughts below.

Clipping for a Cause

2011-08-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

Clipping for a Cause
There are three activities that encompass this endeavor. They can each be a lot of fun when done with friends.

1^st Chit Chat & Clip

So I am a huge fan of the Krazy Coupon Lady and thanks to their website and book I have managed to organize an efficient coupon binder and become a savvy shopper. On my last shopping adventure the total was $400.00 and I paid $260. Granted, I still think there is room for improvement but it is a good starting point.

Anyway, perhaps we could meet at a local coffee shop and chit chat and clip.

2^nd Cart to Car

We would then meet up at the grocery store, place the items we clipped the coupons for in the cart, pay for the items, and then place them in the car. Again, this could be a lot of fun with friends (preferably no children for this trip- we need sharp mommy brains to stay focused).

3^rd Car to food pantry (darn, I was trying to come up with word that begins with c)

A designated group could then drive the donations to the food pantry and if they wish possibly stay and help sort and organize the donated products.

What do you say? Who is with me?

Time frame: this does not all have to occur in a specific time frame. Step one could occur over the course of a month or so but the 2^nd and 3^rd are more time sensitive.

Over-sexed society, I blame the Jersey Shore?

2011-08-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

When did dating become synonymous with promiscuity? In the past it was not unusual for a teenage girl to have a date to a football game with a young man on a Friday evening and a movie date with a different young man on a Saturday evening. However by today’s standards she would be considered promiscuous because for some reason sex is presumed to occur.

Sex has been taken so lightly these days, as if two individuals are meeting up for an afternoon jog. Our society is leaving nothing up to the imagination. From a very young age children are exposed to adult content and situations. The clothing that is in the little girls department is appalling; I fear that it is a come hither call to sexual predators. Little girls should not be dressing in trampy adult women clothing. Short skirts, shorts, bikinis with padding in the tops, exotic prints, high heels for toddles (PLEASE!) etc. this type of wardrobe is grooming a child for a life where sex appeal gets you attention and not their intellect.

Since society is so cavalier with provocative attire, exposing children to sexually explicit games, and television shows at such a young age it is no wonder why teens are exploring their sexuality. They probably see it as a right of passages, this is what the adults do, and they are being groomed into young adults, right? The excitement, the scandal, the attention that the promiscuous parties receive in television shows is appealing to young minds. Reality television only magnifies this idea. There are two shows that instantly come to mind when it comes to sex and promiscuity, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom. These two shows are on MTV, granted not the most elite programming but chances are, even if you do not have cable or allow your child to view such programming, they have somewhere or somehow, or they have at least heard other children discuss it. These two shows glamorize sex appeal, premarital sex, and promiscuity. Teen Mom is a sequel to the original show titled, Sixteen and Pregnant. Sixteen and Pregnant followed around girls who, you guessed it, were pregnant at sixteen. MTV has exclaimed that the purpose of the show is to illustrate the hardships these women go through in hopes that other teens will not follow in their footsteps. However, while viewing the show quite the contrary is being illustrated, the teen girls all have their own places, cars, adorable babies, oh, and they are on MTV, they are famous, talk about the life. That playing house thing doesn’t look to difficult on Teen Mom, why wouldn’t a teen contemplate the same road, you could be famous? Next stop Jersey Shore.

Wow, what isn’t wrong with this show? The show originally aired on the Jersey Shore but they have most recently made a mockery of Americans in Italy. The show has eight or nine characters; I mean reality television stars that live together for a few weeks. Now, for the most part all I can gather, with regard to a purpose of the show is to watch as people destroy their lives? Or maybe they are trying to be examples of what you should not do with your lives? They all drink heavily, sleep in, are late for work which is the equivalent of a first time job for a teenager (they work at a pizzeria), sleep with each other, sleep with strangers, and fight. I believe that about sums up the program, oh, I forgot, they also eat sometimes. So, once again this show is glamorizing behaviors we do not want our children to partake in, it illustrates nothing but rude, promiscuous, intoxicating behavior.

Society is definitely steering our future generations in the wrong direction, perhaps it is hopeless? Oh, but wait, is society responsible for our children or are we, the parents responsible for our children? Last time I checked, my five year old doesn’t have a license or a job to purchase clothes, so who is buying the clothes? And those same children live with adults, what type of behavior is being modeled in their homes? Is Jersey Shore and Teen Mom behavior be modeled?

Parents take a stand, be the positive role model in your child’s life. On that note I will step down from my soap box and we are off to church.

Day 2 and Day 3 of my screen-free challenge, Day 3 is a doozy

2011-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

Day 2

Wow, did I sleep great. I had no trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. But I had a dose of the good stuff and like a drug I wanted more. However, the kiddos were up earlier than usual, bright-eyed at 6:30am and we actually had nowhere to go this morning. I tried to get them to sleep in, I expressed that soon school would be starting and we would have to wake up early. I exclaimed that this is why we should treasure these few mornings left that we do not have to go anywhere, sleep in, SLEEP IN. Then an idea stuck me, television, how great would it be to just have them preoccupied by a television show for an hour and mommy could continue this euphoric slumber. Then I remembered the 3 day screen-free challenge-NOOOOO I yelled in my mind as I slowly got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

We played instruments and listened to music

After everyone had eaten up all the eggs the day took off like a whirlwind. We read all the Eric Carle books, we listened to music, played the instruments, danced, did our activity books, and colored, wow that was exhausting.

The kiddos even helped me clip coupons

Unfortunately it was only 10am. So I let them raid the recycling box and the pantry and make creative creations. Surprisingly that lasted for an hour then I declared it lunch time. Once they completed lunch it was off to quiet time for them and my hubby came home and we had lunch together. Instead of eating in the family room preoccupied with a television show we ate in the kitchen and had a true heart-to-heart, it was a delightful meal.

After quiet time it was off to various stores in hopes of using store coupons in order to get a discount on my little princess's new school uniform wardrobe. So we stopped at Kohl’s got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased a shirts, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove two minutes across the street to JCPenny’s. Once at JCPenny’s I got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased a skirt, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove a minute around the store to ULTA. Once at ULTA I got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased moisturizer, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove back across the street to Kohl’s since I realized I still had 10 dollars worth of Kohl’s bucks in my wallet. So, after all was said and done my arms got a great workout, I think I broke my back, the children asked for random items roughly 50 times, they learned a valuable lesson about being on a budget, and I was just about out of my mind. I so desperately just wanted to go home and place all of them in front of the television so mommy could decompress. But there was no time, dinner needed to be prepared.

After dinner we walked down to the park then came home had bath time, books, prayers, and bed. Once they were in bed I did the usually mommy stuff to prepare for the next day and sat down and finished my book. Yes, that is correct; I said finished my book, in two days. I have not finished a book in two days since honor literature summer reading list in high school (I was a procrastinator back then, kinda of cynical, you know the typical teenager ). Once again, I fell to sleep right after reading my book. My mind was so focused on the book that my thoughts had no space or time to wander, it was beautiful.

Day 3

We needed to get up and going today since all three of my kiddos had doctors’ appointments. My super hero needed his wellness check before preschool started. My princess only required one vaccine, chicken pox (I loved getting the chicken pox, such a bummer) before starting kindergarten, and my little baby grace needed her well check. So the grand total for all three kiddos was nine vaccines. Being the good and prepared mommy that I thought I was I packed snacks, drinks, activities to preoccupy them, and we discussed what was going to happen once we arrived at the doctor’s office. We discussed why they receive shots and ways to preoccupy their minds. It seemed like they were prepared.

So we walked in and there was no one in the waiting room. I paid each of their co-pays and they said we could come on back. Awesome, this was working out wonderfully; we had made it past the first wait, now on to the second. We didn’t even have to wait for the nurse, she followed us, asked a few questions, and we were onto the weighing and measurement room. My little super hero breezed right through being weighed, measured, and blood pressure like a pro, on to the baby. All of my children as babies cried during the weighing portion of the appointment, the buckets with the crunchy paper terrified them, but not my little baby grace. She sat in the bucket got weighed, laid down got measured for height, and sat up to have her head circumference measured. WOW, it was going so well, I was such a proud momma. All that was left was to talk to the doctor and then vaccines. So we waited for the doctor for like a minute, she checked them out, and then we waited for the nurse to come back with the vaccines. I decided that it would be best if the super hero went first, he is four, well prepared for what is going to occur, and he exuded so much confidence.

So the nurse arrived with the vaccines in each tray, sat them down, and asked who was going first. My super hero jumped up on the bench and declared that he would be first. So I started talking to him, I had him looking in the opposite direction as the shot, we were focusing our attention on a picture in the room, everything was going so smoothly, then it happened. He looked at the shot, it started to penetrate his skin and he freaked out. With a gusto he swiped is arm past the nurses, pulling the shot out of his skin in the process, leaving a bloody trail as it exited his body. He simultaneously let out a huge yelp and began wailing. Upon witnessing this horrific display my little princess and baby grace began crying as well. Unfortunately this was only the first of nine shots to be given that day. So the nurse had me sit him on my lap, his legs between mine, and hold his arms, I felt horrible holding my child down like this but I knew he needed these vaccines, and deep down somewhere I was praying that he knew as well. As I sat him down in the chair sobbing from the trauma and I had to refocus my attention on my little princess. She only required one shot but boy was it going to be difficult to get her to clam down.

By this time all three of my children are crying, they have actually closed the door to the waiting room in hopes of not scaring off other patience. Along with the wailing and screaming my little princess begins running around the office trying to get away from me. It should be noted that I have never experienced such a display from my children. I felt like the worst mother ever, chasing down her child, holding them in place as they are punctured. My mind quickly shifted to mommy mode, I was riffling through my memory box eagerly searching a resolutions to make this conundrum disappear. What would Dr. Laura do?...Dr. Phil? What would my mom do?

I tried to rationalize the situation, and then I tried channeling their imaginations, when nothing seemed to work I had to contemplate bribery. I had no choice, I just wanted the entire thing to end. The yelling, screaming, wailing, running, that they were illustrating and the emotional trauma to my psyche, it all felt surreal. I felt like I was stuck in some sitcom, you know the ones, where it is funny from the audience’s perspective but at the expense of the actor. Somebody yell cut I kept thinking, this cannot be real.

So finally the big yellow arches came to mind. I declared that everyone could have a happy meal, with a toy, and French fries if we just got through the next two rounds of shots. Suddenly the chaos seceded. My little princess received her vaccine, with her legs between mine and holding onto me for dear life. Baby grace was a breeze, though crying the entire time, I could console her easily. Upon leaving the doctors office I felt like I was leaving a battle zone. I was physically and emotionally drained.

We headed to McDonald’s were everyone received their unhealthy, everything I do not stand for, happy meal. And they were happy.

Once home I finished cleaning up from the morning, prepared for the next day, organized a few things all the while so desperately wanting and deserving some mindless screen time. I just went through what I would assume hell to be like and I just wanted to get lost in something. So I started reading a new book. Within moments my mind was onto a new topic, in a way mindless television shows or computers social networks do not allow. Granted I am not a doctor and I have not conducted any research but based upon my personal experience there is something psychological that must occur when we read from a book and not a screen. I do not know how to fully express it in words but it is special. It is almost like our entire brain focuses so much more on the pages as opposed to a screen where it seems like so much more is occurring.

Coming soon…..conclusion to the challenge and studies that have been done to support my findings

Synopsis of the 3 Day Challenge

2011-08-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

The 3 day screen free challenge was an enlightening experience. I found that for the most part being screen free brought about peacefulness inside of me. However there were a few moments when I would have given my left arm to have Barney and Big Bird on my side.

Bye Bye TV

The night before the challenge we read the book, It’s Not What You’ve Got to set the tone for the next three days.

Day 1

This screen free thing is pretty easy. Granted we had a dentist appointment this morning. So there really wasn’t much time for television watching. When we got home the children listened to music, played their instruments, and danced around the living room while I prepared lunch. I so enjoyed lunch.

Normally I would work through lunch doing random chores around the house in hopes of being able to get online while the kiddos nap, or have quiet time. Knowing that I couldn’t get online during naptime or quiet time really slowed me down. I sat down at the table with the children. Usually my mind is wandering on the various to do lists, or activities, I hope to accomplish. However, for the first time in a long time my mind was clear. I giggled, sang, and even made animal noises with the children, I felt like a kid again! It was at that moment that it became crystal clear to me that the effect that screen time has on your mind can be significant. How sad is it that “normally” during lunch my mind is a whirlwind, wondering if I received a certain email, if a particular coupon has become available, or if a friend commented on a recent post to facebook. Wow, the screen-time-brain effect was making me miss out on enjoying time with the most important people in my life.

After quiet time we walked down to the park, had dinner, read books, then it was bedtime for the kiddos. Meanwhile my hubby took off for a poker game and I was suddenly by myself with only the cat and the dog. I started to think about what I was supposed to do now? Chores were all completed. Suddenly this challenge felt silly to me and I contemplated turning on a screen. Television or computer I didn’t care. I was all by myself, who would know if I turned on the TV? I need distraction...or company…or something...I was perplexed by the emotion I was begining to feel. I was seriously starting to become a little anxious, weird, who becomes anxious due to lack of distraction? In order to subside this feeling of anxiousness I ventured over to the bookshelf and grabbed a book from my been meaning to read pile, poured a cup of tea, lit a scented soy candle, and started reading. Suddenly a flood of calm set over me and I thought to myself, so this is what relaxing is all about. I had forgotten how nice it was to get lost in a book. I usually read ten minutes here, ten minutes there, often totaling a half hour or less a day. This time I had the luxury of reading, rand eading, and reading, till I fell asleep.

More to come tomorrow…….

3 day Screen-Free Challenge

2011-08-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for a 3 day Screen-Free Challenge?

After careful reflection on the status of my garden of life I have concluded that it is in the midst of a drought, the oxygen levels are low, and weeds and pests are slowly making themselves known. In order to increase the oxygen levels, end the drought, and have a thriving garden once again the weeds and pests need to be abolished.

The question that then begs to be asked is how? How do you make your garden of life flourish once again?

At a MOPs meeting last year I had the pleasure of listening to two DJs from YES FM give an amazing presentation about the pest, weeds, and chemicals that can harm your garden of life. As we entered the room there was three different items on a table. There was a basket full of fruits and vegetables, a box of Twinkies, and a bottle of Roundup (Monsanto-the name just makes me cringe). They began the presentation by explaining that the fruits and vegetables represent the healthy or nutritious media for the soul.

The examples they listed as good, or positive influences were, veggie tales, pbs programs, and Christian radio (Matte West/Amy Grant). Then they directed their attention to the box of Twinkies on the table.

The said that the box of Twinkies represents the media information that was not necessarily good or positive but wasn’t exactly negative, but neutral. The examples they gave were Sponge Bob and family friendly music (The carpenters/Frank Sinatra) and shows. As they moved down the table and focused their attention on the spray bottle of roundup they indicated that it, without a doubt, represents the negative or toxic influences in the media, music, and the like.

The examples they gave were MTV, Lady Gaga, and violent games. The presentation really struck a nerve with me. I had never realized just how influential even the background music or television shows could be not only a young child, but me as well. After that presentation I made a conscious effort to only listen to positive, uplifting music in the car and at home. The result was surprising, my mood, as well as the children’s, seemed to be more uplifting. I illustrated more patience with the children and them with each other. So, what does this have to do with my wilting garden of life? Everything!

If changing what we watch and listen to can have such a positive result then the hypothesis would then be that, unplugging and going screen free will only multiply the results, and allow my garden of life to flourish once again?

The ground rules:

For three days my family will not watch television, will not be on the computer, will not play any game system, will not watch or utilize anything with a screen. This also includes my cell phone. When I receive a text message I must call that person, no texting.

I will be keeping a log (old fashion pen and paper style) of our activities and writing down everyone’s feelings and thoughts throughout the experiment.

I am deliberately going screen free before school starts in order to fully grasp the amount of time, energy, and hopefully emotional or mental influence screen time does have on our family.

Well, here goes.

Signing off, I will post my feedback on Thursday.

If you are willing to accept this challenge or have comments please share those below.

Is Your Garden of Life wilting?

2011-08-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

How to bring back your garden of life

An actual garden

I am sure this comes as no surprise to you but we are not on this planet for a long time. I assume you plan on making the most of your time on this planet as I know I do as well. After all, once our journey on earth ends we can not take a single materialistic thing or object with us. All we have when it is all said and done are the relationships we formed, the memories we made, and faith. In order to make this journey a positive one it is important to cherish and nurture your relationships; your relationship with your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, and with Christ. As the saying goes, anything worth having is worth working hard for and relationships are no exception.

The analogy I like to use is that your relationships are like a vegetable garden that need to be tended. I like this analogy because it is very elementary and children and adults can relate. When you teach your children about gardening you express that the main components that are required in order for your garden to grow are:

1. Soil

2. Water

3. Fertilizer

4. Sunlight

5. Oxygen

The same is true when it comes to tending to your relationships. Relationships do not just happen; there are specific components that need to be conveyed in order for the relationship to flourish. When tending to your garden of life the following components must be present to make it grow:

1. Attention/Undivided Attention

2. Listen

3. Empathy or compassion

4. Forgiveness

5. Christ

When tending to a garden one of the main components is soil. When tending to your relationship one of the main components is attention, your undivided attention. Undivided attention can be a difficult task for some people to undertake. All the latest and greatest technological gadgets seem to complicate and infringe upon your time and manipulate your attention span. Granted, we all have a tendency to become preoccupied with phones, ipad, game systems, etc. The various social networks, facebook, tweeting, etc. only compound the preoccupancy. The irony is many people, including moms, spend so much time on social networks thinking they are nurturing their relationships. While in the meantime, the poor souls who are physically present and trying to spend time with you are being severely neglected. Or worse, have you ever seen those couples out at a restaurant who are both preoccupied with some technological gadget, talk about quality time together!

I am not arguing the fact that technology has provided us with a magnitude of advantages. It has provided us with a magnificent means for which to education our children on the world. There is so much information at our fingertips and when utilized correctly is can be a blessing. However, like everything, moderation is the key, healthy boundaries need to be established and maintained. Parents need to determine and uphold rules regarding screen time. A big rule should be no screens at the dinner table. The dinner table is the perfect opportunity to provide your love ones with your undivided attention, to nurture those relationships. Also, like everything in life, parents need to model appropriate behavior. Parents need to limit their screen time. This might even mean setting a timer because it is easy to get sucked into the Bermuda triangle of technology.

After you have established rules regarding screen time it is so important that you explain why. Express the fact that human interaction is important in order to establish and nurture relationships. Giving someone your undivided attention expresses to that individual that what they have to say is important to you, that they are important to you. After all as moms/parents don’t we want our children to know that they come first not some virtual life?

I fear that if this generation of mothers/parents does not carefully communicate the need for intimate relationships and nurturing those relationships then our children will fall prey to the fictitious cyber world. Not to mention horrible etiquette as well. Have you ever been the victim to the chronic texter? Nothing says you are not important to me faster then the chronic texter.

There is clearly already a huge generation gap with regard to the virtual or cyber world. A great example is the Toyota Venza commercial. It begins with a young girl behind her computer screen. She expresses that she read an article that said that older people are becoming anti-social. She continues to state that her parents only have 19 friends on facebook, while she has over 600 friends on facebook. The irony is while she is narrating this information the visual is of her parents meeting friends and going for a bike ride. All the while she is sitting behind her computer tending to her cyber life.

Ok, so once you have established boundaries with regard to screen time, and have provided your undivided attention, the next component that is necessary for your garden of life to flourish is to listen. While this seems like an easy enough tasks it can actually be difficult to achieve. Have you ever started listening to a person and a particular word or phrase they say strikes a nerve? News flash, this is just as bad as interrupting.

I know it can be difficult trying to override that portion of your brain that wants to hold on to that particular thought but it is important that you do. Think of it this way, letting go of what you were thinking doesn’t mean it disappears. If you are meant to bring up the particular thought in the conversation it will come back to you after you have given the other person the necessary time to finish speaking.

When your mind is preoccupied with other thoughts and you simply reply during the lulls in the conversation with what you assume to be an accurate response the other person knows, you are not fooling anyone. This impulse response is simply another way of not listening and telling the other person that they are not important. This happens a lot between mothers and their children and wives and their husbands. Often moms have so much information coming into their brains that they are on overload. Don’t be afraid to say so, be honest with your children. Tell them that what they have to say is important but mommy needs a few minutes to collect her thoughts. Then after you have cleared you mind and finished any task that might preoccupy you sit down and listen to your child. I have to be honest, I have no idea how you get your husband to listen to you. I am always open to suggestions.

Once you have set aside time, given your undivided attention, and listened to the person who makes up your garden of life the next step is to express compassion or empathy. There is nothing worse than confiding your concerns and fears regarding your life or most inner personal thoughts only to have the individual you are confiding the information to reply with a quick response and an expressionless face. I am not sure if it is due to the influx of various gadgets, social networks, or lack of human interaction in general but face to face people have become rather immune, or rather, awkward when it comes to illustrating compassion. Perhaps it is because we are encouraging individuals away from any interpersonal activity. Think about it, we can now use a self scanner at the grocery store, a self scanner at the library, an automatic teller machine (ATM) at the bank, do online banking, purchase stamps and mail items from your home, and pump your own gas. I suppose the closest we come in contact with people, besides church would be the drive thru. Has all this convenience brought about a generation that is lacking the ability to empathize with people?

When someone shares information about themselves with you it is important that you reply with a response that illustrates empathy. There are the occasions where perhaps you are not certain if you accurately interpreted the individual’s words. When this happens kindly repeat what you thought they were saying. The individual will then either confirm that yes, it was indeed what they were speaking of, or, they will elaborate for clarification. In order to nurture the relationship it is important that you understand their perspective and express the fact that you understand. This does not have to mean that you agree with them, or their thoughts, but that you understand their thoughts. If a clear understanding is not made then miscommunication does occur and can lead to problems down the road. Also, if you do not practice empathizing with others entire relationships will eventually wilt away. So moms/parents take the time to sit down and express what empathy means with your children and practice living a more empathetic life, model the behavior for them.

We have set a strong foundation for this garden to grow but it still requires a few components in order for it to thrive. Like the vegetable garden requires sunlight so does your garden of life. In order to have light for your garden you must practice one of the most difficult actions for some individuals, and the most important action, forgiveness. We have all had something negative happen to us at one time or another. Unfortunately sometimes there are multiple offenses done to us but the key is to forgive. I realize this can be difficult and I am not saying to forget because God knows that can be near impossible. But in order for you to be a positive contribution to your own garden of life you need to remove the resentment in your heart. Once you have released the bitterness and negative thoughts from your mind you will be surprised at how your entire psyche alters. Remove the needs for revenge; remove the grudges in your life, let the positive ions release. You exert so much energy by simply holding onto all the negative stuff that has occurred in your life, let it go. Move on with your life in a more peaceful presence; let the past go, live today. How sad is it when you hear about a person who is so caught up in the happenings of the past that they let their few days, or years, left on this planet become clouded with hate and anger. Choose joy, be the light in your garden of life.

Once you have the soil, water, fertilizer, and light in order there is still a very important component that is required for growth, oxygen. God is the oxygen in your garden of life. When you think you are at your wits end, no one is listening to you, no one empathizes with what you are going through, or perhaps you are trying to help a friend and searching for the right words. God is always listening. Granted the outcome may not be what your initial prayers were but he does have a plan for you. Do not become discouraged but rather provide your undivided attention and listen, he is telling you how to make your garden grow.

Lastly, it is important to note that there will be pest and weeds that enter your garden from time to time. Do not alter your routine, be yourself, continue to provide undivided attention, listen, empathize, and forgive. Either those pests will turn into vegetation in your garden of life or the level of oxygen will determine the outcome. Remember there are little gardeners watching your every move.

My Garden of Life

Peace

Mommies have to poop too!

2011-08-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

“No great genius has ever existed without some touch of poop”.

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca-

Why are moms always the last individuals in the family to get to go to the bathroom? Ever missed your window and had to live with that bloated uncomfortable feeling all day? Or worse, after waiting your turn, and rapidly approaching a closing window, your opportunity finally arises only to be interrupted by some form of chaos. Such as the baby placing small foreign objects in her nose or ears, or, perhaps your son thinking he can fly like superman only to be hugely disappointed by the impact of gravity and the pain of his head hitting the coffee table. Off to the emergency room, maybe you can poop tomorrow?

As if it wasn’t bad enough already not being able to have the opportunity to have a bowel movement, we are then reminded periodically throughout the day that every other living creature in our house is, has, or will be pooping but us. We clean up poop from the animals, we smell the horrific farts from the dog and our husbands, we change the baby’s diapers, we wipe our 3 year olds butt, and we flush the toilet after our 5 year old forgets. Yes, it is in our face all the time, everyone is pooping but mommy.

Why does daddy get 20 minutes of uninterrupted pooping time, often twice a day? Does mommy’s colon not deserve the same? Ladies it is time to stand up for our time in the bathroom, or sit down, either way you get the point. So, grab that magazine you have been meaning to read and claim your time on the throne!

Excerpt taken from -Minimize the Chaos in order to Maximize the Joys of Motherhood

Mommies Unite! There is a fine line between curiosity and judgment.

2011-03-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

Mommies Unite! There is a fine line between curiosity and judgment.

While reading an article the other day I had an epiphany. The article was discussing the ongoing mommy war of Working moms vs. Stay at home moms which I have often found to be moronic, as soon as a woman is given the title mom she is working. She is physically, mentally, and emotionally on the clock so to speak. She is up at 3am for feedings, changing diapers, packing bags, giving baths, making meal, and those are just the physical requirements. She is also modeling behavior regarding appropriate ways to interact with others, seek assistance, and compassion for her youngersters. She is answering philosophical questions, and teaching basic vocabulary, cause and effect, colors, shapes, religion, etc. She is also emotionally invested till the day she dies. She will worry about the way her child is developing. She will wonder if she is doing everything she can and should be doing for her children. She will put immense pressure on herself and even blame herself for any social, physical, or physiological delay her child may experience. As moms we question ourselves enough without the added pressure from other moms. Let the mom who is perfect, with perfect children, and home/household to be the first to pass judgment on another mother.

Some may say politicians, teacher, and religious leaders are the people who will have the most impact on the future, the ones who will write history. I disagree with this factor; moms have the most important jobs on this planet, we directly influence the future generation. We are the comforting embrace that those future leaders and teachers will be running to when they scrape their knee, when they are the last chosen for gym class games, when they experience frustration over their homework, when puberty wreaks havoc on their confidence, when their first true love breaks their hearts. Moms are there when the world is against them and when they are on top of the world.

So, we have been given a very important job, to be a mother, and a job that none of us take lightly. Although, like any job we each must follow our own manuals and make adjustments as needed. So the next time you come in contact with a mother that follows a slightly different manual then yours, perhaps she formula feeds instead of breast feeds, uses synthetic as opposed to organic, works outside the home as opposed to in the home, teaches sign language as a first language as opposed to English, uses a pacifier vs. no pacifier, uses cloth diapers as opposed to disposable, home schools as opposed to private/public schools, ferberizes as opposed to co-sleeps, driving a Honda as opposed to a Ford, etc. Remember we are each trying our best to fulfill our obligations as a mother. We are already putting a substantial amount of pressure on ourselves without the added pressure from the outside world.

This is not to say that we should not share our mommy manuals with other mommies. We can learn so much from each other but there can be a fine line between curiosity and judgment.

Do you speak Manguage or the language of men?

2011-02-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a difficult time describing the shear magnitude of responsibilities and unexpected mishaps that can occur during the day to your husbands? Does it seem like no matter how you try to express the fact that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally drained they never seem to truly appreciate the extent? Well, most moms can relate. It is no surprise that men and women speak different languages (and a bad case of selective hearing, but that is a whole different story).

For example, when your husband gets home and you express the fact that you have had a very demanding day and share the happening of your day with him you state the following:

The baby was up all night so my day started off on a tired note, followed by the fact that Tommy and Sue’s school closed due to boiler issues so I had to entertain the children all day. Fortunately I was still able to maintain the daily chores. So, I am a little excited by the fact that I did it; though the day did not start off in my favor I did it! I fed the kids, put clean sheets on all the beds, did laundry, fed the animals, swept the floors, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen (three times), changed diapers, resolved a few sibling quarrels, had a few discussions about inappropriate behavior, paid some bills, got caught in the crossfire of a juice box war, cleaned up puke (Tommy used the sit & spin after lunch, again, after I have told him five times not to spin after you eat), had a serious discussion about super heroes and heaven, made a slew of crafts with Sue, helped a girlfriend through some turmoil in her life, and still manages to throw on some deodorant, a semi decent wardrobe, and have dinner on the table. Go me!

Unfortunately what your husband heard was:

The baby was up all night and…… then his mind kind of started to wandered.

Our husbands might say it is our own fault, we should say something new or perhaps not as much but the real issue is we are speaking different languages. I guess John Gray was right, Men are from Mars, darn Martians, that explains why they do not hear what we are saying and why their feet always smell, what is the deal with that? I digressed. We need to figure out how to speak their language and I think I have found the perfect analogy. Moms/Wives are like Cars.

Let me explain, men seem to always take exceptional care of their cars and understand car language. They fill up the tank before it is even 3/4 empty, they get oil changes on time, clean their cars out frequently (or at least much more frequently then us mommies get the opportunity to), rotate and change tires as necessary, and need I add, even have a little fun with their cars (speed a little, enjoy their favorite music, like to show it off to their friends), and the kids are rarely in their car. Remember Tim the Tool man Taylor from Home Improvement? He is the perfect example of how a man speaks car and takes care of his car. So, I have come up with the following language barrier resolution. Simply translate all your questions and woes into men language or manguage. I have included a few suggested phrases below.

Women say:

I have had a long and tough day and need to get out of the house and away from the children for a little while to rejuvenate so that my mommy spirit will be ready for a new day. I am going to a friends to talk for a little while.

Translated in manguage: My tank is almost empty and I need to refuel.

Women say:

I had a tough week and need some time to redirect my focus and put some “me” time in. I think I will get a pedicure, what do you think? It isn’t sandal weather yet but I could use it. Maybe I should wait? What do you think? Maybe while I am there I will get my eye brows done, what do you think? My legs are hairy too, I have never waxed my legs but I have always wanted to try, what do you think?

Translated in manguage: I need to get myself detailed, be back in a few hours.

Women say:

It has been forever since I have gotten my hair done and I feel so dated and yucky. I ran into Cindy today and she has this new bob that looks amazing on her. I need to get a new hairdo. Do you think I should go shorter? My face is long though, I am not sure how that will look on me. Perhaps go lighter… or darker? Maybe I should get a few highlights? What do you think?

Translated in manguage: I need a new paint job. I was going to ask you a lot of questions but ultimately will call Cindy and trust her opinion.

Women say: My OBGYN appointment is coming up, I so dread this but I know it is for my health. I hope there isn’t a long wait. That gets me thinking, what about another baby? I am not getting any younger?

Translated in manguage: I need to get the interior detailed, check under the engine and make sure everything is running smoothly. Regarding the baby comment-This model is getting old so lets make it look amazing, take it for a fun drive, and then put it out of commission for a year and then increase the car payment again (because the last three increases were not significant enough) for an indefinite amount of time.

Women say: Don’t you love me anymore? We never talk, we never go out, and I am stuck with the kids all day everyday, I need some adult attention.

Translated in manguage: I have a full tank of gas, the interior is detailed, tires rotated, engine checked, and washed- it’s time to show me off to your friends.

So maybe no real issues are being resolved but at least we are now able to translate our thoughts into manguage. Please share some of your manguage barriers that you have experienced.

Go Green to save Green!

2011-02-22T06:04:00.001-08:00

I have always been an advocate for living a green and sustainable lifestyle but it wasn’t till recently that I fully comprehended the philosophy and the financial benefits. In the beginning I played into the greenwashing and various ploys to spend substantial amounts of money in order to declare myself, my family, and my home as green. Thankfully with each subsequent child I have evolved as not only a mother but an environmentally conscious one.

It all started with the birth of our first child. The pressures to have all the necessary baby gadget and playthings as well as the cleanest and safest home were my goals no matter what the cost. If you asked my husband he would definitely agree that cost was the main consequence of my mommy greenest actions. You name it and I bought it! Organic everything including, formula, baby food, clothes, blankets, plush toys, etc. Masses of Green cleaning products including, toilet, shower/tub, floor, countertop, furniture, wood polish, disinfectant spray for pacifiers (which was pointless because my children never took a pacifier), etc. We purchased biodegradable disposable diapers and wipes. I was even contemplating clean air machines for each room in the house but then the spending had to decrease because we were expecting again.

With our second child I realized that we could no longer afford the ridiculously expensive disposable all be it, biodegradable diapers. Which has me contemplating just how it could possibly biodegrade in the landfill? ((Side note- In school a fellow grad student did her thesis on landfills. She was able to get a drill to excavate garbage 40 feet below the surface. Her findings were shocking. The garage did not decompose at all; she was able to read a newspaper from ten years ago as if she just purchased it from the corner stand yesterday. This was really alarming because paper should only take 5 months to decompose. Peak your interest? See how long it takes your garbage to decompose- http://www.greenecoservices.com/how-long-does-it-take-for-trash-to-biodegrade/)). So I switched to a diaper that was a hybrid of cloth with a pad that would insert in the center of the diaper and could be easily removed and dissolve in toilet water (sounded easy enough). I had to cut back on all my cleaning products. I started using vinegar, water, and a dash of lavender for countertops, floors, glass, and disinfecting. I used baking soda in the bathroom and olive oil and lemon for furniture polishing. The money we saved by no longer purchasing all the various cleaning products and disposable biodegradable diapers was significant and I was minimizing my carbon footprint. All those cleaning products, diapers, and food had raw materials that needed to be excavated and they were not often indigenous raw materials so they needed to be transported, and then manufactured. Once manufactured the products then needed to be packaged and transported yet again. With my carbon footprint at an all time low I was living on cloud nine. Even though our disposable income had declined with the birth of our second child I was saving more by going green. Next challenge, baby number three!

Ok, so the economy is in the dumps, enrollment is down at the university where I instruct so I am not bringing in any green and we are having another bundle of joy- pressure was on. This time around I went with the good old fashion cloth diapers, pins, and liners. I use small washcloths and soft rags as wet wipes. I am breast feeding this baby- no formula, and making my own baby food. No fancy gadgets, just the old fashion throw the (inserts veggie type here) in the oven/or the range and mash it up type of baby food. When it comes to clothes I am no longer a slave to fashion and I am not above the second hand stores. After all what is more sustainable then giving clothes second life? Not to mention some of the baby stuff still has the original tags on it. I wish I wasn’t so egotistical with my first baby; I could have saved so much money and used it to pay for at least her first year of her college tuition.

So, I challenge you to make a list of all the baby items and cleaning products you have purchased in the last year, add up the cost. Now, start small and simply substitute one of your cleaning products for a home made version (http://eartheasy.com/live_nontoxic_solutions.htm#substitutions) or make your baby food ( http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/) for one meal a day and see the savings add up.

Do you accept the challenge?

Little Moments that make it ALL worth it

2011-02-16T12:08:00.000-08:00

As a mom we are constantly picking up after, feeding, cleaning, wiping, changing, and comforting others. Sometimes, while in the thick of it it’s difficult to remember why we do all that we do and then it happens, perhaps for just a moment, pure mommy bliss. It happened to me today. I had dropped my princess off at pre-school, came home brushed my teeth, cleaned the kitchen up from dinner the night before and breakfast this morning, changed the baby, put that fun purple dinosaur on the television for my little super hero to watch, and headed downstairs to do some laundry.

To my dismay I found myself stepping in two inches of water, the floor drain had clogged. Before I go any further it is important to note that I am one of those individuals who prefers to at least attempt to correct any issues around the house myself before dropping some hard earned money for a professional. So I put on my boots, grabbed the drill and the snake and made my way to the basement.

I turned on the drill and after a couple of seconds pulled it up and to my amazement it was actually working. I recovered two socks and some weird swamp looking stuff and I was going back for more when I suddenly heard yelling from upstairs. It was my little super hero requesting that someone wipe his butt. Seeing as the baby wasn’t capable of fulfilling this task it was up to me. So I sat down the drill took off my boots and headed upstairs for my next mission.

I gingerly ran up the stairs and fulfilled my duties as the official butt wiper of the household (minus my husband- he can thankfully handle wiping his own) after we had both washed our hands we made our way downstairs and that is when it happened. My little superhero grabbed my hand and it was in that moment that I experienced mommy bliss. I concentrated on the little hand securely placed within mine. I caressed the soft skin and thought about all the wonderful things those hands will do in a lifetime. It was then that I found my eyes beginning to tear up because I realized that those hands will not be little for long. I so desperately wanted to savor the moment and place it in my memory, when a tear fell from my eye my super hero asked, “Mommy why are you crying”. To which I replied, “I am just so happy that GOD entrust me with this little hand to hold. I love this little hand”. Then, as if God knew that the moment was become to overwhelming for me my little super hero looked up at me and inquired, “What about this hand, do you love this hand?” as he held up the hand that I was not holding. I began to laugh and confirmed that I did indeed love both of his hands.

The mystery of the substance on the floor- mommy is on the case!

2011-02-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

As I walked through my home the umpteenth time today I stepped in something cold, wet, and slimy. My mind immediately started to wander, could it be dog drool? …Baby spit up? …Cat puke? Then I found myself actually routing for the dog drool..please let it be dog drool, please let it be dog drool. So I slowly looked down at the floor and at the substance on the bottom of my foot and it was clear. Well, I could rule out baby spit up because the baby had milk and squash to eat which would not be clear. So, I was down to dog drool or cat puke. So I went in for the old sniff test. I smelled my foot and it was odorless. YES! We have a winner, it is only dog drool. That made my day. Not only did I solve the case but I only stepped in dog drool which in the grand scheme of things is the least offensive cold, wet, slimy thing to be found on the floor.

Case Closed- I can cross that off my to do list today!