Mommy Masters

The Binky "Me-me" Diaries

2011-12-21T10:23:00.000-05:00

Prologue: Welcome to the Mommy Masters Binky "Me-me" Diaries!

It has been a wonderful journey and I want to share my experiences with you in hopes of offering inspiration, ideas and encouragement. First I must provide you with some behind the scenes information: My son turned 3 in October and was very attached to his binky, or as he calls it, his “Me-me”. The plan was to remove it before his 3rd birthday but as the days went on, the familiar, “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” turned into “I’ll deal with it next month”. I think I was scared of the same things every mom is scared of, like my son giving up naps, him not sleeping as well, lots of tears and seeing my child unhappy and sad. I have already been through a successful binky removal with my oldest son, who is now 5, and knew that even with all the different emotions coming my way, I could get through it and would have to remain strong. Though I had yet to officially start the physical removal of the “Me-me”, there was a lot of ground work to do ahead of time. I had been discussing the idea with my son for a while so that it wouldn’t be a terrible surprise to him. I knew this time would be quite traumatic as he was about to give up one of his favorite things on earth. I would never want to cause my son sorrow or hurt, but had to make him understand I was doing the best thing for him, even know it wouldn’t seem like it now. A few months back, I implemented a nap and nighttime “Me-me” rule only, meaning that it wasn’t supposed to leave his room. There were times of course he would crawl into bed with me in the morning, “Me-me” glued to his mouth, and I was okay with that, especially at 5:45AM. As long as the “Me-me” didn’t make its way downstairs and rear its ugly head anywhere except sleepy time, I knew the task was a success. So here we go to start the adventure…no turning back now!

DAY 1: On this first official day, I decided to move forward with phase 1 of my plan, which involved planting the seed. Enter the “Me-me” Fairy! I told my son that I had seen the “Me-me” fairy in the neighborhood which must have meant she was coming to our house soon. I even involved my 5 year old who backed me up and said he had seen her flying around too. I knew my son would love this type of magical, mystical adventure, since he already believed in his magic shorts (for those who read my recent blog article on school separation http://mommymasters.blogspot.com/search?q=magical+shorts). I also explained that the “Me-me” Fairy would come visit and take the “Me-me” to another baby who needed it, and in exchange, would leave special surprises. Enter the 99 cent store. I went and bought 5 little gifts that I, a.k.a. the “Me-me” Fairy, would leave on my son’s floor every morning for 5 days after the “Me-me” was taken away. At the end of this 5 day process, I, (she), would then leave a final, larger present that was the big reward. Not only was my son excited but would often mention that he had seen the fairy fly by as we were driving in the car. I knew I was well on my way to a successful “Me-me” removal mission. In summary, day 1 was all about continuing to educate my son about what was to come and getting him excited for this event in his life. I also took some time to prepare myself mentally for this adventure, knowing that nap time may be more challenging or perhaps disappear all together. I could stall and stall but the time was now and as I said, there was no turning back. All in all, a great day of positive feedback from my son, and he and I are excited to move forward!

DAY 2: Now that I had started to plant the seed, it was time to move forward with phase 2 of my plan. I went out and bought a really cute book titled, Pacifiers are not Forever, written by Elizabeth Verdick, for extra support, and told my son we could read it as many times as he liked. He was super excited about his new book, felt very special, and was eager to read it. The book gave him a visual explanation of what he was embarking on, prodded him to ask great questions, gave me some ideas and really helped him feel like a big boy. I could not have been more thrilled that my preparation was a success so far. Today I also printed out multiple pictures of cartoon like fairies from the internet that I will tape up around the house, showing him that the “Me-me” Fairy has come to visit us. The image I found (see above picture) is colorful, inviting, and friendly, which will hopefully get him energized. Tomorrow I will tape up my fairies and start wrapping my 99 cent store presents in preparation. Another successful day!

DAY 3: My son woke up this morning to a bunch of “Me-me” Fairies all over the house. We decorated an envelope to store his fairies in and he carried it everywhere with him. He seems very focused on the fairy and the book, and hasn’t really mentioned the fact that he will be losing his “Me-me” soon. I want to have the perfect conditions for the actual “Me-me” send off and knew today wasn’t going to be the day. As with parenthood, you never know when your schedule and questionable behavior will get in the way of your plans. I was hoping my son would get in his last nap with his binky before we said goodbye, but due to my volunteering at my older son’s school, we didn’t get home in time to nap. I knew he would be extra emotional and cranky so I needed to delay phase 3 of my plan one more day. I definitely wasn’t stalling and believe me, I was just as excited about the send off as my son. BUT, both boys were so tired, their behavior was absolutely horrid, and our moods didn’t seem to fit all the fun activities I had planned to bid farewell to the “Me-me”. Being 5 ½ months pregnant and my husband being gone all week, I was exhausted, put the kids to bed at 6:30 and started digging into my ice cream! I wasn’t discouraged though because I knew tomorrow was going to be the perfect time to implement the finale. Even though things didn’t go as planned, (do they ever in motherhood?), I still continued with laying the foundation today. There’s always tomorrow and at least I will get a good night’s sleep knowing the “Me-me” is keeping my son comfortable and in dreamland for one more night.

DAY 4: Once again, my son woke up to a house sprinkled with “Me-me” Fairies. He was excited she had visited again and he told me he was ready to see “Me-me” go bye bye. Right then and there at 6:30AM, I knew today was going to be the day. This was confirmation that he knew what was going on and understood that at the end of our fun “Me-me” week, there would actually be no more “Me-me”. Luckily, my plans to head to the studio to work on my children’s music got cancelled, which allowed for a full day of preparation for what was to come later on that day. It was a very rainy morning but I was still hopeful the sun would come out so we could follow through with our plans. While I was making breakfast, I heard my older son say, “You are such a big boy Julian, right? You don’t need a “Meme” anymore, right? I know you can do it!”. To say I felt proud at that moment is an understatement. It was not only sweet but really helpful for me since my youngest adores his older brother and tries to emulate his every move. My 3 year old responded with “Right Harrison, I am such a big boy and “Me-me’s” are for babies”. I knew it was the right time to clue my kids in on what was to come later on in the day. THE PLAN: I would let my son pick out three balloons, any color of his choice, and then tie his “Me-me” to the balloon with a note for the fairy. He would then release the balloons when he was ready and watch them float up into the sky, eventually reaching another child’s house far far away that needed a “Me-me”. His reaction was perfect and he could hardly control himself. I could almost tell he was imagining the scenario in his head. As the hours passed, we continued to discuss our fun afternoon plans and luckily, naptime wasn’t an argument today. I wanted him to enjoy his beloved “Meme” just one more time, and of course I wanted to reap the benefits as well, since this may be the last nap he ever takes. To my surprise, he didn’t sleep very long, but I think the excitement was too much for him to handle. Before we headed to the store, I printed out a note for the “Me-me” Fairy with her picture on it. On the other side, my son decorated it with stickers and stamps and then I tied the binky to the note with ribbons. I came back from putting our art supplies away and there he was, sucking on his “Meme” with a note and ribbons stuck to it. It was so funny and cute but I was a little sad for him. I was going to be strong, follow through and get the job done.

After I picked up my older son from school, we headed to the store, picked out 2 green balloons (his favorite color) and 1 gold one (his brother’s favorite color), tied the package together, and headed outside. I also bought my older son a balloon to release as well, so he wouldn’t feel left out. The lady at the balloon counter kept asking if I wanted a weight so the balloons wouldn't fly away and I said no weights today for us. Our mission is to fly!

The excitement on my son's face was priceless!

We found an open area without any trees in our way and my son put the binky in his mouth for the last time. I almost thought he was going to float away. I told him when he was ready, he could open his mouth and the balloons would fly away and within seconds, the balloons were high up in the sky with the note and binky attached. He was waving and yelling goodbye to his “Me-me” and then told it he loved it, which melted my heart. He wasn’t sad or upset, but so excited and full of joy. My husband had just gotten home from travelling so we were able to share this moment as a family, which was very special. After snapping pictures and a video, I realized the tears were falling from my eyes, not my sons. Luckily I was able to hide my emotions behind my sunglasses. I think it hit me then that a huge part of my son’s life was now gone and he was growing up. I quickly rubbed my belly knowing I had another baby on the way and told myself it was okay to let my 3 year old baby be my big boy.

To celebrate, we took my son out for sushi (his favorite), and even got him a special dessert with a candle in it. During our bedtime reading routine, he asked me where his “Meme” was a few times and I told him it’s still flying in the sky. He turned a bit sad but I whipped out some bubbles I had stashed in his room for this very moment, and told him that since he doesn’t have a “Me-me” in his mouth, he could blow bubbles instead. He loved the idea and quickly changed his attitude. Bedtime definitely took a bit longer that night but he eventually fell asleep. He told me that his “Me-me” would find him again and fly right back home. I didn’t argue and want to start a whole discussion right as he was to go to sleep but I told him that he would be okay and how proud I was of him. Today was a really special day and it’s going to take a while for him to adjust but I know he will do just fine. I already wrapped his first “Me-me” reward gift and will place it on his floor so he can see it first thing when he wakes up instead of focusing on his absent “Me-me”. I will also place one in my oldest son’s room since he has been so helpful and deserves his own reward. My approach with him when he was 3 was a bit different but also worked, so it goes to show you that there is no one right or wrong way to carry out a “Me-me” removal mission. I am off to exhale and put my feet up as it’s been a long day. More to come tomorrow.

DAY 5: My son woke up very early at 5:45AM, which I expected, but he did not get up once in the middle of the night asking for his “Me-me”, which I was happy about. He was super excited about the gift the “Me-me” Fairy left for him and I told him again how proud I was of him. I decided not to mention the “Me-me” anymore unless he brought it up. Later on in the day, I was a bit nervous for naptime but didn’t want to focus on it too much. Even with the “Me-me”, he was starting to phase out the idea of napping so I prepared myself if it didn’t go so well. I thought the fact he had gotten up so early would help in the napping process but not so much. He tried a few times but he said he was unable to fall asleep. I didn’t argue or press too hard and nap time was over. He did ask me a few times where his “Me-me” was so I told him it was still floating in the sky and about to land soon. I quickly changed the topic to what we are cooking for dinner and he didn’t seem to notice. That night, he easily went to bed and didn’t even ask for his “Me-me, which made me so happy. Since on the weekends we don’t put him down for a nap, I still don’t know if nap will ever happen again. I will have to try during the week and see. I am just so proud of my son and am thrilled the whole mission was a success.

DAY 6: I decided this morning would be the end the “Me-me” Fairy gifts moving forward. My son has not asked for them and doesn’t seem to need it as reinforcement. I am going to save all of his leftover presents for good behavior days or for the holidays. The reason I bought the presents in the first place is because when I took the binky away from my 5 year old, he was very focused on it, and we had to carry on the binky fairy conversation for a while. With my younger son, he is more focused on playing with his older brother, so it’s not so much the topic of conversation or center of attention in his world. So… we are now “Me-me” free, and I almost can’t believe how easy it was in the end. Most of the work occurred in the preparation, which was well worth it. I’ll give you an update on naps in a few days and report back if anything out of the ordinary happens. Judging by the past 2 days though, I think he is going to be just fine.

Epilogue: So here ends the “Me-me” Diaries and my journey to seeing my son achieve a major milestone in his early life. This experience has created wonderful memories that will last a lifetime, and the knowledge that we can conquer any obstacles that come our way. I hope my experience inspires you, motivates you and gives you the courage as you embark on your own “Me-me” adventure. I am happy to report that my son has napped without his “Me-me”, and although it’s not as consistent as before, it does happen. I can’t wait to see what our next quest will be! Thanks so much for reading.

One proud little boy!

Earning Holiday Gifts

2011-12-15T12:58:00.000-05:00

GUEST BLOG ARTICLE ON

http://www.cdnhorseshoes.com/

I was asked to write this guest blog article and the timing of the subject matter could not have been more perfect for me. As I write this, my feet are propped up on pillows and my 6 month pregnant body is exhausted. Running around all week shopping for the perfect gifts for my two boys, 3 and 5, has definitely taken its toll. Add to that bad behavior, including hitting, whining, not listening and being disrespectful, along with a travelling husband, and it’s a recipe for disaster. How do you justify giving your children gifts for the holidays and rewarding them when their behavior suggests otherwise?

Part of my disciplining strategy lately has definitely included using the boy’s gifts as a weapon, often threatening to head back to the store to return them. It’s an easy tactic to use that also lets them know they need to earn their presents. I am fully aware that I am never going to go run around and return all their gifts so therefore it’s an empty threat. I have actually trained myself to avoid empty threats since they are just not effective and set the tone that consequences don’t exist. Around the holidays though, it’s hard to avoid and it’s an easy “go to” when frustrated and searching for a quick punishment threat. As we all know, being a mother is hard because it always seems that you are doing everything for everyone else and the feeling of not feeling appreciated, is a common one. We want our children to know that we spent all day running around from store to store, looking for the perfect gift for them and we want to hear a thank you once in a while. Unfortunately, expecting your child to understand that concept isn’t always realistic. I do all I do for my kids because I want to, not because I have to. Just knowing the joy I am about to bring to them soon is reward enough for me. However, when they misbehave, it deflates my balloon and makes all the hard work seem like a waste of time.

So are we not going to let our kids celebrate the holidays or not reward them for a year of being great kids? Of course not. So how do we come to a happy medium where we can feel good about our parenting but at the same time allow our children to enjoy the fruits of our labor? Well I certainly had a lot of opportunities to ponder this as my children’s bad behavior kept repeating itself throughout the day today.

I decided to step away from the situation and remember why I was shopping for presents for my boys in the first place. They are amazing little guys who fill me with love and joy, and make my life complete. Are they supposed to behave like angels 100% of the time? At the age of 3 and 5, definitely not! I think it’s important to remember that presents at holiday time is a reward for the whole year, not just the day you are purchasing them. Until the gift giving day arrives, I have implemented our behavior chart again (see previous post: http://mommymasters.blogspot.com/search?q=behavior+chart), which appears when the children seem to forget how to behave. I also took a step back and tried to understand where this unusually bad conduct was coming from. Realizing my 3 year old recently said goodbye to his binky and goodbye to most of his naps, definitely has an effect on his actions. He is more tired than usual, not as calm and is still adjusting, which means I need to be more patient with him and more understanding. Even so, part of my behavior training still included taking away certain privileges for a few days, such as no dessert, no movies in the car, etc. My hope is that in the next few weeks, they will realize their bad behavior has consequences and as they start to change their mindset, I will feel good about presenting them with all their gifts. In addition to taking away fun luxuries, I also want my children to understand how their actions make me feel, and approach them on an emotional level. This is of course easier to do once the anger from the bad behavior subsides. I definitely think it’s important for kids to not only understand the physical consequences, like taking things away, but the emotional ones as well, such as how it makes Mommy feel when they behave badly. Once my kids understood how frustrated I was and how unappreciated I felt, they were quick to apologize and all the yelling, empty threats and tears ended, and real conversation and results started happening. In the end, I love my kids more than life itself, and 9 times out of 10, they are well behaved and well mannered, so I am not going to let a few off days ruin a wonderful holiday.

Happy Holidays from Mommy Masters!

December Parenting Tip-Bedtime Lullaby

2011-12-02T19:35:00.000-05:00

Searching for a new bedtime routine? Enjoy a personalized bedtime lullaby that your child will love!

Educating our Children...and Ourselves

2011-11-26T09:56:00.000-05:00

Guest posted on Harmonic Mama

I always thought choosing a school for my son would be easy but so far, the journey has been challenging. Where I grew up, the children attended whatever public school their area was zoned for, which was a great education. It seems these days, there are so many choices, even within the public school arena. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to have different options to educate your child but it can make your head spin just thinking about it. How do we know we are making the right choice? Will our children excel, get lost in the crowd, get the attention they need, be an individual? With all these questions, it’s no wonder a parent (including me) can be stressed out, confused and utterly lost.

Right now, my husband and I are looking at all of our options and deciding if public school or private school is right for our son, who will be entering Kindergarten next year. Everyone has a different reason for choosing one over the other and of course the first thing that comes to mind is cost. Of course there are other factors to consider, such as student-teacher ratio, possible religious needs, location of the school, curriculum, who their classmates will be, etc. The list goes on and on and is truly mind boggling. Some of you reading this may be asking if we are considering home schooling and the answer is no. Hats off to those that dedicate themselves to educating their children on their own, and I am sure there are great reasons to follow the home school path, but we will be pursuing a different route.

Once you educate yourself on the different options available to your child, it is of course a good idea to tour the school, ask questions, and see the environment for yourself. This seems like an easy task but when I called up a local public school, they told me they did not give tours and that the best way to view the school would be online through a virtual tour. WHAT? REALLY?!?! I couldn’t believe this response, felt very unwelcomed, and of course would never make an important decision like this based on what I see online vs. in person. In addition to talking with the schools, what are other ways to educate ourselves? In my case, since I was having a difficult time connecting with my local school, have found that talking with parents whose children attend these schools, is a great way to gather information. I also love talking with the actual students since they give you the most honest answers as to the negative and positives of their school.

We want our son to get a great education, meet wonderful people, have great teachers and mentors, be challenged, stand out and be an individual, and of course, be happy. Parents I speak to who have been through the process, tell me that when you walk into the right school, you will just know. I wonder if it’s similar to trying on a wedding dress, looking in the mirror and just knowing you have found the right one. While finding a school can no doubt be stressful, I think as long as you follow your instincts, you can’t make a wrong choice. No one knows your child better than you so have confidence, be open minded, and explore all the options that make sense for your child and your family. Now all I have to do is follow my own advice!

Thanks for reading. Please share your educational experiences with Mommy Masters and don't forget to become a fan on Facebook!

Guest Blogger and Award Winning Children's Author Jo An Kairys Presents: THE MAGIC OF CHILDREN’S PICTURE BOOKS

2011-11-17T07:32:00.001-05:00

November is a wonderful confluence of online events: Picture Book Month, National Picture Book Idea Month and National Blog Posting Month. Thanks to Mommy Masters for helping me honor all of them by sharing how much I love writing children’s books!

Sometimes the rush of children’s chatter seems more “noise” than I/we want to hear. But if I stop to listen, I hear rich, magical sounds. I know, the cacophony can be too much sound blaring at once—get out the headphones!

Young children are all about auditory expressions. One day I heard my 5 and 3 year-old granddaughters talking about rain—they were eager to get outdoors and impatient for the passing storm to end. So, they pretended they were the rain. “SWOOSH! SPLAT!” Their words were innocently onomatopoeic. For me as a storyteller, they were inspiration.

Watch toddler boys as they play with cars or trains. “ZOOM! BOOM!” As a picture book author, I hear sounds. Sounds become actions. So when my granddaughters were excited one evening as they watched a purple sunset, they exclaimed, loudly, “LOOK! LOOK! The sun changed into pajamas!” That moment sparked the idea for my new picture book, Sunbelievable. Sound became story.

From that point, I paid even closer attention to the girls’ make-believe. When their brother was born, his “WAH! WAH!” noises entered the vocal landscape. Listening to three children at once, as you probably know, can be a bit overwhelming. So I focused on sounds that would, in reverse, catch their attention when I read to them aloud, mimicking their voices and energy.

I’ve been a professional medical/science writer for years. Transitioning to children’s stories was a huge challenge—altering my writing style from very technical (following strict guidelines and rules) to imaginative and creative without a proscribed format.

So, for this month’s focus on picture books, and writing about what’s meaningful to me as a mom, parent and grandparent—I’m happy to join the celebration. It came as a complete shock when learning that Sunbelievable won the Mom’s Choice Award in the “Imagine It” category. It’s a joyful experience to watch our children grow and thrive. Being in the medical profession in addition to writing children’s books, I’m committed to promoting healthy growth and development. The co-author of Sunbelievable is a general surgeon, the kids’ grandfather is a pediatrician, and their mom is a pediatric Nurse Practitioner. We all do our collective best for children’s wellbeing and safety. Sunbelievable is a lead free book!

Along those lines, we’ve added a Q&A section about a topic that garners a lot of attention these days—immunizations. Not a day goes by without someone asking for advice. When we do joint readings of Sunbelievable at schools, the subject invariably comes up. So, here’s a virtual response—just pretend you’ve just heard the book read by our 7 year old main character, YaYa. I chose this for her fictional name because I love the sound, YAHYAH (which, incidentally means grandmother in several languages)!

Jo Ann Kairys is the Mom’s Choice award-winning author of Sunbelievable, published in October 2011. It’s a story told by YaYa and her younger sister about a magical Sun. NASA’s Chief Technologist contributed a wonderful piece for young readers about the real Sun. The international Mom’s Choice award program recognizes the best in quality, family-friendly products and services. Parents, educators, librarians and retailers look for the Mom’s Choice Awards Honoring Excellence seal of approval when selecting quality materials for children and families. Head over to Jo Ann’s website and blog to learn more about this lovely book: http://storyquestbooks.com.

SPECIAL Q&A SECTION by Steven Kairys, MD, MPH, FAACP, Chairman, Department of Pediatrics, Medical Director, K. Hovnanian Children's Hospital, Jersey Shore University Medical Center,Neptune, NJ

1. Why is there so much adverse media about immunizations? I don't hear so much about antibiotics or even so much about big time drugs like Ritalin or Prozac.
The adverse media is the result of three factors. First of all, vaccines are given very regularly during infancy and early childhood. Infants and toddlers also get sicker more often than older children. They do not have the immunity to viruses that older children have by virtue of previous exposure. Vaccines do cause minor side effects such as fever and irritability for a day or two. Secondly, problems such as autism and developmental delays and seizures also present in this same time frame. So it is not surprising that some people try to link the immunizations to the other conditions. Thirdly, this was given 'scientific' credibility in 1978 when Dr Wakefield , from Scotland, published a study in a leading journal, Lancet, stating that the vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella ( MMR) was linked to autism. That study has since been shown to be wrong and the data to have been manipulated, but the fear factor was out full force and continues to be advanced by media stars and others.

2. Why do schools mandate immunizations for entry- don't I as parent have the right to decide what's best for my child
Schools and legislatures want school children to be as safe as possible from any illness that can be spread in the tight quarters of a school. One of the principles of immunization protection is that if over 80% of the population in question is immunized, then the chance of spread in a school, etc., is much reduced should one person enter the school ill from that disease. If the protection rate falls below 80% then this ‘herd immunity’ is reduced and the risk of epidemic illness grows proportionally. Mandating the children enter school immunized thus greatly reduces the risk of epidemics. The recent epidemics in schools of whooping cough, measles, mumps attest to the fact that these illnesses are always around.

3. Can so many new vaccines be good for my baby- won't it overwhelm the immune system
Each vaccine produces an immune response so that the child will be protected from a live infection should there be exposure. The body has a tremendous ability to make immune responses to foreign substances be they vaccines or viral illness or to a pollen or environmental substances. The immune system is not overwhelmed and in fact is stimulated by the immunizations. Children are naturally exposed to thousands of foreign proteins and germs daily. The five or six from a vaccination is very small in comparison.

4. What are the dangers of immunizations that doctors do agree can happen
Immunizations do have some risks depending on the specific vaccination. They all can cause soreness at the site, local redness and even rarely a small abscess at the site. They can cause a low grade fever. Very rarely they can cause high fever and seizures. A few children can prove to be allergic to be a particular component, Major side effects are very rare, more rare than the side effects of Tylenol use or cold medicines in children.

5. Why do some immunizations wear out after 5 or 10 years and others last forever
For slow moving infections like hepatitis, immune memory is activated within plenty of time to prevent the disease after exposure to a person who has been vaccinated, and booster vaccines are not needed. Other vaccines that do not appear to require boosters because the pace of infection is slow include measles and polio.
There are some newer vaccines that may require booster shots to remain effective during a lifetime, including vaccines for diphtheria, all three types of spinal meningitis caused by bacteria, pertussis and the new vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. Booster shots are needed in these cases because the disease progression is too fast for the memory response from the immune system to occur in time.

6. Are there some immunizations that are clearly vital and others that are more optional
The recommended schedule promoted by the Center for Disease Control covers very dangerous and prevalent diseases. Although children in this country do not die as they do in third world countries from Hepatitis A and Rotavirus, those viruses can cause tremendous morbidity and complications.

If you have any additional questions, you can post them on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Story-Quest-Childrens-Books/144083522309282

Thank you for reading!

Jo Ann Kairys, MPH
Mom's Choice Children's Book Award Winner 2010
Co-author of Sunbelievable: Connecting Children with Science and Nature
http://storyquestbooks.com

Jo Ann is a professional medical/science writer, published widely in medical journals for health professionals. She and husband Steve have taught extensively in Russia and Central and Eastern Europe, working with medical centers to improve health care quality. Inspiration for children's book writing comes from these travels and 5 grandchildren who love storytelling and reading. The main characters in Sunbelievable tell each other hilarious tales about the Sun's magical adventures. Jo Ann teamed up with her son, a general surgeon--an avid read aloud dad, and NASA's Chief Technologist who contributed facts about the real Sun. The Mom's Choice Award recognizes Sunbelievable in the "Imagine It" category.

November Parenting Tip

2011-11-13T13:35:00.002-05:00

This month’s tip focuses on your creative side as a parent and how being a little imaginative can make a big difference. I had an opportunity to think outside the box and I hope my example below inspires you to do the same.

My youngest son, who is 3, is very attached to me and would rather stay home than go to school. When I drop him off, he grabs onto my leg and cries, which breaks my heart. I had already tried different tactics for a more pleasant educational experience for him, but the result always remained the same. I was truly at a loss until one morning when he was attempting to dress himself, and an idea popped into my head. We both wanted something here and I realized his fashion disaster could be turned into a great opportunity for both of us. He wanted to wear the horrid outfit he had picked out for school and I wanted him to be able to enjoy school without being sad. So how do our two wishes connect? I explained that he had on magical shorts and that he could absolutely wear them, but only if there were no tears at school that morning. He was intrigued and wanted to hear more. I continued to tell him that these shorts gave him special powers that would prevent him from crying or missing mommy when he went to school. He quickly agreed to the contract between his shorts and his new positive attitude at school and we dropped the subject until we walked into his classroom.

As usual, upon me leaving him, he grabbed my leg and asked that I stay with him. My heart was breaking on the inside but I had to be strong and think quick. I then launched part 2 of my magical shorts plan. I reminded him about his lucky shorts and told him that they had even more special powers than what we had talked about. If he rubbed his shorts and thought of me, I would then feel a flutter in my heart and we would then be thinking of each other at the same time. His face lit up and then we practiced a few times in his classroom before I planned my escape. When I told him it worked and I felt it in my heart, he was so blissful, and truly excited that he and I would have a special, secret connection while he was in school without me. When I attempted to leave this time, there was no argument, whining or sad looking lip sticking out, which made me a very happy mommy. When I picked him up, his teacher mentioned he had a surprisingly “super” day without tears or sad faces. My son whispered to me that he rubbed his magic shorts while at school, and I told him that I know and could feel it all morning. If I remember correctly, on the car ride home, he said, “mommy, that was my best day ever at school”. I was beyond happy that my plan had worked and delighted that my son had really let go and allowed himself to enjoy his time at school. I will definitely be using this trick again!

This month’s tip is to use situations to your advantage, be creative and invent new ways to connect with your child on an emotional level. By not focusing on silly things like whether or not my son’s shorts matched his shirt, I avoided a morning meltdown by letting him wear what he wanted, and at the same time, helped with a totally unrelated situation at school. Think outside the box and have fun coming up with new parenting tactics. You never know what you can think up next! I have to tell you that I think those shorts really did have magical powers because that morning, while my son was at school, I actually felt my heart flutter a few times, and it was the best feeling in the world!

Thanks for reading and remember, together we can master motherhood!

Don’t forget to visit Mommy Masters on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters, and click “Like” to become a fan, to participate in fun discussions, read updates on my children’s music, and ask for parenting advice.

What Makes you a Mommy Master?

2011-11-10T16:42:00.000-05:00

Guest Posted on the Tales From the Nursery blog at
http://www.darcyandbrian.com/.

I often get asked what the definition of a Mommy Master is. The answer actually lies within oneself since everyone has a different definition of what make them a successful parent. Let me start off by saying that no one is truly a Mommy Master every day of their life. Some days we succeed at motherhood and other days, not so much. There are times when we feel on top of the world because our kids ate all their vegetables, listened, napped and said please and thank you without prodding. Other days, we feel defeated because we couldn’t fit in a shower, never got around to folding that load of laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for 2 days, made leftovers again, yelled at our kids and had no patience. Just as in life, you never know what the day will bring and the same rule applies to parenthood. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world and we need to give ourselves a break, and recognize when we do have those incredible rewarding moments, no matter how insignificant they may seem. These are the moments that make us Mommy Masters!

Some moms we know consider themselves supermoms and try to do it all, while making it look effortless. Other moms admit they are an absolute mess and struggle from the time they wake up to the time they head to bed. No matter what type of mom you are and for the record, there is no one type that is better than the other, motherhood is challenging to EVERYONE! I say if you show your children love and support, teach them how to be good people with good manners, and have their utmost best interest at heart, you are doing great! All the other items we strive to check off our “do to” list are just items and can always wait another day, even though we tend to think the world is going to end if they don’t get completed. I am definitely guilty of that!

Everyone’s lives are different, which means we each experience our own challenges. One person’s downfall may be another’s strong point. One mom’s definition of a successful day at parenting might be considered a failure to another. Whatever makes you feel accomplished as a mother, whether big or small, makes you a Mommy Master. It is very important not to compare yourself to your best friend or the mom down the block who always looks amazing with her make up on, her hair blown straight, and whose kids are always dressed perfectly and are well behaved. For all you know, her house may be an absolute mess and she probably bribed her children with chocolate for breakfast. My point is don’t let looks deceive you, because you never know what is really going on in someone else’s life. Create your own standards to live up to and remember to keep them realistic.

So what kind of accomplishments qualifies you to be a Mommy Master? EVERY SINGLE ONE! If you got everyone out of the house on time this morning, you are a Mommy Master! If your kids said they loved you today, you are a Mommy Master. If you were able to put on some make up today, you are a Mommy Master. If your child told you that you are the best mom, you are definitely a Mommy Master. If you were able to get the kids fed, bathed and put to bed on time, all on your own, while your husband was out of town, you are a Mommy Master. If you are a single mom and are conquering parenthood all by yourself, you are a Mommy Master. If you worked a full day at the office and still managed to cook a gourmet meal for your family, you are a Mommy Master. If you worked a full day at home taking care of the kids and still managed to cook a gourmet meal, I’d say you are a Mommy Master. If you were able to check off one item off your “To Do” list today, you are a Mommy Master. If you hired a sitter and decided to treat yourself to a pedicure, you are a Mommy Master! The list goes on and on... The message here is that whatever feat you accomplished today, big or small, has an impact on you as a mom and you should feel proud. Give yourself credit when credit is due and a pat on the back from time to time…you deserve it!

So what about the days where you would like to request a do-over, or admit you would not be winning the “parent of the day” award? How do you handle the feeling of failure? On a day you may not feel like a Mommy Master, don’t beat yourself up about it. Even recognizing that you have these feelings makes you a Mommy Master and a great parent. Being a Mommy Master isn’t just about celebrating the positive events of motherhood, but being able to recognize the negative ones. Sometimes it’s worth exploring, making changes and discovering what you could have done better, and other times it’s telling yourself you did your best and simply realizing that having a bad day is normal, expected and acceptable. If you think that every day you are going to succeed at being a mom, a wife, and a friend, you are going to be disappointed. We tend to think that everyone around us is watching and grading our parenting report card but the truth is that no one is judging your parenting skills but you, and you are your toughest critic. Reward yourself when you have done a great job and be able to recognize when you could have done it better. There’s always tomorrow and tomorrow brings a new day.

I call myself the Mommy Master, not because I know everything there is to know about parenting and not because every day is filled with victories in my house, but because every day I strive to be the best I can be. Some days I succeed and other days I fail miserably, but regardless of the report card I may give myself, I love my children madly, provide them with the best tools I can to help guide them in life and truly enjoy watching them grow and flourish. With support from other moms, we can share the good with the bad, teach each other, learn from each other, and be the best moms we can be. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a fellow mom and share your struggles. Just because she may seem like she has everything under control doesn’t mean she actually does. You may even be surprised to find out she is having the same issues as you or perhaps even having a worse day. No one is going to think you are a bad parent because you admit your children are driving you nuts one day or if you tell them you feel like screaming and walking out the door. Anyone who tells you parenthood is 100% peachy is lying! Raising a child really does take a village and together we can master motherhood!

You could be the next Mommy Master of the month. Head to http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters, become a fan by clicking “Like”, and share what accomplishment, big or small, made you feel like a Mommy Master. If chosen, you will have the opportunity to be featured on Facebook, along with your blog and/or facebook page URL.

Turning Questions into Life Lessons

2011-10-24T19:35:00.000-04:00

I always think it’s great when kids are inquisitive and ask questions, because they are generally interested in learning. Sometimes though, these questions can make us feel uncomfortable and leave us scrambling for the right answers, while other times it’s a hidden learning opportunity that we must uncover. My youngest son, who is 3, loves to point out different objects when we are driving and tell me their color. Lately, he has had an obsession with his skin color and everyone else’s actually. He is extremely olive skinned and tells me he is the color brown. He recently told his older brother, who is 5 and much paler than he, that they are not the same color. My response was that no matter what color your skin is, everyone is the same inside and skin color is just that, a color. My older son then asked what color he would be considered by others, which I thought was a very interesting question and thought process. I told him that our family is considered Caucasian, or more simply put, white, which was very confusing to him. It especially puzzled my 3 year old who then proceeded to cry and insist that he is brown, not white. Trying to reason with a 3 year old is not easy, so I gave up and said that he is right and that his skin is brown. I wasn’t giving him wrong information since his skin is sort of brownish and not anywhere close to what he has learned as the color white.

I love that children are so innocent and have their own rules for life, and find their naïve curiosity an incredible way to learn and explore. That said, their questions and statements can be inappropriate in the adult world but need to be seen as a wonderful opportunity to educate them. Our explanations and conversations with our children are so important and can mold their minds for the rest of their lives. When kids notice something different, they jump all over it and question it, which at their age, is their job. As parents, our job is to teach our children that being different is okay and in fact, something that makes us all special. This is not an article about race but an article about seizing the moment with your children and recognizing opportunities to educate them. My message to my children is that whether your skin is pale, tan, black, white, brown, or covered in freckles, we are all the same on the inside and we don’t judge anyone based on what they look like. I do make it a point to let them know that their inquisitiveness and questions are a good thing and are always welcome, but we of course want to be sensitive to others while expressing ourselves.

A friend of mine recently told me of an incident that occurred in the parking lot of a local supermarket where she and her 3 year old son had just finished shopping. Her son noticed the skin color of the gentleman that was helping them bring their groceries to the car, and articulated quite loudly that he didn’t like the color black or this man’s skin color. Of course my friend was mortified and quickly took her son aside to tell him that his words were hurtful and inappropriate. He is 3, and of course did not realize that just because he doesn’t like the color black, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t like a person with black skin. This concept was confusing to her son so she created a relatable discussion, mentioning his unique red hair. She told him that none of his friends have red hair and that mommy and daddy do not have red hair, so how would he feel if no one wanted to play with him because the color of his hair and the fact that it was different? He agreed that it would be mean and realized that his statement to the store employee was not appropriate. My friend also pointed out that his favorite teacher at nursery school also has black skin and that he loves her, so didn’t understand why he would have ill feelings about this stranger in the parking lot, based on his black skin. His response was that her skin isn’t black, but that it is brown, which reminded me of what my son had said about his skin color. Clearly, my friend’s son was not being malicious or racially prejudiced, but was simply basing his negative statement on what colors of the rainbow he preferred. I like this story so much because the opportunity to teach our children lifelong lessons like this appear on a daily basis, and we need to be on the lookout and recognize them. Instead of my friend getting angry with her son and immediately looking for a way to punish him, she explained what he had done wrong, why his words were hurtful and without foundation, and spoke to her son on a level that he could understand and relate to. A true Mommy Master!

Our children ask questions and make statements that we may find offensive, but to them, they are calling it like they see it. There is no hate or malintent, but in fact, naivety and innocent ignorance. How do you turn your children’s questions and statements into life lessons? Please share your experiences with Mommy Masters.

October Parenting Tip

2011-10-09T19:51:00.000-04:00

Birthdays usually means lots of presents, which can be exciting for your kids, but also a bit overwhelming. In our house, the boys unwrap all their presents but I prefer they actually only open and play with a few at that time. I put the rest in our toy closet and take them out every few weeks. This way, the kids get to actually enjoy and appreciate each present instead of playing with it for a day and then forgetting about it.

When we have playtime at home and the kids are bored of their toys, I take out a “new” present, and it’s like birthday time all over again. It’s even a great way to reward your kids for good behavior and for helping around the house. One week I may take out an art or activity related gift, such as a coloring project, moon sand or play-dough, board game, etc. Another week I may take out a few superhero related toys and let the boy’s imaginations run wild.

Apply this idea to the upcoming holidays and you will have an endless supply of new toys for your kids to play with. Think of it as building your own toy store at home! Another great tip is if you have received duplicate gifts, instead of returning them to the store, donate them and put a smile on a child’s face who may be less fortunate. Giving back is always a great lesson to teach your children!

Together we can master motherhood! Please share your helpful parenting tips and ideas below by commenting or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters.

Thanks for reading and supporting Mommy Masters.

Outside Influences Inside Your Home

2011-09-26T13:14:00.000-04:00

Written for the Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine Blog http://tampabayparenting.blogspot.com

This article was inspired by Tampa Mom, Krista Jacobs, who has some concerns about her 4 year old, who recently picked up some new behaviors at school. Krista is seeking advice on “how to handle outside influences, for example kids at school that speak or behave in ways not allowed at our home.” Whether your child is in nursery school or 5th grade, outside influences can have a large effect on his/her behavior, both at school and at home.

As parents, we work hard to raise our children with certain beliefs and morals, and have to hope that they will practice these rules in the real world, where we aren’t present to police them. Our children head to school to be educated and socialized, but in addition to being exposed to wonderful new experiences, they also get exposed to bad language, negative habits, peer pressure and unfamiliar situations.

So what are parents like Krista supposed to do to handle the new negative behaviors that have become present in their homes? Take a step back and remember that your children’s peers were not brought up by you. That means their parents may have had different rules, some perhaps more lenient and some even more strict. Have confidence in the way you have raised your child and know that he/she has a wonderful foundation because of you. If your child comes home and starts acting or speaking differently, and it starts to affect what he/she has been taught at home, have an open conversation with him/her. It’s easy to get angry and want to punish your child’s bad behavior, but instead, be patient, especially with the younger ones. Help your child understand why his/her actions are so upsetting and disappointing to you. Explain that even though his/her friends might be talking or acting a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s okay for your child. Ask him/her to stop and think for a second before he/she acts in future situations and wonder, “Would my mom and dad allow me to talk this way? Would this be acceptable in my home”? If the answer is no, then he/she needs to change gears at that moment. Help him/her understand that your family rules apply wherever he/she is, even if mommy and daddy aren’t present. Connect with your child on an emotional level and explain how his/her actions make you feel as their parent. For example, let him/her know how proud you are when he/she makes great decisions and follows your rules. More importantly, discuss how your child will be proud of him/herself when he/she makes good choices.

Some kids are born leaders and others, followers. At school, the followers can tend to make wrong decisions to fit in, feel accepted and to be liked, and for fear of standing up for themselves. You may be surprised to learn your child is a follower at school, since at home, he/she is a leader. Be involved with your child’s school habits, know who his/her friends are and take an active role in who your child is at school. This of course is easier when they are younger but if you start now, you will be providing them with the knowledge to avoid negative school situations as they get older. After you speak with your child, don’t be surprised if he/she expresses that he/she is uncomfortable about standing up for him/himself. Explain that if a friend is making you feel bad or is asking you to make decisions that don’t feel right, then he/she is probably not a true friend. Perhaps this “friend” is not even aware that his/her actions are making your child uncomfortable and if he/she knew, the issues might stop. If this “friend” is someone that you often have over for playdates, it’s a good opportunity to confront the situation and take the pressure off your child, if of course you witness this bullying, use of bad language or overall negative behavior. In a non-threatening manner, you could speak with the child, in front of your child, and let him/her know such manners are not allowed in your home and that it is making your child feel uncomfortable. If it gets to a point that is uncontrollable, confront the parent and find out what is going on. It might be a surprise for this parent to learn their child is acting a certain way and you will be thanked, or it might be behavior that is acceptable in that household. This could be a touchy subject so be sensitive and remember different families have different rules and what works for yours may not work for theirs. If problems at school continue, it’s definitely a good idea to alert the teacher and let them handle it, although he/she is probably already aware. Usually, if a specific child is making your little one act out of character, others are also experiencing the same issue.

In summary, have confidence in the way you have raised your little one and let them try and handle situations on his/her own, using the skills you taught them. Don’t get angry, but instead help your child understand that household rules apply, even when out of the house. Let your child know that it’s okay, and good, to have friends that are different than he/she is, but teach your child to be a leader, to voice his/her opinion and to always be proud of the decisions he/she makes. If these conversations are happening in your home now, you will lay down a wonderful foundation for the future.

I have experienced everything I have written about in this article and have had success in helping my little one gain confidence in who he is and what his beliefs are. The other day on the car ride home from school, my 5 year old said to me, “Mom, I stopped to think to myself today and told my brain that it was not doing the right thing, so I didn’t do it…just like you taught me”. I could not have been more proud, and as I glanced at him in the rear view mirror, I knew he was just as proud!

If you are parent seeking advice, visit Mommy Masters on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters) and be sure to click "like" to become a Fan. Your question might be chosen next to appear on the Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine Blog! If you prefer a more private venue to share your personal parenting concerns, you can contact me at info@mommymasters.com. Remember, together we can master motherhood!

Thanks for reading,
Ellie Hirsch, a.k.a. "The Mommy Master"
http://www.mommymasters.blogspot.com

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO MOMMY MASTERS!!!

2011-09-14T18:57:00.000-04:00

I posted my first article on the Mommy Masters blog in August of 2010 and 46 parenting tips and articles later, I am still just as enthusiastic as I was back then. In one year, I have learned how to create a blog, self educated myself about HTMLs, coding and rankings, and was able to connect with women all over the world. My goal for the blog was and still is to support moms, offer new ideas and different perspectives on parenting, and create a non-judgmental forum to discuss everything and anything that goes on in the life of a mom. Most of all, I wanted to leave an impression on women, letting them know they are never alone in this crazy world of motherhood and that together, we can master anything! I have received wonderful comments from my writings but there were a few that really stayed with me. When I read that I have helped make someone smile and made a difference in their life, it makes it all worth it. I hope this past year, Mommy Masters has made a difference in your life.

There are a lot of great things to come in the near future from Mommy Masters, including my children’s music CD, filled with educational and entertaining musical rhymes. My children’s songs are unique, fun and include themes such as manners, potty time, the first day of school, animals, parts of the body and more. Make sure and “Like” Mommy Masters on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters) so you can read updates on the progress of my CD, coming soon.

I want to thank all my family, my friends and strangers, who I now consider friends, for supporting Mommy Masters. We all know it’s not easy starting something from scratch and trying to make it a success. For all you moms out there who want to follow your dreams but haven’t yet taken the leap, DO IT! With a lot of hard work, confidence and determination, you can do anything…but you already knew that because you’re a mom! Here’s to another year of growth and accomplishments from Mommy Masters and here’s to you, my fans!

Best Wishes,
Ellie Hirsch, a.k.a. The Mommy Master™

A Day to Remember...

2011-09-11T19:39:00.007-04:00

As I was running up 6th Avenue, I looked back and saw the destruction behind me, almost as if I was watching a television screen. There were tons of people, all confused, unsure of what to do and where to go. Only a few minutes before I found myself on the street, a vision of a plane slamming into the Twin Towers was burned into my mind forever. Unsure of what was happening, our office decided it would be best for everyone to evacuate our midtown building and I headed uptown to escape the chaos, along with the rest of NYC. The realness of the situation became apparent as acquaintances, an old friend of mine from high school (R.I.P. Peter C. Alderman*) and a friend from camp, became part of the missing, or held up signs on television hoping their loved ones would walk in the door any minute. It was a very puzzling, sad and emotional day for everyone. It was very hard to process how something so terrible could happen to good people who had simply started their day and went to work, and had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The people of NYC have so much pride and I know I feel so lucky to have lived there and experienced the amazing life of food, fun, culture, diversity and so much more the city had to offer me. The night of the terrible incident, at 7PM, every resident of the Upper East Side came out of their apartments, holding a candle and without anyone saying a word, we all knew that we became part of a special club that day. Later that night, people were on the streets talking and discussing what they had seen earlier in the day, and it was not uncommon to see two people, sometimes strangers, hugging and sharing tears. We were craving each other’s company, not wanting to be alone with our sorrows. The streets that were once filled with yellow cabs and crazy NYC drivers were empty, until a parade of fire trucks, whose men had spent the day at ground zero, were heading uptown. As they drove along 3rd Avenue, the world stopped for a moment, and everyone started clapping for them. It was an indescribable moment that I will never forget. Over the next few weeks and months, life returned to somewhat “normal”, but there were always reminders. I would be at the grocery store or buying a morning bagel and there would be a request for a moment of silence, and without hesitation, all heads in the store would be bowed. Like many, I was seeking laughter and happiness, which seemed to have exited NYC. A few weeks later on 9/30/01, I married my husband, and provided our guests with a much needed mental break. Our wedding was a symbol of new beginnings, however we were often reminded that only a few weeks before, the world had changed forever. On our honeymoon, we were greeted with an empty plane and barely filled resort, realizing that “normal” wasn’t something that would occur anywhere for a while.

September 11, 2001 was a day of destruction that changed lives forever. It was also a day of new beginnings that changed lives forever. I cherished my time as a NYC resident and am glad that I was there on 9/11 to share the mind-boggling experience with my neighbors, friends, and strangers. People needed our support and as New Yorkers, we were willing to do anything, to give it to anyone that needed it! On this day, I offer my love, my prayers, and my thoughts to the families affected by the terrible and heartless tragedy.

For me, the date of 9/11 is not just a day of sorrow but also day of joy. On September 11, 2006, another life changing event occurred and my son, Harrison Miles, was born into the world. People often give a weird look and a sigh when I tell them his birthday, but to me, 9/11 is a great day to be born, filled with hope, love, new beginnings and pride; all qualities that I want my son to possess. One day he will learn the significance of his birthday and realize how lucky he is. It’s not a connotation of death but of life, re-birth and optimism. Happy Birthday to my son, the most amazing, loving, kind, and wonderful little person a mother could know.

Whether you were in NYC to experience 9/11 or you watched it on television, we have all been affected in some way, shape or form. Please take a moment to remember those we lost that day and think about something good and positive in your life that you are appreciative of. Thank you for reading and sharing these memories with me. Where were you when you learned of the attacks and how have they changed your way of life?

*Here is a wonderful example of turning tragedy into something positive: http://www.petercaldermanfoundation.org/

September Parenting Tip

2011-09-07T19:37:00.006-04:00

This month, I decided to change the focus away from our kids for a bit and concentrate on our adult relationships, be it our spouse, partner, boyfriend, etc. As women, we invest a ton of time on our children, our households and our careers, but often times, forget to pay attention to our marriage or relationship that is right in front of our faces. We are busy, worrying about what to serve for dinner, if the laundry is done on time, if lunchboxes have the best snacks in them, if the supermarket shopping is done, what birthday party to have this year, if the dog is fed, if we are prepared for our conference calls and meetings, and perhaps if there is time, somewhere we hope to worry about getting our haircut, looking pretty, exercising and socializing. With all that on one person’s plate, how is there any room to take care of a relationship?

A plant needs to be cared for, fed, and given attention, and without these important steps, the leaves begin to brown, the flowers begin to wilt, the soil dries out and before you know it, the excuse of I’ll do it tomorrow becomes pointless and the plant has died. The same holds true for any relationship and if you make excuses that you will work harder at it tomorrow, it could be too late.

Lucinda Faragher, an Independent Scentsy Consultant, and mother of a 4 year old and 14 month old twins, is clearly a busy woman. She struggles with finding time to spend alone with her husband and has no family nearby to give her a much needed break. This is a common scenario and it’s definitely hard when you can’t call up Grandma and ask if she can watch the kids for a few hours. You need to rely on baby sitters, who may not be as dependable as family, and who of course aren’t free, like family. Whether you are struggling with finding alone time or struggling with reconnecting when there is alone time, here are some tips that will allow you to bond.

1) Relationships take work and similar to our devotion to our children, our careers and households, we need to find the time and dedicate ourselves to them. If you don’t show that you are willing to put in the effort, you cannot expect to get much out of it, resulting in an unhappy marriage, relationship and household. Admitting that work needs to be done and committing to getting your relationship back on track is the first step.

2) Get back into date night and pick one night a week, bi-weekly or even monthly to have alone time with your spouse/partner/boyfriend. Family is great to utilize but if they don't live nearby, find a reliable sitter who your children can bond with and work out a schedule with her. If money is tight, create a date night swap with a friend where she watches your kids and you watch hers.

3) If you are not able to get away from the house for date night, feed the kids and put them to bed early one night and create date night at home. Order in some great food, put on some great music and catch up on old times. Date night at home can also consist of cuddling up and renting a movie or having game night. Turn off your computers, put down your blackberries, cell phones and iPads and shut out the rest of the world for a night. It should be all about the two of you!

4) Reassure your mate that even though you’re busy, you still care. Tell him you love him one afternoon over the phone for no reason at all. During the morning craziness of lunchboxes, breakfast, teeth-brushing and getting dressed, give him a smooch just because. He will be surprised and it will make his day…and yours for making him smile. Don’t forget your children are always watching and listening to what Mommy and Daddy are doing, which means the good and the bad. Demonstrating affection and good communication between you and your spouse in the home is providing your children with a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship is. Believe it or not, what they see in their household, even at a very young age, is what they learn and what they learn is what they practice later on in life. Be good role-models!

5) Slow down once in a while and stop and smell the roses. Don’t forget that you and your husband are the ones that created this life filled with beautiful children, accomplished careers , and a warm and loving home. Celebrate these milestones together and realize that together, life is happier, easier and more fun.

We are all guilty of losing ourselves in everyday life and that includes our husbands too. Moms, don’t think I am letting them off the hook by any means. It takes two to build a relationship and two to make it crumble! I hope these tips will help get you back to where you once were. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen and when it does, everything else will fall into place.

Toddler Talk-Deep Discussions with your Child

2011-09-01T19:53:00.001-04:00

How do you handle tough questions that your kids throw at you? Are you prepared when they mention subjects like G-d? How do we convey answers that we may not know ourselves?

In the car one afternoon, my 4 year old son asked me where G-d is and how come we can’t see him. I was definitely stunned at first but immediately praised him with asking such an important and interesting question. I told him it was wonderful to be curious and that I would be here with open ears any time he had further questions. Realizing I was deflecting the question, for an unknown reason, I addressed the inquiry and immediately began getting down to business. I was really curious as to what HE thought the answer was. He did not know so I explained that different people have their own beliefs and there isn’t one right answer. Personally, I told him that I thought G-d was everywhere and lives in our hearts and in our minds. I wasn’t sure if a 4 year old mind would grasp that but he proved me wrong when he responded that he definitely feels G-d everywhere and can even see him sometimes. My 2 year old interjected at that point and said, “I feel G-d in my baby heart Mommy”. I smiled and was very touched to hear this come out of my children’s mouths. The conversation quickly shifted gears to the fact that my 4 year old was declaring he was going to be Batman when he grew up. Hey, if I am trying to convince my son we believe in a person we can’t see, why can’t he be a superhero as his career of choice, right?

Do we as parents feel that our opinions should be the opinions of our children? I would like my son to form his own judgment of who he thinks G-d is, as well as what his relationship is with this higher power, whoever he or she may be. I think as long as we are honest with our children, respect their views and really listen to what they have to say, our conversations with them will be authentic, easy and natural. Just because your child may be a toddler, doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t have real and wonderful thoughts about grown up subjects, i.e. G-d. I love having genuine discussions with my 4 year old son. He tells me his opinion and I tell him mine. If we disagree about something, it sparks a wonderful exchange between us and in the end, we both learn more about each other, what we are each thinking and how we look at life. If my son feels comfortable about approaching me when he is 4, whether it’s questions about G-d or what superhero to be when he grows up, I am hoping that it opens the door to future conversations when he is 13, 16, 25 and beyond.

What important subjects have your toddlers brought up to you? How did you handle the conversation? Mommy masters would love to hear your experiences so we can all learn from each other. Together we can master motherhood!

CHILDisms

2011-08-18T19:46:00.000-04:00

A few months back, I posted some of the typical MOMMYisms that I found myself saying over and over. This time, I thought it would be fun to read what the children are saying. Here is what is buzzing in my ears most days, from the mouths of my 4 and 2 year old boys:

1) I love you 50 pounds
2) You look beautiful today Mommy
3) I like your dress
4) You’re a really good mom
5) Are you a supermom?
6) Mommy, are you happy today?
7) Can I help you make dinner tonight?
8) I am a great helper
9) Will you be my girlfriend Mommy?
10) I love you this many
11) I will miss you when I’m sleeping
12) I am so brave, right Mommy?
13) I am not a baby any more, right Mommy?
14) How many are you Mommy?
15) You’re my best friend Mommy
16) I am not your best friend anymore Mommy
17) I’m mad at you
18) Well poopie on you then
19) When I grow up, I think I’ll be a superhero
20) Pickie uppie
21) I h-u-n-g-y
22) 5 more minutes!
23) No!
24) I think I should get an extra dessert tonight, right Mommy?
25) Um...um...um...um...um...
26) I never get anything
27) I have no toys
28) Please? I’ll be your best friend with a cherry on top!
29) Gosh didley doughnuts
30) Mommy, will you be my mom forever? YES!!!

What are some of the cute, funny, loving and wacky things your child says? Please share with Mommy Masters and leave a comment. I love reading them! Don't forget to become a "Follower" if you haven't already.

August Parenting Tip

2011-08-10T19:58:00.000-04:00

For this month’s parenting tip, I am sharing my experience with behavior charts because of the success I have had. It’s not only a wonderful art project and creative activity to do together, but it will change your household for the better. My two toddlers are very well behaved, however like most moms, I sometimes wonder if I am talking to a brick wall. As soon as I implemented the behavior chart a few weeks back, the boys had an incentive to listen and to practice their manners, and helped create a better family environment. With fun stickers, markers and a little imagination, your little ones will get excited about their new chart and you will see a big difference in the atmosphere in your home.

Our chart is based on a ten point system where one point is rewarded for each demonstrated good behavior. The boys are allowed to pick from a variety of stickers to use and I let them place one on the chart when it is earned. Each week, I change the theme of the stickers to keep them excited. One week we did superheroes and the next, different color smiley faces. When they reach ten points, they are allowed a special, tasty treat. This could mean a trip to the ice cream store or McDonalds, or an extra dessert or special treat at home. I prefer to reward their behavior with food as opposed to toys since in my experience, I have found that their motivation was based on material things vs. doing the right thing. Interestingly enough, they see the food as a great reward and incentive, however care more about getting the actual points, which is the whole “point”! My kids get so excited when they get a point and love to count how many stickers they have multiple times a day. It’s actually been quite educational for them which is an added bonus! Seeing my children behave is wonderful but witnessing how proud they are when they do something right is priceless.

What makes my chart system a bit different is that when I find my children are not behaving, points can be taken away. This reward and discipline system really helps a child focus on what the consequences of their actions are, good and bad. I have noticed that my boys are now stopping to think before acting, and I will often hear, “Mommy, I will lose a point if I don’t make a good choice, right?” That makes me one proud momma! Some examples of when a point might be given is for sharing, caring, helping, listening, going to bed on time, putting clothes in the hamper, saying please and demonstrating other manners, etc. Some examples of when a point might be taken away is if Mommy has to ask multiple times for a task to be done, not listening, not sharing, fighting, hitting, being disrespectful, saying bad words, etc. Getting to ten points is not an easy task and in my opinion, it should be challenging but attainable. I give the boys one week to reach their goal and if they do not succeed, then we start all over for the next week.

Here is one of our charts which my kid's helped make:

Keep Mommy Masters informed as to the progress your child is making with his/her new chart! If you have other ideas for behavior charts that work for your family, please share with Mommy Masters.

Together, we can master motherhood!

My Journey to Claiming my House Back...One Toy at a Time!

2011-07-31T19:00:00.001-04:00

Have children taken over your home? Do you trip over toys in the middle of the night? Are you constantly cleaning up the same mess, multiple times a day? My answers would be YES, YES, and YES!!! When we moved into our home 3 ½ years ago, we set aside a play area in our family room for our boys, which is now overflowing with toys and a constant cleaning project for me. It seems the playroom now extends into every room and the time has come to clean house and make some changes! With the help of my friend and savior, who also happens to be a very talented and amazing designer, we are going to get my house back and turn the toy clutter into an organized, functional space.

There are some houses I have been to that were so cluttered with toys, it was difficult to see the floor. I felt disorganized and anxiety ridden just being there! I don’t want somebody to feel that way in my home, especially me! It’s not simple to find extra space in your house but you have to be willing to shake things up and play with new ideas. I believe that with a little work and a lot of patience and creativity, you can gain your space back and make it work for everyone. Consider your child’s age, what their needs are, how they play, what your needs are, and come up with a plan that satisfies your whole family.

When my friend came over, the first thing we did was take a long look around and decide what was going to stay and what was going to be donated or sent to a consignment shop. It’s pretty amazing to discover what items in your house are completely useless and what are actually pretty useful and not living up to their potential functionality. With a few instructions from my friend on de-cluttering, I was excited to start the transformation and pretty quickly, my playroom, a.k.a family room, a.k.a media room, already looked twice the size. I felt really good about this transformation and couldn’t wait for my next set of commands towards the world of order. It’s definitely scary to make changes in your home, but the truth is that when toys are organized and put away the right way, they are easier to find, last longer and in the end, serve their purpose better.

The next step was to get rid of my 14 year old blue couches that were hanging on by a thread, literally. My 55lb dog thought the couch was a chew toy and managed to take all of the stuffing out. Between the dog and the endless leaky sippy cups, who knew what else was lurking in those sad sofas. It got to the point where my husband and I were pretty embarrassed by them and we didn’t want people to come over. We had had enough, decided to move on and had them hauled out of the house. One of them will live on and was donated to a local church, while the other, had to be put to rest. We found a superb deal on new couches on the 4th of July, and couldn’t believe the discount we walked away with! I suggest you look for great holiday sales and take advantage when you can. Little by little, our house will come together, look like adults live here and be a place that we can be proud to show off!

Do you have a current house project going on or need to start one? First look at what furniture you have to work with, try moving it around to different areas and creating a different layout. You will be surprised at how a little change can make a big difference! If you are holding on to a piece of furniture that you have been dating for a long time but it just doesn’t serve the same purpose as it once did, it’s time to purge and break it off. Trade it in for a new model and don’t look back! Don’t let your kid’s toys take over your home and define your style. Are there certain toys that haven’t been played with in a long time? Do a toy swap with a friend, donate them, or bring to a consignment shop to make more room. Stay tuned for more decorating and organization tips from Mommy Masters and follow me through my journey to gaining my house back!

At least I can see my floor...but still a long way to go...

Leave a comment below, become a Google "Follower", and you will be entered to win a $15 Target gift card. The winner will be announced on Facebook so make sure to visit http://www.facebook.com/mommymasters and click "Like".

MOMMY MASTERS GIVEAWAY

2011-07-27T08:36:00.001-04:00

Help Mommy Masters reach 500 Facebook Fans and you could win a $15 Target gift card. Here's how to enter:
-Become a "Follower" of the Mommy Masters blog and leave a comment to let me know you stopped by.
-Head to www.facebook.com/mommymasters and click "Like" to become a Facebook fan. Don't forget to "Like" from your personal page as well as your Fan page so it counts towards the 500.

A winner will be picked using random.org and announced on Facebook after 500 fans have been reached. If there ends up being more than 500 fans at time of drawing, all fans will be included of course.

Good Luck!
Ellie Hirsch
"The Mommy Master"

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

2011-07-12T13:00:00.003-04:00

As Seen on The Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine Blog!
http://www.tampabayparenting.blogspot.com/

My son asked me a really good question the day which made me smile but also made me think. He said, “Mommy…what are you going to be when you grow up”? I was sort of baffled because as a grown-up, we are supposed to know already, right? Well it seems in my case, I am just figuring that out. His inquiry really made me think about who I am, who I want to be and how I am going to get there!

Stay-at-home mom has been my title for the last few years when I decided to say goodbye to the work force, for various reasons. The ironic part of staying home is that it took a resignation from my job to figure out what I really wanted to be when I grew up. Since having my two boys, I have never felt so inspired to do all the things I ever wanted to do…and do well. So far, motherhood has been my best and most rewarding job, and has inspired me to start my business, Mommy Masters™. This article is not just about me though, but about you and what your goals and dreams are. Have you reached them yet? If not, how are you going to get there? What inspires you and gives you the confidence to do what you love? All of these questions are important ones that can help you decide what you want to do with your life. Why are little kids the only ones who get to answer the “what do you want to be” question? You are never too old to follow your dreams and make a change! Who says we ever have to really grow up anyway?

Mommy Masters is about becoming a better woman, which will allow you to be a better mom, wife and friend. Whether it’s a super-hero, children’s song writer, mommy blogger, nurse, chef or lawyer…ask yourself…what do you want to be when you grow up? Mommy Masters would love to hear success stories of women who got inspired, changed their path and are now living their dream.

Thanks for reading and supporting Mommy Masters! I am working hard on bringing you my children’s songs and can’t wait to share my dream with you!

July Parenting Tip

2011-07-08T13:39:00.000-04:00

Dinnertime can be a challenging time in many households. In my home, the scenario is pretty typical: kids are cranky and hungry, dinner needs to be prepared and cooked, table needs to be set, and I am running on empty. As moms, we are gifted with the ability to multitask, but when we discover an opportunity to cut back, we jump on the bandwagon. Here is a great time saver that I use pretty much every day.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have your table already set for you when dinner is ready to be served? When I am cleaning up from breakfast or preparing my lunch, I set the table, so when dinnertime arrives, it's one less task on my mealtime list. I even fill up sippy cups and leave in the fridge for easy access later on. This trick saves me time and even if it’s five minutes, I’ll take it!

A simple tip can make a big difference in the life of a mom. I strive to master motherhood every day and I find it’s the small steps that make the biggest impact! What small tips help you be a Mommy Master?

Thanks for reading. I look forward to your comments and if you have a blog or Facebook page, please leave your information so I can visit and follow you back.

MOMMYisms

2011-06-27T12:34:00.001-04:00

We are moms, which means we are broken records, or scratched discs, if we want to modernize the saying. We spin around and around and around, spewing the same music over and over again. Whether you say the typical phrases or have your own variety, I thought it would be fun to share my usual suspects, in no particular order. You will notice the theme here is expressions that are used in frustrating situations.

1) The point of getting in a car is to get somewhere…PLEASE get in the car!
2) The point of driving somewhere is to get somewhere….PLEASE get out of the car!
3) Don’t forget to wash your hands, take off your shoes and put them away.
4) Where are your shoes?
5) Keep your hands to yourself!
6) How many times do I have to tell you?
7) If I have to tell you one more time…
8) Do you need to go potty?
9) Seriously?
10) Is that a good decision?
11) What happens when you don’t listen? You get hurt…and what happened? You got hurt!
12) Are you listening with your toes or with your ears today?
13) When we don’t listen, we lose!
14) When you listen to Mommy, Mommy listens to you.
15) Why would you do that?
16) Hold my hand!
17) Let’s go!
18) Mommy is starting to get upset!
19) Don’t put that in your mouth!
20) Thank you Mommy

Please share with Mommy Masters what some of your favorite go-to sayings are in times of frustration. Sometimes it’s nice to change the record…or disc.

Check back next month for the positive themed list. This one was more fun to start with! :)

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-18T21:14:00.001-04:00

This post is all about the Dads out there and the men in our children’s lives. Even though we sometimes grumble that we can’t live with them, often times we definitely couldn’t live without them. They add an element to our kid’s lives that is special, unique and truly amazing to watch. We are all guilty of complaining about our husbands and how they either don’t do enough, don’t do enough right or the fact that they just don’t do anything! This article is about celebrating these men on Father’s Day and all they add to our families.

My boys love their Dad and think he is a super hero with super strength. I often hear them telling other men, i.e. the plumber, the cashier at the supermarket, the mailman, etc., that their Daddy is the tallest, strongest and biggest guy EVER. Sometimes Dads don’t get enough credit so I am here to say hats off to Dads everywhere who are there for their children, who work their butt off to put food on the table and a roof over their children’s heads, and who don’t mind brushing a Barbie doll’s hair. We all know men are really big kids anyway so the title of Dad is a perfect one! Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s out there, especially my wonderful husband and of course my own kind and amazing father!

Mommy Masters Welcomes Guest Blogger, Shari Mezrah, a.k.a. "The Sleep Mom"

2011-06-13T08:12:00.000-04:00

The Sleep Mom’s Tips For Travel-Written by Shari Mezrah

Vacations should not be missed! This is the best time to spend with your family but it pays to be prepared.

For Babies:

1. Try to plan travel time around nap/feeding time if possible.
2. Feed your baby on take-off and landing if your baby is awake.
3. If you are traveling across one time zone, stay on your current feeding and sleep schedule.
4. If you are going for an extended stay across multiple time zones, get on track to the current local time. Be patient when you return, it will take a few days to get back on track.
5. When traveling on an airplane and if your baby is a lap-child, be prepared to be a little uncomfortable in your seat. You may want to bring a pillow give you more comfort.
6. On the airplane, be prepared for diaper changing. Put your baby in an overnight diaper if you are going on a long flight. This will help absorb liquid and keep baby feeling drier and happier!
7. Don’t rely on flight attendants for assistance. They typically are not thrilled to help.

For Toddlers/Older Kids:
1. Keep them busy! The Sleep Mom recommends a “Kids Pack.” Place all kinds of goodies in a bag for your kids to play with in the car and/or on the plane. Let the kids pick one item at a time from the pack to play with. This can be anything from books to toys to play with.
2. Portable DVD player is a must for a long flight or car ride. Pick movies/or educational videos that your children will enjoy!
3. Create your own “Flight Plan!” This is your family schedule in 30 minute increments for a long ride or travel time. Kids love to know a plan, so give them one! It also allows you to not have to think about what to do next. Map out your trip on a sheet of paper with days and times and what activities you will be doing during your trip. This visual is especially helpful for older kids (ages 6 and up).
4. Be consistent with bedtimes during the summer! Do not allow your kids to stay up late every night. Have a summer bedtime and stick to it. Otherwise, kids become way too over stimulated and in turn overly tired. On occasion, make a special “late night” for your kids to stay up later as a reward for good behavior.

For All Kids:
Home Sweet Home - It is very important when traveling to bring a “a piece of home” with you on your trip. This helps to re-create your safe, secure environment in your temporary home. Take some of these items along:
1. Sound Soother. A friendly “white noise” that will help everyone sleep in a new environment or at least drown out the sound of snoring!
2. An attachment item such as a blanket or soft cuddle toy.
3. A mini photo album with pictures of home, friends, and family.

For more information, please contact:
Shari Mezrah, The Sleep Mom
Sleep Schedule Specialist
(813) 760-1111
www.thesleepmom.com

WIN A SIGNED COPY OF SHARI'S BOOK,"THE BABY SLEEPS TONIGHT"!!!
To Enter:
1) Follow Mommy Masters via Email (enter information on sidebar) and become a Google Friend Connect Follower
2) Leave a comment telling Mommy Masters why you would like to read Shari Mezrah's book
3) Winner will be chosen at random and contest ends on Friday, 5/24 at 8PM(EST)

Thanks for stopping by and good luck!!!

June Parenting Tip

2011-06-07T13:42:00.000-04:00

For many of our kids, school is out and the summer fun has begun. We find ourselves looking for anything and everything to do with them that is amusing and doesn’t involve trekking around town. Even if camp is going to be part of your summer, there are usually a few weeks of down time before the session starts. When you and your child are used to a certain schedule during the school year, change can be a hard adjustment and you are often left thinking, “hmmm…what do I do with them now?”

Well the good news is having a great time with your children doesn’t have to be expensive and in fact, you don’t even need to leave the house. The zoo, the aquarium or local museums are always great outlets but can often be over-crowded and admission fees and annual memberships are not cheap. I like to save those trips for rainy days, if we are not having movie day packed with popcorn, our PJs and cuddle time. School time and even camp time means lunch boxes and rushing out the door, so I say relax, hang out at home or in your backyard, and enjoy the schedule free day.

Why not make it silly sock day in your house tomorrow? Not only will it make dressing time easier but your kids will get a kick out of it. They do fun little things like that at school so I figured why not continue the entertainment at home. We might even declare one day this week hilarious hat day, which means getting out the art supplies and spending some time creating outrageous hats…a great activity. You don’t always have to run around to keep your kids entertained, and with today’s gas prices, who really wants to?

When I ask my boys what they want to do lately, playing in the backyard is usually the answer I get, which is fine with me. We get on our bathing suits, turn on the hose, and play fun games such as water limbo using the powerful stream of the water (works best with a sprayer attachment). I even found some leftover balloons the other day that I had from the kid’s birthday party last year and filled them up with water. We each had to catch the balloon and whoever dropped it first, got a nice, wet surprise. I have to tell you I felt like a kid again running around outside, and I think I almost had as much fun as my boys, if not more. If you don’t have a backyard, don’t fret. There are plenty of cool indoor activities that are sure to please. How about creating a cooking class with your kids? We recently picked our favorite fruits and pureed them in the blender to make home-made ice popsicles. They were refreshing and all natural, which means the kids could have as many as they want. What a great way to get in your child’s daily fruit requirement! I found that watermelon and cantaloupe work really well. The other day we made blueberry muffins, which were a huge hit. My oldest who is 4, cracked the eggs, and my 2 year old helped mix and pour the batter. The house smelled amazing and it was a fun bonding activity.

I have found that a stimulated child, both mentally and physically, is a happier child who behaves better, sleeps better and eats better, creating a happier and better mommy! It doesn’t cost much to have fun with your kids and with a little creativity, they will have a blast, and so will you.

Do you have a great summer activity you want to share with Mommy Masters? Leave your comment here or head to www.facebook.com/mommymasters to tell us your fun summer plans.

Check out Mommy Masters on Scary Mommy

2011-05-31T13:21:00.001-04:00

http://www.scarymommy.com/single-married-mother/