Mommy Matters

Sabbatical

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Wed, 02 May 2012 07:14:00 +0000

Dear Readers,

I am in the Maldives Islands. It was a sudden and unexpected trip, but a sabbatical was needed and my sweet Road Warrior Husband arranged it for me.

I will be back in the United States to finish my 10 Day Series next week. I apologize for the delay but I promise it will be worth the wait.

If you haven't already done so, please consider subscribing so you don't have to worry about missing any updates to this blog.

And yes, those are Black Tipped Reef Sharks you see off the beach, by my room. More on that later.

An Organized Laundry Room

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:40:00 +0000

In some households the laundry room is mom's personal office. In other households its the pit of depression. Hopefully these ideas will inspire you to create a room that is both functional and enjoyable for you.

Remember, inspiration is just a launching point. The goal is not to recreate the rooms pictured below, but to find elements that appeal to you and incorporate the ideas you like best using your own space and resources.

working laundry rooms aren't the prettiest but we're keeping it real!

This first laundry room is all about form & function. When your room is not large enough for a traditional center island you may want to consider a peninsula island---one that comes off the wall. The washer and dryers are installed on the other side of the peninsula allowing for a high countertop to be placed above for folding. Hint: If you budget or room constraints coupled with large amounts of laundry to do consider getting 1 washer and 2 dryers to make laundry day go a little faster. The built-in baskets allow for easy sorting and the storage cabinets to the left can house cleaning supplies, toilet paper and other household essentials. When designing your laundry room don't forget about your hand washables, ironing board and drying racks. This laundry room can hold it all!

The Laundry/Craft room is a somewhat new and popular idea for those who have a little extra space but need to get more out of it. Since this laundry room is larger it houses two stackable washer/dryers but also utilizes the peninsula island concept. The island is counter height and acts as a craft table with the cabinets to the left housing craft supplies and gift wrap supplies. You can place your gift wrap in the drawers for easy access. A small tv mounted on the wall makes the time spent doing laundry go faster.

Here are other examples of creative dual purpose laundry rooms.

By creating a dual purpose room you take advantage of every inch of space in your home, plus you have the added benefit of doing something happy, fun, or at least distracting while you are getting your laundry done. I know of many moms who scrapbook while they do their laundry in the evening. I like using my laundry room as a gift wrap center as well. If you like the idea of a dual purpose laundry room, you won't want to miss HGTV's laundry room/personal office.

For those who like no fuss consider placing a stackable washer/dryer in your closet! Though I couldn't find a photo of one online, this is another popular idea and it will sure cut down on hauling the laundry to and from the laundry room!

Another creative dual purpose space to place laundry rooms is in a closet in the kitchen. You can use your kitchen counter tops for folding laundry if need be after the counters are cleaned and the dishes are put away. This is great if you are short on space but have a kitchen island!

Original Source

What does your ideal laundry room look like?

The 10 Days Series is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects. Visit us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. And of course, click the image below to visit all the 10 Days posts from these homeschool moms of the iHomeschool Network.

You'll be blessed with tips on how to handle bad days, cultivating curiosity, teaching with Legos, and much much more!

Mobile Organizing Systems for Moms on the move

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 03:59:00 +0000

Today's Modern Mom is on the move. When she's not driving carpool or chauffeuring her brood around town to various extra curricular activities, she is running errands. This is why the BEST organizing system for a modern mom is a mobile one.

What are the options?

For moms on the move there are two options: DIGITAL and PAPER.

While there are pros and cons to both systems it really comes down to personal preference and commitment. Whichever option you choose, you should commit to trying it for at least 90 days before deciding if it works for you or not.

Digital Options

Here are some of my favorite Apps for keeping your to do/Project lists:

Reminders
With Reminders you can create and organize lists by deadline, priority or custom made project lists. It's a very simple and easy to use built-in app which also works with icloud, ical, Outlook, and Siri.

Do it Tomorrow
Allows you to keep ONE running list. Anything you don't get to rolls over to tomorrow. Probably not the best app for a procrastinator, or maybe it is?

Things
Things offers a few more bells and whistles than the apps listed above, but is still simple to use. Things allows you to sort your lists by: Today, Next, Scheduled, Someday, and Projects. There is also an inbox where you can collect and store those "to do's" that you aren't yet sure where you want to put them. Things also keeps a logbook of when you complete tasks, which can come in handy. If you cannot remember where you put something there is also a search function.

Homeroutine
Homeroutine takes the typical to do list and combines it with your household routines (which we will cover later in the series). Although the app is incredibly customizable the core principal is that you create Morning, Afternoon, Evening, Weekly, and Monthly tasks. There is also a tab for "To Do" (divided by Today, this week and later) where you can keep your to do lists right alongside your routine lists (those things you do every day). The app then allows you to check off your items as you go. Each day, week or month it "refreshes" the regularly scheduled tasks you have. If you love the Fly Lady cleaning schedule that is already preloaded on the app (you can alter as you wish). With registration you will also receive FREE sync and online editing option. The app can also be password protected if you wish.

Classic Paper Option:
A pocket sized (or slightly larger) 3-ring tabbed binder is my favorite paper option because it can easily fit in a purse or tote bag.

I suggest creating tabs for:

Calls
Keep a running list of everyone you need to call (with their number) and why. When you find yourself sitting around you can flip to your call page and knock out the calls.

Errands
Keep a running list of errands. You'll save time and gas money if you run all your errands at once. I write the name of the place (Costco, for example) with a running list of what I need to buy there. Then when I'm out and about and find myself near a store I need to visit, I have my list already with me.

To Do
Running list of all your to do items

Projects
Separate out long term projects and create individual action items to help accomplish the goal.

Which format to use?

If you've had problems with organization in the past I would suggest that you pick ONE format and give it a try for 90 days. Yes, 90 days. It takes 21 to form a habit but 90 days to give a system a fair try.

If you are generally known as an organized individual who is looking for ways to improve or switch to the digital format then I would say you could probably handle keeping your lists in 2 formats without problem. You may even find that you keep certain lists in one format and others in another. That's fine too.

Remember, you want a system that WORKS for you and is EASY to use.

Now, get to work creating those lists!

You'll be blessed with tips on how to handle bad days, cultivating curiosity, teaching with Legos, and much much more!

7 Organizing truths you should know before beginning a home organization project

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 21:27:00 +0000

7 Organizing Truths you should know (and face) before beginning a home organization project:

If your circumstances change your organizational systems need to either change or adapt. Unfortunately, using old systems in new situations is rarely effective. As your life changes you have to be willing to adapt your systems or create new ones.

Organization is a skill, not a talent. Skills can be learned (and taught to your children). So stop making excuses for yourself, your spouse or your children!

Being organized is not the same as being neat. It's possible to be neat but disorganized. A desk with piles of paper that is organized in a working system may not appear as neat (or attractive) as a completely clear desk (with everything shoved in the drawers) but it can be more organized. Organized isn't always pretty and pretty isn't always organized. Remember: A place for everything and everything in it's KNOWN place!

It's not that you have too little space, but that you have too much stuff for your space. No one likes to hear that (especially if you've recently downsized) but it's true and the faster you accept this, the faster you'll get control of the stuff in your house and stop having it control you. If you need any more motivation to start decluttering take a look at the time it takes you to maintain, manage, move, reorganize and clean your stuff. Feeling like you don't have enough time? Get rid of some stuff and see how much more time and space you find.

Simple Systems Simply work---so keep it simple. Complicated systems may look fancy or seem well thought out, but they're also time consuming and unless you live by yourself, chances are you'll have a hard time getting the rest of your family (or your spouse) to follow it. Keep it simple if you want to keep it going.

Every oganizational system needs a maintenance plan. Schedule time to maintain (or tweak) your system and you'll avoid having to redo the whole project later. A filing system can lose its effectiveness if you never purge it of outdated material. Your perfect laundry room will stop being effective if you don't keep it regularly stocked and maintained. If your system is hard to maintain it's a sign that it either isn't simple enough or isn't the right system for you.

Organizing systems are not one size fits all. What works for your neighbor may not work for you. By the same token, the way you organize one child may not be the best system for another. Effective organizing systems reflect the primary user(s) and the way they think. If you want others to help you in the home you have to make sure you create systems that work for them too.

Ready to begin? Join me again tomorrow as we continue my series on 10 days of Home Organization

The 10 Days Series is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects. Visit us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. And of course, click the image below to visit all the 10 Days posts from these homeschool moms of the iHomeschool Network.

You'll be blessed with tips on how to handle bad days, cultivating curiosity, teaching with Legos, and much much more!

2 Common reasons why homemakers struggle with home organization

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:29:00 +0000

This post is part of my 10 Days to Home Organization Series

Organization always came naturally to me. In fact, I'm embarrassed to admit that I'd have so much free time on my hands that I'd actually reorganize already organized spaces of my home!

Then, I had twins.

And a third child.

I began homeschooling.

We moved states and sold our vacation home.

We had a forth child and built a home.

We adopted our fifth child and promptly had to relocate temporarily for 6 months!

What happened to my organizational skills?

There are 2 common reasons homemakers struggle with home organization:

Inability to change or adapt

Our lives and circumstances change, sometimes faster than we'd like. Some change is good, such as a new addition to the family; How can a little person take up so much time---and space? Other times, the change can be unexpected and stressful, such as a sudden move. Yet we continue on with 'business as usual', even though nothing in our life resembles the 'usual'. This can be especially shocking to those of us who always considered ourselves organized. What happened to us? Have we lost our organizing mojo?

Failure to implement or create systems when needed

Another reason for disorganization is simply that we fail to implement or create systems when needed. Life moves fast. Our schedules are full so we either convince ourselves that we don't have time to "get organized" or we procrastinate while promising ourselves (and our family members) that we'll get to that later. Yet, later never seems to arrive and things keep getting worse.

Another potential cause is denial. We are simply in denial that there is a problem. We want to convince ourselves that whatever has changed in our life is only temporary so we don't want to invest time, effort or money in creating a system for it. Doing so would make us face a sometimes harsh reality or situation that we are not ready to face.

Whether you've suddenly found yourself in a state of disorganization or if you've never been particularly organized it is possible to conquer home organization and create a functional home for you and your family.

Join me tomorrow as I continue the series with 7 Organizing Truths you should know (and face) before beginning a home organization project.

The 10 Days Series is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects. Visit us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. And of course, click the image below to visit all the 10 Days posts from these homeschool moms of the iHomeschool Network.

You'll be blessed with tips on how to handle bad days, cultivating curiosity, teaching with Legos, and much much more!

10 days of Home Organization: An introduction

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 09:31:00 +0000

Over the next 10 days (excluding weekends) I will join 28 bloggers from the iHomeschool Network in a 10 Day Series which will cover 29 topics and almost 300 posts!

Join me April 16-20 and April 23-27 for my series on Home Organization. Whether you are organizationally challenged, temporarily stumped or just looking for ways to simplify ( yet improve) your home organizing systems, this series is for you!

10 Days of Home Organization will cover these topics:

* Organizing Truths you must face before beginning any organizing project

* Taming the Toys: Home organizational tips for kids' toys

* Household Organization Systems: There is a method to the madness!

* Mobile Organization: Organizing systems for Moms on the move

* Curating your closet: How to organize clothing in closets & drawers

* File those piles: How to create an easy file system that works & other home office organization tips for Mom

* Decluttering 101: 7 ways to declutter and get organized today!

* Garage Organization: How to maximize your space and still have room for your car!

* Laundry Room Organizing ideas: It isn't just for laundry any more

* Organizing with Kids and all their stuff

You'll be blessed with tips on how to handle bad days, cultivating curiosity, teaching with Legos, and much much more!

How to celebrate Absolutely Incredible Kid Day

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:45:00 +0000

Tomorrow, March 15, 2012, is officially designated as Absolutely Incredible Kid Day.

You've probably never heard of it. Yet before you dismiss it as another one of those made up days, let me tell you about it.

Camp Fire USA, one of the nation's oldest youth development organization, sponsors this letter writing campaign to encourage adults to write a letter to any child in their life to let them know how much they mean to them.

To participate just download the FREE Official Stationery (if you wish) and start writing letters to the special kids in your life and let them know how special they are.

In a world full of text messaging, Facebook status updates and twitter a traditional letter still makes a powerful impact----especially when it is filled with words of affirmation.

Who will you send letters to?

Blissdom at Home: Watch Conference Sessions from Blissdom at home!

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 20:27:00 +0000

Great news for bloggers who weren't able to attend Blissdom 2012 - you can now watch all the sessions from home by subscribing to Blissdom at Home. As an attendee of Blissdom 2012 I know there were sessions that I would like to hear again and a few that I wished I could have attended! Blissdom at Home gives me an opportunity to do both---and you too!
When you subscribe to Blissdom at Home you will get unlimited access to all of the sessions (watch as many times as you want) until the next Blissdom (2013).

For more information, click on the Affiliate Link above. You won't be charged any extra for using my affiliate link, but you will help me start saving for next year's Blissdom Conference.

Need a little more encouragement, or not quite sure what Blissdom is? Watch this opening video:

BlissDom '12 - Opening Video from Blissful Media Group on Vimeo.

Hope to see you next year!

National Tooth Fairy Day and the cost of baby teeth

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 18:51:00 +0000

February 28th is recognized as National Tooth Fairy Day in the United States. In the US, and many countries across the world, the Tooth Fairy makes nightly visits to children who have lost their baby teeth leaving behind a trail of money, sweets and sometimes a bit of fairy dust, under their pillow.

However, with each generation it seems the Tooth Fairy's tradition has become more elaborate and expensive. Teeth that once were just tucked under a child's pillow at night are now left in special Tooth Fairy pillows like these on Etsy.

What is the origin of the Tooth Fairy?

Throughout history people of all origins have shared traditions, stories and legends about the loss of baby teeth.

The Vikings believed that children's teeth ( strung onto necklaces or incorporated into jewelry) had magical powers that helped them be successful in battle.

In Early Europe it was tradition to bury a child's baby tooth. This was meant to prevent witches or evil spirits from using the teeth for voodoo or to cast spells. After a child's 6th tooth fell out it was customary in Northern Europe to give money. This was referred to as a "tooth fee" and is recorded in writings as early as the Eddas.

What is the going rate for a baby tooth?

Generally the amount left tucked under a pillow is determined by several factors including: country, economic status, and peer pressure. A 2011 study found that American children receive $2.60 per tooth on average. Yet many families in my area leave $5-10 per tooth!

These families are particularly shocked to know that we have never celebrated the Tooth Fairy in our home. I'm not sure why. I certainly don't have anything against it.

In thinking about it for this post I believe it's because my children are so excited just to lose a tooth, that there hasn't been a need for us to offer an outside reward. For them, losing a tooth means they are growing up, and so far that is exciting enough.

How do you celebrate lost baby teeth in your home? How much does the Tooth Fairy pay your children for their baby teeth?

Dr. Seuss Birthday Celebration Kick Off on March 2nd

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:10:00 +0000

Dr. Seuss is a family favorite in our household. Who hasn't fallen in love with a Dr. Seuss book or character?

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday, on March 2nd, several bloggers will share fun learning activities based upon favorite Dr. Seuss Books.

Please help spread the word by tweeting a link to this post and come back on March 2nd to join in on the fun!

Beechcon 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 02:50:00 +0000

Beechcon stands for: Blogging to encourage and equip Christian homeschoolers. The idea was conceived 3 years ago by Maggie Hogan (Bright Ideas Press) and Jenn (Daze of Adventure).

A select group of women (how on earth did I get included?) were invited to come and experience an idea and help determine if it was something that could become a conference in 2013.

I’m told the names were prayerfully considered. I believe it to be true for two reasons. First, how else would I have been invited if not for God intervening on my behalf?

The second reason is that the entire weekend was filled with God moments…and laughter…and chocolate...and exposed souls, joined hearts…and tons and tons of sharing. Real life sharing of marketing, SEO and business tactics.

Imagine your best friend taking you under her wing and telling you all her secrets. Yeah, it was like that. For real.

For me it was an opportunity to finally meet those I only knew online: Jimmie, Jolanthe, and Maggie.

Then, I had an opportunity to meet those that I should have known all along on line…and one that I cannot wait to get online (she is a new writer transitioning to starting a blog).

Stay tuned for more information about Beechcon and how you can make sure you don’t miss your opportunity to experience it. Because it’s not about forming cliques. It is about coming together.

For more on Beechcon and the personal experiences of the other attendees please visit:

Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling

Find Beech on Facebook or subscribe to the Beech newsletter.

Blissdom & New Mommy Matters Blog Survey

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:54:00 +0000

Dear Readers,

I am on my way to Blissdom in Nashville and I cannot wait to get there and connect with other attendees as community leader, see friends, make new friends and learn more about what it takes to build my craft and knowledge as a writer/blogger.

While I'm gone you can follow along for updates about my Blissdom experience on Twitter and Tumblr.

If you are attending Blissdom please give me a shout out on Twitter as I'd love to connect with you.

In the meantime, I would appreciate it so much if you would take the Mommy Matters Blog Reader Survey.

I have decided to make a few changes to my blogs this year and your input would help me greatly.

Straw Trainer Cup for Toddlers

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:22:00 +0000

Did you know that Playtex has come out with The First Lil' Gripper Straw Trainer Cup to help babies/toddlers transition from bottles to cups? Baby Sister likes it because she feels like a big girl. Her brothers and sisters like it because she doesn't try to steal their drinks and straws anymore!

What I like:

It's BPA Free & Phthalate-free

Flexible soft straw doesn't hurt sensitive gums

Daddy proof easy lid attachment (you know what I'm saying)

Slider to cover the straw and stop the cup from leaking all over your diaper bag

Squeezable cup to help get the liquid started in the straw

Available in 7 oz and 9 oz cup size

Dishwasher safe

What I'm trying to get over:

Cleaning the straw...I wish they sold a replacement pack of straws.

Also available at:

Babies R' Us, Target, Kroger and Walmart

Disclaimer:

A complimentary cup was sent for review. As always, my opinions, and those of my 18 month old are our own. I do not post reviews for products I either don't like or don't believe are of value or interest to my fellow moms. We're all in this together, right?

Bad Kitty by Nick Bruel

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:22:00 +0000

I've recently started to embrace sharing audio books with my children. Although I will always be a fan of reading aloud to children (especially when they can read on their own), sometimes Moms need a break and that is when a good audio book can make a huge difference. Audio books have come in handy for me when I'm cooking dinner or when I need a night off from reading 5 different bedtime stories to my children.

The latest edition to our library is Bad Kitty, by Nick Bruel, and read by Vanessa Williams.

In addition to an entertaining story, what makes a picture book, is of course, the illustrations...and what makes an audio picture book special is a fantastically entertaining reading with appropriate sound effects. Bad Kitty has all of the above!

The book takes the child through the alphabet and back----four times! However this book is not your typical "alphabet" book. My girls learned about new vegetables and added quite a few words to their vocabulary thanks to a "variety of vultures" , "an assortment of anchovies", and a "tormented little mouse".

Disclaimer:

A complimentary review copy of Bad Kitty was provided by the Publisher. As always, all opinions are my own.

Beauty Boot Camp Party

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:15:00 +0000

This year I turned 40, and as much as I thought I'd embrace it, own, and party like a 21 year old. The truth of the matter is, I never was much of a partier (even when I was 21). So, I started freaking out. Then Big Daddy casually mentioned that maybe I'd want to have a couple girl friends meet me at a spa for my 40th birthday...and the next thing you knew I had a full blown Beauty Boot Camp going on and I threw it together in about 8 days.

Yep, I've still got it in my old age.

The day started off with trainers doing a CrossFit Style boot camp in my driveway.

This was followed by a mile and a half run to the club house. Some of us may or may not have quit "running" after a block and a half.

Ahem.

Upon arrival at the club house guests were met with a tray of water that said "Don't Quit, rehydrate" I made the little hang tags myself.

Then, Suzanne Bowen from Barre Amped in Nashville (I know, right?!) took us through the paces for a little over an hour in the most amazing Barre class.

I am just loving me some Suzanne Bowen and I'm thinking if I lived in Nashville, or if she moved to Florida, I could be looking REALLY good...or I may not be able to move from the muscle soreness.

with Suzanne Bowen

After that it was to the showers where I had these little bags in the locker room for each of the girls. Inside was a Beauty Bootcamp t-shirt and some Thai Fisherman pants that were hilarious to demonstrate how to put on.

We were all then shuttled back to my house where Nobu Miami was all set up preparing my special birthday lunch. If I win the lottery I'm having them cook at my house every Saturday, I'm just saying.

If you didn't already know, Nobu is my MOST FAVORITE RESTAURANT on the planet! The food was as delicious as it was gorgeous! No sushi restaurant compares in my opinion.

After lunch each guest was then given their own "itinerary" card which had their schedule for the rest of the day.

There was:

A Valentino Trunk Show

A Raw Food Cooking Class

Scalp Massages

Thai Stretching Massages

Hot Stone massages

Manicures & Pedicures

Blowouts

and a Beauty Bar where guests could mix their own facial masks, scrubs or bath soaks.

Beauty Bar

It was truly one of the most amazing days of my life. I will cherish the memory of it forever and I remain forever grateful for my lovely friends who committed to spending an entire day (seriously, it was 9am-7PM) with me for my birthday.

Valentino Trunk Show in my dining room!

So what if none of us could walk for the next 3 days? We had a great time...and hey, the texts I received over the next few days are memories too.

Sorry I didn't answer when you called. I couldn't lift my arm to get the phone.

How are you feeling this morning? If it's true that it's worse after 24 hours then I'm going to need to be sedated tomorrow.

Know anyone with a wheel chair I can borrow? Ouch!

After the pain wore off everyone admitted they had a great time and would do it all over again. Thankfully, you only turn 40 once in your lifetime.

Finding my voice

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:00:00 +0000

I know it's in there. Somewhere between the serious Don't-make-me-have-to-tell-you-again Mom voice and the soft little girl voice that still makes callers inquire, "is your mom or dad home?" when I answer the phone.

I'm of course talking about my true voice. The one that is left when all pretense and past hurts is stripped away. The one I tucked away for safe keeping when I grew up in a house that was not safe. Where I learned that your true self is best kept from everyone, including yourself. Because it's ugly. Just like you.

Shhhh, don't tell

That no one would believe that a girl who grew up to model would ever believe she was ugly is just as astonishing to me as to others. But hey, if they're willing to pay me I'll play along.

Maybe someone will love me then?

The girl in the Lands' End catalog, Claire's Jewelry Boutique and issue of Woman's Day magazine wasn't me.   Not really. It was the pretend me. The girl I longed to be in my head but knew I wasn't in my heart. The girl who could only emerge after an hour and a half of hair and make-up.

Then she was pretty.
Then she was valued.
At least for the moment.

Modeling was the best way to pretend to be someone else. Dressed by a wardrobe stylist. Perfect lighting. Excellent photography. Flawless hair and make-up.

It takes a lot to hide who you really are. A costume put on to be someone else. This girl was masterful at learning to be what others wanted her to be. It is the only way to survive.

Shhhh, don't tell.

Afterwards it seemed she could forget or at least pretend it didn't matter that she was really none of things people thought.

She wasn't confident or beautiful.
Her life wasn't perfect.
She wasn't Daddy's little girl or her Mother's pride and joy.

She was broken.
She was damaged goods.

Shhhh, don't tell

But what if finding my voice means finding the courage to tell? What will my voice sound like then?

I'm going to Blissdom'12 as a Community Leader

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 19:45:00 +0000

I am so excited to announce that I will be attending my 2nd Blissdom Conference as a Community Leader!
If you are registered, please let me know via Twitter.

If you haven't yet registered, it's not too late. But you need to HURRY before they sell out...and they always do.

We've been run over by our adoption (the post I didn't post then)

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 18:00:00 +0000

Disclaimer:

Do not worry about our family. We have our daughter.

This post was what I wrote when we were in the middle of potentially losing her.

I wanted to share it because I think there are nuggets that might be helpful to others...

October 2010

I want to write passionately about adoption, particularly about our personal adoption journey. However, at the moment, I'd have to first scrape myself up off the highway because I feel as if I've gotten run over by a Mack truck.

The system is broken. Adoption is like the wild, wild west. The professionals you pay dearly for ---well, I don't want to talk about them right now. Suffice it say that its a crap shoot. There are terrific private adoption attorneys---and not so great ones. Great adoption agencies....and questionable ones. Add to the mix that your friend may have used an adoption professional and had a great experience, while your personal experience is nothing short of a nightmare.

Here is the (somewhat) quick and dirty. We may lose our daughter. We've been denied (in my personal opinion) humane treatment and our situation has dragged on needlessly and cruelly for weeks and weeks. Now, we are in a situation that we have to beg for our daughter, or at least the child they told us was our daughter. Maybe. They'll try to arrange that meeting. Unlike the one they had specifically set up yesterday, but then arrived 3 1/2 hours late to.

Is the Birth Father considering signing adoption papers---even after you failed to serve him in the first place? Lets just show up 3 1/2 hours late!

I.Kid.You.Not

Is the adoptive family barely functioning at the thought of losing their child? Well they will just have to sit and wait another 2 weeks for a meeting that will be blown off for another placement--- at the last minute. Hey, they've already paid and there's another placement fee check on the line!

How will they find this out? By text message. No need for a phone call. We are busy and important adoption professionals. Take what we're offering. We are in control. Don't you know that we can make it so your book never even gets shown?

Do I sound angry? I must be coming out of the other side of grief. Perhaps that is a good sign? Well, if I didn't have to pull myself together to beg for my child that is. Although why bother to pull yourself together when you really don't even know WHEN or IF this meeting where you will be placed in the position of begging for your child will even occur?

Forget all the things you've carefully considered about your adoption plan. When you are holding the child you believed was yours in your arms, what lines will you cross then?

I never wanted to become one of those adoptive parents. The ones the birth mothers talk about on their blogs. The ones that lie. Make promises they never intend to keep. Our promises to our daughter's birth mother were (and are) sacred. Etched in my heart. Made carefully.

But what will I say now? Can I look a birth father in the eye and say, "I'm sorry. That is not something we are prepared to do as a family. You can just have her back." Or will I convince myself that whatever type of adoption he thinks he wants right now I will commit to for 18 years?

Of course all of this is hypothetical. I don't know what he wants.

Do I believe our daughter's birth father had a right to meet us? YES. I believe birth parents have a right to choose the adoptive families they are relinquishing their parental rights to. However, I think that should have happened well before she was placed with us and we were told we were her parents. Well before our children met their new baby sister.

Well before I held her in my arms and knew I would die for this child.

Now, instead of meeting a birth father about a child we may potentially adopt, we are meeting with a birth father about the daughter we stand to lose. Those who oppose adoption may say that is what we deserve.

Does what I think matter?

All through our adoption process it was important to me that we didn't leave a train wreck behind us in the wake of our blessing. But never did I consider that the train wreck left behind would be my family.

I want so very much to praise Him in the midst of the unknown. I want to. I just don't know if I can.

**********************************************************************************

As many of you know, this story did indeed have a happy ending, but it almost didn't. It is so important to educate yourself on adoption law when you begin this process and make sure that whomever you are using for your adoption is disclosing EVERYTHING. We blindly trusted and learned some valuable lessons after the fact.

Just joining in? You can catch up from the beginning, here:

Waiting

God's Perfect Timing

Placed into my arms

when children contemplate adoption

The real reason, revealed (my first post about standing to lose our daughter)

Meeting my daughter's birth father

The visit

Everything to me

I worry about overthinking adoption

Gotcha Day---Baby Sister's adoption is finalized!

Gotcha Day one year later

Adoption is complicated: part II

Life Lessons & Surprises in our adoption journey

I'm no longer drinking the adoption Kool-Aid

What I've learned about adoption

Taking on Las Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:00:00 +0000

Our family recently went on a trip to Las Vegas because Big Daddy had a company meeting there and was giving his traditional keynote address.

It wasn't the first time the children and I went along with him to a meeting, but it was the first the time they sat in the banquet room to hear their father's speech.

Afterwards they went onstage to check it all out.

And let's just say they were pretty comfortable with this whole getting on stage gig. Can you tell which one is going to be the future CEO?

National Adoption Month

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:00:00 +0000

Did you know November is National Adoption Month? If you didn't, consider yourself now informed and please help spread the word!

In honor of National Adoption Month I'm going to link up posts about our adoption in one place, as well as a few other resources and favorites. I hope they serve as encouragement to those of you contemplating adoption or beginning your journey.

Our Adoption Journey

Waiting

God's Perfect Timing

Placed into my arms

The visit

Meeting My Daughter's Birth Father

Gotcha Day

Life Lessons & Surprises in adoption

Other great stories regarding adoption...

Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel

A wonderful sermon that details WHY we are called to adopt and WHY God blesses adoption by explaining the biblical foundation of adoption. The EIGHT similarities between Christian adoption and our adoption by God into His family.

He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:4-6)

We're getting a puppy!

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 05:04:00 +0000

We had always promised the children that when Cutie Pie was older we would get them a puppy...but then we adopted Baby Sister and truthfully she was better than a puppy, don't you think?

But like all siblings the novelty began to wear off, she started taking their toys and acting like a baby sister; and they were back to wanting a puppy!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but you get the picture. It was time to add a puppy to our petting zoo.

After much thought we kept coming back to an Australian Labradoodle, and Big Daddy would like for you to know that by "We" I mean the kids and me. He doesn't think anything with a doodle name is manly enough. Even if a Labradoodle was the best family dog I could come up with for our family.

After finding a breeder we liked and reserving our puppy it was time to sit back and wait for the infamous email. I cannot tell you how exciting it was to get the email alerting us that our puppy was born. Since then we've had the pleasure of receiving weekly photos from the breeder and we are scheduled to pick up our puppy in 2-weeks.

Yippee! Are you excited for me?

I must confess that it has been at least ten years since I have housebroken a dog or had a puppy so I've been busy giving myself a refresher course by: hiring a trainer and reading books on raising a good puppy.

Understandably some people (Big Daddy) would say that getting a puppy within months of moving back into the house you just finished repairing/building isn't the smartest idea...but I wouldn't be me if I didn't load up my plate!

How could I say no to this cute face?

"BUNKER"

Gotcha Day: One year later

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:34:00 +0000

Today is the one year anniversary of the day we adopted our youngest daughter, affectionately known on this blog as: Baby Sister. In adoption circles this day is often called Placement Day or Gotcha Day. It is just one of a series of adoption milestones one goes through on their adoption journey.

When I began our adoption journey I couldn't imagine such a day. Then I looked forward to it. Now, I have mixed emotions. You see, I think I'd rather celebrate my daughter's birth than the day she joined our family. It is not that her adoption wasn't a very special day for our family. Of course it was. She was then and continues to be a blessing to our family. However, I don't believe her adoption should define who she is or whom she will become. It is not something that continues to happen to her, but rather something that happened to her once. She was born another woman's daughter and then, through her adoption, received another family. When that happened she BECAME our child, forever. She isn't up for renewal. She doesn't have to do anything to maintain her position, or importance in our family. She just is, our daughter.

In the story of her life, I don't imagine that her adoption, something she had no control over, something that (in comparison to her overall life) was but a moment in time----should weigh in as the most important thing about her. It shouldn't define her. Character, integrity, faith, sense of family/community, education and purpose should be what defines her. It should be what defines all of us.

So while Baby Sister won't have cake, ice cream and presents to celebrate this day (as I know some families do) the day will not go by unnoticed by me. Instead I will chose to think about her birth parents on this day. To think about what they sacrificed by placing her for adoption. I will pray that they find their way around and through the grief and loss they undoubtedly feel...and I will quietly thank them in my heart for choosing us to raise her.

Because I cannot imagine a day of my life without her in it. And because of them, I don't have to.

Living Room: My House Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:05:00 +0000

This is our new living room. Since this picture was taken I've rearranged the items on the bookshelf but I think this gives you a pretty good idea of the room. It is so relaxing and no doubt is one of my favorite rooms in the house.

The inspiration for the ceiling was the fabric on the ottoman.

The bookcases are all built-in and distressed and painted to old antique.

I'm no longer drinking the Adoption Kool-Aid

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 03:40:00 +0000

Recently we had another visit with our daughter's birth mother. As I mentioned before, she is pregnant again. Less than a year after placing our daughter for adoption. She told me she didn't want to get pregnant again but that her very young boyfriend WANTED a baby and so he decided to try to get her pregnant...and lets just say she didn't exactly stop him or prevent the pregnancy.

If I thought the last visit (her first after placement) was tough it was really just a warm up for this one. It was traumatic, to say the least.

In her mind the purpose of the visit was NOT to gain validation of her choice and to see that our daughter was adjusted, bonded, healthy and happy. That is just the propaganda spewed by many adoption professionals to the adoptive families. The reality of her visit request was that she worried that our daughter would forget her.

The visit showed her that our daughter forgot her.

She was apparently told by her social worker that the baby would always know her smell and recognize her. Um, that didn't happen.

Our daughter was placed at 12 weeks. She is now a 14 month old child who is enjoying her ability to walk. She didn't want to be held, especially by someone other than her Mom and Dad. She was more curious about the room and looking out the window then interacting with someone new.

Truth be told, she is a Daddy's girl and prefers him over me any day.

I of course had expressed my concerns in advance to the social worker who blew them off and stated that our daughter's birth mother was "well aware that the baby would not go to her" but would be more comfortable with her parents. Then she gave me the song and dance about just wanting to get validation of their choice. I don't know where they get that this validates their choice. The desire to visit the child comes from the GRIEF rebirthed after seeing her pictures and then the FEAR she will not remember her or love her in the future.

Many tears were shed. It broke my heart.

I tried to explain to her that our daughter would know about her because of the fact that we aren't keeping her adoption a secret. That she will grow up knowing she is adopted, and that it's not a big deal to be adopted. We will share with her information from and about her birth mother (if she ever gets around to writing that letter and making that scrapbook) and birth father as is age appropriate. At a certain point in time she will be given everything I am collecting and saving for her and of course she will be free to seek out her birth parents if she wishes... with nothing but support from her family.

Everything our daughter has, opportunity she will be given, education she will receive, the family she has, and the lifestyle she lives will all be a product of the decision her birth mother made.

But make no mistake, I am no longer drinking the Adoption Agency's cool-aid.

In our situation I can clearly see that the visits are not about closure. The pictures and letters don't validate the choice (for some birth mothers) but instead reopen the wound and start the cycle of grief and loss all over again.

I will never be convinced that these birth mothers are offered sufficient counseling services. I don't think that individual situations and personalities are taken into consideration. Everything is cookie cutter. Feeling sad? All you need is some pictures. Regretting your decision? Why don't we schedule a visit and then you'll feel better.

But what I learned is that the opposite is true. Our daughter's birth mother admitted that the pictures hurt her...they made her want our daughter back. She admitted that she didn't particularly feel good after visiting with her but that her FEAR that she would forget her made her want to schedule a visit.

Again, this wasn't about closure or about healing. It was about prolonging the grief. About ripping off the scabs and reopening the wound.

This isn't healthy. For either of us.

to be continued...

Strawberry roll cake

noreply@blogger.com (Karin Katherine) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 02:49:00 +0000

This is my favorite summer dessert. For the Fourth of July I also mix in blueberries and it's always a hit. I recommend making 2. One never seems to go far enough. Don't say I didn't warn you.

3/4 c. sugar
3/4 c. plain flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 pt. strawberries
1/2 c. sugar

Powdered Sugar

Cool Whip (2 tubs)

Sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.

Separate eggs.

Add egg yolks, milk, and vanilla to dry mixture.

Beat egg whites until fluffy. Fold into cake batter.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour batter into greased and floured 11x13 shallow baking pan.

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

Slice Strawberries and set aside

Place powdered sugar on top of a clean kitchen cloth.

Turn cake over ontop of cloth and dust with additional powdered sugar.

Roll towel and allow to cool.

Carefully unroll cake

Spread strawberries and Cool Whip ontop of cake and carefully roll it back up.

Dust with Powdered sugar as needed.

Refrigerate, covered, until ready to serve.