Mommy Needs

Seriously

2013-08-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

I know I sound like a broken record, but balancing work & family is proving to be quite upsetting. How do you choose between a fulfilling career and being home with your children? If I had the choice, I would want to stay with my kids. I desperately want to be the Mom who's always there, dropping off & picking up, going to activities and helping out with the classroom.

But we need the money, so I can't be that Mom.

I rely heavily on my parents to do the picking up, and the errands, and the after school activities. And I am sad that we can't afford for me to be that person. If I did stay home, we wouldn't have the money to do after school activities or save for family vacations. Or have our car.

And then I think about things like retirement, and saving for the future. I used to have a "career" where I worked for a large company with fabulous benefits & a matching 401K program. I had a good salary, got to travel for work, and genuinely enjoyed my job. Due to a site closure, I got laid off when I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. Which I was fine with at the time, because Joe was making a very good income in the mortgage industry, so I figured it would be a good transition to stay home with my 1st born and be a SAHM.

Then the mortgage & housing industry collapsed and we were part of a growing number of families struggling to find work and maintain a solid income. We had a savings ... a good savings, so that is what truly saved us for a few years during that time. I took on a part time job working a few evenings a week and that helped out, too.

Then Lillian was born and I stayed home again while she was a baby, not going back to part time employment until she was 15 months old. And since then it's been a constant struggle between working too much and not being available to my family, or not working enough and going "backwards" financially by borrowing from savings.

After all of this I am constantly questioning my role within my family. I want to contribute financially, but I want to be the Mom who's there for her children. And I realize that working outside of the home teaches my children the importance of a good work ethic and earning money to provide for our family. But am I missing out on their childhood ... are they missing out on me?

How do you make it work?

Balancing Act

2013-04-03T10:28:00.002-07:00

I've been trying to find a happy medium between working and being with my kids. Struggling to make ends meet on just 1 income isn't something our family can afford right now, so I've been working part time for the past few years to fill in the gaps.

I'm at a point where I strongly dislike my current job and am starting to contemplate what's most important right now. Obviously family is #1 on that list, but I also need to balance my own personal happiness while making sure we can provide for our family.

Choosing to work outside of the home VS needing to work outside of the home. Right now I need to and I don't want to take on a job where I'm miserable. Because it's not worth it.

Trying to find balance when I feel most unbalanced right now.

Paleo - Day One

2013-03-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I started eating the Paleo way. Mostly I'm just eliminating processed carbs, grains & dairy (except for eggs). So far it's been a good transition. Here's what my day looked like yesterday:

Breakfast:

2 scrambled eggs
black coffee with honey

Lunch:

1/2 steak
salad (kale, chard, romaine, spinach) with olive oil & seasoning & avocado - I was out of balsamic vinegar which I didn't realize until after I had made the salad.
1 apple with sunflower seed butter
pumpkin seeds

Snack:

almonds & pumpkin seeds

Dinner:

1 apple with sunflower seed butter

I worked last night from 4pm - 9pm so I didn't get home from work until 9:20. By then I knew I wasn't going to make an official dinner, and I actually wasn't all that hungry either so that's why I opted for the apple & sunbutter. I do also realize that I need to incorporate more vegetables ... I'm working on it.

I'm pretty excited about this way of eating because I don't have to measure food or count calories. I just eliminate the processed carbs & grains & dairy and continue to eat lean meats & fish. I haven't felt deprived and hungry like I felt before when I was on a traditional diet.

Although you're not supposed to weigh yourself daily, based on my morning weight yesterday & my morning weight today, I've lost 2.5 pounds. But being female with shifting water weight I know that the scale fluctuates a lot during the day so I'm not overly convinced it was due to one day of eliminating processed foods. Who knows.

And while I might not follow the Paleo diet 100%, I do feel better about eliminating the processed sugars & carbs & grains.

Chocolate Wine

2013-02-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

What a winning combination.

Back in Action

2013-02-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

I just noticed my last post was over 1 year ago. Occasionally I've thought about blogging, I just haven't made time for it.

But recently, I was reminded that I should focus more on writing because (some) people seem to enjoy reading what I write. So, there you go ... I'm going to try to keep up with this.

Needless to say a lot has happened in the year that I haven't blogged. Here's a quick synopsis:
1. We moved to a bigger house (finally!)
2. I switched jobs, still part time but now with a schedule that is more compatible with being home with my kids.
3. Brandt started kindergarten!
4. Lillian turned 3 and had a painting party at our new house.
5. We went to Disneyland
6. I spent my first night away from my kids. Ever. That's a momentous milestone for sure. Sad & pathetic, but momentous none the less.

I will make a conscious effort to keep up. And if people enjoy reading, thank you. I do appreciate that :)

Monday

2012-01-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

Monday is my new favorite day of the week. Both Brandt and Lillian go to school on Mondays so I get almost 4 whole hours to myself. By. My. Self.

Alone.

Last week I used that time to clean out their rooms and donate some toys & items that had definitely seen better days. I also tried to remove clutter from the rest of the house and tidy it up a bit. Although you'd never know since the "clean" lasts until 5 minutes after the kids get home.

We are most likely putting our house (back) on the market to try to once & for all to sell it. This time it will be a short sale, though. We've mostly given in to this idea and are ready to move on. The house is too small and too expensive for our needs. We're not as upside down as a lot of people but it's still enough to get the heck out. All the stress and worry and frustration and fear ... I'm ready to let go of it.

Moving forward. Starting fresh.

"Don't Carpe Diem"

2012-01-22T14:28:00.001-07:00

One of the best parenting commentaries I've read in a very long time:

Don't Carpe Diem

Occupational Hazzard

2012-01-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

You know what's fun about working at a financial institution? Not this:

Armed Robber hits Tucson Federal Credit Union

Midtown has been robbed twice within the last 3 weeks. Luckily I work at the East branch, but it's still very scary to think about this happening at all while I'm at work.

Just Between Friends

2012-01-21T20:44:00.001-07:00

Just Between Friends is a great event where you can consign your outgrown baby items and earn some sweet cash twice a year. Tucson just had their sale this week and I got rid of a bunch of outgrown kid clothes and a few toys & random household items. It is a bit time consuming to prepare your items for the sale, but JBF provides an online inventory & tagging software that makes the process go quickly once you get the hang of it. Our house is small, so I will take any opportunity to purge unneccessary stuff. Especially after Christmas throws up inside my living room.

If you have JBF events in your area, I encourage you to check them out. It's fun ... and $ rewarding $

Swagger Wagon

2011-12-27T08:06:00.001-07:00

We finally got a new car and I couldn't be happier. A black Chrysler Town & Country that we purchased through our brother-in-law, who is a General Manager at Jim Click Chrysler Jeep. I was surprised (and excited) to discover that the "base" models come standard with a build in DVD player, so we are SET for road trips. I do realize that a minivan is on the opposite spectrum from what I used to drive: a red Mustang convertible. But I'm happy to have "evolved" to a Minivan Mom.

Train Station

2011-12-22T21:08:00.003-07:00

We had our pictures taken professionally this year. And by professionally, I mean an actual photographer not by someone who works part time at Picture People. They turned out great, as you can see from my previous post about our Christmas card. Here are a few more pictures.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

I got my Christmas cards through cardstore this year and I think they turned out great. They are a little pricey so it pays to wait for their coupon codes of 60-70% off. And they always have free shipping.

Revolving Door

2011-09-29T20:59:00.002-07:00

I think my Walgreen's pharmacy has a revolving door because I have been gotten antibiotics 3 times in 2 weeks. Brandt started with strep throat, so round one of amoxicillin. Within a day he was better: running around, playing, acting completely fine. 12 days later the fever was back, along with the same symptoms he had before. Back to the doctor we went, this time picking up stronger antibiotics from Walgreens. All was fine and happy in our world until Wednesday night when Lillian started a fever. One call to the pediatrician and we were back at Walgreens for more amoxicillin ... this time for her.

Sick kids are no fun.

But, we are trying to prevent this from happening as frequently in the future. Brandt is scheduled to have his tonsils and adenoids out in a few weeks. He had been snoring a lot, and tended to breathe through his mouth quite a bit, so the Ear/Nose/Throat (ENT) doctor recommended the surgery. We were skeptical at first, since it's surgery and Brandt hadn't had strep throat or any tonsillitis (at that point, anyway) so the more we thought about it, the more we leaned toward canceling the surgery.

Then strep throat attacked our household and Brandt had such a bad case that he needed the stronger antibiotics just 12 days after he was diagnosed the first time. So surgery it is! And we're hoping it helps not only with his throat and snoring, but also with his eating habits. If his tonsils are that big maybe once they are gone he'll be able to eat more food because of less obstruction in his throat.

Fingers crossed our kids get well and STAY well ... because WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Quiet Golf

2011-09-25T21:10:00.001-07:00

In Brandt's mind there are two versions of golf: mini golf and "quiet" golf. Mini golf gets expensive if we were to go every time he asks, so we took the kids to the putting green at a local golf course. Brandt is getting better, but this was Lillian's first time so most of my time was spent chasing her around making sure she didn't fall into the sand trap.

Freebies

2011-09-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

I have several codes for free 8x8 books on Shutterfly, so I made one:

Click here to view this photo book larger

Monkey Business

2011-09-22T08:50:00.001-07:00

Lillian is 23 months old. All of a sudden (Monday-ish) she started climbing out of her crib in the middle of the night. I decided to convert her crib to the toddler bed so she wouldn't fall as far when she climbed out. Last night was the first night of "freedom" from her crib. It didn't go well.

I was up every 1-1.5 hours with her. I couldn't figure out if she discovered the freedom and wanted to roam, or if she just kept falling out of the little opening near the guard rail on her bed. Or both. I am exhausted. Joe is exhausted. Lillian is a royal cranky-pants today because she's exhausted. The crib-to-bed conversion didn't go well.

She also started climbing up the play kitchen in her room and standing on it. I swear this kid climbs more than B ever did at this age.

Our New Addition

2011-06-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

She's 10 weeks old and enjoys purring. Boston seems to be enjoying her company and has been playing quite a bit with her. Brandt LOVES her, but he's still a little too enthusiastic around her so she gets freaked out. Still nameless.

Shopping

2011-06-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

I got some great deals at Gymboree.com - I used my 20% off coupon, went through Ebates, and also earned $25 in Gymbucks to use later.

4 shirts & 2 pairs of shorts for Brandt:

6 shirts, 2 pairs of shorts & 1 pair of leggings for Lillian:

All for a grand total of $69, including the $5 shipping. And I earned $25 in Gymbucks to use in July. I love when I get fabulous deals.

Happy Spring!

2011-04-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's a Bird ... It's a Plane ...

2011-03-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

I spent Sunday morning with two good friends of mine. We got together for breakfast to celebrate my birthday ... we have a birthday breakfast tradition. Cindy made wonderful french toast and served fruit, coffee & mimosas. Very enjoyable birthday festivities, and I was so glad to spend time with Cindy & Gina. Cindy works full time, and since I've started working part time, we hardly ever see each other.

Cindy has a 4 year old daughter and was so kind to give me two bags full of 2T & 3T clothes to take home. I sorted through everything and was excited to find adorable clothes & 2 pairs of cowboy boots (I love boots!). But I also found this in the bag:

She loves it.

Thirty One

2011-03-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

I turned 31 on the 19th and had a really good birthday weekend. Joe and Brandt made this wonderfully pink cake for me. When I asked B if Lily helped make the cake he said, "No, she doesn't know how to make cake." Good point.

I also treated myself to a *new* bedroom with new bedding and wall accessories. I got the bedding & wall art at Kohl's at an amazing price. Somehow the three wall pieces were on a special markdown, because after the discounts and my 30% off coupon, they were $8.50 each. Crazy deal and I'm thrilled with the results.

The decorative vase on the nightstand was another super deal I found at Ross. It had been marked down several times and when I looked at the final price sticker I knew I had to take it home with me. You can't beat 99 cents.

I've been working at Tucson Federal Credit Union and I absolutely love my job. I will be working more the next few days because one of my coworkers will be out last minute due to a family emergency, so I will be almost full time this week. That will be hard to balance home & work, but I will appreciate the extra money and I know it won't be permanent.

Joe and I are also considering getting a new car, probably some sort of minivan. We're debating between the Chrylser products (either the Town & Country or the Grand Caravan) or a Kia Sedona. Ideally, we'd love a Honda Odyssey or Toyota Sienna, but they are probably out of our price range. I'm hoping we make a purchase soon ... It will be nice to have the extra space & storage in a vehicle.

So far 2011 has been immensely better than 2010, so I'm hoping for continued health, happieness, and security. Our family is in a good place right now and it feels perfect.

Knowing When to Say When

2011-01-31T08:21:00.000-07:00

I still breastfeed my 15 month old baby, partly because she is comforted by it and partly because I know she is my last baby and I'm holding onto her baby-hood as long as possible. She doesn't drink much cow's milk, maybe an ounce a day, so I know that she needs the breast milk to compensate.

But I'm also still getting up with her at least once, usually twice, each night. And it's not like she's a new baby that needs to eat every few hours. It's just her comfort, and a way for me to get her back to sleep within 10 minutes so I can go back to sleep.

At her 15 month check up she weighed 22lbs 8oz, which is 50th percentile for weight, so I know she's getting the nutrition and fat that she needs to grow. But I also worry that she doesn't eat a lot of solid foods because she prefers to nurse. Both of my kids don't eat a lot (or sleep well, for that matter) and I'm getting quite frustrated. I want them to eat 3 meals & 2 snacks a day, but instead their eating patterns are scattered and they rarely eat at the table for more than 3 minutes. I've gotten into the bad habit of letting them eat on the couch, or letting them carry their snacks around the house.

And B doesn't eat well at all. His food intake consists of a predictable rotation of chicken nuggets, pasta, carrots & ranch, lettuce & ranch, apples, pears, bananas ... sometimes green beans (with ketchup). I don't know if I need to enforce a "tough love" approach and just start making 1 meal for all of us to eat and then letting him go hungry if he chooses to not eat it. Then maybe he will eventually give in and eat something new?

I have a lot of challenges right now with my children, mostly food & sleeping issues that I need to remedy. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate the advice!

T-Ball

2011-01-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

Brandt started playing t-ball in January and it is the cutest thing ever. He is supposed to be on a team with 3,4 & 5 year-olds but they didn't have enough players so they combined his group with a few older kids. Now he's the youngest kid on the team, with everyone else being 5 or 6 ... some close to 7. But no matter, he's having a great time.

On Preparing for Parenthood

2011-01-17T15:36:00.000-07:00

These 11 lesson for parenthood preparation have been floating around the internet and I have no idea who first wrote it, but I wanted to share.

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner.)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM, make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive).
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine-month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking, What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four-second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
--
I find Lesson 3, Lesson 4, Lesson 6 and Lesson 7 particularly relate-able. Pass this on to any parent (or soon-to-be-parent you know.)

New

2011-01-15T20:28:00.002-07:00

New Year.

New Job.

New Body.

New POST! Freaking finally, right?

Happy New Year! The first few weeks of 2011 have flown by - we've all been super busy.

I got a new job that started January 3rd. I am a part time teller at a local credit union and I am so happy with this job. I think I said it best in my Facebook status: LOVING my new employer! It's definitely hard to be away from my kids, but it's also oddly rejuvenating to be working in a professional environment again. It's only been 2 days but I already feel happier as a person and happier as a mother. I'm also thrilled to finally be contributing financially to our household. And my kids are in great hands with my parents - so far it's a win/win situation :) Happy 2011!!

As for the new body, I'm planning to renew my gym membership now that we have more income (thanks to my new job). I really need to work on improving my fitness level, for both my physical & mental health. I haven't been this out of shape in a very long time - it's frustrating & disappointing.

I'm also trying to get more organized. I've found a few sites that are really helpful so I thought I'd share with you as well:

http://www.simplemom.net/
http://organizing.yourway.net/
http://www.mint.com/

Have a great 3-day weekend!