Mommy on the Spot

What Do You Think Thursday with Skinny Scoop: Do You Think All-Day Kindergarten Should Be Mandatory?

2012-01-26T17:39:00.000-05:00

Big new hit my local community: All-Day Kindergarten will be . . .

Mandatory.

As of now, it’s pretty much up to the parents to decide if their child will attend all-day or half-day. Not all schools offer Full-Day Kindergarten, some only offer Half-Day, and some school have a K+ program that students can attend in addition to their half-day class (for a price). But as of next school year, it’s not a choice if you are planning on sending your child to public school.

This is huge decision, and many parents are not only super fired up about it, but they are also quite divided on the subject. I wrote a post for Macomb Patch that answers this question:

View this question on Skinnyscoop

Please leave a comment either here or at the MacombPatch. I would love to hear what you have to say about it. I would also be interested in hearing what Kindergarten is like in your community.

Have a great Thursday!

To: Peggy Orenstein – My Thoughts on Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

2012-01-25T10:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Peggy,

My name is Erin. For as long as I can remember, I have always loved reading. I love how books can transport me to different places and broaden my horizons. It’s pretty phenomenal how words on a page can be so powerful.

However, what I love even more is a book that makes me feel like I have found my long lost tribe; a tribe that shares the very thoughts that usually make me feel like a loner. After I read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I feel that this Midwesterner suburbanite may have found her unlikely match in a Berkley author.

The whole basis of the Girlie Girl Culture and how it enables girls to see beyond the social confines that emphasis looks over character resonated deeply with me. For a mother who lives in the Midwest and is trying to raise a girl that doesn’t look up to the new Miley Cyrus of the moment, I felt that it was refreshing to read someone else who shared these same ideas. Sometimes I look at the ridiculousness of skimpy Barbie clothes and the horrific metamorphosis of Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobby (my childhood favorites), and I think when the hell did this happen? (I couldn't find the post with these pictures, but here's the one with the Trolls). Doesn’t anyone else see this? Or am I taking crazy pills?

I also loved the history of the princess movement from medieval times with fairy tales to Shirley Temple during WWII to the Disney Princesses franchise. (As a child, I don’t remember all that glitz and glamor of The Princess Aisle. I suspected some sneaky marketing move, so thanks for clearing that up).

I want my daughter to be a strong, self-confident happy person *and* have friends all while maintaining strong boundaries within this crazy Girlie-Girl Culture. Herein lies the challenge because most Kindergarteners play princesses and Barbies. The shopping scene that you described with your daughter crying for a Barbie as you are crying because you don’t want to buy the Barbie while your husband is exasperated really hit home with me.

For Christmas, my daughter wanted nothing by Barbie and Monster High (*shakes head and looks off in the distance as I exhaled a “where did I go wrong look” sigh). The nice woman at Target asked if she could help me find something. “A Civil Rights Activist/Yoga Instructor Barbie with a slightly fuller figure, please,” I sarcastically replied. She nodded in agreement yet responded, “It’s just a toy. She’ll be watching you for cues on body image and messages about women.”

This is true, but still. . .

I ended up settling on Art Teacher Barbie. I cried a bit at the cash register, but when I saw how happy she was on Christmas morning, I felt all mixed up inside. To make matters worse, for her Martin Luther King, Jr. writing assignment that asked her to write her dream she wrote, “I wish Mom would like Barbie, My Little Pony, and Littlest Pet Shop.”

Seriously?

Heartbreaking.

The Girlie Girl Culture may have changed, but the need for a mother’s approval has not. So we had a talk today about how I am cool with Barbie as long as she realizes that although fashion and clothes are fun, it’s what on the inside that is most important.

I may have given into Barbies (mostly because I think it would have done more harm than good if I had not), so I have drawn other lines in the sand.

My daughter has been enrolled in swim and yoga instead of dance. I want her to focus on health and strength and meditation rather than performance and costumes.

We try to watch Chopped on Food Network because I love how they show women sparing with men about food. There are no mentions of looks, only skills. Another plus? The women judges are powerhouses in their industry, and they do not look like Barbies. (I think Alex Guarnaschelli is awesome. And although she's not on Chopped, I love Anne Burrell)! Win!

So although Marie is playing with Barbies, we are avoiding Barbie books like the plague. She may have fun creating stories for her dolls, but she is not going to be reading about dates and cute boys as a five year old.

To be honest, Peggy, I wish I didn’t’ have to try so hard. I wish you had a step-by-step action plan to raise a girl without all this media-driven pressure to be perfect. I wish there were more options, and I wish that not liking Barbies wasn’t such a line in the Kindergarten sandbox. I wish I could send her to dance without the fear of skimpy costumes and shaking her ass while wearing a tone of makeup.

So I try to stay strong on my decisions, keep the dialogue about what makes a good person open, and fill in the diversity and strong women role model blanks with reading and traveling.

Thanks for making me feel less alone in this struggle and inspiring me not give up fighting the good fight.

Sincerely Your Lost Tribe Member,

Erin Rawlings

________________________________________________________________________

So readers, what is your opinion about the Girlie Girl Culture? Do you think playing Barbies is harmless or detrimental?

What Do You Think Thursday with Skinny Scoop: ModCloth Edition

2012-01-19T16:38:00.000-05:00

This week has been crazy, CRAZY I tell you! It looks like the family is on the mend from the sickness that lasted the first two weeks of January, but now I am playing catch up with the house.

I did manage to post at Macomb Patch about my opinion on the importance of preschool. I would love for you to check it out and let me know what you think about preschool. I also talked about blogging at a social media class at a local college; how cool is that?! I felt totally under qualified since I think I am still a beginner, but I surprised myself with all that I knew. Yea!

I decided to have some fun and create a list of my favorite ModCloth dresses. I was littering my Facebook stream with a bunch of links to the ModCloth dresses that I covet, and Eden from Skinny Scoop suggested that I create a Skinny Scoop list – brilliant idea!

So per Eden’s suggestion, here is a list of the dresses I want most from ModCloth.

My Favorite ModCloth Dresses

Hope you enjoyed a bit of fancy this Thursday! What are your favorites?

The Blog Post That Has Yet To Be

2012-01-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

Remember when I wrote the blog post about my first 48 hoursof 2012?

I could rename it The First two weeks of 2012.

I wrote a bit about it here at the Macomb Patch.

To sum it up, Thomas seems to be OK for now with his antibiotics and The Pink Eye. Marie has to go back to the doctor because she ran out of antibiotics (or they didn’t give me enough), and she still can’t hear. As for me, my antibiotics finally kicked in for my ear infection so that’s good.

But I have to say, when Mommy goes down, the whole house goes down with me. It will take me about a week to uncover from all of this junk, let alone disinfect.

This is too bad because I had an awesome post ready to write about my thoughts on Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. My book club read her (per my suggestion and group vote), and it was an eye-opening look at the new girlie girl culture. Have you read it yet? What did you think? I will be posting my thoughts next week. (When I will have a break from running to the doctors’ offices and pharmacies).

So, I am sorry about this post. Please come back next week when I return to my regularly scheduled life (which included writing regular blog posts).

Oh, and one more thing – I have tried installing Disqus and Intense Debate. Neither one was installed successfully. I really want threaded comments so I can easily interact with each reader. I hear Blogger will be featuring threaded comments soon. Do I have any other options?

Have a great day!

What Do You Think Thursday With Skinny Scoop: Do You Have Post-Holiday Blues or Post-Holliday Relief?

2012-01-05T20:10:00.000-05:00

Challenging: That would be the word to describe my first week of 2012. And by challenging, I mean it may have been more fun getting a root canal and being forced to listen to Kenny G. music.

Without Novocain.

Here’s the low down on the first forty-eight hours. I must say that I am ever so grateful for penicillin. We had to make an unexpected trip to the doctor’s because Marie kept on hearing swishing in her ears, but that should clear up in a seven to ten days. Until then, we will be repeating ourselves at high decibels.

Then, today, after I thought I had been through enough in three days, Thomas defiantly declared that he would no longer be participating in nap time. I knew this day was coming, so I was all set and ready to sell him on Break Time: he spends time quietly playing in his room while I get some house and blog stuff done. I thought it sounded great.

He viewed it as solitary confinement with no hope of parole.

It was a mess.

So suffice to say, this year got off to a difficult start.

I was prepared to feel all bluesy with a touch of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) because historically I would experience Holiday Let Down: depression due to the end of the holiday season. I would feel depressed that the holiday is over (and back when I was teaching, I would have to go back to work). I would be disappointed because the holiday didn’t live up to my expectations. I would be emotionally drained from family drama.

This year, I feel oddly calm, maybe even looking forward to the dreaded Michigan months of January and February. I’m not sure why. Maybe I have healthier boundaries therefore better able to enjoy family events without being overwhelmed. Perhaps it’s because The Babes are older, and the packing logistics are as easy as throwing a few diapers and wipes in my purse. Maybe it’s because of my new outlook on life that I briefly touched on in my Review of 2011. It could also be that, thanks to The Babes, I have a deeper understanding of enjoying the moment.

Usually the weather plays a point in all of a bad mood. But this year, I am not going to get sucked into the bad weather talk. I live in Michigan. The weather is rarely ideal. This year, I bought a good hat and even snow pants. I am not going to get trapped inside.

Unless I want to be snowed in. In which I will bake. Too much baking and eating? Let’s play Wii.

Please don’t confuse this as everything is rosy and perfect. It’s not (just ask Thomas who had the bigger meltdown today during our attempted nap time). This new appreciation for the moment is a practiced frame of mind. Emphasis on “practice.”

My bottom line is I loved Christmas this year, and despite how the horrible start to 2012, I am looking forward to it. And in the great words of Dr. Suess, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

My question to you is

View this question on Skinnyscoop

My First 48 Hours of 2012

2012-01-03T20:03:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! In case you weren’t hovering over your computer on New Year’s Eve, I wrote a little review of 2011. To be fair (as in I did do something other than blogging), we did have friends over on the earlier side since we all have kids five and under. We thought it best to celebrate early to avoid ringing in the New Year with a meltdown. Objective successfully reached.

I thought that was a good sign that 2012 was off to a positive start.

I thought wrong.

Follow me through this loose time line:

12 a.m. – Holy $hit! I stayed up to watch the ball drop. I haven’t done that in at least six years! Thanks Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper for making it fun!

8:00 a.m. – Holy $hit! Everyone slept in! (This should have been the first clue that something was not right). Woke up and made chocolate chip pancakes. I also drank copious amounts of coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer.

9:00 a.m. – Find myself having to repeat everything I was saying to Marie.

9:05 a.m. – “Marie, could you please bring me your dish?”

“What?”

“Marie, could you please bring me your dish?”

“What?”

“Marie, could you please bring me your dish?”

“What?”

9:06 a.m. - “Marie, did you brush your teeth?”

“What?”

“Marie, did you brush your teeth?”

“What?”

“Marie, did you brush your teeth?

“What?”

9:07a.m. - “Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

“Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

“Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

9:09a.m. - “Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

“Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

“Marie, can you hear me?”

“What?”

10:30 a.m. – Suspect that Marie cannot hear because she has too much ear wax. Harrington gives her a bath and cleans her ears. The problem is not resolved. (See times 9:07 a.m. and 9:09 a.m.)

3:30 p.m. – We are just about to put our coats on to go to my parents’ house for dinner when I see some pus oozing from Marie’s eyes. I try to stay calm, but on the inside I. Am. Freaking. Out. I have always had an exaggerated fear of The Pink Eye (term coined by Marie). I am no doctor, but I do believe that if there is something that resembles drainage that would be normal dripping from your nose actually leaking from your eye, it is a safe bet it is The Pink Eye. I call the doctor. He confirms that she has The Pink Eye and prescribes her eye drops. On a related note, Marie also has a totally exaggerated fear of The Pink Eye, too, so she is hysterical. Thank goodness my parents are cool with us coming over because she needs a distraction.

4:00 p.m. – Pick up meds from pharmacist. He is either A) not happy to be there, B) nursing a hangover, or C) all of the above. The shades on the walk-up window are drawn, and I can see a venti-sized Starbucks cup behind the counter. The only word he utters to me is, “Yes,” when I ask him, after looking at the receipt, if he had charged my insurance. (A three milliliter bottle of medicine is approximately $20, however, it originally retailed for approximately $100).

5:30 p.m. – Marie keeps getting up from dinner to examine her Pink Eye. She says she is done eating so I could give her the medicine. I try my best to administer the drops without grimacing too much at the sight of the puss.

8:00 p.m. – Bed time.

3:30 a.m. – Marie wakes up in a panic and tries looking at her Pink Eye, which has spread to the next eye. Thankfully, her eyes are glued shut with goo so she cannot see what I am still trying to erase from my memory. I try to unglue her eyes with a warm washcloth and give her more drops.

3:42 a.m. – Marie has had a bad dream about The Pink Eye, comes racing into our room, and tries to get in bed with us. I end up yelling, “No” because she could not hear my loud whispers. I put her back to bed and started googling The Pink Eye.

4:00a.m. – I finally fall back asleep.

7:15 a.m. – Take a shower so I can be prepared to leave for the first appointment of the day.

8:10a.m. – Secure an early doctor appointment.

9:15 a.m. – Doctor confirms that Marie has a double ear infection with pink eye, which commonly occur with each other. Since I am in there, I ask if Thomas’s new rash could be related to this. He says that the rash sounds like strep and that I need to make an appointment. Gulp.

11:00 a.m. – Give Marie her amoxicillin.

12: 00 p.m. – Lunch.

1:00 – 2:30 p.m. While Thomas is napping, I disinfect Eve.Ry.Thing.

2:30 – 3:00 p.m. – Pray for the best.

3:30 p.m. – Take Thomas to his doctor appointment. Strep test: negative. Sensitive skin: positive. Phew.

5:00 p.m. – Costco chicken noodle soup to supplement the antibiotics.

6:15 p.m. – Start bed time routine early. Obviously.

7:30 p.m. – Curl up in the fetal position and am grateful for antibiotics. And that the day is over.

I am going with the belief that my year will only go up from here. Marie’s eyes are doing much better. We are still waiting for her hearing to return.

My digestion track was already sensitive with eating lots of salty, fatty food and no down time that facing my Pink Eye fear was just a bit too much for my stomach. Ick.

Hope your 2012 is off to a great start!

2011 in Review

2011-12-31T21:55:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year’s Ever! I found this at All and Sundry (which by the way, LOVE her blog!), and I decided to participate. It’s a bit different than the one I did last year, but I wanted to try it. So here are my answers.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

An hour and a half yoga class that raised money for a student who was battling cancer. It was incredibly moving experience.

Cooking chicken on the bone with the skin on.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Be the best mother I can be – I have made mistakes, but I try my best by being in the present and practicing kindness. And that best looks different every day.

More date nights with Harrington – Out of twelve months, I think we made about sixish. But we did make it to this restaurant that I’ve wanted to try forever. I know, I know; there is room for improvement.

Keep on writing and blogging – Check and check.

More yoga – Yes . . . until I had to take a break for physical therapy.

Focusing on the healthy relationships – Yes.

Find more like-minded people who share my values – Affirmative.

Since these all made me feel happy and balanced, I think I am going to stick with these. But I would like to add meditation, choosing a comment platform for this blog, paying off our debt, and getting ready to move to the list.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. . . but I did go to a funeral to support a family friend when she lost her daughter. She was devastated, and I was at a loss for words.

5. What countries did you visit?

I am going to modify the question to say "states". I travelled to California – twice! Once to Dana Point with Harrington’s work, and once for BlogHer! We also travelled together as a family (along with my parents) to DisneyWorld.

And I loved 90 percent of all of it!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Hmmm, that’s a good question. I’m not sure. More homemade Cassata cake and pierogies. Off the top of my head.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Marie’s 5^th birthday – where the hell did the past five years go?

Marie’s first day of Kindergarten – See above.

Thomas sleeps in his big boy bed – seriously?!

The Babes in. Total. Awe of seeing their favorite Disney characters in Disney World – magical.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

In addition to my continuing efforts to raise good and decent human beings without losing my mind, I feel that I have slowly changed my outlook on life. I feel more accepting and with all this accepting, I just feel happier. Not jump from the roof tops and super-smiley happy, more peaceful happy.

Also, I’m pretty proud of waking up at 5:15 a.m. to go workout with my friend three days a week. This, crazy enough, may be related to the whole peaceful, happy feeling.

Oh, and we can’t forget all the progress I made on my Raw Chicken Dare.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Anytime I lost my patience with The Babes.

Also, the “gentle” food cleanse that I attempted.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

To make a long story short, my four sessions of physical therapy turned into five months. I have some nerve damage that occurred during pregnancy and/or carrying my babies on my hips combined with a weak core/sitting incorrectly. This put stress on my lower back and caused a condition called piriformis syndrome. Which is just a fancy name for a pain in my ass.

Physical therapy was not fun and a huge inconvenience, but I absolutely loved my therapist. She is the best, and I miss her.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Park Hopper Passes to Disney World. Hands down, best purchase Of. The. Year.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Bills/mortgage, debt, medical expenses, and Disney World.

You can imagine which was the most fun and bought the most magical memories.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Disney World. (Geez, I am starting to sound like Marie. She will talk about Disney World to anyone who will listen. Or pretend to listen).

BlogHer 11 in San Diego.

My garden that my Dad helped me build.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

I Gotta Feeling by Black Eye Peas - it started off at that charity yoga session to lighten up the mood and raise our energy, and it just stuck. I have some great memories dancing with Marie to that song in our kitchen after dinner.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder? Definitely happier.

thinner or fatter? Surprisingly thinner, thanks to Zumba, yoga, and a good workout partner.

richer or poorer? Richer, but since we were poorer for a long time, we are soon going to break even.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Played more with Thomas.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Cleaning. I. Hate. Cleaning. Hate it!

18. How did you spend Christmas?

Making memories with The Babes. Seeing how excited Thomas was that Santa brought him train table will forever be etched into my heart.

I also spent it renewing relationships with familyand friends.

Warm fuzzy family memories *and* spending time with loved ones: that is the true meaning of Christmas to me.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Modern Family. Without a doubt.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

The Help.

Water for Elephants.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I can’t say it was my favorite by a long shot, but I did listen to a lot of Disney movie music. A. Lot.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Besides Cars 2? (One of the three movies that I saw in the theater this year? The other one being the new Winnie the Pooh movie)?

It would have to be The Help. And Bridesmaids.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

For my 34^th birthday, I ate my favorite pizza, my Mom’s homemade Cassata cake, and toasted with champagne with my family. Perfection.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Hmmm, that’s a tough one. Less drama, however, I would not have made such strides in keeping my distance if it wasn’t there, right?

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

I am emerging from my warm-ups uniform and experimenting with leggings and boots and jeans that fit! I feel that I am kind of rediscovering what looks good on me yet fits my lifestyle.

26. What kept you sane?

Blogging, yoga, early morning walks with my friend, and Zumba.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I learned the importance of listening to the physical cues my body gives me so I can take better care of myself, thanks to five months of physical therapy. Physical therapy also taught me that I sometimes need to tear it all down so it can be rebuild it correctly. “It” refers to my body, but I found it transcended to other areas of my life.

I learned that a regular schedule of physical exercise makes me less cranky and more positive.

I learned that when I follow my passion and am open to possibilities instead of forcing my preconceived notion of how things *should* be into existence, life can be full of amazing surprises.

Getting over a paralyzing fear can do incredible things for my self-esteem across the board.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year! Feel free to copy this down and link it up in the comments. I’d love to hear how your year went!

My Thoughts on Christmas Eve

2011-12-23T21:52:00.001-05:00

It’s Christmas Eve Eve. There are only few mere hours left until the pinnacle of Christmas holiday. I love how the traditions make me feel all cozy and warm and secure like cuddling up with my favorite blanket. I love how they connect me with my childhood. In a sea of change, I can count on baking cookies and listening to Johnny Mathis and watching It’s a Wonderful Life.

But then there are times when traditions highlight how different my life is now and how much I have changed from that little girl in her nightgown, afraid to get out of her bed just in case Santa was still unloading her presents.

Let me explain.

My Dad’s side of the family is 157% Polish. He is one out of six brothers and sisters, and Christmas is A. Big. Deal. The celebration is steeped in tradition. Preceding the feast of homemade golumpkie (gwumpkie), pierogi, and kapusta, there is a nativity reading in which people from each family participate (sometimes in costume). We sing Christmas songs until Santa arrives to give us presents (but not until after he gives us a rundown of our year to determine if we are on the good list). Mad chaos are the only words to describe not only the flurry of wrapping paper being thrown about, but the fury in which we open our presents.

It’s nuts.

And I loved it . . . until Marie came along.

The intoxicated Santa that was kind of funny before now was scary as he slurred to my baby. Eating dinner two hours late which had been annoying was now infuriating as poor Marie was forced to wait until her bedtime to eat dinner.

Other factors contributed to my bad taste of Christmas Eve. My older cousins all have older, teenaged kids and do their own thing. My Dad’s family is as thick as thieves and, even though I felt like I earned my way in by being a full-fledged adult with kids and a mortgage and a burning desire to participate in our family on a new level, I felt that they were not accepting any new members into the inner circle.

A lot of incidents occurred that made me feel awkward, but the time when we were over an hour late eating, and Thomas (not even one years old yet) was starving, I went downstairs to feed him.

Alone.

Yes, my Mom and Harrington came to check on me. And a few of my cousins’ kids were down there talking about things I wish they wouldn’t in front of Marie (who was three). But the majority of people were upstairs enjoying cocktail hour, as I tended to my motherly duties.

I felt like I didn’t belong.

I decided not to go to Christmas Eve last year and our plans with Harington’s family fell through. It felt weird not going to the big party, which was to be expected. But The Babes did not crash and burn on Christmas morning, which was very nice.

So I decided to push forward with this new tradition, even though it didn’t feel quite right.

Until Aunt Carol called.

She told me how fleeting this all is. One of the sisters had passed on and we need to stay together. She told me that Christmas is about kids, and my kids brought the magic to Christmas. She told me that I might be sad one day knowing that my kids would never know our Christmas Eve traditions.

I fought back my tears and said I was sad to not be going to Christmas Eve. I confessed to her how I feel left out because I have little ones. I told her that I wanted to be a part of this family, but I felt that I just didn’t belong anymore. (Not the tears were streaming down my face).

She said that I’m a part of this family. As crazy as it is and how out of control Christmas Eve becomes, it’s special. And it’s ours.

She told me to just think about it.

So I did.

And we’re going.

I’m excited to honor my traditions and share them with The Babes. (I also feel more confident in how to navigate around uncomfortable issues).

But I’m also very emotional. I feel emotional because Aunt Carol cared enough to kick my ass with a heart to heart. I feel emotional because it’s true; you never know how long you have with your loved ones, and this family gathering rich in tradition, is special. I mean, I don’t know a lot of families that still get the majority of three generations together under one roof with homemade Polish food.

I feel emotional because things have not been easy with this extended family: situations change and dynamics shift. Also, some of the cousins I grew up, moved away, and I don’t come to Christmas Eve that often. It all makes me sad. I haven’t felt a part of this group for a very long time. And I accepted my lot on the sidelines.

I feel emotional because I now understand how Christmas can be a time to come together with family; the ties and history and love can be stronger than differences.

Happy Holidays!

Nostrovia!

Thank You. Signed, The Management

2011-12-16T15:15:00.000-05:00

If I could use only one word to describe this week: Overwhelming.

Underappreciated is a super close second.

This was the week I had to get my stuff done because Marie will be home for almost all of next week. And we all know getting around town with one is much easier than two without even taking into account it’s Christmas time.

I will not get into specifics, but I was up until midnight for three nights in a row while still maintaining my early wakeup call of 5:50 a.m. I also had a nasty cold. Poor Harrington had a cold, too. . . that sent him to bed as early as 9:30 and waking up as late as 7:10.

You do the math.

So the inspiration for this post is from Twitter. Someone said that if you want to have your family to take notice of something you want them to do, you should write a note and sign it, “The Management.” For example, “Please be sure to remove shoes before stepping on the carpet. Signed, The Management.”

Pure genius, I tell you.

Here is a letter from The Management noting all my hard work this week that has gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Dear Erin,

I hope that you are enjoying the magic and beauty of the season. We sure have noticed all your hard work around here, and you are doing an amazing job. In addition to your daily duties that include but are not limited to laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, cleaning, packing lunches, hosting play dates (with a new friend . . . don’t think we didn’t notice the extra effort you put into cleaning the house before and after the play date), taking Thomas to school, picking up Marie from school and taking her to the dentist, you have been clocking some serious overtime to prepare for the holiday season.

You have gone to bed as late as midnight making gifts for special people so that you could have them shipped on time *and* take advantage of two major sales. You also have taken Thomas all over town getting everything from Christmas cards to Target for a two hour marathon session of Christmas shopping to the mall to make returns at Kohl’s since they sold you a “slightly” used griddle (and we know you need that griddle for Christmas morning chocolate chip pancakes).

You also went shopping for your special someone after Zumba which put you bed late for a third night in a row. No nursing that nasty cold of yours! You almost pushed yourself over the edge, so we applaud you for not working out the next morning. However, you are looking fantastic. We have noticed that you are looking trimmer than you have in a long time. Looks like running all over town with a toddler along with eating cereal and sandwiches for dinner is working out for you.

Speaking of eating cereal for dinner, that was one hell of a night. Both Plan A and Plan B dinners were derailed for that evening while your husband was enjoying cocktails and delicious fried food at a work party. But that didn’t stop you from pushing through and making good on your promise to take the kids on a ride in the heated car while they wore their jammies so you can look at all the Christmas lights. We don’t know about you, but our hearts totally melted when Thomas said how “bootiful” they lights were and how “they were everywhere!” By the way, the Christmas CD was a nice touch and helped reset the mood after the dinner disaster. But you didn’t stop at the Christmas lights. Oh, no. You even let them stay up and watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. You put that Christmas train right back on the rails!

We also think it was awesome how you picked up Marie from school after your late night and take The Babes to write letters to Santa and mail them at the mall. But again, in true form, you didn’t stop there. You made sure that they had the full experience by taking them to the food court to eat junk food and go on the merry-go-round. Yes, we know that Thomas had a meltdown when you wouldn’t let him go on any other rides, but you didn’t snap. You know why? Because you are amazing.

We know that next week is a busy week, too. You will be food shopping for the various dishes and meals you will be serving not only during the holidays, but for your everyday needs as well. You will be wrapping gifts, doing any last minute shopping, and cleaning the house for company. And let’s not forget doing all the laundry so everyone’s clothes are ready for show time.

We would have liked to have sent you on an all expense weekend trip to the spa, but unfortunately we can’t have you gone for that long of time. As you can see, your presence is greatly relied on around here. Not to mention, it is just not in our budget at this time. Please accept this ceramic travel coffee mug with a splash-free lid as a small token for our enormous gratitude for a job well done. Actually, better than well done. A fantastic job.

Keep up the great work. Without you, Christmas just would not happen with the sparkle, finesse, and magic you lovingly put into each detail.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you.

Signed,

The Management

What Do You Think Thursday: Christmas Song Edition

2011-12-15T21:10:00.001-05:00

This week has been crazy with Christmas. Let's just say this week has given me enough material to last a very long, long time.

And as much as I would love to relive every detail, there is still much to be done over here.

In the mean time, enjoy my Skinny Scoop list.

Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs

Christmas Traditions: Making It Our Own

2011-12-13T15:18:00.000-05:00

Before I get started on today’s post, I would like to thank everyone who came out to the Children’s Hospital of Michigan Foundation Toy Drive sponsored by Detroit Mom Bloggers. It was great to see some familiar faces (Mom, Dad, Uncle Gary), and it was also fantastic to meet some new people (Scott and Lauren from MOBIBO).

Speaking of MOBIBO, be sure to click on the MOBIBO banner because for every downloaded app because they will donate .25 cents to the Children’s Hospital of Michigan Foundation. This app is so great because not only does it tell you of the great deals going on around you, it *pays* you when you click on the adds. (Think along the lines of a mobile billboard). Check it out! Thursday is the last day!

And now on with the show . . .

I love Christmas. I love all the traditions as a kid and now passing them on to The Babes. They like a lot of the traditions that I introduced to them: Christmas cookies, decorating the tree, singing Christmas songs, watching Christmas movies.

Some are fiercely rejected. And by some, I guess I mean just one: Santa. Thomas and Marie are totally and completely scared of Santa. A lot of parents use visiting Santa as leverage for good behavior. Not me. Why just the other day, I told Thomas that if he didn’t stop crying for candy (after the cookies I just gave him), maybe we should go visit Santa and talk about healthy choices. He eventually stopped because meeting Santa face to face was not worth the fight for candy.

And Thomas loves candy more than anything else in the whole entire world.

So instead of sitting on some strange and scary man’s lap, we write letters to Santa and put them in the big, red mailbox at Macy’s. Then we look at Santa and his display on the first floor safely from the second floor of the mall and *maybe* wave to him. If they are feeling especially brave, that is. We did this last year, and it worked out really well this year, too.

I am all for traditions, but I think it’s important to be flexible and respect Thomas’s and Marie’s fears. If forcing them to sit on Santa’s lap is going to be traumatizing, I rather skip it. There’s enough drama with the holidays without creating it, no?

What traditions do you modify in your holiday celebrations?

Children’s Hospital of Michigan Foundation SNOWPILE Toy Drive

2011-12-09T16:40:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone is having a great Friday! I would like to extend an invitation to join us for the Children’s Hospital of Michigan Foundation SNOWPILE Toy Drive hosted by Detroit Mom Bloggers. I have also been working with this foundation through MOBIBO, which is an incredible app that notifies you of deals going on in stores around you on your smart phone (kind of like a mobile billboard).

SNOWPILE is a program that gives presents to kids and teens who are hospitalized during the holidays.

Stop on in at Panera Bread in the Target plaza on the corner of Auburn and Rochester in Rochester Hills with a new, unwrapped toy. The address is 2921 Rochester Rd. It’s on Saturday, December 10th from 9-12, and I’ll be there from 10:30 – 11:45. Christina and Shannon of Glamorous Moms will be there, too!

Hope to see you there!

What Do You Think Thursdays with Skinny Scoop: The Pampered Chef Edition

2011-12-08T16:43:00.001-05:00

Before I get started with my exciting list today, I would like to extend an invitation to the Children’s Hospital of Michigan Foundation SNOWPILE Toy Drive hosted by Detroit Mom Bloggers. If you are in the area, I would love to see you! Please bring an unwrapped toy to the Panera in the Target plaza on the corner of Auburn and Rochester in Rochester Hills. It’s from 9-12, and I’ll be there from 10:30 – 11:45. Hope to see you there!
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Within the past few months, I have rediscovered my love for Pampered Chef products. I have used the stoneware in my Raw Chicken Dare. I am creating new holiday traditions with the pizza stone (more on this when it becomes closer to Christmas). I am perfecting my chocolate chip cookies with the small scoop. I love them!

I created a list for What Do You Think Thursdays with Skinny Scoop that includes all my favorite items. Check them out. Maybe some of them would make the perfect gift for your foodie! (And if you are looking for a Pampered Chef consultant, check out my friend Michelle’s website).

My Favorite Pampered Chef Products

What are your favorite Pampered Chef products?

*I was not compensated for this post at all. I bought each of these items and used them myself. I am just sharing my opinions of favorite products.

On Raising Boys

2011-12-07T18:52:00.001-05:00

Three years ago, I cried when I learned that I was pregnant with a boy.

Not tears of joy. Tears of fear. I was afraid that I would not know how to raise a boy. Afraid that Marie would never be close to her brother and would feel alienated as the only girl among her brother and all-boy cousins. Fear that our family would be divided as the boys went with the boys and the girls went with the girls.

In addition to all these fears swirling around my head, *everyone* was telling me just how challenging raising a boy would be. Family and friends would go on and on and on about how easy I had it with Marie and how hard it was going to be with a boy getting into everything.

After the initial shock, I analyzed each fear and found the root was within my own experiences. I have had a tumultuous relationship with my own brother, and I often felt left out because my boy cousin and brother were so close. In Harrington’s family’s, the boys went to hockey with the boys, and the girls stayed home.

After I wrapped my mind around these fears, I resolved that these experiences, though mine as I was growing up, are not my family’s destiny.

As soon as I laid eyes on my little boy, I fell in love. I felt all those magical, lovey feelings that everyone talks about, but I had never experienced (Marie’s birth was so traumatic). As my son’s personality emerged, I could see that he was both more assertive and more vocal than Marie.

Now at two and a half years of age, his tantrums are Off. The. Charts. My patience has reached its edge, as they say in yoga, and I understand how a parent can become unglued and yell at their toddler.

But I am trying to find the strength to shelve my first reactions so that I can teach him a more positive way to express his emotions. I want to nurture his fiercely independent spirit.

But this route of emotional literacy? Is far from being easy. And sometimes it can be a lonely path. Fortunately, I met The Mother Company this year at BlogHer. I did a review awhile back about their show, Ruby’s Studio, which helps parents teach emotional literacy. I was happy to find a partner in the philosophy of raising good people.

As I struggle to maintain my cool in these intense situations, I try to remember it’s all a series of moments.

Thomas’s last two-minute time out seemed like an eternity. He kept getting off his marker and yelling at me that I was a bad mommy for turning off the TV. There were a lot of moments in those two minutes.

I was angry and hurt. And it took work not to react.

After the time out, I explained it’s OK to be mad. I told him that he can say, “I feel frustrated.” I made sure to say that it’s not OK to say you hate mommy; we practice kindness.

Once we settled down for a story and cuddle time before a nap, I said, “It is hurtful when you say you hate your mommy. Can you tell me what it looks like to practice kindness?”

Thomas said in a serious voice, “I don’t like taking naps.”

I felt the clouds parted and heard a choir of angels burst into song! A year of my practicing kindness mantra may have finally clicked!

I replied that it must be frustrating to have to do something you don’t want to do, but taking naps is part of being healthy and strong. And he seemed OK with that.

I am hoping that he felt heard because it is my belief that teaching emotional literacy means practicing empathy. I believe that people, regardless of age, just want to be heard. I know that when I feel heard in a disagreement, I feel less defensive and more willing to be empathetic.

I am also not going to accept some antiquated standard that “boys will be boys,” implying bad behavior is accepted.

Boys have emotions, and emotional literacy is not gender specific. It is human specific.

It’s my job as his mother, a job both frustrating and infinitely rewarding, to raise this person, tantrums and all.

But after the glimmer of hope that shone through today, I feel that I can move forward with a bit more confidence.

So tell me; what are your thoughts on raising people?

On Reliving My First Christmas Shopping Trip with Two Under Three Years Of Age

2011-12-05T14:40:00.001-05:00

Today I am posting at Macomb Patch. I am reliving my very first Christmas shopping trip with both Babes.

Got any traumatic-turned-nostalgic holiday memories that you would like to share?

Happy Monday!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-12-01T16:03:00.001-05:00

Today is my Mom’s birthday, and what better way to celebrate her than by writing about her (and making her favorite cold sesame noodles for lunch). I wrote this for a contest on Glamorous Moms.

My Mom has given me the gift of unconditional love and that has provided me with a strong foundation to be a good mom to my kids. It sounds so simple when I write it, but it has been so powerful. She’s the person I can go to about anything at any time, and I know she’ll be there for me. Always. My Mom has also taught me about the importance of integrity and honesty, not only by words, but by actions. She is the kind of person who does the right thing even if it’s not easy. She has always put my needs and the needs of my brother ahead of her own. I realize the sacrifices she made as a mother more now than ever. She didn’t have a lot of help when we were growing up because my dad worked a lot of hours and often second shift. She did a lot on her own, and her spirit of independence is a huge inspiration to me. She is now retired and getting back in touch with herself. I wanted to do something special for her because she is an incredible person and has been so giving of herself. She has taught me what true, unconditional love is, and for that I am grateful. Our family might not be perfect, but I know that no matter what, I am loved. As I get older, I realize what a gift that is because not everyone has that foundation.

Yeah, she’s a pretty incredible lady. Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!

My Post at Whole Living

2011-11-30T15:51:00.001-05:00

Hi! Today I am posting at WholeLiving.com about my journey to yoga. Here's the link!
Have a great day!

Thanksgiving Weekend, For Real

2011-11-29T16:59:00.001-05:00

I would like to preface this post by saying I love Thanksgiving. What’s there not to love: food, a parade, baking, family togetherness, getting ready for Christmas.

So when I was feeling quite agitated after this holiday weekend, I have come to the conclusion that I like the *idea* of holidays. None of these things that I enjoy about the holiday ever turn out the way that I think they will. I am the Clark Griswold of our family. I wrote a bit about this on my Macomb Patch post, but as I was writing, there was so much more that came to mind after I clicked the publish button.

In less than twenty-four hours of our family togetherness, Thomas was having a meltdown because Marie was encroaching in on his time alone with me. As we debriefed from his timeout, Thomas growled through clenched, “Sissy needs to go to school.”

Wow. On the bright side, he is very clear in communicating his feelings, right?

So the most obvious fix to this situation was to do a group project in which they would have so much fun that they would totally forget that they were feeling crabby with each other. Baking cookies seemed like a good idea. Everything was going great until I put in the flour into the Kitchen Aid Mixer, and Thomas put the mixer on full force. A fine film of flour covered the floor, the counter, and a bit on the pumpkin pies that were cooling. Nice.

Thanksgiving was good, for the most part. I went to my parents’ house to help them with turkey while simultaneously working on The Raw Chicken Dare. However, I walked into a power struggle about how to cook a turkey between my Mom and Dad. (My Mom has thirty plus years of experience, and my Dad watched an Alton Brown show). The bird was still frozen and my Dad already had his hands in the turkey so he just took the icky parts out. And I didn’t fight him on it because I froze. I just couldn’t do it. But I am no quitter so I took that herbed butter and was elbow deep in raw turkey as I spread it between the skin and the meat. I promptly washed as I was scrubbing for surgery. There was something distinctly more disgusting about that twenty-five pound turkey than a little chicken.

Decorating for Christmas has always been a favorite activity of mine . . . until Thomas thought the ornaments were toys and would. Not. Stop. Touching. The. Tree. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown, especially when he moved a kitchen chair so he could reach the ornaments I hid out of his reach (but obviously not out of his eye sight).

This turn of events escalated the power struggle between Harrington and Thomas to new heights. (Imagine hearing, “Don’t! Touch!” followed by Thomas making intense eye contact with Harrington as he reached for another ornament). I thought that I was going to lose what little mind I had left.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the intense discussions I had with Harrington about our vision of external illumination. I want lots of love and sparkle, and his vision has less . . . um, sparkle. But I think we are coming together on this since he bought more lights to fill in the wacky shaped tree in our front yard.

We ended the weekend with dinner with my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and her family. It was a lot of fun watching The Babes play with their cousins. Since we were supposed to have a family photo taken, I worked really hard to make sure we all had nice, coordinating clothes cleaned and ironed. The picture never happened, but we all looked really cute, if I do say so myself.

So yes, I love the holidays. . . just like Clark Griswold.

Tell me all about your Thanksgiving.

Because I would like to know that I am not alone.

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Did you see the MOBIBO Download to Donate widget I have on my blog. If you are live in the Metro Detroit area, please check it out. For every download of the free app, MOBIBO will donate 25 cents to Turning Point, Macomb County’s Shelter for Abused Women and Children’s from now until November 30th. Besides helping a good cause, MOBIBO is an awesome app. As you drive around, it notifies you of deals going on in the stores around you. If you click on the ad, MOBIBO credits your account 25 cents which then will be transferred into your PayPal account. Seriously?! How cool is that. Now go check it out. This post will still be here waiting for you!

Top Five Reasons Why I am Happy With The Fact Today is Monday after Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Cyber Monday, everyone! Today I am posting over at Macomb Patch about my five top reasons why I am more than OK with today being a Monday after a holiday. Here's the link!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Eve at Whole Living

2011-11-23T15:23:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Today I posted over at Whole Living about joy and hope and personal boundaries. An unlikely combo, right? Here's the link to the post.

Also, if you are in the metro Detroit area, please check out the new MOBIBO Download to Donate widget I have on my blog. For every download of the free app, MOBIBO will donate 25 cents to Turning Point, Macomb County’s Shelter for Abused Women and Children’s from now until November 30th. Besides helping a good cause, MOBIBO is an awesome app. As you drive around, it notifies you of deals going on in the stores around you. If you click on the ad, MOBIBO credits your account 25 cents which then will be transferred into your PayPal account. Seriously?! How cool is that?!

Counting Your Blessings

2011-11-22T15:50:00.001-05:00

Before I get down to my Thanksgiving post, I want to explain the new MOBIBO Download to Donate widget I have on my blog. If you are live in the Metro Detroit area, please check it out. For every download of the free app, MOBIBO will donate 25 cents to Turning Point, Macomb County’s Shelter for Abused Women and Children’s from now until November 30th . Besides helping a good cause, MOBIBO is an awesome app. As you drive around, it notifies you of deals going on in the stores around you. If you click on the ad, MOBIBO credits your account 25 cents which then will be transferred into your PayPal account. Seriously?! How cool is that?! Now go check it out. This post will still be here waiting for you!

Also, if you missed it, here is this week’s post from the Macomb Patch.

Now on with the show!

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Thanksgiving is just days away. I consider it the official kickoff to The Holiday Season. I love The Holiday Season, but the politics of this wonderful time of the year Drive. Me. Insane. I feel worn down and overwhelmed and the next thing you know, I am crying because there is no more peppermint mocha creamer in the house.

The unofficial start of the season was kicked off with my Mom, Mother-In-Law, and Marie as we went to see the production of White Christmas (thanks, Dad, for the free tickets)! I left the show feeling two things:

1. I miss tap dancing. How I wish to put on a pair of those shoes and tap out the rhythm of the beat with delicate, tinkling taps!

2. The line from the song Count Your Blessings totally got me thinking:

If you're worried and you can’t sleep,
just count your blessings instead of sheep
and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

A free show with tap dancing *and* inspiration to focus on my blessings? It was much more than I bargained for.

So here is the list I will be thinking of instead of sheep. I feel grateful:

For the ones who inspire me to be best version of myself because I want to set a good example for The Babes.

For the ones have shown me that I do have more love and patience than I ever thought I did.

For the ones that have shown me that it is more important to practice that love and patience rather than crush a unique spirit.

For the ones that love me just the way I am and never try to change me.

For the ones that have taught me the pureness of unconditional love.

For the ones that have taught me that patience, time, and a good heart can overcome even the most misguided good intentions.

For the ones that have helped me rediscover myself as we connect over topics that usually make me feel alienated.

For the ones that have taught me about understanding and forgiveness.

For the ones that have made it a challenge to trust instincts and be true to myself.

For the ones that have shown me the beauty of a reciprocal friendship.

I am grateful for each of these blessings because I feel that theyhave made me a better person who in turn, is able to be better to those around me.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

What Do You Think Thursdays with The Skinny Scoop: The Tale of the Coconut Cream Pie and Thanksgiving

2011-11-17T21:28:00.001-05:00

I’ve been busy this week. Here’s my links to my Macomb Patch and Whole Living posts. Let me know what you think.

One week until Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. There is awesome food, yet without all the pressure of Christmas. Win!

To be truthful, I have never hosted Thanksgiving. I am seriously considering it since I have been working on my aversion to raw poultry. Even though I have yet to host Thanksgiving, I like to think that I pull my weight in the contributions that I make to the meal.

My specialty (by default) is desserts. I like to focus on the classics: I make an incredible pumpkin pie courtesy of the recipe found on the Libby pumpkin can, and I make the most luscious coconut cream pie you have ever tasted. (My secret is the Jell-O Cook N’ Serve pudding).

What? Coconut cream pie isn’t considered a Thanksgiving classic in your home? Seriously?

Well, it wasn’t until recently that I even liked pumpkin pie. And apple pie? I just don’t think I’ll ever like apple pie. The texture is just gross.

In the spirit of recognizing and accepting my individuality, my mom made me coconut cream pies for Thanksgiving. How awesome is that? I wasn’t to be left out of the festivities because I didn’t like The Official Desserts of Thanksgiving. I wasn’t criticized for not fitting into the apple pie box or pumpkin pie box.

Coconut cream pie symbolizes that I was heard.

And seriously? What is there not to like about coconut cream pie? Its sweetened coconut swirled together with creamy vanilla pudding is heavenly. The toasted coconut on top of a mound of whip cream is simply divine.

Except that Thomas and Marie don’t like it. I think it has something to do with the texture . . . which I totally understand because I repulsed by apple pie.

To continue the legacy of recognizing and accepting individuality, I am honoring Marie’s request to make chocolate chip cookies.

They may not seem like the obvious choice for Thanksgiving, but I’m sure that neither did coconut cream pie. But after thirty some years later, coconut cream pie is synonymous with Thanksgiving.

And now I’m sure that chocolate chip cookies will be, too.

So let me ask you this:

View this question on Skinnyscoop

Have a great weekend!

Raw Chicken Dare – In Photos

2011-11-15T15:10:00.001-05:00

It’s time for another installment of The Raw Chicken Dare inspired by Elizabeth at Flourish in Progress. Here's the back story. And here's where I left off.

I had planned on doing this post last week, but Marie was sick, and I couldn’t go to the store nor did I have the energy to focus on this project. (Believe me, I will be writing a post about this very soon).

I thought today’s update would best be communicated through pictures. I enlisted the help of Marie, and we had a little photo shoot while I prepared dinner. She’s a total natural, by the way.

So here’s how I store the chicken:

Layer 1: butcher paper

Layer 2: plastic bag

Layer 3: plastic shopping bag

Layer 4: glass baking dish

Doesn't everyone store it this way?

Then I pour olive oil and massage it in. That’s right, I show that bird a little love. Then I sprinkle it with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.

Look at me! I’m holding it so close to my face! I’m almost cured!!

Then I wash my hands with super-hot water and lots of soap.

I put it in the baking dish. Here’s the Before Picture.

I put it in the oven.

And then here’s the After Picture.

I would say that I am pretty close to cooking a whole chicken.

I did have a little snafu with this chicken. Some parts close the bone were a little *gulp* bloody. Not like the juices weren’t clear, because they were. So I’m not sure what that was all about. Any thoughts? There was also a ball of veins that grossed me out and made the chicken a little bloody. I think that my perseverance through this disgusting discovery is a highlight in how far I’ve come from precooked chicken strips, right?

I think if I am going to go this route again, especially on a week night, I would get the breasts separated because it took forever.

I am totally proud of myself!

What have you done that has made you proud? I’d love to hear you toot your own horn!

What Do You Think Thursday with Skinny Scoop: Switch Witch 2011

2011-11-10T14:34:00.001-05:00

Halloween? Not my favorite holiday. The only saving grace is candy. The sweet and salty perfection of a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup and the lusciousness of gooey coconut paired with the roasted almond covered in smooth milk chocolate of an Almond Joy *almost* makes up for all the other shortcomings of this holiday.

Seriously, I could eat those two candies for the rest of my life. They make my heart race. I feel all glow-y and happy inside. (Real Mommy Chronicles calls this chocolate wasted). If I could live on these two chocolate candies for the rest of my life, I would.

Because I can handle my chocolate.

But Thomas? He cannot handle his chocolate. He has a serious sweet tooth that I fear he will fight from now until eternity.

Here’s how a typical conversation begins:

Thomas: (in super cute, high pitched voice) I have one piece candy?

Me: No, not now. You can have some raisins.

Thomas: (again in super cute voice now accompanied with adorable hand gestures) Just little bit candy. Please?

Me: No, but you can have a banana.

Thomas: (in scary, roaring voice that sharply contrasts the sweet little voice he just used): NO BANA! CANDY! I WANT CANDY! GGGRRRRR!!!! (now he attempting to break through the childproofed cupboard to get his fix)

All of this before 8:30 a.m.

I decided it was time for the Switch Witch since we had so much success with it last year. The idea was introduced to me by my friend, Laura. You have your kids pick out a few pieces of their favorite candy, and leave the rest behind for the Switch Witch. When the kids are sleeping, the Switch Witch takes all the extra candy and switches it with a movie or a toy or a craft.

Brilliant!

This year the Switch Witch brought a set of tempera paint, foam turkey crafts, and glue sticks.

Thank goodness! We are trapped in the house because Marie is sick, and since I took away our pastime of eating candy and I cannot stand to watch My Little Ponies, we are doing crafts.

We had candy? What candy? This is sooo much better.

So here’s my Skinny Scoop survey of the week:

View this question on Skinnyscoop

Hope everyone is having a great week!

If you missed it, I have written some posts for The Macomb Patch and Whole Living. Check them out and let me know what you think!

Death by Fire or Water Thoughts of a Worried Mom in the New Children’s Wing of Beaumont Hospital

2011-11-08T14:35:00.000-05:00

Here are a few program notes before we begin:

Check out my new series at the Macomb Patch called Macomb Patch Mondays with Mommy on the Spot! I am really excited! Today I appeared in the daily newsletter under Local Voices. Yea!

Today is the last day to enter my Flirty Fashions giveaway. Please click on over if you haven’t entered yet!

Also, I had this totally awesome post set up in my Raw Chicken Dare. But then Marie got really sick, and we spent the day at the doctor’s office getting breathing treatments and chest x-rays. So needless to say, I didn’t get around to buying the chicken let alone cooking it. So I have recycled this post about dealing with sick kids. We didn’t have a trip to the emergency room, but I think that sinking feeling of having something not right with one of my babies still applies.

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Last Wednesday, I headed out to the new Emergency Room Children’s Wing of Beaumont Hospital. Right before “the incident” happened, I was just telling someone how well everything was going with Thomas. Then it was nap time, and he was a bit fussy, understandably. So I laid him in his crib because sometimes he just cries for five minutes and falls asleep. I was listening to the monitor, and all of a sudden I heard nothing. Then I heard thrashing and gasping. I ran in there and saw that he had vomit, not a little bit of spit up, but a whole tummy full of vomit all over. It was in his nose and mouth and he was pale as a ghost. Once he caught his breath, started to cry and then stopped crying, he was lifeless, despondent, and had a rattle in his chest. My doctor told me to go the ER since he may have aspirated on his vomit. I think my exact words after I hung up the phone were, “Holy fukc! I can’t believe it!” In my mind, I thought we had really turned a corner with the Dr. Brown’s bottles, the change back to Similac Early Advance Shield, and Mylocin gas drops. (And if any reps from these products would like to donate their products for free advertising, I would happily accept).

Thomas’s pulse oxygen levels were good, and he was eating fine. The doctor did not think he suffered a seizure (which freaked me out even more because that was not radar of things to worry about). As Harrington and I waited for his chest x-ray results, I cried. Not because I didn’t think Thomas wouldn’t be OK because my gut was saying he was going to be fine. But I cried because I felt sad that nothing about either one of my babe’s infancy has been easy. It has been death by water or fire.

Marie had been death by water. Because of her big head and low tone, we didn’t know if she was going to have cerebral palsy. We didn’t know if she would need leg braces and a walker. We didn’t know if she would need a shunt in her head for hydrocephaly. There were all these unknowns, and they weighed on me like someone had fit me for a pair of cement shoes and thrown me in a river. It was horrible and sickening and robbed me of almost any happiness that a baby brings. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think I did something to cause this and she was going to suffer for the rest of her life because of me. It was hard to push through and take care of her and her special needs. I literally felt like I was drowning.

When Thomas was born, I knew how important it is to live in the moment since I lost a lot of happy times with Marie worrying about her. When he was born, I was sooo in love with him the moment I saw him. When he nursed successfully right way, I thought we were out of the woods with any feeding issues. At six weeks, he had his first nursing strike. It was so scary because he would not stop screaming for over an hour and refused to eat. Every few weeks things, he would go on these nursing strikes. Then when he would eat, he would bob on and off. He wouldn’t get enough to eat or take in too much air, and then he would cry for 2 hour stints. This went on for all of July and most of August. So we tried a bunch of different things to see if they would work. Sometimes they did, and sometimes they didn’t. But the crying felt like I was dying by fire; this was an immediate problem that needed to be fixed NOW! Not a let’s-see-how-things-progress sort of manner, but a fix-this-now-DAMN IT! kind of manner. Not to mention Marie was starting to get really annoyed with all this crying and attention he was getting.

I cried because it’s not fair that I haven’t had an easy time. I know, I know; life is not fair. I was just hoping for a break. I think I need to adjust the way I look at things. Life, especially one with babies, is all about moments. There were a lot of moments in waiting to see if my baby girl was going to be physically handicapped and there were a lot of moments in a two hour block of crying. But they are all moments, and they all passed.

And somewhere amongst all those heart-stopping, gut-wrenching moments, there were some beautiful, peaceful, happy-so-much-my-heart-breaks-open moments in there, too.