Mommy Shorts

Sleep Beats Sex in Unscientific Survey

2012-02-23T22:28:01-08:00

In the Blantyre Weekend Getaway Giveaway sponsored by Poshbrood, I asked what you would do if you woke up child-free in a hotel room and "go back to sleep" was by far and away the most popular answer. So if there are any dads reading, if you are planning a romantic getaway, make sure to pack your porn and some lotion— your wife will be spending the weekend unconscious.

Some other answers that made me laugh were...

The Tired Mother:

"If I woke up child free in a hotel room, the first thing I would do is jump on the bed, cursing like a sailor while drinking champagne out of the bottle. Then I would run a bath, because I haven't been able to sit in a tub since 2003, followed by dessert for breakfast."

Marlana:

"If I woke up child-free in a hotel room, the first thing I would do is scream for help because surely I have been kidnapped."

April:

"I'd trash the place just like I was a rock star...just because I wouldn't be the one that has to clean it up. and then I'd sleep until security came to remove me from the building."

Erin:

"If I woke up child-free in a hotel room, the first thing I would do is burn my nursing bra and milk stained shirt in The Blantyre's beautiful in-room fireplace."

Ninja Mom:

"If I woke up chld-free in a hotel room, the first thing I'd do is take pictures and post them to Facebook. If discretion is the better part of valor, jealousy is the better part of a kid-free vacation in the Berkshires."

Robyn:

"If I woke up child-free in a hotel room I would silently thank my husband for staying home with the kids. And then I would go back to sleep."

But there could only be one winner of the fabulous first-class Blantyre weekend and that winner was chosen by my friend, "The Random Number Generator".

Congratulations to Susan!

What will she be doing?

Peeing in privacy for one thing. She also falls into the frisky 9% with her response, "I guess I could give the husband attention although he did get me into the predicament in the first place."

Congratulations, Mr. Susan!

(Remember to pack some condoms.)

Thank you to Poshbrood for hosting this fantastic giveaway. If you haven't already, check out their site and like them on Facebook. Poshbrood has awesome recommendations for high-end family travel spots, tons of great vacation promotions for their email subscribers and will even take care of booking.

We've been having our own family vacation this week which is why Mommy Shorts has been uncharacteristically serious the past few days— thanks to two brilliantly informative posts from Dr. B on getting your toddler to listen and Cloud on princess-themed toys that promote math and sceince skills.

Before I go, check out my post on Babble today which continues to explore the issue of building math confidence in young girls with Twenty Awesome Puzzles to Boost Your Toddler's Math & Science Skills.

We'll be flying home from Utah tomorrow so please pray to the "family travel gods" that Mazzy hasn't tired of the iPad.

Have a great weekend and see you Monday!

— Mommy Shorts

10 Toys To Help Princesses Master Math & Science

2012-02-22T23:20:00-08:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on Babble about the Lego Friends controversy called "Maybe We Should Let Girls Be Bakers and Ballerinas".

One commenter (who, for the record, does not have a problem with the Lego Friends line) wrote that the main problem with the princess phenomenon is that most of the toys involved don't help girls develop math and science skills.

The commenter goes by the name of Cloud and she is both a working scientist at a biotech company and the mother of two little girls. You can find her blogging at "The Wandering Scientist".

Cloud made an excellent point so I asked her if she would like to do a guest post highlighting "girly" toys that successfully teach these important skills.

Thankfully, she obliged because I am totally going to follow her suggestions.

Who wouldn't want a daughter who kicks ass in chemistry and calculus?

-----------------------------------------

As a proponent of strong role models for young women and girls, I never thought I would welcome princess merchandise into my home. But I have two daughters, one almost five and one just a little over two, and they had different ideas. Although we fought the pink and purple princess tide for awhile and succeeded in slowing its entry into our lives, ultimately— we lost.

However, I came to realize that my problem wasn’t with the princesses themselves so much as the nature of the toys that travel with them.

In the book Pink Brain, Blue Brain, Lise Eliot (a neuroscientist and mother of three) argues convincingly that most, if not all, gender differences we observe in our children’s skills are not innate, but learned differences, that develop because we have trained boys and girls differently from a surprisingly early age.

How do we train our kids? By giving them toys and experiences, and by encouraging their interests. As we all know, interests can change frequently, particularly in little kids. But skills grow, and build upon earlier skills.

With that in mind, my husband and I keep a close eye on the skills the toys we own promote. We have dolls and tea sets- there is nothing wrong with promoting nurturing skills. But we also have toys that promote key skills for future math and science success: spatial reasoning, pattern recognition, matching, logic and building.

It is not that I’ll be disappointed if my daughters don’t grow up to be science and engineering geeks like their parents- but I want that decision to be based on their authentic preferences, not out-dated gender stereotypes reinforced by toy manufacturers. Plus, I want my girls to have the skills to pursue whatever ends up interesting them as they get older.

The most educational toys in the world do no good, though, if your child won’t play with them. So I have searched for toys that promote early math and science skills that also appeal to the most princess-loving little girls.

1. Building Toys

Building toys promote both spatial reasoning plus an "I can make things" attitude. LEGO is the heavy weight in the building toy arena. I’ve got no problems with the new “girl” Friends sets (there's even an Inventor's Workshop ), but LEGO also has castle sets as part of their traditional line that should appeal to the princess-obsessed. (Unfortunately, you’ll have to add your own princess).

Options include (clockwise from left) LEGO Castle Building Set, Camelot Jr., Pink Megabloks and Fairy Garden Superstructs (like fairy-themed tinker toys).

2. Remote Control Vehicles

If your child is not into building things, don’t despair. There are other ways to promote spatial reasoning. Remote control vehicles are great because they make you really think about direction. Unfortunately, most remote control cars are monster trucks and other aggresively “boy” themes. However, My Little Pony makes a remote control car with (bonus!) a radio controller that looks a bit like a magic wand.

3. Puzzles

Puzzles are another great spatial reasoning toy. Once your child graduates to true jigsaw puzzles, check out the Ravensburger line. In our experience, these increase difficulty at the right pace to hold interest while also stretching skills, and the pictures have enough distinctive regions to guide your child to completion. And yes, they have a princess puzzle AND a ballerina puzzle .

4. Pattern Making Sets

Jewelry making sets can be great for promoting pattern skills including recognition and matching. My 4.5 year old loves the set below by B. Pop-Arty Beads, and only needs my help popping the beads together about 25% of the time.

We also had a surprise hit with both our 2 year old and 4.5 year old with the Design and Drill Toolkit . It comes with a book of patterns to match, and has the added bonus of getting them comfortable with using tools.

Another great option is Alex Little Hands My Pretty Mosaic with which your child can create mosaics of, what else? A castle and a crown.

5. Dominoes

Dominoes promote logic skills and are a good strategy game for kids as young as three. And if your daughter must have princesses on her dominoes, Disney has obliged. Of course, traditional dominoes will help develop number skills, too. I believe they even come in PINK.

It might be inevitable that princesses invade your house. But at least you can set the terms of your surrender.

-------------------------------------

Parental Tweet: On Apps

2012-02-22T23:17:11-08:00

follow @NinjaMomBlog on twitter

10 Ways To Teach Your Toddler to Listen

2012-02-21T21:25:36-08:00

Two weeks ago, I wrote a post about how Mazzy doesn't listen to me.

The post centered around a discussion I had with my sister (the brilliant Dr. B) who told me to stop asking Mazzy so many questions. Particularly ones where "no" was not an acceptable answer.

I got so many responses from readers who wanted to try Dr. B's advice, I asked her to write a more in-depth post on "listening". Or as Dr. B calls it— COMPLIANCE. (That's why she's the doctor.)

It's a good thing I did because turns out, I'm still getting a lot of things wrong.

For one thing, after the whole French parenting brouhaha, I decided to try saying "no" more sternly which escalated to a place I found uncomfortable and yet STILL DIDN'T WORK.

Dr. B says that children are more likely to respond to a directive when it is done in a child-friendly tone.

I guess both Mazzy and I have a lot to learn.

With that, I will hand you over to Dr. B...

--------------------------------------

Most children begin to exhibit non-compliance around age two (i.e., the terrible twos) as they begin to explore their independence and develop a self-image. At this age, a child’s non-compliance is their way of communicating, “I am my own person. I’m separate from you.”

In other words, they recognize that mom and dad’s desires do not always match their own and that they can have their own likes, dislikes, and belongings. Common behaviors during this stage are frequent use of the word “no,” difficulty sharing, claiming possessions as “mine", picky eating, and throwing tantrums when they do not get their way.

Children continue to exhibit non-compliant behavior throughout their life as they explore their own unique identities, separate from their parents, although their way of expressing themselves becomes increasingly sophisticated (e.g., style of dress, teen rebellion, etc).

Instead of becoming more restrictive during these times which will likely make the behavior worse, be flexible and use your child’s resistance as a barometer for when you may need to give them more developmentally appropriate control over their choices and environment.

Below are a few suggestions for minimizing non-compliance and increasing listening in young children:

1) Be close and talk at eye-level: Some children learn that a parent is not likely to follow through until the third or fourth time they are asked to do something so they ignore the parent the first few times a request is made. Make sure your child listens the first time by setting them up for success. Do not raise your voice or intervene from across the room. Instead, make requests in close proximity to them at their eye level.

2) Give choices within acceptable parameters: When children are non-compliant, they are looking for some control. Giving choices is one way to give your child control but on your terms. State all requests or directions as choices when you can. Instead of saying, “You need to get dressed now.” Try, “Do you want to put on your shirt or pants first?” while holding up both options to make the choice as concrete as possible. Similarly, avoid making something sound like a choice when it isn’t. For example, do not say “Can you come to the dinner table?” when “no” is not an option.

3) Keep language developmentally appropriate: 2 and 3-year-olds are just learning to follow one and two-step directions, respond to questions, and to understand negative terms (e.g., Don’t throw). Use positive terms that tell your child what to do (e.g., "Walk!") instead of what not to do (e.g., "No running!"). State one direction at a time and give your child 5 to 7 seconds to process and respond to what was asked.

4) Limit your use of directives and questions: Do not give your child more opportunities to practice "not listening" by firing questions or directions that they fail to respond to. Instead, only make a request when you have time to follow through and ask a question that your child is likely to respond to.

5) State directives in a respectful and child friendly tone (without anger): Children are more likely to follow directions when the tone is positive.

6) Be genuine and sincere: Indicate what you need your child to do by using phrases such as “I need you to” instead of “You need to” to avoid a potential power struggle when your child responds by saying “No I don’t!”

7) Always follow through on directives: Make consequences known in advance (positive or negative) (e.g., “First get dressed, then you can play with your doll.” Or “If you put that toy in your mouth again, I’m going to take it away.”) Once you've made a directive, you must follow through on the consequence if your child doesn't do what you say. If your child complies, make sure to acknowledge it with plenty of descriptive praise (e.g., Good listening! Thank you for doing what I asked you to do!) to increase the behavior.

8) Give Information: Providing information lets you communicate in a way that does not reinforce non-compliance. When you give information such as “It is time to get changed” or “I’d like you to get changed,” you hope that your child will consider the information and change their behavior but you are not demanding that they do so immediately which could set you both up for failure or a power struggle. This gives you time to test the waters and decide when and how to proceed (e.g., by letting your child play longer, giving a choice, using a back-up reward, or choosing a negative consequence for not listening when you decide to state the request more firmly).

9) Model Good Listening: Be a role model for good listening by showing that you are listening to your child by imitating and reflecting back what your child says. Try to verbalize the feelings your child is expressing with behavior, in words.

10) Make listening fun: Use games and playful language to teach your child to listen. Play games such as “Simon Says” with the whole family and then use this game at other times when your child is less likely to listen (e.g., If its time to get dressed say, “Simon says put your hands up” and then slip his/her shirt on). Keep it fun and effective by alternating between funny directions (e.g., stick out your tongue) and things you want your child to do.

A child’s resistant behavior can be difficult to embrace at any age; however, responding harshly or with criticism only makes the behavior worse and can potentially damage your child’s self-esteem. Instead, remain calm and keep in mind that non-compliance is a completely normal (and important) part of development that results in children becoming the special, unique individuals they are destined to be.

----------------------------

Dr. B has a PHD in school psychology and specializes in early childhood development.

12 Totally Inappropriate Baby Shower Cards

2012-02-20T21:59:01-08:00

I've been noticing a plethora of someecards circulating lately (some hilarious, some offensive, some hilariously offensive) and decided to check out the site specifically for baby-related cards. I thought it would be a quick, easy post to write while I'm on vacation.

Five hours and countless references to "abortion" later, I have selected what I think are the TWELVE FUNNIEST BABY SHOWER CARDS. (Note: I did not write any of them.)

Have fun sending them to your pregnant friends.

It's amazing how beautiful sentiments can be for expectant moms, isn't it?

-------------------------------

As I mentioned briefly above, I'm currently away on vacation— with Mazzy in tow. Unfortunately, the first thing Mazzy wanted to do when we got here was GO BACK HOME. Check out "Uh-Oh, My 2yo is Homesick on our Family Vacation" on Babble today. I'm talking about my realization that Mazzy isn't just along for the ride anymore.

Fan Photo Album: Babes in Love

2012-02-16T21:50:42-08:00

Above is Claire and Mikey, just one of the many adorable photos submitted on the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage after I posted a request for pictures of kids kissing. The request was inspired both by Valentine's Day and the very timely photo of Mazzy's first kiss last weekend.

Now, if you are a regular of my blog, you know that whenever I do a fan photo album, there will be captions. This time is no exception. HOWEVER. I realized midway through the captioning process that these photos were a little trickier to caption than most.

For instance, I made a very smart decision NOT TO CAPTION any of the brother/sister pics and instead post them in a separate VERY INNOCENT slideshow called "Sibling Love" on Babble. If you posted a picture of two siblings kissing, you can probably find them there.

As for the rest of you, I tried to keep it as PG as possible. Some of the photos made it tough. If anyone has an issue with a caption, just email me and I will take it down.

Ready?

Let's start with Luke and Zephra:

Izzy and Mikey:

A & E at a wedding (not their own):

Tea and Amelie:

Mara and Christian:

Carson and a stranger:

Keith and Olive:

Ben and Bella:

Dillon and Emily:

Matty and Lilly:

Shayden and Rylee:

Bennett and Bella:

Emerson and Molly:

Lilia and Matthew:

Paige and Luke:

Miranda and Erik:

Cedella and Anna:

Hayden and Reagan as Superman and Wonder Woman:

Julie and Logan:

Ten-month-old Jake and two-year-old Lainie:

And finally, Colton:

Alright. Did we all survive that okay?

My love-themed week is officially complete.

Next week, I'm taking Mazzy to Utah so wish me luck on the plane. I've got some great stuff in store— the return of Dr. B, an excellent guest post and the winner of the Incredibly Fabulous Vacation Giveaway will be announced. If you haven't entered yet, you can do so here.

Speaking of winners, congratulations to Amanda from "New Mom on the Blog" who won the Worst Wedding Story Comment Competition with "Period Surprise". Well-deserved. You are the lucky winner of a onesie from Mimosa.

Although, there was a comment on the Mommy Shorts Fanpage that had it been entered sooner, may have taken top honors.

Craig said...

"My mom freaked out at her place in our processional. Said "don't fucking touch me" when I went to hug her at our rehearsal dinner. Both my parents didn't show for the wedding. My brother-in-law channelled his dead father in giving us his/their blessing, then sang Mustang Sally with the band but adlibbed racist lyrics. How do I get in on this and what did I win?"

Sorry, Craig, you are too late. But might I interest you in some Mossy Balls as a consolation prize?

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

— Mommy Shorts

Parental Tweet: On First Love

2012-02-16T21:39:38-08:00

Mommy Shorts

6 Must-Have Lesser-Known Children's Books

2012-02-15T21:12:42-08:00

After railing on Eric Carle and Winnie the Pooh, I figured it would be nice to tell you about the children's books I actually like. This being my love-themed week and all. These books aren't as popular as Knuffle Bunny , Olivia or The Gruffalo but they are all beautifully designed, incredibly fun to read and adored by both Mazzy and myself.

NOTE: I do not take my book recommendations lightly. I made sure to read each book a few thousand times before giving them the official "thumbs up".

1. Iggy Peck, Architect , by Andrea Beaty and David Roberts

Iggy is a boy who loves to build with anything he can get his hands on (chalk, pancakes, diapers, etc.) much to the chagrin of his uptight second grade teacher who has a fear of heights.

If there is one book you should buy out of all the books I'm about to mention, it's this one. The illustrations, the story and the ridiculously advanced rhymes (Young Iggy Peck is an architect and has been since he was two, when he built a great tower in only an hour, with nothing but diapers and glue) are just as impressive as any important piece of literature. I say this with all seriousness and also as a person who hasn't read an important piece of literature since college.

2. Up and Down , By Oliver Jeffers

This is a classic story about a boy and his chess-playing penguin friend who dreams of flying. The deceptively simple illustrations and dry humor make for the perfect bedtime book. And any book featuring a poster that reads "Ever dream of flying? Are you short and fat? The traveling show is looking for a new living cannonball!" scores high honors with me.

3. For Just One Day , By Laura Leuck and Marc Boutavant

We've been reading this book for awhile and Mazzy has the whole thing memorized. It's about imagining yourself as different animals (If I could have a spiky spine, I'd get to be a porcupine!) but ultimately wanting to be that special someone that is "me". It has gorgeously whimsical illustrations and the rhymes roll off the tongue in a way that makes it super easy for your child to rhyme along.

4. Foxy and Egg , By Alex T. Smith

Foxy Dubois is thrilled when a mouthwatering egg shows up on her doorstep. She takes it in, entertains it all night with hopes of scrambling it for breakfast in the morning. ("You simply must stay over," said Foxy. "I have something even more wonderful planned for breakfast!") I don't want to spoil the ending for you but let's just say— things don't work out for Foxy as planned.

The story is fun, if you like things slightly macabre, and the illustrations are amazing with fun details like poultry themed knick-knacks strewn about Foxy's fabulously decorated mansion.

5. Itsy Mitsy Runs Away , By Elanna Allen

Mazzy was obsessed with this book from the second it entered our home. It was a gift and I was a bit nervous about it at first because it's about a little girl who runs away because she doesn't like bedtime. Why give a kid any ideas? So far, I don't think the true meaning of the story has sank in. But I suppose it's only a matter of time before Mazzy's packing her belongings in a hankerchief and hanging it on the end of a stick, ready to take on the world. Wish me luck!

6. Art, by Patrick McDonnell

Art loves art. That's pretty much the story. As an art lover myself, I love the ode to creativity juxtaposed against the simple childlike illustrations. Every phrase rhymes so it's fun to let your child easily fill in the last word of each sentence.

My favorite part though is at the end. After successfully reciting each rhyme throughout the book, Mazzy always get the last word wrong. It ends:

And when he awakes
(a little bit later)
Art sees his art
on the refrigerator
held there by magnets
(stars and a heart)
Put there by mother
'Cause mother loves Art.

Mazzy always mistakenly subs the last "Art" with "me". Rhyme or no rhyme, she just can't fathom mother loving anyone or anything but herself.

That cocky little shit.

(She's almost right.)

What is your favorite lesser-known children's book?

---------------------------

In continuation of my "love-themed" week, I posted "10 Opportunities for Dads to Demonstrate a Little Romance" on Babble today. It all starts with some folded laundry. Check it out here.

Comment Competition: Worst Wedding Stories

2012-02-15T03:49:06-08:00

A while back (August 4th to be exact), I posted a story about my mother nearly slicing my labia on my wedding day. I asked everyone to tell me their own wedding horror stories in the comment section.

And there your stories sat until today.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate the day after Valentine's Day than with a "Worst Wedding Stories" comment competition!

We had grooms falling out of windows, unity candle tablecloths catching fire and something about a wedding video special effect that made an aunt's head of hair look like a giant blonde vagina.

After careful deliberation, I selected my ten favorite wedding snafus from under the post. (FYI- the groom falling out of the window didn't make it in because there was just not enough information.)

Now it's your job to tell me which is the absolute WORST.

Winner gets a screen printed onesie or kid's tee from Mimosa, a company started by two sisters that make original eco-friendly art, stationary and clothing for kids. Check out the three adorable Valentine's Day themed items below:

As a special offer, Mimosa is offering 15% off to Mommy Shorts readers up until February 22nd. Just use SHORTS15 as a promo code.

Ready for some godawful wedding stories?

Here are your competitors:

1. Susan said...

"Ten years ago, fish bowls were all the rage for reception decor. Unfortunately prior to our big entrance, all of our lovely gold fish kicked the bucket. The wedding party had to run through the reception hall franticly scooping them out of the bowls."

2. Megan said...

"My Mother decided in lieu of performing the traditional doting 'mother of the bride' role, she would just go ahead and get married herself. The day before. Husband #3 to be specific. Her argument was that it was very difficult for new Husband to take time off work and since we were going to be in Las Vegas anyway (destination wedding mind you: NOT spontaneous ceremony performed by Elvis on our part...); why not? She bought a wedding dress, shoes, even sent out her own announcements. It was like our very own wedding side show. Four years later, she still thinks this was entirely acceptable behavior."

3. Tracey said...

"I was none too pleased when my DJ, whom we asked to play Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind as our reception entrance song (we're huge Yankee fans) played the Darth Vadar theme song from Empire Strikes Back instead."

4. Nichole said...

"Prior to the reception, my husband gave his older brother envelopes containing tips for the various vendors. With less than an hour left of the reception my husband approached his brother and asked for the DJ's envelope. My BIL swore up and down that he had given the envelope back to my husband an hour prior. This enraged my husband, who had no recollection of this. Things got heated, words were exchanged, a punch was thrown and my husband actually had to be restrained. As I helped calm him down, he patted his pocket and found...the DJ's envelope. Guess he had had more to drink than he realized."

5. Steph said...

"Our ceremony took place in my parents' back yard next to my mom's large flower garden. I didn't know it at the time, but most of the attendees weren't paying attention to the service, because they were distracted by the HUGE spider crawling up the back of my dress. It kept slipping down the slippery material, so it never reached my waist. When I moved forward for the unity candle, it tumbled down my dress and disappeared. For the rest of the service, folks debated whether it had crawled under my dress, or had scuttled off into the grass. At least they were entertained!"

6. Momov2 said...

"At the reception, our best man got so jealous of another wedding party member who was dancing with his wife that he decided to punch a trashcan. Looks can be deceiving because what he thought was this little tin can was actually made of steel. Dude BROKE HIS HAND. Instead of the best man making a speech, he had to go to the emergency room."

7. Natasha said...

"Our DJ played 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' and our friend asked permission to "perform with it". We agreed. The 5-6 minute performance included him singing on the mic, the entire room gathering in a circle around him, him taking his shirt off and sliding across the floor, and eventually humping my mother-in-law's leg as she looked on in horror. The sections of our wedding photos are now called: 'Getting Ready', 'Ceremony', 'Reception', and 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'."

8. Amanda said...

"I got my period (completely out of the blue and a full week early) on my wedding day. Unfortunately, my sister was the one to discover this while helping me go to the bathroom two seconds before I was supposed to walk down the aisle (all I could see was miles and miles of white satin). I had EIGHT bridesmaids, two female photographers, two of my groomsmen's girlfriends, and 3 different emergency kits in that little room, but not. one. damn. tampon.

Various members of my wedding party then had to approach complete strangers in an art museum whispering for sanitary products. 15 minutes later, one of my girls produced an applicator-less tampon. I had NEVER seen one before so I had to ask how they worked. So yeah, I had to blindly finger myself on my wedding day in front of a roomful of people giving me verbal guidance."

9. Greta said...

"My first wedding took place in my childhood church but we didn't know the current pastor very well. My fiance's last name was long and Japanese, and even though the pastor had practiced pronouncing it during our marriage counseling session, he never once pronounced it correctly during the ceremony! It was funny the first couple of times, but as the ceremony went on (and the pronunciations got more ridiculous--he never said it the same way twice), I could see my fiance's family starting to get MAD. He probably said it seven or eight different ways that day, and somehow NEVER managed to get it right."

10. Cheryl said...

"We were at the reception in the ballroom of a hotel. It was the "throwing of the garter" portion of the evening when some woman in shorts and a tank top walks in, grabs the mic from the DJ and starts SCREAMING about how she and her 6 kids can't sleep because we're making such a racket.

Here's what happened next: My brother grabbed the mic from the woman. The wedding coordinator starts shoving the woman toward the door. The woman PUNCHES the wedding coordinator. My husband's (very large) aunt punches the woman.The best man shoves the woman into the elevator so my husband's aunt and the rest of the women in his extended family don't beat her senseless.

We found out later that not only was the room totally soundproof, but the crazy woman was staying in the hotel ALONE (no 6 kids). She was escorted out by the police.

It is a great story to tell now, but at the time, all I could think was that my fun, classy wedding had turned White Trash Fabulous really fast!"

Time to vote!

Winner will be announced this Friday. Good luck!

Ditch the Kids for Valentine's Day (Super Fancy Vacation Giveaway!)

2012-02-13T21:00:00-08:00

I'm all for "vacationing" with the kid, but from my experience, a vacation with a child/children is not much of a vacation. Basically, you are doing all of the things you normally do (changing diapers, forcing naptime, cleaning food off the floor, etc.) but way less conveniently.

Since Mike and I have the luxury of a free and willing sitter (my mother), on occasion, we like to sieze the opportunity and go away for a night or a weekend by ourselves.

It's only happened one or two times, but oh my god, waking up at 7am and realizing you can stay in bed for the next few hours without someone demanding to turn on Sesame Street, spilling milk on the sheets and dragging your comforter on the floor to make a tent, is the stuff which "temporarily childless dreams" are made.

In other words, if the opportunity presents itself, I highly recommend you take it.

One of my longtime sponsors is a site called Poshbrood which specializes in highend travel for families— recommendations, special deals and bookings. When they contacted me to arrange a weekend vacation giveaway (one for me, one for a reader), I was a little hesitant.

You mean, pack Mazzy up for the weekend, attempt unsuccessfully to all sleep in the same room and not be able to go out or turn the TV on past 8pm at night?

Oh no no! A trip just for you and Mike!

Okay, now we're talking. Where did you have in mind?

How 'bout...THIS PLACE:

It's called the Blantyre, a Relais & Chateau Property in the Berkshires (about a three hour drive from Manhattan). Since there is no way for me to do it justice (I have not yet been there), I am just going to quote them directly:

"Lying in the heart of the Berkshires is breathtaking Blantyre, a timeless mansion recognized as one of the finest hotels in the world, where guests can experience the re-creation of life and service of a bygone era. Each of the 21 rooms has their own unique identity filled with enchanting art, fine fabrics and furnishings. The property features fine dining, an exemplary wine cellar, spa, and 117 acres of breathtaking grounds to explore including swimming, croquet, tennis, ice skating and walking trails."

Translation: MOST DEFINITELY A CHILD-FREE PLACE.

Sign me up, please!

Wanna come? (Not with me, you can bring the significant other of your choosing.)

Today, Poshbrood is giving away a weekend at the fabulously decadent Blantyre to one of my lucky readers.

The trip is for a couple on the weekend of their choice (subject to blackout dates which include holiday weekends and availability). The package includes luxurious accommodations and breakfast. Room will be assigned upon arrival and will be the HIGHEST CATEGORY AVAILABLE. Room rates go from $600-$2,000 a night and winner will get a premium room so it's easily a $3,000 package.

Time to line up a sitter (my mother is not available but nice try) and enter below!

GIVEAWAY RULES

1) Because this is a very large prize package, you must be a Mommy Shorts Facebook Fan, a Poshbrood Facebook Fan and a Blantyre Facebook Fan to enter. (I promise, it will be worth it.)

Then finish the following sentence in the comment section below: "If I woke up child-free in a hotel room, the first thing I would do is..."

2) For a second entry, leave a second comment after tweeting the following:

I entered to win a super fancy weekend getaway at the Blantyre via @mommyshorts & @poshbrood. http://bit.ly/w42y50 #valentinesday #giveaway

Winner will be announced Friday, February 24th.

Happy Valentine's Day!

-----------------------------

Speaking of Valentine's Day, check out Mazzy's "Deconstructed Valentine" on Babble today. This is what happens when a non-crafty mom and a toddler get together to make something special for Daddy. I'm sure he'll love it!