Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!

Raise your hand to chaos

2023-11-07T14:48:00.001-05:00

A public display for attention seems to have become a dramatic phenomenon within the BRAVO t.v. world. Yes, there are many other reality shows, but I feel that the chain of "housewives" created this safari of humans invading the real messy side to others sadness, anger, and loss.

I raise my hand to the guilty pleasure of chaos. I have connected to a lot of these ladies on so many levels. I have loved by not knowing truths and I have hated for the same. I was young and made many mistakes and thankfully, I grew up in a time where social media was not a thing. Cell phones were non-existent! I like to think of it as a safety zone, but it wasn't. No one knew they were safe, because no one knew about social media!

We were the young generations of Nintendo and Sega that evolved to cell phones with antennas! Hell, I was handwriting notes on lined paper and legit making phone calls!!! When I f**ked up? I was outed by someone witnessing it and literally telling on me! There was no pictures to prove it, unless someone had a camera and was waiting for film to develop and process at a local Rite Aid! Even then, nobody ever though to take a photo, It just wasn't a thing.

Nevertheless, I would say that my life was pretty messy as a young adult. If Bravo were around? I would be wealthy today!!! Or would I? Isn't that what Bethenney's reckoning is all about? Residual pay? With that in mind, I guess I would not be wealthy today!

So is it genius of a network or a specific individual to think to themself "Hey self, what if I get a group of women and follow them around all day, everyday?" I mean think about that for a second. Why, just why on earth would someone think to this? Hell, why didn't I think to do this?

But truly, what comes next? What will be the next big thing aside from reality t.v.? Shit, I cannot even believe that I am still blogging! Like, does anyone read anymore? I should be vlogging! Why waste my time typing when I can verbally address what is on my mind?

One thing that has ALWAYS "rubbed me the wrong way" is the chain being called "Housewives", because they aren't! Most are business women. A house wife is a woman who stays home and tends to her family and her house. She doesn't have a glam squad, she doesn't have a chef, maid, or driver! The entire franchise is misnamed. Most are spoiled wives! Call them the spoiled wives of (fill in state).

Show us boring women who have small homes, credit card debt and half-ass jobs! The parents who work their asses off to pay for college and drive Ford or Hyundai's! That is me and guess what? I got some drama ALL OF THE TIME happening! I guess that it just wouldn't be fun to watch a middle calss family in action.

And what is up with this parade of bravolebrities on Ozempic? SERIOUSLY?????? Being called out & admitting to being on it. HOW is this legal? Aren't these drugs specifically for diabetes? Okay, so it is a proven weight loss method, but I do not think it is classified for that. Nonetheless, it is being ABUSED publicly! WTF? One of the Jersey housewives admitted to taking it and on the daily. Others admit to using it as a jump start, but I feel once you are on it? You are hooked! It is dramatic and drastic results rather quick. But the one housewife on Jersey said that she will stay on it and continue to eat her pizza and bagels and allow her skin to trifold! I just cannot take how accepted this Bravouniverse has become and how hurtful it can be to many.

All in the name of fame with no shame in their game. RAISE YOUR HAND FOR CHAOS! LET THE RIDE CONTINUE...

DWTS Ariana's Most tragic life event?!?!?

2023-10-25T16:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, so for starters, my title says it all! I am a true fan of DRAMA! Perhaps my new blog title should be "Drama Mama!" I am sure that title is taken & I will have to come up with something more clever. Give me time people!lol

Anyway, while watching DWTS last night, every celebrity dancer had a back story for the song that they chose to dance to. It was an honorary Len Goodman night, so it was already a heavy on the heart two hour episode. I found the celebrities backstories to be rather substantial.

But let us get straight to the point. Ariana Maddox (SP?). Now, now...America's sweetheart who was not well-known has now risen from the ashes to re-birth herself like a phoenix.

She is very well known for the love scandal that was played out in the hit reality Vanderpump Rules. Most have heard of the Bravo hit while a majority have not. I am certain the older generations have not. This was, in my opinion, was fabricated. But let's just say that it wasn't. In all fairness of the three involved, let us just play this out.

Man and Woman in a near ten year relationship (just shy of) has a female friend who is close to female in relationship and becomes close to male as well. Hangs out with them very often and all three become friends. Man and Woman in said relationship do not seem to get along very well on camera through several seasons. Admittance of zero sex between the two, admittance of female sitting in back seat with another female having some sort of sex while male is driving! Not seen as cheating though!?!?

Male wants kids. Female doesn't. I don't know people, but what I do know is watching this play out over the years, I would have bet money (a lot of money) that this relationship was doomed! It was supposed to be some new age, freedom ride relationship. Oh but NOT an open one! Make sense of that.

Moving ahead, male must be feeling lonely or horny and female friend is there to lend her ear in what becomes lending just a little more. The two become physically connected as well as emotional. Woman in relationship is oblivious to this. Hmmm.

Skip ahead, female friend gets messy and records herself masturbating and sends it to male. Female girlfriend gets male boyfriends phone because it just so happens to drop! WOW, what are the odds?

Female girlfriend opens the phone, finds the video and WAH LAH! Scandal begins. Now I am not saying that she doesn't have the right to feel hurt and betrayed. Of course she does, but I am 50 and lived a lot of life. I have seen this situation in my teens, twenties, and thirties! This is not exclusive to them! This is a sad yet very common scenario. WHY do two out of three of them get so much spotlight and money for a messy break-up? Not one break-up (I get that) but three. The male and female who were together for roughly nine years (awh too bad. just shy of common law marriage), the female and female friendship (yes that hurts, but again, not the first friendship to break over this), and the male and female friend who slept with him! Okay, okay. That is sad, but is it REALLY THE MOST TRAUMATIC and HEARTBREAKING experience in your entire life?????? "Every rose has it's thorn" honey. Move on. The scar stays as a reminder but you have already moved on yet still live with your boyfriend who cheated on you with your "best friend!" Make that make sense? Ahh yes. MONEY!

I do not even BELIEVE that line! If I was as hurt and as mad as she is crying out to be? I wouldn't care about the mortgage. Trust me, they make enough money to split up. The popularity that these two have received over a classic affair in a young adults life is atrocious. So recap. Just before her song of choice and dance, she went in to say why she chose it, and it was because of the affair!!!!!!! STOP IT!!! STOP NOW! Enough already. A convenient reason to keep relevant, I suppose.

I wish that she would stop playing the poor me, damsel in distress, weak female. Her persona prior to this "affair" was one that had attitude, often found to be acting rather mean to her boyfriend, not the greatest friend on the show, and pretty much boring. THIS? This turn of events has given her the opportunity to re-create herself and bank. Even boyfriend who cheated? Probably one of the most hated men of 2023 has become famous! Famous through being hated. He basically admitted that he just had to get through the fan hatred and near bullying to come out ahead. Guess what? He pulled through! He is on reality shows as well. Still touring with his band. More popular than ever. Doesn't everyone like a "bad boy?"

On the other hand, said 'friend" who slept with her best friends boyfriend was nearly burned at the stake! Hated and bullied with some evilness. Verbally attacked on BRAVO T.V.!!!!! Emotionally abused to the point where she admitted herself in to a mental health facility! Getting no royalties out of this. At least none that have surfaced yet. But I am waiting!

I guess that the point to this blog is that (in my own opinion), this situation is nothing new, it happens so much in life. People hurt people on this level and so many other levels. Forgiveness is probably the hardest human act. Some things cannot be forgiven and that makes sense. Forgetting? Another act that I think is just that, an act! I do not think you can forgive and not forget. So I think people just have to work their way through the storm , because that sun is going to shine again. But Ariana should want to portray that side of this so that all of young America can see that life hurts. People hurt you. It is ok to be sad and mad, but do not use that to build yourself and your character. Rather use the opposite and use strength and experience to build a strong character who people don't feel bad for but go "SHE IS BAD ASS!" Than show America you are a force and will take on these competitive reality shows as a ROCKY BALBOA and not the vulnerable weak princess waiting to be rescued.

Share your heart again

2023-08-01T13:31:00.000-04:00

I have inherited the puppy gene! Growing up, we were never without a canine companion. Our house was not a home without a dog, and our family was not whole without a fur child.

I married a man who did not have dogs growing up, but knew that when meeting me that a dog was a package deal. With that being said, I had always wanted a muscle dog. My father always favored the hunting breeds. We ALWAYS had a Brittany Spaniel. My first dog was Brett. He was a beautiful copper and white spaniel who was so intelligent, loving, and beyond the huntsman that he w
as born to be.

My husband and I resided in an apartment where this young couple had a Boxer. His name was "Cosmo!" My first interaction with him was nothing short of awesome! I immediately fell in love with him and that led me down a journey with the Boxer breed. Just enough muscle in his physique to allow me to feel secure with a heart of gold and goofiness of a clown!

I made a promise to myself that once we bought our first home with a backyard, I would get a Boxer, and that is exactly what we did! We found a fawn boy and immediately fell in love.His name was Buster. Buster was raised with my babies. My first born was six months when we brought Buster home, and they grew up together, I immediately got pregnant with my son and I remember going in to labor one night. Buster was at my side. He sensed his mommy was in pain and sat still while I held him tightly through my contractions. He was like a real life medicine ball!

Sadly, Buster encountered a rare medical condition. Some sort of spinal cord damage that interrupted his brain to tell his bladder to release urine. The journey was short but heartbreaking. We tried everything to stimulate that nerve, but all efforts proved to fail leading Buster to cross over the rainbow bridge. My heart was broken.

As time moved on, we healed. We collectively decided to open our hearts to another Boxer. I wanted another boy. I am not sure why I gravitate more to the males, but I do. There are no rhymes or reasons, I just wanted another Boxer boy. I found a wonderful breeder who corresponded with me daily while my fur baby was in the womb of his mama. The night she gave birth, I felt like I gave birth to a third child!

That was when Maximus came into our lives and changed them all for the better. Just like Buster, he was strong, smart, lovable and goofy. That is a Boxer for ya! Maximus became "Max", "Doogle Butt" "Doogs" and as his senior years approached he was my "Mr. Doogs!" To say he was a mama's boy would be an understatement. He was my shadow, my courage, my weakness, and my strength. He had my heart.

I battled a sudden and hard loss in my life. My Dad. The hardest hit I had ever felt. I could not navigate my life. I felt as if it just stopped. I stepped into a living nightmare. A fog that I could not clear. I struggled with depression and anxiety daily. I lost a great amount of weight and fought everyday to get better. Nothing was working, the grief was winning. I battled with the pain, but the pain got greater and the weight of it all got heavier. For months, I was not myself. I did not feel like me nor did I look like me, but the one sure thing that I had by side 24/7 was my "Doogs". He knew that I wasn't well, and shared the burden. I know that if he could have taken it all from me and put on to him? He would have done that immediately. I owed him so much. Do not get me wrong, I had the support of my husband and my kids, but I could feel that they were worried about me and feared for me. Maximus knew that I could get myself out of it with him by my side. Eventually, I did. When I did, Max began to get sick. He had growths on his legs, chest, and other areas of his beautiful physique. I owed it to him to fight, and fight we did. Sadly, we lost the battle and I watched my special fur baby get sicker. I knew it was time to let him go and not selfishly hold on to him because I wanted him with me. I never imagined a life without my Max. I never even wanted to think about him not being by my side. He never left mine so I never wanted to leave his. The day that we made the decision to allow him the dignity to leave his sick body was the day I knew that I lost my soulmate. My saving grace. My powerful energy that was inside of me while grieving my dad. All that I could do was pray to my dad to come and get him, and I begged my dad to wait at the light for him and take him to play ball, Frisbee (which was his favorite thing), and walks. A part of me felt serenity in knowing that my Dad would be there to take him and show him Heaven. They will be waiting for me when it is my time. Buster too!

As Max was closing his eyes to take the journey to Heaven, I just kept whispering in his ear "I love you, and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Thank YOU". There aren't enough thank yous in the world to say to him for being there for me through my hardest loss, and than he past. Coming home to his empty bed, and seeing the frisbee in my yard just broke me, and I found myself in that all too familiar place of grief. The hardest journey is grief. It is indescribable but defined enough to just make you hate the world.

So once again, I found myself feeling lost and emotional. All valid feelings of grief, and nobody in the house could even think of allowing another dog in to our home, but my thoughts went there. When thinking of a new puppy, my heart felt healing and a smile cracked upon my face while a tear dripped down my eye. Nonetheless, I knew that my Max wanted me to be happy again. He knows that I have enough love in my heart to share it with a pup without feeling like I have forgotten about him or Buster. Those boys can never nor will ever be forgotten. They have left pawprints on my heart and are now my guardian angels. I now how my third Boxer boy. "Zeke" meaning "God strengthens." I can tell you right now just how much Zeke has strengthened my weakened heart from all of the loss that I have suffered. My guardian angels (Dad, Buster, and Max) have sent him to me. I feel it in my entire being. He is their gift to me, to us. Our family is now hole again and our house that felt so hollow now feels solid again. We are blessed. Zeke is a dream come true after the nightmares. Share your hearts, share your homes, and never feel like being happy is wrong.

Grief is a love that has no future

2023-04-26T16:05:00.001-04:00

I never really knew the true impact of grief until I lost my Father nearly two years ago. Approaching the age of 50 is an awakening to so many things.

I have loved and lost in my 49 years of life, but my hardest hit was my Dad. I am still at such a crossroads in my own head on how to live my life all the while knowing that the rest of it is without the man who raised me. Who helped me become the woman that I am today.

Crazy thing is, we all know that we are going to lose the ones we love someday or they will lose us first, but it still does not prepare you for the insane emotions that replace all sense of happiness and bright outlooks on the future. Suddenly, life becomes dark and dreary and downright sad.

I have had to navigate these waves of emotions and it has not been easy. I tried traditional and organic methods. Unfortunately, the grief and life change was too overwhelming that I became very ill. So physically ill that I was scared that I was dying. Extreme weight loss, no appetite, relentless anxiety attacks, and total tears on the daily.

Grief is no joke. People say that time heals. I suppose it does(insert shoulder shrug emoji). I am skeptical. I do not feel healed. What I do feel is a bit of acceptance? Perhaps I have learned how to live my life being receptive to facing hardened truths? Truths that overshadow what the mind doesn't want to stand up to? That my Patriarch is invisible from sight but not from mind? Confronting grief everyday by becoming more powerful than it? Or maybe just allowing grief to be a part of who I am. Just another facet of my being.

I do not think that I will fully understand this emotion, because it is cruel. I once heard two great analogies and they hold true. "Grief is not a weight that gets lighter. It remains heavy, but we just learn how to carry it." Another was, "Grief is a love that has no future."

A poem for you, Dad

If I could wish you back, you would already be here

If I could love you one more day I would ask for one more year

Time wasn't on our side, it gave me no warning

Now all that is left is tears from mourning

One early morning phone call with chilling words that you were gone, having to hang up the phone and wonder how to move on

If only I said I love you one last time

Told you what you meant to me than perhaps I'd feel fine

Undoubtedly so, but it is something I will never know

I hope I make your proud and you are smiling at me

But even more, I hope Heaven is peaceful and you are eternally happy

We have one chance at life and you truly gave it your all

Such a hard worker, husband, father, and friend

your journey is over but your soul has no end

You meant the world to me, I was your baby girl

I know you are telling me to live my life "Give it a whirl"

I am sorry Dad, sorry I did not say bye

That is the hardest part, I cannot deny

I will continue loving you everyday, I will breathe in deep and than will say:

"Be with me today, Dad

I need your strength. Be with me tomorrow and all the days through

Afterall I am who I am because of you."

Thank you Daddy, and P.S. Please take good care of Buster and Maximus for me.

The RETURN?!?!?!

2018-04-25T11:44:00.000-04:00

In an attempt to get back in to the "swing of things". I will try and fill the HUGE GAP in my life since I had last written in my blog.

To date, my kids are TEENAGERS! I know! Like..WTF???!!! It all truly happens in an instant! I use to not believe people when they would say, "It all goes by so fast." There were days that all I wanted was years to go by so fast, just so that I could have a piece of ME back. Now I regret wishing away those days. The years have gone by so fast, and I miss my little ones.

I am now tested with attitudes and laziness! UGH! I know that this is yet another, "Ha Ha!" moment. My dad will say, "Now you know how I felt!" WHOOPSIE! Yes Dad, I do. I guess it is that thing called karma.

Nonetheless, I would not trade this life for any other. I am blessed with two kick ass kids. I love them to pieces, and I sometimes dislike them! I am sure this is a natural MOM thing? Yeah, yeah..go ahead and say it differently, but the fact is that these pieces of me, ARE just that...PIECES OF ME! The wise-ass, trouble making, eye rolling, loving, hugging, and ass kissing WOMAN! "Sugar & Spice PEOPLE!" (insert wink eye emoji).

I truly cannot catch you up on life, as it would take me many blog pages to do so. So I am going to start again. I will re-create my blog to be in the here & now. The life of a mom to two teens, and one BAD ASS Boxer dog! Wife to a honest and hard-working man, David. Daughter to parents living a retired (?) life in South Dakota, and a sister who is truly a piece of me, or I her? She is the oldest!

In addition to family life, I am working on me. Changing my diet and lifestyle decisions. Making attempts to go vegetarian. Wanting so badly to help animals world wide. I am a working woman, who quite honestly? LOVES working! I enjoy leaving my house and having another purpose outside of my home. I embrace the socializing with my co-workers, even if at times it can get rather ugly with some of them. I enjoy friends time, but I have discovered that I would rather be home in my bed! The idea of getting dressed to go out at 10:00 p.m. is not appealing to me. I am a early bird kind of gal. Okay, not that senior, but a HAPPY HOUR kind of lady FOR SURE! At the bar by 6 and hope by 9! Now that is my speed! Breakfast for dinner? HELL YEAH! I am a Jersey girl through and through, so a diner at night? FOR SURE BABY DOLL!

So as my world continues to spin, I am hanging on tight. I embrace this chaos with my whole heart and am loving every challenge coming my way. Here is to a new journey with you all! I promise to keep up this time around. Thanks for being true and if you have ANY ideas, suggestions, or interests that you would like to share with me? I would LOVE to hear from you. Let's get this blog going AGAIN!

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: A poem for my children

2017-10-19T11:47:00.001-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: A poem for my children: This is for you , my love, always.. Little boy with eyes so blue little girl how much you grew the time has flown, and with it you ha...

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Family in the distance

2017-10-16T12:16:00.001-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Family in the distance: Not sure where to begin as it has been quite sometime since I have last written in my blog. Some years have past, and I have definitely gon...

Family in the distance

2017-10-16T11:09:00.001-04:00

Not sure where to begin as it has been quite sometime since I have last written in my blog. Some years have past, and I have definitely gone through a roller coaster of emotions. I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband and two awesome kids, but sadly there are times that I long for my mom, dad, and sister. All three have moved out of our home state. My sister resides in North Carolina with her husband and kids. My parents decided that the place for them was in South Dakota. A little poem for family in the distance.

Family in the distance

My mind had dreamed of something more
my child's hand held safe in yours

Life passes us by so fast
children have grown
the present is the past

Missing my family hurts everyday
one visit I ask "will you stay?"

miles are long
distance is far
won't you come back
is a wish upon a star

A girl needs her mom
for talks and to listen
for my mom is the one I am missing

please remember that no matter the distance
our love for you is in our existence

mirror images of who you are
reflect within us
our bright and shiny star

Til we meet again, I hold you near
I miss you all. I drop a tear

May the roads between us never come to a finish
and the memories we made never diminish

I look forward to the day we stand side by side
reminiscing of our journeys
on this crazy ride

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Living through Sandy- "This use to be our Playgrou...

2012-11-04T20:18:00.001-05:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Living through Sandy- "This use to be our Playgrou...: Present day: Today, November 4, 2012, marks one week from the day my family as well as all of NJ, NY, along with neighboring states prepar...

Living through Sandy- "This use to be our Playground."

2012-11-04T20:12:00.000-05:00

Present day:

Today, November 4, 2012, marks one week from the day my family as well as all of NJ, NY, along with neighboring states prepared ourselves, for what was said to be more perfect then "the perfect storm."

The day before:

The fear was nearly paralyzing. As a parent, we put our children first. This is just a natural maternal/paternal instinct. When a parent feels helpless, we experience anxieties. These negative emotions are hidden from our children so that they feel no fear, but rather a sense of security that is rightfully theirs. However, under the circumstances we were preparing for, it was necessary to sit our children down and explain that a hurricane was on its way to our home state. They knew that we had to prepare for our house to be in disorder.

On October 29th, 2012 as the wind started to strengthen, I had such an anxious feeling. "What could we do to better prepare our home?" We did what we could the day before when walking into a grocery store and basically experiencing road rage with the use of shopping carts as people blocked aisles, and pushed you aside to get the last bottle of water.

Upon returning from my extravaganza at Shoprite, my husband stated that "filling my tank with gas" was yet another must. Once more, I ventured out and waited in lines to fill my truck. Experiencing lines of cars leading out onto main highways awaiting gas, was almost a scene out of a natural disaster movie. I realized, "We are living a nightmare."

As a true "Jersey girl" born and raised, my love for this state is proud and true. Born in 1973, I resided in Sayreville, moving onward to Laurence Harbor, then to Tinton Falls, Ocean township, and now Manchester. Closer and closer to the Jersey shore line. I, as well as my husband, have family members and friends dispersed within this state as well. People who line the shore area and others who are inland. Our worries were at home and also divided in many different directions and miles apart in New jersey as we worried about our families and friends. Minimal contact capabilities were had, and I felt fortunate for that, but for my elderly family, the use of a cell phone is a modern technology that is not understood.

The day it all began:

As the winds began to howl, the rain felt light. The rain was being swept away by the gusts of wind. Sitting next to a window was not even an option under this roof. Suddenly, the t.v. went off, lights went out, and we huddled into our living room. As the hours passed us by the darkness invited itself in with the wind and rain. We moved our coffee table out of the family room and moved in our mattresses, blankets and pillows. There was no way that this family was separating. As we sat by candlelight with our flashlights, we played games that have not been played since technology paved its way to our present and future lifestyles. During a time of darkness and fear, we managed to laugh and provide a memory of goodness from the bad. My children lived through the dark cold night in fear, but I know that their feeling of safety was there and their smiles were genuine as we played Pictionary with a flashlight, and toasted marshmallows in our wood burning stove.

The aftermath:

Memories from my childhood that bring happiness to my heart while allowing me to smile were simply that, just a memory. Venturing out to see the devastation, watching the news, seeing reports on the internet proved that Sandy was an evil, violent, force of nature. Dad did not have a lot of money for family travel, but somehow it did not matter, because New Jersey was filled with so many family fun attractions. We frequented the boardwalks, Great Adventure, Sandy Hook beach, Cheesequake Park, while venturing out on short road trips to PA for Hershey Park, the caves, and going into NY City for its museums.

My grandparents who were such a HUGE part of my life resided in Cliffwood Beach and Matawan, while aunts and uncles live in Hazlet, Union Beach, Keyport, and Edison. To say that I am not a well rounded Jersey girl would be unfounded.

Nonetheless, it is not about me and my experiences in the towns of NJ. It is about the travesty this state has taken. The beaten it took, and the defeat it shows. So many memories swept away. Peoples homes demolished, death tolls raising, and missing people still unfound. Children in Foster care awaiting a warm home and cooked meal, while the eldery and sick live in oblivion because their nursing homes have been destroyed.

I recently saw a co-worker turned friend being interviewed on a local news station. She could barely speak to the TV jounalist as they questioned her on the loss of her home, cat, and surrounding community. There were simply not enough tissues at my side to stop my tears from flowing as I listened to her speak in such a broken tone. She, along, with many others have experienced this loss. We, as a NJ family must unite and assist those who have suffered from this storm to find a sense of peace. Open our doors, donate our clothing, make a hot meal, and simply give a hug.

Moving on, I would like to touch upon New Jersey's iconinc destinations. Our boardwalks. Facebook being a popular source for people to connect can unfortunately be a place for people to engage in an argument. Recently it is politics, but even more recently it is the people at odds regarding the tragic events that Sandy placed upon our structures. Sandy manged to damage homes, bridges, and yes our boardwalks. Each piece of construction has its very own value. People need their homes, we need our bridges to provide us an obstacle for passage, and a boardwalk to create memories that will forever be cherished. I am not writing to put a value on any structure or to state that one person feeling stronger about another structure is bad. Mainly, I believe that I am trying to be the "bridge" that provides reasoning to opposite feelings and try to make them as near to even as possible.

We are all disheartened as we witness the losses to families and their homes. A home is a person's place of peace, love, solitude, and confinement. It is mainly what a person goes to work for on a daily basis. The need to make that mortgage or rent payment. Hard earned money goes directly to our homes, the furnishings, food, and utility bills. All of our hard-work is shown by the house we live in. Does not matter the size of the home or the ground it is built on, it just means, "I work for this, and I am proud of it!" I pray that these homes can be rebuilt and old memories can live in the hearts of those who lost their cherished homes, and they can make new ones under a new roof provided by all who are dedicating their time to re-build and re-store what was once your home.

As for my feelings on our iconic structures that define our wonderful state? Let me share my feelings on that subject. I take this directly from my status on Facebook. I put it in writing once, so I shall copy to my blog for those what had not read it.

From my Status on Facebook regarding our Boardwalks

While some believe that others are selfish for thinking of our boardwalks, I would just like to put a little perspective on my feelings concerning the subject: Those of us who live here and grew up frequenting the beaches and boardwalks, and now see the devastation of what once brought us joy and allowed us to escape our everyday realities are saddened to see it demolished. We acknowledge the devastation to our ocean line areas as well as our inland areas. Our boardwalks were iconic. It is what the Jersey Shore was known for, and not because of SNOOKI and the JS crew. Many childhood memories have been washed away due to an angry storm. So please, allow us to grieve our boardwalk/beaches because they are a part of who we are. In the interim, my heart truly goes out to those effected inland as well. Prayers for recovery for all effected. My deepest sincerity to NJ and NY during this time of devastation.

In closing

As I close this entry in my blog, I look back on what we all just lived through and luckily survived while others were less fortunate. I pray for those who lost their lives in this near apocalyptic type disaster. I sincerely hope that those who lost their homes can find peace in knowing that they will have a home to go to, again, someday. I pray that our children who were so scared can find strength through education as they discuss this in their classrooms amongst classmates and friends. I pray that families can come together again simply by realizing that there are things that are significantly stronger then that of an angry person holding a grudge over money borrowed or something lost. We have come to realize that life can be shortened and out of our control. Let us not take for granted the smiles that brighten our day, the hugs that comfort us, the "Hello" from an aquanitance and the laughter of a child. GOD BLESS.

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: FRIEND or FOE

2012-07-31T00:58:00.001-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: FRIEND or FOE: Friend or Foe? Wow, it sure has been awhile since I sat down to write! I do apologize to my readers for...

FRIEND or FOE

2012-07-31T00:51:00.000-04:00

Friend or Foe?

Wow, it sure has been awhile since I sat down to write! I do apologize to my readers for the delay, but quite honestly, life throws so much at an individual at once, that often times we just set things aside for a later date. My blog being one of them.
An issue that I wish to touch upon today is that of friendships. Yes, I said it (well, rather wrote it)! For some odd reason, I thought that as we aged, our friendships become easier and we become less caring of having a friend or not. However, I find that statement to be false.
I am fortunate enough to have many of friends from grade school, high school, and college still in my life. I am also fortunate to be able to say, that I have become friendly with neighbors and other mother's whose children share the same interests as my children.
One ugly truth is this: Drama. Yes ladies, "Drama!" I seem to find it no matter which way I turn. It is in the neighborhood, athletic activities, work, and still hanging strong in old friendships. Sadly, I witness the same turmoil personalities amongst children.
Hurting someone for the sake of making yourself feel better is more like bullying, but when acting self-centered and choosing to conciously keep a person with whom you truly like but feel jealous to allow another friend to like is pure & simple drama as well as rude, crude and self-centered.
As an adult, I am immune to such personalities, but as a mother, I find it difficult to witness my child being friendly with an egocentric person. Make no mistake while reading this. I for one, am fully aware that my children are no angels, but I know that I have raised them to the best of my capabilities, and part of their structure is to have manners, courtesy, respect and treat your friends as equals.
However, these words seem mute. No matter how much you instill a value of compassion into your child, they have to test all personalities to see what it truly feels like to be in all shoes. Which personality is best suitable to their being and managed with comfort to their environment. I have learned who I feel most comfortable being in my skin, and I assume that the same will come of my children. As a parent, I recognize that they are not me, but that they are a small part of me and my husband, they are individuals. I cannot mold them into who I want them to be or wish for them to become. I can only stand by with my best advice.
Through the struggles, I must be their voice of reason, shoulder to cry on, and back bone to re-build their courage and confidence. I must teach them to solve a problem, and not run from it. It is a scary world, and even scarier when your friends are truly not who they claim to be. Is it true" "TRUST NO ONE?" I do not believe so, but I do believe that you do not openly trust until trust is gained.

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: BULLY

2012-04-26T13:34:00.001-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: BULLY: If I were a Bully, I would shout real loud So loud, I am heard over a crowd A crowd of kind people with nice words to say I wou...

BULLY

2012-04-26T13:32:00.000-04:00

If I were a Bully, I would shout real loud

So loud, I am heard over a crowd

A crowd of kind people with nice words to say

I would look at them with an evil face

Show disgust & walk away

Why speak nice to me?

I am mean wouldn’t you agree?

I like to push the people who cannot push back

The people who love to hug, I love to attack

The kids who want to be my friend

I don’t care, I like mean words, love to offend

Everyday you try

You will just say “Hi”

I will threaten to give you a black eye

Raised with values by your mom and dad

I could care less, I like to feel mad

I am a bully proud and true

I am a bully with you I’ll argue

Someday I will be big and strong

I will always be right-never be wrong

So what if I hurt you by a push or a shove

You will run home to cry for extra love

You have many friends who like to play

I will go home and plot to betray

Happy I am not- I am a bully

In case you have forgot

Run away with tears you shed

You have love in your heart

I have hate in my head

For hurting you with words, I will get in trouble

Be sure I will be back, make that a double

I will act out for attention

School will give me detention

I do not care, did I forget to mention?

Alone in my room

Dark house filled with gloom

I am a kid in size

I am a monster in your eyes

If I were a Bully…

Frances M. Curto

"I am a GIRL!"

2012-04-26T13:26:00.000-04:00

I am girl from head to toe

I play with makeup

I let my hair grow

I polish my nails

I love fairytales

I sing really loud

I cheer for a crowd

I am a girl with a pretty smile

I laugh, I cry, I have an idol

I am a girl who Mommy adores

Even when I am mad, act out, and slam doors!

It is said that we are born of “sugar and spice

and all that is nice”

We listen with kindness

We give loving advice

I am Daddy’s little girl

I cheer, I dance, I jump, I twirl

I am a big sister to a little brother

A boy whom I cherish unlike any other

I am a girl who will wear a dress

I also know how to make a mess!

I am a girl who cherishes her friends

Not one is more precious, they all are gems

I am a girl with big brown eyes

I am who I am

That is no surprise

I am a girl proud and true

My favorite color is purple

For some it may be blue

I am a GIRL who has feelings so strong

I am a GIRL, in this world I belong!

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Do the Easter "HOP!"

2012-04-03T10:25:00.001-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Do the Easter "HOP!": A Mommy's Easter Hop dance for her kids. HAPPY EASTER TO MY FRIENDS & FAMILY! Easter is about the religion and the fun The Easter bunn...

Do the Easter "HOP!"

2012-04-03T10:00:00.000-04:00

A Mommy's Easter Hop dance for her kids. HAPPY EASTER TO MY FRIENDS & FAMILY!

Easter is about
the religion and the fun
The Easter bunny "HOP" has just begun

Hop one step back-
Take it to the floor
Hide the easter eggs
Eat some sugar-GALORE!

Round & Round
Spin your cotton tail
Color some eggs
then leave a jelly bean trail

Hop one step back-
Take it to the floor
Hide the Easter eggs
then sing "I WANT MORE!"

Awake to a basket filled with sweets
Oh Mom & Dad, "I need more treats!"
Sugar high, sugar low
The Easter Bunny truly does know
He knows what the kids eat
it is not always sweet
but on this day - the kids say
"I wish Easter was EVERYDAY!"

Take one Hop back
take it to the floor
"Thanks Easter Bunny, it's you I adore!"

Written by: Frances Curto 04/03/2012 for the kids

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Dedicated To my 1st Boxer love (BUSTER)

2012-03-09T12:33:00.001-05:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Dedicated To my 1st Boxer love (BUSTER): Twinkle, twinkle bright white star How I wonder who you are my kids say it is you I only hope that this is true I miss you more then I c...

Dedicated To my 1st Boxer love (BUSTER)

2012-03-09T11:07:00.000-05:00

Twinkle, twinkle bright white star
How I wonder who you are
my kids say it is you
I only hope that this is true
I miss you more then I can say
everyday for you I pray

Some people think it was "just a pet"
to me, you were a life I shall never forget
I tried my best to ease your pain
no medicine in this world for your health to gain

Your memory lives within my heart
years together now a lifetime apart
We will meet again in the glory of the sun
we'll play together, and enjoy our fun

Your blanket is still in my room
I hold it near to feel your here
Your protection over me was so strong
I miss your strength, for you I long

Gone but not forgotten
I will cherish you always
fly over us with wings of grace
until someday I see your face

Keep shining that big white light
I look at you every night
Tears still flow down my face
memories I will always embrace

A new little life shall enter this door
not a replacement but child number four!
Look over him as he will be scared
and remember your two lives are not compared

You were my 1st Boxer love
proud and true
Buster Curto, I miss You!

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Life we once knew

2011-08-19T22:47:00.000-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Life we once knew: I looked upon a start tonight I prayed to God, I'd see your light Many stars twinkled in the sky But not one sparkle could hear my cry ...

Life we once knew

2011-08-19T22:44:00.000-04:00

I looked upon a start tonight
I prayed to God, I'd see your light
Many stars twinkled in the sky
But not one sparkle could hear my cry

I turned to walk away
and thought "maybe another day"
I miss your smiles, your laughter, and face
I miss it all, this is a disgrace

I have so many questions, none to be heard
Maybe you hear me or is that to absurd?
I wonder, are you with me now
if so, then how
Are you in the air that I breath
the thought that arises in my head
or is it my need to have you instead?
Time is passing and yet I feel no better
I sit down and write. I write you a letter

Where do I send it? To Heaven above
The address unknown of a person I love

Thoughts of you run through my mind
Thoughts of anger that you left me behind
I tried, I was true but whatever had happened
only you knew

My wish for you is that your hurt no more
My wish for me is that you would walk through my door

Sad yet true, this life I knew
has changed forever because of you.

I'll never stand beside you again
but I will always wonder when
When will I see your face and hold your hand
When can we laugh? never on this land

I will meet you in a light
you will guide me through
we may then sit together reminiscing of the life we once knew

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: You will smile again

2011-08-18T01:44:00.000-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: You will smile again: Recently, people close to me & who have touched my life, have endured a great loss. As many of my followers know, I have not written in my b...

You will smile again

2011-08-18T01:35:00.000-04:00

Recently, people close to me & who have touched my life, have endured a great loss. As many of my followers know, I have not written in my blog for quite some time. This loss has driven me to write again. I express myself best through writing, and I feel that the departure of a loved one warrants me to hit the keyboard & start expressing my thoughts on this subject.

We all have lost a loved one. A loved one can be a parent, child, sibling, and to some of us? A pet. No matter the entity, the loss is painful. The pain is numbing. Seems so wrong to use the words pain and numb in the same sentence, as they are completely opposite. However, the pain can be so excruciating that our bodies take over for our minds, and it tries to heal itself by blocking the truth. We hurt so bad, that we do not want to feel the pain any longer. We shut down like a machine.

I am not quite sure how our coping mechanism works, but somehow, with time, that bodily function, forces us to face the truth, re-live it, and dares us to move ahead while looking back and being able to giggle without guilt. When someone moves on to their resting place, we do not move on. We stand frozen, and look back. We cannot move ahead because more often then not? Closure was never there. The death is sudden and unexpected. In some cases, the departure is expected and not fully taken as a reality until after the fact. We are forced to go on with our lives with the NEED to have said goodbye, so we pray. We sit in our homes, alone in a room, and talk to the air in great hope that our lost one is a presence in that room and s/he is listening. You look for signs. A light to flicker, a picture to fall, or a gentle touch felt on our shoulder. This does not happen, and then we break yet again. We must believe in our hearts, that their is an after-life, and we will reunite again. We must believe that our loved one has taken on a new form, and is with us. Maybe as a beautiful butterfly, or an added star in the night sky. Maybe the gentle breeze on a hot day or the warm sun on a cool day. I believe that we are united in our own unique way when we are bonded by blood, so if no new form takes over, our hearts grow a little bigger, and a piece of them lives on within us.

May the person who suffers, find peace
May the peace in Gods heaven take away the pain on earth
May loved ones reunite in a kingdom one can only dream about
In a world so large and so powerful, something greater must exist
We must suffer to become stronger
We must cry so that we can feel the pleasure in our laugh
We must remember the past to focus on the future
We must let go of what we can no longer hold
We must allow others in, so the hurt can exit
Forgive yourself if you said something you regret
Forgive the dying for leaving us
Forget the wrong-doings, for they cannot be changed
And remember...
you will smile. Someday, I do not know when, but you will smile.

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Memorial Day 2011

2011-05-29T20:46:00.000-04:00

Mommy Wars-Battles Be GONE!: Memorial Day 2011: "God Bless our Soldiers. Remember them in your hearts & cherish them in your minds."

Memorial Day 2011

2011-05-29T20:40:00.000-04:00

God Bless our Soldiers. Remember them in your hearts & cherish them in your minds.