Mommy Wisdom Circle ™: Where moms in Washington, DC, MD and VA connect

2014-02-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, March 1, 2014 at THE ARC in Washington, DC there will be a free educational event for ages 5 to 13. Pursuing A Dream Corporation (PADC) is a nonprofit organization that encourages students to follow their career aspirations. This event will focus on teaching students about various career occupations that exist in under represented areas such as: science, technology, engineering and math (STEM). Students will get the chance to wear costumes, win prizes, receive a free balloon, do hands on activities and learn more about occupations in areas related to STEM. Come and join the fun! If interested then go to the website for more details www.pursuingadreamcorp.org.

We're Moving and Switching the Format. Will you follow?

2011-12-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

Hi:

After much contemplation and debating over a proper blog format, I’ve decided to delete this page here on Blogger and move over to Wordpress. The wordpress page will ONLY serve as a platform for posting Mommy Wisdom Circle events. I intend to create additional pages for my mom chatter (smile). Hope you’ll move to the new page with me. It can be found here

http://mommywisdomcircle.wordpress.com/.

Note, if you’re in the DC area, please join us for a Meetup.

Sunday Post: Age Is Just A Number

2011-12-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

It seems as if it were just yesterday that my doctor looked at me and said, “Congratulations, your pregnant”. I recall vividly the expression of happiness that came across my husband’s face while I was having an inner moment of overwhelming joy. Already having a 5 year old son, we were both excited about the idea of expanding our family.

We let three months pass before we decided to share the news with family and friends as wanted to ensure that we were in the “safe zone”. Well, upon sharing the news, it was met with more questions than congratulations - questions such as: “ Are you seriously pregnant?”; “Why did you two wait so long?”; “Was this a mistake?”; “Did you two plan to have a child five years later?”; “What will you tell your son?”; “How will you prepare him?”. These questions were popping up faster than I could process them, let alone respond. I know (at least I want to believe) that many of these questions came from a place of surprise and not malicious intent.

For years, most of us have been conditioned to believe that couples should plan to have children within 1-2 year intervals and the fact that I was having a child five years later was just wrong (in theory). So, when I was questioned instead of congratulated, I couldn’t hold anyone’s words as an action of the heart, but a mere shift in what their mind was programmed to believe.

During my pregnancy journey, my husband and I explained (and constantly reinforced ) to our son that the well of love in our home never runs dry no matter how large our unit becomes. And, guess what, he was old enough and mentally mature enough to understand our words and accept our teachings.

When we welcomed our now 7 week old daughter, our son was (and still is) her biggest fan. He was happy and proud that not only we have an extra addition to our family, but he now has a new title, Big Brother – a title that he owns up to in his actions. I’ve never seen someone so young be so caring and compassionate – it truly warms my heart.

For anyone who has questioned whether or not it’s wise to have significant age gaps between siblings, I’d like to think that I’m living proof that it can work and work well.

The key is to remember that things don’t have to happen the way that they are written in text books or shaped in the manner that we were taught. If my husband and I planned our family based upon societal norms, we may have missed out on an opportunity to hone in on our son’s inner leader characteristics and lost the opportunity to add another love joy to our home and heart.

At the end of the day, we must do what we feel is best for our own lives and let the results write the story for us to hand down to our children and their children’s children.

*** This article was composed by Patrice Jones-Washington. Its content is original work of the author.

Sunday Post :: Our children are our biggest imitators

2011-12-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

James Arthur Baldwin once said, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."

This week, I was reminded that children are our biggest imitators and its up to us to show them the "right" things to do.

While on my mom-cation (aka maternity leave) I couldn't stop admiring my little bundle. I'd wake up every morning and take pictures of her, mostly with the built in camera on my blackberry as it was usually the closest form of a camera within reach. Well, one day while browsing the internet, I came across some really neat newborn photos - you know the ones with really cool props -- and it hit me, I can do this with my baby. So, I impulsively went out and purchased a Nikon DSLR camera and began taking pics. But, something happened, when I began taking pictures, I noticed that mine didn't have that flair that most of the pictures had that I viewed on the internet. As a matter of fact, the pictures taken from my blackberry actually looked better. And, in true Patrice ADHD fashion, I tossed the camera to the side and found a new project (I signed up for salsa lessons).

Well, my six year old son who became fascinated with my DSLR when I purchased it, has decided to retrieve it from the proverbial corner in which it was tossed and make good of it. He's mastering its features and has become a mini photographer in his own right. I love watching him find objects in our home to photograph and edit using the cameras editing features. Watching him hone a skill that I wanted to learn all because he watched me play with it for a day or so, makes me remember just how impressionable children can be. Plus, the $642.00 bucks that I spent on the camera didn't go to waste.

I share this post as a reminder that we must be careful of our actions because the little people in our homes are watching. In the future, I will commit to being a finisher and not a starter.

A DJ Might Save My Life Tonight

2011-12-03T18:08:00.001-08:00

I think a DJ might be saving my life tonight. I'm trying on shoes which means I want to go out - you know, kid free and loud music!! I feel like I've earned one of those types of nights. Let's do the math, pregnant for 42 weeks (baby girl was overdue); maternity leave for 12 weeks - solely caring for baby girl and now back in corporate America. I didn't really enjoy many "me" moments within the last few months. I think I've earned a day out. You do the math. What do you think?

Fashion Files :: Feel Bad/ Look Good

2011-12-02T16:56:00.001-08:00

Today, I feel like crap. I have a terrible cold, my newborn has a cold and my son can't stop babbling. This week, I'm averaging a now total of 13 hours of sleep and I still have to bring a cheerful spirit to my work in corporate America.

I never said being a new mom is easy, but we don't have to look bad because we feel bad.

In the midst of my stuffy nose and sore throat, I threw on (literally threw on) a wrap dress, necklace, black tights and a pair of knee boots. This fit was fast and effortless, yet looked like I cared -- and today, I didn't want to care.

This week, I've been sharing my words of new mom fashion wisdom. I hope these short, easy fashion solutions are helpful. As always, your pearls of wisdom are appreciated and accepted.

Fashion Files :: Fashion Forward Mommy (It's all about the sheath dress)

2011-12-01T14:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was running on 3 hrs of sleep – this week, I’m averaging a combined total of about 9 hrs. I came up with this look in less than 15 minutes. The sheath dress was already pressed, the jacket was cotton & spandex, so I didn’t have any ironing to worry about and I just pulled the look together with a pair of boots and a multi-colored necklace.

Looking fabulous as a new mom doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice time – It’s a matter of creativity.

Remember to share your new mom fashion wisdom.

The Power of a Power Nap

2011-12-01T11:06:00.001-08:00

Today is one of those days where I can barely keep my eyes open. You know, the type of day that started at 2am when your newborn wakes up hungry and wet and doesn’t go to sleep until 4:45am when you have to wake up at 5. < --- I know this is a run on sentence, but I’m too tired to even fix it. You understand, right?!?!

Now that I’m back in the workforce, I can no longer follow the new mom rule that says, “sleep when the baby sleeps”, but I’ve learned that I can take a power nap during my lunch break!! While on my scheduled lunch break today, I said forget the lunch time hot dog and chips, pass me a pillow and a blanket. Luckily, the organization that I work for has a Nurse unit where employees who aren’t feeling well can take a moment to be examined and rest if necessary in one of the assigned resting rooms. On this day, I was that employee who needed the rest break and I have to say that after my power nap, I felt like an entirely new woman. I felt fully energized and ready to finish the day strong.

New moms, how do you catch up on rest missed from caring for your new baby? Please share your pearls of wisdom.

My Pearls of Wisdom on Dating as New Parents

2011-11-30T18:21:00.001-08:00

Let's face it. When you become a parent, things sometimes change in the relationship department. Quality time together becomes a moment shared with a baby in between the two of you. While I'm a huge advocate of family, I'm also a believer in keeping the spice your relationship -- you know, the relationship that you had before children.

Now, that my husband and I are parents of a 2mos old and 6 year old, we both agreed that the key to happiness for all of us was in creating balance. Planning date days and evenings on occassion are necessary in achieving that balance. And, while sitters may be hard to find, you can always make time for date breakfast or lunch when the kids are at school or daycare.

My husband and I have declared Monday, date day. Every Monday, we manage to find a nice restaurant and enjoy good cuisine while holding hands. It brings us back to a place of dating and intimacy before kids. For us, it helps in achieving a happy balance.

How do you achieve balance in your world?

Wordless Wednesday:: I strive to be the BEST role model!

2011-11-30T09:29:00.000-08:00

Fashion Files :: Dresses and accessories—a new moms best friend (Day 2)

2011-11-29T10:48:00.001-08:00

As I expressed here, now that I’m a mom of two, my personal time is limited and at the mercy of my little ones.

However, this is no excuse to trade in your pumps and pencil skirts for the PTO and mom-jeans (disclaimer : I have NOTHING against the PTO – I’m actually on one). Having returned to corporate America yesterday and very little time to lend to styling myself, I’ve found that dresses and accessories are a moms best friend.

Today, I was dressed in less than 10 minutes and achieved a fashion forward look.

Here I wore a simple dress, but I layered it with a long cardigan, thick black tights and knee boots.

For my hair, I took about 15 minutes to spiral curl a few beach waves and my makeup only consisted of face powder and a eye shadow. All in all, I spent about 30 minutes (post shower) to pull a look together and get out of the door with two kids and tons of bags – smile.

For this mom of two – dresses and accessories have become my fashion lifesaver.

Staples to Survive the SAHM to WM transition

2011-11-29T07:37:00.001-08:00

This week, most of my postings will be centered around transitioning from a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) to a Working Mom (WM). The postings will be short, but great tips for other parents in transition.

Prior to returning to work, I knew that I wanted to have some professional images taken of my baby girl to be added to the collection of family photos in my workspace. For those of you who know me personally, you’re already aware of my need to plan things out way in advance. So, in true Patrice planning style, I researched vintage baby clothing and accessory designers and searched for the best photographers in the Washington DC area when my baby was just a few weeks old (okay, during my 9^th month of pregnancy).

Well, this is what you get when you pair a visionary mother, with an awesome designer and the best photographer in the DMV {see image}. My baby’s outfit was a true vision of everything that was depicted in my head.

Credits :: Stacy Johnson of London Blue Designs is the amazing creator of the top hat and outfit. The beauty of this image was captured by Tosha Francis of the Captured Life Photography. Ms. Francis is a wonderful photographer in the Washington DC area and is known for her ability to capture individuals like no other.

Seeing this picture during the 9-5 hours allows me to smile while working hard for the money.

Now, Mommies, share your wisdom on how you transitioned from being a SAHM to a WM?

Fashion Files :: My Very Important Baby's (VIB) first day of school debut.

2011-11-29T06:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks for returning :). My 2mos old baby girl looked quite adorable yesterday and can you believe that her entire outfit cost less than $25 -- including shoes and accessories.

I wanted to go for a more fashion forward yet comfortable look for her first day entering an early learning center, so I went with option #2 from Saturdays post which can be found here.

Here's the skinny (well, in my baby's case, "the chunky") on my baby girl's first day of school outfit.

Dark chocolate cardigan is by Carters (caught it a bargain department store for about $8);
Dark denim *jeggings are from the Children's Place (purchased on sale online for about $9)
White fitted t-shirt (not featured here) found at TJ Maxx for around $4
Leopard booties (the outfits statement piece) are handmade and designed just for my baby by her grandmother (my mother) who is hands down AMAZING on the sewing machine. The cost of fabric and supplies for the booties exclusively was nothing as leftover fabric was used from another project.
Featured here are two headbands because the morning of dressing my baby, I wasn't sure which one worked best, but I ended up going with the crochet headband as I felt the color of the brown paired better with the overall look and not too mention, the flower headband is one that my little girl will wear often. The crochet headband was purchased from Amazon.com for about $1.50.

So, what do you think? Did my 2month VIB (Very Important Baby) rock the infant room on her first day of school or what? Please share your fashion wisdom.
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*Jeggings: A cross between a pair of jeans and leggings. In short, they look like jeans, but are soft and stretchy like leggings. Jeggings are perfect for babies -- always remember comfort when dressing babies and children.

Fashion Files :: Fashion Forward Mommy

2011-11-28T19:18:00.001-08:00

Now that I'm a mother of two, I have to find quick ways to maintain my personal fashion style while still being comfortable. The best way for me to achieve comfort and fashion is by wearing dresses, heavily accessorizing and cute shoes.

Attached is what I wore upon my return to corporate America today. This outfit was very simple, stylish and afforded me enough time to dress my two month old diva doll.

Oh, I failed to mention that everything that I'm wearing (dress, necklace and shoes cost less that $70 combined).

How do you maintain your fashion forward style without compromising comfort and emptying your wallet?

Please share your fashion wisdom.

Sunday Post: Adjusting To Post Baby Body!

2011-11-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

After giving birth to my daughter 11 weeks ago, I'm learning to adjust to my post pregnancy body.

Last week, I went to Target in search of Christmas socks for the kids and I stumbled into the women's clothing area. While there, I came across this adorable black and white checkered skirt by Merona (seen here - poor lighting from my smart phone). It was a size 4 and we all know I haven't seen a size four since I was in the 8th grade, but miraculously it fit. A little snug, but doable with a pair of black tights.

My post pregnancy body this time around has been easy to adjust to - my hips have expanded, but I accept them as a badge of honor for being a carrier of life (this is the ONLY way I can truly accept them -- chuckles).

After giving birth to my son six years ago, I had a very hard time getting used to my post pregnancy body. During my pregnancy, I'd gone from an approximate weight of 140lbs to a near 200lbs and my son only attributed to 7 of those pounds. Needless to say that after giving birth, I was still very much overweight (I'm 5'5 1/2 feet tall) and I had a hard time adjusting.

What I've learned from being a 20something mom adjusting to a new body and a now 30something mom is that life isn't always perfect, but the key is to see beyond the imperfections and to be happy. Wide hips and all, I'm happy because in the end, the pros outweigh the cons.

I'd like to hear from you. After giving birth, how did you accept your post pregnancy body? Please share.

Fashion Files :: My Very Important Baby's (VIB) debut

2011-11-26T13:14:00.001-08:00

My 2mos old starts school on Mon;which fit will she wear? Maybe the first one or maybe none. Check back in on Tuesday to see how my VIB {Very Important Baby} rocked the #infant room.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Wise Mommies (and Dads). On this day (and every day), I'm thankful to share my world with you via this blog and for having the conviction to follow my hearts desires. Wishing all of you a happy day of thanksgiving.

Wordless Wednesday :: There's is NO one in this world holding your feet. You control your destiny.

2011-11-23T18:54:00.001-08:00

10 things no one told you about work-life balance with kids

2011-11-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, today's kickoff meeting had to be canceled, but the theme, "Creating balance: Learn how to live a full life while raising a child." couldn't have been more appropriate as the cancellation was largely due to failure to create balance between other obligations.

Later today, I intend to share tips that I intend to implement in order to strike a fine balance between personal and professional obligations.

In the interim, I'm sharing an article from TODAY Moms that I enjoyed and is focused on balance. Enjoy!

********************************

10 things no one told you about work-life balance with kids

By Laura T. Coffey, TODAYshow.com contributor
Work-life balance? With kids?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

If you work outside the home and you’re anything like me, you too may have fleeting thoughts of “Ha!” and “Oh brother!” and “What-EVER!” whenever you see reassuring articles about attaining work-life balance as a parent. I say that, and I’ve even written an article or two like that myself. (Although, in my defense, I did try to make those articles uber-practical ... but still!)

The longer I try my hand at this whole parenting gig, the more clearly I see that any illusion of control I have is just that: An illusion. It may be possible to wrest a few things under control some of the time with some hard-core planning and scheduling, but for the most part it’s just a matter of taming chaos on a day-to-day, take-it-as-it-comes basis.

My best friend Dawn Browne -- a mom who has two fabulous kids and a high-pressure job -- summed it up perfectly, I think:

“There is no such thing as balance with children -- only days with blood and/or tears, and days without (including your own),” she said. “Conservatively plan for no bloodless or tearless days for the first five years.”

Here’s another one of my favorite gems from Dawn:

“There’s a fine line between ‘working better under pressure’ and mental illness.”
Indeed!

Bearing all that in mind, here is a list of 10 things no one bothered to tell you about work-life balance before you became a parent. Read on -- if you dare!

1. You will always, always, ALWAYS be tired and always will feel as though you could lie down and sleep for 15 hours straight.

2. Sleep deprivation will lead to a brain-crushing haze that will cause your sharp mind to fade for a minimum of one calendar year, and possibly even longer -– but you’ll have to fake it and pretend nothing is wrong around other people at work.

3. Sleep deprivation also will create in you a strange and inexplicable spelling disorder that will cause you to use the wrong “to,” “your” and “its,” despite your most careful intentions. You’ll also start to spell some words phonetically -- and wildly incorrectly -- all because you’re trying to do too many things at once in much too much of a hurry.

4. While it’s always been mega-challenging on all sorts of levels, work outside the home will become the biggest, most gargantuan, most Herculean effort you ever tackled. You will feel like you completed the Ironman in Kona, Hawaii at the end of most otherwise ordinary work weeks. (Not that I have ANY idea what completing the Ironman in Kona feels like, mind you -- but I watched a documentary about it recently and identified with it in the most uncanny way.)

5. When your children are very small, finding decent child care will be one of the primary reasons that work is such a big, gargantuan, Herculean effort. The stress and angst involved in your quest for quality child care will consume you and keep you awake at night.

6. You will only be able to claim $3,000 of child-care expenses on your taxes for the year, even if you must spend about $12,000 (or even more, in some cases) on care for one child in order to be a productive member of the work force.

7. After your pregnancy, you will have to spend precious time and money scrounging up at least some new work clothes for at least some stretch of time because it likely will take much, much longer than you ever expected to lose the pregnancy weight. (Shut up, Gisele Bündchen and Octomom!) Even if/when you do lose it, a “shifting” will occur and your old clothes may never fit quite the same way again.

8. Just when a real rhythm seems to set in and you finally feel mildly in control, your child will throw up all over his or her daycare provider/preschool instructor/elementary school teacher.

9. The throw-up incident will spark a frantic flurry of messages via e-mail or instant messaging or cell-phone texts between you and your significant other over which person should leave work to pick up the sick child and take him or her to the pediatrician. This negotiation will not be easy because both of you are already worried about how you look at work. (Re-read points 1, 2, 3 and 4.)

10. All of that said, no matter how tired you are, no matter how hard work is, and no matter how ill-fitting your pants feel, becoming a parent is the best thing you’ve ever done -- period.
(Photo credit: Dawn Browne. Photo caption: That’s a snapshot of my buddy Dawn’s work space at her home in Everett, Wash. She e-mailed it to me with this note: “Geez ... why am I so tired? And yes, that’s a diaper on the floor.”)

Related links:

{Save the Date} Mommy Wisdom Circle - Fall Kickoff Event

2011-10-22T12:19:00.001-07:00

You’re invited to “Names and Noodles™” {the fall kickoff event for the Mommy Wisdom Circle (MWC)™}

Names and Noodles™ is an introductory meeting for all moms who are a part of the MWC. Since this is our first outing together, we will receive name tags and become acquainted with one another and our little one(s).

Each MWC meeting will be centered on a specific topic that deals with motherhood. For instance, at this meeting we will discuss:

“Creating balance: Learn how to live a full life while raising a child.”

Where: Noodles and Company located in the Bowie Town Center
Address: 3916 Town Center. Blvd. -Bowie MD

Why: Because moms need to have a creative space where they can enjoy girl talk and their children simultaneously.

When: Saturday, November 5th

Time: 1-2:30pm

This is our official fall kick-off event for what will be a successful quarterly series of mom and child fun.