Mommy With Selective Memory

5 Reasons I Try Not to Yell (Very Often)

2013-05-13T05:12:00.001-07:00

I don't know about you, but I love to feel inspired. I love it when someone can give me solid reasons to improve myself. So that gave me an idea. Lately I have noticed that yell less and I think it's mainly because as a blogger, I have done a lot of research on parenting styles, so I began to compile a list of the 5 Reasons that I try not to lose it with the kids. I don't always succeed, I'm not perfect. Sometimes I scream at the top of my lungs and they cower in fear and promise to stop pestering each other. But lately I've been doing better and here is why:
5 Reasons I Try (But Don't Always Succeed) Not to Yell

There is scientific evidence that says that Moms who are more nurturing and have more patience have smarter kids in the long run. I am very much of a goal-oriented person, so it helps me feel that I am doing something scientifically positive when I take a deep breath and force myself to follow through with a reasonable punishment instead of yelling.
There is more scientific evidence that yelling can be almost as bad as hitting, in terms of emotional scarring down the road.
Yelling is mean. I haven't had someone scream at me in years. I would NEVER scream at my husband so why would I scream at my kids, who are a lot more vulnerable? Bottom line is that I always feel guilty after I yell and I feel crummy for hours if not days. Why not try to avoid that if I can?
Yelling is far more effective if done rarely. Yes, I truly think sometimes kids need to know that what they have done will not be tolerated. I remember the rare times my parents yelled at me it was very effective. But just like anything else, if overused, yelling loses all benefits.
When I think about the kind of parent I want to be, and the kind of relationship I want to have with my kids, it never involves my yelling and them being scared and resentful of me. I want them to be respectful and not bratty of course, and that means effective discipline, but I want them to also think I am reasonable and they can talk to me about things in the future, when life gets more complicated. After all, I think there is a lot of truth to the saying, "Little Kids, Little Problems. Big Kids, Big Problems." Maybe, just maybe, if I have a good partnership with my kids by the time they're teen-agers, I can prevent bigger problems. With teen drug use on the rise, it's worth the effort.

I hope this has inspired you the way it inspired me. If not, don't feel guilty and don't yell at me. Every person and every child is different.

For other ideas on how to avoid yelling at your little ones and try to find positive ways to encourage and spend time with them, I hope you'll check out my book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn!

Cleaning Chart for Tired Zombie-Cleaning Mommies

2013-05-01T19:11:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like a cleaning zombie. I just walk around all day in a haze, cleaning up everything in my path. By the time I get the kitchen cleaned up, I turn around and realize the kids have pulled all the toys out of the cabinet. By the time we get all those cleaned up, my daughter has decided it's time to change her outfit and pulled out all the clothes. Generally I ask them to help, but even when they agree to help it's sort of like using a small cocktail napkin to clean up a gallon of milk. It's just not going to cut it.
So, imagine my surprise when I came home the other day and my sitter told me that my daughter had helped her clean up the house. And she gave me that look that said, "Truly, she really did help this time." It turns out that my sitter made a chart for her that worked wonders! She took the time to explain everything to her and drew the pictures and then allowed her to check things off when she completed them. That was the trick I think...my daughter really enjoyed being able to check off that she completed the task.
I really loved this idea because it helped improved her self-esteem by helping her realize how helpful she could truly be, and then I got to kick my feet up and return from zombie-land for a short time.

I hope you'll consider checking out my book, co-authored by best-selling author Susan Case! It is called The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn. If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you!

Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom! You can hear us talk about this theory in this interview about the book:

Experiment Part #2 - How I Got My Toddler to Eat (and Like) Green Onions

2013-04-11T05:05:00.004-07:00

As many of you know, I went on a mission a few weeks ago to cure my kids of the following bad habits:
1. Refusing to try new stuff that I went to all the trouble to make (which really irritated me since I had to referee fights and try to keep them alive while I cooked this "new" meal). 2. Uttering the phrase, "Mommy I'm hungry" every fifteen minutes, all day long, even after we just ate breakfast three minutes prior 3. Not eating enough vegetables
So, in my last post about this, I revealed how I got my daughter to start helping me cook and how it totally changed the evening. Instead of feeling like I was fighting a battle while I cooked dinner, I actually enjoyed it. My daughter did too, and she even was more adventurous with trying the meal since she had helped me make it.
Next, I decided to tackle the fruits and vegetables issue. Again, I was truly amazed at the results. This picture says it all:

This is a photo of my three year old, eating and enjoying green onions. Here is how it happened. I was letting them help me make dinner and green onions were part of the recipe. My little guy asked if he could try them. My initial reaction was to say, "No, you won't like those, just hand them over."
But then I took a step back and remembered what the book taught me. It's all about the process. So, I said, "Sure, go ahead!" I was amazed when he said, "Mommy, these are good!"
He proceeded to eat the ENTIRE stalk of green onions. And this is a kid who doesn't even like carrots. Now all of a sudden he like raw green onions???
Next, the Edamame was finished and again the kids asked if they could try it. I had intended to save it for dinner, but again I told them it was okay and I looked over a couple minutes later and saw Big Sis popping those edamame out of their shells and handing them to her little brother and even feeding him like he was a little hungry birdie.

Lastly, Little Buddy did the dishes for me (Yes, I had to change his shirt because he got himself a little wet, but I still appreciated his help all the same)

This "cooking project" has been going on for over a month now and the kids haven't lost interest yet. I believe there are a few reasons that my experiments have worked so well:
1. They get to stand on their own stools during the entire process 2. I have been very willing to let them do things I wouldn't normally do (like peeling carrots by themselves...normally I would have thought that was way too sharp of an object, but I supervised carefully and they totally proved me wrong) 3. I made it fun...fun for them AND fun for me!
My last Experiment will be to update you on how I eliminated snacking...stay tuned!!
PS...thanks to all of you who bought my book while it was on sale this week...I'm proud to say that we got up to #1 in the Parenting Category and Susan and I were thrilled!

Sale! $0.99 for The Happy Mommy Handbook through April 9th!

2013-04-07T19:01:00.002-07:00

For the first time ever, The Happy Mommy Handbook is on sale! $0.99 (Instead of the normal price of $3.99) for 2 days now being offered through April 9th. You can purchase the ebook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kobo.
If you have been enjoying my blog, you'll love this book. We will inspire you to have more fun with your daily life with your kids. Yes, it's tough to stay patient with little kids, but I teamed up with Kindergarten Teacher, Susan Case, to give you ideas on how to keep your kids busy and also help them learn at the same time! Here is a book review that really explains it all:
"This book seriously saved my sanity. I've read a bunch of parenting books but this is literally the only one that actually gave me real and specific advice and ideas for things to do with my daughter. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year old and I was at my wits end trying to come up with ideas of fun, easy, creative things to do with her that will keep her busy and occupied and help her learn. I wasn't very good at following through on ideas that I heard about from friends or read in other books or online because they seemed too complicated (aka: messy!) but this book broke it down and made it so simple. I highly recommend it!"

I hope you'll check out this book...I would really appreciate your support and don't forget if you've read it, we can really use all the good book reviews we can get on Amazon and B&N!

Tricking My Toddler into Using Fine Motor Skills

2013-03-21T19:10:00.001-07:00

There was a short time ago that my little buddy would do any project I wanted him to do. But then he became a quintessential boy, meaning that he now wants to spend all his time playing football, chasing the dog, and pestering his big sister. Unfortunately I've noticed that he could really use some help with his fine motor skills. He holds his crayon in a fist, which is exactly what big sister did until I worked with her. She is totally cured now though, and I attribute it all to our little "projects".
So, I've decided I needed to get even more creative with fine motor action. I found an old coffee can and told him we were going to make animals. He chose to make a green bird (his favorite color), which he had a great time creating.

After he was done, I then gave him a bunch of poms and asked him to "feed" his bird. He happily agreed and started out with the tongs. I know for certain that if he didn't get to feed a bird, he would have just walked away to find his football, but I tricked him into working on his fine motor control, so I was thrilled!

He even got bored with the tongs and we graduated to tweezers, which is the first time he has been able to make that happen. Just look at those little hands working their magic!

For more ideas on improving fine motor skills with your preschoolers and toddlers, please check out my book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn. If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you! We give you a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that you can do activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity. Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!

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An Experiment for Picky Eaters and Fed-Up Moms

2013-03-11T18:20:00.003-07:00

I have many talents, but cooking isn't one of them. I can't tell you how many times I will make dinner, try to feed it to them, and then inevitably about 10 minutes after we're done they will say, "Mommy, I'm hungry! Can I have some cereal?"

My kids have always been picky eaters but lately things started to get really out of control. Here are some of our bad habits:

They snacked often throughout the day, and I let them, as long as it was healthy like cheese, fruit, or yogurt.
Since I'm not a great cook, I knew they wouldn't want to eat what I made. Instead, I often just made them chicken nuggets or frozen lasagna. Plus, they often had to eat before Daddy got home since he got home late, so I would just wait and eat with Daddy too
They often wouldn't even try what I made if it looked bad
I didn't exactly make them eat enough vegetables. Fruits? Yep! Vegetables? Not so much

However, I was at the book store, and I noticed that my favorite author came out with a new book. On a whim, I decided to spend the money and I'm so glad I did. The French have a whole different perspective on food.

I won't get into too much detail, but it's totally worth reading and the book basically talks about how French kids don't snack. Period. They get breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner. Nothing in between. She says that it's much more peaceful, knowing that all day long isn't an opportunity to eat. Amen, sister! I hate having to stop what I'm doing to pour out a bowl of healthy cereal at 9:45, one hour after breakfast. The French have a totally radical view on food that is completely different than ours. They let them help cook, even from a very young age. I mean, they really let them. There is a story in the book about a four year old ladling out the muffin mix into the pan. The beauty of this is that kids are more invested in what is prepared so they are more likely to try new things and actually like them.

I kept thinking: She hasn't met my kids though. I'm sure they won't want to help me cook, and plus I kind of hate the idea of their hands in my food and them making a mess. But, I decided I would embrace this concept and see what happened, because first of all they hardly eat any real meals, and second of all, I detest cooking, so I thought if I could make the whole thing more fun, my life might improve.

The results were so extraordinary that I am going to have to break this into several different posts. But here is the result of my first day:

First, we made spaghetti. I allowed my daughter (age 4.5) to get up on a stool and help me stir the raw hamburger meat. At first, she was reluctant to help, but I kept telling her what a good Mommy she would make one day if she could learn how to cook and she quickly got on board:

Then she helped me pour the sauce into the pan with the meat and she stirred it all up for me. As the French do, I advised her to smell the different smells and really appreciate the process. I explained everything to her along the way and she was fascinated. Then she helped me clean up and even thought that was really fun.

After we got the dinner all ready, we decided to make blueberry muffins for dessert. I decided to really go the distance. I allowed her to actually spoon the batter into the cups, just like it says in the book. I was amazed. It took her a long time and she did make a little bit of a mess, but she was meticulous and she did every single one:

So, when it was time to eat, I held my breath. Sure enough, she ate a ton of spaghetti, which she usually refuses to even try. My little guy ate all of his spaghetti too and then they got to have muffins for dessert! And best of all, I had a great time. The afternoon was fun and cooking dinner was enjoyable for once! So, day one of my experiment was a huge success. Now it's time to move on to the 2nd part of the experiment...snack time...stay tuned!

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5 Fun Indoor Games to Burn Energy

2013-02-27T04:55:00.000-08:00

If you never see another post from me again, it's because I've gone crazy and I'm locked away in an insane asylum. Seriously, is this winter even going to end?!? I just want to go to the pool with a cold lemonade (or adult beverage) and some pool toys, is that too much to ask? I do find though, that if I just give in and try to have fun with the kids, time goes much faster, especially in the evenings. So we do try to make our fun, even if it inside, and here is a list of our favorite indoor games to pass the time and burn energy:

Hide the Blueberries....sounds strange but the kids sure enjoy it....
Ring around the rosy: I find this to be a rather morbid game, because did you know that the kids during the plague used to sing it, and it actually about all the people dying? They would put a pocket full of posies around them to help with the smell...and the ashes were related to the fact that they burned people to try to decontaminate and stop the plague. But of course, the kids don't know that!! :-) They are happy to do this over and over again and they giggle hysterically every time we "fall down".
The Monster Mash: I don't know why, but my kids adore this song. We turn it on and they dance around and beg me to dance with them. Sometimes I put it on repeat and they do four or five songs in a row!
Jumping on a Mattress: Nothing gets energy out like jumping on a mattress, or as we call it, a trampoline. We put an old one in the basement and it gets used a lot.
Hotter, Colder: Hide something while the kids have their eyes closed and then they try to find it. Tell them when they're getting "hotter" and when they are getting "colder". I loved this game when I was a kid and I bet if you add up all the time I spent playing this in life I could have gotten an undergrad degree in it.
Hide and Seek: It's interesting because one year ago, this is how my daughter hid when she played this game. She was three then and she shrieked and giggled the whole time, making it quite easy to find her. We played it again last night and I swear it took me several minutes to find her. It turned out she was hiding under my office, behind a chair and didn't make a sound. She's really growing up!

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Proof that Super-Mom is a Figment of Our Imaginations

2013-02-19T19:19:00.000-08:00

The other day my BFF, Dani, sent me a funny article about SuperMoms. This article defined it as someone who wakes up early to work out, who has a job but still takes care of the kids, and who tries make the kids eat healthy. There were some other funny ideals, but basically on paper, my friend said this was me.
I wanted to believe her. It is true that I wake up early to exercise. But mainly because I'm too cheap to buy new clothes and I'm barely fitting into my current ones. And yes, I try not to give my kids sweets. But again, it's selfish. It's because I don't want them begging me for sweets all the time so it's just easier to avoid the topic all together. And yes, I do have a full-time job and manage to keep it all together. But it's a struggle and it sure ain't pretty.
But one day recently, I was having a Super-Mom kind of day. I woke up early, knocked out a bunch of emails, had a great work-out, and showered, all before my kids woke up. Then I had a morning where I didn't have to yell at anyone. I went on to work all day, then I took my kids to the park and did my husband's laundry so he'd be ready for his next trip.
Lastly, I started to make dinner and was really feeling good about myself. What a day! I checked the timer on my home-made meal and I yelled (sweetly for once) to my kids that dinner was almost ready (hubby wasn't home yet of course). I opened the oven door and was thoroughly confused when I was greeted with cold air. What the heck???
Turns out that "Super-Mom" set the timer, but forgot to actually turn on the oven. My lovely casserole had been sitting in the cold oven for 40 minutes. The kids started fighting about some stupid toy and my perfect day was over. Oh well, I gave it a good run. I laughed and pulled out the chicken nuggets and canned peaches. Super-Mom theory debunked. It turns out we're all human. I slept in the next day and relished every second my extra sleep.
Thanks again for visiting and commenting! Work has been crazy and I'm sorry the blog has been lame lately! Thanks for sticking with me!!

Raising a Tough Breed of Children

2013-02-12T18:52:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit of a wimp. Okay, a huge wimp. When my parents used to take us skiing (which in retrospect was very nice of them and was probably super expensive for them), I truly thought they were doing it just to torture me and a small part of me wondered if they could truly love me if they were willing to let me suffer through frozen toes, frozen hands, smashed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and snow down my back.
It wasn't until I grew up that I realized the full extent of my wimpiness. I have tried to redeem myself and I even enjoy skiing now, but I have never fully become a "tough" anything. I have always admired those girls who could go out on the mountain and seem to fully enjoy pulling on some snowshoes and plowing through 10 inches of snow without complaining or go through labor "naturally" without screaming for an epidural. That's definitely not me...but I'm determined to make my daughter, and really both kids, that way. Don't get me wrong...I don't blame my parents because sometimes nature is stronger than nurture, but I really try to make them "shake it off", I try to make sure they don't whine a lot, and I have been taking my kids to the park several times a week, even in the cold.
The other day, it was only 28 degrees and I offered to take them to the park. They were thrilled since we've been inside so much. They were thrilled and I stood in the cold, cursing myself for my own stupidity and trying not to bite off my own tongue while shivering. And yet there they were...running around having a great time even though we were literally the only people at the park.

So when we got home a neighbor waved to us and said, "Good for you...raising a tough breed of children, that's great!", I was thrilled. I may not be tough but hopefully my kids will be! Thanks again for visiting! I am thrilled to have you and love when people comment! Did you enjoy my post? Don't forget to vote for me by clicking the banner below. You can also enter your email address below to receive all my updates! I really appreciate your support!! Want to see all my posts? Put your email address here to become a subscriber!

More Fun With Science and Vinegar

2013-02-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

I have officially found something that Little Buddy (2 and a half) never grows tired of. Vinegar and Baking Soda. We've done this before, but not for a long time and I think he's the perfect age to truly be fascinated by it. I just took our foil tins and sprinkled some baking soda on the bottom. Then I mixed up a small bowl with some vinegar and a little bit of green paint (had to stir pretty vigorously for it to actually mix together) and then I gave him a small eye dropper. Then I came back an hour later.
Kidding. I supervised of course, but this kid was literally thrilled with this and did it for over an hour. I had to change it out a few times and we went through quite a bit of vinegar, but it was totally worth it. You could almost see his little brain working as he watched the fizzle:

He begged me to do it again a few days later and this time I ended up giving him purple too, just to prolong the experience. Then he was really interested to watch the colors blend together and big Sister even started her own game of mixing paint together to see what happened.

Thanks again so much for swinging by! For more ideas on fun science projects with kids and ways to keep them busy, please (oh please) won't you check out my book?

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When the Kids are Driving me Crazy....

2013-01-31T18:27:00.000-08:00

The other day we had one of those days where the kids really felt that it was their solemn duty to irritate the crap out of each other and out of me. For example, Little Buddy was playing with a bouncy ball. He would throw it up in the air and when it would land, Munchkin Girl would take it and run away cackling, knowing full-well that he wanted it and would be upset that she took it. I would put her in a time-out and she would yell and cry but then would promise to be better. Then, when she got downstairs after her timeout, she would start playing with a doll and Little Buddy would steal it and run away. Then she would tackle him and he would pull her hair. Nothing worked. They were just intent on being naughty and no matter how many threats, timeouts, and screaming fits I had, they weren't going to change their overall attitudes. We were stuck in a vicious cycle of crazy.

I have been doing some solemn research on this topic and I have found that when this happens, there are only four ways to reverse the atmosphere:

Let them watch a TV show. Sometimes just getting their minds off the cycle will change the mood for the entire day. Experts say kids shouldn't watch too much TV, but let's be honest. It works. And sometimes you just need it.
Get in the car. It doesn't matter if I just drive in circles. Getting everyone out of the house gives me a break and again, it takes their minds off the cycle of bad behavior.
Play tag and/or hide and go seek. They often just need to burn energy. Just chase them around the house and let them scream.
Put on music. Have a dance party. Do a piggy back ride and sway to the music. (I have found the song Monster Mash to be particularly effective)
Put on an exercise tape! I was amazed at how my kids (ages four and 2) loved to follow along and raise their arms when instructed. The bonus is that I got to exercise and they burned energy at the same time!

If all else fails, call your husband/Mom/neighbor and beg someone to come give you a break! As my husband and I often say, "It's time for a change in personnel".

Tell me what you do when your kids are driving you crazy! And again, thanks so much for visiting and commenting! I truly appreciate hearing from you!

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Mommy, Why is Daddy Never Here??

2013-01-28T18:24:00.000-08:00

Isn't it funny (and a little scary) how every good memoir is based largely on the childhood of the main character? A bad set of parents can elicit some of the most wonderful and poignant memoirs (such as The Glass Castle: A Memoir, Driving with Dead People: A Memoir etc). And yet no one wants to be those bad parents, even though interesting children are always a bonus.
Which leads me to wonder what our kids will say about how they were raised. There are a few things I know for sure: they won't say we abused them, they will say their Mom was always forgetting things and most likely they'll say their Dad was gone a lot.
Sadly, Hubby is an orthopedic surgery resident and has been gone a lot lately. In fact, he hasn't seen the kids in almost a week. Granted, he's been traveling on fellowship interviews as well as working, so it's a little more crazy than usual, but you can only imagine how I felt when my daughter said, "Mommy, why doesn't Daddy come home anymore?"
I explained how he has to work a lot since he's a doctor and helps fix people's bones. She was very thoughtful for a few minutes and finally said, "Mommy, I'm really glad for the people that Daddy helps, but I'm just sad that he has to be a Doctor. Can't he be a policeman or sell stuff like you?"
Tears sprang to my eyes...both from sadness but also from joy about what a thoughtful and sweet little girl I have. I feel like that is pretty insightful for a four year old. And I have to admit that I share her feeling...it's hard to be thankful that your husband is a doctor when he's gone all the time. Granted, he's still a resident and everyone knows those hours are hellacious, but sometimes you wonder if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. I did my best to explain that policemen have to work a lot too and how much her Daddy loves her, and to Daddy's credit, he does his very best to be home when he can and call when he can't. And, I'm happy to report that tonight Daddy made it home just in time to kiss the kids to bed tonight so it wasn't a full week that passed without him seeing them. Thank God for small miracles. I also want to say how much I appreciate you readers and your comments. I have gotten really busy with my job again so it's been hard to keep up this blog. Your comments really keep me going so THANK YOU!!!
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Did We Get Robbed? Or Did We Do That to Our Own House?

2013-01-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I walked in the door with the kids after running an errand and I couldn't believe my eyes. My first thought was, "Oh my God!! We've been burglarized!! Someone has ransacked our house looking for something!! What were they looking for? I need to call the police!!"
Then I realized something even more scary. We did that ourselves. And I didn't even notice before we left the house BECAUSE IT SEEMED TOTALLY NORMAL TO ME. Ahhh, the joys of children. The fifteen outfit changes before lunchtime. The searching for that one particular doll named Sarah that we haven't played with in about four months but suddenly it's crucial to our life's happiness. The milk cups spilled everywhere. It really never ends, does it???

Later that night, after we cleaned up the house, I made the brilliant decision to let the kids go upstairs and start getting ready for bed by themselves. They are 4.5 and almost 3 now and I thought it would be heavenly if they could begin the bedtime routine by themselves once in awhile. I had successfully performed this magic trick twice in the last week and I was thrilled to find them upstairs brushing their teeth peacefully by the time I got upstairs. The problem is that I got over-confident. I must have left them alone a few minutes too long because suddenly my daughter was downstairs, staring at me.
"Yes?" I said.
"Mommy, I'm afraid I have some bad news," she said. "My brother has pottied all over the floor."
I ran upstairs and sure enough, there is my little guy, with his underwear around his legs, standing in a pool of potty. I have to admit that it was pretty hard not to laugh and okay, Little Buddy isn't quite ready for the solo bedtime routine. And I guess it's safe to say that my house will never be the cleanest house on the block, but I guess it's all in your definition of the word, "clean", right? And I plan to re-define that word, for the good of Moms everywhere. Are you with me???
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4 Easy Snowman Crafts

2013-01-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

It snowed right before Christmas this year and it was the first time Little Buddy (2.5 years) had really seen snow. The kids were thrilled to make a snowman with Daddy and they've been talking about it ever since. So, we've been doing lots of snowman crafts and as usual, all of our crafts are very easy! Here are four easy ways to make snowman crafts:
PAPER SNOWMAN For this one, I cut up several different sizes of circles in all different colors. I simply laid out the collection of circles and let the kids choose which color and which size to glue on for their snowman. Since there were so many options, they each made several of them before they grew tired of this. Plus I let them glue on some Poms that were left over from Christmas. This was a good exercise in choosing bigger over smaller since they knew that the biggest circle should go on the bottom. Plus it was good for fine motor to glue on the little poms.

COTTON BALL SNOWMAN For this one I just drew out a snowman and gave them some cotton balls to glue on. I always like to let them use real glue when I can because squeezing it out is so great for hand strength

BEAN SNOWMAN I drew out a snowman and gave them glue and beans and they glued the beads to the outline. Of course, Little Buddy's didn't quite look this good, but he did enjoy it and then it led to sensory play with the beans! This was also great for fine motor control as they had to use their fingers to pinch the beans and affix them to the page.

BASIC SNOWMAN This was definitely the least messy! For this, I just drew the outline and she used her markers to decorate it. I actually didn't originally intend for her to do this, but she grabbed the markers and had a blast. Later we used paint for the same purpose.

For more ideas on easy crafts, I hope you will consider buying my book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn. If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you! We give you a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that you can do activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity. Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!

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Should We Just Buy 2 of Everything so the Kids Don't Fight Over Toys?

2013-01-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Right before Christmas I was picking the kids up from gymnastics class and one of the Moms was telling everyone about how she had bought 2 of every gift for her kids for Christmas (her girls are 5 and 3). Her intent was to make sure that they didn't have any reason to fight over anything. She went on to explain further that she had been buying 2 of everything since before her 2nd child had even been born. She bragged, "I knew even back then that I would have no peace in my house with kids so close in age unless I had 2 of every toy. So now they have no reason to fight!"
I began to feel panicky. Was this what everyone did and I just never knew it? That thought had never occurred to me and certainly not back when I only had one child. I mentally scanned the presents I'd bought for Christmas and realized that I had bought only one of every toy. Of course, I have a boy and a girl so, in theory, this should be no problem. I bought binoculars and trucks for my boy and dolls and doll clothes for my girl.
Yet Christmas came around and sure enough, they fought over everything. My daughter was dying to play with the train and the workbench instead of with her dolls. My son didn't care what he played with as long as he had stolen it from his big sister. On December 27th I thought I was going to lose my mind. My entire day was filled with crying, pushing, protesting and the Christmas spirit was gone. What was wrong with my children? I called my Mom and I was almost in tears and explained the situation to her. She said:
"Katie, it's their job to fight over toys. It's part of growing up and it's how they learn."
I replied, "But they're driving me crazy and I can't stop yelling at them! Now on top of everything I feel super guilty for yelling at them!"
She said, "Don't worry so much. It may be their job to fight but it's your job to yell at them. Or at least teach them."
I found these words very comforting. We are all just doing our jobs. And after I looked at it that way, I calmed down and stopped yelling and started teaching them more calmly. And she was right. After a few days, the newness of all the gifts went away and things went back to normal, with them fighting only part of the day and not all day long. Grandmas are very wise.
I'd love to hear from my readers. Did you go through this fighting after Christmas too? Does anyone buy 2 gifts for everyone, just to prevent fighting?
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4 Great Destinations with Little Kids

2013-01-03T18:23:00.001-08:00

I hate picking out travel destinations online. It's so stressful! You never know what you're going to get. They say they're close to the beach, but what does that really mean? Does that mean we have to walk over a giant bridge over a busy street for fifteen minutes before we get to the beach? (That happened to us one time).

So, I'm going to share with you some places that really are great to go with kids. How do I know this? Because I've been there! They all have something good to offer, but I have shared the positives and the negatives so you can really get a picture for what you are getting yourself into.

Florida: Marco Island Marriott
Positives: This a wonderful hotel for kids. It truly is right on the beach. You simply walk through an amazing lobby, past a beautiful pool, and voila! Beach! They also have activities for kids every single day, so it's kind of like a cruise. You can sign the kids up for activities and give yourself a chance to relax by yourselves if you are so inclined. They also have several good restaurants onsite so you don't have to strap the kids into their car seats every night.

Negatives: Marco Island is almost three hours from the airport, so this might not be ideal with little kids after a long flight. The rooms are typical hotel rooms, so you don't have the luxury of a kitchen. They do have some suites available, but they are much more expensive. Lastly, this would be a pretty pricey beach vacation. However, if you have a Marriott credit card like we do, and if you travel for work, you might be able to practically get the hotel for free like we did!

Colorado: Breckenridge Grand Timber Lodge
Positives: Breckenridge is a great family town. They have a cute little main street with lots of shopping and restaurants. Grand Timber Lodge is the only true resort that I've ever seen in the mountains. It's nestled in with the fancy houses, yet it also has a large pool and even a playground, along with a few restaurants right on site. If you prefer to stay in a resort with the kids so that you have more to do, but like the idea of staying in the mountains, this would be a great choice. They even have two bedroom suites available.
Negatives: You don't quite get that isolated mountain feel.

Colorado: Estes Park Riverwood Condos
Positives: This is a perfect place to stay if you want a quiet mountain condo. It's right on the river and you can sit out back and listen to the stream and smell the pine trees. It's a great location, close to town and also to the Rocky Mountain National Park. They are pretty affordable and even provide cribs and baby stuff for you.
Negatives: We stayed in one that had a loft, so we had to deal with stairs with a toddler, which wasn't ideal. They do have some without stairs, so just keep that in mind when you are booking your vacation.

Hawaii: Maui Westin
Positives: This is an amazing hotel, even for Maui. They have a gorgeous lobby, pool, and really are right on the beach. You can walk to some restaurants to limit how often you have to get the kids in and out of the car. They even have pink flamingos wandering around the lobby and pool area.
Negatives: Obviously a trip to Hawaii isn't cheap, and this hotel is certainly not going to make it any cheaper. However, if you have the money, it's definitely worth it.

Do you have any place you recommend going with kids?? If so, leave a comment, I would LOVE to hear about it!

PS...If you read have been reading my blog for a long time, I want to apologize for my lack of postings recently. The Holidays were super busy and I've been feeling a bit burned out from blogging. I'm going to try to get back into it (I hope).

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Does the Grinch Really Deserve That? And Other Random Christmas observations...

2012-12-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas is such a fun, but interesting time. For example:

The song about the Grinch is really very mean. When you really listen to the words, it's basically all full of very clever insults so I find it amusing that it's become a beloved Christmas song. (example: You're a Foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a Nasty, Wasty Skunk! Your heart is full of unwashed socks....) I know he's a bad guy, but he turns out nice in the end...does he really deserve all the insults?
What the heck is Figgy Pudding?!?! (It's from the song We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
When you start buying gifts in October (like I did this year), you feel a lot more organized, but end up spending a lot more money because you forget what you've already bought until it's time to wrap everything.
Being "asleep" means something very different to me than it does to the kids. To the kids, it means they want me to pretend to be "asleep" while I actually have to stay extra vigilant in case someone decides to jump on my while my eyes are closed, or get into something they know they shouldn't. To me, it actually means "asleep". (Okay this isn't related to Christmas, but I still find it interesting).
Some of the ornaments and decorations that seemed so lame when I was a teen-ager are now so special to me.
How do people get the energy and money to come up with a whole display of lights, going in tune to music on the radio? Especially if it's at their own house and they're doing it for free? Kudos to them because we love Christmas lights!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Did you enjoy my post? Don't forget to vote for me by clicking the banner below. You can also enter your email address below to receive all my updates! I really appreciate your support!! Want to see all my posts? Put your email address here to become a subscriber!

What a Difference a Year Makes

2012-12-18T13:24:00.000-08:00

When I was working on my post about 5 Easy Christmas Ornaments, I noticed something very interesting. My daughter, who is now 4 and a half, painted several wooden Christmas ornaments. While she was working on them, it hit me what a difference a year had made in terms of her painting ability. Now, don't misunderstand. I have zero motivation for her to become an award-winning artist, unless that is something loves of course, but look at the stark difference. Here is her ornament from this year. Pay special attention to the top star. First she painted the exterior in green and then she painted the inside of the star yellow. She even painted the individual circles in yellow instead of having that entire area be green:

That may not seem like a huge deal, but look at her tree from last year. Same exact idea. Just a wooden tree ornament but with this one, she basically just mixed everything together and didn't have the fine motor control to make separate color regions at all.

I am truly amazed at what a difference a year can make in a child's life! Merry Christmas to all if I don't talk to you before then!! :-)

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5 Super-Easy Christmas Ornaments

2012-12-13T13:17:00.002-08:00

This year I got several requests for a post about easy Christmas Ornaments that kids could make that weren't messy or expensive. I have to say that it always surprises me when people think I'm creative! I am definitely not talented enough to come up with anything super complicated so I guess I've become the queen of the easy craft. And honestly, I think lots of Moms out there are just like me and want to do something easy and fun that can be done with minimal preparation or cleanup. So, without further ado, here are the 5 Easiest Christmas Ornament on the Planet, that even the most craft-challenged Moms can do with the kids:
1. Christmas Tree Ornaments For this, all you need to do is cut Christmas trees out from green paper. They don't even have to be perfect. I know mine wasn't! Once it's decorated, you could just poke a hole in the top and put some ribbon through there so it'll hang as an ornament.

Then you can help them put anything you want on there. you could do stickers, glue sequins or red and green poms to look like ornaments, or even do finger prints with finger paint. We elected to do stickers for a few reasons: 1) It takes a long time to peel off all the stickers and keeps them busy for longer, 2) Stickers are great for developing fine motor skills (look at this pic below, you can just see those little muscles developing) and 3) My kids just adore stickers.

2. Wooden ornaments It really doesn't get easier than this one. You simply buy these from the craft store in all sorts of designs, Santa, Christmas tree, Frosty, etc. (we bought ours from Hobby Lobby) and give the kids some paint. They cost about $.75 so we bought several and this was by far my daughter's favorite ornament. One tip is to put the paint into an old egg carton so you don't have to wash anything after you're done. Simply throw away the old egg carton. Also, I give my daughter four different brushes so she doesn't have to mix colors but also doesn't have to mess with washing the brushes in between each color change. We've gotten so good at this that we don't even wear smocks anymore!

3. Candy Canes I remember doing these as a kid and I had forgotten how incredibly easy they are! All you need are some pipe cleaners (red is ideal, but at first we used orange since I couldn't find any red ones and they turned out fine), and some beads from the craft store. These are also very inexpensive and you can find them in the isle with all the ornament stuff:

Then the kids simply bead onto the pipe cleaners, which is also excellent for fine motor skills and pretty soon, voila! A beautiful candy cane:

4. Plastic Balls You can also find these at the craft store and you can put anything you want into them! We chose small bits of paper because the kids like to crinkle them up and it's great for strengthening hand muscles, which will come in later when they are learning to write. I simply cut up a bunch of bits of paper, they crumpled them all up and then put them into this clear plastic ball. Super easy but it did keep them busy for quite awhile.

5. Sun-catchers We have been doing these sun-catchers every week for several months now. It's one of my daughters favorite projects, so you can imagine her excitement when I came home from Hobby Lobby with Christmas-themed sun-catchers for her! The great thing is, they paint is provided, so again it's very simple and easy and they even come with holes at the top for the ribbon or twine so they can be hung on the tree.

This isn't exactly what we bought, but you can get the idea:

For more ideas on easy crafts and activities for your kids, please check out my new book! We have hundreds of ways to keep kids busy in productive way, improving fine motor skills, strength, sensory skills, and much more!

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I Hate Lying to My Kids About Santa

2012-12-10T07:24:00.001-08:00

I really hate to even write about this, because I know this might make me sound like a nut job, but I sort of hate the fact that Santa exists. I remember as a kid, the moment I found out that Santa wasn't real. I truly felt betrayed and I suddenly began wondering what else my parents were lying to me. I got over it of course, and I do love the Christmas season and I never had to get therapy or anything (haha), but I still wonder why our society feels the need to tell lies to our kids from the day they're born?
Think about it. Here are the problems I have with Santa:

It's a total, 100% lie. We tell our kids to always tell us the truth, but we create these extravagant lies about this mythical creature that brings them toys. Why is that okay, just because we're the adults?
We tell them they only get toys if they're good. They're on their best behavior throughout December, but what happens on January 1st? They suddenly don't have to behave because there is no elf watching over them? That's crazy, I want them to behave all year, not just at Christmas.
Santa gets all the credit. I do all the work, the shopping, the wrapping, etc., and they don't feel like they have to really thank me, because they think Santa did everything for them, which also means they don't have to really be grateful, because they think everything is magical.
Santa didn't even exist until about 100 years ago, when he was created by a department store. People survived without Santa for hundreds of thousands of years and still managed to celebrate Christmas in a festive way.

This year I secretly decided that I would try not to really talk about Santa because I thought that if I don't really mention it and make a big deal out of it, maybe they won't feel so upset when they learn the truth. I tried to just focus on Christmas itself, Christmas lights, baby Jesus, and getting presents for each other. The problem I found is that Santa is everywhere. He is at the grocery store, the department stores, he's on TV constantly, and everyone is asking them if they have an elf, if they've been good, and if they're on the Good List or the Naughty List.
I will say that I've had a great time this Christmas, and I've really enjoyed thinking creatively about Christmas, but my experiment clearly failed. My husband thinks I'm crazy so I've decided to just everything happen without controlling it, but I'd love to know your thoughts. Do you feel bad lying about Santa, or am I totally crazy?!?
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Mommy I Want to Do it Myself! (Overcoming My Need to Micro-manage)

2012-12-03T12:45:00.000-08:00

The other day I was brushing my teeth with one hand while scrolling through emails with the other hand while also trying to wriggle out of my pants in preparation for the shower. That's when it hit me that maybe I really am in too much of a hurry all the time. For example, my daughter has been trying to buckle herself into her car seat but it's pretty tough and I know she can do it if I give her enough time, but it seems like we're always in such a hurry.
Being in a hurry though, is all relative. Susan Case, former Kindergarten Teacher and best-selling author (and my co-author) maintains how important it is for kids to have the time to learn to do practical things by themselves. She says, "Kids need to feel empowered. They need to feel like Mom and Dad trust them and that they have the room to grow and learn."
I knew she was right. When I hurry the kids along or just take over something they were trying to do, I might as well be saying, "You're not good enough so I need to take over." That's certainly not something I want my kids to learn so I decided to put this in action for Christmas preparations. When it was time to get my Christmas Cards ready, at first I just wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, and I hated the idea of her getting paper cuts or messing up the envelopes, but I decided to give it a try and she totally proved me wrong (she's four and a half). We did it together and she stuffed and licked about twenty envelopes. Not only that, she saved me a ton of time and was very efficient and she took a lot of pride in her work.

Next I let them have a big part in decorating the house. Overall, they did a great job and only fought a few times. Little Buddy wasn't quite as interested in helping, but he's getting there (you can see him below, stuffed into a doll bed, which is where he sat for much of the Christmas decorating):

I have to say that I was very pleased with all of these successful experiments. I love the idea of having little helpers around the house, and I really don't want them to think that I think that they aren't good enough in my eyes. By the end of the weekend, I got really brave and let her paint her own fingers and toes. I supervised closely, of course, but she painted every single finger and toe all by herself. And I didn't even clean them up after she was done. I've come a long way and so have my kids.

For more ideas on empowering your kids and giving them activities to do around the house, please check out my new book, which I co-wrote with Susan Case. The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn was released this summer. If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you! As we did above, we give you a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that you can do activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity. Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!
We were thrilled be to be given the opportunity to talk about this to you in person! Check out this video we created to show you more about the book!

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Color Chart from Magazine Clippings

2012-11-29T04:47:00.000-08:00

I came home the other day to find this beautiful piece of artwork on the floor. My babysitter said the kids spent an enormous amount of time on it.

They picked things out of magazines to cut out and then they glued them into a different columns, depending on color. I thought this was pure genius since:
A) It took them a long time and kept them busy B) My preschooler got to work on her cutting C) They got to work on colors
It was a win all around so I thought I'd share with you!

For more ideas on projects and games to keep your kids busy, please check out my new book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble and Motivated to Learn. It is packed full of information about keeping kids busy, but in productive ways, so that they still have the opportunity to learn while you are stuck doing the dishes! Here is one of the reviews from Amazon:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is a "Must Have" book!!!, July 9, 2012

Kim Jenson -

This is truly a fantastic book! I was shocked at how many activities the authors came up with - many of which didn't even require a trip to the store for supplies! The Mom who wrote this has great stories & the Teacher has valuable experiences...it's a perfect blend of unique insight. Fun (inexpensive) activities that keep my 2 kids away from the TV, what more can you ask for?!?!? This book is really helping me become a better Mom - Thank you!

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5 Store-Bought Crafts Worth Buying

2012-11-26T05:02:00.000-08:00

Before I learned how to be crafty at home, I used to buy craft kits and I always sort of thought, "Who are they kidding with this?" We never could quite get them to work the way the instructions described, and they always seemed to cause more frustration than enjoyment, but over the past year I have actually bought a few crafts and games worth buying. Here they are:
1. Alex Tissue Art: There are some products by this company that aren't worth buying, but this is a great one. We have played with this on multiple days and even my 2.5 year old could sort of do it and my four year old absolutely loved it.

2. Suncatchers. I cannot tell you how many suncatchers my daughter has painted in the past 6 months. She never seems to grow tired of these. You can actually buy them at Walmart for less than $1 apiece and they sell the paint for them too since they take a special kind of paint. Or you can buy this kit that comes with everything.

3. We have bought different lacing stuff before, but this is the only one that my daughter actually enjoys. We have taken these on many vacations and they are great because they can keep them busy and pack into a very small area. Plus, they are great for developing fine motor skills.

4. Hubby doesn't love these as much as we do, but we absolutely love them. The kids can color on the windows and then they come off easily afterward when it's time to clean them up (I find this to be a great chore for the kids. It doesn't quite get done right, but they can sure try!)

5. I find this to be a great one to do when my daughter has friends over. They can each get a pile of beads and they can each make a pretty necklace. Again, this is great for fine motor and the beads simply snap together.

If you are interested in craft ideas that you don't have to buy, you might be interested in my book! I teamed up with Susan Case who is a former Kindergarten teacher and a passionate advocate for learning through play. We give you dozens of other ideas on how to keep your kids busy, but in a productive way, so they are actually learning while they are also having fun! Here is what one of my readers wrote on Amazon after she read our book:

This book seriously saved my sanity. I've read a bunch of parenting books but this is literally the only one that actually gave me real and specific advice and ideas for things to do with my daughter. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year old and I was at my wits end trying to come up with ideas of fun, easy, creative things to do with her that will keep her busy and occupied and help her learn. I wasn't very good at following through on ideas that I heard about from friends or read in other books or online because they seemed too complicated (aka: messy!) but this book broke it down and made it so simple. I highly recommend it!

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Easiest Thanksgiving Craft Ever

2012-11-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

Extravagant Holiday crafts are not my specialty. However, we haven't talked about Thanksgiving very much much lately, so this year, we went ahead and did one...but it was the easiest and most simple craft in the history of crafts. I simply got a few paper plates, some construction paper, and some googley eyes. I cut up some "feathers" for them and gave them their glue. I even sat down and did one with them and they really enjoyed seeing my finished Turkey. Sometimes it takes so little to impress children that it really thrills me.
Here is my daughter's Turkey (Age 4)

And here is my son's (Age 2.5). You have to use your imagination a little bit and as usual, he went a little overboard with the eyes, but he sure likes having it hanging up for the world to see!

For more easy craft ideas, please check out my new book! The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble and Motivated to Learn has been out for a few months and people seem to be really enjoying it! And if you do get it, would you do us a big favor and leave a review? The more reviews, the better!
Thank you so much!!
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That is the strangest craft I've ever seen

2012-11-13T04:40:00.001-08:00

I see a lot of themed art and crafts on Pinterest and I do generally think that's the best kind, but last weekend we made something genuinely unique (and by that I mean bizarre) and we had a lot of fun. Here's how it happened: It was raining, and it was cold, steady rain, the kind that is sure to last all day. We knew that Daddy would be gone all day so it was a series of musical rooms while I tried to entertain the kids all day long inside the house.
At one point, I decided to make sheep out of paper plates and cotton balls. We've done this before, so the kids were familiar. However, the sheep soon turned into something entirely strange. First Little Buddy starting glueing eyes to the cotton balls.

Then Big Sis saw what he was doing and thought she would join in. Pretty soon, we weren't making sheep at all and they kept asking for me to get out new things for them to glue on. Honestly, there is a time in my life that I probably would have said, "No, we're supposed to be making sheep. You only need two eyeballs for sheep."
However, in my old age, I have a totally different philosophy. Now, I figure if it keeps them busy and they are being creative, I get the heck out of the way so that I can keep doing dishes! Haha

This really did keep them busy for about 30 minutes, maybe a little bit longer. As usual, once this was done, they scampered off to do some imaginary play by themselves for awhile, which is the real beauty of these projects.

Kim Jenson -

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