Mommy's In Charge

Oatmeal Bars (Vegan)

2010-02-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

This recipe was given to me by my friend Karyn. Thanks Karyn!

For the first recipe of my blog, I wanted to make it a good, all time favorite. This recipe is tried and true. You can offer these to any crowd, anywhere, anytime of day, and they're eaten up quickly. I keep a pan made pretty much at all times because my kids love them for snack, for breakfast or even dessert. This is a vegan recipe as well, although we are not vegans. Enjoy!

You will need:

2/3 cups four, pref. whole wheat

1/2 tsp. salt

3 cups oatmeal

1/2 cup real maple syrup

2 tsp. vanilla

3/4 cup Polaner All-fruit only (any kind, but we like the Black Cherry, Strawberry, Raspberry)

Mix together flour, salt and oatmeal.

Add oil and mix well.

Add maple syrup and vanilla and mix thoroughly.

Preheat over to 350 and spray 9X9 pan with Pam. You can also double this recipe and use a 8X11 pan.

Spread half the batter in pan and press down firmly with a fork or spoon.

Spread jam evenly over batter.

Cover with remaining batter, press firmly to sea in jam.

Bake 35-40 minutes then cool for 20 minutes. Cut into squares.

You can serve warm with ice cream, as a healthy snack or as breakfast.

The Biggest Heart

2010-01-01T01:40:00.000-08:00

The biggest heart is all I see, but I know someday my little girl will realize the eyes of the world see her differently. Raising an "overweight" child is very challenging. Needless to say, as a parent, we want our children to be happy and healthy. Wouldn't you say that just about sums it up? When I saw the doctor scrawl "overweight" on her chart, my heart dropped. It's just a word, I know, but the meaning behind that word threatens her health and her happiness. I had to get control of the situation mostly to spare her from hurt, but also so she could grow in a healthy way.

She's just a kid who is programmed to love food and eating. She rubs her tummy and makes "yummy noises" while she eats. As she gets on the bus in the morning, she will turn and ask, "What's for dinner tonight, Mommy?" Makes me laugh in one sense, but worries me at the same time! She can't tolerate any level of hunger in any way and if I serve something she doesn't like for a meal, she will immediately start to cry. Food is the only thing she will cry for and about.

What makes this especially difficult is that my other 3 children range from average to "underweight." How do I cater to both ends of the spectrum and keep everyone healthy and happy? I can't encourage a big bowl of ice cream to the one who needs it, and tell the other she can't have it. I needed professional advice on how to "handle this with caution," and keep feelings and self esteem from being hurt. I sought the advice of two very well respected nutritionists in the area. I share some of the information they shared with me, for those dealing with the same concerns. I am not a nutritionist, but I have come across things that have helped me handle this, and I have included some of my own thoughts as well:

*Never put your child on a "diet." It makes your child feel fat, or fatter if already feeling that way.

* Never single out the child in any way. If your child needs to lose weight, set up an eating and exercise program for the whole family. This is one thing I found very helpful. To go further with this point, an unhealthy food is unhealthy regardless of a child's weight. I used to give my son, a child who needs to gain, all the brownies he wanted until this was brought to my awareness. Just as eating three brownies at a time is not healthy for an overweight child, it is also not healthy for any child or adult. This actually made it easier on all of us. Nobody is allowed to overindulge on junk. Except for me, when the children aren't looking ;)!

* Have set times for eating. Unlimited grazing isn't good. Between meal eating isn't necessary if nutritional snacks have been consumed at set times. I like this one too as everyone needs to have a "kitchen closed" time of day.

* Teach responsibility for eating. Even overweight children should decide how much to eat. Parents should plan and prepare meals and snacks. You can't stand over them while they eat forever, monitoring their food consumption, so the sooner they learn appropriate amounts to eat, the better. In my opinion, this will be determined by hunger level and/or amount of activity done that day. For example, when my daughter asks me why she can't have cereal before bed like her brother, my response is based on fact. Her body doesn't need the cereal because it still has energy from the food she ate earlier, whereas her brother played hockey for 2 hours and his body burned all his food away. This matter of fact response seemed to work for her and for me, decreasing the immediate stress I felt at the mere request for food I knew her body didn't need or should have. It was a relief to have a set response, and a real logical response at that.

* Teach child the difference between "stomach hunger" and "head hunger" or appetite. The idea that you may not really need all the food you want to eat to be full.

* Teach your child how to feel hunger and fullness. Teach child to eat slowly so fullness can be felt. Helpful barometer (developed by Sheila Flavin, MS, RD, CDN):

1. starving

2. hungry

3. content

4. full

5. stuffed

I think the idea here is to make your child aware of the level of hunger/fullness so when they reach 3-4, they stop. Many overweight kids eat until the are #5, stuffed which isn't healthy eating. I am trying with my own child to teach her to eat to a comfortable range because she will usually overeat and complain of a stomachache. Just making her aware of the correlation between eating too much- tummy hurts has made a huge difference in her stopping herself at a more comfortable level. Sometimes she will ask for more food, Ill give it to her, and then she will tell me she is full. That would never happen before. Progress.

* Avoid TV and video games in general, but also while eating. They increase food intake and decrease physical activity. I think I broke this rule when I ate the whole box of Ritz during the season finale of Gray's Anatomy.

* Exercise. This is obvious however, with my daughter, finding an activity she felt good doing, and enjoyed, was pretty tough. We tried many things, but I think she felt a certain incompetence in her body. I got the feeling she felt a little slower and more uncoordinated than many kids which left her feeling a little awkward, timid

and unconfident. Those feelings created an unwillingness to continue to go to that soccer practice or skating lesson. Once she found something she liked though, it was like she suddenly had a trust in her body and the way she could make it move. She felt successful and it actually lead her to want to try new things more than before and stick with them a little longer to find out if they really were activities she could enjoy. Thank god for cheerleading (never heard anyone say that, right), and it was actually an activity I never thought she would enjoy so much. You just never know what they might connect with.

* Don't eliminate high calorie foods or those delicious treats all kids love, but do limit them. Good to know. I wasn't sure if I should keep all that stuff out of her diet. It made me feel better to know it's OK to let her have treats in moderation even though she was overweight. In fact, some research suggests the more you control/restrict food, the increased risk an eating disorder will develop.

* Educate your child on the food groups and bodies needs for each one. I showed all my children the Food Pyramid and visually it was a nice demonstration of how much (ex) fruit vs "other" our bodies need. All the kids found this interesting, and a nice discussion followed.

* Focus more on health now than actually weight. My son is practicing healthy habits even though he's low on the chart, and my daughter is eating healthy and exercising even though she's high on the growth chart. I'm teaching all my kids about being healthy regardless of their weight. Did you make healthy food choices and exercise today? I try to keep it light and casual, and not make a huge deal of it all.

One of the nutritionist I consulted recommended a book called Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Slater. I haven't read it yet, but when I do, I'll add any pertinent info here.

Do you have any tips/advice on the topic, reading suggestions or personal story to tell. Please share them here on the blog.

Make-up

2009-11-30T19:55:00.001-08:00

I went looking for makeup yesterday. I don't wear a whole lot of it, but as I get older...YIKES..I'm needing it more and more. The sales lady was looking at my face as if she was trying to memorize every crack and crevice. Then the conversation started to flow:

Her: "So "people" with thin lips shouldn't wear dark lipsick." Apparently I have thin lips.

Me: "OK"

Her: "Did you want to cover up those freckles?" Apparently I should.

Me: "I guess. Sure."

Her: "Good!" Apparently she likes my decision and hates my freckles.

She continued talking about her "beauty" secrets in a "I'm saving the world by telling you these things" kind of way; like if I didn't absorb these tips and employ them as my own, I would look like an ugly frog in the near future. I wanted to croak on her at that point, but instead I gathered my "not too pink for my face according to make up lady" blush, shimmering eye shadow and creamy mousse foundation that wont age my dehydrated face any further, and scrammed out of the place!

Thanks, Thanks and More Thanks

2009-11-26T19:52:00.001-08:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: There's a million little things to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I spent the day eating (0f course), but also generating reasons for why I am thankful. In general, they were silly but I realized that every five seconds I was thankful for something else! It was almost like thinking of Facebook status updates throughout the day. My mind must be in the habit of a constant flowing internal commentary on everything that I am thinking and doing. And today it was a constant flowing internal commentary of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for OnStar because without them, I'd be hitchhiking a few times a week. I am so distracted throughout the day (due to my constant flowing internal commentary of course) that I lock my keys in the car quite often. I used to have to call the husband, which didnt go over well from the beginning of the bad habit, and could have led to him leaving me where I was stranded by the end, but then OnStar came along and saved me and my marriage. Now I just call the number on my window, talk to the nice British lady who answers the phone, give her my 4 letter password, and VIOLA', the door unlocks. Genuis!

Here's another interesting one that popped into my head today as I walked around my kitchen. I am thankful for having a robe with a pocket because it allows me to carry my Iphone around when I wear it. Very handy, but what I dumb thought. Only I know where it comes from because I am slightly obsessed with my lovely Iphone.

My husband is not a cook at all, although he told me today that his "inner cook" is dying to come out. Come out, come out! I'd love to see it a few times a week! The kids can ask him what's for dinner and complain that they are STARVING as soon as 4PM hits. So today I was very thankful that he decided to carry on his 1 year tradition of making us Thanksgiving breakfast. Well, now a two year tradition. He actually put out a nice meal with some coaching from me and assistance locating various utensils that were unnecessary really; a whisk for the eggs (use a fork), a spatula to stir the fruit (use a spoon), but whatever, I think using them made his "inner cook" feel really cool. I was very thankful for this break from cooking and the serious laugh that came with it. He made us rate the food from 1-10 in three categories: Food Temperature (he knows I like my food super hot, just slightly cooler than what will scald your mouth), Food Appearance (yes, honey, the eggs were really yellow, but was that your doing or the chicken's) and the last category was Food Taste. And it tasted good, but more important, he made it with lots of love and to start a special day for us. And he even cleaned up!

Now I'm just really thankful for Tums because I ate so much I might pop.

The Vow to Procrastinate

2009-11-20T20:53:00.000-08:00

THE VOW OF THE DAY: Make sure when you are trying not to procrastinate, you aren't actually procrastinating!!

Today I vow to write in this blog at least three times a week. It's not that I don't like writing in my blog, in fact, I do. I have been so busy lately that I avoid things that I like to do because it feels "wrong" to do things I like if I have other things to do that I don't like. Does that make any sense? Almost like I am trying to keep myself from procrastinating while actually procrastinating! So enough procrastinating and on with the writing!!

The Life with Bugs

2009-10-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Listerine does more than just freshen your breath.

Oh brother, a terrible fear of mine became reality today. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with head lice. Not pretty, not fun. All the usual things came to mind: people are going to think we're dirty slobs, what am I going to do if all four kids get it (who will pick the nits out of my head if I have it), and last, this is the end of my and my children's social life!

I attacked the problem "head on," ready to divide each section of her hair and conquer. I went and bought a variety of products (basically if it had the word "lice killing" on it, I bought it), took my poor baby home, and got to work. I used one of the recommended brands of lice pesticide products, and followed the directions in all of its detail. Boy did her hair look

gorgeous after the four hours I spent pic

king out the nits, one at a time, by hand. I put her hair in a ponytail and breathed a sigh of relief. No more bugs in her hair. Granted, I had "loads" of work ahead of me (laundry), but she had been an angel through it all and I had motivated her to be patient while I nit picked (wow, I just discovered why they use that term!!). She loved the pet store so off we went in her cute and very clean ponytail, or so I thought.

The kids played around with the dogs and picked out some things for the fish and as we paid, I

looked down at her and I saw a live bug crawling through her hair! All my hard work down the drain (or literally so I had hoped)! I flew home faster than the speed of light, all the while plotting my next course of treatment. A friend of mine told me to use Listerine with a shower cap for two hours. It was worth a try. And the try was worth it because after drenching her hair with Listerine and wrapping it in a ziplock bag (I don't own a shower cap), I found 3 more dead lice in her hair. It's gross isnt it? After that, I rinsed her hair in vinegar because that loosens the glue on the nit so you can comb them out more easily. Then we slept with olive in our hair overnight. It seems these home remedies are more effective than the chemical pesticides (in my opinion).

(I bought a big bottle of Listerine and put her head over the sink and applied. Ziplock bag and let her sit in it for as long as she could, which was 30 minutes. I washed it out and then applied warm, white vinegar, combed out nits and had her sleep in olive oil. Research shows that the lice smother in olive oil after 2 hours.

It Makes Ya Think

2009-10-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: You never stop learning. It never hurts to be reminded of the important things in life either.

We took the kids pumpkin picking the other day, and then to lunch. It was crazy that morning and I was a little frustrated with the kids. I was feeling like I wasn't doing a very good job as a mother; the kids weren't listening and there was constant bickering between them. During lunch the "issues" continued: Ryan was eating more than his share of fries, Molly's ice cream cone fell on the floor and she was frantic about it, and one of the kids decided she didn't like her choice of meal once it was brought to the table. Amidst all of this, I'm in my own little world dealing with this craziness, trying to remain calm. I then happen to notice an elderly lady and man sitting near us. This woman was at least 80, and what I assumed to be her husband, was the same. The reason she caught my eye, and the reason I continued to observe her, was because she was staring at me. Staring at me and mumbling. After a few minutes I decided to stare back, but she would not break her gaze. Everything I said she took in, everything I did, she watched, commenting softly to her husband. I was getting a bit irritated and unnerved by her, and started to feel like she was judging me and my parenting and my children. It's just the way my day was going. The lunch lasted a few more minutes, and she continued to stare and mumble. It was as we left that I realized why she was so taken in with my family. I brushed by her table to leave, holding my kids' hands, and as I did she said loudly and clearly, "What a nice mom. She's so patient and kind with her children." She began to cry, and said angrily to her husband, "We should have treated our children like that!" I was floored. I looked back at her and she had tears streaming down her face. I wanted to run up to her and tell her all the bad things I had done as a parent, to diminish some of her inadequacy. Tell her what I want to hear sometimes, "You did the best you could. Nobody's perfect!"

I can't stop thinking about her, and feeling sympathetic to her regrets. I never want to look back with regret, as she does. I can't help but think the incident happened to help me keep my focus as a parent, and remind me what important labor it really is to parent. Everyday, no matter how tired, bored, overwhelmed, distracted I may be, I have to do my best. This woman's regret was a very powerful reminder of that.

Halloweening

2009-09-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

This is basically how I feel about Halloween.

It's the spookiest time of the year and so much fun for the kids, but in my opinion it is a big PITA, if you know what I mean. Trying to make all those Hallmark moments out of this holiday is a joke! Pumpkin carving turns into an ER visit. Trying to choose a costume for mulitple kids at Party City turns into tears and tantrums for all of us. The costume itches, it's too hot to wear, too stiff to move in, or they want to wear half of it. It's one disaster after another. Quick, get a picture of baby in the sunflower costume before she rips the petals off her head and looks like a stuffed pepper!

Here's a great Halloween song though:

iTunes Store - Maura Matlak - Halloween - Single

Ryan Makes It Big (But Still Doesn't Know It Yet)!

2009-09-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

Lesson of the Day: Sometimes things you say will come back to haunt you, especially if it ends up in writing!

Sometimes the fact that I make things up out of sheer desperation to get my kids to behave comes back at me. Things like, if you don't brush your teeth they'll fall out; if you don't wash your hair the bugs will want to live in there and, of course, there's the old seasonal trick, "Santa is WATCHING you: (beat your sister up)(tease your brother)(not listen) so you better stop." I try to stretch the use of this very effective threat from late August through January (Santa can come always come back and take toys away, after Christmas, you know).

One day I used this threat a bunch of times (in an hour), and later found a letter that my son, Ryan, wrote to Santa. AND......the letter ended up on the Chelsea Lately show! This show is hysterical due to the fabulous writing and producing of head-writer Tom Brunelle. Check the show out on E! weekdays at 11:00 PM. Thanks to Tom for airing the letter and bringing a laugh to our family's holidays 2008!

9/11 Remembrance

2009-09-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

Lesson of the Day: One of the gifts that comes out of tragedy is that people come together.

I couldnt let this day go by without a simple rememberance of that powerful day that made us realize our vulnerability in the universe. The heavy sadness that filled our hearts, minds and souls. We reached out to others for comfort; experiencing the devastation in one common human way, together. I somehow felt close to everyone I met along my path days those days afterward; friends, acquantances and strangers alike, and took on the hurt of the families as if I lost a loved one as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n13CU-NvPMU

How Deep Is Your Love?

2009-08-31T19:32:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Be prepared for any answer when you ask a question. And don't ask a question if you don't want the answer!

It's interesting how children try to quantify love, isnt it? They hold out arms, "I love you thiiiiis much." Or "I love you more than the whole world!" The kids and I started talking about this one day, and it was funny the different responses, but so typical of each age.
How much do you love Mommy?

Molly (4), "One world, that's it!" I guess to a 4 year old, one world seems big enough.

Meredith (6), "Nine hundred worlds." Always trying to beat out little sister.

Ryan (9), "100 points out of 100 points. An A+" Answer indictative of the Science test he got back that day.

Madeline (12), with the look of someone who just took a sip of spoiled milk. "WHAT? Why are you asking me that?!!" Trying to maintain "coolness" because she's 12!

**I love to hear answers to this question. Ask your kids, and if anything is especially funny, let me know! ****

That Beach Bum!!

2009-08-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: It's easier to carry all the crap than drag the kids!

I always felt bad that Brad was always the one who lugs all the bags to and from the beach. He packs the bags, the cooler, the towels in the car. He lugs the bags, the cooler, the chairs onto the beach and off the beach. Poor guy. Today, I realized he was the smart one! My usual task is to lug the KIDS on and off the beach. Four of them. Bags don't pull you back with all their might to get you to stay somewhere. Coolers don't drop to the ground when you try to pick them up. Beach chairs don't run in the other direction when you call them to leave. Towels don't cry and whine that they want to stay!

Barack My World: Our Day with the Obamas (well not quite, but almost)

2009-08-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Forget the clean underwear. Make sure when you leave the house in the morning, you have on a great shirt and some spectacular earrings. You just never know when you could be on national tv!

Not thinking about the fact the Obamas were vacationing in Oak Bluffs, we made our way over to Martha's Vineyard on the ferry. It was crazy from the start to finish; helicopters flying over, newscasters everywhere, "I vacationed at MV with Obamas" t-shirts hanging in every shop window. Creative food names on chalkboards set out on side walks like; "Obamaritas," "Barack-O-Tacos," "Presidential Beers." I had the "Barack My World" ice cream: coffee ice cream, Macadamia nuts and caramel swirl.

Mannequins dressed up like Barack and Michelle and messages to them on windows, "You can eat for free Sasha and Malia." Free?? This made my 6 year old mad! "Why can they eat for free but we have to pay and who are those girls anyway?" At least they are paying for their own home rental though- $35,000 a week!

We were just hanging and were approached by some camera men from NBC. I never would have expected them to use the footage! Check out Meredith doing the "Happy Dance" and Ann Curry imitating her later. My kids are so shy, aren't they?

ENJOY THE SHOW!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

"Not to be mean, but why do sea lions have the smelliest breath ever?"

2009-08-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Sometimes even the dumbest of questions can get you far in life.

"Not to be mean, but why do sea lions have the smelliest breath ever?"

This was the question that brought us all the way to the first ever private "Afternoon with the Sea Lions" that the Buffalo Zoo ever gave. The kids got a tour of everything sea lion: their fridge filled with food, where they sleep at night, and where they train. We got to ask some questions along the way, but the highlight was getting kissed by a sea lion!

Raising hand to ask: "I like monkeys better. Where are the monkeys?"

Raising hand to ask: "Can we go swimming with the sea lions?

Dear Maddie,

2009-08-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, the almost 12 year old wants in on this blog thing. She knows way more than any adult of course simply because she does, and she is willing to offer answers/insight/wisdom on topics and problems relating to her age group. I myself can't wait to hear what she has to say because for 6 months, I've been listening to grunts for hellos, mumbles for goodbyes, and receive the glare meaning "Why are you asking me ANY question?" when I ask her ANY question. Shoot her a question and she'll get back to you (when she feels like it and only if I don't bug her about it).

Going to Disney with Doritos in our Denali

2009-08-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Sometimes junk food is necessary for survival. Dont beat yourself up over it.

I didnt realize the kids liked Doritos so much until I took them to the store to get treats for our 24 hour ride to Florida. By the end of the shopping trip, we had (only) 6 bags of Doritos in our cart. And only the Cool Ranch variety. I offered them other treats, begging them to trade in at least one bag for the Nacho Cheese variety. I was a little concerned the kids would get sick of eating Doritos and only Doritos for the 24 hour trip, but I worried for nothing. They kept the 4 year old from escaping her seat and we even had them for breakfast in the hotel!!

Did You Brush Your Teeth Yet?

2009-07-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: You may have to repeat yourself several thousand times before people hear you.

I feel like I ask this question all the time so I wanted to figure out how many times I actually say it. Four kids, twice a day=8X each day. That's 56X a week and 224X a month and 2,688X a year. That's mind blowing, isnt it? I repeat myself two thousand six hundred and eighty eight times every year with that question alone. It's quite possible that those are the words I've said the most as a mother, if you think about it. Up for close seconds are "Say thank you," "Clean up your room," "Make your bed," "Get your fingers out of your nose," "Stop fighting" and "Please flush the toilet."

PS. One good way to get your child to allow you to help them brush their teeth is as you brush, talk about all the food you see in there; "I see apples," "I'm getting the chicken out now," or make up silly food. Also, you tell them you see friends in there and have to pull them out; like "Oh, there's Mary, I see Michael." Etc.

The Old Woman in the Shoe

2009-07-19T12:40:00.002-07:00

LESSON OF THE DAY: Dont have so many kids that you don't know what to do.

It's not like we're Jon & Kate Plus 8 or Octomom who has kids swarming all over her house. But the question, "How many kids do I have again?" is one I ask myself everytime I am leaving somewhere and I know I brought kids with me. I know someday I will leave sans kid. I'll get in the car, get out of the lot, or maybe even get all the way home, but at some point I will drift back into reality and realize my kid is wandering the soccer field without me. It's inevitable. I bet it's a fear of many mothers....well, at least moms with lots of kids but not enough brain cells left. Has this ever happened to anyone?

Here Comes the Stamm-pede!

2009-07-19T12:40:00.001-07:00

If the Stamm kids were animals, this is what they'd look like. Wherever they go, it seems like a huge puff of dust is left behind them. They're loud. You can hear them coming from a mile away. They plow over anything in their path.

This blog is dedicated to my beloved herd of Buffalo. This is their story.