Momo Fali's

In Heaven You Don't Have to Watch Your Step

2009-07-09T07:12:00.007-04:00

In our house, we discuss faith a lot. We attend mass regularly, I work at the Catholic school where both kids are students and we often pray as a family. When the children are older, we'll probably drink beer and play bingo together...because, that's what we Catholics do.

But it seems I have more explaining to do in the faith department, because as we passed a cemetery the other day, my seven year old son asked, "Mom, is that heaven?"

No son, that's where people walk their dogs and don't pick up the poop.

Friends

2009-07-07T07:01:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning, my seven year old son was playing in our back yard. I looked out the window to see him talking to himself...non-stop.

I watched for a few minutes then I walked outside and asked, "Who are you talking to?"

He replied, "My friends."

"What friends?"

He held out his arm and pointed toward the garage, "The cars. The cars are my friends."

I found this oddly comforting. Not the fact that my son was going all David Hasselhoff on me, but because these friends of his were real objects.

When my daughter was young, she had an entire entourage of imaginary friends. Friends we couldn't see. We would get in a lot of trouble when one of them was sitting on the couch and we didn't realize it. For the record, you can smash something that isn't even there.

Her favorite friend was Simba. Simba went everywhere with us. Simba ate with us, watched TV with us and even ran errands with us.

And, one time, we accidentally left Simba in a church pew.

After Mass, as the entire congregation was beginning to exit the church, we stood at the back of the building trying to comfort our crying daughter who was throwing a fit because we were leaving her friend behind.

Trying to talk sense into her did no good. Our little girl was crushed. So we did the only thing we could think of doing. People watched as my husband walked back to our empty pew, grabbed at the air, "picked up" Simba and delivered him to our daughter's waiting arms.

Now do you see why I'm happy about my son's new friends? You can't take an SUV to church. Though I will say, his friends do cost more to feed.

Reasons I Love America

2009-07-04T08:14:00.006-04:00

1. Freedom of speech

2. Vegas, baby

3. Maryland crab cakes

4. The Grand Canyon

5. Baseball

6. The Great Lakes (okay, not really...but, they always get the short-stick and I kind of feel sorry for them)

7. Hawaii is ours

8. The United States Marines

9. Tiger Woods

10. Rolling Rock

Pride

2009-07-01T07:20:00.008-04:00

Last Saturday, my 10 year old daughter and I woke at 4:00am to volunteer at breakfast for the Special Olympics. My daughter worked, literally, like it was her job. Running from table to table, wiping them down, pushing in chairs, throwing away trash.

She worked so intensely that she was sweating, and at one point a man pulled me over to his table where a group of people told me they "had never seen a kid work as hard as the girl in the blue shirt". When my kid walked over, they gave her a round of applause. I got to puff up my chest and tell them she was mine.

My seven year old son's defective heart has been acting up lately. He's been complaining of a "funny feeling...like a butterfly" and yesterday his cardiologist hooked him up to a monitor. He has five large leads stuck to his chest and he wore the monitor over his shoulder all day as he ran and played yesterday. He has been a perfect patient. I'm proud to be his mom.

My husband has been working like a maniac. Long, long hours at the office, then hours more from home in the late evening. He often doesn't eat dinner until 10:00pm, and stays up until the wee hours on his laptop. Then he gets up at 6:00am to walk both dogs, rain or shine, sleet or snow and on the weekends he spends lots of time with his kids. Everything he does, he does for his family. He is a good man.

As for being proud of myself? Well, at least I have that whole being able to hang a spoon on the end of my nose thing.

Random Realizations II

2009-06-28T20:23:00.008-04:00

1. The public library is pretty much the biggest scam on the planet. Free books, free music, free movies for everyone! Take five books if you want...we trust you.

2. If my son can do something he knows is wrong, he will.

3. I love watching my kids play ball in the summer, but by the time July rolls around with her 90 degree heat and 90% humidity, and her peri-menopausal, PMS attitude (oh wait...that's me) I'm kind of over it. And, at least half of me secretly hopes they don't make it to the tournaments.

4. If you happen to be sitting under a tree at your daughter's softball game and a big purple glob plops onto your shirt and pants, you will be disgusted because you think it's bird poop. Then you will be really relieved when you realize it's just a rotten mulberry.

5. I have had bad headaches since I was eight years old. Last Tuesday, I eliminated sugar from my diet and I haven't had a headache since. You would think this would make me stop eating chocolate forever. You would be wrong.

6. When someone asks me if I'm doing Atkins or South Beach and I tell them I'm doing the Suzanne Somers diet and they laugh at me, is it wrong for me to hit them over the head with a Thighmaster?

7. Heterosexual men shouldn't walk miniature poodles. Okay to own. Not okay to walk.

8. My 10 year old daughter waits to cut her toenails until I begin referring to them as talons.

9. I asked her if she would mind if I shared that toenail tidbit, and she said, "Not as long as you post a picture of them."

10. I wouldn't do that to you.

11. If you buy a black lab puppy from a breeder because the bloodlines are healthy, and in the first eight weeks that you have her she gets a UTI, mites, two staph infections, anemia, drinks latex paint and eats a rock, you're going to want to kick yourself for not going to the pound and getting a mutt. You'll also want to kick the breeder.

12. Then you'll see her adorable puppy face and none of that will even matter.

Now Hiring: Bathroom Monitor

2009-06-25T08:33:00.007-04:00

The other day my seven year old son came in the room where I was reading and proudly announced, "I just peed in the bathtub!"

I put down the newspaper. "What? Why?"

"Because my sister was using the toilet and I needed to pee really bad."

This conversation would make perfect sense...if we didn't have two other toilets.

The next afternoon, he was eating some grapes when he dropped his entire bowl on the floor. Because we have two dogs, there is no such thing as a five-second rule in this house. My husband told him to go wash off the grapes before eating any more of them.

After a few minutes my son returned with any empty bowl.

I asked, "Where are your grapes?"

"I put them down the drain."

I hesitantly asked, "In the kitchen sink?"

"No. In the bathroom."

My BBQ skewers have never come in so handy.

Why I'm a Terrible Mother

2009-06-23T06:56:00.008-04:00

I was sick yesterday. Really sick. Dizzy and exhausted with a horrible headache that is still lingering today. I thought, maybe, it was the ~~case of~~ beer I drank while camping over the weekend. Until my daughter came down with it too.

My daughter rarely gets sick. She is going into the fifth grade and hasn't thrown up since March of her second grade year. And, I better not have jinxed myself by typing that.

The fact that she doesn't get ill very often makes this story even worse. This one event guarantees I will never win Mother of the Year.

In August, 2003 my husband won a fun-filled, family trip from his employer. He received four nights in a nice Cleveland hotel, four tickets to Cedar Point (the world's best amusement park...just sayin'), eight tickets to Sea World (which meant we got to go two days in a row), four tickets to an Indians game and a fully-paid dinner at an expensive restaurant.

We drove up to Cleveland on Wednesday, August 13. The morning of the 14th, as we were preparing for our hour-long drive to Cedar Point, my daughter complained of a stomachache. By the time we got to the amusement park, she had a fever. I gave her some Tylenol and she did her best to have a good time.

Late that afternoon the power went out at the park. Luckily we all had our feet firmly planted on the ground and because we had been there for over six hours, my daughter was sick, and we still had two days at Sea World ahead of us, we decided it was a good time to leave. We hopped in the car and started to look for a gas station, as our car was nearly on empty.

Only problem? Every gas station along the highway back to Cleveland didn't have power either. And, when we made it back to our hotel on the fumes of the gas tank we realized there was no electricity there...oh, and no water either.

By this time, my daughter was feeling very, very ill. A friend who lives in Cleveland brought us a small amount of gas and despite my daughter's stomach pain, headache and fever, we dragged her to Sea World (they had power) the next day in hopes it would take her mind off of it.

We did the same thing the day after that, even though she was still feeling sick. We went to the restaurant that night and she wouldn't eat a thing. We then went to the Indians game, where we stayed for maybe two innings before leaving because she felt so bad. That evening, she was pathetic and so horribly sick that we almost took her to the hospital.

On Sunday morning, as we were returning to Columbus, she was feeling better, but I started to feel sick. By the time we got home two hours later I was in such pain that my husband took me to the emergency room. I had all the same symptoms as my daughter, but I was only sick for a short time before I knew there was something really wrong.

After a couple of hours and a few tests, including a spinal tap, it was determined that I had viral meningitis. Not the kind that kills you, but still. I spent the next four days in a dark room until my symptoms improved.

That's right, we had been dragging our daughter around amusement parks for three days, in the August heat, during the great blackout of 2003, making her stay at a hotel that didn't even have ice or a flushable toilet and she had meningitis the whole time.

It's six years later and I still feel guilty.

He Gets it Naturally

2009-06-19T08:03:00.007-04:00

My daughter and son recently stayed at my mom's house for the night and she treated them to dinner at a local restaurant.

The three of them were seated in a booth directly next to two men. My mom said that one of guys looked very disheveled, and the other had a beard down to his waist.

As much as my mom told him not to, my seven year old son could not stop staring. Finally, one of the men started to talk to my boy.

And, because my mom knows my son's history, she quickly turned to the bearded man and said, "You probably shouldn't ask him any questions. He's very honest."

Nice, Mom. Now we know where my son learned how to be so subtle.

Got Muscles?

2009-06-17T06:36:00.004-04:00

The other day our puppy, Daisy, wouldn't stop throwing up. After a trip to the vet, a half-dozen x-rays and a barium study, her doctor sent us home with some special canned food and a bottle of Pepcid.

That afternoon, my son was sitting on my lap when he eyed one of Daisy's toys sitting on the floor; a ball you fill with kibble that she can roll around until the treats fall out.

He asked, "Can I put some little bones in Daisy's ball?"

I replied, "No. Not today, buddy. She can't have anything hard right now. The vet gave us those cans because the food inside is soft and squishy."

Then he ran his hand up my sleeve and said, "Oh. Like your arms."

The Meat Wagon

2009-06-15T08:53:00.014-04:00

On a fair June day, three great women came a very long way.
They brought me a CD and a super-cute bag,

and that tote was full of yummy swag!

I got a tiara, a sash, and a bouquet made of paper.

And, even the dogs got treats. Beef and bacon flavor!

They made us a lock, reminding us to close the door.

And, there was beef, sausage, a duck and more!

All in all, it was a fantastic day made possible by people across the USA.

I'm not sure if my heart has ever felt such elation,
and now my family won't die of starvation!

Generosity

2009-06-10T20:28:00.017-04:00

Back in the spring of 2002, my husband and I were told by a pediatric cardiologist that our baby would be born with a very rare heart defect. His best guess was that our son would be premature, then be sedated and ventilated until he reached five pounds and at that point, he would have open heart surgery.

When the news came that our child's heart was getting worse and he would, indeed, be born seven weeks too soon, people in our lives starting mobilizing.

My best friend organized a massive effort to have people bring us dinner. She knew we would be at the hospital a lot, and we still had our three year old daughter to take care of. It was unbelievably thoughtful.

Which is why it should make perfect sense that we declined the offer.

My husband and I felt sure we could handle our household, his job, the dog, our daughter and a baby in intensive care. We handled it all right, but I look back and realize it was the most stressful time in my life. Luckily, our son proved his doctor wrong and he came home after three weeks. If his hospitalization had gone on for as long as the doctors expected, I don't know how I would have held things together.

That story leads me to Tuesday, when I went to the garage to take some meat out of our upright freezer only to find that someone had left the door open. Water was dripping from the door and every bit of food had turned to a gooey mess.

What does my son being in the hospital have to do with a door left ajar? Wait for it...

Everything...everything...was completely thawed. All the beef and chicken we buy in bulk to save money, a big turkey, and lots of fish my husband had caught. Thousands of dollars in food. Gone.

I felt sick. I cried. This was food we bought despite losing our business last year. This mess was discovered just days after finding out that our health insurance at my husband's new job starts the deductible over again on July 1st. The deductible we just met. Oh sorry, the $4000 deductible we just met. Oh, and before that insurance started February 1st, we had just met the deductible on our old insurance. That baby with the heart defect? He's seven now and had his ninth surgery...in January.

In case you're not counting, that's THREE different deductibles we will meet in ONE calendar year. Our premiums are crazy-high too. We will put out over $20,000 in health insurance this year alone.

After realizing the food wasn't salvageable, I did what anyone would do. I called my husband and then I starting venting to everyone who would listen. And, people did listen. Not only that, they did something about it.

Yesterday morning I received an e-mail saying that three great ladies would be at my door on Sunday with food to restock my freezer. A mighty generous statement, especially given that they live roughly 400 miles away.

It turns out that one person said he'd like to help us out then it kind of snowballed and other wonderful people got on board. People started mobilizing, and this time we didn't really have a say. When I tried to stop them I was told, "This train has already left the station."

All I can say is that I will do my best to pay this forward. I promise.

I couldn't turn them down like I did my best friend all those years ago. And, I'm betting that when I look back at this time in my life, I won't think of how stressful it was, but rather how generous people can be.

They didn't do it for recognition. As a matter of fact, they planned on keeping it private. But I was not about to let this go unmentioned. My pride can take a ride in the back seat for this trip.

When I told my neighbor about it, she got goosebumps and said, "Thank you for telling me this. I needed to hear it because there is so much bad in the world."

She's right. But, you know what? There's a lot of good too.

Little Picasso

2009-06-09T08:31:00.008-04:00

Long-time readers may remember these pictures my son drew of me and my husband. Let's see if he's advanced in the last year, shall we?

This is me. I am happy that he gave me legs that go all the way to my neck, but my square hair-cut isn't very flattering. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mommy Scissorhands.

This is my husband. As you can see by the size of his pecs, he's been working out. The look of shock on his face is probably a reaction to the fact that I cleaned the bathrooms, because with as hairy as he is, those drains can get pretty clogged. Maybe I should give him a trim.

Frankly, Scarlett...

2009-06-07T06:55:00.011-04:00

I turned 38 last week. During the last month I experienced the following. I am sharing this with you so that you will recognize the signs ~~of the apocalypse~~ that you're nearing forty...

* If you pull a shoulder muscle...in your sleep.

* Which leads to your husband buying you a Tempur-Pedic pillow for your birthday...

* and, you're actually happy about that.

* If you find a gray hair...in your chin.

* If you fall asleep on the couch at roughly the same time you went out to keg parties in college.

* When you go shoe shopping and consider how comfortable the high-heels are, versus how high the high-heels are.

* If someone asks, "Is that a tattoo?"...

* and you reply, "No, it's a spider vein."

And, you really know you're nearing forty...

* When you take all of the above and completely own it...

* because the best thing about getting older is knowing that life is too short to give a damn.

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-06-04T16:29:00.004-04:00

So, what do you think of my new design? Don't answer that if you don't think it's awesome. Because A) It is ALL KINDS of awesome and B) It's my birthday.

If you want something pretty and shiny, go see her. I LOVE her. Even if she did speak a lot of Greek and code and I just sat there and scratched my head and then she totally knew I was scratching my head and just MADE this. Amazing. She is so talented. My only talent is being able to hang a spoon on the end of my nose.

Read One Hour Before, or Two Hours After Eating

2009-06-03T08:04:00.001-04:00

Day before yesterday I laughed at someone for stepping on a dead baby bird. I didn't find the dead bird funny, but rather the picture of grace which is the person slipping on a city sidewalk. I like to watch people fall. I love AFV. It's kind of a sickness.

So guess who came to visit me yesterday? Karma. While working in the yard (okay, not so much working in the yard as spraying Round-Up on clovers that have apparently been sneaking steroids through the gate) I stepped on a dead baby bird.

You would think that was the worst thing I've ever stepped on.

Long ago, on a cruise, after a few too many drinks with mini-umbrellas and a certain ingredient that rhymes with "bum", I left the ship's dance club with friends. I was wearing high-heeled sandals that were killing my feet and decided to walk the carpeted halls barefoot.

As we rounded a corner, my bare foot landed squarely in a pile of someone's fresh vomit.

It may have been 12 years ago, but I am still telling myself that it was just a spilled strawberry shake.

One Heck of an Antioxidant

2009-06-01T06:02:00.000-04:00

My son was sitting on my Mom's lap eating some cherries when she said, "It's good that you like cherries because they're very good for you. If you have bad stuff in your body, they help get that bad stuff out."

My son replied, "You mean, like if I swallowed a gun and then ate a cherry, it would help me poop it out?"

I would say he kind of gets the concept. Kind of.

Going Down Swinging...or Singing

2009-05-28T07:34:00.002-04:00

Tuesday night, my 10 year old daughter and her school softball team competed in the district championship. They lost. By one run.

That day was “Field Day” at school. The sun was out, it was hot and humid, and they ran obstacle courses for most of the morning and afternoon. By the time they got on the softball field at 6:30, they were tired.

Not to mention, out of the 10 girls on the team, one was out with a head injury and another (who played so we wouldn’t have to forfeit) had recently stepped on some nails. She played right through her pain. Possibly because my husband told her to “gnaw her foot off if she had to”. He's a charmer, my guy.

These girls gave it all they had. All the hard work and determination paid off, but not quite as much as they would have liked. After they accepted their second place trophy and watched as the first place team celebrated, the tears began to flow.

But, my daughter didn’t cry. Not a drop. As a matter of fact, she was smiling and laughing…and happy. She was completely and totally proud of herself and her team, and she had every right to be.

As we were walking to the car I said, “I’m really proud of you. You pitched well and you hit great. But most of all, I’m really happy with your attitude right now.”

She replied, “Yeah. I’ve been telling myself that even if we lost, I would be really glad that we made it as far as we did. I thought a lot about it and that's the same thing I'm going to tell myself if I ever get on American Idol.”

It's good to know that her successful softball season didn't keep her head from being in the clouds.

Maybe I Need Eye Spackle Instead

2009-05-26T07:12:00.001-04:00

Friday afternoon, I picked up my daughter at school, ran home to pick up the puppy, took her to the vet (then took her back home after her appointment), then quickly got my son and his gear together and drove him to t-ball practice. Also, what else is new? This is why I sometimes forget to breathe.

After practice, the kids and I stopped by a carry-out for some ~~Corona~~ milk then drove home to make a quick pit-stop before heading out to a cookout. On the way home I gave everyone jobs so that we could get to our friends' house on time, because I knew they were waiting on us.

I told my son, "Your jobs are to take off your cleats, put your socks down the laundry chute, go to the bathroom, wash your hands and grab your Crocs."

Then I looked in the rear view mirror at my daughter and said, "You let both dogs out and feed them."

She nodded then asked, "What are your jobs?"

I replied, "I'm going to give the puppy her medicine, give your brother his medicine, and I need to touch up my makeup."

My daughter questioned me, "Makeup? Why do you need to do that?"

I tried to reassure her that I wouldn't be cutting into her play time. "I just need to touch up under my eyes."

"Oh. I can understand that."

I sarcastically replied, "Gee, thanks!"

"No, Mom. Just because you don't get enough sleep and you always look so tired."

"Uh. Thanks, again!"

"Wait. I mean, everyone needs eye makeup, but especially you."

My daughter. The girl can dig herself in a hole and she doesn't even need a shovel.

I Blame Wikipedia

2009-05-22T06:14:00.000-04:00

Last night, my ten year old daughter played in the first round of softball playoffs for her spring league (regular season champions, thankyouverymuch).

Even though she worked on homework from the time she got home from school until the time we left for the game, she still had a bundle of it left to finish after her shower. Because her teacher allows it and because it was almost 9:30 PM, while she completed her math, I worked on typing a report for her. I didn't change her writing, no matter how much it killed me not to.

I typed that paper word for word. Okay, okay...there was one exception.

Her report on slave turned activist, Sojourner Truth, had facts...I'll give her that, but I'm pretty sure she took a little liberty with the sentence, "I think Sojourner Truth had a great sense of humor".

A Day in the Life II

2009-05-20T11:16:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was supposed to be a laid back day around here. No softball, no soccer, no therapy, no appointments. Plus, my son was home sick so I didn't even have to go to work.

I have now come to realize that there is no such thing as a laid back day.

Back in 2007, I wrote a list of things no one ever told me before I had kids. Yesterday, I added a few more items. Such as...

...it pays to have long limbs, even if that means you once had a high school teacher who nicknamed you orangutan arms. Hypothetically. Because, yesterday I was able to steer my car and hold a bag under the chin of my vomiting son who was sitting on the passenger side of the back seat.

...if you try to read a book with a seven year old around, it is like brushing your teeth with one individual toothbrush bristle. You'll get the job done, but it's going to take awhile.

...if your son sees you allowing the dogs to bite a few kernels of corn off a cob which you are holding tightly in your hand, he will take the corn cob he is supposed to be eating, throw it to the ground and let the dogs take turns biting off chunks big enough to cause intestinal blockage in an elephant. Then he'll sit back and watch as the dogs swallow them whole.

...when you attempt to pour spoonfuls of hydrogen peroxide down your dog's throat to induce vomiting, she really won't like you very much.

...when your son is peeing and completely misses the toilet, it's not necessarily because his aim is bad. It could be that his sister is standing at the sink and he's trying to pee on her shoe.

...even though the drinks at the circus cost $8.00, go ahead and splurge for more than one so you don't have to share a straw. Especially if your son has an upper respiratory infection. And, you have asthma. Unless, of course, you think breathing is overrated.

Tell me boys and girls...how did yesterday treat you?

Baby Fay

2009-05-18T09:51:00.008-04:00

Today is Grandparent's Day at my kids' school. Of course, my son is sick which means he'll be missing this valuable opportunity to entertain the masses. So, for your listening pleasure, here is seven seconds of him singing for you, as he did for anyone who would listen while we were out running errands on Friday.

This includes everyone at my husband's office, random people on the playground and every employee at LensCrafters.

And, if anyone from our county agency is watching, maybe we can end our 11 month-long battle about whether or not my son needs speech therapy.

Random Realizations

2009-05-15T07:14:00.001-04:00

1. If you have two dogs, and two kids who often clog the toilet, you're going to be dealing with a lot of poop.

2. I cried yesterday because a little boy was nice to my son. Never underestimate the power of teaching your child to be a good friend.

3. I like to wear my size 11, orange Crocs...mostly just to embarrass my daughter, who calls them my "clown shoes".

4. Insomnia is slowly killing me.

5. The LOST season finale was Wednesday night and I am kind of freaking out about what I'm going to do when the series ends next year.

6. Freaking out about a TV show going off the air is pretty sad.

7. I am reading an advance copy of "Rage Against the Meshugenah". A raw look at male depression by Danny Evans from Dad Gone Mad. A book which made me laugh AND cry in the prologue.

8. You should buy that book.

9. A puppy with a UTI is really hard to housetrain.

10. Dogs will take any pill as long as it's wrapped in cheese.

11. I like beer.

12. My husband works really hard and very long hours.

13. I miss my husband.

14. I will be 38 in a couple of weeks and realized I have been telling people that I'm 38 for the last year.

15. I love my little blog.

Tenacity

2009-05-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

I often talk about how far my son has come and how tenacious he is. Sometimes I am blown away by how many things from which he has bounced back. But, he isn't the only person I know who has managed to succeed when faced with insurmountable struggles. My cousin, Shrevie, has been through some very hard times.

When he was just a kid, Shrevie got kicked in the head by a mule. I don't remember it, because Shrevie is quite a bit older than me, but I've heard the story a million times. For some reason, he was trying to braid the mule's tail when it reared up and kicked him right in the forehead. Shrevie was knocked unconscious. He awoke two days later with crossed eyes and a lisp.

Because the kids teased him, Shrevie took to sports to prove himself. He started out as the team manager, fetching water and towels for the high school kids. When they finally gave him a chance, Shrevie gave it his all as a kicker. Despite his crossed eyes, he managed to punt the ball 20 yards!

Unfortunately, that wasn't good enough for Ohio State, where he dreamed of going to college. But, as luck would have it, Texas was quite interested. Ironically, because so many children in Texas get kicked in the head by mules, Shrevie wasn't the only one on the team who sometimes ran the wrong way down the field.

This is me and Shrevie back in the day...just before he left for school. Just look at how happy he was. Someone had just given him a Member's Only jacket.

Shrevie is married with kids now. He unfortunately took another hit to his eye in what he refers to as Pea-Shootpalooza, but he is doing well. He left Texas years ago and is trying to find his way back to Ohio. No one has the heart to tell him that our fine state isn't in the Mid-Atlantic, but we feel confident he'll make it home someday.

Oh, and this post? Is nothing but a big, fat, cross-eyed joke on NukeDad. NukeDad, you've been blunked. Here, let me break that down for you...that's blog punked. Even if you're my hero, you are still due some paybacks. And apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks you needed this.

A Special Day

2009-05-10T20:13:00.004-04:00

Seven years ago today, I gave birth to my son. He was born seven weeks early because his heart defect was worsening in utero.

The hospital where he was born was not equipped to handle his heart problems, and our local Children's Hospital was not equipped to have me deliver him there. So, while I was in recovery following my c-section, a transport team came and took him from me. I spent about 30 seconds looking at him before he was whisked away and taken across town.

In 2002, May 10th fell on a Friday. On Sunday, the hospital where I was recovering allowed me to leave so I could go see my son. It was Mother's Day.

Mother's Day was the first time I stroked my son's soft hair, the first time I held his fingers in mine and the first time I ever held him in my arms. I have done those things thousands of times since then, but I will never forget our first Mother's Day together.

This year, my special day and his birthday fell on he same day. We had breakfast in bed together, we both opened gifts and got cards.

Then, I stroked his hair, I held his hand and I held him in my arms. I did all the things I did with him seven years ago, but now he's bigger and stronger and he's shown that heart defect who's boss. I have watched that sick, small child grow into a great kid.

I am writing this late, after he's gone to bed. I don't know if there will ever be a Mother's Day as special as that first one we shared, but today came pretty darn close.

Happy Birthday, Buddy. Your Mom loves you lots.

Is There Something in My Teeth?

2009-05-08T07:13:00.003-04:00

A couple of years ago I was at a restaurant with my friend, Bean, enjoying some cold beer and an order of spinach and artichoke dip when our waitress came by the table to see how we were doing. She stayed to chat for a few minutes.

After she walked away, Bean looked at me and said, "You have some spinach in your teeth."

"What?"

"You have some spinach in your teeth."

I had not taken a bite since before our server stopped by. "Seriously? You mean, it was there the whole time we were talking to her?"

Bean replied, "Well, I didn't want to say anything in front of her. Maybe she didn't notice."

"Right! Because all that laughing and smiling was completely hiding my teeth!"

Night before last, I went to happy hour with my husband and some of his employees. There was a woman sitting directly across from me whom I had never met.

Because she could apparently sense how boring I am, she ordered a shot of tequila as soon as I sat down. After she had finished, I noticed a bit of salt was left on her cheek.

Bean went and traumatized me, so I couldn't take my eyes off of the salt and I felt like I had to tell her. After a few seconds, I leaned across the table and discreetly said, "You have a little something on your cheek."

She thanked me and we went about our evening. I sat next to my husband's boss and talked for about an hour before leaving.

And wouldn't you know that when I arrived at home I looked in my bathroom mirror to find a lovely chunk of fried mozzarella stuck to my chin?