Moms & Dads | Sun Sentinel Blogs

South Florida Fairgrounds: A great place for graduation

Fri, 18 May 2012 15:21:00 GMT

I was skeptical when I learned my daughter's high school graduation was going to be at the South Florida Fairgrounds. I pictured the South Florida Fair and its rides, crowds and live animals.

But I saw how wrong I was after attending her graduation yesterday at the fairgrounds' Expo Center. The center was clean, well air conditioned, had a good sound system and a good parking plan. It easily sat the few thousand people in attendance and there was no panic over who was going to get the best seats.

The Palm Beach County School District moved graduations to the fairgrounds this year from the Palm Beach County Convention Center to save $100,000. I have to congratulate the district for doing something right.

Photo: Sun-Sentinel

Should teens taste parents' wine?

Thu, 03 May 2012 16:20:00 GMT

My husband is becoming an amateur wine conoisseur, and has been offering tastes to my kids. One of my teens has become quite interested in whatever we are sampling.

This makes me uncomfortable. Should she be enjoying alcohol, even it's just a taste, at this age? Does wine become a gateway to harder drinks?

It's been an interesting change of attitude for my teenager. She was appalled a few years ago when we started sampling wines, having absorbed the message, beaten into her head in school, that alcohol was a horrible product associated with drunk driving. Now that she's getting older, I hope she learns that wine is acceptable in a glass with dinner, but not in excess at the high school parties I'm sure she will experience.

Photo: Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune

Happy 420 Day, kids! Don't eat those brownies

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:01:00 GMT

I had never heard of 420 Day, also known as "National Smoke Weed Day," until our high school principal robocalled us last night.

He warned us that kids were going to be skipping classes and bringing unacceptable foods (pot brownies?) onto the campus that could be confiscated.

I had to ask my kids what he was talking about, and they knew exactly. April 20 is a designated date (and time, 4:20) to smoke pot, apparently begun in California in the 1970s.

Not sure why anyone who smokes pot would wait for a designated date and time. But the principal's call did open up a conversation with my kids about drugs, so thanks, Mr. Latson, for the heads-up!

Photo: Rick Wilking/Reuters

Should college freshmen room with friends?

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 13:15:00 GMT

A dorm at the University of Florida is about to become an extension of our high school. This is not a good thing.

A large group of kids, and probably even more that I haven't heard about, are rooming together and all choosing the same dorm. The dorm has filled up, so kids who got locked out, including my daughter, are picking dorms as nearby as possible.

When I went to college, you got placed with a roommate you didn't know, and the school didn't consider whether we would be compatible. Now, kids want to control every aspect of the process, from choosing their roommates in the spring and entering the lottery together to picking a dorm with the perfect location for an excellent social life.

Fortunately, UF is a big school, so I hope the kids make friends beyond the security blanket of their high school buddies.

Photo: Mark Randall/Sun-Sentinel

Is your teen obsessed with One Direction?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 14:32:37 GMT

OMG! One Direction is going to be on Saturday Night Live this weekend! Hold everything!

My 13-year-old talks about nothing but this group. She saw them perform live on "The Today Show" a few weeks ago and plans to go to their shows this summer when they come to Florida.

TBH, as the kids would say, or to be honest, I don't see what the big deal is about this British boy band manufactured by Simon Cowell of "American Idol" fame. They competed on "The X Factor" in England and placed third. Their songs are OK, their dancing is mediocre and they don't have much charisma.

I do remember obsessing over pop stars in my early teens, namely David Cassidy and Bobby Sherman. I can relate to the thrill. But take some dancing lessons, guys!

Zumba: Do dancers know what they're dancing to?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 14:50:00 GMT

During a recent zumba class, the instructor told us the song we were dancing to is "Rated XX." I was immediately intrigued and had to find out what it was about.

I asked the instructor and he didn't seem comfortable talking about it, so I was on my own. Since I don't know the names of any of the songs, this was a complicated task.

I finally found the song, "Ai Si Eu Te Pego," "Oh, If I Could Get My Hands On You," which is in Portuguese. I got a colleague to translate, and it wasn't too offensive. But I started researching other lyrics and found some that were much more risque, especially "Allez Ola Ole," which is in French.

So every time we dance to these songs now, I smile, knowing that most exercisers have no clue what they're dancing to. Or maybe they do know and are living out a secret fantasy.

FPG photo/Janeris Marte

"Carly's Voice": Autism, from a parent's perspective

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:02:00 GMT

When we see a parent with a disabled child, we sympathize. But after reading "Carly's Voice," a new book by Arthur Fleischmann and his autistic daughter, Carly, I realized I had no clue about the struggles and agonizing decisions that go on when the rest of us are not looking.

I went to college with Arthur and his wife, Tammy, who was my good friend. But we lost touch over the years and until Facebook came along I didn't know their teenage daughter, Carly, had severe autism and is unable to talk. The book describes her frequent crying, constant rocking, sensitivity to noise and inability to sleep through the night as her parents search desperately for help.

Their savior, besides excellent caregivers, ends up being computers that allow Carly to "speak." They learn she has extraordinary intelligence and has been absorbing everything she has been hearing when her parents thought she wasn't listening. Carly has since become something of a celebrity, appearing on several news and talk shows. The book shows how persistent parents who don't give up can allow their kids to achieve their potential and find some satisfaction despite the constant roadblocks.

Photo courtesy Arthur Fleischmann

The Big Ask: The new way to get a prom date

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:41:33 GMT

Remember the olden days when a boy asked a girl to the prom by calling her on the phone? Well that is so 1970s.

The new way to ask your date, at least at my kids' high school, is to do an elaborate set-up that the whole school observes. Lots of showmanship goes into it, and the asker needs to be pretty sure his date will say yes so there is no embarrassment after all he has gone through.

Among the asks I have heard about: The boy bakes brownies and when the group of friends gets to the bottom of the pan, the question is waiting for her. In another, a girl who is a swimmer swam to the end of her lane, and the boy was waiting with a towel painted with the words "Prom?"

Another creative boy placed tennis balls that said PROM? in the fence of the school's court. As for my daughter, her date sent her on a scavenger hunt around the school, with different teachers giving her different letters of the word PROM.

You gotta love the creativity, but there also must be pressure for the next kid to come up with an even better presentation that the whole school is going to see.

Photo: Marvin Joseph/Washington Post

The savings are priceless for telecommuting parents

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 21:22:44 GMT

Do you have a whole workday before you get to your actual job? I know I do. It’s not easy getting everyone ready and where they need to be in the morning. It’s no picnic making arrangements for how everyone is going to get home at the end of the day either.

I just discovered a relatively new campaign to help stretched-thin working parents trying to juggle the responsibilities of work and home life. This week is the second annual National Telework Week, which was designed by Telework Exchange to show businesses and employees the financial and environmental benefits of working from home. And if you’re a parent, there are benefits for the well-being of you and your family, as well.

Sara Sutton Fell, CEO and founder of FlexJobs.com, writes on WorkingMother.com, “According to Telework Exchange, 2011’s participants “saved $2,730,229 on commuting costs, gained back 148,692 hours into their day, and removed 1,818 tons of pollutants from the air, while refraining from driving 3,764,001 miles.” All that from just one week spent telecommuting!”

While the environmental and financial aspects are great, telecommuters are often healthier and less stressed, leading to a more productive workday — a good selling point for the boss.

Fell said telecommuters are 11 percent to 15 percent more productive than office-bound employees and get an extra hour of sleep every night.

Did someone say an extra hour of sleep??

If that’s not a reason to campaign for either a part-time or full-time telecommuting schedule, I don’t know what is.

For more:

www.workingmother.com/blogs/workmom-news/work-home-national-telework-week-march-5-9

www.teleworkexchange.com/teleworkweek

See what your telecommuting savings could be:

www.teleworkexchange.com/calculators

Teens' wisdom teeth: Must they be removed?

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 13:45:00 GMT

It's become almost standard for my friends to have their kids' wisdom teeth removed before they go to college. The talk is that the teeth are inevitably going to cause problems and it's too hard to schedule the removal after they are away at school.

So I wasn't surprised when my dentist recommended the same thing at our most recent visit for my 17-year-old. But I was not so quick to schedule an appointment.

Why should they be removed now if they are not causing any problems? Although extraction has become routine, there is little evidence to support removal to prevent potential future problems. One study found that only 12 percent of people who kept their impacted wisdom teeth into their 40s developed gum or bone damage.

I am definitely biased: I still have my wisdom teeth. My teeth are very close together and food gets stuck in unflattering places. But why have risky surgery when all you might need to do in the long term is take better care of your teeth?

Photo: Mark Randall/Sun Sentinel

UF Honors College needs to welcome kids, not discourage them

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:30:00 GMT

We were thrilled when my daughter got invited to apply to the University of Florida's Honors College. Until I read the college's list of "tips" on how to write the application essays.

To get in, the kids have to list their awards and accomplishments and write two essays (Among the choices: "Are we alone?" and "Who was the better tree-climber: Napoleon or Attila the Hun?")

So we went to the on-line "tips" sheet to see how to approach these super-obscure topics. I found the advice quite off-putting, almost discouraging: "In the past many excellent students were not admitted to the Honors Program simply because they did not take the time to craft good essays. A lot of thought and time goes into choosing the essay prompts, and each applicant's essays are read by two people; we therefore want our effort to be worth it."

Also: "Please do not tell us that you are an AP Scholar with Distinction--at least 2/3 of our applicants can say that."

And "Please keep in mind that we receive approximately 2,000 applications each year for a class of 750, and so we would prefer to consider applicants who are truly interested in the Honors philosophy of engagement."

Sounds like they have gotten lots of applications from kids who qualified because of their test scores but were tired of writing college application essays and just threw something together. Still, a playful invitation might be more effective in getting quality kids than a so-called tips sheet with an uninviting and dispiriting tone.

Photo: Patti Parker Nielsen/Sun Sentinel

Middle school start time: Time for a change

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:50:00 GMT

Our middle school principal robocalled all the school's families last week. She reminded us that there is no campus supervision for kids who arrive before 9 a.m. for the 9:30 school start. Kids who arrive at 8:30 a.m. have to go to the school courtyard or she said they may get a detention.

So clearly there is a problem with kids being dropped off early by their parents. The problem is obvious: Middle school starts ridiculously late, especially for working parents who start work at 8 or 8:30 a.m. and need to drop off their kids on the way.

School start times at all levels are screwed up in so many ways, but this is another example of why the whole system needs to be re-evaluated. So many studies have proven that the 7:30 a.m. high school start is too early for teenagers who need more sleep to properly function. And this problem at our middle school is likely going on throughout South Florida, where there is not enough staff to supervise an energetic group of pre-teens who are primed for the day.

How about it, administrators? Take a new look at school start times, for the benefit not only of kids but their whole families.

Photo: Shauna Bittle/Chicago Tribune

Paper or plastic? Paper, if you can find it

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:40:00 GMT

Have you noticed a deficit of paper bags at your Publix store? My requests for paper bags in the checkout line over the past few months have resulted in employee sprints around the store to find the few that seem to remain.

The clerks tell me that customers were taking stacks of them to use as garbage bags, so the management began keeping fewer on hand in the checkout lines. I wondered if my store was the only one affected, so I visited a few others in Boca Raton and there seemed to be the same problem.

I asked Publix spokeswoman Kimberly Reynolds if there was a new Publix policy on paper bags. She said no. They do cost a little more than plastic, but the amount is negligible, she said.

"We see offering paper bags (and plastic for that matter) as a service to our customers and are glad to provide a choice that many customers still prefer," she said.

I try to bring a few green bags to the grocery store, but sometimes I forget and request paper, which do come in handy as garbage bags. I just hope my store makes them more easily available instead of making my request hold up the line.

Photo: Angel Valentin/SunSentinel

The Prom: A tradition that needs to evolve

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:00:00 GMT

So much has changed since we were growing up. So why hasn't the prom?

The boy still has to ask the girl. She has to stress out until she gets asked and be depressed if she doesn't get asked. The girl still has to buy an expensive, long, tacky dress. She has to get her hair and make-up done. The couples have to pose in pictures (that they will regret 20 years from now) and attend before- and after-parties that require hours of planning, debate and negotiation.

It's sort of comforting that these traditions have been maintained through all the dramatic changes we adults have lived through. But it's also sad. Why should a girl have to wait for a boy to ask her in this day and age? I know some kids go in groups, and I applaud them. There are some traditions that we should keep and some that need to evolve.

Photo: PRNewsFoto/Your Prom

SeaWorld makes me sign away my teen's life

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:45:00 GMT

Last night I had to sign a form saying I accept that my daughter may die during her upcoming youth group trip to SeaWorld.

Here's what the form said: "There is a chance your child may be seriously injured or killed by participating in this activity because there are certain dangers inherent in the activity which cannot be avoided or eliminated. By signing this form you are giving up your child's right and your right to recover from the released parties in a lawsuit for any personal injury, including death, to your child or any property damage that results from the risks that are a natural part of the activity."

The activity is a sleepover near the beluga whale tank. Are they expecting the whales to escape and attack?

I have had to sign similar field-trip forms before, but this one seemed especially blunt. A 2008 Florida Supreme Court decision says parents can't waive liability on these trips, but still we must sign these forms if we want our kids to go. Fortunately judges seem to understand that a parent does not send her child to SeaWorld in the expectation that she may never see her again.

Photo: Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel

Organic milk shortage: What milk should I buy now?

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:05:00 GMT

Have you noticed the little signs in the organic milk section of Publix that apologize for the empty shelves?

A national organic milk shortage has hit us here in Florida. According to the New York Times, organic milk farmers' costs are going up and they are decreasing the amount of milk they produce, thus creating not only empty shelves but higher prices.

I had been alternating buying organic milk with Publix's brand milk since Publix stopped buying from suppliers who injected their cows with hormones in 2007. I figure Publix's milk is almost organic now. Now I guess I won't have that choice anymore, unless I want to pay exorbitant prices.

Photo: AP/Pat Wellenbach

Yoga injuries: An unwelcome trend

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:30:00 GMT

What a cliche: I hurt myself in yoga class.

I visited a new class and the teacher had us doing up-dogs into down-dogs into up-dogs for several minutes, encouraging us to roll over our toes. I was able to do this for the first time, but I paid the price, with excruciating back pain that lasted about a week.

Now I see that getting injured is more common than I realized. A new book by a New York Times reporter, William J. Broad, is summarized in this article with a great title: "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body."

So many people invite injury by doing the poses wrong, and teachers don't correct them. And since most of us are sitting at a desk all day, our bodies are not primed for the extreme angles of many of the poses, such as headstand and shoulderstand.

In a class I took a few days ago, the teacher said she was becoming more aware of yoga injuries and urged us not to push ourselves. The problem, though, is that you often don't know you're hurt until the class is over.

Photo: Karen Tapia-Anderson, LA Times

Jay-Z makes mad love song for baby Blue Ivy Carter

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:20:20 GMT

Word on the web is that new papa Jay-Z wrote this little ditty for his daughter Blue Ivy Carter.

He references a miscarriage Beyonce had and that their daughter was conceived in the City of Lights.

It's a sweet rap but doesn't top Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely."

Two-week winter break is too long

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:00:00 GMT

My three teenagers are loving this two-week-long winter break, which in Palm Beach County is actually two weeks and two days. They get to sleep late and hang out at home most of the day.

I, however, like to see them busier and more productive. So I can't wait until this second week of break is over.

Many school systems around the country end right before Christmas and come back right after New Year's Day. But in Palm Beach and Broward counties, the break lasts two full weeks, although Broward schools started again on Monday after the last day of Dec. 16.

The long vacation is hard on working parents, who have to find child care, and for stay at home parents, who have to keep the kids busy during a time when friends are out of town and lots of places are closed. Kids also start to forget what they learned the longer the break is. I vote for a shorter vacation the next time our school boards design their calendars.

Police presence at mall makes me remember the Bochicchios

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:00:00 GMT

It is really creepy to know that the killer of the Bochicchios is still out there somewhere.

I thought for sure the police would apprehend him quickly after the mother and daughter were killed four years ago after Christmas shopping at Town Center Mall in Boca Raton. The killer had such a deranged modus operandi: He tied them up in handcuffs and put blacked-out goggles on at least one of them.

A similar crime had occurred at the mall a few months before. I thought he would keep striking. But he has remained out of sight.

I think of the Bochicchios whenever I see the heavy police presence at the mall. There are city police cars and mall security cars all over the premises. Emergency telephones were also installed in the parking garages after the deaths.

But I wonder if this increased security will make any difference if the killer decides to strike again. Unfortunately he seems to know how to steer clear of the police.

Photo: Courtesy Timmy McCurdy

Teacher tells fourth-graders there is no tooth fairy

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:30:51 GMT

My fourth-grader daughter's teacher told the class that there is no tooth fairy.

Lily told me on our drive to school this morning. I'm kind of glad. And I don't want to get the guy in trouble. He's a pretty no-nonsense teacher who tells them all kinds of interesting things about his life.

She said, "Mom, Mr. (Name Withheld to Protect Him from Crazy Parents) said the tooth fairy is our moms and dads!''

I burst out laughing and asked for the context. She said a boy who gets in trouble all the time was messing with a loose tooth, and the teacher said, "What, are you waiting on the tooth fairy? Well it's just your mom and dad, so give up."

I laughed some more, and she never did ask, and I never did tell.

I'm thinking fourth-graders, ages nine and 10, are probably a bit old to still believe in fairies and yes, expensive notions like Santa Claus that require us to buy two sets of gifts. I don't even remember how old I was when I stopped believing. Do y'all?

Can yoga become a source of stress?

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:05:00 GMT

My yoga class has become so crowded that I dread going.

That's a good reason to stop going, right? And I have, for now. I'm hoping the multitudes will lose interest sometime soon.

The room is large but more than 50 people have been squeezing in. You have to get there as soon as the previous class ends to find a place for your mat. If you don't, people will move their mats over so you can fit in, but only begrudgingly.

It's a gentle class with several poses that move your legs and arms off the mat, so you end up bumping into your neighbor. The teacher encourages everyone to laugh about this, but no one wants to be touching or kicking their fellow yogis during our moments of peace.

So I am saying goodbye to yin yoga for now and will find another class to keep me calm. I promise to return when it becomes less popular.

Flickr/ManvillarPhotography

Radiation: Why I choose the patdown at airports

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:40:00 GMT

This story today confirmed my decision to get patted down at airports rather than get irradiated by people who promise it won't harm me.

European airports have banned body scanners because studies have linked them to cancer in small numbers of people. The TSA continues to defend the technology.

Everyone knows radiation in the atmosphere hits us every day and there is little we can do about it. On top of that, we get dental X-rays, orthodontic scans, cell phone radiation and other potential waves that we can reject if we choose. Radiologists say it accumulates in our bodies over the course of a lifetime.

When I flew for Thanksgiving, I asked for a patdown instead of going through the scanner at Fort Lauderdale's airport. The TSA guard assured me I wouldn't be seen naked; I told him I was more concerned about the radiation. He told me I get more in my cellphone, but called for the female attendant to pat me down. It was definitely intrusive but hopefully lessened my exposure to future cancers.

Photo courtesy Transportation Security Administration

My visit to Aldi for no-frills food shopping

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:00:00 GMT

Publix has spoiled me. Employees in each department say hello and ask if I need help. They lead me to the product I'm looking for. They search the store for paper bags if I don't want plastic. They pack up my bags and offer to take them to the car.

So a visit to the new Aldi supermarket in Delray Beach, a no-frills chain opening several stores in South Florida, was quite jarring. But I actually liked it and plan to return.

Aldi keeps prices low by having few employees, private-label brands and charging for things like carts and bags. As I entered the store, I couldn't figure out why the carts were chained together. I finally asked a customer, who explained you have to put a quarter into the cart, which releases the lock. You get the quarter back when you return the cart.

This was weird, but I did it and went into the store. It was small, about half the size of a typical Publix and very quiet. I didn't recognize any of the brands on the shelves and headed for the grocery section. I found good-looking red and yellow peppers (two for $1.99, an excellent price), apples, carrots, tangerines, avocados, tomatoes and blueberries ($1.99 for a small container; Publix charged me $3 the day before).

I got a kick out of the checkout line. The cashier put all my items back into my cart without bagging them for me. Now that's no-frills shopping!

Aldi, with five stores in South Florida, only takes cash or debit cards; no coupons or credit cards. Returning my cart was a pain because I had parked far from the store, so I had to walk my groceries to the car and then walk the cart all the way back so I could get back my quarter. In a Publix lot, I would have had the luxury of leaving the cart for an employee to fetch.

Photo: Flickr/rvacapinta

Showering at the beach: Do you let the kids do it?

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:55:35 GMT

Ugh, this story is one of my worst nightmares. The other nightmare centers around a man in a rubber suit (but that's another story for another time.)

A Coral Springs man is accused of videotaping young children, mostly naked 5-year-old girls, at the beach as they showered.

When it's time to rinse off there is usually an elaborate dance of me rinsing off my 4-year-old daughter while keeping her clothes on, or her dad holding up a towel, or me stripping off her top and slipping on a dress before rinsing her bottom.

How far do you go to shield your kid when rinsing off in public at the pool or beach?

Here's the video of John Jefferson Field's appearance in bond court on Nov. 29, 2011: