MonkeyView: Adult Movie Reviews

Club Inferno (3/5)

2006-07-31T17:52:00.000-07:00

Mildly amusing
genre: straight, plot.

How do the average-looking guys in porn get to do the things that they do to the women they do them to? Obviously, they've made deals with the devil. That's the story behind "Club Inferno", and it's kinda cute -- although possibly not for the easily offended. The actresses are all very attractive, but the men range from "model" to "odd" -- and it's on purpose.

Club inferno has girl-on-guy rimming, toe-sucking, and double penetration. One thing I hadn't seen in any other film -- a guy rubbing his cock under a girl's blindfold. That was a new one on me. Note: all the threesomes are guy-guy-girl, except for a brief 3-girl scene which is quickly joined by 3 guys.

Condoms are not used in this film.
rent this film for yourself at SugarDVD.com

Gang Bang Anals (1/5)

2006-07-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Straight, gang bang.

I only managed to get through about 20 minutes of this movie. It was that bad. I love gang bangs, but this was unwatchable. There were way too many cheesy video effects, the acting was terrible, and the actors weren't hot enough to make up the difference. Also, it was a humiliation/rape plot, and that's always a minus for me.

Don't bother.

Stiff Company (1/5)

2006-07-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

Gay, compilation.

This is a compilation of scenes from various other movies, which wouldn't be too bad, but I hope these weren't the best they could come up with. I managed to watch 3 of the scenes, and I ended up wanting to fast forward through the sex and just watch the acting, which was bad even for porn. The main selling point (besides the fact that condoms are mostly used, which I like) is the cheesy porn dialogue which is above and beyond any contrived dialogue I've ever heard before. Camp heaven. Some of them were obviously memorized phonetically, as few of the actors seemed to be native english speakers.

All in all, don't bother.

Kansas City Trucking Co. (4/5 stars)

2006-05-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

4/5 stars.
genre: gay.

This classic film was fantastic. I expected 1970's gay porn to be overwhelmed by bad fashion and moustaches, but I was delighted to find a variety of guys and looks, in a dreamlike, almost poetic, sensual story. It was great to see a porn where all the guys weren't exactly the same. Modern gay porn is too niched, and the viewer is forced to choose between slender, muscular, blond and smooth, dark and furry, and all the other shapes that men come in. This had a nice variety of believable guys in decent shape.

There's more JO and oral than fucking, which is fine by me, but may turn other people off. This is pre-condom.

Katsumi's Dirty Deeds (4/5 stars)

2006-05-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

4/5 stars.
straight, plot.

This was a funny concept piece. Katsumi's opening masturbation scene is the hottest solo female scene I can remember watching this year. Then she falls asleep, and dreams of a nightmarish world run by a slightly deformed overlord who she, for no explained reason, is desperate to fuck. He then proceeds to put her through what look like exhausting trials to make sure she's good enough to fuck him.

It's sexy, it's silly, and Katsumi has serious star quality. Definitely worth the rental.

MonkeyView retiring

2006-05-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

So, obviously, I'm not writing 2 reviews a week like I planned. Feeling like I HAD to write the reviews made me lose interest in porn. It was tragic.

Besides, I found a different hobby.

Thanks for reading.

Fetish: R U Human (5/5 Stars)

2006-03-31T14:48:00.000-08:00

genre: straight (with some girl-on-girl), fetish (mild)

Dirt Smears are a Fetish?

This artcore film by Laurent Sky would be fantastic background for a party or nightclub, but is a little non-linear to sit down and watch. Once the movie gets going, it's almost entirely sex scenes, with little filler, but it's a bit slow to start. The settings and costumes were very attractive, although the lighting and editing occasionally detract from the actual sexual content. Some of the images are slightly disturbing, which might make it unacceptable to some viewers, although others might find this a selling point. Although most of the actresses had typical porn bodies, there were a couple women who were bigger than usually seen in porn, and that was a welcome change.

The sexual acts featured, however, are fairly standard. The fetish content is mostly apparent in the costumes and setting, which is nightclub-mimicking-warehouse style. There's a touch of voyeurism and a little medical fetish in the final scene. There's also a repeated image of a man using a penis pump, but that's not an actual scene. It's very reminiscent of a music video. The biggest complaint about this film (which is strictly a matter of taste) is that the music overwhelms the sex sounds -- in fact, in many scenes, the actual sounds of sex are not playing at all. However, the music (dance/industrial) is not bad, if a bit repetitive.

It's a really well produced and beautiful film, which would be great to have on in the background, but not recommended for an evening of quality alone time.

Condoms are used for some acts in this film, but it's not consistent.

Rent this film for yourself at SugarDVD.com

Fashionistas (Disc 2 of 2), 5/5 stars

2006-03-29T15:38:00.000-08:00

Genre: Straight, Fetish (mild).

Rubber Baby Bugger Humpers

High-budget porn like Fashionistas is rare, beautiful, and should be encouraged at every opportunity. The film quality and editing are well done and sexy. There are a few interesting lighting effects, but nothing so aggressively "artistic" as to detract from the main point of an adult film -- which is to arouse. The pacing and balance between "story" scenes and sex scenes is also well done, and the sex scenes do actually relate to the plot, which is a nice touch. The acting is a little wooden, but compared to standard porn acting, these are Oscar-worthy performances.

When it comes down to it, though, Fashionistas is about the clothes, just like the title would suggest. The fetish fashions that this movie features include rubber masks, lots of latex, and even a pony-girl. The settings are creative and varied as well. However, the fetish is light enough in this movie to be enjoyable by most people, and not just fetish enthusiasts. There's some spanking, a little flogging, and a few other toys get cameos, but most of the scenes involve traditional oral, vaginal, or anal penetration, including some of the most impressive deep-throating I've seen recently. Belladonna is impressive (as a performer and athlete) in every scene she appears in. One odd thing -- there was no all-girl sex scenes (on this disc).

This was disc 2 of 2, and although I haven't seen the first disc yet, the plot is not complex enough for this to be a serious problem. Based on having seen this half, I'd recommend either half to anyone who didn't actually have an aversion to latex.

However, despite all the other latex, no condoms are evident in any scene in this film.

Rent this film for yourself at Sugardvd.com

Buck's Beaver (1/5 stars)

2006-02-13T19:41:00.000-08:00

Genre: Transexual, bisexual.

Adult Edutainment

The cable-access production values are probably the biggest downside to this film. This is a collection of 4 scenes, with an interview with Buck cut in between. The hardest part for me was accepting that Buck was very aware of his target audience and their probable lack of experience with transsexual men. The film felt, to me, like it spent too much time explaining Buck's body, and not enough time enjoying it. It really is quite a great body, although I'm not generally into people as heavily tattooed as Buck Angel.

For good points, this movie had Buck fucking both men and women, and being fucked by both men and women. A couple of the scenes were roleplayed with "plots" (Buck calls a hooker, Buck-the-security-guard and a male captive), one dom/sub scene and one scene was just Buck getting fucked. I liked that lube was shown being used in all the scenes and that Buck frequently checked in to make sure his costars were okay and enjoying themselves.

I don't think it's intentional, but Buck wears clothes with very prominent branding; it felt like product placement. Sadly, this film was not much of a turn-on for me, but I definitely recommend it as a watch-oncer for most people.

Condoms were used not only for penis-vagina sex, but also for penis-oral. (No protection was used for oral-vaginal contact.)
Rent this film for yourself at SugarDVD.com

Semen Demons (#1): 2/5 stars

2006-02-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, wannabe alternative.

Semen Dementia

Once again, we have a "behind the scenes" segment that is significantly better and hotter than the actual feature. Goth makeup and costumes seem to have been done by people who have never seen the inside of a goth club, but may have heard one described once.

Overall, during the feature, the girls look supremely disinterested. However, during the "behind the scenes" segment, they actually seem to be enjoying themselves. This is one of those "disembodied cock" movies; you rarely see any of the actor's faces during the feature. Most of the scenes start with a overly dramatic monologue in theme by the actress "Cock is life; life is cock" and so on.

The only real redeeming scene is the last one, with one of the most impressive female squirters I've ever seen on film, who repeatedly douses herself, the set, the camera, and both the other performers. That scene alone raised the rating of this movie from one star to two.

Not surprisingly, given the title, condoms are not used in this film.
Rent this film for yourself at SugarDVD.com

Girls of Sodom (Disc 1). 4/5 stars

2006-01-25T06:46:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, anal.

Formulaic with a touch of hotness.

As may have become brutally obvious, this reviewer has a definite bias towards anal action in porn. However, a lot of the "anal-themed" dvds leave a lot to be desired. This is a multi-kink film, some of which I had to guess at. Each scene begins with a woman in high-heeled boots and exotic lingerie of some sort walking up a set of carpeted stairs. They seem to have blown the budget on the wardrobe, because this totally looks like it was filmed in someone's house. The chintz sofa used in one scene is especially funny. It looks like someone's getting cornholed in your maiden aunt's parlor. So, the dressed up chick walks up the stairs, several times, with video toaster effects, and then they show her posing next to a bathtub THAT IS NEVER USED IN ANY OF THE SEX SCENES. Each girl poses with this bathtub. Most of them are also smoking in the "introductory" scene. Then, jarringly, the music cuts out, and we cut to Skeeter Kerkove (director) standing next to the girl and introducing her to the audience in a complimentary, if somewhat proprietary manner. He gives her a little kiss, dashes out of frame, and then some other guy runs up and plunges right in.

There is a very nice FMM scene, with the rare and coveted double-anal. Although this is billed as a DP movie, that only occurs in 3/5 scenes on this disc. Most of the scenes look like the actresses could use more lube, but I was happy to see that they didn't do the "gaping asshole" shot much. Tatsumi is ridiculously hot. As for the rest of the actors/actresses, they're not unattractive, but nothing worth mentioning. Katja Kassin's blowjob style, as usual, makes me cringe in terror of her teeth.

On the whole, Girls of Sodom seems like a worthwhile rental, but there wasn't much worth watching twice. Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

(oh, and I'm extremely sorry for the delay with this review. I didn't realize I hadn't sent back a DVD, and so there was a delay in the porn schedule. The Monkey is occasionally a dumbass)

Bodies in Lotion, 4/5 stars

2006-01-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, compilation.

4 hours of slippery fun

As with all compilations, a lot of this DVD is filler, and it's unclear how the filler relates to the theme of the DVD. Any scene seems to have qualified for this DVD as long as some lube is visible somewhere. However, there are a couple vegetable-oil-wrestling scenes, a couple more restrained baby-oil scenes, and there's something for most (straight) tastes in this collection. There's a couple of all-girl 3+ scenes, some mixed threesomes (although there's no DP in the only F-M-M threesome scene), and lots of toys used. There is a lot of anal, which I liked, but which I suppose might not be a plus for everyone. The actor's bodies fall into porn norms, although it was nice to see several women with more realistic (smaller) chests. Generally, I'd call this worth the rental, but be prepared to skip around a bit.

Condoms are used in about half the scenes in this film that have cocks in them (there's enough all-girl that it was hard to keep count).

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Gang Bang Angels #5, 3/5 stars

2005-12-30T18:19:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, gangbang.

Yee Haw!

Ten guys, one girl, and a cowboy theme. How can you go wrong? The movie starts with the girl in her bedroom, fantasizing about being a dancer in the old west, and rolling around on her bed dramatically lit, talking dirty. This is a situation in which the "girl talking to the camera" opening scene actually works, because the whole movie is basically one long scene -- the suspense (as it were) has to start building somewhere. Now, if you decide to play "spot the anachronism" as a drinking game, you'll pass out well before she gets her dress off. Keep your eyes open for the cowboy with the pager.

There are chapter selections on the DVD, if you just can't wait through the teasing, the blowjob buffet, and the pussy eating parts of the movie to get to the gang-bang. However, the movie is fairly well-paced, and well-shot, and no one's that bad looking. More could have been done with the DP portion of the film; she just gets on top of one guy and the other nine take turns in her ass. It's just one variation. There's "making-of" footage over the credits, which wasn't a turn on, but was entertaining.

Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

The Tits that Saved XXX-mas (2/5 stars)

2005-12-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, plot, xmas.

Big Toys for Big Boys

Santa can't get his sleigh up unless Mrs. Claus gives up the magic. This silly holiday romp has four scenes, all man/woman, no anal. While the actresses are all fairly good looking, and the plot and acting are bad enough to be amusing, the "Christmassy" soundtrack playing through the entire movie is just too distracting. Maybe Santa would have an easier time getting his sleigh up if they stopped playing the muzak for a second. The real gem on this DVD is the bonus features. The "making of" reel is hysterical, and actually hotter than the movie. There are also interviews with the actresses, which is kind of cool. Condoms are used in one act.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Yo, yo, yo (1/5 stars)

2005-12-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, plot, xmas.

Depressingly Bad
Ah, nothing's more christmasy than anal in a stable. Frankly, the one I feel sorriest for is the reindeer. Yes, there is a reindeer in this movie. The poor thing has to sit there through one of the longest, dullest man/woman scenes I've watched recently, including what may be the worst blowjob I've ever seen. There is a girl/girl scene, and anal, which is the only thing I can really say in favor of this movie. The very weak attempts at political humor are just depressing, and dated. (The movie was made in 1994) The Casiotone soundtrack and bad "video toaster" effects would have been better left out. I was fairly afraid of renting this one due to the title, but apart from the fact that all of the actors were black, race didn't come up in the movie (except of course for Santa's obligatory "Yo, yo, yo", which he seemed as embarrassed about as I was.) Condoms are not used in this film.

Don't bother to rent this movie at SugarDVD.com

The Devil in Miss Jones (1973). 3/5 Stars

2005-12-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

As just a movie, it gets 2/5 stars, and as a porno, it probably still gets 2/5 stars. However, for successfully combining the two, I had to go up to 3/5. It's definitely entertaining, and I'm glad I watched it, but it's too psychological to really be "porn", and too shallow to be a "movie". It's about as good as the B-movie vampire flicks of the same era (1973). The movie most closely resembles an episode of the Twilight Zone, with a 40 minute sex scene thrown in the middle. Overall it's dark, creepy, and emotionally hollow. While Miss Jones seems to be enjoying herself, she never seems actually happy or fulfilled.

Sexually, we get a lot of variety. There's cock-sucking, girl/girl, anal, DP, and a couple of masturbation scenes. Aesthetically, the film is very much a product of it's time. The bodies, actors, costumes, and music are very 1973. If you're hooked on the current model of six-packed hairless men and gravity-defying breasts, you may find this film very unarousing. Still, if only for the historical content, I do recommend checking out this movie. But if you're on a self-date, you might want to rent a back-up plan.

Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie at SugarDVD.com

(edit: Sorry for the delay on this one - had a paper to write)

Bi Way 3 Way, 3/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

Genre: bisexual, vignette

If you're looking for pretty, twinkish boys getting sandwiched between a musclebound top and women with realistic bodies, this is the movie for you. This film consists of three vignettes (2 outdoors) starring the same guy as top, but with different costars. The guys in the middle of the sandwich were all of roughly the same type, but one I wholeheartedly approve of, being young, lean, and pretty. The women were all more curvy than you see in most porn with about average acting skills and enthusiasm. However, as a whole, this was a pretty hot movie, and I was disappointed that it wasn't longer. What was in the movie was hot. What was missing: I would have liked to have seen both guys getting penetrated in a scene, there was not enough kissing between guys, and it seems like a DP would have been a natural extension.

Condoms are used in this film for anal, but not vaginal penetration, however they did have some trouble with condoms breaking (condoms break in the first two vignettes). The third scene they switch brands (or at least, the condom is a different color) and they don't seem to have that problem.

Rent this movie at SugarDVD.com

New Wave Hookers #3, 4/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, plot

Science at its finest!
This is another silly installment in the Dark Brothers' series about music that turns women into slavering sex maniacs. It differs from NWH #2 in having a lot more girl/girl scenes and in the focus on feet and shoes. If I had a foot fetish, this movie would have gotten 5 stars. The actors and actresses are not as attractive as in the previous NWH movies, but the tongue-in-cheek humor is just as raunchy and silly as expected. The Dark Brothers experiment more with MTV-style editing in this picture, which is hit-or-miss; in some scenes, it's very sexy, and in others, it's dizzying and distracting. Still, overall this is a very sexy movie with a lot of laughs, great group scenes (including the mandatory NWH baby-oil initiation gang-bang), and nice oral, anal, and pussy action. One laugh-laugh-out loud scene has to be witnessed to be believed, because even describing it would be a spoiler. Definitely worth the rental.

Condoms are used in one act in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD Online Adult DVD rentals

Sodomania Warning: Not for the Weak of Heart!, 3/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, vignettes

Porn with punchlines. This is a compilation of a few silly (and pretty hot) vignettes, with a couple of filler amateur scenes thrown in to pad out the length. The amateur scenes are ultimately skippable, being of the "guy holding the camera while getting laid" variety. Sound quality is also an issue in some of the scenes, as half of the dialogue is unintelligible due to careless use of directional microphones. Some of the dialogue is also not in English.

However, there's some very nicely done anal and amusing scenarios with comic twists. This movie does not have any of the shots of gaping open assholes, which I liked. This film isn't really bisexual* as there are no guy-on-guy moments in any of the scenes, but the scene with girls using toys on a guy is definitely sizzling and worth watching a second time. Only a couple of the actors are hot enough to be worth mentioning, but the overall enthusiasm level tends to make up for it.

I'd call this a good watch for people who are into anal, role-play, and who may be curious about men getting penetrated. Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Double Impact #2, 3/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:11:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, vignettes

If you really get into the sound of women choking on cock, this may become one of your new favorites. There is a lot of drool-heavy cocksucking, and (too many?) shots of wide-open assholes. Four of the five scenes begin with the cameraman talking to the actress and encouraging her to tease the audience. (The middle scene starts with a conversation between the two guys and is just odd.) Someone must like this, because it's a popular device, but it's rarely done well. It was fairly dull here.

Overall, the movie wasn't bad. However, every scene felt like it was rushing to make sure it went through as many positions as possible, and didn't hold any of them long enough. The last of the five chapters is definitely the winner of the bunch, with Julie Robbins' enthusiasm making up for for some of the less-than-believable performances in previous chapters.

Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Anal Dreams, 2/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, vignettes

This movie hardly deserves the first word of its title. Two of the six scenes had no anal at all, and another two had only brief anal. Nikky Blond (scene 4) was the highlight of the piece, as the only girl to really seem interested in what she was doing. The MMF scene (#5) was also fairly hot, and heavy on anal.

It seems that the word "dreams" in the title refers to the fact that the entire movie soundtrack is elevator jazz. You can not hear any of the sex sounds in any of the scenes, which I found to be a real problem. Also, all of the money shots are in slow-motion, which I found more amusing than anything else.

On the plus side, both the actors and actresses are very good looking (all the men fall in the bronzed, hairless, gym body type). The settings are varied and fairly attractive as well. If this were not billed as an anal flick, it would have gotten 3 stars, but I have to take off one for false advertising.

Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

New Wave Hookers #2, 5/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, plot
5/5 stars

This is a great campy, funny movie. Big 80's hair and costumes, the music isn't bad, and the filler scenes are laugh-out-loud funny. Also, and more to the point, the sex scenes are hot. The acting in the non-sexual parts of the film is about what you'd expect, but the enthusiasm is far above average in the sex scenes, which makes them hot.

Everyone in the movie is reasonably good looking, although there are no real stand-out beauties. There's not much repetition in the scenes either, and they manage to cover a bunch of different combinations, including a very nice gang scene.

It's the lovechild of low-budget sci-fi and high-budget porn, and I can't wait to see the next one in the franchise. Condoms are not used in this film.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Fuck & Play, 2/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

Genre: straight, vignettes

This was really dull. Six scenes, all in the same set (hell, the same chair) with the same theme. Girl masturbates with toy, gets off, guy comes and fucks her, comes on her face. 6 times. The camera work was shaky and uninspired. The girls were reasonably hot, the guys were average. There was only one scene with anal. No condoms were used at all. Frankly, the actors all looked stoned. The most interesting part in the whole thing was in scene 5 when you could hear a dog barking outside. I watched the "other titles from this producer" special feature, and it seems like Collateral Damage is just a production house to avoid in general.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com

Yu-No #1: the spectacle of seduction. 2/5 stars

2005-12-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

Genre: anime, straight

My experience with anime porn is fairly limited, but I've liked what I've seen. I found this disappointing. The feature was about 40 minutes long, with really only one "sex scene" in which you never saw one of the parties. There was a naked girl bouncing as if she were having sex, but you couldn't see who/what/if she was having sex with. The rest of the movie was panty shots and the occasional nipple. I like to watch animated penetration, so I found this very disappointing. The plot(?) was confusing and non-linear. I wonder how badly it was translated, or if it really was just that non-Western in its approach.

Rent this movie yourself at SugarDVD.com