MoonGoddess Gets Fit & On Track

the surgery

2010-03-03T12:49:00.006-05:00

So turns out my finger was ready. Sort of...

I went in on Friday, February 19th to Cape Fear Hospital for what we thought would be a simple less than an hour procedure of installing a silicon rod to open up the space in my finger to install tendons (which would be a later surgery). Turns out things looked different when the surgeon got in & could see what was really going on.

There was space for the tendon, but the pully that attaches the tendon was damaged beyond repair. Also my dedicated surgeon decided that he felt my tendon was worth saving rather than grafting in one from my wrist or a toe. He spent over 2 & a half hours working to get the tendon lossened up, moving & securely in place again.

Instead of the rod I expected, I ended up getting a button & a pully ring to go with a custom brace to hold my hand in place while the tendon recovers. I had the choice of blue, khaki or camoflauge! I immediately chose blue & don't regret that one! In a 6 weeks I may be ready to lose the button if the tendon has attached securely.

I didn't expect the recovery to be nearly as difficult as it has been so far. I am exhausted & have spent most days on the living room chair. Which is were I also slept at night so I could keep my hand propped up. The percocets kept my mind & my pain numbed somewhat. We had been warned at the hospital that I would feel pain, but that the medication should help it be more managable. Just unfortunately it also made me loopy. No driving or getting up fast even for me. Sleep was my best friend.

Yesterday made 11 days after the surgery & I have been working hard with my hand physical therapist to get some motion back into my hand. I have been switched to vicodin, which doesn't seem to make me feel spaced out like the percocets, still no driving. :( Thankfully my mom has stayed with me helping out.

checklist:

1. Exercise: I fell right off track - BIG TIME, but still I know this is a huge healing time, so I can be a bit easy on myself. the original pain medication - percocets - knocked me out & lets face it, I just had surgery! My body was exhausted. I was told to rest for two weeks.

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:

Total Miles Last Week:

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 8,498.60

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 4,261.60
1- $1,197.11
2- PAID OFF & Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $2,809.00
5- PAID OFF & Shredded
6- $255.49
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 2,097.00

3. GRATITUDE:

1- Good insurance
2- Hope for the future
3- My mom & her help right now
4- Baxter & the birds with their crazy antics
5- Great doctors & my one good hand - AND PAIN PILLS!

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

•"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti
•"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm
•"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated:

Jan - 1 fleece
Feb - 1 fleece & 1 sewn

March - 1 fleece in progress & 2 sewn ones in progress

TOTAL donated this year so far: 3

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

You put your right hand in... you lose your left hand...DANG IT

2010-02-09T13:35:00.007-05:00

Who Dat? (Who thought up that?) So football is over. Its official. Not just Panthers, but ALL of it. Boooo. At least it will be back next season with new hope & hopefully a few new faces on the team. BUT I don't want to lose Julius Peppers! We shall see on that one, but I don't have a good feeling. Why keep Delhomme but not Peppers? Beyond me!

I resigned from my secretary/webmaster position with the parrot rescue. Just too much to handle with the sugery coming up. After it happens I will be one handed basically for two months, then restricted afterwards. This is scaring the mess out of me. I am trying to think about how I can get through the 61 something days, but who knows! I did find a pair of velcro sneakers which I am hoping is going to be possible since my lace up sneakers are not going to be doable one handed! Still can't believe I bought velcro sneakers.. .ug.... fashion no no & I so know it. Can I get a tax write off for these being medical expenses?

At least they were on sale! Next up a powered can openner since I can't seem to figure out how to get the manual ones to work one handed. Wish there was a suppy store to rent stuff. Ok second thought, wish I had a loving cutie to help me through all this crap. ...what doesn't slaughter you slowly will make you stronger right? Still can't help but feel a bit jealous of all those guys in the past that I have help through surgeries & injuries, etc. No names, but jeez.

Feel free to share tips or thinking to consider if anyone thinks of any!

Maybe the doctor will share more when we schedule the surgery. I get a check again on Friday to see if there is more movement in my finger. Its too frozen to operate on. BUT I am optisitic & refuse to even consider the possibility that this is how its going to be for the rest of my life... or until on of those other things he said might happen, happens. NO. This is NOT going to get me. This whole incident WILL be put behind me!

checklist:

1. Exercise: Completed the Couch to 5K week one last week & can't wait to start week 2! Feels good to have a goal & a plan. Also really glad I got a fellow blogger on board. Guessing she can remain nameless til she finishes week one! ;)

This Week: Mon- 1961 / .71 Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 5591 /2.02 Tues- 3658 / 1.32 Wed- 2056 / .74 Thur- 5383 / 1.95 Fri -2078 / .75 Sat- 2662 / .96 Sun- 4365 /1.58

TOTAL STEPS: - 1,961
TOTAL MILES: - .71

Total Steps Last Week: 25,793

Total Miles Last Week: 9.32

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,683.42

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,446.42
1- $1,275.11
2- PAID OFF & Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $2,171.31
5- PAID OFF & Shredded
6- PAID OFF

7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 2,100.00

3. GRATITUDE:

1- my girls. I love my soul sistahs so much.
2- Caffiene
3- HealthyWage.com get paid to lose my weight? yes please
4- Texts from a cutie in Haiti
5- New focus on life

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

•"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti
•"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm
•"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated:

Jan - 1 fleece

Feb - 1 fleece ready to be donated & 3 sewn ones in progress

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Que Sera Sera

2010-02-01T13:13:00.005-05:00

Today is day 28 of the 29 Days of Giving challenge & although I hate to see it end, I am ready for something new to focus on. I love giving & doubt I will stop, but maybe make it more meaningful by doing it once a week or when it seems right rather than just scoping out something - anything daily.

I also freaked myself out by reading about flexor tendon surgery! Typically they stabilize the hand with a brace for 2 months!?! Then restricted use for a few more months... Jeez. I tried to do a few things without my left hand at all. Driving, kept ending up using it in turning, etc. without thinking. Putting on shoes... how are you supposed to tie shoelaces with ONE hand??? Can't do it? I will have some adapting to do.

BUT I started the Couch to 5K program!!!

Day one of week one is down! I admit part way through I wondered if I could do it or should do it, but I did. :) I may be out of my mind starting this now. With surgery coming up, there could be days I am supposed to work out & just don't even feel like it, but I won't know unless I try. Besides I have a 5k I signed up for in April approaching quickly! Even a friend who may be coming to town to join me.

So I guess for now I just have to take it day by day & wait to see. What will be, will be.

checklist:

1. Exercise: Wow I got lazy this weekend! Being iced in the house just made me sleepy & in a movie watching mode rather than workout mood. Can't wait for a bit warmer temps so walking with Baxter will be more fun.

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 2800 /1.01 Tues- 2283 / .82 Wed- 1986 / .72 Thur- 3810 / 1.38 Fri -1810 / .65 Sat- 1267 / .45 Sun- 867 /.31

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 14,823
Total Miles Last Week: 5.34

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,687.24

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,450.24
1- $1,275.11
2- PAID OFF & Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $2,072.72
5- PAID OFF & Shredded
6- $102.41
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 2,542.16

3. GRATITUDE:

1- Sleep
2- Advances in medicine like MRIs
3- That my birds have smaller beaks than some - thus the bites when they happen are smaller!
4- Twitter on a lonely night
5- Less debit than I have had in a looooong time!

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti

"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated: Jan - 1 (1 fleece ready to be donated & 3 sewn ones in progress)

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Its all going to be alright.. I hope.

2010-01-29T10:17:00.009-05:00

OK, so catch up time.

I had a very hard to get through doctor's appointment on Wednesday & its taken me a few days to ounce back to me. I guess in going through stuff like this, breakdowns now & then should be expected.

Basically the x-rays taken that day showed the fracture has healed nicely. That's the good news. The not so great news was that the MRI from the weekend showed that the flexor tendon recoil back further than we wanted to see. This along with the time that has past since the initial injury means that the surgery is not going to be as simple as they would like it to me. It also means that it may not even work. My doctor was great in explaining it all to me & how the tendon works, how at this point it could be scarred up to the point it will not stretch to be reattached. I may need grafting of additional tendon to get any movement or relief of the pain. He felt it was best for me to transfer to another orthopedic surgeon who is a specialist in this & also one of the co-founders of the practice. I will meet with him Tuesday to discuss what he feels are my options.

I bawled driving away from the office & again later than night. Silly me never considered that this could be something I am stuck with for life. The scar on my ear, yes (although I started applying scar creme yesterday to help make it less noticeable hopefully) but I never considered the pain & lack of movement would be permanent. I have been doing good avoiding the victim pity party for the most part, but I just lost it. Not sure if it would be easier to accept if it was something that happened as a result of a mistake I made (like falling off a bike or something) but I am struggling with having to deal with all this emotionally, physically & financially when it was just the result of being attacked by two crazy morons looking for a way to vent or easy money.

So chins back up & I am feeling grateful that I have wonderful doctors, insurance & inheritance that came to me at a GREAT time when I am most needing it. Yes I would rather have taken a trip later in the year or saved the money or been able to donate a big amount to help the bird rescue get more stable, but life is what it is and at least I am not sinking deeper in debt because of this.

I also feel very lucky to have a boss that is willing to work with me on this. Hoping so much that the surgery will not cause me to miss two much work & hoping that my skill typing one handed can keep up. We are relocating offices within the next month as well, so this should be interesting!

BUT life keeps moving & I will get through this.

Something exciting did happen yesterday. The magazine article I was interviewed for a while back came out! The writer has my statements sounding strange to me & mixed up my conure & moustached parakeet's names, but the message is still there. Think about the life changes & commitment it takes in sharing your life with a parrot. All in all I don't hate the pictures too! I was so afraid I would look ridiculous in it that I prepared for the worst. Course I wish my hair looked a bit better, but who doesn't wish for that. I'm sure that supermodels look at their airbrushed glossy ads in national magazines & see things they would improve.

checklist:

1. Exercise:

This Week: Mon- 2800 /1.01 Tues- 2283 / .82 Wed- 1986 / .72 Thur- 3810 / 1.38 Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 1891 / .68 Tues- 2740 / .99 Wed- 1618 / .58 Thur- 1864 /
67 Fri - 1727 / .62 Sat- 5515 / 2 Sun- 2781 / 1

TOTAL STEPS: - 10,879
TOTAL MILES: - 3.93

Total Steps Last Week: 18,136
Total Miles Last Week: 6.54

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,434.94

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,197.94
1- $1,188.92
2- PAID OFF & Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $1,926.71
5- PAID OFF & Shredded
6- $82.31
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 2,338.69

3. GRATITUDE:

1- Weekends to relax (after the bird meeting tomorrow & catching up with a friend in town)
2- Slow work days
3- Baxter being such a sweet gentleman & welcoming everyone who comes to the office - he's the mascot & best ice breaker ever
4- The opportunities I am presented with & the confidence to pass on the ones that are not a good fit for me
5- Inheritance when I most need it

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti

"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

...

2010-01-26T13:08:00.004-05:00

Found out a great friend of mine who I miss dearly since she moved away is going to do the 5k in April I signed up for! Just one more week til I really start training. Its going to be great having someone with me there. I won't say "by my side" because as a seasoned runner, I made her promise to leave me in the dust & we can celebrate at the finish line. I know I will be slow, but to me what will matter is that I can do it.

checklist:

1. Exercise:

This Week: Mon- 2800 /1.01 Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 1891 / .68 Tues- 2740 / .99 Wed- 1618 / .58 Thur- 1864 /
67 Fri - 1727 / .62 Sat- 5515 / 2 Sun- 2781 / 1

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 18,136
Total Miles Last Week: 6.54

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,418.40

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,181.40
1- $1,188.92
2- $65.77 (missed paying it off before the finance charge. Dang it!) Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $1,926.71
5- PAID OFF & Shreddded
6- $0
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 3,000.00

3. GRATITUDE:

1- my pets, furry, finned or feathered - I adore them
2- Planning & leaving a bit of room for the unexpected
3- Friends when you least expect them
4- Random funny thoughts like the theme song from Carmen Sandiego
5- Butter, especially garlic butter...mmm

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti

"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated: Jan - 1 (another fleece finished & started sewing THREE new ones this weekend!)

Wondering if a suitcase with wheels would work just as good to tote the machine. So far I have yet to see one I like & see paying the price can for!

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

...

2010-01-26T13:07:00.001-05:00

checklist:

1. Exercise: Silly me actually gave thought to this when I had to take every thing out of my pockets for the MRI! I know I had more steps on Saturday & Sunday too but that was just me being forgetful when I took a shower & changed into comfy pants part way through the day. :)

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 1891 / .68 Tues- 2740 / .99 Wed- 1618 / .58 Thur- 1864 /
67 Fri - 1727 / .62 Sat- 5515 / 2 Sun- 2781 / 1

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 18,136
Total Miles Last Week: 6.54

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,618.40

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,381.40
1- $1,388.92
2- $65.77 (missed paying it off before the finance charge. Dang it!) Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $1,926.71
5- PAID OFF & Shreddded
6- $0
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 3,000.00

I splurged a little this weekend. Some was on stuff I needed yet had been putting off replacing or getting & then I had a blast getting discounted, on sale, tax deductible fabric for the blankets I'm making for Project Linus. Groceries are nice to have again!

The best part was shredding my cards & being able to pay at the MRI!!! No billing, I paid the amount I owed (OWED as in past tense!!)

3. GRATITUDE:

1- MRI was less scary than I was afraid of
2- The ability to sew
3- Hope for a recovery of my hand
4- Haiti relief efforts & great stories like this one
5- The blessing of delish food when I want it

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti

"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated: Jan - 1 (another fleece finished & started sewing THREE new ones this weekend!)
Still haven't found the machine cart thing I want, or can see paying the price for, but wondering if I have a regular suitcase one wheels that will do.

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Its just a walk in the park with a pug

2010-01-25T12:15:00.012-05:00

What a weekend. Treefest, my first MRI, shopping, snuggling, football, a date (that didn't lead to the snuggling! Just Baxter snuggles! lol), sewing & a big potluck dinner with friends.

Today hasn't been half bad either. I forgot my keys for work, but the boss helped me by unlocking everything. Also forgot Baxters food & water dishes I took home to wash over the weekend, but we improvised. Forgot my lunch, but I splurged on chicken wings & cheesy bread, which was more than I wanted to spend, but I have leftovers for tomorrow.

Today was busy at work for the most part, but also exciting to be dreaming of the new office.

I am a bit worried hot the timing is all going to happen with the move, the starting of the pool season & hiring/training new staff, and my surgery. I'm guessing the doctors aren't going to advise lifting & back to normal activities just after surgery. I will be lucky if I only have to take a day or two off. BUT it will all work out.

This afternoon was so nice weather wise I came home changed & took Baxter to the park. I was a tad shocked that he was up for the 40 minute brisk walk around the park. He kept right up with me & seemed to enjoy it. Course a mega nap followed afterwards, but it was a great start! Hoping as the weather keeps warming we can do this more often.

checklist:

1. Exercise: Silly me actually gave thought to this when I had to take every thing out of my pockets for the MRI! I know I had more steps on Saturday & Sunday too but that was just me being forgetful when I took a shower & changed into comfy pants part way through the day. :)

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 1891 / .68 Tues- 2740 / .99 Wed- 1618 / .58 Thur- 1864 /
67 Fri - 1727 / .62 Sat- 5515 / 2 Sun- 2781 / 1

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 18,136
Total Miles Last Week: 6.54

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 7,618.40

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00 (Interest free from parents)
Credit cards- $ 3,381.40
1- $1,388.92
2- $65.77 (missed paying it off before the finance charge. Dang it!) Shredded
3- CLOSED
4- $1,926.71
5- PAID OFF & Shreddded
6- $0
7- PAID OFF & Shredded
Emergency fund- $ 3,000.00

I splurged a little this weekend. Some was on stuff I needed yet had been putting off replacing or getting & then I had a blast getting discounted, on sale, tax deductible fabric for the blankets I'm making for Project Linus. Groceries are nice to have again!

The best part was shredding my cards & being able to pay at the MRI!!! No billing, I paid the amount I owed (OWED as in past tense!!)

3. GRATITUDE:

1- MRI was less scary than I was afraid of
2- The ability to sew
3- Hope for a recovery of my hand
4- Haiti relief efforts & great stories like this one
5- The blessing of delish food when I want it

4. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti

"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

5. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated: Jan - 1 (another fleece finished & started sewing THREE new ones this weekend!)

Figured out I need a machine tote to be able to take my machine to the meet-ups. With my hand not being able to carry the machine & surgery on the horizon not making that easier, this would be perfect!

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

HELP HAITI BLOG CHALLENGE! - special post

2010-01-25T11:00:00.006-05:00

Just signed up to participate in the Help Haiti Blog Challenge! (You other bloggers can join in as well!) Basically you want to get the word out that we can do something together to help Haiti in their time of need right now.

It continues to be just terrible down there. I can't imagine dealing with everything they experienced the day it happened & the next couple of days, .... but it CONTINUES! Just yesterday there was a 4.7 aftershock! Insane.

While you know I am particpating in the 29 Days of Giving Challenge & have been texting donations & giving to organization like the World Food Programme & Mercy Corps, today I also want to ask you all to join in & donate what you can. Maybe skip a meal & donate what you would have spent on that meal so that organizations can use the money to feel hungry people in the area effected by the quake. To add a bit of incentive I am going to give one lucky reader (is anyone out there?) a prize for giving to the Haiti relief.

HOW TO ENTER:

1- Leave me a comment on how you are helping the efforts to Help Haiti.
2- Leave me a comment with a link to your blog mentioning the Help Haiti Blog Challenge with the link to the challenge.
3- Post one of the badges supporting the challenge on your blog & tell me where you posted it with a link.

Each activity will earn you a entry into the contest so shoot for all 3! The winner will be chosen at random (because no one likes someone who plays favorites, but in reality if you read my blog you are already a favorite of mine! <3)

so DO IT! Make a difference in the lives of others. Trust me it feels GREAT!

ADDITIONALLY I am going to do a matching challenge.

I will donate $1 dollar to the United Nations World Food Programme on behalf of each person who publicly follows this blog & makes a comment within the next week on any of my blog post in this blog. (Minimum for this donation is set at $20, but I am curious to see if we can get more people involved than 20!)

Also if you are really feeling like giving... check out this site to see how you can volunteer to help with the relief efforts.

Closer to free!!!

2010-01-20T10:36:00.007-05:00

TODAY IS VERY SPECIAL. You will understand more as you scroll down to the financial section! :D

Also last night I went to my first meeting of Project Linus & had a blast! I will definetly be going back & working on a few more blankets this month so I have something to present at the next meeting's show & tell section! Such a fun group & I loved the purpose the blankets serve... to comfort children when needed. Some go to hospitals, some fire departments, police departments, all types of organizations that are there when life gets tough & kids might need a bit of extra comfort.

Wish I had gotten a picture of the finished blanket but here is the fleece fabric before I did the fringe tie method of finishing it off. So much fun.

Can't wait to have a fully functional hand where I can tote in my sewing machine, so I can sew with the best of them! Feels great to have reignited the spark of the sewing hobby!

***Update from the morning on Thursday Jan 21****

Meant to post this last night after I finished it, but last night was rough. I'm just going to post my posting to the 29 Days of Giving Challenge to explain.

"Made it home from work & running errands with the pugster in tow. Got to work more on a few blankets in progress for Project Linus, which was what I had been wanting to do all day! While joyfully sewing away I watched the news. [key this is where I went wrong] News is just so depressing.

I watched some stories about the relief efforts for Haiti & how they were struck with an aftershock that seems like another earthquake to me. Then I got an update on a local refugee that through local donations is getting his hand fixed. The boy looked so brave lying on the hospital bed. They were going on about how wonderful he did during the 4 hour operation.

& that's when it hit me. He had a similar surgery to the one the doctors have discussed with me. Although I'm guessing his was a bit more in depth, it still sounded similar. I got really scared. I think this was the first time through this that it became real that I am going to have to have another surgery. Be the helpless patient who puts her future in the hands of doctors who I really don't know & to whom I am another day at the office. I am so scared by all this. Also the why me feelings saw the chance to rush in. Things could be so much worse. They are for this boy. Yet he seems so brave, while I burst into tears.

I don't know if it was part of the fact that my finger & hand has been hurting worse than it has in a while for most of the day or what but today I am just a mess.

So I sucked it up, ate the last thin mint from the back of the freezer (which I reserve for comfort one by one!), snuggled with my Baxter & made sure I had my big girl panties on to suck it up & be brave.

For the past few weeks a poster has stood out to me & given me inspiration. "Commissioned by the British Ministry of Information in 1939, the o...

I adore it. & tonight I treated myself to a shirt from Etsy.com with this on it.

I also loved getting a thank you email from my friend I helped the other day saying she had a great interview & later they made her a job offer. Happened very fast! Glad she has something & glad I could help her.

Another friend seemed to also be having a hard time lately when I checked in on her online. So I recommended a book that has helped me in this challenging time, Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? by Ajahn Brahm. The stories contained in the book are both hilarious and thought provoking. Leaves me with a smile & a better mood. Course I also mentioned this challenge & how much it has helped me. :) hoping she joins in. You can't spread happiness without some of it rubbing off on you as they say!

Found a great way to get some new music and donate to the Haiti relief, MusicforRelief.org. You donate what you can or feel is write and they will let you down load 10 great songs from famous artist. I have Must Be Love stuck in my head now. Which isn't a bad way to end the night."

Then all last night I had bizarre hospital dreams. Woke in terror several times & my hand/finger are killing me so I know I was using them in my sleep again. I am so scared, yet so ready for this to all be over & back to normal. Afraid that this is normal now.

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Need to focus on this more!

This Week: Mon- 1891 / .68 Tues- 2740 / .99 Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 2402 / .87 Tues- 1058 / .54 Wed- 2680 / .97 Thur- 2225 / .8 Fri - 2893 / 1.05 Sat- 3327 / 1.2 Sun- 3393 / 1.23

TOTAL STEPS: - 4,631
TOTAL MILES: - 1.67

Total Steps Last Week: 18,428
Total Miles Last Week: 6.66

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 8,087.47

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 3,850.49
1- $1,388.92
2- PAID OFF
3- CLOSED
4- $1,926.71
5- $35.75 (missed paying it off before the finance charge. Dang it!)
6- $499.11
7- PAID OFF
Emergency fund- $ 4,500.00

THE INHERITANCE CAME THRU! Feels great to know I have some savings & even better to know that I have some of that debt off my back!

I know I am going to hide the cards away so I won't ever use them again. One isn't even activated from where they sent a new one when it expired. The question is should I keep the lines of credit open to boost my credit score since I know in the future I am going to need to purchase a car & maybe a house. OR will it be better to just close the accounts & make my life simple? Something to think about.

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Closer to debt free!
2- Project Linus & new friends of all ages
3- My Uncle
4- Dreams
5- My life at the moment

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti
"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm
"the Spark" by Chris Downie

6. PROJECT LINUS:
At this point I am aiming to donate at a minimum of one blanket per month.
Blankets donated: Jan - 1

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

ok

2010-01-18T12:11:00.003-05:00

quick check in!

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Had blast yesterday with my parents playing Wii Fit & a couple of other games!

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 2402 / .87 Tues- 1058 / .54 Wed- 2680 / .97 Thur- 2225 / .8 Fri - 2893 / 1.05 Sat- 3327 / 1.2 Sun- 3393 / 1.23

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 18,428
Total Miles Last Week: 6.66

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,344.19

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 12,107.19
1- $1,345.83
2- $3,978.39
3- CLOSED
4- $3,926.71
5- $1,488.26
6- $499.11
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 125.00

My medical bills are starting to come in & ARE KILLING ME!

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Weekend visits from the parents
2- 29 Days of Giving challenge & the warmth it has brought me
3- Webcams, Skype & family
4- Baxter's health improvements
5- Hope at the financial tunnel

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti
"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm
"the Spark" by Chris Downie

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Its Hard Out Here For a Pug

2010-01-11T14:36:00.008-05:00

Another hard day for me. Started with an early morning visit to the physical therapy center. Where after parking my car my key refused to come out of the ignition! I was struggling & finally had to give up. Left my car unlocked (thanks to a safety feature) in the parking lot with the key right there in the ignition for the world to see. Had to trust, which is not so easy at times.

HATE PT. I feel sill doing the exercises & they are getting me no where. Evidently I need to see another doctor to try & figure out what is going on. 3 occupational therapist couldn't figure out what is making it so still & immobile. The ruled out a lot of things & this is one of the busiest offices around, so it makes me nervous. I'm getting scared. Where is Dr House when you need him. Also with the bills coming in, I'm getting angry & sad & "why me". Which I'm fighting off because they are useless. I am going to over come this. I am stronger for this & I will survive this.

I also broke my crock pot today. :( Shattered the crock part. I was really upset thinking I had to buy a new one. I just got this one a few years ago & love it. Even was wondering what I had around the kitchen to make in it for tomorrow's dinner. The shattering ended those thoughts. BUT thanks to a friend reminding me of the glad game from Pollyanna, I tried to put a happy spin on it & thought, "well I now have a reason to go shopping when I have some extra money!". Which lead to me looking at website & finding that I could get a replacement part delivered for only $9.99 for the piece & $7.95 for shipping! Woo whoo! I will be back in business soon.

Today I miss my mom. Whose birthday is today. Hated to call her with the update on therapy, but she knew I had an appointment & we were both hoping for some great news. I am very grateful to get to talk to her at any time since she has had cancer since 2001 & they don't have a cure for Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. She just fights the spot it appears at. A few years ago she had a really bad surgery on a spot in her lung. Now she is going for quality not quantity of life & is no longer doing anything to stop or slow it down. So celebrating another year is a big deal to me! I am so grateful for her. I called her back later in the day so the "Happy Birthday" call could be all about her & more happy news. She even got to hear Baxter's "bark" which she has been wanting to hear. He's a pug & his bark just sounds like a kid saying "wolf-ah" or "arrffah". Its really funny.After a few other lil snafus, I was ready to just can the day....but I didn't. I worked out & spent sometime with my flock of parrots & Baxter. Baxter brightened my day so much & made my frown turn upside down, that I picked today to be the day I donated to the area pug rescue, Mid-Atlantic Pug Rescue. This is day 8 for my 29 Days of Giving Challenge .

Samson - who needs a home or at least a few more angels.

& now its time for me to relax with a bit of snuggling with my dear sweet lil buddy. After I go cover some cages! :)

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Got my new pedometer in! YEAH! Can't wait to see how the PC data works on it!

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 1956 / .9 Tues- 1745 / .6 Wed- 2894 / 1.1 Thur- 2191 / .8 Fri - 1343 / .5 Sat- 1594 / .54 Sun- 1282 / .46

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week: 13,005
Total Miles Last Week: 4.9

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,271.82

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 12,034.82
1- $1,302.74
2- $3,950.89
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,423.65
6- $574.11
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 25.00

My medical bills are starting to come in & ARE KILLING ME!

4. GRATITUDE:

1- My Mom
2- Cancer Crusaders who seek a cure
3- Birthday Cakes & Wishes
4- Baxter snuggles
5- Rescue groups

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading:

"Of Parrots and People" by Mira Tweti
"Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm
"the Spark" by Chris Downie

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

In2Me

2010-01-08T13:43:00.005-05:00

So for my 29 days of giving challenge, I found a wonderful new opportunity called In2Books, where you can sign up to read a book along with a student and write letter back and forth with the student engaging them in a discussion about the book. It helps them to become better readers and motivates them to apply the knowledge or concepts from the book into a discussion.

All I had to do was a background check (*which by calling the number to ask questions about the program, I was given a promo code to waive the $6 processing fee for the background check!). Then after I passed that, I got to write my introduction letter and take the orientation tutorial. Easy peasy. I am committed to reading the book they chose and writing a letter to discuss the book with them. Everything is done through the In2Books website, so no risk of giving out personal information or even having to pay for the stamp!

The books chosen by the student can be bought, found at public libraries or my personal favorite obtained from Paperbackswap.com! (A great place to swap those books you no longer need for free new ones! You just pay for the shipping of your book when it is requested & then you can request a book to be mailed to you free!)

You agree to sign up for a while calendar year, but unfortunately some people drop out so they have a back up list. I am on the back up list for the moment, but may be assisted a student pen pal at anytime! If not, I am enrolled to participate for the 2010-2011 school year.

This is such a sweet program! I can only imagine getting a letter when I was learning to read talking about the books. What fun. Plus I have been saying I need to dedicate more time to reading. Small steps.

Also work has been very slow today & I managed to eek out another hour to not one work on the parrot rescue's website, but found a local social networking site that is starting up to connect volunteers and non-profits! Of course I had to sign the group up & make a page for us! Here it is. (yes those are my birds in a few of the pictures...or all if no one else has posted anymore!)

checklist:

1. Exercise:

Another night of laziness. After scurrying all over town to find an ice scrapper in preparation for the massive winter storm, ...that never showed up!

This Week: Mon- 1956 / .9 Tues- 1745 / .6 Wed- 2894 / 1.1 Thur-2191 / .8 Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- 2128 / .8 Sun- 5421 / 2.1

TOTAL STEPS: - 8,786
TOTAL MILES: - 3.4

Total Steps Last Week: 16, 313
Total Miles Last Week: 6.57

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,018.01

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,781.01
1- $1,279.39
2- $3,948.75
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $375.79
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 100.00

I will not stress, I will not stress, I will not stress....

4. GRATITUDE:

1- The flock
2- Baxter
3- I can read.
4- In2Books
5- Weekends!!!!

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Physical therapy is hard

2010-01-07T12:50:00.013-05:00

Started my physical therapy today. I had no idea what to expect. I was so scared waiting for my name to be called. Didn't help my nerves much when one of the workers recognized me from my old job & started chatting it up. I know she was being nice, but I just wanted to get in & get out of there. I still feel stupid when people ask how I broke my finger. Its not a fun story to retell. But soon enough I met my therapist & her intern (who also worked at my old job, but after I had left, so we didn't know each other, but knew people in common).

We did a bunch of measurements and talked about what the break was like & how it was still healing. Next I got to sit with my hand in a machine that blows this sand/grain like stuff around in hot air doing a bunch of movements with my hand. Out of the set of 4 positions, I can only do 2. Its a bit disheartening. I feel like I should mentally be able to tell my finger to bend, but it won't. They can make it bend by gently forcing it, which still hurts some, but I can't do it. So frustrating.

Hopefully I can remember to do the exercises & see some improvement when I got back on Monday. I need the motivation that this is working. At the moment I just feel a bit silly.

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Did Wii last nigh & got obsessed with the ski jumps. Feeling the squats this morning!

This Week: Mon- 1956 / .9 Tues- 1745 / .6 Wed- 2894 / 1.1 Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- 2128 / .8 Sun- 5421 / 2.1

TOTAL STEPS: - 6,595
TOTAL MILES: - 2.6

Total Steps Last Week: 16, 313
Total Miles Last Week: 6.57

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,018.01

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,781.01
1- $1,279.39
2- $3,948.75
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $375.79
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 100.00

Starting to freak out about money. All these medical cost are adding up & although I know I haven't even gotten the bills yet, I'm getting worried. I have a high deductible plan, so I know I may have to pay up to $2,000.00. My boss thankfully is nice enough to pay the first $500.00, but I am thinking between the psychiatrist visit, the ortho & the x-rays he did, the physical therapy & who know what else, its all adding up really quickly!

Really hoping I don't spend most of the inheritance on medical needs. Still would be grateful & it is good timing, but I was really looking forward to being debt free & having some savings build up. Also I know my parents want me to start doing a few things around the house like a new fence, bathtub, etc. & it would be great to.

Oh money you are the root of all evil.

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Great snuggly bed
2- Warm comfy clothes, ITS COLD!
3- My family & Baxter
4- An understanding & generous boss
5- Knowledgeable medical experts who can help me

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

"the Spark" by Chris Downie

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

One heck of a "ME" day.

2010-01-06T16:17:00.008-05:00

What a day. Started out great! Got to sleep in a bit late & get in some extra snuggle time with Baxter. Got a nice shower, took my time getting ready. Felt good, but apprehensive about the rest of the day.

Got to the orthopedic center & TROUBLE. I could NOT get my key out of the ignition! I finally decided to just detach it & take the fob in with me. This made me nervous since its a convertible with no tinted windows so anyone could see the key in the ignition. Then it dawns on me, due to a safety feature the doors will not stay locked with the key in the ignition! Dang it. I didn't want to miss my appointment, but I couldn't just leave my car. Finally my last desperate try it came out. No clue what I did to get it stuck or how I got it unstuck, just thankful I made it in time to sign in.

I was so scared. Listening to the buzz saw take off a cast did NOTHING to calm my nerves as I waited for the X-rays to process. My biggest fear was surgery with pins sticking out grossly. THANKFULLY the mother & daughter beside my section were talkative & chatted about that being the 2nd cast she had & how she flipped out over the hair on her legs! Good distraction. Then the doctor showed up & they left. He said it was a hair line fracture & was looking like it had healed up very well, but that I would need to come back in 4 weeks. I also needed physical therapy. The best news was that I no longer had to wear that smelly old splint! I got a smaller metal brace to wear when I think I will need it, but for the most part I can leave it off! I immediately went to the therapy center & signed up to start tomorrow. Thankfully my boss is understanding of all this.

Next stop for the day was to get a calendar. I wanted to be able to see some reminder daily of my workouts. Hoping it will motivate me to want to do more. I got lucky & found these cute boards at Staples for $5.00 each! I posted them on the back of my bedroom door. Discrete, but I will see it at the end of each day & the beginning.

Then it was home to see Baxter & grab lunch. I got the BEST surprise I could have gotten! BAXTER WAS EXCITED!! For the first time since he came home with me, he felt good enough to run around like a normal dog & went nuts for the new toy I brought him. So good to see him feeling like he should. I missed him & it was nice to see he missed me too. Made me feel bad when I had to crate him again so I could go off to the dentist.

Got the cavity filled in record time & it really went well. I didn't stress as much as I thought I would. Feels good to know its over with.

The gym right by my house is doing a promotion for $1 membership & $10 per month, no contract right now. I found out a couple of friends work out there & in planning & thinking about all this fitness stuff, I realized how much I love my treadmill, but miss the weights. There is no room in my house for weights & for $10, I though why not try it? So I did. I went by the gym right after the dentist & signed up. Even got a free T-shirt! (Also was surprised to come home to my copy of The Spark - think Sparkpeople.com & my new gadget filled pedometer had arrived!)

Its going to be interesting to be back in a co-ed gym. My last experience wasn't so great & I am very conscience about working out in front of people. I'm hoping I can find a time where its not so busy. Also hoping after the end of January things will slow down there. While I was there, it was a lot of guys working out on the weights. Something that makes me feel silly trying to learn how to do things. This is going to be a challenge. But I have achieved many things & I can do this.

& yes I have not forgotten about day 3 of the 29 Days challenge. I gave Baxter the new toy, but also I donated to the North Carolina Aquarium. I LOVE THE PLACE! Every year I get a membership & it becomes a place I can go anytime I want to or need to, to relax. Also its great to go with guest from out of town or on dates. Just a really cool place to be & see nature that normally I wouldn't see. Typically when I search online I use GoodSearch & enter North Carolina Aquariums as the charity that benefits from the search. They get paid per click. Very cool in my eyes!

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Joined Planet Fitness to add the weight dimension to my list of tools!

This Week: Mon- 1956 / .9 Tues- 1745 / .6 Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- 2128 / .8 Sun- 5421 / 2.1

TOTAL STEPS: - 3701
TOTAL MILES: - 1.5

Total Steps Last Week: 16, 313
Total Miles Last Week: 6.57

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,018.01

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,781.01
1- $1,279.39
2- $3,948.75
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $375.79
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 100.00

Two more weeks. Then I will so much closer to debt free! Just hoping all these doctor & vet visits don't mess it up. Life is expensive, especially with so much interest! I can make it. Part of me want to save it, or at least half. But then I would just be still paying interest more than earning interest, so it seems silly. Who knows. Definitely saving some amount of it.

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Insurance
2- I made it through the day without passing out.
3- Watching Baxter play & dash about, knowing he is feeling the way he should. Better.
4- Hope for the future & strength from the past.
5- Organization.

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

" the Spark" by Chris Downie

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

What am I thinking?

2010-01-05T12:26:00.014-05:00

It was one heck of a chilly morning! Baxter doesn't understand why we have to leave our nice warm bed to go sit at the desk all day! Well I sit. He gets to go back to sleep in his cozy smaller bed! Lucky dog!

The 29 days thing is already starting to get hard. I think I am thinking about it too much. I want to do something worthy & yet inexpensive. I wish I knew someone who needed help, but I guess that is all part of the process. Finding new opportunities to help in new ways.

Today I ended up talking with a cousin who is going through a tough time & trying to understand how to trust people when all they seem to do is hurt you. Hard lessons to learn. Still working on it myself. The advice I gave was that you have to be strong enough to take the risk & also strong enough to not let it get you when it doesn't work out sometimes. Gotta have faith that sooner or later you find those who deserve & return your trust & love. Family will always be there be it blood or chosen. One of those times we all go through & yet feel so alone at that time & feel like no one understands.

Also ended up catching up with a friend who is going thru a tough time right now. I so badly wanted to make everything better for her, but dealing with a friend's suicide is nothing anyone can fix. Its just one of those things that will never make sense or feel right. All I can do is let her know she is loved & missed & has people here for her. Which she has a ton of all that all over.

After both conversations I felt drained. I thought to myself...I STILL need to give something to someone (thinking materialistically still) & it dawned on me that I had given. I gave two dear people my time, energy & love. Gave them all the advice I could think of & a shoulder. Which isn't it about the relationships we have in life more than the THINGS? I just hope it helps.

For good measure I also went to the Hunger site & clicked on all the links that donate to the various causes as well as Free Kibble & also the cat version. I think I need to get back into the habit of doing those again!

I finally broke down & made an appointment for myself to get my finger checked out. Its broken. I know, but I am so sick of wearing this splint from urgent care. Plus I have no idea what I should start feeling & when. I know I can't move it on its own & it hurts like a beast to make it move. Yes I tried. Silly me thought maybe its just stiff from being splinted so long. Maybe it needs some physical therapy! OUCH! Professional advisement only from now on!

I don't know what I am thinking. 10:15 go to the doctor about my finger, then at 2 pm I'm getting a cavity filled! Eek! At least I will have it all over & done with I guess. Still not at all looking forward to tomorrow.

& the cavity thing just irks me. I have been brushing. I have been flossing. When I asked why I got one, they said it was deep in the crevice of the back tooth in the middle. It was something you really can't prevent since the tooth "valley" is so deep. HUH? So it was inevitable that I got this cavity? That's not far! I know I earned the ones before but come on.

So tomorrow should be interesting... WISHING MYSELF LUCK! ...& a bit of bravery since I HATE medical stuff. I know the panic attacks are coming, but hoping they will be small ones & I can fight them off with the klonapin! I can do this & be better off for it.

checklist:

1. Exercise:
Lazy day yesterday. I didn't even touch the Wii or treadmill or anything. Today? JUST AS BAD! ... lazy bad blogger!

This Week: Mon- 1956 / .9 Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- 2128 / .8 Sun- 5421 / 2.1

TOTAL STEPS: - 1956
TOTAL MILES: - .9

Total Steps Last Week: 16, 313
Total Miles Last Week: 6.57

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 15,846.99

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,609.99
1- $1,279.39
2- $3,927.73
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $225.79
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 200.00

Two more weeks. Then I will so much closer to debt free! Just hoping all these doctor & vet visits don't mess it up. Life is expensive, especially with so much interest! I can make it. Part of me want to save it, or at least half. But then I would just be still paying interest more than earning interest, so it seems silly. Who knows. Definitely saving some amount of it.

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Family.
2- I have some of the best friends in the world who I adore.
3- Snuggle time with Baxter! Such a sweetheart & getting better everyday.
4- Knowing days are getting longer & warmer weather is on the way.
5- Medical insurance & a boss that pays the first $500.00 in claims!

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

29 things...

2010-01-04T11:09:00.014-05:00

"wait, you mean its over? I was JUST getting into it?"

Aw. Panthers season ends again. Its going to be a long wait til the 2010 season starts up. Can't wait to see if Moore plays more than Delhomme. I certainly hope so, unless Delhomme improves over the break. Either way, although I wish they were SuperBowl bound, I am glad to end with 8 wins & 8 losses. Can't call them losers, without also calling them winners. Next season is going to be great! Til then, maybe I will have to find something else to do on Sundays. :(

Baxter is doing much better after having FIVE TEETH removed. I am so thankful he is feeling better & taking his medicine like a champ. I love the little guy so much!

I read a twitter post today about someone doing 29 days of a good deed each day. That reminded me of a website & concept that I came across a while back. I added it to my list of goals but have yet to start doing it yet.
After I read an email from a friend who is taking steps (or leaps) to get a bird sanctuary started, I just knew it was time.

So I'm begining my 29 days of giving! It doesn't have to be materialistic things, but can be a simple hello & a smile or compliment to a stranger. Anything to pass on a bit of positivity.

Today of course I gave a small donation (since money is very tight around here lately) to my friend so that the Coastal Companion Bird Sanctuary can raise the funds needed to officially become a 501(c)3 status! Feels great already.

I am a bit disappointed in the dating scene or lack there of right now. I'm trying to focus on my pets, my health, my finances & improving them! But the loneliness of not having that special someone to share all the triumphs & trials with is really hit home over this past holiday season. Trying to stay optimistic, but realizing how picky I am & I guess a bit old fashioned. I want more than a hook-up that turns into a relationship. I want a bit of romance & zazazu. Just no clue how to meet people anymore. All in good time I guess. So hard to be patient. I feel like I should be working towards my dreams of having a great family.

Amazed at how different lift is from this time last year. So much has changed. Some very unexpected, some much needed, some I can wish never happened & yet so many wonderful things that bless my life.

...like the one snoring curled up by my feet or the two feathered ones singing very different yet wonderfully perfect songs! :)
checklist:

1. Exercise:

I love my Wii! Doing the 3-2-1 approach ( 3 exercise sessions of yoga or strength, 2- Balance games, 1- Aerobic session) I "cheated" & did two aerobic sessions & was having so much fun, I played two more balance games. Also played Toy Story Mania for 30 minutes which has to work my arms more than just watching TV! lol

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- 2128 / .8 Sun- 5421 / 2.1

TOTAL STEPS: - 0
TOTAL MILES: - 0

Total Steps Last Week: 16, 313
Total Miles Last Week: 6.57

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,090.97

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,853.97
1- $1,329.39
2- $3,839.82
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $507.86
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 300.00

Come one inheritance.... I can't wait to pay off these bills! No MORE INTEREST is going to be GREAT! This month has been a load of unexpected bills. Some mine, some for Baxter, but I know they are for the best & getting us where we want & need to be!

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Baxter is eating great, taking his meds & gaining spirit
2- Skills learned hanging with trouble in high school paid off last night when I locked myself out of the house playing around being silly with the dog on one of the coldest nights of the year!
3- Feeling less stress knowing that soon I will be closer to debt free
4- New faucet & dishwasher are GREAT!
5- Amazed at all the things I accomplished yesterday.

5. OPENING MY MIND:
reading "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Visions of 2010

2010-01-02T16:48:00.002-05:00

2010 Visions by AliMoonGoddess on Polyvore.com

Welcome 2010! Time to begin again!

2010-01-02T12:20:00.011-05:00

New Year, New Blog Title, New Focus!

More positivity & more productivity. Less venting (hopefully!).

So I am adding in a few more things to my check list. Bringing back the books. I really need to read more. I watched 159 movies in 2009 & completed a total of only FOUR books! Incredibly unacceptable! I started way more books than that but just never finished them. So that should make it even easier to read at least one a month this year! Ever year I resolved to read at least one a year. Some years its easier than others.

I need to write more articles too! Thinking about one on pugs & their health issues at the moment. I am totally pugged out at the moment, Baxter has become my life for now getting him settled into the new home & getting him healthy.

Also I am so gun ho about working out more this year! I adore my new walking buddy! Soon as he is feeling better, we will be going on more regular walks. Also the Wii is awesome! I adore the balance board & Fit Plus game, but I also feel like my arms got a work out playing the Toy Story game yesterday! Next purchase, as soon as they are no longer sold out everywhere is the Disney Dance Dance Revolution pack! (I know silly, but I love Disney!) Also ordered a new pedometer since lately I haven't had any luck keeping one working correctly. Will be nice to have a back up. The treadmill is still working & I got Baxter on it, which turned out to be hysterical! Actually he hopped on & I turned it on the lowest possible setting. He was surprised, but I think he had fun!

I'm hoping to try one new recipe per week. May have to adjust this but that's the goal for now!

Last night's dinner was amazing.. Started out simple enough. A steak, some carrots for good luck, a green salad for money & black eyed peas for whatever they are for. Once I saw I had no A-1 sauce, I had to kick it up some. Ended up being a buttered steak with melted gorgonzola & a balsamic glaze drizzled, black eyed peas, honey carrots & the salad got some added dried cranberries, chopped walnuts, gorgonzola & a drizzle of the balsamic glaze! DELISH!

Anyway lots of changes!

Back to Baxter. Poor guy spent yesterday at the vet in surgery. They were worried about a tooth when we went in Sunday & decided he needed a major cleaning. Since this required anesthesia, they also put off a few other not so fun things like nail clipping, deep ear cleaning & vaccinations. I dropped him off around 8 am & the worrying for me began. I also had scheduled the new dishwasher to be installed at the same time so that helped pass the time. The plumber found out my faucet was also leaking (due to the heavy water filter attachment! Something that happens all the time according to him! Funny they don't say that on the box.) so I got to do a quick shop for a new one at Lowe's!

Around noon I got THE call. Baxter was doing great & coming around. In the end they had to remove FIVE TEETH! I don't even know how many teeth a dog had, but my mind went back to when I had my wisdom teeth removed & all the pain. I started to cry thinking Baxter was dealing with more pain. Then I looked at a few blogs about other dogs having teeth removed & found out that they seem more resilient than we do. I also figured out sitting around thinking about it all was going to drive me nuts so I went shopping. Hey at least it was more steps on the pedometer. I couldn't pick him up until 3 pm so I had to do something.

First stop was Best Buy for some dreaming & checking out Wii games! I ended up splurging & getting the Toy Story one that a friend had been raving about. I'm a sucker for it all & excited about the upcoming Toy Story 3! The game is so fun.

Next up I shopped around & ended up getting nothing but a fuzzy blanket for my lil pug buddy.

Three could not come soon enough! I got there & they were packed. So I ventured over & bought some canned food incase he couldn't handle the dry food. I mean really FIVE TEETH!?!

After sitting down waiting to speak with the vet, a lady came over & asked if I was Baxter's mom. Still find that strange. Course not he's a pug & I'm a human... but I get it. I am his best bud & the one paying the bill, so I just said "yes". Turns out she & her mother visited him when he was at animal control. They had to pass on adopting him due to all his health problems (how did everyone else know about these but me???) but had called a few rescue groups to try to save him. She was over joyed that he had found a home & said he was such a sweet dog. This is the second person who has approached me in public & asked if he was the one from animal control! How did so many people pass him up? He is such a sweetheart. AND I am so lucky.

The vet finally came out with him & he seemed groggy, but VERY excited to be back with me snuggled. The whole time the vet explained next steps & what to expect he just gazed at me. She laughed & said it was very clear how much he loved me. She was thrilled that he had found a great owner who cares enough to get him the help he needs. AGAIN who couldn't? He needs it & can't do it himself. He's so sweet, who could just let him be put down or even take that risk?

Oh well. Things are going great. He perked up last night & even ate some food after I soaked the dry in chicken broth with a bit of the canned food added in for a treat. :) He is taking his pain meds & antibiotics like a champ & all is going wonderfully. We are relaxing today. Watching movies, Wii time for me & lots of laundry!

checklist:

1. Exercise:

Worked out on the Wii Balance Board 40 minutes last night!

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- 2888 / 1.37 Fri - 5876 / 2.3 Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

TOTAL STEPS: - 0
TOTAL MILES: - 0

Total Steps Last Week: 0
Total Miles Last Week: 0

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 15,906.10

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,669.10
1- $1,253.99
2- $3,839.82
3- CLOSED
4- $3,914.54
5- $1,393.65
6- $398.21
7- $868.89
Emergency fund- $ 525.00

I have some inheritance money I just learned coming my way that is going to help me out more than I could have expected.

4. GRATITUDE:

1- Baxter made it through his procedure & is on the mend
2- Loving his lil noises & snores even more as time goes on
3- Thankful to have a bit of extra money now to help out with the unexpected expenses & thankful I signed him up for the wellness plan at the vet. Saved over $800 so far.
4- My nice WARM bed & that Baxter is a gentleman who is well behaved enough to share it
5- Hope for the future & the path being lit up to guide me to where I want to be!

5. OPENING MY MIND:
Began readying "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? : Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" by Ajahn Brahm

Also watching Julie & Julia finally! So already starting the movies ahead of the books. lol oops!

my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

CHANGES in store for 2010!!!

2009-12-31T20:44:00.006-05:00

So I am LOVING my newest family member.

Meet Baxter

He ended up joining me the day after Christmas & even after a surprising vet check & a hefty bill, I don't regret my decision to open my heart & home to him a bit. I feel so loved. There are very little things that make life & seeing him wake up from napping beside me & look at me with those eyes - all happy I am still beside him - warms my heart.

Which is one of the many reasons why I am home on New Years Eve. I just can't think of anyone I would rather be with. & he is scheduled to have a dental cleaning (possibly with a tooth removal) tomorrow morning bright & early. Gotta give him boo-coos of love tonight since I am scared about him going under anesthesia. I'm sure he's going to be fine & this is just one of the much needed steps to get him happy & healthy & where he needs to be to live a long good life. :)

I also just don't feel like celebrating this year. My finger is still not getting any better. I am planning to schedule (FINALLY) an appointment with an orthopedist in the coming year. Still single. Still in debt & not sure where my life is going but knowing where I want it to be. I really am just over 2009. I am so ready for 2010 & new hope. What could it bring? Hopefully beautiful days & dreams come true.

For now. I am focusing on me. Just enjoying my days as they come. I adore Baxter & he seems to be smitten with me. I am so lucky that he gets to come to work with me & is incredibly well behaved.

I think we are going to be great together. We both were abandoned this year & left behind by people who we thought would always be there to love us. We both are currently healing injuries. We both are needing someone to love & love us. So far we are doing great together. He is giving me strength to get out more & walk more. I don't have the same fear I had in walking Badyn. Baxter shows no aggression & is very good with staying with me. He clearly has been well trained. I am so lucky to have him in my life.

I look forward to many, many great days ahead!

checklist:

1. Exercise:

Worked out on the Wii Balance Board 30 minutes last night!

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

TOTAL STEPS: - 0
TOTAL MILES: - 0

Total Steps Last Week: 0
Total Miles Last Week: 0

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,239.68

Car Loan- PAID OFF!!!
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 12,002.68
1- $1,253.99
2- $3,989.82
3- CLOSED
4- $3,992.72
5- $1,424.05
6- $448.21
7- $893.89
Emergency fund- $ 525.00

I have some inheritance money I just learned coming my way from my Uncle. I hate so much that we lost him, but this was a much needed boost. <3 href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/551567/alison_mccollum.html">my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

another quickie update...

2009-12-23T22:42:00.002-05:00

So just when you think that you hit rock bottom, you figure out that there is a whole new lower level to discover.

I got upset. I came home. Ended up not thinking & went downtown to relieve stress with a friend & a few flirts. Long story short I wait up feeling HORRIBLE, in some serious pain & bleeding. At the end of the night, we went to get a cab. My friend ended up talking to a guy while I went to get a slice of pizza. She looks over & I am on the ground knocked out, with two random girls kicking & punching me. She ran to help got one of the girls off me & starts punching her, the other girl leaves me to help her friend & they both dash off to run in the street & stop a cab that they take off in.

I end up getting taken home. I woke scared, in so much pain I just wanted to die & without a working phone. I had no way to reach out to anyone. Plus I felt so alone. Like no one would care. My sister & mom got work online through a few emails & my mom came down to take me to urgent care. I had waited to late to go in. I should have been taken directly from the street, but can't change the past. Ended up being too late for stitches on my ear that had been sliced open. Plastic surgery is an option in a year. Also I broke my finger at some point. I was angry, scared, & felt myself slipping back into my anxiety & agoraphobic reactions. Major panic.

So I scheduled a session with my wonderful psychiatrist. Ended up being a 2 hour session. WELL WORTH IT. I ended up determined not to let it get me. I was & am not a victim. I refuse the label. I am no longer angry or feel sorry for myself. It happened. I can let it get me or I can grow stronger.

So that night I went to a great lil fondue place to meet a friend who was moving away & I hadn't seen in years. I walked alone on the downtown streets. Scared, but knowing I had every right to walk safely there.

My bandages of course have gotten a lot of questions & looks. I just reply to the standard inquiry, "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I recognize how wrong it was. I also know how much worse it really could have been. There are many what ifs that can be played. What if my friend didn't help me? What if I hadn't gone out at all? What if I was left for dead in the street? But the reality is what happened happened. Its in the past & today I have a choice of who to be. I chose a forgiving healing powerful self full of hope.

I also ended up falling upon a wonderful opportunity.

I am adding a new life to my crazy group of a family. I met with a sweet lil black pug today & he stole my heart away. He also has been abandoned and lost this year. Fallen on hard times. What we know is he was found with a Cairn terrier wandering around, both with collars but no tags. The rescue group tried for weeks to locate an owner. They both had obviously been pets & spoiled. Their collars had to be cut off so he has a bald ring that has hair growing back & a scratch on his nose where he has a bald spot that is fading back into beautiful black hair. :) We are both healing & learning to trust again as we open ourselves up to sharing a life. His foster home has another pug, 2 more dogs & 3 birds. So he is used to & uninterested in the birds.

Also my boss is fine with the idea of me bringing him to work with me.

Its going to be soooo nice to have someone to come home to with kisses & snuggles waiting. Someone to alert me to anything that is near & someone to walk with me out in public as I get used to getting out with confidence again.

Also I am finding that just in talking of possibly getting him, this is going to be a great reason to get together with friends that I miss dearly. We can walk dogs & make play dates.

I can't wait to pick him up after I get back from visiting my parents for Christmas. The foster owner & I both felt that it would be too much on the pug to have to adjust to a new owner, in a strange house, with 4 other dogs, AND the Christmas chaos. Just seemed better to wait til things calmed down & I could get some supplies ready for him to come home too.

I'm so excited. This is such a huge decision that I debated til it made me sick almost. BUT I am confident that we are going to be great together & help each other.

Now just to make it through the weekend & bring my boy home. :) Can't wait.

Status

2009-12-08T09:17:00.002-05:00

So basically a quickie update.

I feel like crap. No I'm not sick, just sick of it all.

Even did my annual toys for tots thing which tends to help me feel a tad better. Shopping for a kid? How fun is that? ....not so much this year. Its done. So moving on. Better luck next year.

My uncle died. The crush has been crushed & I know realize it was very one sided. I also realize my family thinks I'm nuts, which I guess is general consensus since I am starting to agree. No clue how to change who I am or stop being upset, but whatever.

Christmas couldn't have come at a worse time. I'm not feeling any holiday spirit or joy. Thankfully I have friends who I know love me for me. Sucks that we are all over the place, following dreams. Which I guess I should give up trying to stick close to home & start figuring out how to create a few new dreams & a plan to follow them. The ones I have/had aren't looking so promising.

So onward. Where ever it make lead. For the moment I'm a grouch & a grump, but trying not to be a Grinch.

I would walk 10,000 steps....

2009-11-23T13:23:00.005-05:00

YESTERDAY WAS BLISS!!!!

I treated myself a tad bit. the new 2009 Beaujolais Nouveau came out! I also got a couple of new shirts, some lip gloss, made a fantastic dinner, talked several times with the crush (he called, I was planning on leaving him alone since he is away with business & then family!! So felt even better that he took time to call me & WANTED TO!!) also..... I WALKED OVER 10, 000 steps!!!

I know I should have saved the money, but nothing was too frivolous other than the wine maybe, but I deserved it!

Whatever the reason. I am starting to get more comfortable. Starting to smile more & was singing in my car, shower, dancing around the house with the birds.... It feels so good to have feelings like this again. To feel like someone else sees me & cares for what they see & YES they are seeing past the sex potential! This could be something very real. Maybe I'm not past my prime just yet! :) I know I am thinking more & more about him. Still wondering what the flaws could be, but the closer we get the more I adore him. Could Santa have come early with my present this year?

checklist:

1. Exercise:

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 3134 / 1.48 Tues- 1828 / .86 Wed- 6552 / 3.1 Thur- 1569 / .72 Fri - 5111 / 2.42 Sat- 4405 / 2.08 Sun- 10,026 / 4.74

TOTAL STEPS: - 0
TOTAL MILES: - 0

Total Steps Last Week: 32,625
Total Miles Last Week: 15.4

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,483.81

Car Loan- $ 425.26 (SOON TO BE ZERO!!!)
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,821.55
1- $1,268.03
2- $3,820.49
3- CLOSED
4- $3,954.68
5- $1,436.19
6- $434.47
7- $904.69
Emergency fund- $ 1098.30 (FINALLY BACK UP TO WHERE IT SHOULD BE!)

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

I am all about embracing what will be. I am relaxing & learning to let down defenses. Trusting. Which can be so hard, but pay off so wonderfully so far.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- Renewed motivation
2- Text messages, drop bys & fortune cookie courage
3- Weekends with upcoming short work weeks
4- Shopping. Catching some deals to pamper myself & passing on things comfortably while enjoying the experience
5- Inside jokes & long phone calls (even though I'm not a phone girl)

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

Unexpected Developments

2009-11-21T09:39:00.007-05:00

Life is just strange.

Within the past week my crush has deepened & I seem to find myself dating an amazing guy. We both have a ton of life going on, but so far things are just wonderful & I find myself looking forward to what ever comes next. Feels strange. The previous dates just left me sad & longing for what I had, but this guy makes me smile & gives me a comfort that I want more of.

Was interviewed for a local magazine & frankly think I bombed it pretty badly. I was exhausted from staying up late the night before & expected the reporter to have better questions to ask. Interns. Oh well. Its over.

Getting back in the habit of working out & loving it. Maybe this holiday season will find me losing instead of gaining. Just excited to be happy & getting to know someone instead of feeling alone & left out.

I got hit with a really big bill for the surgery I had in October. Felt like financial rock bottom. I chose Friday the 13th to empty out my 401(k) at age 32. Penalties & all. But thankfully this is letting me pay off the bill & brought my savings to the $1,000.00 I wanted & needed to complete Baby Step One (on the Total Money Makeover Plan). The great news is this means I get to make my last car payment as planned this month AND I will still be able to afford to spend some money on gifts for my family this holiday. Best yet is I can move forward more quickly on paying off the credit card debit. I still feel slightly guilty on giving up on the 401(k) but I will soon be eligible at my new job to enroll & this time there IS A COMPANY MATCH!! So I kinda feel like I am going to be making up the money soon anyway.

So hopeful for the future, yet trying to push back this fear that being this optimistic & happy means that sooner or later the crash comes. Yet is it the expectation that brings it? I'm going to do my best to expect the best is yet to come & enjoy the ride, as it comes. ...bumps & all. :)

OH & Groucho got a great report from the Vet! He is gaining weight, feathers are gaining more vibrant color & he is moving & talking more. The vet said it might be in his best interest that his wings stay growing out instead of being clipped again. He was showing signs of wanting to fly like the rest of the birds & the exercising was helping to build up his breast bone muscles. So we are letting them grow in & two days ago he FLEW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FIFTEEN YEARS OF LIVING! Finally he is being the bird he was born to be. So far he is unconfident, a bit klutzy and taking things slowly, but he is learning. Feels great to know I am helping him.

checklist:

1. Exercise: So I am wearing the pedometer, working out even on those days where I forget to get the pedometer on or leave it on when I change clothes! der...

This Week: Mon- 3134 / 1.48 Tues- 1828 / .86 Wed- 6552 / 3.1 Thur- 1569 / .72 Fri - 5111 / 2.42 Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- 3521 / 1.3 Tues- 3659 / 1.4 Wed- 4614 / 2.3 Thur- 986/ 0 Fri - 2897 / 0 Sat- 0 / 0 Sun- 0 / 0

TOTAL STEPS: - 18, 194
TOTAL MILES: - 8.58

Total Steps Last Week: 15, 677
Total Miles Last Week: 5

ASCM Fitness Plan:
Aero - (4 to 6 sessions) 6 days
Musc- (2 to 3 sessions) 2 days
Flex - (3 or more sessions) 2 days

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,370.69

Car Loan- $ 425.26 (SOON TO BE ZERO!!!)
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,708.43
1- $1,268.03
2- $3,748.38
3- CLOSED
4- $3,916.67
5- $1,436.19
6- $434.47
7- $904.69
Emergency fund- $ 1098.30 (FINALLY BACK UP TO WHERE IT SHOULD BE!)

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

Last night I was feeling stressed & lucky enough I realized it was making me nuts. I was over thinking things in my newly forming relationship due to the insecurities I have developed from the past one(s). Also I am taking things with the bird club personally, which I needed to stop & recognize we all have the birds best interest at heart, no matter how different our paths. I went out to the beach & while the clouds were blocking the stars, the waves still were mellowing & comforting. I was able to relax and recenter. Great place for grounding.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- Learning to relax & make plans rather than just stress & wonder what to do.
2- Even as friends spread further apart, we come closer emotionally.
3- The car is MINE!
4- Groucho is learning to fly for the first time in his life! So cute to be a part of.
5- Hope in the form of a sweetheart of a hunk named Ari

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

check in

2009-11-03T10:20:00.007-05:00

just an update

checklist: 1. Exercise: STARTED! Steps & the plan

wearing the pedometer today & will be working out tonight.. no matter what! :) Back on track.

This Week: Mon- didn't track Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:
Total Miles Last Week:

ASCM Fitness Plan:
Aero - (4 to 6 sessions)
Musc- (2 to 3 sessions)
Flex - (3 or more sessions)

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,700.74

Car Loan- $ 425.26
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 12,038.48
1- $1,284.39
2- $3,838.47
3- CLOSED
4- $4,052.93
5- $1,462.30
6- $471.27
7- $929.12
Emergency fund- $ 100.00

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

I meditated & tried to see the moon. Alas too many clouds. I did a reading with the cards, but didn't do a full ceremony. Just was too pooped to get everything together. My house is a mess from the trip & I set up the new stand for the bird cage I got Grouchoo at the expo. Plus I needed time to spend with them all.

I'm learning the new deck. Just started with picking two cards last night to get a feel for them. Justice & Temperance. Interesting.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- warm flannel PJs I love & got for $10 this weekend
2- love the crisp fall air
3- looking forward to a day without debt
4- my birds all love me more than I can handle at the moment. :)
5- I get to vote this afternoon on the local candidates

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN / SAMHAIN / FALL

2009-11-02T12:24:00.006-05:00

I know a tad late, but I was celebrating. Not in the typical way for me, but rather by spending time with my parents & visiting the gravesites of ancestors.

Also attended a great bird expo, where my mom almost adopted a new feathered sibling for me. She fell HARD for a 2 & 1/2 month old Harlequin Macaw that wanted to do nothing in the world more than snuggle with her. I think they were both smitten. But reason prevailed & she walked away slightly broken hearted but also hoping that someone who was younger would give the bird a home longer than she can be able to. Also she was worried that my Dad's crazy but lovable dog Molly would hurt the macaw in her playfulness.

My Panthers won their game!!! & the birds seemed to love the change of scenery. My newest, Groucho fell hard for my Dad! Talking up a storm to get his attention anytime he saw or heard him. Cute. & of course I got in lots of Badyn snuggles that I have been missing since he went to stay with them. Also saw how much good it is doing him when I caught him RUNNING! Something he really wasn't able to do anymore I thought. His arthritis is really being helped by the constant attention that my mom can give since she is home days & of course the other dogs are always encouraging him to move more!

So since for us pagans, this time of year is about remembering the past & looking toward the future, its time to revamp. Kick start a new set of goals to focus & plan on. Start anew with refreshed energy & commitment.

For starters I am redoing my goals list on SuperViva. http://superviva.com/people/MoonGoddess

If you don't already have a life list going, you should. Its fun to see what you can accomplish if you want to & nice to have a source to list everything you have done & remind yourself of your wishes. Why wait to make a bucket list? LIVE NOW!

checklist: 1. Exercise: STARTED! Steps & the plan

This Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

Last Week: Mon- / Tues- / Wed- / Thur- / Fri - / Sat- / Sun- /

TOTAL STEPS: -
TOTAL MILES: -

Total Steps Last Week:
Total Miles Last Week:

2. TOTAL DEBT: $ 16,782.55

Car Loan- $ 754.14
AC Loan- $ 4,237.00
Credit cards- $ 11,791.41
1- $1,225.85
2- $3,837.47
3- CLOSED
4- $3,922.98
5- $1,462.30
6- $412.69
7- $929.12
Emergency fund- $ 200.24

3. Embracing my inner Goddess: More time spent on spiritual development.

Planning a full moon meditation/ceremony tonight. Should be interesting trying to do things without hurting the birds. I want the incense & candles, but they may need to be in another well ventilated room. :)

Bought a new Ryder Waite Tarot deck. Its the basic one, but I have never owned it.

I signed up for a paranormal photography course. Its going to be 3 weeks long with 2 hour sessions each Friday night. Could be fun! & hoping to network with a few new people.

4. Gratitude. Today I am I thankful for:
1- new ideas & energy
2- my family, the furry, the feathered, the alive & the dead
3- Samhain/Halloween
4- PANTHERS WON!!
5- hope & cute smiles

Check out my articles page. Heck click each one daily... Every click helps me out & who knows you might learn something new.