Uploaded at the request of a friend.

Alas, that domain name is no longer mine, as I use this one instead. Twice alas, that is no longer possible (the short version of the explanation is “blizzard changed the game”).

It occurs to me, in the aftermath of my first day back after some time off (took a trip, then got riotously ill), that this was a very intelligent choice. Good boots make your whole bearing more solid. You have good traction on the ground, support for your ankles, and your feet don’t feel like they’ve been put through a grinder at the end of the day.

Hey, I said I was back. Didn’t say I’d be relevant or interesting.

That is to say:
GAH, TOO MUCH SUN!
WHAT’S GOING ON?
MAKE THE HURTING STOP!

I have, in succession, been sick, busy, attempting to prove my existence to the government of Ontario, bumped up to full-time work from part-time, been stuck in a heat-wave, crossed the country, been sick again. And here I am.

I did get a lot done this summer, but none of it involved blogging.

All two of you who have still got me on your blogroll can now cheer. I’m back! Ish. I guess.

Elf, Magic-User Melvarian the Severe considers those who do not spend as much time as himself in study and contemplation to be flighty and, to some degree, beneath him. Unfortunately, as he spends the vast majority of his time in the study of the arcane, this encompasses practically everyone. This unwelcoming attitude is not helped by his spare features and neatly-trimmed blonde hair, nor his typically dry tones. Plain robes in dark colors confirm the initial impression of academic severity.

Elf Magic-User/Thief Jessmyn Kross, thanks to Kieran.

Half-Elf Druid Sevan Petrosian, thanks to Emmy.
Half-Elf  Cleric/Fighter River Gantenbaine, thanks to Stop.
Human Monk Kosal, thanks to Kat.

Human Paladin Lochal Tyrshand has his graying brown hair tied back in a neat pony-tail. Coming from a devout family of clerics and paladins, and with forty-five years of dedicated service to Tyr under his belt, Lochal’s face is still cheerful, and his body is solidly muscled. Service for him is no hardship, but the culmination of his family’s hopes.

Dwarf Fighter Ella Stonehelm looks very much like her twin, the

Dwarf Fighter Pella Stonehelm. The typical idea of “dwarven soldier” fits here; fiery red pigtails protrude out from under metal helmets with matching chainmail. Each twin carries a battleaxe nearly her own height, and each is as ready to use them as the red hair suggests. Those dealing with the twins would do well to keep in mind that their smiling, freckled faces and green eyes mask the traditional dwarfish philosophy: “Just keep chopping until you’re face to face.”

 
Halfling Thief Aert, thanks to A Two-Bit Jeremiah.

Gnome Thief Liry “Nibbles” Nibowictz has something to prove to anyone who stands more than three feet tall. He has the typical pure-white hair of his kind, and his age could be anywhere from 20 to 400; with gnomes, it’s very hard to tell. He’s probably no older than that; certainly he moves quickly enough. Nibbles rarely sits still unless he’s hiding, and even then he conveys the impression that he’s just waiting for the opportunity to move quickly again. Sarcastic and always laughing, the only thing faster than his tongue is his fingers, and his love for puns is rivalled only by his very acquisitive nature.

Either tomorrow or Friday, we will have plot hooks! Stay tuned!

I’ve been looking for a way to stimulate myself to write more.

I’ve been looking at my first-edition D&D books sadly and wishing I’d had a chance to play way back then.

These three things are now coming together for your amusement!

After a few minutes of poking around with my Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide, I have created the Guild of the Talon. They are ten stout (hah!) stalwart (Hah!) adventurers (heh), setting forth for fame and glory.

So, as the vernacular has it, what does this have to do with you? It’s quite simple, really. These ten hapless would-be heroes will be yours to guide (to death, destruction, utter failure, etc). Once each week, at a minimum, I will be posting a short piece of fiction regarding their adventures here. There will be at least one question at the end, left up to public vote. I will then play out the scenario decided for me, and fictionalize the results.

Note that this differs from the classic choose-your-own-adventure books of yore in that, after you make a decision, the characters still have to succeed or fail at the relevant task.

The First Task:

We need names! Descriptions, even! The characters’ racial stock and professions are already decided (First edition D&D has some fairly strict requirements for class and race choices); descriptions, genders and names, I will leave up to my audience. Any un-named character will be summarily assigned personality, name, and appearance with the first update on Wednesday.

So here are your choices:

Elf, Magic-User
Elf Magic-User/Thief Jessmyn Kross, thanks to Kieran.

Half-Elf Druid Sevan Petrosian, thanks to Emmy who did not leave a link.
Half-Elf  Cleric/Fighter River Gantenbaine, thanks to Stop.
Human Monk Kosal, thanks to Kat who did not leave a link.

Human Paladin Restriction: This character must be a law-abiding, morally pure character- the quintessential ‘good guy’.
Dwarf Fighter
Dwarf Fighter
Halfling Thief Aert, thanks to A Two-Bit Jeremiah.

Gnome Thief Restriction: This character may not be law-abiding; they must be either neutral towards the law, or entirely disrespectful of it.

Thank you.

Yeah, I have bronchitis. It’s chronic with me, so this is just the most recent (and frustrating) flare up. It does interesting things to my voice, though.

Well, on May 9th, I departed to spend a week in Ohio with my girlfriend. It’s ye olde long distance, writ large; I live in Ontario and she in Ohio. But in May, hurrah, a visit!

We had a fine old time, doing… well, just regular things. We cooked together, watched a couple movies (Have I recommended Iron Man 2? Allow me to recommend Iron Man 2), played with the cats, I made her bagels, and I put a diamond ring on her finger and asked her to marry me. ¹ We went to the zoo, we visited a bookstore (she bought some history books; I, the fifth Hitchhiker’s book and Brandon San
derson’s Elantris). We played some video games (Little Big Planet, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Fallout 3). I introduced her to pool (a pool table in the basement and you don’t use it for a dozen-odd years? Tragic) and was thence roundly stomped.

Okay, so not entirely ‘just regular things’. The zoo had an exhibition of eminently adoptable pets from the local humane society.

This was the first and most exciting of the things that happened in May. You now have a minor update on The Life of Llan! Apologies that this is more of a newsdump than The Most Exciting Thing to Cross Your RSS Feed; they can’t all be gems.

So rather than ‘no news to report’, what’s actually been happening is ‘too much, too fast, too exciting to blog’. There’s been exciting stuff happening at Llanion Central, and I’ve just been too busy to sit down and write it all out.

So, yes, dusting off the old RSS feed, and we’ll be seeing some new activity in these parts. Stay tuned!

I have. I spent a fascinating two weeks one summer several years ago as a lifeguard and counsellor at a summer camp. Part of that involved supervision of children in canoes and kayaks, which necessitated me, myself, being waterborne and– unlike most of my family and friends– I’m not a fan of canoes. So as my craft of choice, I had one of the camp kayaks.

When I got home, I wanted nothing more than to get a kayak of my very own; at least, I did right up until I priced one, at which point I decided I wanted to keep a functioning pair of kidneys more (that being the only way I had at the time of raising that kind of money).

If you’re getting the gist that these aren’t exactly the cheapest items in existence, you’d be right. A cheap kayak can range into $400 at the low end. That’s a cheap kayak, mind you. An expensive one, you can just add a zero to the end of that figure.

My dream of levelling my STR and CON scores with a kayak was crushed².

It was only a couple weeks ago that I realized several things.

1. This is the internet. We have everything here.
2. People used to make kayaks by stretching waterproofed canvas over wood.
3. Boatmaking may be a skilled profession, but the way to learn is to make a boat.
4. When I want something, typically, I just make it. Pizza, bagels³, children’s toys, small items of furniture, computers, even beer… so why not a boat?

I started looking around the web. As of this evening, I have designs, plots, plans and measurements. I’ll be picking up materials in the next couple days. This has a fair few advantages over a purchased kayak; to wit, that I get to build it myself, which should be fun; that I get it at a hopefully much-reduced cost, and I can oversee every stage of its construction. Also, plastic and fiberglass kayaks are much, much heavier than a wood-and-canvas one (the quotes I keep hearing are around 25 to thirty pounds; something you can lift in one hand, basically).

Stay tuned, folks—it’s going to be a wild⁴ ride on the posts filed under this tag.

And now something to look at. Here we are:

  The music linked above is Vanessa Mae’s remix of Vivaldi’s Summer- her version, she called Storm, and it fits the picture more or less perfectly. The picture is of three of the pieces in Warmachine, a tabletop wargame, and my current game of choice.

See, as you may (or may not) know, while I am a gamer, I am finding increasingly (in, say, the last year and a half, or perhaps two years) that I’m really enjoying offline games as much or more than video games.

I’ll give you all a moment to finish screaming “sacrilege” and calling for my immediate execution, but it’s true. Whether it’s Agricola, RISK 2240, Munchkin (and its many, many varieties) Power Grid, SmallWorld, or Dominion, I really enjoy offline board and/or card games¹. All the games named above, while excellent games, have a… call it a quirk to them. They’re all excellent games, but—with the exception of Dominion and to some extent Munchkin—they are static.

What I mean by ‘static’ is this: Any single copy of the game plays like any other. Dominion I consider borderline non-static, given the incredible variations you can pull off² and, of course, Munchkin has that mix-and-match flavoring going on, but there’s no customization.

Now, there are other tabletop games that are non-static. The three big kinds are TCGs like Magic or the WoW TCG, role-playing games like Shadowrun and Dungeons and Dragons, and tabletops miniatures games like Warhammer, Warmachine (pictured above) or Monsterpocalypse³. While you are given a basic toolkit to start with, you ‘build’ your playing pieces to interact with the game the way you want to.

This is basically a long-winded way to say: I’ve started playing Warmachine. I really enjoy it. See the pretty picture? Those are three of my pieces. I’m playing as a team called Cygnar⁴, but with my own color scheme (purple, white, and rusted metal) substituted for the faction’s usual colors⁵.

You’re likely to see much more of Warmachine around here, so it is now its own category tag.

So, yes. This is an introduction and a warning; you are likely to see any or all of the following on this blog in the future:

• Battle reports.⁶
• Painted, unpainted, and in-progress models.
• Fiction. There’s a reason my units are purple and rust instead of gleaming blue-white and gold. And I am an incurable writer and roleplayer.
• Comparisons between Warmachine and some of my favorite video games⁷.