Moral Kiosk

Drive

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 07:10:00 +0000

Ryan Gosling, 'the driver'
I had read a lot of good things about Drive so was excited as the movie started.
The opening scene is quite edgy, where the driver helps a couple of robbers get away from a score, avoiding police cars and helicopters! There are very few lines spoken on screen for the first 10 minutes. The driver is a quiet man, man of action.
From there on, the movie flattens out. I was expecting another score that the driver takes on, but instead he meets a young mother and her son who stay next doors. He seems to enjoy the company and starts caring for them. We learn that the driver works at a garage and and as a stuntman for movies, while moonlighting as a getaway driver by night. His boss at the garage borrows money from a mob boss to fund a race car which he thinks, with the driver behind the wheels, shall reap in the greens.
The driver decides to help out the woman's husband, who, while in jail, has gotten into some trouble with some Albanian gang over protection money. So they tell him to rob a pawn shop. But the score goes wrong, when the man is double crossed. It turns out the mob boss had planned the double cross from the beginning, hiring the Albanians for the job. From here on, the film turns violent. The driver is capable of killing with his bare hands, or with any accessories available. He wants to protect the woman and the kid at any cost. Eventually, he annihilates the mob boss and his gang and the Albanians and gets hurt pretty bad in the process. He leaves.

The film is stylish and colourful, with minimum dialogues but rich visuals. The lack of words, it seems, is compensated by the violent encounters and a few car chases.
The violence is quite in the face, real, 'you want to look away but also want to see how it looks' kind.

Its about a getaway driver, a character otherwise not given much focus in many plots. The camera doesn't follow the man who robs the store, but stays with the driver, getting a little anxious with every passing minute.

'Drive' reminded me of 'A History of Violence', mainly due to the violence and similarities between the lead characters - the hidden killing streak, an inclination to live better, simpler lives and a violent past (which is not shown in 'Drive', but implied in my opinion).

I was expecting a more complicated plot, but the movie 'stays' with the driver, his perspective. (Its also based on a novel and stays close to the original course I guess)

Summer is here!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 09:56:00 +0000

It fascinates me how every season has its own 'sound'. The ceiling fan sounds very distinct in summer; it is afternoon and the fan's whooshing is the only sound against the hushed backdrop of the very quiet noon; the roads are deserted, may be a hawker selling early mangoes or a scrap vendor, but that's all. Now imagine the same ceiling fan on a December afternoon, well firstly, in all possibility it won't be on! But even if it were, it won't be the only thing making noise. The street would be more lively, for the Sun is as meek as it can be high in the sky. There would also be a certain liveliness in the air, the winter kind.
Then there is the cloudy monsoon afternoon, air bursting with a million possibilities, in the mind there is a longing for something romantic, but also a cup of coffee! This kind of afternoon also has birds going berserk over god knows what, but they are happy just to be flying around in the cool air I guess.
It's an amazing feeling when one day you notice these subtle differences and know that a season has 'arrived'. It changes the way a room feels in the house, it changes the coziness of the couch, and of the mind too!

The small picture

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:32:00 +0000

The units were all excited. It was for the first time that they were being placed individually. The arrangement ensured there was no mass transfer, which usually resulted in loss of billions of units. The Great Arm worked tirelessly, picking each unit carefully and placing it at the right spot.

The scientists waited patiently. The first shift in the new factory was in process. It could not be seen, for it was almost smaller than the light waves that otherwise would have reflected back. The factory was creating the first surgical battleship, a nano robotic device that was capable of destroying cancer cells. The factory itself was a result of high precision microscopic engineering, a giant leap at atomic scale, a beautiful creation to move and arrange the building blocks of the universe. At this scale, the only way to 'see' was through magnetic resonance, vibrating the tiny particles and converting the response into imagery output.

Each unit is a molecule. It is a whole new world, like a solar system. It is the genesis of all. Now the units were in place, ready to work magic, achieve huge feats at tiny scale, which would enormously impact the world we live in.

Right Write

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 03:12:00 +0000

Its been a while but here i am, in a train, using the mobile to write this stuff! A four hours train journey is a lot of time on hand, and who wants to look at the ppt again and again? No point in draining the lappy's battery. I really need to start writing again. Lately, there is that feeling of not having anything to write about, why, even at this moment i feel so. It was different in college, may be it was more stimulating than now. The somewhat mundane nature of the job kills the interesting ideas that used to flood the brain and rush up to the finger tips and on to the keyboard! So its more than ever necessary to keep writing now and then, just to avoid rusting the grey cells.

The journey

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 14:49:00 +0000

Higher is better. Nothing is promised when you aim low.

A creek so clear

It’s almost see thru

Thirst, the taste of dust

I forget what I came thru

The desert was a spell

Its sky a millions watts

The reasons not known

I, burning, without a hat

Hope alone weighed a ton

A burden not be undone

This weight, I egged on

Slow march, in to the dawn

The scenes changed slowly

Something new, a river valley

Moist, cool, green shine

I’m Here, its pretty, alpine!

I'm back!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:35:00 +0000

I'm back, I'm back, ya ya ya!

Gone are those days when the keyboard was alive with the words that I wanted to type :(
The creativity has been sucked out, the keys are lifeless, burdened with too many RFPs and SOPs and TDDs and such obscure laundry...

Well I shall regain the control (or so I think!)

I will POST and with ease, and with eagerness ( i will not commit to the frequency right now!)

The wordsmith in me will create masterpieces again!

Watch this place!

They sent Avataar to the Hurt Locker!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:08:00 +0000

First of all, enough has been said about The Hurt Locker - its reels reek with inaccuracies and every veteran has denounced it. But it is an entertaining movie.
The Oscars produced a much anticipated upset. A big one. Just to put it in perspective, The Hurt Locker hasn't been seen in India yet. Not released officially. I saw it unofficially ;) But very few have seen it at all. Avataar, on the other hand, was huge here. Liked by many. Many were sure it would sweep them golden boys clean

But the Academy chose a low budget film over a five-year in making masterpiece.

The last time I remember something remotely similar happened was when Private Ryan lost to Shakespeare!

I think The Hurt Locker is much more gripping and a lot unpredictable than Avataar. It does not have a definite story line. But its characters definitely develop over the course of the movie. The central character, SSG James, is like a cowboy, and I am almost certain they took some inspiration from some John Wayne movies! He is in his own world, even when he is among his team. He instills a fear in them , for he will do what they don't even think about doing.
The movie never comments on the war itself; it is essentially about one man's addiction to war, to action. It is as if the war is a prerequisite for his existence.
Avataar's storyline was quite well developed but became apparent very soon. I was honestly not that impressed with the movie. Taken individually, the visual effects and the new camera techniques introduced by Cameroon are pretty impressive. But I do not usually like a film for just one aspect and for the same reason, don't dislike it for any one either.
So after an hour and half through Avataar, I was pretty sure how it was going to end. I am not discrediting the filmmaker here. I was interested in the plot at that point, but I knew how it would broadly unfold. I was not on the "edge" of my seat , to put it in more tangible word
The Hurt Locker had me on the verge of my bed! I was pretty sure this crazy boy was going to be blown away in the end. Or be shot at by some unseen sniper. But that didn't happen...The script is one of the tightest I have experienced, and quite unpredictable.

The Hurt Locker is an action/thriller/war, while Avataar is a Drama/adventure/romance mix, and I like action/thriller/wars, that are well directed and well acted!
And I am guessing the Academy thought on similar lines too!

Total eclipse of the head!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 09:46:00 +0000

The eclipse that just happened was an eye-opener. Not that I looked at it directly, but i looked around and saw people not eating and remaining in doors. I mean balls man! Big shiny ones!
People actually believe in that shit still? These are the CAs, the MBAs and the lot. They do not eat food when our dumbasss moon gets in front of our dumbass sol! (I actually like both them very much:) You couldn't find a more 'warm' hearted ball of glowing gas anywhere else in the universe, and he is only 5 billion years old!)...well my point is, these people should do this more often. It will save a great deal of food and water...
Some didn't even get out of the house! Talk about going to the mars!

wtf am i doing in this job?

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:12:00 +0000

goddamnit im bored!!! this job is boring, sitting around in an uncomfertable chair and typing lame ass non discript thngs on the screen....this is not a man's job!! i would rather be a firefighter or a lumberjack...i'd rather be anywhere, doing anything but this....
What could i do...what does one do......you've got one life....need to do things that make some sense...in the prime years,instead making your bones weak in inactivity. I hate this!

Office space

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:34:00 +0000

My office has shifted to a new location. We have moved to Narangibaag lane, a laid back residential lane, tree lined on both sides. It is a soothing sight compared to the harshness of Nagar road.
The one rain that we have had so far, was a beautiful spectacle, with winds making the trees dance wildly. The many birds which reside in these tress make this quite an interesting place. Doves are in a plenty, and also Bulbuls, Parakeets and some others which I haven't been able to ID!

The office building is right in the middle of one of the most expensive residential blocks in the city.
A building coming up diagonally across the office will have one suite each floor, with its own swimming pool and jacuzi! You can only guess the price tag it would carry...
It took some time to adjust here, but since then its been good. Plenty of eating-out options nearby, which is a big plus point: there's KP and DP road, teo main streets with a few kms.

Thats it about the new office...

In Bruges

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:58:00 +0000

Can a hitman have a heart? If so, can it feel pity or remorse?what about guilt? Hitmen are people in the end anyway.

Can the above questions be core of a very well made , character driven, funny, beautiful looking piece of cinema? Well, yes.

It's called In Bruges. Like the title, it is almost entirely filmed in Bruges, Belgium.

Ray (Colin Farrell) is a fresh recruit and botches up his first job. He is sent away to Bruges with his older partner Ken(Brendan Gleeson) by their employer, Harry (Ralph Fiennes) to await further instructions.

There, the two invariably are affected by the city, the younger chap doesn't like the inaction of the place, and his guilt at killing a little kid in his first job starts overwhelming him. The older guy actually like the city a lot, with its medieval architecture and winding canals and cobbled pathways

The two interact with a host of characters which includes a midget (dwarf :)) actor from America, a beautiful drug supplier for whom Ray falls hard and an eccentric arms supplier who like alcoves; the story takes the turn when Harry orders Ken to kill Ray.

Collin Farrell is the champion here. His portrayal of the guilt ridden hitman is a superb mixture of vulnerability, recklessness, violence, absurdity and the edgy Irish humour. But his guilt is real, and he is honestly suicidal throughout the movie!

The two are trapped in Bruges, and forced to look inwards and contemplate their lives so far, and where they might be headed. Bruges is their Purgatory . It is here that they are stuck, between Heaven and Hell, waiting for their individual judgement days,

This is definitely a "different" movie. I was expecting a Hollywood style all guns blazing show, but it turned out to be something much, much better. A screenplay like this getting a chance into being made into a movie with two A list actors is a huge thing. I mean there is no Jason Bourne here!

And it was released in India! And I missed it there :( So had to watch it on HBO with heavy cutting of even mildly violent scenes, which was quite irritating. Not to add the muting of every Fook -a British movie without any F words! How sad...

A very gratifying watch after all.

The Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:48:00 +0000

He was sitting in a room, which resembled a flight deck of a space ship – lot of buttons on the front panels, but what he remembered clearly was the huge window, tall and wide, showcasing the immense stretch of the stars that shone brightly outside, but he couldn’t tell whether the view was from a space ship or from earth.

He was there with his father, standing behind him. They were looking at the scene in front of them, and suddenly, the stars shifted, the whole sky shuddering violently, as if someone had shaken the camera of a live telecast, only it was right in front of his eyes. It was as if a massive earthquake had hit the skies, and made the stars shift their immortal positions. It filled him with an overwhelming sense of finality, like watching the last ball of an unchaseble target, the end to everything…and peace

Fear

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 11:48:00 +0000

Fear is the real denominator. It is the active force that pushes you…or freezes you. It is the liquid energy that can become hope, determination or shear power with time.

Fear is causal, always attached to something; it needs an anchor. It is felt in the chest, in the stomach, on the skin, on the tongue…everywhere. Fear belittles the ambitions, the free spirit. It cripples the presence of mind

It also forces unprecedented actions… under the pressure of fear, the rigid bonds in the mind are broken, for better or for worse…if for better, than one can soar as high as imaginable, and the fear of fear is shed exponentially with the height…but if for worse, then one becomes a black hole, sucking all the light and living in permanent cold darkness…the lights of hope are never there to break the tentacles of despair and melancholy.

Fear is the bitter pill that’s hard to swallow; it is both the pain and the cure. Fear is not the gun, but it is the hand that pulls the trigger, it is not the criminal, but the criminal intent – it is the ultimate pusher, catalyst, inflictor. It blinds the faith and wounds the soul.
Someone great said, “The only thing to fear is fearlessness”; we fear everything else but that.

the next life?

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:41:00 +0000

Where would you like to take birth in the next life?

I would like to be born in some other country, probably in Europe

Don’t you love India? Have you no respect and liking for your motherland?

Look, I like this country, to a certain extent…its complicated. I definitely don’t see things around me that make me proud of India. What should I be proud of, the unity in diversity crap? There are more divisions in this country than cracks on a shattered window pane. The India shining propaganda is as old as the non existent shine.

So, if I’m worthy of another human life, if at all it is there, I see no harm in saying I would like to belong to a better society. This answer has everything to do with the way I have perceived the society around me, all that this mind has witnessed over all these years – it is not a liberal progressive right wing India bashing- it sounds like it, but it isn’t. We are doing well in many ways, but there are fundamental flaws that undermine ALL the progress. It is hard to overlook the blaring negatives and say that we are the superpower of the future. Mass of the populous of this country lives just to see the next day. Talk about India Shining to them and you are bound to get a blank face. They’ll just say they want better roads, electricity…atleast an honest government. We don’t care about the GDP. Give us a better way of life. That is where this country has failed all along and it is failing as we live out our days

Can’t get there from here

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 04:40:00 +0000

Indian roads are more fatal than bomb blasts and AK47s. They are disorderly and chaotic. The red signal is just a fucking joke – that’s what most of us feel…
Whoever tells you that India is ‘shinning’, that it’ll be a superpower by 2030 or whatever year is a fucking liar.

How can it be a superpower? On what basis? The bloody GDP and FDI? I don’t care about them, no sir! Give me a good road to walk on and some public transportation first. Fuck the Indian cricket. I don’t care if we loose every single match henceforth or Sachin gets out on 99 till he retires, I simply don’t give a fuck! Those are the least important things in our country’s context.

We need real growth. We need mobilization of funds and people, of minds and acts, to put the people first. The one billion people are expecting some basics in their lives from the government. And those expectations have been there for ages now. Don’t sell us the story of a shinning India for there exists none. The multi-millions of poor have always been in the rear view, much closer than they appear. But we have been ignoring all of them…I say we since it is not some alien superpower or our very ‘friendly’ neighbors that have caused the exploitation of our masses. It’s been us all along the way. We have shunted our own growth. We, who don’t pay taxes, we who break the signal everyday, we who bribe as per our convenience and then close our eyes and shout in protest, we who realize only after a dozen and more cops die from the 7.62 mm Kalashnikov bullets that ‘OH! They did not have good enough bullet proof vests’. You fucking morons, it took you a bunch of brave hearts cops’ death to realize that???

And in argument, some fuckhead will tell me – why don’t you do something then?? Go join the Army. I’ll say this – Firstly, I’m doing what I want to do, and then, I do what is expected of me – I pay my taxes, I stop at the red light (before the zebra crossing), I don’t bribe. I expect or rather DEMAND, that the government I have elected do its job. And more than that, I expect the fellow Indians to do their duty. Don’t be a filthy hypocrite bunch, yelling abuses at the traffic cop while your million rupee vehicle mows down people on the road. Change. Change yourself.

We have reached here without any planning. This country is an accident. The causalities have been low, but they are increasing. We are growing, but that’s inflation. The cities have no roads, but the fucking builders are producing bastard malls by raping the earth. Where are the roads? The road that was 10m wide 10 years back is still 10m wide – the traffic- that’s 10 folds…and now there is a five story mall by the roadside, right in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Which country worth its soil has this??

The list is endless – millions without sanitation, electricity, EDUCATION! I sound like an everyday chest beater who cries his country’s follies and then snuggles up in his warm bed and blanket at night, forgetting everything. But lately, it’s been tough having a sound sleep. It’s a point blanc life we live these days. It better get settled down and WE need to ensure it does so.

Change is very important. Even a promise of it made someone the President and an election campaign probably the most successful in that country’s history. Well, I don’t see an Obama in India’s future. What we do have is us – a billion Obamas. We are everywhere. We are the ones who run the civil services, the hospitals, the courts, the schools, the farms, the buses - everywhere, everything. We need to change. No other way will do.

Wes Anderson’s characters

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 08:29:00 +0000

Wes Anderson’s movies are about people who are almost total nutcases.

His world is full of people who want to be loved but don’t care about others, who have lost someone even before he or she is dead, who are not sure if the person they love loves them back, who try suicide but not enough so that they’ll die….nutcases, in a way.

The characters all are a bit cartoon-like. They wear the same cloths and same hairstyle when they are 12 and when they are 30 – the jumpsuits worn by Ben Stiller and his sons’ characters in The Tenenbaums is a prime example. I think he uses it primarily to show that these people have not grown up – but then isn’t it a too literal representation? The humour in his movies is quite subtle (and the dialogues work on multitude of levels), but because of the humour, the audience may not be really emphatic about the plight of the characters. So it is not a full blown comedy, and it is not a drama, it is something in between – it is becomes quite lukewarm in the process.

Probably there is sarcasm that I can’t read and a lot irony as well. There is the portrayal of a slice of personalities that if you met otherwise if real life, you will certainly be wary of, for they will stand out in a crowd and their presence around you will make you quite uncomfortable. His movies are not about regular folks, they are about folks who want to be regular, want a regular, normal (in their own definition) life.

The last movie I watched was Rushmore. It is a good movie – acting is fine, the story isn’t too bad (a little dragging at times); the same thing could be said about The Darjeeling Limited, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life aquatic….but I fail to really care for the characters – they are all hurt in some way, their family is broken (most of the times), they fall for women whom they can’t have etc….but still, by the end of the movie, I really don’t care which way the fate swings for them.

The movie that stands out is Bottle Rocket. First few minutes into the movie and I was totally engrossed into the lives of the two lead characters, played by the Wilson brothers (Owen Wilson’s debut role). This is the most moving film Anderson has ever made. The movie revolves around two friends who are small time thieves with big dreams; one of them just out of a rehab for breakdown, played by Luke Wilson. He is the more sensitive one, and you wonder why did he have to go the rehab in the first place.

You do wonder Dignan, played by Owen Wilson, needs some help! He is spot on as the bumbling, hyper active type who has big dreams…no matter if they involve robbing book stores and cold storage units! He plays a similar character in The Royal Tenenbaums, who ultimately needs some psychiatric help to get over his troubles. His character reminds me of some kids in my school. These were the boys that got into trouble with teachers all the time. They were friends with some kids who were way older and weirder. These were the kids who bunked school mid-day to go play or did it just for the heck of it. When you talked with them, they were a little less coherent in their thoughts but not dumb. They were the unpredictables.

Owen Wilson plays it to perfection. He is almost adorable in that role.

The more subdued part of the group is Luke Wilson’s character –his character symbolizes the directionlessness in life, and the effort to find that missing direction; he falls in love with a room service girl at a motel, and that is when he realizes he has found something to hold on to.

Unlike the other Anderson movies, I cared for what happens to these guys in the end, partly because unlike his other movies, the cast is smaller. There isn’t an ensemble of characters like in the Tenenbaums or Life Aquatic. Which also means the story is more focused compared to other movie, and you are not made to watch through a microscope the slide show of clashing personalities in great numbers.

The quest for spirituality in The Darjeeling Ltd was too lame. Being an Indian, I really don’t get that impressed when someone from outside tries to make it a theme in his movie. But it worked well in the US. It did move people (I guess). I failed to understand why someone would come to India, when they need to look within. There is a lot of symbolism in this movie, although not everyone is going to get it. I did not. I was left with this half empty, half full feeling after watched the move. While I enjoyed the train journey with the three brothers across my country, it failed to move me.

His movies are interesting, and he has his own unique style (with all those slow-motions – almost Bollywoodisque!). They put me in a kind of confused mode – I liked The Royal Tenenbaums, but I’m not sure if I give a damn about any of them? Why so?

When a movie does make you think – ‘why are you not thinking about the fate of the characters?’ ,does it mean that the movie is working??

There is no Sun here!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:29:00 +0000

After you take a right turn in front of the Bishop’s Co Ed in Kalyani nagar, you enter a very narrow lane. This is the beginning of the ‘mega’ road that leads you to the so called ‘Sun City’ by the Bramha Builders in Pune.

There are about 3 blind turns (90 degrees sharp) along the way…oh and it gets better…this is also the PMT route. So when the bus, which is wider than the paved tar road, enters this stretch, it sends a cold shiver down the spine of every biker and car-wala (more so in the later case)…say goodbye to atleast 45 minutes if you are at the far opposite end of road, either on left or right!

So you somehow manage to reach the place (by the way there is another way in, from Nagar road, but it is only convenient if you are NOT coming from Kalyani nagar or KP; and to use it, you have to get to Nagar road first, a travesty in itself), you come inside and go park and go to the entrance lobby.

Wait wait wait…let me go back to the entrance again…supposedly Asia’s largest gate…so you enter after feeling like your life’s goal has been achieved, you will be greeted by some well landscaped greenery, which is quite well done.

You get to the desired building and to the lobby. You see two KONE lifts, but only one is active. You wonder why:

If you stay on the 7th or 8th floor, then do not dare leave for office between 9 and 9:30 in the morning. Why, the only available lift is being used by the garbage collectors! Yes, and they will keep it busy for atleast 30-45 minutes, everyday.

That’s not all that’s phony about this place. There is one security guard in two buildings. So your security is really compromised. The area is open to one side due to ongoing construction from which anyone can enter.
There are heavy vehicles which use the same internal roads used buy all the residents and children as well. It’s a pain to be awakened by noisy trucks on Sunday mornings.

There is no space between two buildings. You can’t tell where one building starts and where it merges into the next one (this is the layout of choice for an increasing number of housing projects in Pune. A modern chawl system…it is disgusting I tell you!).
All the buildings are atleast 8-9 stories high. So when you are standing on the tarmac below, it’s am imposing concreter jungle.

Since the buildings are built like Siamese twins, there is no privacy left – sounds, smells, light – everything is free flowing. Unless you have a corner flat, your apartment is only open on one side, that too only enough open in one balcony - so very meager sun light and wind in you room.

This was one of the most hyped projects when it was launched in Pune, with Katrina Kaif as brand ambassador. It fails to deliver on a lot of points. Having stayed in Magarpatta City before moving here, I felt even more strongly against the short comings. Magarpatta is so well managed in all the regards. It is the only township in Pune which should be allowed to add ‘City’ in the name. Here, the garbage collectors just dump all the litter from the buildings right in the parking lot! So it’s a feast for the stray dogs. (I dare not call them stray, for they live here more than I do, if you count the hours!) . In Magarpatta, the garbage was directly put in a tractor that arrived at the same time as the garbage collectors, so all the garbage was out of the building within half an hour.

The lifts are ill maintained, apart from only one being active, as I’ve already mentioned:

Instead of using bolts and screws, we see insulation tape - What an idea!

And it does…oops!

No one should buy or rent out (like I am) a place here. Even if one overlooks all these things, the major drawback is the approach road, there is none that’s big enough – a road from Adlabs was to be ready last year which would have directly come till the entrance – there are no signs of that happening anytime soon…So find a better place to enjoy the Sun!

Some Kossu, anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 09:07:00 +0000

Finns are funny people...

Finnish flat tyre
Antero is driving down the road when 'boom' he gets a flat tyre. "Saatana" he says, and after discovering he doesn't have a jack, he decides to walk down the road and try to borrow one from someone.
As he's walking, he's thinking "Damn, they probably won't have one." He walks a little further, and the growing suspicion increases... "I BET they don't have one". He walks further... "DAMN IT, I'm sure they won't have one, and if they did they wouldn't lend it to me anyway."
Finally he reaches a cottage, picks up a rock and hurls it through the window, shouting "KEEP YOUR BLOODY JACK!!"

--------

Finnish drinking game
There are two versions of this game for Finns; regular and advanced.
Regular: Three Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with half a litre of Kossu (Finland's famous Koskenkorva vodka). They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other two have to guess who went outside....
Advanced: TWO Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with a litre of Kossu. They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other guy has to guess who went outside....

-------

Taking the Bull to the Butcher

Extract from 'Under the North Star' - Väinö Linna
"Well then, this old man once went to take a bull to the butcher, and he took some turpentine with him. And that bull got tired, so the old man put some turpentine on his balls. Then the bull started running so fast that the old man put turpentine on his own balls. But the bull's balls stopped stinging before the old man's and when the old man got to the butcher's he handed him the rope and said hold on to this I've still got a ways to go..."

----------

At the airport...
A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself, "Wow, she's gorgeous! And I think she's a flight attendant...but which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan, "Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, "Hmm, no, she doesn't work for Delta."
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again; "Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried the United slogan, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies!"
This time the woman looked at him, irritated, and screamed "What the $%#! do you want?!"
The man slumped back in his chair, and said: "Ahh, Finnair..."

--------

Finnish soldier
A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked
"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"
"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.
The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.
"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"
"I screwed her again," he answered.
The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.
"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"
"I took off my skis and had a beer."

The only river...

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:42:00 +0000

The man stood there, in the arid land of the Deccan, with thorn bushes scattered in the entire flat valley. His eyes shone as bright as the perpendicular Sun above. His thick grey beard made him look very aged, contrary to what the eyes told.

The hot air made his cloth flutter around him violently.

He started walking towards the settlement that lay beyond the dry riverbed.

A Safari pulled up somewhere in the large dustbowl. Its white now all khaki, the dark windows still rolled up. Two people climbed out.

“Darn hot it is; this is an oven man”

“We start say, about there, near those rocks. That seems like the smack middle of the river”

The two are carrying some instruments. They seem scientific, both the men and their equipments.

“You know, as I think of this, it seems like a big waste of my adult life. This, here, is a place which is baking in the sun as we walk. It is May for God’s sake. Do you see anything around us? This is like Mars, only worse cause we are not astronauts, and that makes it so uncool!

The older of the two hasn’t spoken a word yet. He is analyzing the riverbed.

The river, when it was blessed to be aqueous a long time ago, flowed in all its grandeur, two hundred meters wide here. The valley now was the river then.
The smoothened rocks were a testament to the furious waters that once noised around the river bend. On this May afternoon, everything was quiet, apart from an occasional Kite as it searched for an odd snake or two.

It seemed as if history suffered from the Alzimer’s disease, forgetting about this magnificent river as each year passed. The river started losing its scale, and no one knew why. The rains were there each year, so there was no dearth of water. Still the waters reduced from the bank, year after year. Folks moved away from her, blaming the decay on the powers Above; the fertile riverbank became many sandlots. She was left alone to her fate, and one day, she just vanished.

“Set up that thing over here and start taking readings”. The older one finally broke his silence.

“I want to be exact this time. We’ll need to tread along at least a hundred meters, from here”, he pointed out a spot to the younger one.

“Did you say hundred?”

“Yes I did. That’s just the beginning. The earth here is soft. This is the best spot to catch her. We’ll concentrate all our efforts here, say a stretch of two kilometers along the river.”

They got busy with their task as the Sun began the journey to the other end of the sky.

“She was looking for some solace I guess. At least it seems like that to a mere mortal like me”

They look up to see the man standing there.

“How long were you observing us?”

The man smiles, “Since your were a child”

“That’s a good one.”

“Aren’t you a little lost here? The other pilgrims usually take the bridge to cross the bank, don’t they?”

The man smiles again.
“So any success with your endeavor?”

“How do you even know what are we up to here?”

“Oh I know, so very well. You are trying to see if this is where she is resting. You are trying to hear her playful sounds through the earth. That’s what I know”

“So you know she is here? How old are you?” asked the older scientist, wiping off the sweat on his forehead, a little bewildered.

“Age is what one goes investigating about a man whose words seem too right for his attire”

“That would make a pretty neat status message” the younger one was enjoying this visit now

“Tell us more”

“This is all; around you, what you see, this is the present. She is down there. Let her be in peace”

“If she is indeed flowing below our feet, then she would solve a lot of issues. Do you see a single flowering plant for miles around you? This land needs water in abundance. This was once a farmland…it could well be the same again”

“She went under because she was tired, long tired of carrying all the filth that the World offered, that’s all it had to offer. She went away; now she is in a different world, a world of her own. “

“She will be the only pure thing left when this world erodes away; she will water the parched earth when the harsh seasons have wiped away all the greenery and hope from this planet. Save her for that…she is the future hope of this very predictable and dark present”.

The man started walking away, leaving his words hung in the dry air like dark balloons.

The two kept looking at him till he was gone. They looked at each other and got back to their task.

“The heat must have got him” The younger one opined.

The older one looked again in the direction in which the man had gone.

“I guess it did. It made him see the future”.

looking back

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:47:00 +0000

I'm missing college, really a lot! Not because we had great teachers (we didn't) or that the campus was awesome (it wasn't) I'm missing my friends! At the end of two years, we were just getting bonded so well and that's when the departure came about.

And this is despite all the ups and downs in the friendships, all the misunderstandings and petty issues..all that was a part of it...and that was fine.

I'm also missing them because I'm the one who got left behind, like a soldier left behind in the war field...(kidding!) So it feels even more, when I pass through the street where I used to hang out, or when I pass in front of the college...and the other day I was looking at the scribbling day T-shirt, and that was quite nostalgic! People have really written some very interesting things about me there - lady charmer !? (why not? hehehe)...it cracks me up every time :)

I think it is natural that one will feel this way when the friends one had around suddenly went away one fine day! That's the way it happened...two years we literally ran into each other everywhere...now I have to make new (good) friends, which is not easy, since the set of people I meet regularly is quite small.

Anyway, so this is the deal. I'm coping with it. It's not a life critical situation. But I look at someone and it reminds of a friend from the batch, or I think about watching a movie, and I miss those with whom I really enjoyed watching movies and attending the film festival here...things will not be that way ever again...

near wild heaven...but not near enough!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 10:17:00 +0000

I want to fall in love so well that the rationale clouds in my head won’t make a difference; the conviction out of it should be stronger than the gravity of a black hole…well, that’s what and how it should be…ideally. And as the legacy of love as such suggests, all the greatest lovers had that conviction, somehow.

It’s not that easy…I can’t override the rational mind and apply my emotions right away, cause at each moment, my rational mind is evaluating my emotions, checking them against a zillion things. WHY?

I hate to be so cautious, but I don’t know any other way.

It also happens because I feel I need to be ‘right’ about everything that I decide. The difference is, I should ‘feel’ the rightness rather than arrive at it or ‘calculate’ it. It is what we call intuition or going by the heart….hmmmm…see, I know how I need to be. Very well indeed, but I am not there yet.

Or is it that love happens despite all these things being there, and somehow your state of mind is a combination of rational and irrational (emotional) outlooks towards that one person…?

I think I need to take a breather and not wreck my brains out over all this…but I’m not thinking of all this out of context…there is a context… and there are constraints…constraints sounds so technical! There are considerations let’s say…, which I must look into. If they call it falling in love, then they should have known that some of us would fall with a parachute, because the impact would be too harsh if one falls anywhere else!

I need the sunrays of clear thought piercing the clouds in my head…

I’m staring in the mirror, and there is a stranger staring right back at me and I hope he tells me something about me that I have not yet known!

Good Advices

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:23:00 +0000

The phone rings. It seems to be ringing in the dream I am watching, but it keeps ringing and I’m finally taken away from imagery paradise...

“Hello?”

“Dude, sorry to wake you up at this hr”

If he had said ‘Were you sleeping?” I would have sent a bullet through the airwaves

I recognize the caller

“What’s the matter?”

“Well, I need some advice”

“At this hour? You need some sleep “

“Had it been any other hour, I would have asked for much more”

He says it so matter of fact that I’m taken aback for a second. Oh that’s so generous of you, I think in my mind.

"Shoot”

“Ok. Well..Umm..I have this friend who is new to Pune and he and some friends wanted to know if it was safe to go to Station at this hour... and they stay in Kalyaninagar, kinda inside, so and some of them are in town just for a couple of days you know”

“Have you fallen on your head? Did a bat suck the living wisdom out of you??” It’s ..it’s ( check my watch) 2:40 in the night man!!!” “You are asking the worst...this is not even an advice that you are asking!? I’m not a bloody nightwatchman to be bothered about the nocturnal safe places of visit in the city!

(I’m screaming in a low voice, and it bothers the dog; he gives me a look of tired hopelessness)

“What I wanted your opinion on, is something else”

“ I hope you don’t want to know which particular bakery or tea stall they should visit at 3 am, cause most of the tea stalls don’t have sign boards and I would recommend the Viceroy bakery...can I sleep now?”

“It’s about this girl...well she is with them, and I like her! I know it sounds a bit weird, and well right now I’m headed towards where they are staying, in Kalyaninagar, kinda inside I told you...anyway, so I have my bike and she might ride with me...and I just ...I need an opening”

“An opening?”

“I did break ice in the day when we were together”

(Where did two of you go to break ice, the Alps?) I didn’t say it out loud cause between a good joke and sleep, always go for sleep - you can laugh in your dreams...but this bugger friend of mine was not letting me of the hook just yet.

“that’s grand”

(silence on the other end”)

“Take her to..ummm...Khadakwasla. It’s almost full moon tonight...the lake and moonlight, she by your side etc etc...or go and sit at some secluded place like the Z bridge near Decaan “ (What the hell am I saying!?)

“Well, I was thinking more about your place”

“(upright in the bed)what about my place?”

“Like I can bring her there and we will sit in your balcony and talk till the daybreak”

“Are you crazy? Have you completely lost your already evaporating mind? I’ve a dog, dirty laundry and oh, A DAY TOMORROW!!! No way!”

“ Look, simple advice, don’t get your hopes high...go to Station...have some tea and pastries...take her on a ride...you know the city like no other punk, and just roam around...make conversation. Where is she from by the way?”

“Goa”

“Goa? Hmmm exotic...”

“Just go there and things will happen, that’s the best I can tell you...I’m no Don Juan you know it” (not feeling too proud saying that)

“Are you there?”

“Yes...ok.I’ll see..I’ll try not to mess it up...thanks for talking”

“Relax and just be cool man. Don’t think about the mess, cause you don’t have anything to mess. Be spontaneous”

“Spontaneous”

“Yes”

“Ok. I’ll see you in the morning”

“Hehe...No. I don’t think so. My day will be late by atleast a couple of hours, so ...until some solid double digit hours...goodbye. Take it easy”

“Yeah sure”

I’m back in my bed. This was random, quite so, I mean the conversation. It didn’t make any sense and in the end, I’m damn sure it didn’t help him. It did make me wonder about a certain profession, suddenly. I don’t know why about this particular profession that I found a similarity between it and the conversation I just had:

Is this what consultants do?

The chronicles of loneliness

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Lying in the twin sized bed, he is wondering, with a single pillow under his single head. The song is talking about someone on a similar bed, with a similar pillow under a similar head.

He is not alone, he is lonely.

He is inside his dark room, tucked away beneath the dark corridors which only his eyes can see. They are inside him, the corridors, in the morose corner of his mind.

He is longing for a perspective, a view above the horizon. He is not interested in the dark side of the moon, but that’s what he is been getting. He is tired of bits and pieces coming his way.

He is riding an ending spiral. The lights in the room are lit, but he can’t see anything. He is blinded by the sight. His heart is like a window pane after a rain shower, smeared by raindrops, which eventually leave behind the smear marks.

It is no one’s fault. The seats were already taken when he wished to sit. He doesn’t mind standing, as long as there is someone standing by him.

In his head there are only echoes and remains. of friends and lovers, as if they really made his day someday.

He writes to be reached, but the lines are down always.

The Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Wed, 21 May 2008 07:29:00 +0000

Snap out of it as soon as possible. Not worth bursting your hearts and brains about it.

The car is in full speed when the blue truck in front suddenly breaks, the trailer behind it turning clockwise, threatening to strike the car out. She breaks hard, and decides to take the car off the highway, into the fields, turning hard to the left. She feels a solid jerk as the car hits the ditch. She misses the sweeping truck by inches; it hits the van that was traveling just ahead of her, the metal making a sad and friction noise, accompanied by the ugly screeching of breaks. Then there is silence. And smoke. She is in a corn field, her rear view mirror showing the metal carnage behind.

She is still, her heart pounding like a hydraulic drill. But she is stable, not trembling. She gets out of the car. The sun is low to the left of her, where the road meets the horizon. From the look of it, it seems no lives might be lost here. A lot of damage to the vehicles.

She is thinking about the fight...or ‘discussion as he preferred calling it. A break up is a break up... no denying its aftershocks. She felt as if it all had been a big deception. NOW it made all sense – just too good to have been true anytime during its two years existence. She never thought he was capable of such a deceit. A lot of other men would have loved her more...and true

“Aap OK hai, ma’m?”

A constable is asking her, from a patrolling jeep that happened to be passing by. His partner is helping the guy from the van.

“I’m fine”

He comes closer and examines her, then the car. The Mini seems in a good condition.

Just the god damned icing on the cake. What a way to get him out of my mind. What a nice accident! No loss of life, just an interruption in the everyday mundane life.

The traffic is mounting on the road, the hint of an inevitable traffic jam. One more police jeep arrives; she hears a cry of sirens getting closer – an ambulance perhaps.

The evening is nice. A cool breeze accompanies the golden sunlight. She feels thrilled. At the expense of some broken bones of complete strangers! The thought brings a smile to her face. Her long, auburn hair is looking like golden fiber optic. She hadn’t felt so relieved in days. And now, thinking about the past few minutes, she realizes that she could have been all but trapped inside the mangled remains of her car, her body twisted in weird shape, medics trying fruitlessly to get her back to breathing. Alright, what’s the big deal? It wasn’t an NDE. Being crippled, now that’s the worst thing. You’re still standing on two.

The truck is spilling beans, from a small slit door that has gotten opened. The beans are a kind she hasn’t seen before. She hears someone calling them oil seeds. The reason for the accident is a broken down Corolla. It has got a big dent on the behind, where the truck had thumped it. A woman is standing a few feet away from the car, with a baby in her arms. Her husband is on the phone, asking for a replacement vehicle.

“Abe car ki wat lag gayi hai, mai jinda hu yahi badi baat hai. Car bhej de...koi bhi bhej yaar, ye saala meeting crucial hai”

“Send me yours then! Just send me a car, any car. I’m at...”

There is space enough only for a single car to pass by, where the truck has come to rest on the road. Its trailer is bent and overturned on its side, blocking the entire left side of the road.

She is still on the Expressway, two hours after the accident, when the crane arrives. An hour later, the road is back to its ‘express’ state.

As she gets in the driver seat, she gets this jolt of relief, a moment of pure joy, almost orgasmic in its nature! She is smiling.

She feels free, away from all that was binding, all that maligned her heart, she feels like a phoenix, rising up and away from the ashes of afflicting memories...she is no more capsizing...it’s a new day for her, the night is no more dark.

As she enters the sleeping city, she knows the day would be one of the loveliest ever.

Witpick of the day!

noreply@blogger.com (Harshey) — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:56:00 +0000

If the grass is greener on the other side, then the guy with the greener grass doesn't think your grass is greener now does he?