more of me!

If only i could kill them !!

2012-05-07T23:04:00.000+05:30

I hate to talk abt this ,but have no choice.You might have noticed mainly two things being discussed in almost all the forms of mass media- one would be our ever corrupt ,popularity-seeking,gibbering politicians and other would be about different forms of injustice faced by females, caused by the two letter inferior males(who are not just inferior by two letters but also by one brain ,one heart etc..the least to mention).
Okey, all of them are not like that ,thank god ! we ve been blessed with the ability to differentiate ,but hey ! people bitten by a stray dog tend to have a sense of fear towards all the dogs ,through out their lives. ( analogy not intended ..poor dogs !they would do good if vaccinated)
When i hear about female feticide , i only feel happy for those babies 'cos their mission in this hell is so thankfully short lived, imagine them living with people full of evil in them, all through out their lives,its better to get killed ,if you ask me!
what troubles me even more is the rising number of eve teasing , rape and molestation cases .Victims range right from a seven month old baby to a seventy year old women.I wonder whats really wrong with the opposite gender apart from everything that's wrong with them.
Had i been a cop or if ever i had a chance with the gun..i would have killed all those blackguards !
I generally divert myself from thinking abt it, 'cos the fact that i cant do much abt it ,makes me feel powerless and that drives me insane.
But today i just couldn't resist writing abt it after watching Vijay TV's Neeya? Naana?,where the topic of discussion was whether is it the way women dress or is it the men who really are to be blamed for eve teasing. It was shocking to hear most of the men say that they couldn't resist their urge to tease or touch a women ,when she wears western outfits or when she's physically rich.
Not just that,they even justified their act saying that's natural. Ho really ?! you know,i call it " libido incontinence ",and its NOT NATURAL!
women are from Venus and few men are from Hell !
Dear mindless male ,
A girl wearing leggins or say a clinging or may be a revealing outfit is definitely awkward to look at ,but it isn't an open invitation for your much valued comments or your slimy hands,you contemptible idiot !! Do gals gape at you for wearing nothing but boxer shorts or low hip jean with half your inner staring out ? Well NO,they oly put up a wry face .
But you?? Shame on you !
The environment in which u are brought up in , your lack of sense-of-control and as such the basic sense ,makes you shamelessly blaming a women for your mistake.
When you see a gal dressing inappropriately ,think of her as your sister or mother ,by that way ,you ll flinch from watching her and sometimes even end up advising . But if you ve got a big problem of viewing everything as inappropriate ,i think its your thinking that is !
----
gals too need to know
I do blame gals for their dressing sense and mindlessly aping someones style . One thing the gals shd know is to dress ,having their figure in mind .A dress may look good on someone ,but it doesn't mean that you ll look good in it .Moreover, i hate this perception thats prevalent among many that modern attires make one modern. hey gals listen ! its your thinking that needs to be modern ,not the
attire. At this juncture ,i have to admit that once i too was a moron like many ,a sheep following the herd,but i learnt my lesson .
I only wish gals start dressing sensibly .
next time you encounter a shameless scoundrel , dont wait to give a good use to ur sandals or even better ,heels.One doesn't need a gun , a pepper spray or a deo spray aimed at the eye ,is more than enough !

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2012-02-16T19:19:00.000+05:30

As the clock struck 12,on a moon lit night ,i heard a buzz .nope,it wasn't my phone.two mosquitoes were celebrating valentine's day.
They were enjoying their romantic night feeding on my B +ve blood,while I was trying to 'be-positive' about celebrating SOME valentine's day in future.May be like them ,but definitely without them(Narayana! intha kosu tholla thaanga mudiyala!).With some respect towards love and valentine's day ,i let them ALL WIN for one night.
Dream of getting struck by a cupids arrow ,one only gets struck by a mosquitoes proboscis! Sigh!

EXERCISING THE GIFT OF ANGER

2011-11-27T00:05:00.001+05:30

one day u start hating this whole life of urs.every romantic rain drop turns out to be a chill prick of pain and every pleasant sunny morning would seem like a hot irritating beginning.it just gets worse.it will almost look like you dont know the reason behind all the ill feelings.all that you thought as your achievement would seem like the face of an ordinary and all that you wanted to achieve ,would become unseemly.the crush u tried to impress all the time would look like the stupidest joke of ur life.
every word from every mouth would suck and the worldly life would prove to be a waste of time.

Many people cope with situations like these by venting their anger by expectorating words that have been imprinted in their brains as bad.few others express the suppressed fury in the form of physical violence ,which can have classified targets.
there are some who smoke and there are some who drink and there are some who believe that listening to music would help.
by the end of all these relinquishing ,they end up crying and sadness prevails.

yet there is this big hole that would never fill up with any amount of anything.the more you try to shy away from it,the more it pulls,just like a black hole.

to understand this great tree of ill-feelings,u travel down to explore the roots that are so firmly grounded.all u find is resentment ,indignation,envy,rancor and bitterness.
just as u do all this ,u find that there is more than a root cause to it.all this only adds up to the pile of hatred .
the questions that were never asked,fearing the unavailability of answers ,props up and the whole thing makes u dizzy and u either safely end up on ur bed or somewhere in the hospital or in a meta state.

Anger and hatred are like the unavoidable labyrinth of our life..if u accidentally get into it,it becomes really difficult to find a way out and in the dew course ,few ppl desperately try coming out of it by trying to burn down the tall haze and eventually they burn along with it.
and there are few ,who are still trying to get out !!!

NEW AVATAR !

2011-10-04T01:36:00.001+05:30

Quite impressed with my new blogger .very spacious ,blank white space of nothing that worries you.really feels wonderful to write ,empty my heart :)
So..back to emptying my heart.off late i have started having a philosophical view towards everything that's happening.And i feel quite content with it too.
I sometimes ponder about why i pursue this habit of blogging .
come on! i am not grossing anything from this and neither do i care about who reads it .yet i write something here like as if am sharing something with a friend ,somewhere in this world.Its indeed satisfying.one question i am bothered to ask right now is
so where do you find happiness?
nope ,am not being an art of living guru here ! but yet i wanna ask someone ,only to explain them that its in them ...yeah it gets all mokkai and boring after this! i know :O so were Paulo Coelho's books. But when you really try to seek something ,everything becomes interesting.
now where on the world is happiness boss? its in you..in your pacifying answers to your heart .
you are your boss n you decide what makes you happy. if somebody doesn't understand your perception ,then let understanding yourselves be your inception (hows the rhyming? ;P ) towards the path of happiness .
I would die to quote what my friend was saying the other day

you might be surrounded by many people from your lives but it should be understood that everything is transient.
even your shadow doesn't follow you when its dark ! Take a cue from Lord Krishna's life ,he is associated with
many but yet he is alone and that makes him the god !

So,all i wanna say is Be your own GOD and seek happiness in all you think and let your brain be the RAM for worries and ROM for happiness !! ...

The Hindu : Today's Paper / OPINION : I'd rather not be Anna

2011-08-25T19:43:00.000+05:30

The Hindu : Today's Paper / OPINION : I'd rather not be Anna

Dream boy

2010-10-25T00:16:00.007+05:30

was on my way back from college in a bus which seemed rickety for no good reason until i nearly fell down just to my surprise to be grabbed by an arm which seemed like crafted out of sandal wood. An unknown amount of electromagnetic current passed through me defying faradays laws.his palms were so soft that even rose petals would envy.with an irresistible urge my eyes made a contact with those bright beady blackberry floating in the middle of a milky ocean ,whose beauty subdued even that of moons.A feeling that seemed potted for years together started outpouring to eventually cause floods that carried me away before i could see his face properly.
Argh..why cant dreams be complete??But its ok if after all, they were meant to continue in real !

raining dreams!!

2010-07-09T22:04:00.002+05:30

it was a gloomy rainy afternoon and a half n hour wait for the physics period to get over.no one was in a mood to listen to the laws of physics.many were either sleeping cozily or were waiting for the bell to pave a way to the most favourite hour of the day "THE LUNCH HOUR".but unfortunately ,the clock was annoyingly slow .guess,even it was lazy to tick.half n hour seemed like half my life and all i could hear was the music of my grumbling stomach.Akin to a thirsty traveler having hallucinations of spotting an oasis in the middle of the desert,my eyes were deceiving me.a pair of concentric circles in three dimension seemed like 'medhu vadai' and schematic diagram of a fiber optic cable looked like 'finger chips'.my hunger was driving my imagination so crazy that even the lecturers bobtail (hairstyle) seemed like a burnt bun ,though wouldn't feel like eating one.
after minutes which seemed like ages,the siren went.yup,the same way it is in jail!
the class which was as silent as a grave yard,sprang to life.every one were running out of the room like as if it was on fire,but actually i surmise that it was their stomachs.the kilometers that separated our class rooms from the mess halls passed off as centimeters .Alas,my dream of having the soft crispy medhu vadai came true with added surprises in the form of sambar and green chattney .As my hand caressed its texture and closed my eyes to get a pleasurable whiff of the sumptuous thing.Some grumpy voice interrupted me and to my dismay ,my eyes opened to witness a women .who i initially thought had come to serve a decoction coffee but later found out that she was my professor who entrusted me with a detention copy for sleeping during class hours! luckily i didn't ask for anything extra stong!!

The19-20 attitude

2010-06-23T23:01:00.010+05:30

life at 19-20 is all mixed up ,just the way our IPL 20-20s are.More cool than ever before,not caring about keeping up with toppers,seeing life the way i feel it should be seen.sometimes it sounds like am way far away from the serious image people taught i had.stopped taking the so called advice that teachers give in the manner of scoldings.instead started giving silly answers to their questions in my mind and then as always end up laughing out of control.
barefacedly admitting that i have had many a crush and just one love ,happily one sided is now kind of a regime.Giving hypocritical guidance to friends when they have heart breaks though mostly dealing with teenage love has become a part of my day to day activities and this is seen by many outsiders of my college life as a gifted quality to become a HR.
crazy burgers!!
speaking of which,reminds me my new found fondness for vivek and vadivel comedies.most of the interesting or funny conversations i have, will never be devoid of their insipid dialogues which somehow seems inspiring and funny to many.Even if u are a Shakespeare you are supposed to speak the butler english ,if u dont you are tagged PETER.And so was i!before u ponder over what i just said,let me clearly confirm that i am no where related to the former.
I still dont posses the swagger of a college kid ,the moment i start worrying about results and studies or i have a book in my hand ,even if i were just holding it ,peers start giving a stare that makes one feel that she is a UFO, who descended from pluto.
To top all this is my worrying diet,which is so fickle that i always end up eating at the delicious veg row at college ,adding anxiety the calorie way.three continues days of diet row causes the transformation of becoming the attractive girl of future to a college kid with the spirit that's unheeding to grab some guys gaze. Then one fine day results come and again i am the NERD of nerds for just a week.After which the spring loosens up to unleash its laziness and vigor to be called "hey ur Cool!"

superstition unplugged!!

2010-04-19T23:35:00.008+05:30

how caring can a mom get?? well in my case its too much.i better be careful and make it clear that am not complaining ,but just complimenting . praise lord ,praise moms!!
hailing from a highly cultural society ,we Indians believe in everything.there is no need for the scientists to find out anti-matter to prove the fact that there exists both angels and demons in this world,as we Indians knew it long back even before formulating a hypothesis for the same.
"so what? what has it to do with ur mom ?" would be the question u might be asking.well ,what i am trying to complain is the superstitious nature ,which our ancestors have imbibed in her.its a very common case all over India.
it would really sound ludicrous.u sneeze or suffer from sudden dry cough or even have hiccups ,they will all blame it on our pitiable grandparents in the heaven for blessing and thinking about us.but we alone will know that it wasn't our grandpa or granny ,but a stealthy drench when it was rainy.leave alone that,
call it karma? crows are always in the good books of superstition for whatever unintended act they do.even if it shouts like an obnoxious mad one,people get excited that they will have guests ,instead of shooing it away for disturbing their kids (who are studying sincerely!) ;)
but the most worrisome and enviable part would be when they make umpteen number of sumptuous dishes to serve the crows, when humans get served only hastily strewn dishes even on their birthdays.i know that this is very common,and many out there are showering their empathy in this regard.
but not many would have endured what i did.one day i accidentally disclosed to my mom that i had a nightmare obviously while i was sleeping.having discussed with all the chief CBI officers(grannies from my whole neighborhood),ultimately the case was closed by zeroing down upon the main terror suspect- "the evil spirit". from then on getting up every morning has become a nightmare for me,to find out broomsticks and slippers right besides the bed.The very first time i witnessed this,i really thought that i had developed a sleep-walking habit and thus ended up sleeping in the store room.little did i know that it was only the usual bedroom.not just my bedroom,even my forehead was adorned with vermilion and holy-ash makeup.happy that it atleast stopped with that!
so closing message to Gen-next from a sleepless citizen-
shun the superstition and get some life!!

my intentions are different

2009-11-23T22:33:00.014+05:30

i try to go by like i never knew u
am awake but ma worlds half asleep
seems as if u have heard this somewhere right??well may be if u were a back street boys fan ,u surely would have guessed that its from their song INCOMPLETE.
huh...scrupling feelings made me proclaim this to my crazy Christ mom ,when she asked me to write a poem on friendship.lol..poem??me??.just because i blabber some peter shit,it doesn't mean that i can write poems!
ok let me stop deviating as its my mind way of doing things. this excerpt mentioned above some how speaks the truth abt my college life.i keep murmuring this one whenever i see my lecturer (cha..naughty kid! i know what ur thinking).u c i mean it in a different way.
"i try to go by like i never know u"
now i mean that even if i know him/her ,i don't waana wish them and get recognized(which would jeopardize my hard earned title "THE SILENT MISCHIEF MAKER")nah..not even tat famous pleasing smile of mine would be spent!!
all i give them is a blank expression which makes them go nervous at times.

n through this "am awake but ma worlds half asleep" i assert that though i pretend to be wide awake n attentive ,actually speaking my worlds asleep .not just HALF asleep but its TOTALLY asleep.i do this pretending act to make them feel satisfied that at least one soul is listening to them.
duh..dont blame me for my benevolent servicing attitude plz..
bow u! gracias señoras y señores!! :)

MY CLASS

2009-05-07T20:00:00.007+05:30

for those who have been following my crazy blog posts,here's yet another blog relating to my life at college,with a promising note that i wont bore u with some mokkais. heres a post about my very own class!!!
A class of ICE-Instrumentation and Control Engineer's or otherwise abbreviated as Intelligent and Challenging Enthusiasts (lol..;)),we are 67 in number.not more not less.our class is a plethora of different personalities.u can find anybody and everybody in there, video jockey(Aisu) ,film actor(Rakesh),singers(Mariam Sruthi,Revathi),professional bathroom singers(Me,n the whole of the first two benches ) ,international athletes(bino,pavi,prajun,valli appan,muthu anna,kabadi rama,twin brothers..etc..),future politicians(vijay raja,vijay chandra...lol) ,comedians(zoo,rads),professional comperes(dinesh aka. pulimoota,hari aka.butterfly),the gossip tabloid editors(among girls-varshini,vijetha,nithasha,shana,aarthi,kirthika. among boys-karthik,n the last benchers),barathanatyam dancer(abu),the silent yet sound intelligent people(poornima,sharada),perfectionists(me),the all time commentators (vignesh n group),percussionist(narasimhan),trumpet player(abichandra),the so called ICE TERROR (Terrible-Error)-deepika n
THE ICE DONS(ajorin,srinivasan,riaz,inamel,venkatesh,prajun...etc)u can guess them by their appearance!!
n many other VIPs left to talk about(can't type,lazy to just have my fingers sweat).
its been nearly 6 to 7 months and now i get to write about them all, as i've studied them (50 %)by my silent observations.
any time u drop into our class(other than maths n civil periods) there will be no commotion at all..cos we ll b sleeping ,recharging our brain cells!!
the most funniest class u could ever attend would be our maths class(shhhhhh..)
lol...i will get to write a separate post about that later.
we are a bunch of good ppl, we never ever irritate any lecturer.
every body will be amazed the way we are (;))and we always maintain a rapport with the neighboring department ppl by lending them english text books n lab coats!!!
the story about The Angels will be continued ..........

unforgettable part1

2009-04-15T23:15:00.006+05:30

It was a good warm cloudy evening,i sat by a cup of tea.i was not my usual self,it was evident from the fact that i was reluctant to engage my mind in drinking it!!!
so what was that thought which was running like a flood in the veins of my brain??..
well it was nothing but the chain of events that happened to me that day!!
i admit it to u-i suffer from a chronic problem of thinking about what others would've thought about me. i know it doesn't help but i cant help but keep surmising about what others might have thought about me.
bad bloody embarrassing things happen to this visibly extrovert but totally introvert teen!
in spite of sharing her embarrassing moments with all of them she knew..that pain still refused to leave her heart..thus she decided to puke it into her blog..
"It was one fine morning n i ended up getting lil late than usual at 6.25 am (IST) because i had to do some last minute late night study for a engg.chemistry exam.
it took some 15 min to get ready to leave to the college..n i rushed out from my house to the bus stop..PAUSE..before that my mom was really pestering me to have some coffee,lest i would faint for having an empty stomach n overworked brain ;)
the coffee was annoyingly very hot ,so i refused to drink.but i donno y but that day i really couldnt figure out what went wrong wid my mom..that she came up with an idea of packaging that steaming coffee in a tupperwear pet bottle..having stunned by her affection ,i too carried it in my backpack ..RETURNing to the bus stop scene..the bus had already started leaving n i as usual brought it to a halt n was gettin into it and i suddenly heard a pop..perplexed about where the sound was from..to my dismay i found that it was from the tupperwear which my mom had sent.
the eager steam from that lava hot coffee caused all the disaster by helping the tupperwear lid to skyrocket a projectile distance all the way out of my bus.that was not just the bloody thing that happened.this was followed by showering some drops of coffee on my fellow bus mates who happened to never notice it though(thick skinned i guess ;))having already come late to the bus ,i din want to stop the driver n enjoy the privilege of searching for the cap.thus was forced to drink the coffee in front of some 50 odd ppl.my luck(:0) the bus was full n i was forced to sit on the foot-board (center stage!!)n all those around were wondering what i was drinking inspite of having their exams to study for.had a hellova time then.but atleast the exam that day turned out lucky" phew....crazy tales n their surprise gales
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........they r killing me!!!!

The one day that i enjoyed at col.......

2009-01-05T19:46:00.009+05:30

A day at college was simply superb with all periods free n a rainy climate outside.all we had to do was to roam about outside(perhaps just inside the campus!).only hindrance was the water stagnating here n there at the sides,but it was clean enough to feel like drenching ur feet in it.but was watchful about those slimy small snakes!.well yes my college is a house for wild squirrels,large number of sparrows,garden rats,crows(how can i miss them?),many different wild birds etc...n homo sapiens ,of course.
well then i was roaming about with a set of friends ,talking all the way we walked.
it was really fun walking simply around the college with some sneak-peaks here n there,
which are quite rare ;).trespassed into the lady's gym for hostilities n tried out some equipments with the desire to become karnum malleshwari within few minutes ,so that we could lift n throw our skinny block incharges..(lol).then got out of the gym because it started getting sultry inside(bloody ppl! they turned off the AC).then heard that there were some auditions going on in the auditorium n ppl really longed to hear me singing. so lent my voice, but fortunately was asked to stop abruptly because the mech guy who was the selector out there couldn't resist my beautiful bombay jayashree like husky voice(ok...now stop recalling how my voice is!). Then i continued my tour around the college n went back into my class to witness few strange things (well yes the air was filled with flirtings here n there ;) ! ).Then went to see the hostel n its inmates.A girl who resided there, was my guide.
Got introduced to many friends out there n had some hot chat with them!
Then my tour ended as the watch showed 2.45 pm ,had to run to catch a seat in the bus(that's another tedious affair!). hey did i miss the food that i had that day? well its was a saturday n staurdays menu
1.all types of rice-sambar rice,tomato rice,ghee rice,coconut rice,curd rice,
n occasionally malai kofta is served.
2.ice cream (flavor varies each saturday).
what can i say,its the only thing that other college students can envy about!

fear!

2008-08-12T23:06:00.007+05:30

"There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings."
said Dorothy Thompson, the "First Lady of American Journalism".
Fear is an emotional response to threat , danger n disgusting things!
There may be many phobias which are frightening in numbers but no one can claim to have them all.
as far as i am concerned,fear has to be in ones system but not too overwhelmingly.Neither can a person with fear of everything nor can a person with no fear at all be called normal!
I am frightened about many silly things like cockroach, lizard(i have had nasty experiences with it)and few serious things like my exams,my future and many other things like- whether or not will i reach my goal ! but i don't allow all these to barge in my mind when it comes to the present.(who cares about those exams, if its not going to be held tomorrow !)
fear cripples one faster than any other implement of war!!!!
a very common fear among all of us is fear of ghosts,darkness and related things...
i used to get goose bumps when i thought about it.but only until i heard about how Sri RamakrishnaParamahamsa
used to enjoy darkness.he used to consider darkness as goddess Kali and would find it extremely peaceful to meditate in darkness it seems!
Many people think of security instead of opportunity n a humor is that they seem to be more afraid of life than death.
so what i mean to say at the end of all this is -nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
i am not saying that one should never have fear. u can have it but u should never get frightened about it!
heheheha!!!!! have a scary night!

Beautiful Rain

2008-06-14T10:14:00.000+05:30

"hey come out and enjoy!"said me to my sis,totally unperturbed of my mother's yellings at me for getting drenched in the rain.
It was late summer and the rain clouds had already crowded in the sky,showering pearl like water drops on the earth.
Along with the trees i too rejoiced in the rain.
The sweet smell of wet mud rubbed my nose after a long time.none of my cousins joined me at that heavenly moment,fearing that they would catch cold.All alone i enjoyed myself by standing with my eyes closed,it felt like as if i was on top of the heavens.
The music of the rain along with the rhythmic sounds of thunder seemed like rock music to me but suddenly i heard a baritone voice calling me just like the one of Shaggy.
Excited by it i opened my eyes to see my brother ,peeping at me through his anti glare coated glasses.Mistaking him to an UFO with square green eyes, i screamed and ran away before i could realise that i had been dreaming.

Childhood Memories

2008-06-12T13:23:00.000+05:30

Through the childhood history lane my memory starts walking again.i smell the sweet fragrance of morning blossoms again.those were the days of sweet innocence,which i regret losing with sense. ignorant of the dirty cruel minds of humans around me ,i found this world a bliss to live in.childhood days were really great with all kind of pampering from every kind of people, things would be taken care by somebody with me living a carefree life.
All i had to do is to blabber some A- B-C-D for a thunderous applause.No diet,no restriction whatever you want you can get it with just a small melodrama of crying aloud(which you cant do in the name of decency nowadays) . Just a small hug and kiss would do to make all my sisters and brothers give me their toys.so easy life was then.but now i am a grown up devoid of childly pleasures ,my knowledge about this world has jeopardised my innocence .I am made into a witty,self centered girl who no longer believes in her childhood fantasies.
blame it on the world and its damn people!