More Skees Please

Helping All Kids Have Loving Homes

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 16 Dec 2019 13:44:00 +0000

Home for the holidays. The theme is everywhere this time of year – with images of happyfamilies gathered around holiday celebrations, making memories and enjoying the magic of the
season.

Home. Family. So many of us are lucky to have these in our lives. But the sad reality is that there are many children in foster care who have never experienced the joy of a safe, loving and secure home. This holiday season, SAFY of Kentucky is working to raise awareness about the need for foster and adoptive parents in Louisville and throughout our state.

In Louisville, there are 1,232 children in foster care, and of those, around 30 percent have a goal of adoption. Over half of these youth are over the age of 12, and most are part of a sibling group. Though younger children are often adopted relatively quickly, adoption rates drastically decrease for older youth. Nationally, only 5 percent of all children adopted in 2017 were 15-18 years old.

Children enter foster care through no fault of their own, but as unintended victims of the opioid epidemic, parental incarceration, mental illness and more. Many times, children in foster care are able to return to their birth families, and SAFY works to support this transition. When that is not an option, SAFY helps youth find forever families through adoption.

Perhaps you're wondering why raising awareness about fostering and adoption is important to me. Many of you know that Ricky and I have 4 children. I've written very openly before about our journey through secondary infertility and miscarriage. But what you may not know is that after my second miscarriage in 2012, we considered adoption.

As parents of a child with a rare congenital birth defect, I have become painfully aware that babies with special medical needs are often given up at birth. These babies are put into foster care and usually spend years in the system awaiting someone to make them a part of their family. We connected with a few adoption agencies and began the process of researching our options. After inquiring about the adoption process, we also reached out to my husbands employer to make sure that adding another child with complex medical needs would be covered by our insurance.

I spent hours pouring over the photos of these abandoned children - some who were as old as 10 and rapidly approaching aging out of the system. I sobbed for each one that was not chosen and rejoiced for those that found their forever homes. We prayed about it and before we made our decision, I became pregnant. We welcomed baby boy #3 and just a little more than a year later, #4. Needless to say our adoption journey was put on hold indefinitely.

That's not to say that we do not think about it from time to time. My heart continues to ache for all the children who wait for their forever home. I still click the links and read the stories of the kids who seem to have been forgotten and pray all the time for loving families to scoop them up and make them theirs.

Youth in foster care need what all kids deserve – a loving, safe and permanent family who will be there not just for the holidays, but for all life’s milestones. If you have ever considered fostering and/or adoption, I urge you to take that first step. Get involved! I have never heard any families say it wasn't worth it.

This post was written in partnership with Specialized Alternatives for Families and Youth (SAFY). SAFY is a child and family nonprofit preserving families and securing futures through a model of care that includes therapeutic foster care, adoption, family preservation, behavioral health and supports for older youth. To learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, visit www.SAFY.org or call 502-813-8280. You can also follow SAFY on social media at: www.facebook.com/SAFYofAmerica and www.instagram.com/safyofamerica

In the Middle of Motherhood

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 01:00:00 +0000

The other day, driving down the road in my minivan on the way to the carpool line for my kids elementary school, I scoffed at the lyrics to a pop song on the radio. I pulled to a red light, and quickly grabbed my car tweezers (the ones hidden in that little coin compartment that nobody actually uses for coins)(do they?) and attempted to pluck the hair on my chin that my youngest affectionately calls my "little friend" before abruptly changing the station to something more tolerable. I mean, the beat was catchy, I'll give her that, but there is no way I could ever listen to that trash with my children in the car. Wait, does she really get away with saying that on the radio? I better turn it back on just to check. I mean, my kids aren't in the car yet so who cares? I'm an adult. I can listen to whatever I want to. And...yep, she really does get away with saying that on the radio.

I'm exhausted - going straight from my part-time office job to assume my position in the carpool line. Which, I might add, I have timed perfectly so that I am not all the way at the back. Ain't nobody got time for that. I dig through the pile of paperwork on the passenger seat from my kids backpack that I emptied yesterday (with the intent to address during my time sitting in the carpool line) to search for the 100 calorie bag of almonds and banana I keep on hand for healthy snacking. I didn't find that, but I did find an open bag of half-eaten Cool Ranch Doritos leftover from my son's lunchbox yesterday (was it yesterday? hmmm, oh well, it'll do).

I glance in the back and realize I clearly haven't laid eyes back there in quite some time unless it was to give my arguing kids "the look" through the rear view mirror.

With 4 minutes until dismissal I silently curse myself for being so efficient to have a front-row spot. I have got to find an empty TJMaxx bag up in here to fill with all of last week's car-snacks and junk mail that have accumulated. I mean, I cannot have the principal open the van door to see my vehicle in this state. Not one but two empty DQ cups with various forms of congealed dairy, the coloring page Nolan made me save so he could "finish at home", the stinky soccer cleats, the dirty socks, is that a Tootsie Roll smashed in the floor mat? Dear God, please say it is.

Hopping out of my van I feel slightly exposed being that I'm in plain site of everyone in front of and behind me in carpool. I smile a "look at me, I'm utilizing my time wisely, I'm cleaning my van" look - then quickly realize that everyone is buried in their phone. (Duh). I mean let's be honest I would so much rather be pinning fall decor ideas on Pinterest as well but my fear of the school calling CPS when the car door opens wins out.

Voila - a tidy(ish) car. I Purell my hands and throw it in drive just as the shiny new Infiniti in front me pulls forward. I bet her car is clean, I mutter to myself. The boys jump in the car and I attempt to figure out a way to keep them occupied during the next carpool line for middle school. Shoot I forgot snacks. "It's okay mommy, I'll just have the rest of my Doritos from lunch that I saved", my youngest says. Oops.

35 minutes drags on - we've gone through 3 different movies trying to find one that doesn't glitch from all the scratches - and finally, the bell rings and the pre-pubescent children filter out. They're holding sports bags and instrument cases and cell phones. A few even have books. Gasp! I can't help but notice the length of most of the girls shorts? I mean geez, is that even comfortable? Kids these days.

As we drive home I awkwardly attempt to ask about their day. Careful to be interested but not prying, hoping I'll get more than "fine" or "good" in response. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You never know what it's going to be at any given moment with the older ones.

I leave the radio off in case they actually want to chat (and to avoid hearing that song again) but instead drift off into thought. What I need to do when we get home. What I didn't get done. What's on the agenda for tomorrow. Oh shoot we're out of milk. I guess that means we can't have cereal for dinner (again) tonight. Unless I stop at the store. And who wants to stop at the store with 4 kids in tow? Pizza it is.

Ugh, how did I get here? When I envisioned motherhood I thought it would be magical. Snuggling freshly bathed kids in feety pajamas, home-cooked meals each night to ensure they were eating healthy day in and day out. Designated homework time and family game nights afterwards before I tuck them all in bed with a gentle kiss. Instead I often feel like I can barely get my own shit together let alone be the kind of mom, wife and friend I always wanted to be. This season is so so hard.

In an attempt to understand exactly why I feel so rattled nearly every day, I came to a very important realization. I am straddling two majorly different stages of life. I became a mom 12.5 years ago and seeing as my youngest is 5.5, I have 12.5 years until they are all officially adults.

I am literally in the middle of motherhood.

Maybe this explains the swirl of anxiety that churns in my stomach and my mind on the daily. I am wiping boogers with one hand while simultaneously discussing coming-of-age issues with my pre-teen. I am folding tiny underwear in one stack and having to re-wash t-shirts from another stack when I get a whiff of the underarms (that stank is strong, y'all). The constant shift in how I must parent - a toddler and a teen (almost) can be downright maddening. The tug of war on my heartstrings only adds to the complexity of it all. I watch with awe as my oldest becomes more and more mature, navigating some really heavy topics with composure and heart, and yet as proud as I am to watch him grow, I take one look at my youngest in his character pajamas and pray to God to let him stay little. With my younger 2 I can say I'm most definitely over the snot, but not the snuggles. I'm loving the witty banter I can carry-on with my older ones but not the rapid fire talking back and eye rolls.

I struggle. I think it's fair to say that most moms do. I struggle with feeling adequate. I'm overwhelmed. Anxious. Exhausted. I try to remember to give myself grace. To talk to God. To pray. In the heavier moments I have leaned on a therapist, tried medication, allowed myself to rest.

The truth is, every stage of motherhood is challenging. But finding the joy in each part along the way has always been easy. There is no feeling that will match the minute I locked eyes with my first born and became a mom. At the simple mention of that moment I can still feel it so deep in my core that it is sometimes hard to imagine what it will feel like when my kids are grown and I no longer need to mother in the way I do now.

For now, I'll try to soak up the good that comes with being smack dab in the middle of motherhood - and rather than being anxious about it, I will allow the sentiment of what no longer is to coexist with the excitement of what is to come.

Mommy Makeover Part 3: Post Op and Beyond

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 01:05:00 +0000

Be Sure to Read the Journey from the Start!

[Part 1: Making the Decision and Planning Ahead]

[Part 2: Surgery Day and Recovery]

It has been 10 months since my surgery and I'm happy to report that I am fully recovered aside from a bit of abdominal muscle tightness. Now that it's all behind me I get asked all the time if I'd recommend having a tummy tuck or breast lift to someone else. I am not going to sugar coat it...it was one of the toughest things I've EVER done from start to finish. And I've birthed 4 babies...just saying. BUT, with that said, I can say without a sliver of doubt that I am so happy I went through with it. Here are just a few of those reasons:

Body Confidence -- I want to preface this by saying that I am all about loving your body the way it is. I have a child born with physical differences so wanting to change my body while simultaneously telling Aiden (and all my kiddos) that he is perfect the way God made him...you better believe I struggled with feeling like a hypocrite. However I will also always advocate for and support my children doing things that could have a positive impact on their self esteem and confidence should that be something they struggle with. For example, Aiden has an area where the skin grafts on his surgically separated toes have fused back together between his big toe and the one next to it. It prevents him from wearing flip-flops - something most kids don't think twice about being able to do. If he comes to me one day and says he wants to elect to have surgery to address that I would 100% support him.

Having babies destroyed my body. Not just on the outside, but on the inside too. I suffered from repeated umbilical hernias, a severe abdominal muscle separation (that was called "impressive" by more than one surgeon I consulted with!) and the typical loss of elasticity and "perkiness" of breasts that fed 4 babies. Add in there surface things like stretch marks so deep and plenty they looked like an iridescent road map across my midsection and nipples that grew as dark and big as pepperonis and yeah, to say my body was not my most favorite thing would be an understatement.

I mentioned this in Part 1 of this Mommy Makeover journey, but I'll say it again. I really tried to make peace with my body. I did. I prayed about it. I worked out. I changed my diet. I took care of myself. I read all the beautiful quotes and articles from women who embrace their post-baby bodies, who fully accepted the scars left behind after pregnancy as a sacred remembrance of the amazing ability for a woman's body to carry life. And yet, I struggled. Every. Damn. Day. The decision to have surgery was not one made hastily. Nor was it one made out of vanity. I did not choose to do it for anyone else. I couldn't make peace with my body - even though I so desperately wanted to - so instead I learned to make peace with my decision to have this done. For me.

I worried about the results not satisfying that desire to feel confident in my own skin. Going through this whole difficult process brought about an entirely new attitude toward my body that I didn't expect though. That confidence I was looking for? It didn't come as a result of having a tummy tuck or breast lift. I still have dimply thighs, I could stand to lose a few pounds and I hate working out just as much as I did before. The tummy tuck didn't erase every stretch mark from my stomach and even added new scars. And yet I wear a swimsuit and don't think twice about it. I undress in front of my husband without rushing to pull on a robe. I walk around in my room without clothes on - something I NEVER did before, even alone. My confidence comes from being proud of taking such a gigantic leap for myself. Do I still have moments where I think "I'm still not [skinny, toned, pretty] enough?" Sure, I think every woman does. But my confidence wins most of the time. And I call that a huge victory.
The War with Clothing -- This goes hand in hand with body confidence because not only was I unhappy naked, I was unhappy clothed! I could never find pants that fit me well. I would always have to go up a size so that they would fit in the waist where my "mommy flap" was. They would either be too baggy in the butt or too long or too high waisted. And on top, I NEVER wore a single layer. After 2 umbilical hernia repairs I had what could be compared to a bagel for a belly button. If I attempted to wear a single top you could literally see that bagel through the fabric. Instead, even in sweltering heat, I would wear a cami under every shirt. As an alternative I would purposely look for flowy tops in only certain fabrics so as you can imagine that narrowed down the selection and styles of shirts I could wear. It sucked.

And can we talk for a second about how much money I spent on the many varieties of slimming undergarments? I had an entire basket in my closet dedicated to tank tops, high waisted underwear, butt toning leggings and more ridiculousness that promised to suck in and smooth every lump and bump I was trying to hide. Trying to wiggle and worm my way in to (or out of) any of those in front of my husband was definitely something I avoided at all costs. 😉 I'm happy to say I have not touched that basket since surgery.
The Physical Impact and the Argument for Medical Necessity -- While a tummy tuck and breast lift are almost always considered cosmetic and elective procedures, most women who have been pregnant who choose to have a tummy tuck are usually wanting to address a physical problem called diastasis recti. I talk more about that in Part 1 and Part 2, but basically the abdominal wall weakens with the pressure of growing a baby causing the muscles on either side to literally separate. Although it sounds painful it usually isn't, but it does complicate things. Without a strong core, one can have constant back pain and poor posture which can cause a host of other consequences as a result. Because those muscles are spread apart, the tissue surrounding the belly button underneath is prone to becoming herniated (and even more susceptible if you have had an umbilical hernia already).

You might think this all makes a pretty good case for having a small portion of this surgery covered by insurance. Especially since recurrent hernias would mean multiple costly surgeries to repair them anyway. Unfortunately that argument is pretty hard to impress upon the mighty insurance companies. If you are considering having a mommy makeover, it definitely wouldn't hurt to look at your coverage and see if there isn't some way to work it out.

Finally, I'm excited to share some "Before and After" pics as well as a close up of the tummy tuck scar. I've been waiting to do this so I could see how the scars end up healing and I think after 10 months it looks about as good as it will look. I got some amazing scar cream from my plastic surgeon, Dr. Mizuguchi, but I think how a scar will ultimately look has many factors -- genetics, skin elasticity, post-op care and probably the most important is...excellent surgical technique and lots of experience.

If you are considering a Mommy Makeover and would like to chat, feel free to message me on Instagram (@moreskeesplease). I have a lot more information in my highlights there including lots of Q&A from throughout the entire process.

Mommy Makeover Part 2: Surgery Day and Recovery

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 01:52:00 +0000

[Read Part 1: Making the Decision and Planning Ahead - if you haven't already.]

On the day of my surgery, the nerves were in high gear. I had prepared as much as I possibly could so all that was left was to do was to get it over with.

Ricky took the day off work to bring me to the hospital and my mom held down the fort at home making sure the kids got to and from where they needed to be. I arrived on time and everything went smooth. First, Dr. Mizuguchi came into the pre-op room to make his surgical markings - he literally drew all over my chest and abdomen with a permanent marker while standing up. This helps determine where to make incisions so that things are proportionate and in the right area which can be difficult to do while laying down.

They gave me a small dose of medicine to help me begin to relax before wheeling me to the OR. I remember getting situated on the table and them putting the mask on. Then, lights out.

When I woke up I do not recall being in a lot of pain. While in the OR, they put a compression garment on to help reduce swelling, along with an ace bandage type thing wrapped around my chest. They also put the sports bra on that I brought with me the day of surgery and a lovely pair of white compression stockings. I am not quite sure how long I was in recovery before I was sent home as I was in and out of sleep. I think I had to drink a certain amount of fluids before they would discharge us. We had already picked up my prescriptions beforehand so we could go straight home. I remember that they had just started repaving one of the main roads we take to get home which made for a pretty uncomfortable ride back!

Once home, I went straight to my recliner in our bedroom where I dozed in and out of sleep for several hours. I don't remember much from the rest of that afternoon/evening, although I didn't really "sleep" well due to a combination of having to stay on top of pain medications, being in a chair rather than a bed and having to pee more often as the anesthesia wore off.

Post-Surgery Necessities

Day 2 was bad. No sugar coating here. I had to go to the surgeon's office that morning for my first post-op appointment and I think I may have cried the whole way from my recliner to the appointment. My lower back hurt like hell from being hunched over when walking. The pain medicine took the edge off but I was still extremely uncomfortable. I remember thinking "WHAT DID I DO???"

I was terrified to have the nurse remove the steristrips from my incisions. It hurt to move and I wanted to throw up every time I had to stand, so while I wanted to look in the mirror I didn't have enough energy. Instead, I had Ricky take a few pictures so I could see it from every angle. I remember thinking I looked like Frankenstein but I was excited at the same time -- a flat stomach! lifted breasts!

Days 3 - 5 were rough. Ricky was preparing to leave for a work trip, my mom (who had been there since surgery day) was also getting ready to head home and my cousin Angie flew in from Chicago to take over. I don't think she knew what she was in for, bless her heart. I was attempting to ween off the pain medicine as I was going to have to be more awake and aware to help her figure out the kids busy schedules. Everything continued to hurt, and there were lots of tears, but she did a kick-ass job. The true test of a relationship is when you can trust someone enough to strip you naked and get you into the shower for the first time in a week and then afterwards get you back into a compression garment with about a bazillion hook-and-eye closures all while I cried like a baby. I am certain she went straight downstairs and made herself a cocktail as soon as I got settled back in my chair.

By my 2-week post-op appointment I was finally starting to feel human again. I had some of my sutures removed and was standing a bit more upright. Things were healing beautifully. I continued to wear my compression garment around the clock as instructed and also wore a white stomach binder several hours a day to help hold things in and reduce swelling.

A few things about the compression...whenever I took it off to shower I would get extremely nauseous and even lightheaded almost to the point where I felt like I was going to black out. I had one pretty scary episode where I actually did black out. I had just stepped into the shower when my vision started to blur then went totally black despite being totally conscious. That sent me into a full on panic attack and I could hardly breathe. Ricky was thisclose to calling 911. The whole episode lasted probably 2 minutes but it felt like forever. We immediately called my surgeons office and they explained that the combination of removing the garment, standing upright too long and being in the hot shower water with too little ventilation was likely what caused me to feel that way. It was extremely scary. This is why I STRONGLY recommend using a shower bench or seat for at least the first month and to also make sure the water is warm (not hot) and you shower with the curtain or door open a bit to allow extra ventilation.

By the end of the second week, my cousin had to head back to Chicago and Ricky was back to work in the office everyday after his business trip. I was on my own. I had completely stopped the pain medicine so I could begin to drive the kids to school and to their activities. I had to make sure to get a LOT of rest during the day so I didn't get too worn out.

By week 3 I would say I felt about 75%. For several more weeks I needed to allow myself lots of extra time to get simple tasks done around the house and still required numerous breaks/naps in order to function. It took 8-10 weeks for me to really feel 100% back to normal.

I did not have any major complications during surgery or recovery and for that I am so so grateful. That was one thing I worried about the most. We have lots of surgery experience with all that my son Aiden has been through and infection during recovery was always one of the major risks we were aware of. I am confident that selecting an experienced surgeon who is VERY careful in his technique to prevent infection and promote healthy healing is of the UTMOST importance when having any kind of procedure. Not only that, but someone who is responsive afterwards and will answer your questions to ensure you feel confident during the entire recovery process should also be high on your list.

I am currently 9-months post-op and I can confidently say that I am so happy I went through with this. My results have without a doubt exceeded my expectations. I can't wait to share another update with more pictures of how things currently look very soon!

*If you are in the Louisville, KY area (or beyond!) and are interested, the surgeon I chose was Dr. Nana Mizuguchi. You can read more about his practice, Mizuguchi Plastic Surgery, via his website: https://nanamd.com/. Follow him on Instagram @goldscalpel to see more about the services he provides. I highly recommend him and his entire team!

5 Simple Ways to Reduce Time Spent Looking at Your Phone

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Wed, 30 Jan 2019 18:06:00 +0000

Raise your hand if you are guilty of spending entirely too much time on your smartphone...

With technology putting everything at our finger tips - from news to Solitaire, grocery shopping to checking the weather - it makes our smart phone usage almost impossible to avoid. We mindlessly scroll social media and Pinterest making mental lists of things we are going to start doing - eat better, become more organized, save money - and then have the hardest time actually doing anything.

I set my phone down to throw a load of laundry in and from across the room hear the ding of a new text message. I stop what I'm doing, respond to the text (because not responding to texts is a huge pet peeve of mine) and then get sucked in to the black hole of Instagram, Instagram stories and Facebook just to keep the little red notifications off my screen. And then, that laundry? Well it is still sitting there, unwashed, and I begin to feel frazzled about how much I have to do and its a big ugly spin cycle of my very own making.

If you can relate, then like me, you have also probably deleted social media apps from your phone but not before announcing "I'm taking a social media break" across all platforms (insert eyeroll here). I'm eyerolling not only for the annoying, cliche declaration but also because the social media fast rarely lasts longer than a hot minute. It's just SO hard!

I wouldn't take it so far as to call it an addiction, but for many it teeters close to the edge. So how can we address it? I've tried many things to limit my own time on my phone. Here are a few simple ways that have significantly helped keep my screen time in check:

Turn off notifications -- Those small red dots on every app seem to scream "Look at me! Pay attention! Check this out!" It drives me crazy to have them there and even if I don't necessarily pay attention to the content it is flagging, it still takes time to clear them. Turning them off has definitely impacted my phone usage. On iPhones, go to Settings then Notifications and toggle "Allow Notifications" to the off position. If there are certain apps that you simply need to receive notifications from (like email for instance), you can manage the settings by each individual app as well.
Move social media apps into a folder or off your home screen -- It seems kind of silly, but by simply grouping Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest into a folder on the 2nd page of my phone, it makes the accessibility a little less convenient. Kind of goes with the out of sight out of mind theory. If they aren't staring at you from the home screen each time you pick up your phone then perhaps you won't be so inclined to open the apps.
Set screen time limits -- Apple recently introduced it's own monitoring capabilities on iPhones. Under Settings, Screen Time, you can see just how much you are on your phone. It breaks it down into categories and you can also see it by app. Just checking in here daily helps put things into perspective, but if you need to take it a step further you can even set limits for yourself. "Downtime" allows you to set a specific time frame for not using your phone or you can set limits for specific apps. Bonus: this can be done for each iPhone/iPad user connected through Family Sharing which makes setting limits for kids super easy! If you don't have an iPhone, there are many apps that will monitor screen time and allow you to set limits as well.
Be intentional with your time -- Try making a schedule for yourself every day. Build specific tech/phone time into your schedule. For instance, set a goal that you will allow yourself a leisurely social media scroll while drinking your morning coffee but then not again until later in the day. If the evening hours are tougher for you then commit to doing something like a workout, a bath or reading a new book for at least an hour.
Leave your phone at home -- When all else fails, just leave your phone where you can't use it. I can't tell you how many times I have left home to run errands only to realize I accidentally forgot my phone. After that initial panic wears off ("how will I know the best way to Target without Waze?", "what if someone important calls me?", "I'll have to actually use my debit card instead of my Apple Pay?!?!") I remember there once was a time these tiny computers didn't exist and we made it just fine. I bet you will even enjoy being without it after a while.

Technology is a way of life these days. I use my phone for more than just browsing social media -- important things like being accessible if the kids are sick at school, answering emails and paying bills on the go. I do not think it is realistic to think adults (and even kids at this point) should not be using smartphones, but when overusing them becomes an unhealthy habit, we need to make sure we are capable of addressing that habit just as we would anything else.

Anyone brave enough to check your iPhone for you current usage time and share in the comments? No judgement here I promise!

When It Comes to Friends, Here is What My Son with Physical Differences Needs

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Tue, 29 Jan 2019 22:25:00 +0000

When kids are little, and learning to navigate the big world full of all kinds of people, they depend on us to guide them. To show them that things like our skin color, our size, our disabilities, are not things we use to determine if we can play with a person at the park or speak to at the store. We do this by exposing them to all kinds of people and modeling behavior that does not put a barrier between us and those who are different.

As kids get older and begin to develop their own likes, dislikes, and personalities - when they can exercise an ability to choose with whom they connect and want to be around - we hope that we have done our job so that they are naturally drawn to people based on their character and not their physicality. That their friend group is diverse and interesting. But sometimes, at no fault of their own, they simply aren’t ever exposed to individuals who are much different from them. The desire to reach out beyond the small group of friends they have from soccer or their neighborhood crew slows down. And while it may not be intentional, they begin to let go of friends who aren’t into the same things or part of the same crowd...or those who are different.

What does this mean for a child with special needs? Unfortunately it means that friendships for our kids often fizzle out in upper elementary and early middle school. Kids who once cast a much wider net while building friendships, one that may have included the kid with autism or a hearing aid or a birth defect, now feel pressure to “fit in” rather than stand out. So befriending those that do (stand out) does not come easy.

I get it. I remember being there. I also remember my parents always telling me to be kind to everyone no matter what. I sat with the kid on the school bus who was being made fun of for his speech impediment and told those kids to buzz off. I helped the quiet girl who dropped her books in the rain. I didn’t always do the right thing, but those times I didn’t stick with me to this day. There was a girl in middle school who used a walker. I am not sure exactly why but from what I could tell it seemed she had limited use of her lower limbs. One day in chorus she had a small accident. She sat behind me and I vividly remember her motioning for the teacher so she could tell her what happened. She started to cry and soon others began to notice the wet spot on her pants and chair. Kids laughed and shouted and pointed and although I didn’t, I also didn’t help or try to get the others to stop. Sure, I knew to be kind and how NOT to be unkind, but what that girl really needed was a friend.

Now, with children of my own I worry once again about the upcoming middle school years, particularly for Aiden, my 5th grader who has a rare craniofacial condition. If you don’t know about Apert syndrome (and you likely won’t if you don’t know us personally), it includes marked physical differences in his face, hands and feet. He’s had more than a dozen medically necessary surgeries to improve breathing, address vision and hearing issues and more major ones that have changed his appearance in a drastic way.

Friendships don’t always come easy for Aiden. When he was younger, kids were usually scared of his appearance initially and it wasn’t until someone forced the interaction that he would be included. My husband and I have always had friends who encourage their kids to get to know Aiden and treat him like any other kid and we are forever grateful for those relationships. Those have taken the sting out many times over the years.

Once Aiden got older and began attending school, he needed to navigate it on his own. In the early years it only took a visit from mom to the classroom and an opportunity to ask questions for kids to no longer think of Aiden as different. Later on, though, there was a distinct shift in the friendship department. The kids who were kind at school were establishing friendships beyond the classroom and for the most part, they didn’t include Aiden. There were the occasional party invites and play dates initiated by a kind mom wanting to encourage her child to be inclusive. But those often became painfully awkward like one instance where the kid complained “I didn’t want to be here but my mom made me” when Aiden had him over to hang out.

Are kids kind to Aiden? Most of the time, yes! And I’m very appreciative for the time spent by caring parents reminding their kids to be kind to the kids who are “different.” Do I want more than surface friendships for my son? Absolutely.

Kids with differences do not need to be included for the sake of being included. If you think you are doing the “right thing” by inviting my child to a party when your child does not actually want him there, you’re not. Your intentions, while good, can make things worse. He can tell when he’s not wanted somewhere or when his invite was an afterthought. He knows.

What he needs is genuine friendships with kids who truly see beyond his differences. He needs parents who encourage their kids to do just that. He needs just a friend or two - not even a whole group - who want him to hang out after school playing video games or go to the movies on the weekend. He needs kids who accept him as he is - as we all are - fearfully and wonderfully made. He needs kids who enjoy being with him for his silly personality and ability to name (and do) every Fortnite dance.

My child with physical differences does not need pity. He does not need friends who are forced to invite him to social functions by well-meaning parents. I cannot always tell a genuine friendship at first and thus doing so is even more difficult for him. But I promise I would rather him have no friends at all than fake ones. The thought of either breaks my heart in two, but it is a reality I think about more and more. Each night I pray my sweet boy will be lucky enough to make a few genuine and lasting friendships. He deserves that connection. After all, isn’t that what we all want for our children?

So yes, I encourage parents to continue the conversations on kindness. Keep discussing differences and acceptance and inclusion. But also take it a step further. Remind them that kids with differences want the same things they do. Ask them to truly make an effort to get to know others who may be a bit different. They might find those kids have more to offer than they realize. As my favorite book Wonder says, “it’s not enough to be friendly, you have to be a friend.”

Disney's Disability Access Services Pass: A Review

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 21:27:00 +0000

This past winter break, we visited my parents at their condo in Sand Key, FL near Clearwater Beach. We surprised the boys with a package of goodies a few days before we were planning to leave to break the news. Inside were fleece Mickey Mouse pajamas, Special Edition Mickey Oreos and Goldfish crackers (that I just happened to stumble upon on a Clearance rack at Target...score!), our Disney Magic Bands and customized water bottles sent to us from our Disney travel guru Susan Patel of Off to Neverland Travel.

We had been to Disney World when Ethan and Aiden were little - 3 and 4 I believe - and this would be Hudson and Nolan's first time, so it was sure to be an exciting trip for everyone. Our plan was to stay in Sand Key for several days, then drive to Disney World for a day trip and back to their condo 2 hours away for a couple days before making the drive back to Kentucky. With only 1 day in the park and having a few park hopper passes we knew we needed help to make the most of our time at Disney which is why we were so thankful for Susan's help! She took care of everything from attaching our ticket information to our Magic Bands to scheduling our Fast Passes in advance. It was great!

A few months in advance, I contacted Disney to learn more about their Disability Access Services Pass. Aiden has pretty severe ADHD and that coupled with the unique structure of his surgically separated toes makes waiting in lines almost unbearable for him (and for anyone having to wait with him). I was not sure if having Apert syndrome and ADHD would qualify him for the DAS pass, but after reading the guidelines provided on Disney's site, I felt comfortable seeking this assistance to make our trip more enjoyable. Besides, Aiden is stared at enough as it is, so the thought of subjecting him to long lines of people constantly gawking for anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours helped justify the need as well.

On the Monorail heading in to Magic Kingdom!

When we arrived at the park, we were instructed to head to a Guest Relations window to discuss getting the DAS pass. We already had Fast Pass selections - you can schedule your first 3 Fast Pass times up to 30 days in advance of your day at the park and this was done for us by Susan Patel as well. We weren't sure if we could utilize both the DAS pass and the Fast Pass system and if that provided any additional benefit. Oh boy it did!

After a quick conversation and introducing Aiden to the Guest Relations Personnel, they added the DAS designation to each of our Magic Bands. This allowed us to access and make changes to our DAS and Fast Pass selections on the app on my phone, which automatically loaded to our Magic Bands for scanning at each ride.

She explained that just like a Fast Pass, you would have to visit the attraction you wanted to ride and receive a return time. However, the DAS could be used in conjunction with a Fast Pass meaning we could get both a DAS return time AND a Fast Pass return time for the same OR different rides concurrently. For example, we were able to schedule a Fast Pass return time of 8:30 for one ride, and a DAS return time of 9:00 for the same ride if we knew we would want to ride something more than once. One extra feature of the DAS pass is that you are able to return and ride once at the time assigned or anytime thereafter for the rest of the day, whereas with a Fast Pass you must ride between the designated return time frame given (8-9am, for instance) or entrance is forfeited. Like the Fast Pass, you are still only allowed to schedule the next one once the current admittance is used, but if you plan well, you can look at wait times and park location of attractions ahead of time and decide pretty quickly which one you'd like to try to snag next. Finally, the person with the DAS pass needs to be the one securing the DAS return time and must ride the ride.

We made it!

When we entered the park, we made our way to our first two Fast Pass destinations, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin and Space Mountain. These are two of Magic Kingdom's main attractions so our travel agent knew to secure these first as part of the 3 we got to schedule ahead of time. The boys LOVED both and after riding Space Mountain, they wanted to ride again. So...we visited the cast member near the ride entrance and scheduled a DAS return time which was in just 20 minutes! What a time saver considering the line was already over 60 minutes long! We squeezed in a ride with a short wait time - Astro Orbiter in Tomorrowland - then got right back on Space Mountain for a second time. It was great!

Astro Orbiter

Afterwards, we still had plenty of time to make it across the park to our final Fast Pass ride, Splash Mountain. We stopped and grabbed popcorn to snack on as we took in one of the character shows taking place in front of the castle. Everything was going great until...

I told the boys we needed to head to Space Mountain to make our time slot and didn't see a low curb surrounding the area in front of the castle due to the amount of people stopped taking in the show. My ankle rolled, I heard a 'POP' and down I went. Ugh. We had only been in the park for a little over an hour at that point. The boys were so worried about me and I knew they were afraid this would put a huge damper on our only day at Disney. A cast member quickly came to my side and asked if I was okay and if I wanted him to call an ambulance. I already had hundreds of people staring at me since I was facing the direction of everyone watching the show so I said "no thank you!" to the ambulance. An EMS guy asked me some questions and even though I knew it was injured pretty bad - either a bad sprain or possibly broken - I was NOT going to ruin our Disney adventure. They wrapped my ankle with ice and an ace bandage, got me some Ibuprofen a wheel chair and off we went! We could still make it to the Fast Pass time for Splash Mountain! I of course wasn't going to ride, but no sense in the boys not making it on!

Back to the spot where I broke my ankle :( Stupid curb!

Unfortunately, the wheel chair was not the kind that I could elevate my foot and after an hour or so I decided it was probably best to head to the First Aid building to raise it up for a bit to prevent further swelling. I got a fresh ice pack there as well and as I was changing it out, one of the workers took a look and said I probably should get an x-ray. They arranged transportation to a local walk-in emergency clinic. Nolan and my mom came with me while the other 3 boys and Ricky stayed behind to continue having fun. In fact, while we waited at the doctors office, he called to tell me that the DAS pass got them on the Avatar ride - one that typically has a 4-6 hour wait - in 15 minutes! I call that a HUGE win.

Six hours later...an x-ray confirmed...broken fibula at the ankle. :( It was getting late but we were able to make it back to Magic Kingdom a few minutes before the firework display started. Ricky and the boys met back up with us and although the rides were still open for a few more hours, we decided we should probably get on the road back to Sand Key. My foot was throbbing and I was so over being pushed around in a wheel chair in the crowds of people (which was no easy task for whoever had to do the pushing either).

This was before the swelling was even at its worst!

While our day at Disney didn't go quite as expected, the cast members were very eager to help and have made sure that we can come back to have a do-over at some point ;) When we come back to Disney, we will definitely be getting the DAS pass again. I truly feel that children with Apert syndrome deserve this extra convenience to make their time at Disney less stressful and extra special. I am grateful that Disney recognizes the need for a service like this and provides accommodations for individuals with varying needs.

Even leaving earlier than expected, everyone was worn out!

If you or a family member would like to learn more about the services available for individuals with disabilities or special needs, visit the Disney Parks Disability Access Service Card Fact Sheet.

If you would like to reach out to Susan Patel for help planning your Disney experience, you can email her at susan.patel@offtoneverland.com. Susan is a friend of mine - our kids go to the same school - so if you do, tell her Taryn @ More Skees Please sent you!

Mommy Makeover Part 1: Making the Decision and Planning Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 12 Nov 2018 01:11:00 +0000

PART 1: Making the Decision and Planning

I am sharing one of my Instagram posts below from before my surgery as I think I covered most of the main "answers" to the "why are you doing this" question. I also have A LOT more photos documenting the whole process on my Instagram story called "MomMakeover", so I definitely encourage you to hop on over there and check it out. In the meantime, I will elaborate on the journey from start to finish here on the blog as well. Feel free to comment, ask questions or email me privately. Go to my Contact page for all the ways to reach me.

This body has carried 4 babies. This body has been a competitive gymnast, diver, swimmer, and a professional carrier of things (kids, groceries, shopping bags, laundry baskets...). It has been thin. It has been big. Healthy and strong. Ill and weak. This body is mine and I am proud of it.

With that said, this body is one I would like to improve. After 4 babies, not only did my thyroid crap out (hello Hashimotos and hypothyroidism!) but my skin and muscles suffered damage as well. I was blessed with deep stretch marks that pulled so tight they remain thin purple streaks across my entire stomach. My abdominal muscles were quite literally ripped apart with each pregnancy (diastasis recti). My belly button diminished into itself leaving behind a hole where I had 2 hernias that needed repaired. Child bearing is no joke! While I wouldn’t take any of it back for a minute - and I know just how lucky I am to have been able to experience the incredible miracle that is pregnancy and childbirth - it doesn’t change the fact that my confidence has suffered.

I’m at a point in my life where I have the time and energy to prioritize my health. My body. I’ve decided to revisit cosmetic surgery. A “mommy makeover” if you will. And before you start thinking that this choice is selfish, unnecessary or just plain stupid, I ask that you keep that to yourself. Believe me, I’ve already had and considered the very same negative thoughts.

I haven’t come to this decision lightly. In fact I had this exact surgery scheduled 4 years ago but chickened out and cancelled. I tried hard to make peace with my body as is. I did. But this is where I am. I’m okay with it. My husband is okay with it. And honestly, that is all that matters.

After a few consults with 2 of the best plastic surgeons in our area, I am excited to have come to a decision. I will be booking surgery next week to take place in the fall. I will be sharing each part of this journey. Whether you are considering a mommy makeover, have had it done, or just simply want to see the transformation, I hope you will follow along!
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Deciding to share this journey publicly was also one I did not come to lightly. Before I posted anything on social media about it, I thought long and hard about who I wanted to reach and why. I immediately thought of the numerous Google searches I did in preparation to make the decision to have this surgery. I probably watched hundreds of YouTube videos of others who had had it done. I was soaking up the information from every place I could - both online and by talking with those who were not ashamed to say they too had a "mommy makeover".

All of those were so valuable in helping me make my decision and knowing where to go once I started to move forward with it. I knew that by sharing, I would eventually be able to help someone else who like me, struggled with whether or not this was the right choice for them.

With that said, my older two boys are on Instagram (read about our Family Technology Guidelines here). Some of their 10 and 11 year old friends follow me on that platform so I am always very aware of what I share.

I remember snapping the photos below in the mirror with the intention of sharing them as my "before" pictures on Instagram. Of course it was something I was nervous about - simply because who likes to showcase their imperfections online in that way. But I then started thinking less about myself and more about the people who would see it. My husband works at a large local professional business. My kids would see it and may die of embarrassment. What would they think? I thought it was important to get their input.

I texted the photo to my husband at work. "Would you be embarrassed if I shared these photos on Instagram?" His immediate response, to my surprise, "not at all. you are beautiful babe and have nothing to be ashamed of". Okay, so I moved on to my oldest son. I went into his bedroom and showed him the pictures. "If I shared these on Instagram, would you be okay with it?" Again, a surprising response, "No. I mean it's your page. Do what you want." I felt like I had to at least tell him why I was asking, reminding him that some of his friends follow me and would see it. "Who cares," he shrugged. I was both shocked and proud. Next, I talked it over with Aiden. He just giggled and said "why do you want to post that?" I explained that I wanted to share my mommy makeover journey and part of that would be showing what my stomach looked like before vs. after. He giggled again and had just one small request. "Can you not show your top part, like, in your sports bra?"

So I cropped my chest out of it and said "is this okay?" He said yes and that was that. I honestly thought one of them would urge me not to...so getting all of their blessings made it a little bit easier to push post. I mean why should I be embarrassed? It's my body and for all the reasons I listed above I should embrace it as part of this process.

At that point I had already come to my decision to have the surgery. In fact, I had already consulted with 2 local surgeons as part of my research. Here is how that all went:

-- Scheduled initial consult appointments - had to wait a couple weeks to get in as both are busy plastic surgery practices.

-- Day of appointment - I was SOO nervous. It's pretty vulnerable to be wearing nothing under a gown knowing that when the doctor comes in, you will have to open it up and bare all. They have to feel, push on, move things around and get a look from multiple angles. Talk about uncomfortable. But then you have to remember that they do this multiple times a day every day of the week so it's not like it's nothing they've never seen before. I had done some research and had a few questions for each doctor (see "DO YOUR RESEARCH" below for my suggestions).

-- After consults - I met with 2 surgeons and while they were very different in terms of bedside manner and personality, both were great. I knew from their reputations that both were also very good at what they do. I laid out the pros and cons for each doctor and weighed that list in my decision making process.

-- Scheduling surgery - Once I came to my decision on which doctor I would go with, I contacted the office and let them know. I was able to schedule my surgery for about 6 weeks later. Writing the date down on my calendar (and putting it in my phone) was surreal. I mentioned above that I had already scheduled this very procedure once before 4 years earlier, but then cancelled it when my nerves got the best of me. This time I felt much different. I was in a better place for sure. My kids were all a bit older and I was pretty much past the carrying a baby around on my hip stage.

-- As surgery day approached - I was excited for sure. It was hard for me to picture my body any different than it had been for almost 11 years, but I was no longer second guessing my decision like the first time around. With that said, I was EXTREMELY nervous and often had to put it out of my head as thinking about it would almost make me want to throw up. People would ask about it and I'd literally say "I can't talk about it" and move on to another subject. Even so, I knew the fear was natural.

-- Surgery day - The big day was finally here! I had childcare lined up and coordinated all the logistics of managing a busy household of 4 kids. I bought a HUGE weekly calendar and basically wrote down their schedules hour by hour - what time to wake them up for school, what they eat for breakfast, what time the bus comes for pick up and drop off, what activity they had after-school and thus what time each needed to eat dinner - the whole 9 yards. Not because I doubted whomever would be doing it in my absence, but rather because it made me feel like I was doing my part as a mom. After all, I was told that I would be down with little to no activity for at least 2 weeks. Ricky was taking the first few days off work to be home with me and manage the kids, then he was leaving for a scheduled work trip the following week so my cousin was flying down from Chicago to juggle it all. The morning of surgery my mom was there so Ricky could be with me at the hospital. I kissed my babies and sent them out the door for school, then headed on my way!

I will share more from surgery day and beyond in my next couple posts! Until then...here are some of my tips and recommendations for up to this point in the process:

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH - There are many ways to do this. Scour the internet (but carefully consider sources). Read all you can on the subject to learn best practices. There are scholarly journals (that may be too much medical jargon), YouTube videos, hashtags on Instagram that can point you in the right direction. Talk to others who you know have had the same procedure. You'll also want to read reviews from others who have experience with the particular doctors you are considering.

2. MAKE A LIST OF QUESTIONS - Start compiling a list of questions you have so that when you meet with the various surgeons (and I recommend meeting with AT LEAST 2, but probably 3 or 4 would be best) you will not forget any of the important ones. I wanted a tummy tuck and a breast lift without implants. Here were some of mine:

How many years have you been doing this?
What are your complication rates?
Can you explain exactly what is done during the procedure?
Do you use drains?
Do you operate in a surgery center or at a hospital?
What can I expect for recovery?
How long before I can work out?
Will my bra size change with just a lift?
When can I drive?
How much does it cost?
Do you offer financing?
Do you offer any discounts for paying upfront?

3. PLAN YOUR SCHEDULE WELL IN ADVANCE - Managing a household or working outside the home take a TON of effort. When one parent is down (or the only parent in a single-parent household), straying from the schedule and relying on others can be daunting. Making sure you have the appropriate amount of time off work and enough help to handle the logistics of your family will prove to be SUPER important. Having a written calendar to lay out schedules is helpful. Communication is key. When deciding on your surgery date, look at your kiddos school calendar to determine any big projects that might be due or special activities that you may not want to miss.

4. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DIET AND EXERCISE ROUTINE PRIOR TO SURGERY - Most surgeons will recommend that you be at your "ideal weight" by surgery day. For many, that is just tough to do. The main reason behind this however is so that you don't come in overweight, expect to have surgery for weight-loss reasons, then be unhappy with your results if you a) don't come out looking thin and trim or b) lose a bunch of weight after surgery which would affect your results. It is a good idea to start and/or continue making healthy diet choices so you at the very least don't gain weight prior to surgery. Having healthy habits will make your recovery easier as well as give you results you are happier with.

5. PURCHASE RECOVERY ITEMS AND SET UP A RECOVERY SPOT - (See my Instagram story "MomMakeover" for photos that show my recovery spot and supplies.) I purchased a soft fabric recliner on a local buy/sell page for $100 months before my surgery. I knew from my research that I would likely not be able to sleep in bed for several weeks post-op. I also bought a small table that was easily accessible next to the recliner that included a USB plug-in attached to the top so I would have to fish for cords that fell next to me. You will want to pre-fill your prescriptions and have those close to your recovery spot too (you'll get the rX's at your final pre-op appointment). Below are links to products similar to those I bought ahead of time. (Please note, these are affiliate links through Amazon. Any purchases made through these links allows me to earn a very small commission.)

small bedside table with USB port (I got mine at Target for about $50)
zip-front sports bras (this is the one I had and I loved it. soft, easy to zip. I recommend ordering a size up for most comfort)
gauze pads (this kind was good for any open wound areas so it didn't stick to garments/fabric)
gauze squares (these were what I used to clean my incisions with hydrogen peroxide)
hydrogen peroxide (any brand will do)
dry shampoo (no shower for 5 days!)
shower seat (I wasn't able to stand upright to shower for several weeks)
heating pad (once you are up and moving, your back will hurt so bad from hunching over!)

6. FIGURE OUT YOUR PAYMENT OPTIONS - This procedure is not cheap. It is an investment you are making in yourself however, and I feel it is worth every penny. Discuss the cost upfront with your chosen surgeon. They should have an assistant who can walk you through your payment options. Most do not accept insurance (as these are typically elective procedures), but there are a few financing companies that plastic surgeons offices usually recommend. We financed my surgery through CareCredit which offers specific terms of repayment for a pre-determined period of time (usually 24-48 months).

7. DON'T HESITATE TO CONTACT YOUR SURGEONS OFFICE ANYTIME - If you've chosen a good surgeon with a good team, it will not be a problem at all to reach out with questions anytime prior to (or after) your surgery. I thought I had everything covered during the consults, but then thought of a hundred more questions afterwards. I was able to email with a nurse as often as I needed to discuss things as they came to mind. Good communication is very important, so make sure you pay close attention to this during the initial selection process.

*If you are in the Louisville, KY area (or beyond!) and are interested, the surgeon I chose was Dr. Nana Mizuguchi. You can read more about his practice, Mizuguchi Plastic Surgery, via his website: https://nanamd.com/. I highly recommend him and his entire team!

The Challenges of ADHD: What I Want Others to Know

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 11:59:00 +0000

One might think that in the land of medical diagnoses, Apert syndrome may be more challenging than ADHD. One would be wrong. (In some ways, anyway.)

Sometimes we go days without giving Apert syndrome another thought. When surgeries aren’t looming and social interactions are positive, I may even go as far as to say we “forget” Aiden even has a rare craniofacial condition. But ADHD? It’s a giant struggle each and every day.

I don’t often talk about the challenges we face with it because it seems so commonplace. Everyone either has a child with ADHD or knows someone who does. However when I think back to before we got the “formal” diagnosis and how I was at my wits end thinking “what am I doing wrong???” I decided that sharing some of the characteristics might help someone else who may be where I was 4 years ago.

Just the other day, while sitting in the waiting room of my child's psychologist, I thumbed through the book "Smart But Scattered"[1] that I pulled from the resource library. After reading the first few pages it was as if they had written about Aiden himself! The authors describe a familiar scene - telling your child to clean their room - and how that plays out for someone with ADHD. Not only is the room a disaster to begin with (because it's ALWAYS a mess), but the amount of time spent in there is minimal before they become completely overwhelmed and beg to do it later.

Okay so you may be thinking “what kid enjoys cleaning their room and does it without a fight?” True, it’s not an uncommon family struggle. But the key difference is that it is not limited to just the task of cleaning his room. It could be something as simple as telling him to brush his teeth or hang up his coat that would elicit a full-fledged foot stomping, throw-himself-to-the-ground meltdown. The more complex the task, the bigger the response.

Dealing with behavior like this is exhausting - for both parties! I would try to reason, reward or redirect each time to no avail. And I would always end up thinking “how can I be raising such a brat?” or “what am I doing wrong???” My other kids were able to regulate their emotions and follow simple commands with far less push-back so it did not make sense. I would seek feedback at school in the early years, sure that his teachers would recognize the same behavior problems we dealt with at home but they would always say he is a good kid who listens well. Good news for most, but so frustrating for me as it was proof that he COULD behave for others and yet was CHOOSING to misbehave for me.

Something had to give.

When Aiden was in 2nd grade, his teacher and I discussed the possibility that we could be looking at ADHD. I was never one for jumping into medication as a solution and still wasn’t educated enough about ADHD to know if that’s what we were dealing with definitively. At one point, however, his teacher suggested it may be a good idea to have him formally evaluated. I scheduled an appointment with a child psychologist who specialized in ADHD.

The testing consisted of a few questionnaires - one to be completed by his teacher and one by a parent - as well as a full day of evaluation in the psychologists office. There were online assessments, IQ tests, and observations of emotional and social reasoning skills. A couple weeks later the results were calculated and a follow-up appointment was set to discuss. I remember walking in and asking “well, does he have ADHD?” I’ll never forget her response. The psychologist said “Not only does he have it, the severity is pretty significant”. I burst into tears and she put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. “It’s okay,” she said, “we will

figure it all out.” However I wasn’t crying out of fear or disappointment. I was crying in relief. All this time I wondered why he couldn’t just behave! And now I knew it wasn’t his fault or mine. The diagnosis meant there would be a course of treatment to improve things. Amen!

Right after the relief, I immediately wondered "where do we go from here?" Still hesitant to medicate, I began researching ADHD a little more. By the time 3rd grade rolled around, we had updated his IEP to include the diagnosis, implemented fidgets in the classroom, and put a clear plan in place as to how the teacher would help redirect Aiden when he would get off task. It worked for a while, but it became clear that those measures simply wouldn't be enough. His grades were being negatively impacted due to attention and focus issues and he was becoming a distraction to his peers. We collectively agreed that perhaps medication was the next step.

I started to research again and came across information about a genetic test that would help determine which ADHD medication would be best suited to Aiden's particular genetic makeup. Unfortunately, most of those tests were not covered by insurance and the out of pocket cost was more than $1000! One of the labs I spoke with directly told me to look into an over the counter version that was offered at some local drug stores. I called around and found that Rite Aid had the test! It was a simple swab, done right there in the store, that was then sent off for the genetic results. So I hurried to Rite Aid and had it done immediately for just $75. (Which was a good thing because I heard shortly after it was discontinued there and wouldn't be offered anywhere).

A few weeks later the results were received! It clearly labeled each type of ADHD medication and color coded them according to which ones were recommended for Aiden. This gave us a perfect starting point on which medication to start with. I say starting point because as I would learn very quickly, even with this extra information, ADHD medication is highly individually sensitive. What works for one child will definitely not work for every child. And furthermore, what works for one child may not work for that SAME child several months later. Getting the type and dosage right would prove to be quite an ongoing challenge.

Aiden is currently on Vyvanse daily and a small dose of Adderal Monday through Friday at school. We recently added a new "medical food" supplement called Vayarin as well. We have to monitor the potential side effects - trouble sleeping, weight-loss (he cannot afford to lose any at all as he is currently on the very low end of the growth chart), moodiness, etc. and with frequent communication with his teachers, we are doing our best to manage ADHD in a way that will help him succeed both at school and at home.

I share all of this so that others are aware of and able to recognize some of the characteristics of ADHD in their own children or in others and to help people understand that:

1) ADHD is a neurological deficit - it isn't "made up", it isn't meant to excuse poor behavior and while some may say it is "overdiagnosed" that doesn't mean it isn't a very real condition for many.

2) Medication isn't a cure-all for ADHD, but it certainly can help. Don't be afraid to try it! I was hesitant for YEARS...and then once I saw how having the proper medication helped Aiden reach his potential in the classroom I felt guilty that I waited so long.

3) Treating ADHD requires a LOT of patience and isn't an exact science. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. It will take a combination of doctor visits, therapy, interventions at school, medication and diet changes and the amount of each needed will constantly change.

I continue to research ADHD so that I can learn how to best help my child. One day he will spread his wings to fly and building the foundation now to give him the skills he needs down the road is the least I can do. Most importantly, Aiden will always be more than his diagnoses. Apert syndrome has never defined him, and ADHD will not either. No matter how frustrated I get every time I tell him to clean his room...

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[1] Peg Dawson, EdD, Richard Guare, PhD. “Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary "Executive Skills" Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential.” New York, NY: The Guildord Press, 2009.

Click here to purchase "Smart but Scattered" on Amazon using my affiliate link. By doing so I will get a small commission which helps me to keep this blog up and running. Thank you!

Mark's Feed Store Famous Bar-B-Q: A Review

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 19:09:00 +0000

I'll admit, living in Texas for 3 years set the BBQ bar high. We knew how good we had it there and struggled to find anything that measured up once we moved back to the Bluegrass state in 2013.

I had visited Mark's Feed Store several times while living in the Highlands during my college years at Bellarmine. It was good, but admittedly I hadn't been back but maybe once since then. Last week, however, we took the whole family out for lunch. This is a challenge for us for several reasons: it's expensive to eat out for a family of 6, we have several food allergies to consider, and in general our kids are picky eaters. But when Mark's Feed Store invited our family to come for lunch, we were excited to give it a whirl.

Their motto is "Friendly Folks Servin' Famous Bar-B-Q" and I can confirm that the folks were indeed friendly and the Bar-B-Q was definitely delicious (famous, too, if you take into account the 11 "Best of Louisville" awards bestowed upon them by Louisville Magazine readers. We visited the Middletown Location on a Sunday afternoon and it was buzzing with patrons. I always get a little anxious dining out with our crew because the kids can be loud, they get up from their seats a lot, and they require oodles of tic-tac-toe games to keep them occupied. So I was happy to see they had a large table in the front part of the restaurant that sat a little separate from the main dining room. Also a relief was the paper kids menus with activities and the most darling crayon holders you ever did see. And Tuesday's Kids Eat FREE so even though the restaurant is always family-friendly, you would definitely be in good company on any given Tuesday :)

Having just started a Paleo diet in attempt to lose some weight and get back on the Gluten-Free train due to my thyroid condition, I did a little menu research ahead of time. I was pleased to find the menu had clearly marked Gluten-Free items (avoids the whole awkward asking the waiter at the table thing). And as far as Paleo...well, cavemen basically ate meat and veggies, both of which are plentiful at Mark's Feed Store! I'll admit I was a little jealous when they ordered the wings to start as they are fried (so not paleo-friendly), but I did cheat a bit by pulling some of the meat off the bone and dousing it in their honey sauce. Yum!

We all ordered various things from the menu then split it up so we could each try a little of everything. The kids menu was simple, including all the staples most kids enjoy. Best of all, it is one of only a handful of sit-down restaurants where kids can eat for UNDER $5. AMEN! Perhaps that is why they most recently earned the "Best Family-Friendly Restaurant" award in Louisville for 2018. (Did I mention that Kids Eat FREE every Tuesday at all Mark's Feed Store Location?? Can't beat that!)

I was anxious to try the brisket, as that is one thing in particular that we LOVED at most Texas BBQ joints. Ricky loved that it was moist and included a hefty bark on the end. I enjoyed the generous serving size - there was definitely enough to share! I chose the green beans and baked sweet potato as my side. Both were really yummy (and I'm super picky about baked sweet potatoes...in my opinion it is hard to get them cooked just right, but this one was!)

The rest of our orders included the pulled chicken, pulled pork, ribs and chicken fingers with fries. Even the kids meal portions were generous -- more bang for the buck for sure! We were all stuffed...so we asked for the dessert menu to order something to go. The boys chose Oreo Banana Pudding. When they opened the container for "just a peek", they decided they somehow had room to eat it there. It must have been good because a few second later it was gone!

We were all around pleased with our visit and would definitely recommend checking out a Mark's Feed Store location near you. There are 6 convenient locations throughout Kentuckiana.

As a BONUS -- Mark's Feed Store has generously donated a Mark's Family Pack to one lucky More Skees Please reader. This includes:

1.5 lbs of Pork
1 Quart of Red Potato Salad
1 Pint of Mark’s Original Sauce
6 Buns
1 Quart of Baked Beans

*Meat and side options can be substituted; additional cost may apply.*

Visit Mark's Feed Store or More Skees Please on Instagram to learn how to enter!

**I received compensation for this post, but, as always, my opinion and photos for all reviews are 100% honest and my own.

Family Technology Guidelines

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 04:09:00 +0000

A few years ago, our oldest son Ethan asked us if he could create an Instagram account. I believe he was 9 at the time and to put the subject matter off in the moment, I may have said "when you're 10". It didn't get brought up again.

Well, wouldn't you know that within minutes of us showering him with "Happy Birthday" and a special 10 year old breakfast request, Ethan reminded me that I said he could get Instagram when he was 10. And here we were.

As someone who uses social media regularly in my every day life, I felt like I needed to address the topic with him in a fair and balanced way. I stayed true to my word and allowed him to download Instagram to his iPod but spent quite a bit of time helping him understand the benefits and risks of sharing online, whether in a private or public way.

We talked about general rules, things not to do, photos not to publish, etc. and I felt comfortable granting him that privilege. After all, Ethan was (and still is) quite mature for his age.

Once our second oldest, Aiden, caught wind, his eyes got big. "So I can get Instagram when I'm 10?" Now Aiden is not quite as mature for his age as Ethan, but how can I say no to one and not the other? I left my response much more vague this time "We'll see," I said.

And...here we are. On the eve of Aiden's big double-digit birthday and guess what he's been talking about all day? Instagram.

Our family is very "connected". My kids have televisions in their bedrooms, iPads, Kindles, iPods. Basically, as Ricky and I have upgraded our devices, we've either passed our old ones down or at the very least kept them to give to the kids at some point down the line. My kids all know how to find their way around passwords and YouTube searches - and were pretty good at it even at the young age of 3!

While we have always made it clear that having this access to technology is a privilege, it started to become overwhelming setting and sticking to consistent rules surrounding time limits, parental controls and ensuring privacy. I did a little research last year and came across a device called Circle by Disney. It is a small box that we connect to our home Wi-Fi that allows me to take care of all of that in one place. I created a profile for each child, linked their individual devices to their account, and from there I have set bed-times, usage times, restricted websites, games and apps, and am also able to access how they spend their time online. It has been a LIFE SAVER for my sanity - and has wreaked havoc on theirs ;)

Tonight, with Aiden anxiously awaiting access to Instagram tomorrow, I knew I had to come up with a clear-cut way to communicate the rules for our household. I finally went back through all my saved posts on Pinterest on this very subject. There are so many great resources, examples of contracts, and suggestions for explaining the risks of being online to kids of all ages.

I pieced ours together with what works for our family and thought I would share for anyone who may also be feeling the pressure of kids using technology and social media at younger and younger ages.

----------------- OUR FAMILY TECHNOLOGY GUIDELINES ---------------

The device belongs to you. That means you take care of it and YOU are responsible for it at all times. If it breaks? You fix it. If you lose it? You buy a new one. If you let a friend play a game and they drop it and crack the screen? You deal with a cracked screen or shell out the money to repair it. With that said, the device can and will become OURS should you not follow these guidelines:

1. PRIVACY:

· You will set a lock screen passcode for your devices that allow it. Write it down and don’t forget it! Then provide that passcode to mom and dad.

· You will keep track of all passwords for email, social media accounts and apps. All login information will be stored by mom and dad in case you forget. None of this information is to be given to anyone else…not even your best friend.

· If for whatever reason you change your passwords and fail to update us, you will lose your device. Period. We will always know the password and we will always have access to your device upon request.

· Not everything you read online or hear from friends is correct. If you have questions about subject matter that may result in inappropriate content online, ASK mom or dad. We will always have access to your search history and visited links. If we find that you have visited sites with inappropriate content, there will be consequences.

· Do not post or share photos of friends or family without their permission. Not everyone wants to be online. Not everyone is ALLOWED to be online.

· Do not send or ask someone else to send photos of any body parts. Ever.

· Do not engage with any person whom you do not know personally.

· Do not post or share personal information including my full name, address, phone number, school or other identifying information online unless discussed with mom or dad first (exceptions would be made in certain situations where the info is needed).

· If you come across inappropriate content online – whether it was searched on purpose, sent to you by someone else or stumbled upon by accident, you will let us know.

· If something does not feel comfortable while online, trust your gut. And then tell us.

2. MANNERS:

· When using your device always use your manners. If someone texts you, respond. If someone calls you, answer! Talking on FaceTime? Talk! Say hello! Have your clothes on. Say please and thank you. Don’t swear. No cuss words. Be respectful.

· If mom or dad calls or texts, and you have possession of your device, YOU BETTER ANSWER/RESPOND. Failure to do so results in loss of your device.

· Do not use this technology to lie, deceive, make fun of or fool another human being. Do not be any part of group conversations that do any of the above. Be a good human. Do not say anything through a text or phone call on any device that you would not say in person. Do not text, email or say anything that you would not say in front of your mom or dad.

3. APPS, GAMES + MUSIC:

· You will only download apps and/or games that are approved by mom and dad. This includes (but is not limited to) social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, etc. and any games, music or movies that may be rated above your age limit.

· You are not allowed to make in-app purchases unless okayed by mom and dad. Wasting money on gimmicks and game “upgrades” is silly. If you have iTunes credit, you may spend it as you wish, but once it is gone, it’s gone.

· Unless given permission, all social media accounts will remain “private” and will not be made “public” at any time.

· You are not allowed to communicate with strangers within apps through private messages, instant messages, texting, etc.

· You will not watch or listen to content that is inappropriate. This includes music, movies and YouTube videos with foul language, adult content or other offensive material. If you stumble upon something that may get you in trouble, turn it off then let us know.

4. USAGE:

· Unless you have specific permission otherwise, you will turn off/silence and put away your device when in public or during face to face conversation.

· Your device will not be allowed at the table while eating meals. That includes breakfast, lunch and dinner.

· On school nights, your devices are not to be used after 9pm. That includes iPads, iPods and computers. Televisions and Amazon Echos have different rules that may vary.

· Devices should be charging and unused from 9pm on. They may stay in your room to charge, but if I see activity after 9pm, it will need to be turned in to mom and dads room each night at 9pm going forward.

· If you forget to charge your device overnight and want/need to use it the next day…too bad. Plug it in and wait!

· Weekend rules may vary also (depending on your behavior and our moods).

We know you will make mistakes and the consequences may include taking your devices away. But we hope you will learn from your mistakes and move forward. Every single one of these guidelines is what is best for you even if you don’t understand or agree with them. It is our hope that you take the above guidelines seriously and follow these terms as they are written. Technology is a fun and exciting thing when used appropriately and safely. But it is a privilege and it is our job as your parents to make sure it is not abused.

We love you so so much! Mom + Dad

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have read and understand all the technology guidelines as outlined above. I will agree to abide by these guidelines with the knowledge that there will be consequences otherwise:

SIGNED: ____________________________________________ DATE:__________________________

MomLife Louisville || House of Boom!

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 08 Feb 2018 21:12:00 +0000

This post is looooong overdue and I could list eleventy-billion excuses for why it hasn't been written yet, but the short and long of it is that I simply haven't gotten around to it. But today, as Aiden is getting ready to turn 10 (on Sunday), I was reminiscing about this past year and everything he has been through. One of the very biggest highlights from before his major surgery was being able to throw an awesome "Super Aiden" going away party of sorts before we left for Texas.

Back in May (yes, May 2017), we invited all of our nearest and dearest neighborhood friends to celebrate with us at House of Boom. We booked their "Boom 10" party package that included the below:

1 hour flight ticket for each guest
exclusive use of party room for 45 minutes after jumping
party hostess to assist with setup and cleanup
table cover, plates, utensils, cups and napkins
t-shirt for the party guest of honor
grip socks for each jumper

This wasn't anyone's first visit to House of Boom and as usual, everyone had an awesome time. It is the PERFECT place for active kids to get their energy out while having fun! Because House of Boom is pretty much a wide-open space, parents can find a spot on one of their benches or a comfy couch in the upper observation deck and have a full view of each area. But usually, you'll find parents tagging along with their kids and joining in on the fun!

If you want to visit House of Boom on your own outside of a party, they offer 60, 90 and 120 minute flight passes every day of the week. Peak times do sell out so it is recommended that you book your tickets online in advance and arrive 15 minutes before your flight time. They also offer a $3-4 discount for jumpers under the age of 7. Each jumper needs to have a waiver on file and kids 13 and under have to have a parent on the premises at all times.

I recommend booking a party outside of peak times simply because when it gets crowded it can be a little overwhelming for little ones and the wait times for some of the activities gets kind of long. There is a trapeze where kids can swing and fall into a pit, a ropes-type ninja course, a tight-rope across a pit and an area to bounce and flip into a foam pit as well. Aiden's party was on a Sunday evening at 7pm and we pretty much had the place to ourselves!

As a busy family with 4 boys, going to House of Boom is always suggested when we have some downtime in our schedule. And I have to say, it is usually a win-win because not only do they have fun, but they are thoroughly worn out when all is said and done so bedtime is a lot easier :)

* I received a complimentary House of Boom party package through a partnership with USFamilyGuide.com. We were so grateful for the opportunity to use the party for this purpose before Aiden's surgery. As always, all opinions are honest and my own.

MomLife Louisville || Bear Paddle Swim School

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Sat, 30 Dec 2017 02:52:00 +0000

I know we just got through Christmas, and spring break may not be the next thing on your mind, but the only thing that is going to get me through this cold weather is counting down the days until we are on the beach again.

As the boys get older and more active, I am beginning to purge some of the toys they no longer use. So for Christmas, I asked my mom to buy less "stuff" and give more "experiences". Nolan had a few trial classes at Bear Paddle Swim School here in town and after the first class I was so impressed that I suggested my mom consider gifting the boys lessons to prepare them for all our time by the pool and in the ocean in a few months. Can't beat the practicality!

Aiden, Hudson and Nolan were THRILLED when they opened their swim package at Nana's. My mom recruited my niece to make super cute certificates which she included inside along with a skill-patch towel, a Bear Paddle teddy bear and a hooded beach towel. They are so excited for their sessions to begin in January.

What makes Bear Paddle so great?

I had never heard of Bear Paddle until just a few months ago when they reached out to me about their new location in Louisville off Hurstbourne Ln. When we went for our first visit I was impressed with the facility. It was clean, bright, welcoming and warm. We were greeted by their friendly staff and given a tour. Afterwards we headed to the family changing area to get Nolan ready for his class. There were numerous private stalls for changing, a large grouping of lockers to keep belongings and a few swim suit dryers for after class so you don't have to toss dripping trunks into your bag to bring home. And because I'm a moderate germophobe, I'll mention again that it was very clean, which is always a huge plus in my book.

Before getting in the saltwater pool, kids are supposed to walk through a "Kiddie Car Wash" - a water shower area - but Nolan refused, so I wasn't sure he would even step foot in the pool for the lesson. Luckily, he warmed up to his instructor pretty quickly and got right in.

The gentle and fun approach that Bear Paddle uses to teach basic swim skills was perfect for Nolan. They sing songs, splash, and have the kids pretend to push the instructor in the water which always got a lot of laughs. The small lanes have a platform at the other end so the kids can stand up and catch their breath when they turn around. Genius! They worked on putting their faces in the water, getting their heads wet, floating on their back, kicking and paddling, and even getting out of the pool on the side by themselves, something I never really even thought of needing to teach!

At the end of the first class Nolan was sad and couldn't wait to come back. And once the other boys heard Nolan got to go swimming, they wanted to get in on the fun. Ethan, my oldest, swims independently, but if he ever wanted to participate, Bear Paddle also offers classes beyond the fundamentals, helping them learn and master swim strokes, flip turns and other competitive skills.

Bear Paddle also offers swim camps and pool parties. Nolan turns 4 February 1st and he has already decided he wants to celebrate with friends at Bear Paddle.

I highly recommend you check them out! For more information, visit Bear Paddle's website or give them a call and ask for your free trial class today. Only 3 months left before spring break, so get those little ones ready by helping them become confident swimmers, and helping give you peace of mind!

**I was given complimentary Bear Paddle swim lessons in exchange for social media sharing. As always, my reviews are 100% honest.

2017: Facing Many Changes

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 21:40:00 +0000

I clearly remember the anxiety that overcame me the minute the ball dropped last New Year's Eve. Once we said goodbye to 2016, it meant we were entering "the year that Aiden would have his midface surgery". It became real. We had to start saying "this year" rather than "in the future" when discussions on the subject would come up. The anticipation for this part of his journey had lingered for so long that the build up almost broke me.

In February we got a date confirmed for the mid-face advancement procedure and an official countdown began. My emotions were strapped in tight on the scariest roller coaster you could ever imagine. Most of the time I would be okay to function normally, participate socially, smile freely. But underneath the surface my nerves were shot.

My health suffered. I felt like a failure as a mom because there were so many moments I had to lock myself in my room to cry. The stress took a toll on my body and I bounced around from doctor to doctor begging someone to figure out why I felt like a 36 year old woman trapped in an 85 year old's body.

And yet time didn't stop, May 19th still steadily approached.

As someone with a type-A personality, always wanting to plan things and control the outcomes, the unknowns that surrounded the major procedure my 9 year old son was going to undergo left me feeling completely out of sorts. I found a wonderful therapist who was worth every penny, but even that was no match for the craziness that swirled about my head on a daily basis. I used to be someone who kept a clean house, stayed on top of the laundry, meal-planned and cooked healthy dinners several nights a week. Someone who loved to write. Someone who felt pretty confident in her abilities to be a decent mom and manage the chaos that is mothering 4 boys under 10.

In April, we went on spring break with a group of friends. For the second year in a row we had 14+ kids and 12 adults sharing a large beach house. It was totally crazy and definitely fun, but every second felt like I was watching it happen through the lens of "what-ifs". Every photo I took of the boys playing carefree in the sand was snapped with a lump in my throat and the gruesome thought "what if this is the last time we are on the beach together as a family of 6".

My friend Cara happens to be an amazing photographer so when I asked if she would take our family photos that year in Destin, she happily obliged. I remember applying makeup to my sunburned face and having to put my mascara on last because of the tears I cried thinking that these would be the last professional pictures we would have as a family before Aiden's surgery. The last photos we would have of Aiden the way he was then. My mind raced, "What if these were the last family pictures with Aiden we had...ever?"

Photo Credit: Caroline Couture Photography

May began and we tied up loose ends. Everyone rallied around our son with Super Aiden t-shirts, care packages and lots and lots of visits with friends and family. And then, on a sunny morning in mid-May, we said our good-byes, kissed the other boys and piled in the car careening towards the biggest unknown of all. "What if Aiden doesn't come home?"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Handing him over was still just as difficult as it always is. Ricky and I sat silently in the family waiting room but our hearts spoke through the worry on our faces. "Please let him come back to us."

In just 4 short hours the surgery was complete and although we still had several weeks of enduring the RED device, my biggest fear subsided. I started to breathe again. He was okay. We were going to be okay. The first few weeks were the hardest. He was sad, not himself. Who could blame him. When he began doing cannonballs into the pool we knew we would make it through this too. The days were slow but the weeks flew by and before we knew it we were heading back to Dallas for the removal of the device. The final weight to be lifted off our shoulders.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Adjusting to Aiden's new look was slow at first. We had so many mixed emotions as we stared at a boy who looked one way 8 weeks earlier and totally different now. He bounced back quickly and had a new sense of confidence which made it easier for us to accept the change.

It wasn't long after things settled down that I finally took time to care for myself. I was eventually diagnosed with Hashimotos thyroiditis, an autoimmune disease that affects the function of your thyroid. I had been on medication for hypothyrodism for years but the underlying issue was (and may have always been) Hashimotos. With a clearer diagnosis, a new endocrinologist, some new medication and significant diet changes, I started on the right path to feeling better.

Although the surgery was behind us, I think I underestimated the time it would take for my mind and heart to heal. For many more weeks, months even, I felt like I was treading water, never able to make it to the edge for a break. I wasn't drowning anymore, but I was definitely still having trouble keeping my head above the splashes that even just a back to "normal" life surrounds you with.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

My 2017 "Best Nine" photos from Instagram (the pictures with the most "likes").
Clearly indicates what our biggest event from this year was!
Visit @MoreSkeesPlease on Instagram to follow our family.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Looking back, this entire year has mostly been a blur. There were so many good moments - wonderful friends that lifted our family up in ways that I'll never quite be able to adequately express gratitude for. Family who literally put their lives on hold to help us sort ours out. And the overwhelming relief of a successful surgery and smooth transition from Aiden before the RED to the new Aiden after the RED.

My strength and resolve was tested for sure, but with the love from those closest to us and even the support from complete strangers who prayed for a little boy they have never met, I'm happy to say I have found a renewed faith in God. My mind feels clear and my heart at ease. I am ready to take on 2018. Oh so grateful for the both the valleys and the peaks. Oh so grateful for this crazy beautiful life.

What Is the Mid-Face Advancement Surgery and the RED device?

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 19:52:00 +0000

102 days from surgery.

A friend asked me the other night, "So what exactly will they be doing?" As many times as I've talked about this procedure, I surprised that I found myself a little stumped on how to answer. I can tell you what the device is called, how it is attached, what the purpose of it is...but anything more in depth gets a little fuzzy. So I went to Aiden's surgeon's website and pulled information that can explain it much better than I can. Below is a summary that answers some of the most common questions I receive about this procedure.

The LeFort III brings the entire midface forward in one piece from the upper teeth to just above the cheekbones and the monobloc brings both the midface and the forehead forward together at the same operation.
Although the LeFort III is a major operation, of all the different procedures done for Apert syndrome it has the greatest impact on normalizing a child’s appearance and improving breathing at night.
In 1998 [Dr. Fearon] developed what is called a halo-distraction technique for the LeFort III. This technique utilizes a device called the RED, which is actually not red, but purple in color. It gets its name for being a Rigid External Distraction device.
With the RED procedure the bones of the mid face are cut loose then the skin is closed and a halo is attached to the outside of the skull with 8-10 screws. A splint (U-shaped piece of plastic) is attached to the upper teeth and two wires extend forward from this splint to attach to the halo.
The forward pull of the midface comes from the dental splint. The parents, or the child, turn two screws on the device 2 to 3-times day in order to slowly (and painlessly!) bring the midface forward.
The children are allowed to eat soft foods, may go to school, and can even go swimming while wearing the RED. For some children wearing this device after surgery is easier than for others.
Seven to eight weeks later, the device is removed with a 20-30 minute anesthetic.
The greatest advantage of the RED device is that it enables surgeons to move the midface much further forward than is possible the traditional technique (based on a study done at our center).
We have treated over 125 children with this technique, and continue to make fine improvements in this procedure.

Below are some photos shared with permission from friends in the craniofacial community who's children have undergone the RED surgery already.

If you have any questions, please know that I am always happy to answer them! I may have to look it up myself, as I'm no expert on this by any means, but I will never be offended by the opportunity to learn and share. Just be warned that I do get emotional talking about it in person...so perhaps email would be better ;)

Feeling Blue About the RED

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 22:04:00 +0000

105 days.

That's how long sits between now and the day that our little boys face will be changed forever. As most of you know, Aiden has something called Apert syndrome. Along with the more than 12 procedures Aiden has already had, kids with Apert syndrome more often than not require what is called a mid-face advancement because the portion of their face from their brow bone to their upper jaw does not grow at the proper rate. The goal of the mid-face advancement surgery is to pull that section forward gradually. It is medically necessary in order to expand the airway in order to prevent apnea (and thus developmental delays), to address anatomical issues with the palate (which affects speech and sometimes eating), and finally, to "improve" physical appearance.

Improve physical appearance? That one kind of hurts my heart because, you see, I don't think Aiden needs his appearance improved one bit. I think my little soon to be 9 year old boy, who has had his skull broken open and pieced back together more than once, is perfect just the way he is.

I remember sitting in Dr. Fearon's office 8 years ago listening to him tell us what the typical treatment plan is for individuals with Apert syndrome. Along with sharing about the procedures to separate their fused fingers and toes, I clearly recall him casually mentioning this mid-face advancement, done around age 8 or 9, and thinking 'thank goodness we don't have to worry about that for a long time'.

And yet here we are, 105 days away, no longer a long time.

Our last trip to Dallas was fall of 2015. It was our craniofacial clinic where we bring Aiden for a round-up of appointments to check his growth, how much space his brain has in his skull, and monitor his sleeping to see if his apnea has progressed. We spend a full day bouncing from one specialist to another before finally heading to Dr. Fearon's office for his interpretation of all the tests. Because we were approaching Aiden's 8th birthday at the time, we fully expected to start the planning process for the mid-face advancement to be in May of 2016. But, we were surprised when he said that Aiden was doing well enough to postpone for another year. Nothing can describe the wide range of emotion we felt hearing those words: relief that he was doing so well, excitement that we would get to spend another summer surgery-free, and yet, also disappointment knowing we would have to endure the anxiety of anticipating this major surgery for yet another year.

We have been blessed to spend the past few years without having to put Aiden through any major procedures. In fact, he has been doing so well that I ultimately began to question whether Aiden would need the mid-face advancement at all. I had always been told that it wasn't a matter of if, but a matter of when. We would know when he needed it if he was not sleeping well due to snoring, if he was not breathing well, especially when sick with a cold, and if he was being severely made fun of because of his appearance. Now I know more goes in to it than that, but after thinking each of those things through, it became confusing to me. Aiden slept fine and rarely snored, he was able to stave off a cold in a normal amount of time (and in fact rarely got sick anymore at all), and although he does still get his fair share of stares and comments, I wouldn't call it severe teasing by any means. I was actually convinced that Dr. Fearon would say Aiden didn't need the RED afterall. In a moment of panic, I emailed him requesting a firm explanation on exactly why this is medically necessary FOR AIDEN specifically.

I'm sure I wasn't the first concerned parent to request more reassurance - and it felt good to seek a better understanding as Aiden's advocate. Dr. Fearon replied the next day with a thorough explanation. Our hopes for Aiden to escape the need were dashed.

We have been preparing ourselves in many ways over the past few months. Aiden regularly goes to a child psychologist whom he really trusts and feels comfortable opening up to about how he's feeling. I too have sought out a therapist to help me deal with my emotions as well. We talk about it only when Aiden brings it up or we need to, which is unfortunately becoming more and more often. We lean on our close-knit support group of other craniofacial families who's children have already had this procedure before us. One of our dear friends, John, actually boxed up his removed RED device and shipped it to us across the country just so Aiden could check it out closely first-hand. He along with numerous other kiddos have offered to answer questions on what to expect or any other topic Aiden might want to ask about. And I can't tell you how many times I've sat in a parking lot conducting my own kind of therapy session chatting on the phone with another cranio mom who knows exactly how it feels to be where I am right now. My goodness how all of these things have been and will continue to be life-lines to us. So very grateful.

Surgery is confirmed for May 19th, 2017. That gives us 105 days to soak up our little boy just the way he is. To prepare our hearts for the changes that are to come. This is a hard road, but we know we will get through it because we are not alone.

Frisch's Celebrates Long-Standing Sponsorship of the Cincinnati Ballet's Nutcracker with Holiday Edition Dessert

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 15:32:00 +0000

Nothing says the holidays like peppermint flavored desserts and watching the Nutcracker. Luckily, I got to kick off this season with exactly that!

Frisch's restaurants is celebrating their long history of community support as the Cincinnati Ballet's primary sponsor of the Nutcracker. Dating back to the very first performance in 1974, the Frisch's and Nutcracker relationship is one of the longest-lasting examples of corporate sponsorship in American arts history! Wow, that's impressive!

As part of the partnership, Frisch's worked with members of the Cincinnati Ballet to launch a Peppermint Hot Fudge Cake. This first-ever holiday edition of its best-selling dessert is only available for a limited time. The original fudge cake has never been offered in another flavor until now, but don't worry, you can also still get the classic version at all Frisch's restaurants as well.

My sister and I started off the night at the Covington Frisch's with a special tasting of some of their comfort food staples like meatloaf, carved turkey, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and dinner rolls. After cleaning our plates, we watched as Chef Greg Grisanti assembled a Peppermint Hot Fudge Cake tableside. I'm not normally a big peppermint fan, however I have to say that I enjoyed every bite of this delectable dessert. I was pleasantly surprised!

Following dinner, we headed across the river for opening night of the Cincinnati Ballet's Nutcracker. There's just something about twinkly theater lights and adults and children all dressed up that makes me feel in the holiday spirit. I cannot remember the last time I saw the Nutcracker - I'm sure I did on a school field-trip as a child - but regardless it felt like a brand new experience to me.

Everything about the show was impressive. The scenery, costumes, the music and the performers were flawless. This would be a fantastic event to add to your holiday traditions...starting the night out with dinner at Frisch's of course!

DISCLOSURE: I received complimentary food and ballet tickets and was compensated for my time. All opinions, as always, are my own.

Greater Cincinnati Holiday Market is THIS WEEKEND!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Tue, 08 Nov 2016 17:38:00 +0000

Every year for the past 8 or 9 years, my mom, sister and I have gotten together for a day of shopping and fun at the Greater Cincinnati Holiday Market. I drive up to NKY in the morning and we all go together to start (or if we're doing really good, finish) our Christmas shopping. It is so much fun that not even being on bedrest while pregnant with Nolan stopped us from keeping this tradition - they wheeled me around in a wheelchair!

This is SUCH a large show, with more than 300 boutique vendors selling both locally made and other unique items. From clothing and jewelry to food and sweets, there truly is no shortage of gift ideas for every person on your list!

A few tips:

They offer VIP tickets for early shopping on Friday.
There is a no-stroller shopping time to make it a less cramped with the crowds, so be sure to check the schedule online so you don't show up with your little ones in tow during that time.
They sometimes offer a free shopping bag at the door to carry your purchases while shopping, but there were a few years that didn't happen, so I would bring one of your own just in case.
Plan to spend a couple hours for sure - bring snacks or extra cash to eat at one of the food vendors they have available. The food selection has gotten better over the years!
Don't wear your winter coat! No matter how cold it is outside, leave it in the car. It gets pretty crowded...you won't need the layers.
Don't be afraid to ask vendors to take less. I have had some success negotiating in the past, especially if I'm buying multiple items from someone.

Add this event to your holiday plans every year. Make it a girls day - grab your girlfriends/sisters/grandmas/etc and shop til you drop! They even offer a bar if you want to quench your thirst with a nice glass of wine or a frosty beer. How cool is that?

Cannot wait to get my shopping on this weekend with my favorite people :)

Visit their website for all the information including admission prices, where to buy tickets (Cincinnati area Kroger offers a $3 discount) and where to park. Or follow them on Facebook for sneak peek pictures and ticket giveaways!

DISCLOSURE: I was given 3 tickets in exchange for helping them get the word out about this year's event. All opinions are, as always, truthful and my own.

Easy Homemade Applesauce Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 00:06:00 +0000

Nothing says fall like apple picking. It has always been a favorite thing for my family to do each year. It is also a great day-date option or could be a fun outing with friends. While in Michigan for fall break we visited our favorite place to stock up on a few dozen apples, Crane Orchards.

Now what do I do with all the apples we pick? Well, in my household they go pretty quick so having too many apples (or any fruit really) is never a problem. In addition, we go through jars and jars of applesauce a month. I've been very label conscious lately - trying to make smarter choices and buying foods with less sugar, no preservatives, and no additives or artificial colors. When it comes to "clean eating" sometimes it is just easier (and cheaper) to make your own.

I have made this homemade applesauce for the past few years and it is a HIT at our house. I end up making a larger and larger batch each year so it lasts longer. It is SUPER easy and not only does it taste amazing, it also makes your house smell divine.

Teal Pumpkin Project || Guest Post from Tami Pyles of Thrive On Consulting

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 24 Oct 2016 16:31:00 +0000

This post was previously published on Louisville It Mom last year. With Halloween around the corner, and dealing with Hudson's food allergy, I wanted to share this here on More Skees Please.

Have you seen teal pumpkins popping up on porches across your neighborhood? It's not the latest decorating fad (although I do love the color), these pumpkins symbolize an important intitiative to keep kids with food allergies safe at Halloween - The Teal Pumpkin Project.

The Teal Pumpkin Project aims to keep children with food allergies safe while trick or treating. By placing a teal pumpkin at your house you commit to offering non-food treats at Halloween – a great way to ensure a safe and fun night for those who could suffer life-threatening consequences from ingesting allergen containing candy.

As a food allergy mom, Halloween is one of the scariest holidays! It is frightening to think that consuming a piece of Halloween candy could lead to a life-threatening reaction; and it is heartbreaking at the end of Halloween to watch my daughter go through her candy and have to discard a majority of it because it is not safe for her. The Teal Pumpkin Project helps ensure safe treats make it into her bag, and the bags of the many other children with food allergies.

In fact, 1:13 children have a food allergy. With numbers this high, it is a given that some of your trick or treaters will have food allergies. Ready to make it a safe holiday for everyone? Follow these three easy steps to participate in the Teal Pumpkin Project:

Step One: Get a Pumpkin and Paint it Teal

I have found that acrylic paint and white pumpkins work really well (although orange pumpkins can be painted too!). Don't have time to get and paint a pumpkin before Halloween? No problem! You can also download this flyer from FARE, a national organization that supports food allergy research and education, and display it on your door to indicate that you are participating in the Teal Pumpkin Project.

Step Two: Purchase Non-food Treats

There are lots of great options to offer as non-food treats for the Teal Pumpkin Project, these include: bubbles, stickers, glow sticks, spider rings, temporary tattoos. Head to the dollar store or party store to stock up on great non-food loot. And, if you are participate in the Teal Pumpkin Project, it doesn’t mean that you can’t offer candy too. Just keep your candy and non-food treats in separate bowls to prevent any cross-contact.

Step Three: Display your Pumpkin and Keep it Safe on Halloween

When trick-or-treaters visit your house if they see a teal pumpkin they will know that you offer non-food treats. Non-food treats also help other children who might have medical conditions that require them to monitor sugar intake or avoid certain foods like sugar and food coloring.

Want more information on the Teal Pumpkin Project? You can find it here. Do you need more information on food allergies or assistance managing life with food allergies? Check out my company, Thrive On Consulting. I work with individuals and families dealing with food allergies to navigate day-to-day life safely and Thrive On with food allergies. I also do training sessions for groups and organizations on food allergy awareness and creating safe and inclusive environments.

Happy Halloween and Keep it Teal!

Tami Pyles is the Founder of Thrive On Consulting- dedicated to helping those with food allergies. She lives in Prospect with her husband and two daughters, ages and 4 and 6.

Mix Up Your Boring Workout Routine!

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Sat, 22 Oct 2016 17:59:00 +0000

Let's face it, sometimes the only workout we get in on any given day is chasing our toddlers around or lugging laundry baskets. Gyms can be intimidating. Childcare can be tricky. But putting your health first is truly so important in order to have so many of the things us moms need just to make it through the day - sustained energy, strength for all the heavy lifting (kids, laundry baskets, etc.) and clarity of mind to stay focused on those we love so much.

So, Louisville friends, if you feel like you need a little motivation, or perhaps want some new ideas to keep your fitness routine from becoming too boring, below is a round-up of some unique workout opportunities around town. There's truly something for everyone! Don't live in Louisville? Some of these are chains and you might be able to find them (or something similar) where you live as well!

If you happen to give any of these local ones a shot, be sure to tell them Taryn @ More Skees Please sent you!

COREY TAYLOR SPORTS PERFORMANCE

LOCATION(S): 1800 Elite Dr. Louisville, KY
TYPE OF WORKOUT: A performance training facility dedicated to providing an elite experience to athletes and adults of all fitness levels.
COST: $22/session or 16 sessions for $240
CLASS SUGGESTION: Power Cardio 5:30am daily

PURE BARRE

LOCATION(S): New Albany, Westport Village, Summit
TYPE OF WORKOUT: The Pure Barre technique is a unique way to build strength, endurance and tone your muscles in a safe, low impact manner through the use of small focused movements.
COST: $20/class; New client package -- 1 month of unlimited classes for $100; 1 month unlimited for all others is $220; "Bride To Be" package -- $355 for 3 months
CLASS SUGGESTION: Breaking Down the Barre (visit website for class schedule)

STROLLER STRIDES (Fit4Mom)

LOCATION(S): UofL Shelbyhurst Campus, Parklands of Floyds Fork, EP Tom Sawyer, King Louie's, Louisville Zoo
TYPE OF WORKOUT: A stroller-based fitness program designed for moms with little ones. Each 60-minute, total body workout incorporates power walking, strength, toning, songs and activities. Certified fitness instructors offer a variety of fun class formats both indoors and outdoors.
COST: 1st session FREE; $18/class; $65/month; $55/month for teachers!; $45/month for night/weekend classes only; $150 for 10 visits; $199 summer pass
CLASS SUGGESTION: Zoo Workout! June 8th 9:30-10:30 (click link for more info)

9ROUND

LOCATION(S): Chamberlain Ln, Middletown Commons, St. Matthews, and coming soon to Prospect @ TimberRidge Dr. and East End at Lime Kiln and Brownsboro Rd.
TYPE OF WORKOUT: 30-Minute Kickboxing Workout With No Class Times
COST: 1st session FREE; contact location nearest you for membership pricing
CLASS SUGGESTION: Every 30 minute class is different, so just try it out to see what you like!

BYOU

LOCATION(S): Springhurst and St. Matthews
TYPE OF WORKOUT: Various barre workouts including B.Barre, B.Bounce and B.Silque
COST: 1 week trial $20; New client special - 1st month $99; $198/month; 1 year unlimited $138/month; Mommy rate 3 months for $399; Student rate $99/month; All packages include FREE CHILDCARE, 15% off retail purchases, exclusive sales/events
CLASS SUGGESTION: B.Silque Cocoon...an hour of solitude, calming music and weightlessness

YMCA

LOCATION(S): There are 12 YMCA locations across Louisville and Southern Indiana. Visit their website to find a location near you!
TYPE OF WORKOUT: So many different options for members!
COST: Membership ranges from $52/month for a single to $89/month for a family; find detailed pricing info here
CLASS SUGGESTION: Cycle 30 an entry level spin class

TURNERS CIRCUS

LOCATION(S): 3125 River Rd. Louisville
TYPE OF WORKOUT: Aerial courses - physical movement, often dance-like or acrobatic in nature, performed while suspended in the air. Although challenging, working out with aerial equipment provides very measurable progress, making it a fun and exciting way to achieve your goals. Whether your goal is to get in shape for the first time, or add a new dimension to your existing workout routine, Aerial work is a fabulous fit!
COST: $10 first time drop in; $24/class; $120 for 6 week course; click HERE for class descriptions and pricing
CLASS SUGGESTION: Circus Taster...Step right up to find out what circus art makes your heart sing. 2 hour introductory workshop where you will get a taste of each apparatus.

FOUR BARREL CROSS-FIT

LOCATION(S): New Albany, East Louisville (Westport Rd.)
TYPE OF WORKOUT: Total body functional workout focused on strength and conditioning
COST: "On Ramp" program - 1st 2 weeks are FREE, $149 for next 4 weeks (2 weeks finishes On Ramp then is followed by 2 weeks of unlimited regular classes); 3 drop-ins free for LeanX Classes (high-intensity conditioning class)
CLASS SUGGESTION: If you are new to Cross Fit, we recommend visiting a gym to get a good understanding of these intense workouts

HOUSE OF BOOM

LOCATION(S): 100 Urton Ln. Louisville
TYPE OF WORKOUT: Intense cardio, strength, balance, agility, and flexibility trampoline workout.
COST: $13/visit or $40/month
CLASS SUGGESTION: BoomFit is offered Wednesdays 10-11am and Thursdays 9-10pm. Preregistration online is recommended.

CHECK THIS OUT...I recently found out about 502 Fit Pass. This unique workout opportunity offers a way for you to try a variety of workouts at different locations/gyms all across the city. How does it work? You can visit the same Fit Spot up to 3x in 30 days, depending on your membership. Four Barrel Crossfit, House of Boom and 9Round are all participating locations! Check out www.502fitpass.com to find out more!

Give Something Uncommon for the Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:34:00 +0000

As the holidays quickly approach, I find myself scouring the internet looking for unique gifts. Whether you are looking for something for the person who has everything or simply trying to step up your gift-giving game, I highly recommend checking out what Uncommon Goods has to offer.

They have everything conveniently organized into categories which makes the shopping experience seamless. Want something with that personal touch? Check out all their personalized gift options here. Or maybe you are trying to find something for that special man in your life even though you both agreed you wouldn't be exchanging gifts (but you always end up doing it anyway). How about something unique and sophisticated for someone with an upcoming birthday? Anything you choose from Uncommon Goods is sure to impress.

A couple things on my wish list...

1. Soapstone Hot and Cold Handheld Bowls

2. ZigZag Envelope Wallet

3. Food Fight Jumbo Coloring Poster

4. Pineapple Tumbler

Uncommon Goods is a unique company that is dedicated to making a positive impact in the workplace and the world. Read more about their mission here. Even cooler? Their Better to Give program allows you to select a nonprofit organization to receive a $1 donation from them at checkout (ahem...apertOWL...hint hint...).

*Disclosure: This is a Sponsored Post brought to you by Uncommon Goods for which I received a purchase credit. As always, all opinions are my own.

Dean's Dairy Goes Pink This October

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Tue, 18 Oct 2016 17:31:00 +0000

Dean's Dairy to Donate Up to $25,000 in Support of the Fight Against Breast Cancer

Almost everyone I know has been touched by cancer in some way. Whether it is a family member, a friend, a colleague or an acquaintance, I can think of almost a dozen off the top of my head - with several of them battling breast cancer in particular. As advancements are made in technology and more and more time is put into scientific research to understand the best possible treatment options, it seems that beating cancer can be within our reach. That is why it is so important to support funding the organizations that are leading the fight.

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many businesses are stepping up to raise money for various cancer organizations. Locally owned Dean's Dairy is proud to do their part! Below is a press release excerpt:

For more than 75 years, Louisvillians have known that their local Dean’s Dairy products provide gallons of nutrition to their families. Now, Dean’s Dairy is also providing gallons of hope in the fight against breast cancer.

Beginning September 26 and continuing throughout the month of October, Dean’s Dairy is inviting the community to buy a gallon, and make a difference. For each sale of specially-marked gallons of Dean’s DairyPure white milk sold in the Louisville area, Dean’s Dairy will donate five-cents to the American Cancer Society.

I don't know about you, but with growing 4 kids at home, we go through 2-3 gallons of milk a week! So while you are doing your grocery shopping, look for the Dean's DairyPure white milk gallons that feature the pink ribbon and the American Cancer Society logo, and know that with every gallon purchased, you are doing a small part to help the fight against breast cancer. Let me know where YOU find your specially marked milk in the comments below!

Learn more about Dean's Dairy and their Five-Point Purity Promise to provide the best tasting, antibiotic and growth hormone free milk online at deandairy.com or visit Dean's Dairy on Facebook.

*This is a sponsored post. As always, all opinions are my own.

House of Boom Savings for Louisville!

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Mon, 03 Oct 2016 18:15:00 +0000

Defy Gravity at one of the coolest facilities in America. Over 10,000 square feet of connected, world-class trampolines in a 23,000 sq. ft facility. The trampoline grid features over 60 trampolines, including the famous angled wall trampolines, launching decks and a few surprises up in the ceiling to test your vertical.

If your kids (6 and under) are ready to dominate the park without bigger kids around....YOU MUST check-out KidJump. Every day from 9-10am is exclusively for parents and children!

My readers get to save! $2 OFF - Present this coupon to receive $2 off a flight ticket anytime!
http://usfamilyguide.com/coupons.php?bid=12722&dealid=2678 .@usfg

Hearty Paleo stuffed pepper soup

noreply@blogger.com (Taryn) — Thu, 29 Sep 2016 15:03:00 +0000

It's finally fall and the cool crisp air is definitely a welcomed thing! The leaves are changing, I'm pulling out my sweaters and I'm starting to use my crockpot more and more. This hearty stuffed pepper soup is delicious - the perfect way to welcome fall. And as I continue to incorporate more clean eating and paleo recipes into my lifestyle, this one does not disappoint. Enjoy!

HEARTY PALEO CROCKPOT STUFFED PEPPER SOUP

Ingredients:
1 lb grass-fed ground beef
1 lb mild or spicy italian sausage
3 bell peppers, any color, diced
2 (15 oz.) cans diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (15 oz.) can tomato sauce
32 oz. broth (chicken, vegetable or beef)
1 cup water
1 onion, coarsely chopped
3-4 cloves minced garlic
2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp pepper
4 cups cauliflower rice (optional)

Instructions:

Brown meat and drain grease
Add all ingredients to crockpot and stir
Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours (if using cauliflower rice, add during last 30 mins)