More Time With Our Kids

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter 6}: How We Look

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:31:00 +0000

"Why do I always forget?" she asked,
but I wonder, why, so often, I am too blind to see?

Like a runner with a fixed gaze, focused on the course -- the up-down, pushing on, pounding feet against pavement.
Forging ahead but looking
down!

Grunting,
bearing the pain,
pressing on
but missing the grandeur of wild, open spaces screaming with beauty.
That is me.

Like that dog with a cone over its head, shielding its eyes from any and all distractions.
No peripheral vision.
No above or below or left or right,
only what is right ahead.

That is me,
and I am running.

My gaze so fixed on the list,
on the goals,
I miss the waving arms and excited beckoning:
Beauty and surprise and joy --
and freedom --
surrounding me.
Waiting for me.
Look up.

"Look up," they call,
but I miss the invitation.

Focused.
Fixed.
Forgetting.
The gift is lost on me when I simply don't look up. {<-- Click to tweet.}

I dreaded him coming home one night. The burden of a too long to-do list with too little time weighed on my mind and all I could think of was what I wouldn't get done if he called me to sit with him and relax. To just be. Why can I do, but not be?

I want this to be the year that I wait,
that I still,
that I rest in Him.
The achiever in me pushes and pushes and pushes,
and it takes a ten ton weight to remind me to slow,
to let go,
to rest.

"Every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I don't see God, I'll bow down before something else." (p. 110)

Lord, remove the blinders! Why do I wear them again?

"How we look determines how we live ... if we live." (p. 113)

Open my eyes that I may see You!
I don't want to bow down to a schedule, to a list or a dream or a goal -- an endless chasing after the wind.
I want to bow down to You!
I want to see You!
Lord, I want to chase You!

"I want to see God, who pulls on the coat of my skin and doesn't leave me alone in this withering body of mortality; I want to see God, who gives gifts in hospitals and gravesides and homeless shelters and refugee camps and in rain falling on sunflowers and stars falling over hayfields and silver scales glinting upriver and sewage flowing downriver. Eucharisteo is everywhere and I want to see eucharisteo everywhere and I want to remember how badly I really want to see.
Here. How could I have forgotten how badly I wanted this?
To bow down and rightly worship.
It is still, stalk still." (p. 111)

Oh, Lord, let me be still.

"Be still, {cease striving} and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

After a long hiatus, I'm linking up with: and for the first time with Shanda and also with Laura:

Date Night: 30 Ideas for Dating Your Spouse

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

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Have you planned a date night with your spouse yet? In case you're having a little trouble coming up with some ideas, here are 30 date night ideas for you and your spouse!

Hopefully these will help you start brainstorming and hopefully motivate you to actually plan and go on a date with your mate!

Take a drive -- head out to the country or into the city or just explore a new neighborhood. While you drive, play your spouse's favorite music or daydream together. Get lost on purpose and forget about the time. Just enjoy each other's company!
Pull out your old photos and talk about old memories. From your childhood, from when you were dating, whatever the occasion, remember it together.
Camp out -- get cozy in the woods or just set up a tent in the backyard. It's different, it's dark, and you can make it romantic!
Games in the coffee the shop -- take a favorite board game or a deck of cards to the local coffee shop and sip coffee while hanging out playing games together!
Learn something -- check the paper and local listings to see what authors, speakers, musicians, professors, etc. are speaking around town. You can often find free lectures or workshops at local library, book stores, churches, societies, or park districts. Even if it ends up to be a boring topic, you can pass love notes or play footsies under the table! Nothing like junior high flirting to turn on the butterflies!
Take a Class -- cooking classes, music lessons, language tutoring, ballroom dancing, personal training, self-defense ... the list really is endless! Pick something both of you enjoy, or choose a class in which your spouse has an interest! You might come to love the topic, too, but even if you don't, what a great way to say, "I love you." (Just make sure you go with a good attitude!)
Cook Together -- pick a recipe/food you have both always wanted to try. Cook it together and invite a friend or two over to critique ... or just enjoy a quiet, candle-lit dinner for two!
Take a train ride to the city or visit a neighborhood you've never explored! Take pictures and pick out a few souvenirs to bring home.
What's in the Cart? -- Head to the grocery store and split up, with the instructions to pick out two different foods from each food group. Buy whatever is in the cart, and together create a new, "unique" meal!
Recreate your first date together.
Book Store -- Spend time picking out and sharing each others' favorite books from childhood or all-time most meaningful books, or find a new one to read together! It can be something about which you'd both like to learn, something that makes you laugh, or a book you wouldn't normally buy but could help spice things up a bit, if you know what I mean (wink, wink)!
Go to a high school or local college's sporting event. Cheer with the crowd!
Volunteer -- Go serve together! Whether it's the local homeless shelter, food pantry, or save-a-pet, go together and spend time blessing others!
Go to the Park -- Spend an hour at the park without the kids! Swing on the swings, slide down the slides, spin on the merry-go-round, or play a game of tag! Run and play and laugh together!
Build a fire in the fireplace and camp out in the living room! Listen to an audiobook, make s'mores, or just spend time in conversation.
Go swimming in the middle of the night!
Turn off the lights, light the candles, and shower together.
Stroll through the mall and window shop. Pick out clothes for each other (maybe something you never thought you'd try?). Try on clothes and take pictures wearing your favorite outfits. {Might give you future gift ideas!} or test out new colognes and perfumes.
Watch a sunrise or sunset together.
Start a puzzle!
Go fly a kite!
Build a snowman, rake the leaves and jump in the pile, splash in the puddles -- each season offers something fun in the ordinary or every day!
Take a tour -- a museum, a candy shop, a winery or brewery, a manufacturing plant. Check out http://factorytoursusa.com/ for ideas.
Stargaze.
Play name that tune! Pick out favorite music from childhood until present and see how well you can name each others' faves!
Challenge each other on the green -- depending on your skill or experience, play a round of golf, visit the driving range, or compete on the put-put course!
Take a trip to an amusement park -- a fair, a carnival, Great America! Hold hands and scream on the rides!
Visit open houses, pretending like you're in the market for a new home! Dream together!
Go bowling. Add a little laughter by assigning an activity related to the number of pins you knock down. For example:

Only knock down one pin? The bowler has to do the chicken dance one time through.
2 pins? Give your date a hand massage.
Knock down 5 -- KISS!
Get a strike? Your date has to yell into the crowd, "______ is my _____, and I LOVE her/him to pieces!!!"

Visit a nursing home. Sit and talk with older folks and ask them to share their stories of love and life.

The lists of date ideas really are endless. Oftentimes, it just takes a little thought and planning on our parts. If we want to date our spouse, we must be intentional. (Click to tweet this.) Put something on the calendar today!

What other date night ideas do YOU have?

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This post has been in my "drafts" folder for nearly a year! Thanks to the Date Night Challenge, however, I thought I'd pull it out, dust it off, and finally publish it! I love that the Date Night Challenge is working hard to help couples invest in their relationships. If you haven't checked out their website yet, click on over. There are quizzes, date night ideas, even an app for your smart phone! You can also "like" the Date Night Challenge on Facebook. In addition to great reminders, advice, resources, and links, they are having photo contests where you can upload a picture of you and your Love on a date and win great prizes!

Date Night Challenge Chicago is also sponsoring another great giveaway here at More Time With Our Kids -- a $25 Lou Malnati's gift card!!

To Enter {mandatory}:

Leave a comment telling us about one of your favorite dates or sharing a date night idea.

For Extra Entries {leave one comment for each thing you do}:

Commit to going on at least one date between February 6 and March 11 and register for the Date Night Challenge. (You don't need to live in Chicago to take the Date Night Challenge.)
"Like" the Date Night Challenge on Facebook.
Follow the Date Night Challenge on twitter.
Share about this giveaway and the Date Night Challenge on Facebook or twitter and include a link back to THIS post. To tweet about this giveaway, click here!

That's 5 different ways to win!

{This contest is open to US residents only -- so sorry to my international friends!}

This giveaway will close on Thursday, February 16 at 9pm CST.

Check back here Friday morning to see who won!

Are You a Fan or a Follower?

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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In the few moments I had between Kids' Praise and busy kids, I heard an interview on Christian radio that really caught my attention.

Kyle Idleman, teaching minister at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky was being interviewed about the question: Are you a fan or a follower of Jesus Christ?

Maybe it's because "Tebow fever" is still in the air or maybe it's because we've just completed another Superbowl season, but the question stuck with me.

I began to think about some of the differences between a fan and a follower:

A fan is a enthusiastic, jumping on the bandwagon and cheering when things are great. A follower doesn't waver. She sticks close, even when the outcome doesn't look favorable.
A fan knows about someone. A follower knows someone.
A fan loves the fun, but a follower is willing to work.

For a lot of people, it's easy to jump on the "Jesus bandwagon" -- to go to church and participate in events, to say the right things around the right people and act the part when others are looking, but when the rubber meets the road and life gets hard or popular opinion turns against us, do we stick with Him?

Idleman pointed out that a fan is close enough to be associated with Jesus, but not close enough that it requires something of me. Is this where so many of us hold back?

When it comes time to do something, to speak up or surrender or sacrifice, are we willing? Are we willing to quit sitting on the sidelines cheering and instead jump into the game, even if it means getting bloodied and bruised?

I have often been struck by Jesus' words in Matthew 7, a passage that Idleman also referenced. Upon first reading it, Jesus words seem harsh and rough, but isn't He here drawing that same distinction between fan and follower?

"Knowing the correct password--saying 'Master, Master,' for instance--isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience--doing what my Father wills. I can see it now--at the Final Judgement thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.' (Matthew 7:21-23, the Message)

The New International Version translates verse 23 as saying, "I never knew you!"

"True knowing comes down to the relationship where Jesus is what matters most" (Kyle Idleman). A fan knows about Jesus. A follower knows Him.

So how do you know if you are a fan or a follower?

I'm guest posting over at Keeping Personal today!

Read the rest there.

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter 5}: The Glasses We Wear

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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"Awakening to joy awakens to pain.

Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living. Pages of the gratitude journal fill endlessly. Yet I know it in the vein and the visceral: life is loss. Every day, the gnawing ...

What will I lose? ...

When will I lose? ...

Who will I lose? And that's definite: I will lose every single person I have ever loved. Either abruptly or eventually. All human relationships end in loss. Am I prepared for that?

Every step I take forward in my life is a loss of something in my life and I live the waiting: How and of what will I be emptied today?" (p. 84-85)

The fear grips,
it tempts,
it threatens to paralyze.

I feel the ache,

the soul-struggle,

the gut-wrenching questions

of pain and loss and word-defying grief.

So many vivid moments wondering, living: what, when, who?

Do I trust that God is bigger than my pain? Do I believe that He. is. good?

Do I trust that He gives these gifts at just the right time, and He takes these gifts at just the right time?
And though I might not see it, isn't the taking, just like the giving: a gift in itself?

Can I see that?

The only thing that sharpens my vision and allows me to see is wearing the right prescription.
I must put on the lenses.
Look through them.
Not peek out under the rims or take them off to rest my eyes:
The moment I stop looking through the glasses, it all becomes blurry and doesn't make sense.

"Every moment is a message from The Word-God who can't stop writing His heart.

But who can read His messages?

...

To read His message in moments, I'll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word, to read His writing in the world. Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know. I know.' The passion on the page is a Person, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and knows the pain." (p. 86-87)

I can honestly say that I love the Word of God, and I don't know who I would be, where I would be apart from God's life-giving Truth.

I cling to the Word -- the living Word and the written Word.
It is only through the lens of Truth that the world comes into focus.
It takes work and discipline,
practice and habit
but it's the only way I can see.

The only way to calm the fears is to memorize and mediate on the Bible,
to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5);
for He will keep in perfect peace (s)he whose mind is steadfast because (s)he trusts in Him (Is. 26:3)!

The only way to really see is to look through the lens of the Word!

What shape are your "glasses" in? Are you wearing them? Are yours on but smudged with fingerprints obscuring the vision? What is one thing you can do today to change your vision?

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An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

Sunday Scriptures: Do it ALL in Love

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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{To print this as an 8x10, visit Joy's Hope!}

Date Night, Date WHAT?! {and a giveaway!}

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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Show of hands: how many of you have been on a date with your husband in the past month?

Anyone? Anyone?
{Wait, am I the only one not raising my hand?}

Seems like it's been confession time lately on the blog, and here's one more for you:
I can't remember the last time my husband and I went out on a date.

There. I said it.

You know how it goes, money's tight, life is busy, babysitters are scarce ... and well, I'm just plain tired! But even though I have a million excuses, they are just that -- excuses, and I'm ashamed to admit how low of a priority dating each other has been in our marriage! To be brutally honest, I haven't made us a priority. Even when we're home, I'm distracted, busy, trying to get just one more thing done. That needs to change.

Disclaimer: I don't think date nights are the linchpin of a thriving marriage. {Agree? Disagree?}
However, I do think that date nights in a marriage are important!

When a million things beckon for our attention, it's a time to slip away, relax, and have fun!
Date nights can provide an opportunity to talk without many of the day to day distractions and responsibilities.
Date nights give us shared, common experiences -- something to talk about, laugh about, remember together.
They provide an opportunity to reconnect in a way that's different from our everyday routines.
Date nights can communicate a priority -- we're choosing time with our spouses over anything else!

Date nights are important!

Though my husband and I have failed at this in the past, I want to make date nights a priority for us, and I am super excited to share about a challenge that is motivating couples to strengthen their relationships by dating each other again.

Friends, meet the Date Night Challenge. The goal of the challenge is to encourage people to carve out time in their busy schedules and really spend time with the people that matter most. This challenge is a catalyst to helping marriages grow!

We're going to spend the next few weeks talking about dating in marriage: what hinders and helps us date one another, ideas for date nights, and how to make the actual date extra special. Each week we will have a great giveaway, too. Trust me, you won't want to miss it! If you haven't already subscribed to this blog, you can subscribe here by e-mail or RSS.

But I want YOUR input!

What are your thoughts on dating in marriage?
When was the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? If it's been a while, why? If it's a priority for you, what are some obstacles you've had to overcome to make it happen?

I'll be throwing out some more questions on twitter and Facebook, and I'd LOVE to know your thoughts! If you're not already following me there, here are the links to follow me on twitter and to be friends on Facebook. Don't forget to watch for more questions ... and answer!

And to kick things off, the Date Night Challenge Chicago team is giving away a set of TWO books:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

To Enter {mandatory}:

Leave a comment answering one of the questions above.

For Extra Entries {leave one comment for each thing you do}:

Commit to going on at least one date between February 6 and March 11 and register for the Date Night Challenge. (You don't need to live in Chicago to take the Date Night Challenge, and they have a really cool app to help with all of your date night needs! Ok, well, maybe not all of your date night needs, but you get the idea!)
"Like" the Date Night Challenge on Facebook.
Follow the Date Night Challenge on twitter.
Share about this giveaway and the Date Night Challenge on Facebook or twitter and include a link back to THIS post.

That's 5 different ways to win!

{This contest is open to US residents only -- so sorry to my international friends!}

~~This giveaway will close on Thursday, February 9 at 9pm CST.~~

Check back here Friday morning to see who won!

This giveaway is now closed!

Is a Bad Decision Better than No Decision?

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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A few weeks ago, I read Boundaries with Kids and was struck by the wealth of information contained in the book. {I rented it from the library, but because I wanted to underline just about every page, I've decided that it needs to be put on my wish list so I can refer back to it whenever I want!}

One sentence, in particular, however, has been rattling around in my brain and poking my heart. Perhaps it's because I have battled fear of failure or maybe because I've had to make a lot of decisions lately, but these words shook me up a bit, and I'm wondering what your thoughts are. I marked the specific sentence in bold but wanted to also include a little context for you as well:

"The passive stance isn't a virtue, but a failing. Evil grows in the absence of active limits. The passive person is an unwitting ally of evil by not resisting it. The Devil waits for opportunities, which passive people provide him with their passivity (Ephesians 4:27). God isn't pleased with the person who shrinks back (hebrews 10:38). In the parable of the talents, the master was angry with the servant who was afraid and didn't' invest his talent (Matthew 25:24-28). Don't, however, confuse passivity with patience, which is a positive trait, namely, restraining our impulse to do God's job for him (James 5:8).

The message of the Bible concerning activity and passivity is, as the Marines say, 'A bad decision is better than no decision.'"

Care to share? What are your thoughts and reactions? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter 4}: Enough Time

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:49:00 +0000

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"They say time is money, but that's not true. Time is life. And if I want the fullest life, I need to find fullest time ... God gives us time. And who has time for God? Which makes no sense." (p. 64)

This morning I faced the same temptation that has pestered me for years: Spend time with the Lord or jump into my to-do list, taking advantage of the few minutes of peace before the day erupted with busyness?

I wish I could say it was a no-brainer.
Some days it's like that,
but not today.

The allure of productivity tugged hard, and being still required effort.

Though on some mornings the choice is harder than others, I learned long ago that jumping onto the hamster wheel only leaves me exhausted, not exhilarated, when I haven't first 'warmed-up' in the presence of the Lord.

If I don't slow down from the get-go,
stilling my heart
staying my mind on Him,
surrendering my plans,
I run in vain, too distracted by the rabbit-trails and foxholes to remain on the right path.
I hurry in the wrong direction or get stuck in the mire of the unimportant.

Busy, busy, busy, but am I busy doing what He's called me to do?

"Look at the remains of a morning and it's obvious I'm craving it deep: more time to manage just the life I already have. The work, the kids, the meals, the laundry, the ministry, a life so full it can seem empty. And then, on top of all that, who has time to take on yet one more thing and keep a gratitude journal, count gifts? Who has time to tally up one thousand of them? Can our time-crammed lives handle yet one more thing?" (p. 63)

I'm left to evaluate: what are the things I'm busy doing? Am I engaging in the plans He has for me?

I think it takes more time to stop and pray or to begin my day with Him, but if I spend so much time racing in the wrong direction, how much more time have I lost, hurried and harried over that which is waste?

After all, if He's the One who created time and holds it in His hands, isn't He able to add and multiply the moments when I give them back to Him? Isn't He able to direct my paths when I commit them to Him?

I must slow down to listen.
Slow down to hear
and see
and not miss what He has for me,
right here,
right now.

"I speak it to God: I don't really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done -- yesterday. ... I just want time to do my one life well." (p. 67-68)

But it takes a choice,

on my part.

It takes practice and discipline and intentionality.

Am I willing to slow down?

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing. ... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away." (Mark Buchanan, The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Your Sabbath as quoted on page 65-66)

"Days flood torrential -- but full attention slows the current. Don't I always have the choice to be fully attentive? Simplicity is ultimately a matter of focus. Eucharisteo, eucharisteo. That keeps the focus simple -- sacred." (p. 77)

Let's make the choice to start our days well.

And when life crowds busy and you can't catch your breath, slow down.
Stop
and give thanks,
over and over again until you feel your heart stop racing and your breath even out.

In each moment,
stop,
see
and give thanks.

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Would you like to read along with us? Subscribe by e-mail or RSS.

An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

Sunday Scripture: Without Faith {Hebrews 11:6}

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:31:00 +0000

Praying that whatever decision you need to make or wherever you find your journey leading, you are walking. by. faith.

One of my very best friends, Sarah, designed this verse card. She has a passion for the Word of God, and these designs come out of her own desire to be memorizing and meditating on Truth. When I asked her if she'd be willing to share these designs with you, she eagerly agreed! I am continually blessed by her and pray that through these Scripture cards, you will be too!

If you'd like to print this Scripture memory card as a 4x6 reminder, click here.

Want to journey together?

When You Need to Make a Decision

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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The past few months have been filled with decisions for our family.

More than just the question of cereal or yogurt for breakfast
or
will I drive route A or route B?

These have been repercussion-bearing choices.
Choices that impact our children, our marriage, our ministry.
Some of the choices, though seemingly small(er) to others, really do determine the path our family travels, the goals we've set, and the life we've been called to live.

These have been big decisions, and each has been drenched in prayer.

But it's been hard! I wrestled with the Lord over pros and cons, emotions and questions, doubts and dreams. With each decision, I spent so much time fretting over the "right" thing to do -- hoping for a lightning strike from the Lord or at least a perfectly clear road map to point me in the right direction.

In all my worrying, though, I forgot the simple, but profound truth that "without faith it is impossible to please God."

If I had a lighting strike or an atlas that revealed God's superhighway, I wouldn't be walking by faith, and if I'm not walking by faith, am I really pleasing the Lord?

As I soaked in the Word, He reminded me of truth long ago hidden in my heart:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"How gracious He will be when you call for help. As soon as He hears, He will answer" (Isaiah 30:19).

I don't know what decisions you face as we begin this new year, but if you are at all like me: so desiring to do the right thing but afraid you might make a mistake, might I gently remind you that our God is not a God of confusion, nor does He try to hide His will from us.

Spend time in the Word and in prayer, claim and pray truth. Seek godly counsel. Don't rush, but don't drag your feet. Listen to Him, then act.

Walk by faith.
It pleases Him.

And will you remind me of this along the way? O how we need to be "encouraging one another daily" (Hebrews 3:13)! I'm praying that today, you are encouraged to walk more closely with Him, depending on Him for each step that you take.

Are you currently in the middle of any decisions? How can we pray for you?

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter 3}: Unwrapping the Gifts

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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I don't like opening presents at a party or in front of a crowd.

I feel vulnerable and insecure--

all those eyes resting on me, waiting for my reaction,

trying to gauge the reception,

wondering how the gift will be received.

I feel pressure,

as if a person's satisfaction rests on my response, and I have the power to please or disappoint.

I never want to disappoint.

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It felt trivial, the list I started over a year ago:
writing down little things and posting for the world too see.
Like a show,
like I was trying to prove something.

It's not that I wasn't truly grateful. I was.
I am.
But sometimes the heart sings praises that can't be recorded with words,
and a list left me feeling trapped and a tad bit superficial.

Writing the list here felt like opening presents at a party
and I've finally realized that it's a struggle for me to unwrap these gifts for the first time in front of a crowd.

I've come to understand that it wasn't the list that held me back, it was where I wrote the list.

I was wrong to give up on writing my list. I wish I would've realized it sooner. I've missed seeing, really seeing so many good things...

"This writing it down--it is sort of like ... unwrapping love." (p. 45)

I've neglected to see so many evidences of His love.

Writing this list takes time and intentionality. It is more than just casually noticing. Recording these gifts is being purposeful about the receiving and the recognizing. It is a new way of seeing the gifts and keeping a record of His goodness to me.

"wasn't my writing down the list like ... receiving. Like taking with thanks." (p. 46)

Writing this list is a way of saying "thank you" to Him!

And when the writing feels trivial, seems a little bit trite, I have to remind myself that this is a new habit that I am engraining. I am practicing and preparing: cutting the grooves in a road of thankfulness so that when it's hard, when I can't see the path, the way is already dug deep, ready for me to fall into it.

"Practice is the hardest part of learning, and training is the essence of transformation" (p. 56)

I want to be transformed; I want to enter into His joy! I want to see and celebrate all of the gifts He gives so abundantly. I don't want to miss even one.

I will write this list.
In the little and the big,
keeping a record of God's goodness,
writing a praise song back to Him:
seeing and recognizing,
receiving and welcoming,
proclaiming.

"Slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything in my life leaves me deeply thankful for very few things in my life...life changing gratitude does not fasten to a life unless nailed through with one very specific nail at a time. Little nails and a steady hammer can rebuild a life -- eucharisteo precedes the miracle" (p. 57-58).

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An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts
One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

Sunday Scripture: Waiting in Hope

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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Praying that as you wait, your Hope will make you glad.
Be patient and never. stop. praying!

My 2012 Book List -- {Kind of}

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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I have been working on my 2012 book list since mid-December. You know, all of the books I just have to read. Far too quickly, however, my book list ran off the page and became quite overwhelming! I joked that if I added up all of the time it would take me to finish my list, I'd make it clear into 2016!

I enjoy reading, but with the hectic pace of motherhood, work, managing a household, and blogging, it, unfortunately, often gets dropped off the to-do list or I get stuck in a rut, reading only the things I feel that I need to read right at. that. moment.

If I'm struggling with discipline, my eyes are glued to the pages of a parenting book.
If my husband and I aren't communicating as well as we should, my nose is stuck in a marriage book.

You get the idea.

I began assembling a 2012 reading list to help me branch out a little and read other types of books, in addition to the ones I need.

Also, people are often giving me book recommendations. I don't want to forget or neglect some of them, but if I don't plan to read them, I won't.

Consequently, I wrote a list that I thought I finished.
But after adding to it more than 10 times, I decided that maybe this will be a continual work in progress! After all, there will always be more books that sneak in and peak my interest!

I was also convicted, however, by a quote I came across quite a few years ago:

"Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon."

(Alexander Pope)

I don't want to rush through so many books in an attempt to meet my goal or check off my list that I miss what I really should be learning! I don't want to miss out on learning and growing in my understanding because I am pushing so hard or moving too quickly!

I want to grow.
I learn so much through reading.
I want to be intentional in the time I spend reading and in the books I choose.
I want to leave flexibility in my reading choices and the pace in which I am working through each.
I want to leave room for growth.
That is more important to me than having a long list of books read.

As a result, I'm only sharing part of my list with you, BUT I will continue to update you throughout the year with books I'm reading. Of course, I'm always open to new suggestions, too! :-)

Books I've already completed:

Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood (by Jamie C. Marten): I really enjoyed this book. It is easy to read but full of great advice and ideas on how to really live intentionally as a mom.
Sisterchicks on the Loose (by Robin Jones Gunn): I haven't read a ton of fiction lately, so I thought I'd ease myself in with some fun, easy reads. Because I would really like to learn more about friendship this year and what it means to be a good friend, I thought the Sisterchick books would be a fun place to start. They didn't disappoint. Light, quick reads, but with both, I had a small, spiritual takeaway to tuck in my heart.
Sisterchicks Do the Hula (by Robin Jones Gunn)
Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality (by Donald Miller): This one has been around a long time, and I finally picked it up to read it!
Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children (by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend): I can not recommend this book enough. Not only is this book extremely helpful for parenting, it helped pinpoint areas I need to work on in myself and my other relationships. Excellent!
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (by Betty Smith): So apparently this is a classic, but I was unfamiliar with it. {Anyone else?} I really enjoyed this book. The depth of character, Smith's writing style, the lack of sugarcoating on the realities of life -- I loved it. I was sad when this one ended.

Books I'm currently reading:

Educating the WholeHearted Child (by Clay and Sally Clarkson)
The Resolution for Women (by Priscilla Shirer)
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time (by Brian Tracy)
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are (by Ann Voskamp): This is my second time through, and it's worth it! {Have you joined our read-along yet?}
and I'm next on the library's wait list for The Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins)!

Do you have a 2012 reading list? What are you currently reading?

{Links in this post are affiliate links. Purchasing a book through one of these links, helps support my reading addiction!}

To Be Enthusiastic--

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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Some mornings I'm in a funk,
and I don't want to get out of bed.
Or if I'm out of bed, I don't want to get off the couch, or get breakfast started, or even put a smile on my face.

I don't want to face the day with enthusiasm.
The shameful truth is that more often than I'd like to admit, I'm driven by my emotions.
How I'm feeling dictates my actions, my choices, my life!
Have you ever felt that way?

My grandpa used to always remind us, "To be enthusiastic, you have to act enthusiastic!" He knew that we wouldn't always feel like choosing joy. We wouldn't always feel like being thankful. Many times, we wouldn't want to do the things that we need to do.

In those times, however, we must take action anyway ... and move with enthusiasm.

Once I get my mopey self out of bed or off the couch and choose to change my attitude -- once I choose enthusiasm and joy, I have it. It's there. The course of my whole day is changed!

It's not trying to do it, it's choosing to do.

Usually, it's not that I can't, it's that I don't want to.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength.
Lean on HIM for strength.
Choose joy!
If it doesn't change your life, it will at least change your day!

"To be enthusiastic, you have to act enthusiastic."
Let's choose to act with enthusiasm today.

Are you with me?

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter 2}: When You Want the Fullest Life

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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"I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. ... Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough?" (p. 27)

And haven't we felt this, too? The empty that comes when we're panting, stumbling, trying to compete in this rat race of life. In the busy and tired, have you ever asked: Will my life count for something that matters?

Carrying these questions and holding the hurt, I'm swept up in Ann's words, in her seeing. In the longing and the ache for beauty and grandeur and to live a life full of joy even amidst the pain.

But honestly, this chapter stings. Does it for you, too?

I don't want the time wasted, walking through the motions, to be my fault. How often I've wanted to turn my back and blame someone else. Blame Him. To avoid the pain and numb the loss and keep. going. through. the motions.

But then there are those moments: doing, hearing, being, that awakens those senses and reminds me that there is more. This, here, is just a whisper of another world, but even here, there is fullness of life.

I want that fullness.

Am I willing to look hard at my bruised soul and calloused heart and admit the part I played? My noneucharistic life, my discontent, ingratitude, ungratefulness? It is a bitter pill to swallow, but isn't it true? More than I'd like to admit, I truly have been one "who is born again but still so much in need of being born anew" (p. 29).

"Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo--the table of thanksgiving. I sit there long ... wondering ... is it that simple? Is the height of my chara joy dependent on the depths of my eucharisteo thanks?

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible. Whenever, meaning -- now; wherever, meaning--here" (p. 32-33).

Joy is always possible. What hope!

"Thanksgiving--giving thanks in everything--prepares the way that God might show us His fullest salvation in Christ. The act of sacrificing thank offerings to God--even for the bread and cup of cost, for cancer and crucifixion--this prepares the way for God to show us His fullest salvation from bitter, angry, resentful lives and from all sin that estranges us from Him. At the Eucharist, Christ breaks His heart to heal ours--" (p. 40).

Full salvation, complete wholeness, full life! Yes, Lord, yes!

If we are serious, if we really are longing for our soul-holes to be healed, we must take everything in our lives and return it to Jesus, thanking Him, thanking Him, thanking Him (p.40).

"What precedes the miracle is thanksgiving, eucharisteo, and it is a Greek word with a hard meaning that is harder yet to live. Do I really want to take up this word?" (p. 37)

Do you?
Are we willing?

What keeps us, what is keeping you, from giving thanks in all circumstances? Is there a specific situation you are having a hard time accepting, with thanks, seeing it as a gift from a good God? How can we pray for you?

{And if you need a little help looking up, please don't miss this post.}

-------------------------------------------

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An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts
One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

Sunday Scripture: In it's Time

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

The year of waiting--

Source: ppplifestyle.blogspot.com via Erika on Pinterest

If You're Having a Hard time Looking Up

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:46:00 +0000

If, right now, you're having a hard time lifting your eyes off of your circumstances, out of your emotions, and away from yourself, please watch this:

May it soften your heart to tears and call you to worship!

It is a little long, but it is soooo worth it!

Subscribers, click here. You don't want to miss this one.

How great is our God!

Perfectionism

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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I have written this beginning no less than 7 times.

The words have weighed on my heart and rattled around in my brain, but for some reason, they just don’t want to sit on this screen and communicate my heart.

You see, I’m a perfectionist. At least, that’s what I always thought.

‘Perfectionism’ has been my excuse. It became my scapegoat long ago, giving me a defense, a pardon, for my scrutiny and toiling, my procrastination and avoidance. When I lacked inspiration and just. couldn't. get. it. right, perfectionism wore the blame.

...if I couldn’t do it well, I didn’t do it at all.

After all, shouldn’t a perfectionist deliver stunning results? Have something to show for all of that time spent planning, preparing, practicing, producing? In that wastebasket full of wadded up efforts, shouldn’t there be at least one bestseller, a master-piece of me?

It’s not that I’ve wanted to be perfect -- I’ve always known that what I do … who I am … is far from perfect. It hasn’t even been about being the best.

I think what I have finally come to realize, is that perfectionism, at least for me, is far more about significance and meaning. I want to do something that matters.

Something that matters!

I want my life, my efforts, all of me to count for something.

Do you ever feel that way?

I'm hanging out at Keeping it Personal today. Click on over to read the rest there.

I Can, I Just Don't Want To

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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I remember so vividly the day I stood there, exhausted and spent. The piles of laundry heaped on the couch reminded me of how many more tasks my to-do list recorded. "I just can't do it," I repeated in my head, over and over again.

I was ready to throw in the towel,
and I crumbled.

A blubbering mess I cried out to Him, "I just can't do one more thing!"
I was tired and overwhelmed and feeling defeated.

But in that tender way, so familiar to me in times of brokenness or discouragement, He reminded me of the truth: I can do it.

In my weakness, He is strong, and I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength.

Yes, I was tired.
Yes, I had too much on my plate in that season.
Yes, our family was walking through a rough patch,
but the real reason behind my breakdown was the lie I bought into:
"I shouldn't have to do it all."
"I need a break."
"I deserve some help around here."

I, I, I, I, I.

I was only thinking about me, and by saying, "I can't," over and over again, I convinced myself that I really couldn't do one. more. thing.

But I was wrong.

God gently reminded me that I can, I just don't want to.
I wanted someone to do it for me.
I didn't want all of the responsibility and obligation.
I didn't want to "have" to do anything.
I wanted my equally exhausted husband to pick up the slack and do what I could do.
I could, I just didn't want to.

I confessed my weakness, and I turned to Him.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
I can do one more thing
when HE is my strength.

Have you ever needed a change in perspective like I did? In what areas have you been telling yourself, "I can't," that might actually be, "I just don't want to"? Are you facing any weaknesses you can surrender to the Lord and instead trust Him to be your strength?

One Thousand Gifts {chapter 1}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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"Really, when you bury a child -- or when you just simply get up every day and live life raw -- you murmur the question soundlessly. No one hears. Can there be a good God? A God who graces with good gifts when a crib lies empty through long nights, and bugs burrow through coffins? Where is God, really? How can He be good when babies die, and marriages implode, and dreams blow away, dust in the wind? Where is grace bestowed when cancer gnaws and loneliness aches and nameless places in us soundlessly die, break off without reason, erode away. Where hides this joy of the Lord, this God who fills the earth with good things, and how do I fully live when life is full of hurt? How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?" (One Thousand Gifts p. 11-12)

There is so much in this chapter that I wanted to quote, to talk about, to hear your heart's response.

Reading those first three pages again reminded me exactly why I wanted to take this journey with you.

Isn't this the question so many of us have asked?

When we're tossed about through the storms of life, and we can't see the shore--

when the story we're living isn't the one we would have written--

when things just don't make sense and the broken places ache with why,

don't we wonder?

Though we might be afraid to ever voice the words, doesn't our heart whisper and our mind sneer, "If God really loved you..."

"If He really is good..."

"Though I can hardly whisper it, I live as though He stole what I consider rightly mine...Now everywhere we look, we only see all that isn't: holes, lack, deficiency." (p. 14, 16)

As I look back at my life, I am ashamed to admit how many times this was the truth lingering behind my hurt. Though the Bible said it, "God is good," and though my head knew it, my heart had a really hard time believing it.

I so wanted to live the "yes," to hold my hands open, freely receiving whatever God gave, but like Ann, I, too, lived with clenched fists. Oh, what grace and glory and life I missed as the tantrum of my heart cried "No!" to Him!

Have you ever felt this same way, wondering if God really is good? What are some of the things you blamed God for stealing from you? Have you ever admitted it to Him? Where are you in this struggle today?

------------------------------------

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An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts
One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

Sunday Scripture: Always Have Hope

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

"Those who do not hope cannot wait."

(Charles Spurgeon)

Source: etsy.com via Erika on Pinterest

An Invitation

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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The good and bad thing about writing a blog is accountability -- you have to do what you said you're going to do, or at least admit when you don't.

In the month since writing this post, I kind of hoped that I could slip by unnoticed and maybe not really go through with the commitment. I waited to begin re-reading the book, and I didn't write any posts ahead of time. I wanted to read it again with you, responding with fresh eyes and an open heart. I didn't want to pre-plan what would be written. This is community -- giving and responding and opening up together.

In the waiting, I lost my courage. I worry now, as I did then, what I could possibly add. I so want you to read this book, but who am I to walk us through it?

But there were a few people who read that post and spread the word and reminded me more than once that this is a journey worth taking.

So let's walk together.
I'm not the leader. God is.
I'm simply holding out my hands, that we might link arms and journey together.

Would you like to read along with us? Subscribe by e-mail or RSS.

An Invitation

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter One}: What Our Hearts Really Wonder

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Two}: When You Want the Fullest Life

One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Three}: Unwrapping the Gifts
One Thousand Gifts {Chapter Four}: Enough Time

2012: The Year of Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

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For the second time in my life, I chose a word name for the year ... or maybe the word chose me.

I hadn't planned to label the year, but these past few months, He has spoken and reminded and confirmed that this year, 2012, is to be a year of waiting.

I have spent so much of my life planning, preparing, and pursuing -- sometimes it seems all I know how to do. But as I've slowed down this winter, God has gently shown me that often times, it is fear that drives my pursuit.

This past year, there is much that the Lord put on my heart -- ideas and dreams and possibilities.
Through times of pressure and trial and adversity, He allowed me to hope again. I had felt hope waning, assumed it hidden, even feared it lost at times, but He has restored my hope.

And in restoring my hope, He has prepared me to wait.

More than ever, this will be a year of not rushing into anything,
not making decisions because it feels right,
not doing something because it's what I should be doing.
This is a year of waiting on the Lord, abiding deeply in Him.

This is a year of sending roots down deep, secure, steadfast, and steady.
I will be planted in Him,
waiting for Him to speak, to lead, to guide --
and I will walk by faith.

I will not rush ahead. I will wait for Him.

"Those who do not hope cannot wait."

Charles Spurgeon

Yes, this is my year of waiting.

Without that struggle, that fight, that year restoring hope, I would not be ready for this year that lies ahead, this year of waiting.

I don't know what is in store. I am frightened and excited all at the same time, but I trust Him.
I. trust. Him.
and maybe for the first real time in my life, I'm ready to wait.

Linking up with the One Word Community,

The Tuckers Take Tennessee,

God Speaks Today,
and Spiritual Sundays.

Subscribe by e-mail or RSS and join us next Monday as we begin our journey together through One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp!

Where I am with Writing -- a confession of sorts

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:10:00 +0000

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In fear and trepidation, I am sitting down to write this. My insecurity swells as uncertainties run through my mind.

I took a few months off of blogging and writing and social media and the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I didn't brainstorm future post ideas. I didn't prepare posts ahead of time. I didn't even journal.

I simply hunkered down and rested.
I rested from that which was exhausting me, chasing me, making me run,
and I focused.
I got back to the basics and did life
and tried to regain the balance I had somewhere lost along the way.

I feasted in the Word and great writing, nourishing my soul and fueling my brain
and I fasted from that which was draining the wonder and stealing my joy.

And though avoidance tends to be my common escape,
I can't shake the prodding, the prompting, His still, small voice urging me to get back and start writing again.

But I'm afraid.
I don't have a "plan" or a back up or ideas tucked neatly away.
I have nothing.
Just me.
Just now.
Just what He's putting on my heart.

I can't promise I'll be consistent these first few months back --
the frequency of my posting may change and the topics might ping pong around,
but I'll write.

Mostly, it scares the socks off of me that you're here, reading, critiquing, judging? what I write.
I'm insecure.
-- afraid to even admit that word: insecure.

I desperately want to "have it all together" -- to write from a place of finally having figured "it" out.
But I don't think I'll ever get there.
I have been on a journey -- God is turning my fear into faith -- but I know that I have a long way to go.

I so desire community here in this place -- I desire real-ness and grace and a holding of hands as we all struggle through. I'm just not quite sure how to get there,
but I am trusting that HE will do it, in HIS time.

I pray for you, daily, that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith, and I pray that you truly will be able to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ -- and that you will know this love that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Here's to the next chapter.

What are we Giving for Christmas?

noreply@blogger.com (Erika) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:11:00 +0000

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

Links for 2011-04-19 [del.icio.us]

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 00:00:00 PDT

Figuring Out the Cross-Centered Life
death. resurrection. Hope.

Links for 2011-04-04 [del.icio.us]

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 00:00:00 PDT

On becoming a warrior-woman
Yes, this kind of woman ...
The best ways *not* to help a new mom
Yes! Want to help a new mom? Read this! :)

Links for 2011-03-31 [del.icio.us]

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 00:00:00 PDT

That Mom
I am not 'that mom' and it's okay! :) Loved this one!

Links for 2011-03-26 [del.icio.us]

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 00:00:00 PDT

What it is - Finis
Oh the sacrifice! What a debt we owe to our servicemen and their families. Don't miss this one.
On Our Children being art
yes ... our greatest creation. How are you seeing?

Links for 2011-03-22 [del.icio.us]

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:00:00 PDT

Velveteen Heart
About authenticity ... BEAUTIFULLY written. My heart.

Links for 2011-03-19 [del.icio.us]

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:00:00 PDT

20 Small Steps to Big Changes: 15 minutes at a Time — Simple Kids
Great ideas for manageable changes to help you create a rhythm and routine for your family!

Links for 2011-03-11 [del.icio.us]

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 00:00:00 PST

Who Love Is
Beautifully written ... and a poignant reminder to me of the type of friend I'm not, but want to be.