Morning After Ministries

How we talk about our bodies...

2015-03-03T15:07:00.000-06:00

Hatred is a strange unifier. People declare that they hate injustice and band together to fight. People can share in hatred of pancakes and bond over those mutual feelings... although, can anyone really hate pancakes?

As women, we live in a society where it has become acceptable to bond over the hatred of our bodies. Women gather together and mourn the things they dislike, even hate, about their appearance. I have a belly, I jiggle, I have ugly feet, my skin isn’t clear, I don’t like my thighs, I have stringy hair; it’s all been said. We can watch movies like “Mean Girls” and listen to those conversations and not be affected by them because they are so integrated into our lives. We would never say these things to other people, so why is it tolerated when we say these things to ourselves? Yes, women will affirm one another in these situations. Usually when one comments on an aspect of their body another reaches out to counter why that belief isn’t true. Women want to show support and love to one another, but why aren’t we challenging these conversations in the first place?

How we speak about ourselves is powerful. The more we vocalize our beliefs about ourselves the more they have the opportunity to solidify in our minds. Keep talking about how unattractive your “belly” is and you will place yourself further and further from being able to embrace your body as it is. When we disassociate from our bodies and perceive them as not being our true bodies, we prevent ourselves from truly being able to nurture ourselves.

Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, what would it be like to acknowledge the things you do like about your body? The perspective on that is usually that one would come off as self-absorbed. I try to imagine what it would be like to hear someone say that they love how beautiful their hair is. I admit that I have been conditioned to roll my eyes at such a comment and think of them as vain. I have fallen into the trap that says that denial of our positives is humility and acknowledgement is arrogance, but these are lies. That paradigm of thinking only leads us to be ashamed of what is good and hyper focus on what we can’t embrace in ourselves.

What if the response to someone affirming themselves was, “YES!!” I know that some people find themselves in a place of not having anything good to say about themselves, but you can begin with anything as small as, “I love the color of my eyes,” or “I like my pinky finger.” Acknowledge your beauty and the beauty of others without fear!

Malia is a Nashville based dietitian with a heart to help people learn to how to nurture themselves. She has a heart for alternative transportation and reducing food waste. Her dream is to ride a tandem bike all over the world.

What is enough?

2014-12-15T13:31:00.000-06:00

Recently I was sick in bed and had the TV tuned to a Christian TV show. The Q&A portion of the show posed this question: “God hasn’t provided for me…I’m really mad at Him. Will I still get into heaven?”

As I lay in bed, the question did not sit well with me. I began to get frustrated thinking of my own circumstance and the circumstances of those around me. And in the midst of the most consumer driven season of the year I began to ask questions about 'provision'. What is it? Have I been provided for? What is enough?

I recently returned from a MAM trip to a Native American reservation in North Dakota, where although the government is giving monthly monies to the families, the children are living without enough food, without gloves or socks. Our host church had its final heater go out while we were there - in an area where last year there were 2 solid months where the temperature did not rise above -10! They can no longer heat the building where they lovingly meet the spiritual needs of this community, feed the hungry and give the youth and the children of Fort Yates somewhere to be.

Then I come home to my middle class neighborhood in Franklin, TN, where I see prosperity in many ways and yet face my reality of not having enough. My neighbors recently had to replace their heating system which has caused stress on their finances. And me, I am a full time volunteer, our bills have gone up $750 in the past 12 months and we are just treading water on our debt. It's hard to think about around Christmas time when I am trying to feel generous and full of holiday cheer.

It is easy for me to become overwhelmed and look around and wish my family had what others do. It is easy to say that we don’t have enough; that we need more. And sometimes, we do. Some months we spend more than we make and just put it on the credit card, because what else are you supposed to do when your heat goes out or your car breaks down?

But then I think of the children in North Dakota. The children all over the world who are starving, have no homes, no education, no parents even. And I am ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I am not satisfied, ashamed that I am jealous, ashamed that I don’t give more. But how can I? How can I give more and do more? When I need to feed my own family, pay off debt and pay bills. How can I do it all? I can do it! I have to cut back. Cut back giving, cut back spending…and I am again lost in ME. And the cycle of frustration is complete. Be conscious of my needs, become stressed and have anxiety about my needs, see the needs of others, be overwhelmed with the enormousness of the need of those around me, feel guilt and shame about my needs, try and find a solution, while finding a solution I become consumed with my needs… and the cycle starts again.

And I am pretty sure I am not alone in this... We are in this cycle because we care about the world around us. We see the need of others. But we see our need and feel hopeless to meet the needs in our families without even trying to make a dent in the needs of the world around us.

I believe our idea of provision is subjective. I see those who have more and think they could never have legitimate needs. And I look at those who have less and feel guilty that I don’t do more to meet their needs. Its all about my perspective. I look at my needs and compare them to the needs of those around me and use this as a scale to validate my spending or my complaining.

The idea that I am not provided for by God is kind of ridiculous when I think that even if I was living in a homeless shelter or a cardboard box on the side of the road, that is provision. Whether I am eating a free meal provided by The Salvation Army or a home cooked, organic meal both are provision. Every time I wake up to a new day on this planet it is provision. It is only my comparing myself to those around me and the provision that they have that keeps me in this guilt/jealousy cycle.

When I choose to ask God to be my provider I can be patient and wait on the needs that I have, I am grateful for all he has given me and I understand that what I don’t have, I don’t need - freeing me being envious of others. When I understand that God provides for each person and that ultimately we are each in the hands of a God who provides, it frees me from the guilt that I feel for acknowledging my needs and any guilt for having the physical gifts that God has given me.

When I see God as both my provider and the provider of those around me, if frees me to be grateful and generous. I no longer give out of obligation and guilt. I give to others not because I think I have to provide for them but because I am so grateful for what has been given to me and I give out of the joy and generosity of knowing that God is providing for others but I can be used by Him to facilitate that provision.

This holiday season, a time where we are pushed to compare ourselves in every area, especially in what we have; a time when we feel guilted into giving to those who have less; a time when we are tempted to be jealous of those who have more - let's remember to place ourselves and those around us in the hands of the One who really is responsible for providing. Let's remember to be happy for those around us who have much and to be generous with those who have little. And most of all, lets remember to be satisfied and grateful for what God has provided for each of us.

Christy Brooks is the founder and director of Morning After Ministries. She is passionate about every person knowing that they are loved, valued and empowered to make positive choices. Christy can often be found curled up on the couch, avoiding the cold, reading the latest young adult dystopian novel while snuggling with her young daughter.

Going Back to North Dakota...

2014-12-10T11:50:00.000-06:00

When we said that we were going back to North Dakota in November most people looked at us like we had told them we were going to the moon. Why would you want to head into one of America's bleakest environments in winter? Simple. MAM left a piece of it's heart in North Dakota in a small town in the middle of Standing Rock Reservation so we didn't have a choice.

It was great to be back in Fort Yates and with a bigger team and a change in our agenda. After our trip in the summer, MAM has felt strongly that we should find ways to support Lance and Line and the young people in the community. This trip was all about exploring our partnership and seeing what support and services MAM might bring while providing some training for adults and programs for the youth and children.

Our Friday was filled with lots of children and young people from the local area - playing games, doing craft, enjoying the snow and some devotions and testimonies to round off the end of the day. Tytus and Jamie, our children's workers, ran some awesome activities for the children building trust and relationship very quickly - it was a joy for the rest of us on team to see them in action. There was an institution quickly established in the shape of foursquare - if ever there was a second of free time over the weekend Lance and all the guys on our team would be playing regardless of whether there were any youth there or not!

MAM also had opportunity on Friday to meet some of the teachers and social workers from Standing Rock Community Middle and High schools to see whether they would be interested in our curriculum for the students. There was a good deal of enthusiasm for what MAM could bring as outsiders to the local community - offering safe space for the young people to discuss their issues. The teachers felt that our lessons might help them gain some purpose and goals to look towards to take their eyes off of their bleak circumstances and give them a reason to keep going when things are difficult. We hope to run a trip back to the schools to run our programs in 2015.

Saturday was a very different day with most of our focus going on training adults in dealing with the many issues that they face on the reservation. With April, who is a licensed counsellor, taking the lead we sessions on suicide prevention, counselling, self harm, addiction, sexual abuse and self care. Meanwhile, Tytus and Jamie ran some great activities for the children to keep them occupied while the adults were learning.

Sunday was a more restful day where we were able to learn a bit more about the church and the reservation. George and Micah led worship at the church service where we joined in celebrating as Macy, one of Line's sunday school group, was baptised. We were all inspired by Pastor Ruger who despite being in his eighties drives 90+ miles to the church and back again every Sunday to lead the service - a very caring and wise man. It was a real privilege for our team to be worshipping among this small group of faithful believers who are holding out Jesus' light in that dark place.

After a whistle stop, very cold, tour of the reservation from Lance we had a great closing meeting with Lance and Line with time to share, worship and pray together. We have all been struck by the depth of relationship we have built with Lance and Line and their lovely family - and we were all so inspired by their relentlessness in loving the children and young people that God has put into their care.

Once again, we found it hard to leave Lance and Line's little sanctuary and all our friends there - it was an extraordinary time of fellowship and learning for all of us. MAM will be back.

The Battle of Beachtowels and Droplets

2014-09-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality-identity crisis or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it’s true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you’re anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn’t even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can’t quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop. Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it’s heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn’t look like yours and it’s uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily - sometimes it’s something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us - but lies all the same. We don’t notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it’s sopping wet.

So how do we keep our towel dry? We need to find our identity in the right place - who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don’t let anyone tell you your past defines you.

We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship... (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is poiēma. This word means ‘work’ or ‘of the works of God as Creator’. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.

We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect - that’s how God see us!

Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn’t let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.

We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.

We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ - we needn’t live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Time for a change

2014-09-22T11:30:00.000-05:00

Most people around me, including myself, seem to be entering a new season of change and transition... Marriages, school changes, babies, major life-changing decisions being made, internships, jobs, relationship changes, you name it, it’s happening all around us.

In the midst of all the change in my own life, I have finally realized that you can't do everything on your own. You can certainly try, but you will not get nearly as far as you will if you have a support system, and rely on God for your strength and wisdom.

This summer I thought I had my life all sewn up. I was in a serious relationship. I was moving to Georgia. I was going to school there at KSU. I had plans for the future. I thought I knew exactly where my life was going but everything was about to change.

For a long time my faith had been wavering, it was shaky and it was on the back burner - I knew that had to change. I made a decision at the beginning of the summer to start praying about all of my big decisions before committing to anything. While some things went overlooked, others I prayed about extensively - my personal relationships, moving, schools, internships, money, and my future. As a Christian, I want to honor God in all areas of my life and so I began speaking with God several times a day everything that was going on (not just the pretty parts!) and life began to change dramatically.

As my relationship with God grew stronger I found my other personal relationships began to weaken. I came to realize that there were things in my life that did not honor God and my relationship with Him. The decisions I had made - to move to Georgia, to attend KSU - were all for the wrong reasons and I had left God out of them. After spending the summer in prayer and petition with the Lord and drawing close to him, nothing was working out with the move, the school, or, worst of all for me, with my relationship. I felt like my world was crashing down around me.

I felt God was calling me to new things and so as hard as it was I made the decision to end that relationship, to stick in Nashville and to change schools and that led to lots of new things. Those decision would never have happened if I didn’t have faith - I had to step out and trust God and he put all of these opportunities in my path. I trusted that when one door closes, God always opens another. And in my case, He opened several. I have started an internship with MAM and I have a new job with flexible hours enabling me to take all these opportunities. I am actually able to graduate with my associate’s degree in Social Work this semester (which I did not believe would be possible). But it doesn’t stop there, I have been introduced to the opportunity to begin my own business that has the potential to provide for me for a good time to come. It also comes with the added blessing of being inspired by so many women who work based on the Golden Rule and ‘God first, family second, and career third’. How awesome is that? I am so blessed.

Although I know the Christian life isn't always as rosy as it is right now, I know the only reason things have worked out so well for me is because I took a leap of faith in the right direction and I am now allowing God to lead my life because I know I cannot do it on my own. I know I cannot make decisions and grow in wisdom without going to my Heavenly Father. At this point, I have no idea what next semester holds for me, and I am not worried about it one bit. I am going to take everything one step at a time, and pray about every decision and make sure everything I do has a purpose.

Bri has been a long standing volunteer and is currently interning with MAM. She is great with kids and always has a smile for you. She likes to go adventuring, smell scented candles and jam out to loud music.

Celebrate Your Selfie… Part 1

2014-09-15T11:23:00.000-05:00

What are you afraid of that makes you jump back or even cry? Bugs? Spiders? Mice? Photos?

That’s right: photos.

I’ve always loved taking pictures but when someone tried to take a photo of me it was pulverizing. I would tense up, try to avoid the photo, and I would be rude to the person taking the photo. Sometimes I would run to the bathroom and cry. No matter the reaction, the act of someone taking a photo of me would always completely turn my day around. I could go from careless and happy to angry and self-loathing with one click of a camera.

This process of emotions mentioned above began about freshman year of high school and continued until THIS year. That’s about five years. My fear of seeing my own face in a photo hindered family outings, hang-out time with friends, as well as dance and school functions.

I vividly remember a Christmas party at church where I was rude to my mother and my best friend because I wanted so much for my mom to stop trying to take my photo. I was so afraid of being rejected for the way I looked that I lashed out on loved ones. I couldn’t face the girl I saw in photos.

This summer, I was privileged to witness MAM’s #BeyondCompare campaign first-hand. At Audiofeed Festival and Wachinyeya festival, I was among many volunteers asking festival-goers to let me photograph them. We would ask them to write an intrinsic value about themselves that makes them unique (i.e. I am a survivor) as a statement of being #beyondcompare because we are loved by God. We needn’t compare ourselves to media stereotypes or the ideals of others because we have are firm in our identity as a child of God.

Through helping with this campaign, I was able to see people like myself who feared photos. I would see the hesitation in people’s faces when I’d ask “Would you like to do our photobooth?” If the person I asked participated, I would take the photograph and sometimes ask “Do you want to see it?” to which many would respond, “Oh no, no I don’t like pictures of myself.”

So what then?

Do we settle for ignoring our own photograph so we can “move on” and not worry about our fear of selfies? Or maybe you do what I often did-where you post a selfie on Instagram and if only two people like it then you delete it. Should we let our affirmation be in Instagram?

What is really being achieved if we actually like the way we look in pictures? Is it harming anyone if we just ignore the way we feel about selfies?

I want to know your thoughts. Take a look back at these questions. Think about questions you may have. Message me on Facebook or with your thoughts or comment on any of MAM’s social media and let us know what you think.

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/MAMministries

Twitter- @MAMministries

Instagram: @Mamministries

#MAMministries #BeyondCompare #CelebrateYourSelfie

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Suicide… It's time to look up and listen

2014-09-09T18:15:00.000-05:00

This is not where I originally planned to start, but this has once again hit close to home and has been weighing heavily on my heart. I think quickly, have horrible grammar, and cannot spell.

Here we go.

Suicide.

One person commits suicide every 40 seconds.

Suicide - to kill oneself, ‘is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Often carried out as a result of despair’.

What causes this despair? What pushes someone to that point?

Obsessive thoughts?

Anger?

Loneliness?

Fear?

Financial problems?

Relationship problems?

Grief?

Mental illness?

Substance abuse?

Addiction?

Emptiness?

Eating disorders?

Sexuality?

Acceptance?

Sexual, physical, mental abuse?

Feeling like you've hit rock bottom?

No way to get out?

One person every 40 seconds. How then is it so taboo to talk about these issues in our society today? We struggle to have sympathy or empathy. We struggle to relate to a situation that seems so bad that suicide seems the best option. We think it's selfish and we get angry. I know...I've been guilty of this. I've been one of those ‘left behind’ to try and figure out why they did it. Becoming to busy with work, life, the little things, to recognize:

The desperation

The hopelessness

The panic

The anxiety

The nightmares

The fear

The insomnia

The disinterest

The isolation

The sadness

The rejection

The victimization

The agitation

Up to 75% of those who attempt suicide tell someone about their intention.

Are we listening?

Ask questions.

Hear what is said and what is left unsaid.

Be vigilant.

Let people know that you care, that they are not alone.

No one is beyond help.

Everyone is loved by the Father even if they don’t know it.

Let's take a minute of every day, put the phone down, step away from the computer, stop thinking about work, the list of things you need to get done, shut out the social media, turn off the tv, the radio.

For just one minute a day, give someone your undivided attention and look at them, no, really see them.

Tell them you care, or don't say anything at all, and just listen.

I challenge myself, I challenge all of you - let's see what we can do together, what we can change.

Let's not be left wondering why.

Release the guilt, the anger, the helplessness, the flashbacks, that last argument, the last conversation.

Let's do this together.

Katye is a professional ballroom dancer who loves teaching as well as dancing. She has been both dancing and writing since she was young. Katye wants to share the amazing things God has done in her life with the world around her.

Some thoughts on thoughts... Part 2

2014-09-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

I realize there are a lot of negative things in the world. Life can get really hard sometimes. It can get overwhelming! Watching the news, you see a lot of crazy awful things but rarely anything uplifting. Our televisions are filled with drama and crisis while there are very few shows about healthy relationships or happy families. It is really easy to see all the messed up stuff in our world and to focus on everything that is negative.

I have challenged myself to see the positive in whatever situation I find myself. I have a little necklace in the shape of a key that says “positivity is the key.” Sometimes this can be hard but it has definitely helped my everyday attitude and my stress level! I have become a much happier person. My anxiety level has lowered significantly. I am able to approach any situation more calmly than in the past when I let negativity rule my thoughts.

Do you know someone who is always negative - where everything they say is critical of things around them? They will always call out what is wrong in a situation before noticing what is right. It seems like they have the worst luck because bad things always happen to them. I’ve seen how this can affect people. It's exhausting focussing on the bad all the time. I do not want to live like that.

I have a theory that you see what you are looking for. When you focus on the negative, you will find it. So it must be true that when you focus on the positive, you will find it. Your mind cannot focus on positive and negative at the same time - it's like trying to smile and frown at the same time - you can't.

A big part of keeping things positive is to not complain. Most things in life are not really a big deal. A lot of the things I worry and complain about are not life or death. If it is something I can change, I am learning to just do what I need to do instead of complaining about it first. If it is something that I can’t change, then there probably is not anything productive that will come out of my complaining anyway. In my brain, I try to catch myself before I complain out loud. That way I can filter my thoughts to only say things that are going to help a situation move forward in the right direction.

Living in a culture that wants to tell me that I should look different than I do, I have made a promise to myself to never say anything negative about my body out loud. I have heard so many people criticize themselves about the way they look. I look at these people and think they look awesome. It’s all about perspective. When I look in the mirror, I want to love the curves and freckles. Most people will never notice the small things I do not like about myself. I started writing positive things about myself on my mirror as a constant reminder of what I like about me. I only get one body in this life, so I might as well love it!

I'm also trying to focus positive vibes is in my relationships with others. I try to think about other people’s feelings in any situation. Many times, I find myself getting really upset about something and getting really mad at someone else without really even knowing how they feel. I could have taken their words in a way that they did not mean or they could be going through a lot and I am just the easiest target for emotions that have nothing to do with me. Most people do not know everything going on in my life, so I assume there is a ton that the people around me have going on of which I am unaware. Some of these things may be super stressful and hard for them to handle. I try to see the good in people, on their good days and their bad days. Also, when I treat people in a positive way, they tend to reciprocate. Positivity in interactions breeds more positivity.

I hope you will start to be grateful for the positive things in your life and see the good in everything. You can change the world by changing your world and having a positive impact on others. In the very least, you can help by not adding to the negativity. Start with your thoughts, and your whole life can change.

It all starts with you. You can make the world a little brighter.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN. She is a volunteer for MAM who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventures.

Some thoughts on thoughts... Part 1

2014-08-28T12:34:00.001-05:00

Words can make you smile, laugh, cry, and scream. Words have changed lives and will continue to do so forever. Words can build up and tear down relationships. Words have power.

So what about the words in our minds: our thoughts. They have a lot of power too. Words come from our thoughts which come from our hearts. Our thoughts affect our whole lives. How are your thoughts affecting your life? Are you your biggest fan or your biggest critic? What are the things that go through your mind on a daily basis about yourself? How positive are the thoughts you have about yourself?

Here’s a crazy truth for you: not all of your thoughts are true.

If you were to think “I am the president of the United States,” doesn’t mean it is true. Just the same, thinking that you are unworthy of being loved does not mean that you actually are unworthy of love. For most of us the negative self-talk continually creeping through our brains is a lie. Sometimes lies come into our thoughts and take hold until we eventually forget reality. These messages can take root for so long. They can affect our self-esteem and the way we live our lives. It may be the words of others spoken over us, messages from the society around us, or even ourselves.

One example is a sentence that was said to me in a past relationship. “I wish you were taller and tanner and had bigger boobs.” One, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone ever. Two, these are all qualities about me that I cannot change. This translated into my brain as “I’m not good enough or attractive enough, and I never will be.” I know this is a crazy jump but I don’t think I’m the only one who has made those leaps. I embraced it as truth and it affected the way that I saw myself. It was a throw away sentence on their behalf but it shook my confidence in the relationship and other areas of my life. With this “I’m not good enough” idea floating through my head, it was easy to see the things that validated that thought and to disregard all the good things about myself.

So how do we change the patterns of negative thinking? I have been learning to sift through my thoughts and really evaluate where they are all coming from. One of the most freeing things I have done is to break off the lies that have taken hold and replace them with the truth about who I am. When I think about where some of these ideas in my head have come from, it seems crazy that I ever let them come into my brain at all. There are a lot of really awesome things about me! There are also a lot of really great people that love and support me. These are the things I want to focus on instead of the things that have been said by the people who have hurt me.

My hope for you is that you can distinguish truth from the lies. If there are any lies that you have turned into truth, I hope you will dig deep and cut them out. It might hurt a little to talk about them and deal with them but you will be able to move forward. Replace the lies and see the truth.

Here are some positive true words about you to help replace any lies you have been believing. Write them on your mirror, put them on sticky notes around your house, and build others up with them because the world needs some more encouragement.

You are enough.

You are loved.

You are valuable.

You have a story to tell.

Your life matters.

You are beyond compare.

Now go out and live your life with these running through your brain and I bet some things will start to change for the better.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN. She is a volunteer for MAM who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventures.

Tales from the Road... Unity Festival

2014-08-21T13:45:00.001-05:00

This trip was the biggest event of our festival season which meant a whole bunch of stuff to cram into our minivan - there were only three of us driving up and we nearly had to leave someone behind!

Unity happens in Muskegon, MI, on the shore of Lake Michigan - yes, it's a hard life for the MAM team! This year over 60,000 people attended to hear some great music and get stuck into the various activities run by the huge team of Unity volunteers.

As for MAM, we had a lot going on! We took our regular booth with all our information, t-shirts and Banded headbands. We ran two photo booths continuing our #beyondcompare campaign asking people to share with us what makes them unique.

Then, on top of that and most excitingly for us, we ran our first girls lounge - a space for girls and young women to come and hang out, talk about their issues, get prayed for and get involved with some of our craft activities.

On the Friday and Saturday we had the opportunity to share our documentary, Through My Heart's Eyes, and to share something of what MAM is all about. These sessions are always a highlight as it led to great conversations with individuals who were able to share their own stories with MAM team.

Then it was time to go home - so we said a big thank you to Ashley, Michael, Jimmy, Shane and the Take Hold team who helped us make everything happen and packed up the van again for the drive back to Nashville. George, Corinne and Jimmy did a superb job of packing Jimmy's van - don't worry it was only going round the corner!!

The journey home was fairly uneventful - so we made a list of things we like for you....

Cold War Kids

Toast and Marmite

Sleep

Coffee

Soft t-shirts

Redbull

Crisp clean air

Boys with black hair and lip rings

Candles that smell of the coast

Being in water

Fuzzy blankets

2014 corvettes

Chicken and salad in all forms (especially with avocado and without mayo)

Pandora and pickled okra

Praying with strangers

Batman and all villains in batman

Reading positive psychology books

Horror movies

Craft nights

Corinne's driving commentary

Food samples at Costco and Publix

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship

Bikes with baskets

Hoodies

Accents

Metal (the material and the music)

All things fall

Pianos

Not having let it go in my head

Stargazing and cloud gazing on a trampoline

The ocean and surfing

Meet Virginia by Train

Through My Heart's Eyes

2014-08-21T10:41:00.002-05:00

This documentary chronicles the lives, struggles and choices of two girls, one in Nashville TN and one in London, England. They openly and honestly share the difficulties they have faced and how they are seeking to overcome those things. This is a frank and moving look at issues that girls are facing today - click the image below and take the time to watch.

Through My Heart's Eyes from Morning After Ministries on Vimeo.

Tales from the Road... Wachinyeya Fest

2014-07-31T16:20:00.003-05:00

After all the fun we had at Audiofeed the MAM team were keen to get back on the road and add a few more states to our list of places we have been this summer. We were a little apprehensive approaching this trip as we really didn't know what we were heading into. The majority of our team (Jenna, Emma, Gabriel, Neal and Corinne) got packed into the van early in the morning to take on the epic drive to North Dakota.

Nearly 2000 miles, much coffee, several redbulls, one Super 8 and a lot of cornfields we arrived on the reservation at Fort Yates where Christy and Alex joined the team. We arrived in the dark to take residence in a church and a tiny house but looking around in the morning what we saw was fairly bleak. We had travelled through all the hype and advertising of majority America and arrived in this small town that was reminiscent of the developing world in many ways.

The next two days were spent hanging out with the young people attending the festival - there weren't lots of them so we were able to really get to know those we met despite the short amount of time. We had several opportunities to share our stories and the heart of MAM and lots of the people there got involved in our #beyondcompare campaign too.

In the midst of some great music, swimming in the river and games of frisbee we heard stories of abuse, addiction, self harm, suicide, rape and more. MAM's message of love and value in the eyes of our Father had never felt more relevant or powerful when faced with the reality of life for so many of the young people of the reservation. Please read Alex's blog to read more about the reality of life on the reservation.

We met some amazing people who are living there sharing God's message of hope who inspired us with their determination to bring love and a sense of belonging where so many families were broken and separated. But the workers are few. MAM is working on ways we can support them and we are hoping to return to Fort Yates later in the year.

It was an extraordinary time for each of us on the team and our very long journey back (including a night by a bonfire while visiting Mount Rushmore) gave us plenty of time to reflect on what was a very challenging experience in many ways. God gave us amazing opportunities, lots of fun with the youngsters and a real sense of his heart for the people of the reservation. It won't be an experience we forget quickly, that's for sure.

Hope in the darkest of places...

2014-07-29T17:43:00.000-05:00

I watched the Avengers movie last week, and I loved it. I loved it partly because I love jam-packed action adventure stories, but mainly because I love the journey all superheroes go on: a journey from being ordinary people to becoming extraordinary superheroes. They go on a journey of transformation where they realize the fullness of all they were created to be; despite all the hopeless circumstances they find themselves in and have to battle against.

I've spent the last few days in a Native Indian reservation called Fort Yates in North Dakota. A place where 79% of the population are unemployed. Where 5 young people have hanged themselves in the last 6 months from within one community. Where a frightening amount of girls and women are raped. Where children are molested, neglected and physically abused. Where teenagers turn to drugs and alcohol because that's what their parents did before them. It is a place with endless battles. A place where hope has been lost.

I had the privilege of joining with a team of 7 from MAM, volunteering at festival called Wachinyeya, meaning 'Hope' in Lakota (one of the Native Indian tribal languages). For two days we spent time with

teenagers, kids, and some older members of the community; chatting, playing, swimming in rivers and endless piggy-backs while bands from across the USA played music and shared their stories. It seems simple but there is a lot of power in being open and simply spending time with people. It all happened to communicate a simple message to the people living in this bleak environment - they are loved and valued by God just as they are, despite whatever mistakes they have made or any hopelessness, struggles and sadness they might be going through. And not just that but because of his love and by his Spirit they are empowered to seek a different path, one that gives their lives purpose.

Wachinyeya. Hope. That’s exactly what Fort Yates needs more of; because right now there are so many hopeless situations and those young people have so little to live for. Hope comes alive in the person of Jesus Christ - even in the most desperate situations he transforms lives. He takes people on a journey from being ordinary to becoming extraordinary. Despite negative life circumstances and everything we have to battle against, Jesus empowers us by His Spirit so that we know the fullness of who we are created to be.

Tony Stark was made to be ‘IronMan’. Steve Rogers was made to be ‘Captain America’. Bruce Banner was made to be ‘The Hulk’. But if IronMan tried to be The Hulk, or The Hulk tried to be Captain America, they wouldn’t be embracing the fullness of their identities. Those superheroes have inherent value just the way they are and when they accept that - it's then they become the heroes that are so desperately needed. Jesus created you and I with inherent value, and when we recognize that we are loved and valuable – we step into the fullness of all we were created to be and we are empowered us to live a life full of purpose.

And Jesus is bringing transformation to the reservation - Lance, Line, their family and some other amazing people are living their lives right there in the reservation - in the midst of the struggles and darkness - letting their lamps shine out, bringing Jesus' hope.

My prayer for us all, but particularly for those I met at Wachinyeya, is that we’d all be transforming into the fullness of life we’ve been made for through Jesus. My favorite verse in the bible is John 10:10

A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy; but [Jesus] came so [you] can have real and eternal life, more and better life than [you] ever dreamed (MSG).

I love this verse because it tells the story of transformation that Jesus takes us on. Although life has been stolen, joy killed, and peace destroyed; through Jesus we have hope and can know the fullness of life we were created for.

It was depressing to see such bleakness and desperation in a country of extraordinary wealth and opportunity but Jesus is there. Through a handful of dedicated people he is bringing his love, light and hope and little by little, lives are being transformed.

Alex Perkin

Alex is from the UK and is a student studying global ‘Development Studies & Geography' at SOAS university in London. After working for a youth organization (Soul Survivor UK) for 3 years, he wanted to engage more with God's heart for justice and social action so is pursuing a career in development. He loves time with family, friends and cooking stir-fries!

Tales from the Road... Audiofeed 2014

2014-07-09T10:30:00.000-05:00

Here at MAM we love the summer as it our opportunity to get out on the road and head to some festivals. This year we are taking our #beyondcompare campaign with us to try and challenge our culture of comparing ourselves to others and to start seeing ourselves as God does. First stop this year was Audiofeed in Illinois...

Audiofeed is a small festival but with an awesome sense of community. We had a booth where we were giving out information and selling our new #beyondcompare t-shirts and Banded headbands too. We ran a seminar on some of the issues that we look at and had a good few shout outs from the stage giving us lots of opportunity to share what MAM is all about.

The highlight for us was seeing everyone getting on board with the new campaign and sharing what makes them #beyondcompare. Here is just a taster but you can all the photos from the event on our Flickr page...

We were really humbled by the statements that people made and how open and willing people were to get involved. If you want to join in the fun you can post a photo on our facebook wall, instagram or twitter (@MAMministries) telling us something about you with the hashtag #beyondcompare - go on, get involved!

As well as really enjoying the festival we managed to enjoy our road trip to get there and back - visiting a variety of very large things (including Superman, a peach, Uncle Sam) and a very tiny chapel too...

If you think it looks like fun - it is! We still have a couple of places to volunteer with us this summer so let us know if you are interested.

Next stop Wachinyeya, North Dakota...

First Rate Version of Yourself - Beyond Compare

2014-07-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

by: Jess Eveland

One of the hardest question I have ever had to answer was "Who am I?". In college (way back in the 90's) in Faith and Culture my professor pressed us to answer this question and at 19, I was not able to do it. When I tried to write my paper, it came back with a big red "X" through it and a note, "Your paper tells me facts but not your heart". WHAT?!

Looking back I now can see what my wise professor was trying to get me to do, but I was not able to see myself beyond my facts: Age, Birth Place, Major. I was working so hard to hide myself, my heart was so full of comparison, I reduced myself to just the facts. I was too scared of my truth and really busy trying my best to be someone else.

Sadly, my life did not fit the picture of a happy, upper-middle class, white girl at a Christian college. My life felt dark. Rejection, divorce, my young sister died of cancer, attempted suicide. I resolved that I would leave that all at home and live like everyone else. My resolution only lead to more hurt, pain, and depression. I left college so unsure of myself and NO idea who I was. I was so busy trying to be everyone else, I lost myself.

All the messy, the hurt and pain, are the pieces that came together to make a unique individual. And yes, it hurts, but it is so much better. When you let go of comparison and live a unique life, true to who you were created to be, you will be free! Part of that freedom is working through the tough issues in your life. Only when you are able to be honest are you able to move forward.

God made you a unique and special creation. You are not a second rate copy of anyone or anything. You were not a mistake.

Psalm 139:14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Live Brave! Be True! Lay down comparison and be true to yourself. If you need help or you need to talk to someone please visit MAM's website or go HERE to chat with Hopeline.

You are #beyondcompare

Jess Eveland is a volunteer with MAM and lives in the Nashville area. You can find Jess online at Rock Paper Feather.

You are #beyondcompare

2014-07-02T13:48:00.000-05:00

"Comparison is the death of joy".

Mark Twain certainly knew what he was talking about when he made that statement. Who can say that comparing themselves to other people, to media stereotypes, to the 'perfect you' that you've created in your mind has brought anything positive?

Comparing ourselves to others brings up one of three things - none of which are healthy for us. It might be jealousy - we don't feel we measure up to the person or ideal we are comparing ourselves to so we are envious of those that do. It might be a sense of worthlessness - that we aren't good enough because we haven't reached the bar we set for ourselves. It might be judgment and pride - we are looking at others and seeing ourselves as better than them. There is no real joy in any of these places.

This isn't the life that I want to live. Either disappointed in myself - believing that I haven't made the grade - I'm not rich enough, clever enough, thin enough, pretty enough, the list goes on; or putting myself on a pedestal, looking down and saying that I am better than those around me.

This doesn't feel like the life God would have for us. So where is real joy and contentment?

It's found when we understand who we are in God's eyes - that we are loved completely and unconditionally by the creator of the universe. He knows us inside and out, light and dark, and he still gave up his son to die for us (Romans 5:8). He delights in us and rejoices over us (Zephaniah 3:17), we are his treasured possession (Malachi 3:17). Contentment comes when our identity is in God and who he believes us to be - not from the media, other people or even ourselves.

When we see ourselves through God's eyes we are beyond comparison. We are made in his image. We wouldn't compare God to the images in a fashion magazine so we shouldn't do it to ourselves.

MAM is launching the #beyondcompare campaign this summer because we want everyone to know that they are loved by God, exactly as they are. Each of us is #beyondcompare.

Keep an eye on our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (@mamministries) for how you can get involved!

Open the Book: Lessons Learned From Turning The Page

2014-06-30T11:29:00.000-05:00

The world is full of stories. Often coming from the hands of authors, creating new worlds and characters that have the power to bewitch. Sometimes epics of fiction, full of heroes defeating villains and saving the world from certain destruction. Sometimes more gentle tales of self discovery or love in a small town. But what about the others: the nonfiction, the raw, vulnerable accounts of real life experiences.

The misconception that stories have to be fictional can distract us from the fact that we all have very real stories to tell. I have one, as do you, and so does everyone else. Our stories describe how we came to be, why we are the way that we are, why we live how we do. Yet while each of us yearns to tell their story, we are not nearly so keen to listen. These stories then bottle up, threatening to explode like an erupting volcano. As the late Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

After a close friend of mine passed away, I realized how important our stories really are. I didn’t believe stories were important, especially my own - no one needed to know about me. But I was looking at it the wrong way. It’s the personal stories of real life that inspire and they are our legacy too. No matter what happens to us, our stories are still there.

So many of us don’t want to “burden” those around us with our pain and the dark parts of our stories, so we edit and rewrite and only talk about the parts with sunshine and rainbows. We edit our stories so that people only see us the way we want to be seen. Being real and telling the whole story means opening up and being vulnerable, which is a very real and terrifying notion. Now, hold on to your hat, reader, because the next thing I say may blow your mind.

Your story matters. The whole story. The dark parts, the shadows hidden between the bursts of light, the sunshine and rainbows, the demons hiding in your closet, every single detail. It all matters.

If you’re anything like me, this is a difficult concept to grasp. I’ve always been the strong one, the tough girl who doesn’t let anything get to her, the one who is always okay when others would be falling apart. The truth is, I was falling apart, I just didn’t want anyone to know. I felt like my limbs were being pulled in every direction while someone punched me in the heart. But I put on a smile and pretended everything was fine. I don’t like talking to people, I don’t like opening up, and I certainly wasn’t about to let anyone know that I wasn’t fine. But eventually, it broke me. Remember when I said untold stories are like a volcano waiting to erupt? Well, my story erupted Mount St. Helens style, leaving a massive crater in its place. I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I was broken, but I decided that it was time to start putting myself back together. I started going to counseling, I started opening up, I started admitting when I had a bad day. I started praying and going to church again. I stopped pretending nothing could hurt me and admitted to myself the one thing I never wanted to say: I’m human, and I’m not invincible.

I also learned that if this happened to me, it also happens to others. So along with telling more of my story, I started listening. I started having deeper conversations with people, asking them about their lives, encouraging them that their story matters and that they aren’t alone. And I have been blessed and encouraged by the stories I’ve heard.

People need community and connection, which is getting increasingly difficult as we stop having conversations and retreat behind our phone screens. I urge you to think about the people in your life. If someone is always fine and nothing bothers them, they may need someone to talk to - maybe that friend is you. Perhaps you just want someone to listen. Find someone to share stories with. Make real, meaningful, human connections. Listen for the sake of listening, without judgment. Fearlessly tell your own story. Become an open book. Allow others to write their stories in between the lines of yours.

When all is said and done, stories exist long after we do. Share yours with the world. You matter, and your story matters. So go ahead. We’re listening.

Emma Rollman

Maya Angelou: Be Courageous and Empowered

2014-06-28T11:30:00.000-05:00

A month ago today one of the great inspirational women of this generation passed away. Maya Angelou was a writer and activist and amongst many other achievements worked alongside Martin Luther King, Jr and Malcolm X in the Civil Rights movement. In this post Jenna Coombs summarises an article she found inspiring about this extraordinary lady.

Maya Angelou had a skill for empowering the world with her expertise in both writing and speech. Karin Kamp of The Story Exchange wrote an article based on a television interview she had with Angelou a few years ago. In the interview, Angelou discussed the development of courage and empowerment.

According to Angelou, the first thing to know about courage is that it is “developed,” “you’re not born with courage,” Angelou tells PBS.

So how do we “develop” courage when our society is so used to seeing born-to-be-brave heroes bracing our television and movie screens?

Angelou compares courage to a muscle-something you have to train. “One way to develop courage is to not entertain company who debase you. Don’t laugh at someone who is laughing at you…Take offense.”

If someone starts name-calling or belittling you-leave. “You don’t need to say why you’re leaving — say you’re on your way to Bangkok or something.”

Angelou advises that we should build courage by doing things that make us proud of who we are, “If you want to read, take the time to do so. If you want to learn a new language, get a book or audio cassette to help you.” In a society where social media begs us to both tell and show the world the things we’re doing every minute, Angelou says that “no one has to know or see what you’re doing [when you are finally doing those things you’ve wanted to do for yourself].”

That’s how empowerment happens, “through small victories,” said Angelou.

A summary of an article by Karin Kamp: Maya Angelou's Advice to Young Women

Jenna Coombs

Lessons from the Relationships Maze

2014-06-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

You have to have a boyfriend to be happy.

Singleness is awkward and not fun.

Guys are only attracted to hot girls.

Everybody is having sex.

Your significant other can fulfill your purpose in life.

Divorce is expected.

Your sex life should be as “hot” as porn.

You have to be beautiful all the time in order to be noticed.

A relationship is the end goal.

Women are objects meant for a man’s pleasure.

Random hookups are not a big deal.

Buy this and you will get the girl.

All of the messages that the media sends about relationships are overwhelming but what is the reality - what does love look like? What is a healthy relationship? How do I act in a way that respects myself and the other person?

Here is a picture of what an unhealthy relationship (this is written for girls but works both ways!): Your boyfriend insults you on a regular basis (even if in a “sarcastic” joking manner), he is not supportive of your dreams, and he is jealous of your success. As a couple, you spend more time texting and talking online than in person. Your guy does not respect your boundaries or is unwilling to establish any boundaries for the relationship. You are trying to change him in a major way. You make excuses for his actions on a regular basis.

A healthy relationship is one where both sides of the relationship are supportive of the other person’s goals and dreams. You may have conflicts but both sides handle the conflict in a mature way. For every negative interaction, the couple has five positive interactions. Your boyfriend is willing to do things that you like, even if he is not a fan of whatever it is. He does not just tolerate your weird quirks, but those are some of the reasons that he fell in love with you. Your relationship means that you both become more of who you were made to be.

Which of these is more appealing to you?

I am not coming from the perspective of “I am happily married and have it all figured out” but of the place of trying to navigate the maze that is relationships in the 21^st century. As I go along, I try to take in as much advice from elderly couples because they are the ones with the experience - they have lived so much more of life than me. If I get married then I hope to be a happily married 80 year old who still holds my husband’s hand when we go places.

Here are some things that I am learning:

Take your time when it comes to relationships. Marriage is meant for a lifetime so you do not want to take that lightly. You do not want to jump into the wrong relationship when the amazing guy for you is about to pop into your life.
Find someone who is supportive of your biggest dreams and goals. Make sure you can be supportive of their dreams too.
Set your standards before you start dating someone. Know your worth and how you want to be treated by a significant other. It is much easier to form your boundaries before being in a relationship than trying to establish those boundaries in the heat of the moment.
Never compare your relationship to another relationship. All relationships are different so it is not healthy to compare with your friends’ relationships, or compare with your own past relationships.
Do not focus on your past or your partner’s past. It is important to talk about your past with each other but there is no reason to dwell on it. In order to have a successful relationship you must move on and focus on the present and future.
Know and love yourself first. I know this is cliché and you have heard it before but you will never be able to love someone else, or let someone else love you, until you learn to love yourself.
Cultivate your nonromantic relationships. Friends and family are the ones that will stick by you through the years of dating. It is important to pour yourself into the people you are close with and lean on them for support when it comes to the dating process.

Remember: You deserve to be happy. Never settle for anything less than being treated like royalty!

Brigid Lindveit

The Buyer's Value

2014-06-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about our value as human beings. In this conversation he pointed out that as a collector of various items, value is subjective to the buyer or collector.

According to Business Dictionary, product value is “an assessment of the worth of a good or service.” So who determines the worth of a product? The market? The manufacturer?

“I won’t consider buying or collecting a product if it isn’t valuable or meaningful to me,” he said. He explained that ultimately the buyer determines the value of a product.

Many things in this world fight to determine our value. For example, if we have the right house, a certain amount of friends, or the “perfect” body, then we will be valuable to those around us. Of course we may not outwardly express this notion, but the way we treat ourselves does express it.

In the past I worked two jobs, volunteered with three organizations, had a boyfriend, and was a full-time student. I didn’t understand the word “no” and I thought that meant I was doing it right. I felt like a valuable human being, because of me. So when many of those things ceased in my life or changed shape, I lost that feeling of value.

I have now realized that my value doesn't come from me. I’m a “collectable”. I don’t have the power to determine my value. The buyer determines that.

“For you were bought with a price.”

1 Corinthians 6:20a

We were bought with a price by our own Creator and he didn’t pay with any currency we could return. He paid with the death of His only, perfect, and blameless son (John 3:16).

God’s assessment of our worth must have been pretty high if he was to pay such a price. He created us after all, and sent His son as the atoning sacrifice (Rom 3:25), so rather than attempting to find our worth in the standards set by ourselves and this world, it makes sense that we find the appraisal of our value in Him.

Jenna Coombs

MAM on Bloglovin

2014-06-11T11:31:00.000-05:00

Hi Friends!

Make sure you add us to your Bloglovin' feed to keep up to date with MAM's latest posts.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

A little more about us...

2014-06-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

We think of the United States as one of the most developed nations in the world and yet in this country as many as 1 in 3 girls will be sexually abused during their adolescence and only 30% of those cases will be reported. 2 million people will self harm in the USA this year - the majority girls. Over 50% of teenage girls use unhealthy weight control methods including skipping meals, laxatives, fasting, binge eating and vomiting. Each year 1 in 20 adolescents will seriously consider suicide.

This is a depressing picture of the land of freedom and opportunity. And is the reason why organisations like Morning After Ministries (MAM) need to exist to offer the help that these young people aren't accessing elsewhere.

Everyone is unique. Everyone is loved. Everyone has value. But not everyone believes that. This can lead to bad decisions being made, unhealthy habits being adopted and self worth being destroyed. This is the reality for many girls and young women today.

MAM exists to provide education and awareness about value based struggles; to meet girls and young women where they are at; to provide a safe space for them to share their story; and to help them get the help they need to live a full and purposeful life. MAM exists to be the hands and feet of Jesus the "morning after" a girl makes her biggest mistake and provides a safe space to begin to talk about issues like the ones mentioned above and many more.

We tackle issues such as eating disorders, self harm, sexual health, substance abuse, body image and many more. We want to help people understand the issues that girls and young women are facing today and to equip them to reach out and get them the support they need.

MAM approaches these issues through outreach, education and community - working in both preventative and reactionary measures. We run schools work programmes, run and attend a whole variety of events aimed at young people, provide educational resources, offer mentoring, signposting and prayer, and they work alongside parents, teachers, churches and youth groups.

If you want to find out more or get involved please take a look at our website:
www.morningafterministries.com