Moron Parade

Household income...

noreply@blogger.com (Musa!) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 14:59:00 +0000

(Submitted by a friend)

Processing an application for financial assistance:

Me: How many people live in your household?
Customer: Just me and my husband and my 2 children.
Me: ok, and how much is the total household income per month?
Customer: social security

Me: .......

Me (again):Ok, and how much is that?

Customer: 12

Me: can you be more specific?

Customer: 12 a month

Me: 12 what? 12 dollars? 12 hundred? 12 thousand?

Customer: yes ma'am

Me (sigh): ok, which one?

Customer: $1,200 a month

Me: THANK YOU!

Identity issues...

noreply@blogger.com (Musa!) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 14:51:00 +0000

This one was submitted by a friend who works at a call center:

Rep: For research and statistical purposes, may I ask your race?

Caller: I'm American

Rep: hmm ok, are you Caucasian, African American...?

Caller: yes, I'm American.

Rep: ok- and what is your marital status?

Caller: I'm a male

Rep: (!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)

A man that is willing to live up to his name

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:54:00 +0000

Police search for Moron

AURORA - Police are searching for a man who they say has a history of violence and has attacked his wife in the past.

Police say 35-year-old Joseph Moron has a permanent restraining order against him and two active felony warrants. They say he's wanted for investigation of stalking, second-degree kidnapping, second-degree assault, first-degree burglary and numerous counts of violating a restraining order.

Moron is described by police as a 5-foot, 9-inch white man, weighing about 205 pounds with brown eyes and brown hair. They say he's known to frequent the area of Buckley Road and Iliff Avenue in Aurora.

If anyone has seen Moron, they're asked to call Aurora Police at 303-627-3152.

http://www.9news.com/rss/article.aspx?storyid=176816

Thanks But No Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 20:20:00 +0000

Okay this is the first day, and I wanted to try and keep things as anonymous as possible. BUT... When you have goldie like this you just have to share. That being said I work for a newspaper, today I received a classified to run via the mail. We require people send payment with classified before we will run. We ask them that so we make sure that we get paid as you can't go back and not run the ad. I am not sure if it is his classified that has me laughing or the PS at the end. Most likely both. Here we go.

Letter reads:

Dear [Business], (classifieds)

Please print in Personals.

I apologize to Ms. [Name] , Ms. [Name2] for what happened (name-calling) at the x-ray dept. [Local] Hospital October 1972. Also as I am a gentleman, I also apologize to the caucasian, Ms. [Name3]. Sincerely Mr. [MORON].

P.S. I'll send you the $$$ when I see it in the paper.

No money was enclosed, no phone number to call. I am not going to run this ad and have to wait 39 years for him to get around to sending me the payment or an apology for not sending it.

UPDATE: This letter was written by Mrs. [MORON] on behalf of Mr. [MORON].

Geography class...

noreply@blogger.com (Musa!) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 18:44:00 +0000

This one is about a year old... no, a year old exactly, but nonetheless hilarious.

Right after the devastating earthquake that hit Haiti, and during the media coverage, a Facebook friend of mine posted on her status:

"Today the earth shook on African soil. Please God, help them... they need you!".

Africa?

Please God, help her. She needs a brain.

Posted by: Anonymous

It's The Law, Ma'am

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 18:17:00 +0000

This post was from a friend that inspired me to start this blog. Funny that it wasn't the first one posted but here it is.

Friend: "unfortunately I can't discuss this account with you"
Woman: "I'm his wife."
Friend: "you're not on the account. I can't discuss it with you. Its the law."
Woman: "yeah, that's what everyone says."

...well, isn't it about time you stopped asking then, you [bleeping] stupid, idiotic moron?!

submitted by friend

No College For You!

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:54:00 +0000

Called a college about information about their Bachelor and Master degrees.

I followed the voice prompts, and selected 3 for Educational Programs.

When the operator picked up she asked me to describe my goals and motivations.

I did, and when I finished she said, "I'm sorry sir, we do not have any educational programs. Would you like me to send you a information packet?"

submitted by a friend

India Telemarketing, Please hold!

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:38:00 +0000

They just keep coming! just had this one:
(When you read this one keep thick Indian accent in your mind)
Me: Thank you for calling [business name] this is [me] how can I help you.
Man: [long pause] Hello?
Me: This is [business name].
Man: Oh yes thank you I am fine, I am [mumbles] did you get your package?
Me: Excuse me? You are who?
Man: Your wife she takes medicine?
Me: This is a business!
Man: Okay sorry. So no medicine?
Me: [HANGS UP]

The Time?

noreply@blogger.com (Hypo) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:17:00 +0000

Received a call today:

Me: Hello [name of business] how may I help you.

Woman: What time is it?

Me: Ummm... 11:20am.

Woman: [hangs up]