This one pops up when you’re selling stuff. I had it yesterday on Facebook Marketplace, but I’ve read about them targeting people on other platforms as well. Screenshot attached, and transcribed below so it’s searchable.

Essentially, they say they’ll send the cash to you with a Fedex / UPS / whatever agent to collect “the item”, but the envelope needs insured which you pay for but they’ll put that money in the envelope as well to cover it. Because of course they will.

Arnaud

Hello, is this still available?

You sent

Yes it is

Arnaud

Ok I take but I would like to come tomorrow but I am currently busy with work, I will send a FEDEX postman to your home to give you your money in cash and collect the item.

You sent

As long as it’s cash I can work with that. I’ll be in all day tomorrow

Arnaud

I explain to you, an agent FEDEX will come to your home to give you an envelope containing your money, and once you have verified your money you give him the article so he can send it to my home.

You sent

Right, and I’m assuming there will be insurance needed for the envelope that I’ll need to cover?

You sent

I’ve reported you to Facebook and will ensure as many people as I know see a transcript of this so they don’t get robbed by you as well. I’m sure your mother is proud of you.

Arnaud

do not worry because the 50 £ that you will pay for the insurance costs will be donated since I have already made the addition to you so as not to penalize the transaction which means that you will have the total sum of 150£ on your envelope Don’t worry you will have your money in cash From tomorrow at your home

You sent

Hahaha no. You’re a thief.

Arnaud Jagoua left the group.

Thing is, I hate running. I used to be good at it, but I also used to be 23 years old. At that time I could run a 3 mile circuit and get home again before the bath was filled. I’m now more than twice that age and break into a sweat tying my trainers up.

I trialled a little run around the park by my house and it clocks in at 1.18, 1.19 or 1.20 miles depending on what mood my phone’s GPS is in. Either way, just about manageable for an old fart who can sprain a muscle if he doesn’t warm up before playing on the Xbox. The only downside is that there are no streetlights anywhere in the park, and it’s winter, which means I have limited daylight and the risk of ice. As such, my original plan of a quick run when I got home from work each night hasn’t been manageable so I’m having to cram the miles in when I can around the school run, work, parents’ evenings and so on.

Still, I’ve just passed the halfway mark as the month itself is half done so we’re getting there. I’ve also passed the halfway mark in the fundraising. So I changed my target so that people would keep donating. Yes, you. Go on – donate. Thank you. Oh, and don’t forget the Gift Aid. The government would only spend the money on something useless like sweeties or Brexit.

So what are you helping? The thing is, prostate cancer is pretty common but not too many people know about it. Or, indeed, prostates. Other cancers get a lot more (deserved) publicity. Leukaemia, for instance. Yes, that’s a cancer. And breast cancer. Because breasts are pretty obvious and awesome and everyone likes them (except for people who actually own them, as I gather they’re either too big and therefore painful, or too small and therefore everyone else’s are better). But we all like boobs. It’s not just a male thing, either. I know gay ladies who do find a nice pair very appealing in a partner. All the sex stuff aside, is there anything more serene than a mother nursing her baby? Exactly, breasts are great in so many ways. And breast cancer affects men and women (though predominantly the fairer sex).

Prostate cancer is a male only thing as only men have them (and I include in this trans-women – the prostate isn’t removed during reassignment surgery, so please be aware that prostate cancer can still be a “thing”). The prostate gland is a small structure, mainly used during sex to create the fluid that sperm resides in. A simplified description and one which pretty much explains why the prostate definitely isn’t as sexy as boobs.

While mammograms aren’t a picnic, prostates are examine by a GP shoving a hopefully lubricated and gloved) finger up your bum. As the joke goes, if you can feel their hands in your shoulders while they’re doing this, you should be charging them by the hour… Prostate cancer can also be tested for by using a blood test. Macmillan Cancer has a nice bit of info on it.

In the UK, 1 in 8 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer at some point in their lifetime, comparable to the 1 in 7 women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer. While 23% of breast cancer cases are preventable, prostate cancer is not, though there may be ways to lower the risk.

By supporting charities such as Prostate Cancer UK, we can help research this nasty beast and work out ways to reduce its likelihood, to improve treatment, raise awareness and make tests easier and more reliable.

So even if you can’t donate (I get it, it’s January, you’re broke after wasting money on crap presents that nobody really wanted or needed last month), then at least read up a little on it. Make others more aware. See if you’re in a risk category and consider getting tested just in case. As with any cancer, the sooner you spot the thing, the more likely it is you’ll beat it.

That donation link again. Thanks.

I’ve heard of this one before, but it’s been a while so it’s worth reminding people how easy it is for these scum to defraud you and how confident they are in doing so. Also how hard it is to get your money back, if at all, afterwards. The banks aren’t exactly bending over backwards to refund it – Santander in this case. First contact said the bank wouldn’t cover it, advised them to go to a high street branch, but transferred them to the fraud department. Last I spoke to them they were still on hold after over an hour.

The scam began with a phone call which was identified by their phone as coming from Santander. The person on the end knew their details (name, phone, account) and answered enough questions to identify themselves as being bank staff. If I’ve picked it up right, they knew the answers to his security questions.

Apparently his account was frozen as someone had spent £199 in Liverpool which they thought was odd. He confirmed it wasn’t him and they told him he had to close that account and move everything to a new one for security.

In small amounts.

This should ring alarm bells. A bank can transfer thousands in a go. The only reason for chunking it is to avoid flags going up for a large transfer. Try and shift £2000 in one go and expect something to ping on an app, opr request a code sent to a phone. Shift, say, £200 ten times and it may ping eventually, but not for a while. Long enough for them to steal a fair bit.

So that’s what happened. A disguised phone call from someone with a good story and far too many convincing details (we have no idea how they got hold of them), and an unsympathetic bank.

We’ll see how it goes tomorrow when they approach an actual branch, but I fear the money is gone. I’ve advised them to inform the police. They likely can’t help, but it’s useful to them to have a record of this happening.

So be careful. If you get a call from “your bank” with a similar story, get the details and hang up. Ensure the call has disconnected – this is more an issue with landlines. Look up their number (check the back of your bank card, for instance) and call them back. That way you know you’re talking to someone genuine.

Header image by Mohamed Hassn via Pixabay

I use Feedly as my RSS reader. It’s accessible via the web or an app. The free account limits you to 100 feeds, which should be plenty to get you going.

Alternatively, there’s the Vivaldi web browser which has an RSS module built into its email client as of recently, though it’s still a little clunky. Those of you using Outlook (the full app) can also make use of its inbuilt RSS reader.

There are others, too. A quick Google turned up this article which lists another four.

Once you have your reader, it’s usually as simple as entering the URL of your chosen website into it. The reader will locate the RSS feed and add it as a subscription. Worst case you may need to locate the site’s feed yourself, but it should be a simple matter of looking down the sidebar for “RSS” or the logo seen above. Copy the link and use that.

Then just set notifications, if needs be, or check your reader when you want to catch up. You won’t miss a post from your chosen websites again! No stupid algorithm, no 2-day delay until the site decides that it’s your turn to read something.

If it’s not the privacy issues (I’m actually not that concerned about those, to be honest), it’s the terrible interface. If it’s not the broken algorithms determining what you see and when, it’s the broken algorithms that determine whether what you’ve written is “hateful”.

Sod it, Facebook. I’m off. I have to maintain a presence for the sake of Moshville Times, but I doubt I’ll be posting on my feed, checking comments, responding to others’ posts and so on again in the near future. I’ve disabled all notifications on my phone and deleted the app from all my other devices.

Moshville Times will no longer be paying for post “Boost” because, frankly, it’s not worth it.

If you want to read any ramblings, bookmark this page or figure out RSS (it almost seems to be making a comeback) so you can get notified of every single post not just the ones some bonkers algorithm bothers to tell you about. Hell, I might draft a post sometime soon detailing how to access RSS these days. It’s surprisingly easy.

If you want to get in touch with me, or let me know about your event or something, then I can be contacted via Messenger (yes, I know it’s FB), WhatsApp (yes, I know it’s FB), Twitter, personal email, work email, Moshville Times email, Moshville Times website, text message, comments on here, Kik, Telegram, Duo, Skype, Beacon… In other words, if your only method of contacting/notifying me is posting on facebook, then you’re not trying hard enough and whatever it is can’t be that important.

Don’t contact me via Instagram. Not because it’s FB, but because its messaging system is crap.

And, yes, I appreciate the irony in my last facebook post being one pointing you to this blog post… I also appreciate that only about 5% of my “Friends” will likely ever see the damn link. But that’s one of the reasons I’ve had it.

With the number of them, she’ll be reading (or re-reading) them herself by the time we get ten books through. She’s 8 and she’s loved the first two Discworld ones. I wanted to sidestep to Truckers or Carpet People but she wants to continue into Equal Rites. I’m not going to argue!

Also, I don’t remember the end of Light Fantastic being so sad when I first read it – but since then I’ve been Twoflower. The line “You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home” really hit home, in the same way as Douglas Adams’ “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

“Well,” I told her, “He was a man who was arrested, basically for being black. And even though he was trying to do as he was told, the police knelt on his neck while he complained he couldn’t breathe for almost 9 minutes… and he died.”

Austin pipes in, “He was arrested for being black? When was this, like 50 years ago?”

“No – just over a week ago.”

It makes me glad that we’ve obviously raised great kids when their reaction was complete silence and looks of disbelief. They’re 7 and 12 and have more common sense and humanity than far too many supposed “grown ups”.

#BlackLivesMatter

Courtesy of the local library, Niamh came home with a copy of The Best Ever Baking Book by Jane Bull. A nice volume, not too many recipes, most of which are quite simple and require the most basic of ingredients and kit. So we picked up one or two things from Morrisons (being stuck behind two of the world’s slowest people at the self-serve) and enlisted Austin’s assistance. The recipe chosen was shortbread, and the ideas in the book suggested adding chocolate, peanuts, sweets and so on. All good.

OK, major issue one is that I don’t own any scales. I keep meaning to get some but I forgot (again) today, and I don’t even think the local Morrisons sells them anyway. Instead we decided to use maths and science to work out the ingredients. I think this is where it started to go wrong. Actually, caving to Niamh and agreeing to make the shortbread was probably the beginning of the end, but here we are.

Butter comes in 250g lumps, so I used a ruler to divide the block into five and sliced off two of them to give us out 100g. Caster sugar and flour both seem to have similar densities as water, which I found when I poured them into a measuring jug. 500g of each was a shade over 500ml. Convenient. Using this method, we got 50g of the former and 150g of the latter. Ish. Or thereabouts. Approximately.

Next came the mixing, which Austin thoroughly enjoyed (when not fighting Niamh off as she wanted to keep trying the raw mixture). We then took blobs of this and mixed them with various ingredients to make a ten biscuits (the recipe said 24), popped them onto a baking tray and popped them into the oven.

By ten minutes it was obvious things weren’t going quite to plan. Looking through the oven window it seemed we weren’t making biscuits but soup. Instead of crisping into bite-sized chunks, the shortbread was flattening out and bubbling like a pale witch’s brew. We ended up with one large segmented, soggy cookie; greasy and soggy and loaded with sugar it comes as no surprise that Austin wolfed down all of his, Niamh pretended to like hers and I ate my share out of sheer stubbornness and unwillingness to waste the ingredients. I’m going for “too much butter”.

Maybe I should get some scales.