MOTHA NATURE's Place ~Health, Wellness & Whatnot~

9 Things Women REALLY Should Know About Men: + 1 MORE to Grow On!

2011-12-15T10:11:00.000-05:00

I’m in the business of learning more about the natural inclinations of Most women AND Most men with regards to their behavioral psychology in and around relationships. I have many, many conversations about this subject with men I know personally- as well as with strangers- from various socioeconomic backgrounds, living and working within a multitude of income levels and a host of professions; including the unemployed. There is no shame in my thang! I’ll ask a brotha in the street why he just looked at a Sista’s booty as she walked away. I’ll question what prompts those seemingly instinctive behaviors, such as the immediate turning of the head and fixing of the eyes in a downward direction at an angle ranging between 75 and 45 degrees from ground to “standard” eye level, all in order to catch a glimpse of a woman’s booty as she knowingly or unknowingly passes by. I want to know what he noticed about her, first; what his booty-looking criteria are; and, what his thoughts were as his eyes gazed penetratingly at her bum. Was he aroused in those moments he stared? Was he envisioning a future with her as he watched? Further, had he even thought about his own thinking in that situation before? There is much to learn from the dialogue this line of questioning yields. So, I probe! I want to be in-the-know, in part, so I can share that information with you. I Love You. I encourage you to grow.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED:

Sistren: A whole lotta brothas have a whole lotta things going on. But, they don’t always feel comfortable sharing it with you for fear of what they assume your reaction will be. Men like to keep the peace in their relationships and will do so at any cost. Call it consideration or bitchassness, he has his reasons. Rather than be in judgment and play the victim, let’s FACE HIS TRUTH head on. This is more about understanding his core concerns and behaviors and accepting his right to be. The more information we have, the better decisions we can make. After reading this, you’ll no longer be able to say you didn’t know or to pretend these FACTS don’t exist. Most men’s needs, within the structure of a heterosexual monogamous relationship, are pretty straightforward and consistent, across the board. Don’t believe what I’m saying. Just BE IN-THE-KNOW.

1. He WANTs To Tell You MOST Things- Ideally, he would Love to be able to have someone to confide in. Even if he’s not hiding information, he just might not be talking about it. It may not have even crossed his mind. No one tells anyone everything. At best, MOST PEOPLE will only tell you SOME things {draw a Venn diagram}. There are those instances, however, where his silence equals all kinds of lies and deception. When he feels there’s a situation that threatens his security in the relationship, he won’t tell you anything! Some men will go to their graves with all the secrets they kept from the women they “loved”. If he is being dishonest or withholding critical data from you, he did himself a disservice long before he mislead you. And, he’s hurting because he has an unnecessary, unbearable weight on his shoulders. Know that this is all about his relationship with self. But, keep in mind, you may be silently contributing to his destructive behavior. Either way, you’ll need to focus on what you can garner from what he IS telling you. Ignoring the truth harms you both and it’s harmful to the union. Listen to what he’s really saying by remaining open; non judgmental. Just listen. He wants an ear, not a mouth. Can you give him that? Sure you can! :-) In this way, you’ll discover how he’s feeling and what his current pressing concerns are. Then, you can ascertain how you can assist. It may mean encouraging him to get help and/or becoming acquainted with who he really is as a person.

2. He Wants Acceptance- Acceptance is all about Honesty and value; Loving what you’ve got and choosing to work with it. He does not want to be judged. He just wants you to accept him exactly as he is; ACCEPT HIM FOR HIS TRUTH. Bottom line is, EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO BE WHO THEY ARE. Women place so many expectations on men. On the one hand, we want them to feel comfortable enough to do right. Yet, on the other hand, we have our own picture of what that should look like. Of course, We Should have that picture~ Before We Choose the person!! Rather than accepting This Person for who He Is, we expect him to be who we want him to be. As a result, many men begin to wear the masks you feel comfortable seeing them in. Of course, men must be accountable and responsible in their decision-making and actions. In turn, women must HONESTLY encourage them to do so. Part of The Art of Being Woman is creating an environment where your man feels comfortable enough to confide in you. In order to do that, you need to be honest with yourself about WHO HE REALLY IS and how that factors into the relationship. Are you willing and able to accept him, flaws and all? Or, are there some things you prefer not to see or know? If the latter is true, you have some major decisions to make concerning the future of your relationship, that is, if your own health and happiness are paramount. Being true to you is prerequisite to expecting the same from him.

3. You Cannot Change Him- so don’t Even try! OMG!! Are there still sistas tryna do this?!! Seriously??? #C’monSon. No one owns another. Therefore, no one can change another. Now you know the only one you can change is YourSelf. What you can do, with your womanly art, is INFLUENCE YOUR MAN TO CHANGE HIMSELF. Be his Inspiration! Be attentive in your listening, ask him what he likes, what he wants- and, listen! If you’re Willing, CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR according to what he tells you. Remember, real change begins in darkness and silence. It happens gradually. It’s unforced. Before anyone knows what’s happened, things are already different!

4. He Needs Space- Give the brotha some room!! Can he breathe? He has to have something to call his own! The household is really and truly your domain. If he happens to have a mancave within that, then bless his heart. Otherwise, his car/the bus/train/boat and wherever he goes are all the space he has to himself. Do not attempt to control every aspect of the relationship. Naturally, he will resist your efforts to keep him within your grasp. The challenge is to trust; to strike a balance between the urge to dominate and the power to release attachment. We must learn to honor his desire to get away from it all sometimes, even if that means spending longer periods of time away from us than we want him to. You would do best to utilize any separation time to improve yourself by honoring your time alone. You’ll be all the better for it, and so will he. Whether time away is several hours, days, weeks or months it can make reuniting that much sweeter. ;-)

5. He Needs Motivation- When I began this post, in October, that Kelly Rowland song, featuring Lil Wayne, “Motivation” was playing over and over in my mind, mostly because it was in heavy rotation on Pandora the day before I sat down to write. Anyway, in the middle of my writing, I decided to ask one of my male cousins to chime in with any enlightening thoughts he could provide. One of the first things he said was, “A man wants a woman who motivates him to be the the hunter/warrior he naturally is.”……Ahhh, of course he does!!.. {And, that’s why the song in my head.} What good is the hunt if he is to keep the rewards all to himself? A man wants to feel like he has a purpose when he goes out into the world to handle his biz. Now that you’re together, you are his main motivating factor. You’re the reason he makes it happen every day. And, quiet as it’s kept, you need to constantly remind him what it’s all for. When a man is out there doing his thing for his family day in and day out, he could use all the stimulation he can get. His job, regardless of what it is, isn’t that easy and no one can show him more appreciation than his reason for persevering through the ups and downs of it all. Sure more money, recognition, perks and career advancement are each substantial motivating factors in their own right. But, when a man is in a committed relationship with a woman, his enthusiasm comes from knowing she values his efforts. He wants you to motivate him. Just refer back to all the things he told you he likes and wants. You were listening, right? You’ll know what to do.

6. He Thrives Off Feeling Needed- A confident, secure and “independent” woman is one thing. But, when you show him you don’t need him, he’ll go looking for someone who does. Whether he gets off on feeling needed sexually, financially, emotionally, spiritually, hand-ily {LOL..like fixing things} or a combination of the above, depends on his core character and the dynamics of your particular relationship. The thing to know is that he wants to feel indispensable and irreplaceable. So long as you intend for your relationship to grow, you must learn to project that energy toward him. This may require some relearning on your part. Allow him to do things for you. Don’t take that away from him. Try not to be in control, all the time. Many of us have been reared by and/or around single mothers who constantly uttered the phrase I don’t need a man! Well, If you’re working on having a fruitful relationship with one, you do. And, he needs to feel it.

7. His Little Boy Lives- Despite that tough exterior you admire, he still has that sweet, innocent little boy he once was somewhere deep inside him {even if it was only for a moment during his real life growing up}. Many men didn’t even get to experience childhood when they were children, a whole ‘notha dynamic, that is! His little boy wants to feel Loved and cared for, protected, catered to, pampered and, most of all, SUPPORTED- just like your little girl. Yes, brothas are work!! So are women. And, isn’t it all worth it? A man has a special place in his heart for a woman who practices The Art of Nurturing. It makes him feel more secure, confident and Loved. Get in touch with your inner Motha Nature. Take care of him. Rest assured, your warmth will be treasured.

8. He LOVES Women- and can’t even help it. You should be glad for that..Right? What are you gonna do?! It’s his nature; it’s 80% of who he is!! {Heck, I’m being modest} What’s the harm in that, though? Keep in mind that MOST men who consciously decide to enter monogamous relationships aren’t going to behave as sexual adventurers carrying on with the uninhibited experiences of their past. HOWEVER, MOST MEN ARE CONNOISSEURS OF THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE. That is, they truly appreciate AND desire to experience a variety of women And Will Do So Over the Course of Their Entire Lives. The specifics of that statement will vary from man to man. And, whether or not he chooses to have those experiences in ways you may not be comfortable with, that is for the two of you to communicate about. But, one thing remains constantàMEN LOVE WHAT THEY LOVE AND DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. Period. You have no control over that and I didn’t make that Ishhh up! So, whether he’s into specific types of women, certain characteristics particular women possess, or just women in general, the interest and passion are there. You need to be aware of that {if you weren’t already}. You might not be tryna hear this right now, but, Sistas… I GOT NEWS!!! Like I done said before~ MOST MEN. #ImJusSayin #NowYouKnow More Importantly, Know That HE LOVES YOU.

9. Him WANTING MORE Does Not Mean YOU AREn’t ENOUGH- Now, this is going to take a bit of explaining. I told you men are Connoisseurs! Most Men tend to have that special one- or two, #JustKeepinItReal- that they prize over all the others. But, what’s the definition of a connoisseur? You’re probably not that happy with me right now and, most likely, you don’t really wanna hear this either, but, in most cases, more than most are willing to admit, IT’S NOT ONLY ABOUT YOU. You are in a relationship, right? So, it’s also about him and what he needs, wants, who he is. Get to know him better. I know, I know: Not My Man! Okay. You may very well be the only one he’s having physical intercourse with, but you may not be the only object of his fancy or attention. That’s okay, right? Do you discuss that? Or, is that the elephant in the room? On the extreme end, we all know of cases where a man is leading this seemingly wonderful home life with the most loving and beautiful woman, yet neither she nor we knew he had a whole other family around the corner for years. Whether you relate to this scenario through someone as close as in our own neighborhood or as far away as Hollywood, the fact remains that there exists some deep dysfunction in the Perfect Relationship as we know it. He obviously wanted more!! Does that mean his wife wasn’t enough? Perhaps that’s not the question we should be asking: Am I not enough for you? After all, how does one, in the aforementioned man’s position, answer that {even before he gets into that position, so to speak}? Perhaps, asking him questions like: What do you really like? What would an ideal relationship look like to you? Does it involve just me for always and forever? Or, is there a possibility that you would consider “being with” other women? How would you have handled his honest answer {had he given it to you early on in your relationship, way before the other family?} YOU HAVE TO ASK THE QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT TO GET THE ANSWERS. Maybe, the question for you is: DO YOU REALLY WANT THE ANSWERS? Regardless of your response, it has to be something you can live with. Your health and happiness are foremost. Remember that. Sadly, in most cases, the lines of communication between men and women aren’t open, so you may not ever get an honest answer. In more instances than you may be aware of, he wants the Ride Or Die {that’s you}, yet he, also, wants to avail himself to others, should the opportunity present itself. #ImJustTheMessenger How many times have you heard the phrase All men want their cake and eat it, too? What about this one: What’s better than pussy? NEW PUSSY! Did I make those up????? OH. Are you still listening??? Are you gaining anything from this? What will you walk away from here with? Are you happy and secure in your relationship with him? Do you know he truly cares about you? Can you feel and see his Love for you? Isn’t that level of security what matters most IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM? Then, there ya’ go! #RunWitIt

**BONUS +1** Head Is Important- Yup! I said it. And, you know what I mean. You weren’t ready for that one, huh?!! Listen, I surveyed a pool of roughly 100 men between the ages of 25-45 and 9 out of 10 rated the skill set, scientifically known as fellatio, as VERY IMPORTANT. In instances where it wasn’t that important for a man’s significant other to be able to perform, further questioning revealed that he would seek or was receiving oral stimulation elsewhere. It’s a fact! Men’s beef with women who do not perform for them is that said women don’t take issue with being on the receiving end of the equation. Do they have a point? Love it or not, they want what they want. What about you?! How important is it for you to be the recipient of oral inspiration? {Be honest.} How long can you go without it? And, if you’ve gone without it in your relationship, for whatever reason, did there come a time when you had to sit him down and have “the talk” about why that’s important to you? #One2GrowOn

9 Things WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEMSELVES

2011-09-07T13:12:00.000-04:00

This list is, by no means comprehensive {although lengthy enuff}, but it's My Nine and I'm sharing it with you. J These are things you may already know about yourself, but tend to forget while actively participating in other people’s lives, as we women are prone to do. I put together this list because I know we need to individually and collectively pay more attention to ourselves. So, here we go: 9 Things You Probably Already Know!

1. You Are The Answer~ Everything you need, you already have. Everything you want is within your reach. No need to look outside for too much. You wanna know? You already do. The signs are easy, usually pretty obvious and come relatively quickly: Everyday for the past week, you've been thinking about an empire-waist cut brown dress, and what's the first thing you see when you get off the elevator at the department store?!-- You've been deliberating between alternative medicine or months of treatment at the hospital and the doctors tell you there's not much they can do for you; that even with treatment, you may only have months to live-- He says he's divorced, but still wears his wedding ring-- He's 5 years "your man", but hardly ever comes home to you at night. Do you buy the brown dress? Or, settle for the less expensive blue one behind it? Do you resign to non-therapeutic traditional “treatment” that'll cause you months of uncertainty, pain and misery? Or, do you trust the Universe, yourself and a natural practitioner who's able to assist you with bringing quality and longevity to your own life? Do you go with what he told you about why he wears the ring: that he sees his dying mother everyday and doesn't want to forget to put it on one day, because if she found out he was divorced it would kill her immediately? Or, do you say kindly, "It was a pleasure meeting you. Call me when your mother recovers or dies”?? Do you remain unhappy and continue to live in that lie of a 5-year relationship you allowed to fester? Or, do you decide to move on and open yourself to the possibility of a man who will come home to you every night/most nights or whatever you desire? When we Remember that we are already complete, we can Recognize:

When the answers to the questions we pose don't undoubtedly point toward us, we are workin' in the wrong equation. Problem solved!!

2. You Are BeautyFull~ Inside AND Out.. No matter what your appearance. Remember that. It’s true. It may be a lot easier for some of us to acknowledge that we are beautiful on the inside. Many of us can think of all the wonderful qualities and caring characteristics we possess that make us radiant beauties from within. If not, take a few moments and ponder your inner beauty. Ask yourself, "How am I beautiful on the inside?" Surely, you can find a few ways. Now, what about the outside? What do you think about what you see? There’s a particular phrase I’ve been known to utter since childhood and I mean it every time I say it: Everyone is beautiful. You know that four-letter-antonym of beautiful that begins with the letter u? Well, it isn't ever in my vocabulary when I describe a person’s physical appearance. I'll tell you why- Love is the most beautiful of all things. And, if all things were created with Love, then all things contain beauty. Pure and simple! Even if you consider your own "look" to be less than acceptable to yourself {which you absolutely shouldn't!}; if you think some parts of your physical self are "pretty" and others are not; or, if you think your entire physical body is "hideous" in your eyes, you should know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that there is someone for everyone. You have to be able to see your own beauty before you will be able to accept that others may perceive you as such. Despite what you may think of yourself, there is at least one person out there who thinks otherwise. If you truly desire to come into contact with that person, you must be able to attract him/her into your energy field. Perhaps your desire is to be alone. No matter. Both scenarios are ultimately about you recognizing and realizing your own beauty. The most important point here: Beauty is as beauty does. If you have yet to embrace the fact that you are beautiful, begin to do so now.

Embrace Your Beauty: 1} Take comfort in the way you look! Spend time looking at yourself in the mirror each day and smiling at what you see. If you do not have a mirror, visualize your appearance and smile at that. As you do, gently touch those parts of you that might need extra attention. Think loving thoughts, sending that energy through your fingers and onto that area. 2} Make a change! I'm not advocating tummy tuck, I'm saying to flatten the tummy with food and exercise; firm up the booty, lose the weight, wear more flattering clothes to accentuate what you have; get a new hairdo-- those kinds of changes. 3} Own your beauty! Smile on the inside and it'll permeate throughout. When you feel better about yourself, you feel more confident about being yourself. You have a style that reflects what's important to you. When someone gives you a compliment, say "Thank you." Know that you are beautiful all the time. There are no "good" or "bad" days, only beautiful ones. 4} Treat others as you would like to be treated, as the saying goes. This action begets all kinds of positive vibrations. The Universe will smile on you and you will Shine!

3. You Possess Powers~ Women are especially powerful. Not only are we strong, we are wise, intuitive and genetically superior to men {a biological fact, meant not to insult men, nor to incite women..LOL}. Yes it’s true! One of our greatest powers rests in our ability to Love. Altruistic Love is in our nature. We were created to self-sacrifice and nurture in a Godly way. Whether you have felt this kind of love flowing through you for moments, days, weeks, months or years it is now within the breadth and depth of your experience, making you even more powerful. Perhaps, you haven't ever felt this way at all. Know that the energy/feeling is still within your potential. Now, that’s power! One of the greatest effects of our power is in our ability to influence those around us. Like seashells left on the beach by the ebbing water, those who are influenced by us are an assorted lot. There is power, too, in the ways we influence others to treat us and how we can influence others to act in our favor. And, yes, there is also power in our beauty! If we are not mindful of our ability to influence, we may make harmful choices. On the other hand, we must be careful not to use our influence to do harm to others. The more we Love, the more Powerful we become. But, first, we must learn to truly love ourselves.

Knowing that you are powerful isn't enough. Knowing that your power affects others isn't enough. Harnessing your power and exercising it in the name of Love is the cake that’s fit for consumption.

4. Your Little Girl Lives~ The little girl you once were still lives deep inside you. She wants, most of all, to feel loved and cared for. Her innocence is her armor and Love is her weapon. She knows she will always be protected. When she stumbles she picks herself up, dusts herself off and starts all over again. Her naiveté causes her to try and try again, to trust in the greater good and to never look back. Your little girl is pure and untainted. The Love she feels toward others is unconditional. There is nothing you can do to corrupt her. Because, no matter what she experiences, she remains unchanged, open and courageous enough to re-energize, re-vitalize, re-new and re-do over and over again. She is ever ready, willing and able to face the future, come what may. Your little girl lives so that you may go on. She is your fountain of youth, restoring you, reminding you of brighter days. Her light will not diminish. Even though your physical body outgrew hers and you two are worlds apart, and, although, you have neglected her by forgetting she is still there, Her Spirit Lives! Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Encourage her to keep on keepin' on, just as she does for you.

Your little girl reminds you to do more and be bigger than you already are.

5. You Are NOT a Man~ I know. Sounds, obvious enough, right? Not! Many women, although blessed with the anatomy of females, think they're men!! I don't mean that they think they're physically men, but that they behave as men do. Don't misunderstand me, I'm aware that you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do. And, no, I'm not speaking about sexual identity. {Well, actually, I am..This is directed toward heterosexual women who are currently in or desire to be in long-term relationships with men. There, that's clearer.} Bottom line, Let a man be a man....Sheeshhh!! Everyone has a role to play in their relationships with others, intimate and otherwise. In order to fully embrace your role, you must know what it is and have a working knowledge of best practices to ensure your success at it. For some of us, this may come quite naturally. Others of us are, quite honestly, fighting our true feelings. Time to break out the High-Science and History books! You'll need to have answers to the following questions at the ready: {again, I’m referring to heterosexual women} What is a woman's nature?--How is she naturally inclined to behave, in general? In relation to man? What are her predominant characteristics/attributes- given her genetics, anatomy, biology, physiology, chemistry? Why? How do you know? Similarly, How is man naturally inclined to behave, in general? In relation to women? What are his predominant characteristics/attributes? And, why? How do you know?

Once scientifically sound and historically based answers to said questions are obtained, identity confusion regarding womanhood and manhood will dissipate, no longer contributing to power struggles in heterosexual relationships.

6. You Do Not NEED A Man~ Truth is, you do not NEED anyone, when you’re vibrating on a certain frequency. But, who says you shouldn't WANT? Certainly, I'm not suggesting that! {No way} But, there are so many things we can do for ourselves, especially, when we are by ourselves. If you've ever heard of parthenogenesis, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. We are so far away from that, though!! Anyway, that doesn't matter for this conversation, because what I aim to express is the value in self-nurturing. Sometimes, we forget to fulfill our own needs.... you know, the kinds of things we can only do for ourselves, like filling in all the empty spaces we find ourselves wanting others {especially men} to fill for us. That's why it's so crucial to begin to fathom your worth and take extra special care of yourself. Younger women, especially, should gain an appreciation for attempting self~mastery before entertaining the concept of sharing any part of themselves with a man. While it is absolutely Wonderful to be engaged {double entendre} with and to men, it is not, by any means, an absolute necessity. Men, on the other hand, are, ultimately, dependent {there goes that word again} upon engaging in relations and relationships with us. Not only is their survival as a species {for lack of a better term} contingent on our ability to procreate them, but, as I am sure, you are well aware, they need us in so many other ways {gotta luv 'em}. Remember: Practice those powers and hone all your skills.

The next time you feel like you just can't do whatever it is for yourself, REMEMBER: Other Women have done far greater things before. And, YOU can do it, too- so long as you are WILLing. Suck it up and Just Do It! J

7. You Need Your Own Stuff~ Whether it's your own space to think; that special chair of yours; your own personal “Friday Night Spa” time; or, a day that's just for you, it's essential that you have your own stuff. It is absolutely crucial that we celebrate and center ourselves with personal time and some special items of our choosing. Women constantly give so much to others. In order to maintain your health and happiness, you need to schedule regular check-in times with your stuff. Remember, you are the answer. You’re beautyfull, powerful and precious. When you neglect to spend quality time with your stuff, you risk displaying passive aggressive behaviors toward others. No one wants that! You know the saying, “When Mama's happy, everyone's happy!"

When you treat yourself and your stuff with the respect they deserve, it compels those around you to do the same.

8. You Are A Precious Resource~ You do know that, don't you? Great!! {Whew} Then, are you also aware that you do not belong solely to yourself?-- hence, the term "resource". You are Planet Earth's CROWN JEWEL. Just as humanity depends upon your wellbeing, so, too, does nature herself. And, whether or not you personally have children of your own or who are in your care, YOU HAVE DEPENDENTS! Humanity and Nature are dependent upon you to promote Love~Consciousness. It's what makes the world go 'round. Love is the source and breath of life. The more of it you are {Woman}, the better the quality of life for everyone on the planet. No one knows Love more than you. For, you possess the sacred feminine principle- that's what makes you so precious in the first place! You are rare. *NOTE-- Not every anatomically correct female is a Woman and being female is vastly different from being feminine.... we’ll go there another time, though. Just as the earth's precious minerals enhance the soil around them and contain properties that benefit all who come into contact with them, one of the bi-products of Woman is that you inspire the men around you to become more humane by aligning themselves with the feminine principle {For the few of you "small-minded" folks who may be here right now, I am not referring to men's sexuality. To be clear, men aligned with the feminine principle are not homosexual. Again, more on this subject another time}. As the most precious of all resources known to man,

Your value is numberless and your weight is measurable only by the impact you have on others.

9. You Must Share~ You have an obligation to share simply because you are blessed to be a Woman. You must share what you know, share who you are, share what you have and share some more. Mothers must share with their daughters. Share resources, share advice, share wisdom on relationships, intimacy, everything! Sisters must share among each other. We can learn a great deal from one another. When we share our experiences, others can learn from them, avoiding similar experiences. Sharing inspires. Share with your husbands and partners and lovers and brothers and suns and all the men in your life. There are things men do not know that they need to know about women like: how to be respectful; how to better communicate, etc. Sharing Is Caring.

Woman is synonymous with sharing. We share our bodies, our ideas, our kind words, our entire lives. As the saying goes, "When you have, you give." Such is the case with women.

ON BEING "SINGLE"

2011-06-07T12:02:00.001-04:00

This Single Ishhh is for the birds!!!!!!!!!

I'm used to being Catered To; Assisted; Protected;..... Having Someone to Carry My Bags.... Sheesh!! No disrespect to anyone else, but, I Am NOT one of those women who boasts about being strong and independent. STRONG? That's a given. I birthed three children into the world {two of them, in the southeastern corner of my bedroom..without meds, monitors or my mama!} INDEPENDENT? Of what/whom? What does that mean, really?? See, that's part of the problem. Everyone wants to claim independence as if companionship, partnership and intimate relationships equate captivity, dominion or enslavement of some kind. We live in such an individualistic society, where a false sense of independence is glamorized.What of that? Doesn't our mere existence in this realm, on this planet, in hueman form, dictate that we form relations with others so that we may thrive? And, aside from attaining solitude for spiritual reasons, quietly going through a healing process or when partaking in some sort of rites-of-passage, who wants to be alone, anyway?
There's even a time when all of that is done as a group!

In indigenous societies, the single woman, let alone- the Single MOTHER, was an anomaly! There was a community of women that looked after one another. Women had mothers, sisters, sister~wives, cousins, friends.... Each Other!!! Not many of us have that today. We are isolated and even isolate ourselves, for a various reasons. For one thing, we are socialized Not to need anyone!! I can do it all by myself! It is the American way, isn't it? The modern way to be? Perhaps. I, for one, don't desire that. From what I know, women Need partners. In Partnership, We Shine.

Ooooo.. that reminds me of a Trey Songz song where he says something like, "We shine togetha!" {but, don't quote me quoting him; I'll find it and post it at the bottom of the page. But, Of Course!;-)} And, why I always gotta bring Him up in my posts?? I don't know what it is about that young man.. *blushing*.... Just be happy I'm not sneakin Lil Wayne up in here.. I just LuvsMeSumHim ... teeheeheehee.. OK, OK, ENOUGH ABOUT THEM!!
Back to the subject at hand:

As I was saying, women tend to flourish in relationships. Whether it's women working together, supporting other women, being involved in intimate relationships with, etc... or, women in engaging in supportive, healthy relationships with men as partners. When I say partners, I don't necessarily mean equal partners, in the ways that one might think. Each individual has a role within a relationship. That those roles are equal is not prerequisite. Nor, is it effective, normal or within the natural order of things. But, more about that in my book. So long as all are happy, healthy, honest {you know how I feel about honesty} and evolving, I consider The Relationship WinNing!

No one is an island..it's true! We may be able to survive on a deserted island alone, but aren't you aiming to Thrive? I Am. And, I Will NOT Do It Alone. Not for long, anyway. Now, I do have lots of phenomenal men in my life {none of which is My Man, nor would I want any of them to be... ewww} And, don't get me wrong, I Am Happy being by myself, in this moment {Ok, that changes from time-to-time: day-to-day; sometimes, moment-to-moment..but, you get the bigger picture!}. I Am Conscious of and I Honor the fact that this space/time I reside in is overflowing with all kinds of great and wonderfull possibilities~ all mine, for the choosing!!! How sweet is that?!! It's like receiving multiple letters of invitation to various events. All look appealing. What are you going to do? Decisions, decisions...You can either hold on to the invitations: rereading them over and again, feeling content that you were invited to so many affairs to begin with. Or, you can take it a step further and initiate a selection process: beginning to narrow the invitations down according to date and time and other such criteria, before choosing which one{s} to attend. I, am interested in the latter. One of my mottos is Choose Something! The very act of choosing something propels you forward through the planning and execution stage, then on to achievement and, on to the next episode. Yes! That is what I have done. By choosing to welcome this point in time with open arms, I have taken a step in the direction, also of my choosing, leading me closer to the exact point in time where I envision myself being. I'm almost there!!!

Aaah!! I get it! So, THAT's what THIS IS~ a Rite-of-Passage!! Like the birthing process, I have to go it alone. Rites-of-passage are meant to be temporary embarkations. Only, you board your own vessel and are both passenger and captain during the journey that takes place over the course of an undetermined period of time. Although this is proving to be a challenging phase, I vow to fully immerse myself into every aspect of it; to delve into the thick of it, facing it without fear. The "worst" part is anticipation, expectation, value placement. I'm open to this evolutionary process and all it has to offer. I view it as an adventure, because I know I am meant to gain insight, clarity and a fuller awareness of my own transformation as it is occuring. Once this interval is over, I'll be more equipped to partake in more elevated social interactions. So, for now, I Embrace Doing For Self; Protecting Self; and, Carrying My Own Bags! I Know that this, too shall pass. Besides, flying birds symbolize freedom.

**Ok, so I was incorrect about the Trey Songz lyrics! It's Fly Together, which, by the way, happens to be even more appropriate for this post! Go figure!!!!!!!

***DISCLAIMER~ I do know that men are more than just bag carriers. They mean so much more to me than that. :-)

WOMAN POWER: Part I

2011-05-23T22:35:00.002-04:00

PREFACE

I began this post shortly before “Mother’s Day”. It was inspired by my fleeting aggravation with society, in general, and women, in particular {fleeting, because I overstand the bigger picture but can, at times, be temporarily overcome with emotion}. My intention with my children has always been to groom them into confident, self-aware individuals whose primary allegiance is to Self {“To thine own self, be true”}. I teach them to Be Apprentices of Self, Aspiring to Mastery. To that end, I have made sacrifices and conscious choices APLENTY. Not saying all my choices were the greatest, but I made them with Specific Intentions. In other words, I Chose to Do Something rather than doing nothing at all. In that way, I Am Victorious. {I Teach my suns and Nurture my daughter~ more on that in my forthcoming book}. At the end of the day, I Am Doing My Part by contributing to the betterment of society through my efforts to improve self, family, community and world. What more?

My original objective for this post, was to talk about how mothers, as primary teachers, should nurture their daughters more: Be affectionate toward them; Teach them to internalize their energies; Assist in raising their self-esteem; Supplement their education with gender-specific information; Foster a routine of setting and achieving personal goals; and, Instill a sense of awareness regarding their responsibility to themselves, family, community and world. But, now that I have been influenced by all the recent “Beyonce Buzz”~ which, admittedly, I know very little {but quite enuff} about {not having been able to stomach watching her new video in its entirety and without having seen last night’s CEREMONY on the “Billboard Awards”}~ I need to address some of the issues it presents. Here goes:

If You Are Willing To Do Better By OUR Daughters, Our Children, then, what I am about to say should be of interest to you.

Although, personally, I’m really not interested in celebrity goings-on, Spiritually, I NEED to speak, in lieu of the incessant silence around the mis-education of our young people, particularly our daughters. This mis-education emanates from Women perpetually relinquishing Their Individual And Collective Power. It is deeply rooted in Religion, stems from Government and is propagated through the long-reaching branch called Media. The numerous ways in which all manner of media portray relationships between men and women, including teenagers, is representative of the unequal distribution of power among the sexes. Distribution of power?? What does that mean? In actuality, it doesn’t mean a d*mn thing! Power cannot be distributed. It is an ideal, a value, an illusion symbolized by those things people attach to it.

Personal Power Must Be Realized If Collective Power Is To Be Actualized.

LAST NIGHT'S BROADCAST OF BILLBOARD AWARDS

PRESIDENTIAL FIRST LADY, Michelle Obama, GAVE HER NATIONALLY TELEVISED ENDORSEMENT of TWO STEREOTYPICAL IMAGES OF BLACK WOMEN~ The HISTORICALLY OVERSEXED, SELF-LOATHING Black Woman AND The New-And-Improved INDEPENDENT, STRONG BLACK WOMAN *{Self-Loathing apparent in the blonde weave and two-shades-too-light facial foundation #JustSayin; I discuss I.S.B.W. Syndrome in my forthcoming book}. These images, although consistently promulgated across all media, were highlighted and praised for their presence in, Pop-Culture Vixen, Beyonce’s, newly-released video as well as in her overall body of work. Of Beyonce, both performer AND person, Michelle Obama stated, “I am very proud of her, very proud of the woman that she is, the role model she provides to so many women.” Really?!! {Questioning the part about the ‘role model she provides’.. Hmmm…} No disrespect to individuals, I’m just pointin’ some stuff out. Now, granted, the Beyonce{s} of the world have their place in it and a right to the artistic expression of their choosing~ referring to Beyonce’s new song with an unrelated quote from Jay Electronica, “I ain’t glad at {her}, but I ain’t mad at {her}.” I respect her right to BE {no pun intended}. What is unfortunate, though, is that she has such a profound platform from which to address an enormous audience of individuals that comprise, a pretty liberal {meaning considerable/ substantial/ sizeable} percentage of the collective consciousness, otherwise known as the masses. My opinion is that if you’re not going to utilize your heightened visual presence as a resource to enlighten and elevate the collective consciousness, then WTF are you really doin’?? Accepting fame, in my mind, means you, also, accept being a positive role model as part of the package.#GuessImAloneInThinkinThat Similarly, I feel that even in the absence of fame and fortune, each one of us has an obligation to be the best example we know how. Perhaps that IS the best B can do. According to some of my bredrin, She jus’ a bahtree dolly, anyway!! Perhaps. However, I happen to think she is fairlykindasorta intelligent. ;-) Regardless, she, ultimately, makes her own choices about who she is and wants to be. {Even though she claims, in her new video, “This is how they made me.”} Talent, notwithstanding, Is SHE The Best Choice to Mentor Young Women in Leadership? To Be Positive Women Who’ll Bring About the kind of Planetary Evolution We All Need? To Build a Nation? To Run The World? I think Not! NOPE! #NotAtAll. SMH.. Enough about her!

IF THERE IS TO BE POSITIVE CHANGE IN THE WORLD, THERE MUST, FIRST, BE POSITIVE CHANGE IN THE MINDS OF WOMEN. For this to occur, young women must be taught to master themselves {Spiritually and Mentally THEN Sexually}.

Who really cares about Black women’s futures? How we fare in relationships? Who is concerned about enriching the minds of our youth? If not Black women/Black mothers, then, whom? Who is steering our daughters AWAY from pouring significant amounts of energy into boys/men? Who is driving them TOWARD filling themselves up ‘til their cup{s} runneth over? Self-Love is measured through self-actualization and consistent character evolution. It becomes visible through one’s actions. We express what we possess. Chaos on the outside is an expression of chaos on the inside. The collective will not thrive if we, individuals, do not commit to doing better.

WOMEN, Not Girls, RUN THE WORLD. We Do. This is True. That being said, ironically, all the craziness that exists in the world today is due, in large part, to our choices. The animalistic behavior, confusion, insensitivity, madness, violence and downright lack of Love in the world are all manifestations of things WOMEN have and have NOT done. Our current reality began in the minds of women. In case you didn’t already know, Woman Is The Source. Yes, I said it!! YOU are at the center of everything that matters. You bring forth Life. From You all things flow. When You think upon a thing, it is done. When You speak about a thing, it is law. When You offer a thing, it is accepted. When Woman Acts, Man Responds. He WILL Do Anything For You {He can’t help himself.. ‘Tis Nature, Baby!}

*More on all of that another time!!!

WHAT TO TAKE AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS

It is the duty of {otherwise sane and substance-free} parents to lead by example; to instill a mindset of continually wanting to better oneself; to provide access to materials, people and places that affirm what is being taught at home; to promote practicing those principles that will ensure improvement of skills and achievement of goals; to guide toward accessing opportunities consistent with broadening experience and accumulating wisdom; to regularly assess what is being taught and what has been learned; AND to Vehemently Reject All Else! There is no middle ground when imparting values is in question.

{So, now you know~ If Charlie Sheen’s crazy, then I am, too. And, So Are You! Ok, so you’re judging him because he is/was a substance abuser. But, I'm Not! Nor, Will I Be Dismissed for SPEAKING MY TRUTH. I Will Continue to Do So, Without fear/ Without apology, Whenever Spirit Moves Me. Otherwise, I will be silent. Please Remember that I Respect Our Differences, Even though America Does Not. If that makes Me radical, crazy, uppity or out-of-line…You’re Next!- Orwell, Huxley, McCluhan..I Am Not Alone.}

***Mamas/ Aunties/ Sistas/ Friends~ GO GIVE THE GIRLS IN YOUR LIFE BIG HUGS, We All Need ‘Em!!!!!!!!!

As usual, I have so much more to say, but this is hardly the place for a manuscript! Thanks for taking the time to read. Much, Much More.. Soon Come!!!

*Side Note~ Song lyrics of B’s new video remind me of so many psychotic b’s I know!! And, we {self not included} wonder why they think we crazy!

~Health Is Wealth~

Tribute to a Virgo I Absolutely Adore..

And, We Could All Use More of This..

FEELIN' GOOD

2011-04-27T13:26:00.001-04:00

Motha Nature doesn't always feel GREAT! But, she always feels Good.

This time, last year, I felt Absolutely Fabulous!! I was completely IN LOVE with MYSELF: that is, my higher self AND my human self {most especially, my physical attributes}. I celebrated each unique curve as my wardrobe shifted from oversized to perfectly tailored {with a few items being, I must admit, quite revealing, actually,..tee hee hee}. Now, I don't own a full-length mirror, but that was of no consequence. Mind you, I didn't spend a whole lot of time picking a particular outfit, either. I simply felt remarkable~ from the inside out! Clothing was merely an accessory to that, enhancing the sparkle that emanated from the innermost regions of my Womanness. I wasn't the slimmest I've ever been, nor was I the heaviest. I was somewhere in~between and lovin' every inch of it!

You see, last year, around this time, I was concertedly celebrating my femininity, freedom and fresh start in life. To elaborate, it was sort of an out-of-body experience. For the most part, I was on, the proverbial, cloud nine. I was truly in a really beautiful space ALL THE TIME. Love was in the air and it was EveryEffinWhere!!!

Simultaneously, I was completely focused on accomplishing short term goals AND being open to going with the flow of opportunities as they presented themselves. I was handling my personal affairs on multiple levels~ networking; improving my family's condition; sharpening my skill of calling forth desires into existence; learning lots; growing tremendously and, generally, enjoying myself while doing it. Not to mention {but I will!}, I had several suitors of the complementary persuasion who treated a sista like a full-out Goddess! To say the least, I indulged in those experiences, partook of pleasures I had not previously encountered; savored singular moments until I grew full of the substance of those days. Ahhh...

TODAY, Am I feeling as WonderFull and Magnificent as I detailed above? Not so much. Most days, I honestly do feel Great!!! Really, I do. Though, right now, in this very moment, on this day, I feel....alright. And that's good, too. I do have just as many.. no.. I have even MORE reasons to celebrate~ I am still handling my biz and making things happen for my family. I am still as confident in the cuteness of my curves and I feel equally as happy {inside~out} as I did before. And, YES, I am Still Completely In Love With Myself. So, What's missing this time? you ask. Well, every day just ain't the same. All things, admittedly, ARE NOT as they were.. this time last year. Let's just say that the absence of certain, highly significant, treasures is posing a bit of a challenge for me. Ok. I'll just spell it out! Of late, I haven't partaken in any pleasures nor indulged in any experiences with members of the aforementioned complementary persuasion. *Boo..Hoo..Hoo!! Waaaaa!* It's true. For starters, THAT WOULD HELP!!! You know, THERE IS a particular of pep in one's step, a special glare in the eye, a certain glow in the skin~ all gained from partaking and indulging. The lack thereof, My Loves, is why I do not smile as brightly and look as lively as I did, this time last year. Yes, I know that I Am Great!!! But, right now, I'm feelin' GOOD.

You know what else? After having written this post, I'm starting to feel even BETTER!!! After all, I've got Many Moments To Savor!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy YourSelf and Savor Your Moments whether your feeling good, great or whatever.
~Health Is Wealth~

For Your Listening Pleasure...

THE NEW "BEAUTIFUL"

2011-04-25T04:58:00.008-04:00

THE CREATORS OF THE IMAGE DIDN'T EVEN EMBODY IT!!! IT'S A GENETICALLY INFERIOR ANOMALY..EVEN FOR THEM!! BUT, SOMEHOW, YOU BOUGHT INTO IT! ODDLY, AND, ALL TOO OFTEN, THAT WHICH IS DIFFERENT BECOMES THE PRIZE. THAT WHICH OTHERS POSSESS, YOU WANT.

So, this is what people aspire to?->

MEANWHILE..

THEY WERE EXAMINING HER.
STUDYING HER.
HUMILIATING HER.
SECRETLY,
ADMIRING HER..

THIS{BELOW}

IS A RESULT OF THAT
{ABOVE}

They..

..Look Like..

..This

{Scary!!!}

{YIKES!!!}

..When What They Really Want..

Is This!!!

And This!!

But, THIS Is

Pop Culture

Gone

MADDD!!!

Take a LOOK AT THESE

FACES....

Who Are These People??

WE BECAME The "Beauty"
THEY CREATED!!
*cringing*

What Do YOU SEE???

IT'S THE WHITENING OF "OUR" CULTURE!!

Alabaster..

Blond..

Crazy!!..

Supposedly, More
"Natural"..

More..

Reflective
of "Us"..

Really..???

WE WANT SO MUCH TO ALTER WHAT WE HAVE,

RATHER THAN

TO LOVE AND ACCEPT IT.

How Far Will We Go..?

“I’m my own man, and as such I do my own thing. When black women stop straightening their hair and wearing wigs and weaves, when white women stop getting lip and butt injections and implants, when bald men stop getting hair transplants, and when people stop getting nose jobs and cosmetic surgery then I’ll stop using the ‘cakesoap’ and we’ll all live naturally ever after. Until then F**k you all.” ~Vybz Kartel

THIS IS AN AD FOR THE SKIN WHITENING FACEBOOK APP
BEING MARKETED TO INDIANS
WHO WISH TO LIGHTEN THEIR PICTURES!!

How Far..

Before,

It's Too Late?

How Far Will We Go

Before

WE ARE

NO MORE??

Are We Already

Too Far

GONE...

I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THAT I HAVE NOT LOST MY SENSE OF SIGHT, YET WHAT I SEE, SOMETIMES, MAKES ME WONDER.. IS IT ME? AM I THE ONE WHO ISN'T ALL THERE? {notice the irony} NOT ONLY DOES ALL OF THE ABOVE LOOK CRAZY, IT IS CRAZY! IT IS, ALSO, VERY PAINFUL TO LIVE WITH {MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY}. I REFUSE TO GROW NUMB AND SENSE~LESS TO THESE KINDS OF OBVIOUS PHYSICAL ABNORMALITIES/ ILLNESSES AND PERCEIVE THEM AS NATURAL/ NORMAL OCCURRENCES; SIMPLE CHOICES ARRIVED AT IN A VACUUM. I WILL NOT PRETEND THAT THIS IS NOT A DIRECT RESULT OF PURE MADNESS!!

ALL OF IT IS SELF-HATRED

AND AN ADDICTION TO EVERYTHING OTHER THAN SELF

MADE MANIFEST.

OO-Glee

NOT

THE NEW

BEAUTIFUL!!!

IS IT???

~Health Is Wealth~

*I'm So ThankFull For Mine!!! :-)

CAN WE TALK??? Really?

2011-04-18T10:00:00.003-04:00

In the words of Comedienne Joan Rivers,

Ok. BROTHAS.. Many of you claim YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO TELL HER how you're really feeling; share some of your innermost desires. You say you just wish you could talk to her openly, honestly, without judgment or fear of repercussions from her. You really want her to just listen. Isn't that true?

And, SISTAS.. Most of us say WE WISH HE WOULD TALK TO US MORE

about how he really feels; share his innermost desires with us. We say we just want him to feel comfortable enough to discuss anything with us, no matter what it is. We want him to stop lying to us simply because he thinks we can't handle the truth. Right?

Are Y'all Really Tellin' The Truth???

Come on, now..

BE HONEST!!!

WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK???
I Think:

ALL OF THE ABOVE SOUNDS GOOD. BUT, I DON'T THINK MOST MEN REALLY WANT TO COME TOTALLY CLEAN ABOUT HOW THEY TRULY FEEL. FOR MANY, LIVING THE LIE IS EASIER AND MORE EXCITING. A LOT OF MEN HAVE GROWN SO ACCUSTOMED TO BEING AN IMAGE RATHER THAN A REALITY THAT IT WOULD TAKE FAR GREATER WORK, THAN THEY'RE WILLING TO COMMIT TO, STAND IN THE LIGHT OF THE TRUTH.

ON THE WOMEN'S SIDE, LIVING WITH THE IMAGE HE PROJECTS IS LESS WORK THAN IF SHE IS FORCED TO DEAL WITH THE REAL LIVE VERSION OF HIM. MANY WOMEN, LOVE THEIR OSTRICH LIFE. MOST WOMEN PRETEND THEY WANT TO HEAR IT ALL. WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY DO, THEY CHOOSE NOT TO FACE IT HEAD-ON. INSTEAD, THEY BECOME ANGRY AND BITTER. THEY WILL EITHER ATTEMPT TO CONTROL HIM WITH RESTRICTIONS AND ULTIMATUMS OR SIMPLY WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL.

Scenario for the Sistas:

One day, during the long train ride home, he met a woman. They had casual conversation. They continue to see each other once a week on the train and have casual conversation. She is married. She's cool to talk to and has a pretty smile. He is attracted to her. He wants to exchange phone numbers with her so they can develop a friendship. He doesn't, though. He's going to explain the whole scenario to you, first.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

Scenario for the Brothas:
One day, while doing her weekly shopping at the market, that really nice, handsome man in the bread aisle, who always pulls the package of bread she likes from the top shelf, finally introduced himself as the owner of the market. He said he looks forward to helping her and makes a special effort to do so, every week, while he's there checking on things at the store. She told him she's married. He told her he is, too. Then, he asked her if she would join him for a cup of tea at the cafe, there in the market, next week, before she does her shopping. He tells her to just think about it. She really wants to. But, she will detail the entire scenario to you, first.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

**Please leave a comment below.**

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK???
How would you respond? Would one, or both situations be ok with you?

I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!!!

9 Things Women Should Understand About Dating

2011-04-16T00:19:00.001-04:00

During most of my high school years and throughout much of my time in college, I felt extremely lonely when it came to the dating scene. Many of my friends were hooked up with someone and I never felt like anyone was interested in me..at least, not the brothas whose attention I wanted, anyway. In all honesty, I turned away many a young man I wasn't interested in, for one reason or another. The way I saw it, the ones I desired, weren't paying me any mind at all. In fact, a few seemed to be downright ignoring me! You know those teen television shows/movies when they depict the generic high school hallway scene where the boy and girl are approaching each other, looking all dreamy and whatnot? The scene usually plays out this way:
He's the popular guy and she's average. He has a huge smile on his face that he appears to be flashing at her. They get closer. He walks past the average girl, nearly knocking her down, only to meet up with the "pretty" girl, who was standing behind the average girl the entire time!! That was my life. In hindsight, it really wasn't. That's just how I perceived it back then. I had tons of esteem issues. And, like many young women, I placed way too much emphasis and energy into trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why nobody wanted to be with me. I was so busy being a victim, I didn't even realize that I Was BeautyFull~ Inside and Out!!! And, less importantly {but, wish I woulda known then}, despite what I didn't feel about myself, brothas were really diggin me on the Dee El!

It wasn't until reuniting with old friends on this wonderful social networking website named Facebook via that fabulous, fairly modern invention known as the internet, that one of my dearest college friends explained the prevailing male mindset, from his perspective, to me. He basically told me that because I was perceived as a nice girl, the {decent} brothas on Campus knew if they got involved with me, they'd have to put in work. P.S.~Most of the male population, at the University, knew my virginity status and, therefore, did not want to be my first. They, already, understood the intense emotional connection and neediness, if you will, many women exhibit as a result of having had their first experience. {Even in their youth, men know more about us then we know about ourselves!} Bottom line, we were all young and no one was looking to become involved in long-term relationships or get married.. Except, for most of the women! My Loves, I tell you all of this to address one simple fact~ There are many things we women don't understand about ourselves; about men; and, about dating. Right now, let's discuss the latter in 9 key points.

The Empress sits in Her Royal Court surrounded
by a multitude of Suitors. Each deems himself deserving of her hand. All will
take their stance. Only He who Wisely considers the Magnitude of his approach
YET Advances in Pursuit Will Acquire her Affection. Like the Lion, He Prances
Assuredly, Boldly, with Courage. He is the Worthiest of all~ a God among men.

9 Things Women Should Understand About Dating:

You Are The Prize~ He knows this. Do you? So long as you know it, you will receive treatment in kind. He'll be willing to put in work if he wants to be with you. Do Not expect or accept anything less. Like my wise young brotha, RahGor says, "If he don't sweat for you, don't let him sweat on you." BAMMM..Period. End of statement. Which part don't you understand?? ..... Exactly.
You Have The Power~ You are the one who gets to choose if, when and where the relationship is going. It's all in your hands! Sistas, we are famous for relinquishing our power. Don't allow him to dictate how you should respond. Be proactive {that's a med, right? Proactive?}. YOU MUST SET THE STANDARD..I talk more about that in: 7 Things Women Should Let Men Do For Them While Dating. Trust your intuition. "Who feels it knows it."~Bob Marley If it doesn't feel right, chances are highly likely that it is not.
It's All About You~ If he's not making an effort to make you feel that way, that's a sure sign he isn't the best candidate. Develop a routine of checking in with self to see if you are alright throughout the process. Turn your focus inward. Use all your senses. What's your gut feeling when you're together. Do you like what you see {with your intuitive and visible eyes}? Ask yourself logical questions like, Would you employ an unskilled plumber over a professional, if you're seeking top performance? YOU need and want the best possible man for the job. There Are Plenty of Qualified Applicants!! You have to really know that. If he isn't the one, don't settle for less. Remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE. You allowed him access inside the heavily guarded gates of your stadium. Eventually, he's going to want snacks and souvenirs! So, he should, at least, be willing to learn your language; become fluent in You. An unwillingness to do so would indicate a lack of commitment, on his part, to authentically experience the dating process with you. The dating arena is where he gets to show off his skills- to you. That's a requirement.
His Actions = His Issues~ He has Rights and Reasons for doing what he does. Everyone is Free to make their own decisions regarding their behavior. Do not own his actions. They are not your responsibility. Sometimes, we energize thoughts like He did this, So does that mean .... ? In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't even matter. Don't devote too much time and effort into deciphering his behavior. The purpose of him participating in the dating process with you, in the first place, is to win the prize! That's on him.
He Might Not Advance~ Either he or you will determine that. Some men self-destruct. They eliminate themselves from the competition before it even gets underway. There are many reasons a man may default before the match is over. Some possible explanations: a)He lacks endurance. b)He decides he doesn't have what it takes to win you. c)He's not willing to put in the work. d)He lacks self confidence; and, more... Dating is a trial phase. You get to know each other; see if it's something that can work. It may or may not be! If not, that's ok. Whether he was or wasn't "that into you" isn't significant. He eliminated himself from the competition. Be Thankful that the way is now clear for yet, another, possibility.
He Does Not See You~ You, as a unique individual, are a foreign concept to him. As much as women are known for saying, "All men are alike!", we are known, equally, for admitting, "I thought he was different." We women love hard. We do our best to see each man as a separate entity filled with potential. We open our hearts and our entire being, faithfully anticipating that this one is The One. We seek out subtle nuances that, in our minds, differentiate him from the group he would otherwise be cast with. We even think we can change him! Anything is possible is our motto each and every time we meet someone new. Like Jesse Jackson, we "Keep Hope Alive!!" That's a great outlook to have. Unfortunately, though, they don't typically think that way about us. In his mind, all women are alike: We say one thing, mean another and act a whole notha way, altogether! Women don't know what they want and will settle for just about anything. On top of men's already preconceived notions about us, they are certain that once they start hittin all the right spots, we'll be their ride or die. They could be screwin somebody else in our bed {while we're layin right there!!} and convince us we must have been dreaming! {Maybe, that's a little extreme..but, you get the picture.} Remember that song, "It Wasn't Me" Some of y'all know exactly what I'm saying is true!! Where do you think men get those ideas from? Where do they get the gall to even try that ishhh out in the first place? At what point in the dating phase did he realize he could turn you against yourself? ..Hmmm.. You have to mean what you say and say what you mean. Otherwise, Sis..You mess it up for All Of Us!
He Will Test You~When it comes to dating, most men are basically playing a game. There's nothing wrong with games. Games challenge us to achieve preexisting goals and to set new ones; they test our endurance; prompt creativity; and, require critical thinking. Sure, he likes you and wants to get to know more about you, but he, also, wants to learn what makes you tick. He even wants to find out, as one of my bredrin told me, verbatim, "If she got a little freak in her". He will attempt to push you to your limit; test your character, your loyalty to him {even in this early stage}. Why? Somewhere in his sick psychology he was told by other men who learned from some other men who learned from other men who had experiences with women who showed them that if a woman has feelings for a man, she will: fight other women for him, cry over him, stalk him and, even, deceive herself for him {In some cases, he may have even learned that dumb ishhh from his own mama}.There is a consensus, among many men, that if a woman doesn't get emotional, she doesn't really care. Sistas, we must learn to better manage our emotions; to master our emotions. We must remind one another of the power we possess, even by our own example. When one of us doesn't take the bull, it inspires the rest of us to be as committed.
You Should Test Him~ Do not allow him to turn the tables on you; making you feel as if you're the one on the stand. **Reminder: His goal is to get in with you. Men will employ the techniques of a trickster if they feel it's worth it to them! You may end up shattered, as a result. Yes, be open to the possibility of things working out wonderfully. No. You don't have to be cunning, like the proverbial Eve. But, be wise. Stand within your fortress. Be astute in your efforts to meet your goal of, ultimately, employing the right candidate. I'm not saying all, or most, men are conniving sneaks with ulterior motives of baggin and leavin. Apparently, nice guys have some of those same intentions, too. You do want to know where he's coming from and where he is right now. No one is going to be "nice" all the time. At the same time, you want to see a person's truth, their fullness. What makes him happy? What disturbs him? Makes him uncomfortable? Is he working out his issues? Does he address questions you've posed immediately? Or, does he wait to see if you'll forget? How does he interact with peers? Colleagues? Among women? In public with you? He'll show you and tell you everything you need to know. Watch and listen keenly.
He Is Not "Your Man"~ He is not committed to you!! You do not own him. What he does, irrespective of your dating relationship, has nothing to do with you {unless, of course, it can harm you in some way}. Dating is temporary. It's an examination phase before you move on to the next level. Enjoy it for what it is. Don't commit yourself to predetermining THIS IS IT before you do a complete assessment of the person and situation at hand. Expect Respect, Gifts, Household Repairs, Time, Energy and all kinds of other perks. Whatever you do, Do Not Demand His Total and Complete Devotion to You.....just yet.

9 Ways TO GET YOUR CHILDREN TO EAT FRUITS & VEGGIES

2011-04-13T14:17:00.001-04:00

I became a Vegetarian at the age of 16, Vegan at 19 and have been a Raw Foodist and Fruitarian at different points in my life. I have three children, including a teenager, all of whom have been Raw Foodists and Vegans since birth.

Children desire the colorful, fresh choices created by nature.

*** If your goal is to introduce your children to healthy eating practices and to arm them with the information they need to sustain that way of life into adulthood, Rather Than forcing them to eat foods they don't like, Try Out These Tips That Worked For Me:

Keep Healthy Foods at Home ~ Children eat what's around them. They want what they see. They're attracted to it. Instinctively, though, most {if not, all} children desire the colorful, fresh choices created by nature. Fruits and vegetables in their natural, organic state stimulate the part of the brain that makes one salivate in preparation of the succulent juices, vitamins, minerals and enzymes they offer. But, don't expect your child to reach for grapes instead of candy when they're more accustomed to the taste of candy! I've had many a friend at my place who claimed their toddlers didn't eat this or that, yet, whenever I'd display a vegetable filled meal, they would devour it {sometimes, asking for seconds}!! I keep fresh fruits displayed in beautiful, clear glass bowls in my kitchen and living room so they're readily available as a snack or a.m. craving {don't worry, the living room bowl is really sturdy and placed so it won't tip over}. *True Story*-> Every toddler, that's ever come over {regardless of how they eat at home}, reaches for the inviting fruits in my living room bowl! {I purposely keep it at eye level for little people} **Did you know that a home filled with fresh fruits and vegetables resonates on a higher vibrational frequency than a home filled with flesh and processed foods? Google it!*
Be The Example~ Never let them see you sweat! {at least not in their early years} If you indulge in excessive sweets, fried foods or whatever, do so in a time and place where your children won't see you. Young children, especially, emulate most of their parents' behavior. Many of us have "vices" in our lives, but, when it comes to encouraging positive eating practices, your vices are simply Not Your Child's Business; not if you want them to do what you say. That just won't work. If you don't want your child introduced to it, DON'T INTRODUCE YOUR CHILD TO IT! When my eldest child was younger, I didn't allow him to eat vegan cakes and soy ice cream, although, I, occasionally, indulged myself. Having been a Raw Foodist and Fruitarian, I was conscious that consuming flour and soy products wasn't the healthiest thing I could do. I didn't want to expose my child to it at a time when his take on the situation would most likely be that of resentment: You eat it! So why can't I? Instead, I waited until the depths of our conversations about health and nutrition grew. Today, he has factual knowledge, wisdom gained from the harmful experiences of others and a broader understanding of how to maintain his personal health as a Vegan teen.
Keep It Simple~ Early infant nutrition should be as simple as unpeeling/ chopping/ mashing {avocado, banana, apple, pear, melons}. As infants grow into toddlers, you can lightly steam and/or dehydrate vegetables. Just sprinkle a little fresh coconut milk, coconut- sunflower- or olive oil over cooled veggies, just before serving. NO SALT. NO PEPPER. Allow children to experience vegetables as close to their natural state as possible. Keeping it simple eliminates the perceived need to drown foods with condiments and spices just because. Spices are meant to enhance and are utilized for their healing properties, when necessary. I make most of my steamed and lightly sauteed veggies with the simplest ingredients: onions {not always}, garlic {most of the time} a wholesome oil or coconut milk and a tad bit of sea salt for minerals {not for the baby, she's 3}.

I'd just whip out an avocado and a spoon and say, "I have yummy avocado!"

4. Take Healthy Foods Out With You~ When my children were toddlers and we'd be out all day, especially in the warmer months, I'd be sure to carry only fruits, veggies and seaweed as snacks. They'd say, "I'm hungry." Or, worse, "I want ___. And, I want ___. " I'd just whip out an avocado and a spoon and say, "I have yummy avocado!" Or, "All I have is a salad wrap with me. Want it?" More times than not, they accepted what I had. And, if they weren't into it at first, they were sure to ask for it later, when they got really hungry- even the pickiest one!
5. Minimize Choices~ If children seem adament about not wanting a certain fruit or vegetable, trust that there's a reason their bodies know that, perhaps, we may not be in tune with. In that case, offer a different option. make sure you allow your child time to bond with the fruit or vegetable before introducing an assorted cornucopia. Whether it's snack time or dinner time, limiting choices for days, even weeks at a time puts a particular food at the center of attention. If it's all they know, they're going to want to get to know it even more. You'll be developing a routine they will anticipate as the days pass. Pretty soon, they'll be looking at the bowl with eyes of expectance; swinging their sweet little feet with excitement. *FYI: When weaning infants/toddlers off one food and introducing to another, feed them both foods from the same plate for a few days. Then, at each mealtime, allow the new food to be served solo.
6. Act Normal~ Don't start off by making a big deal about the fact that they HAVE to eat fruits and veggies, "or else!" Be excited. But, act as if that excitement about health is normal {it really should be}. If eating healthy is the only way of being they know, don't talk about it or entertain others' communicating about ways that draw attention to it as being not as fun as ___ or less exciting than ___. Even if you have to search high and low for books, toys, etc.. that emphasize the benefits of fruits and veggies, act as if those items are commonplace in every household. Most children love to feel they are part of an extended community, however small. They want to be connected to their peers, especially. Expose your children, regularly, to family and friends who eat well.
7. Teach The Art of The Deal~ Children's demanding chants of "wants" are endless. I want this! I want that! So, why not familiarize them with the art of bargaining, early? After all, if a child is mature enough to express their likes and dislikes, that youngin can make a deal!! "Sure, you can have company, but you have to eat all your cauliflower, first!" "Eat three more slices of red pepper, then we can go to the park!"*Try not to bargain healthy food for unhealthy food {eat broccoli and you can have chips}. Instead, offer up a favorite activity or some other life-affirming, health conscious thing {trip to the museum, library, a game of chess or arts & crafts}. Most importantly, Keep Your Word!
8. Discuss The Benefits~ Give them a lesson on the health benefits of eating particular foods. Discuss the healing properties of specific fruits and veggies. "I love watching you eat butternut squash. It's high in Vitamin A which gives you brain power!! That's why you're such a genius! The squash helps you out! You're really smart to eat it all, too!" Point out positives that matter to them: "Did you know that your big brother;s muscles were able to grow because he put proper minerals in his body by eating greens everyday since he was your age?"
9. Be Brutally Honest~ Eating healthy foods is more advantageous than not. It's a fact. Educate your children on some of the harmful effects of not eating fruits and vegetables {chronic constipation, skin "problems", asthma; diabetes, on and on...}. Now, give examples of people you know who have those illnesses. Children usually want to get involved and save the world. *Support them in their attempts to educate loved ones and friends about improving their health through increasing fruit and vegetable intake. They will need your support, as many of the people they insist on helping will reject their efforts. Discuss some of the reasons people resist change {fear of failure; fear of the unknown; the "comfortability factor"; ...} People will come up with numerous reasons why they can't or won't change. Turn the experience into a project! Assist your child with developing a sound argument in favor of his/her side {write an essay, speech or debate together}. When he started attending school outside our home, my eldest sun and I wrote a book about being Vegan {stressing its coolness}. It allowed his peers to get to know him better and allowed for the other children to express their experiences with elements of being Vegan {some tried soymilk before; others had relatives who didn't eat flesh; etc...}.

You Can Change The Way You And Your Children Eat. Begin NOW!!!

In my experience, years of working with mothers and children, I found that many mothers insist on forcing their children to eat flesh {chicken, beef, etc.. as well as animal by-products} when their children, naturally, reject it in every possible way {vomitting; constant diarrhea; chronic constipation; becoming asthmatic; developing eczema; hyperactive behavior; crankiness; etc...} On the contrary, they worry about whether their children are getting enough nutrients from fruits and veggies. Rest assured, THE ONLY PROPERTIES FRUITS AND VEGETABLES CONTAIN ARE NUTRIENTS: Vitamins, Minerals, Enzymes, etc... You can Google it!

FLESH IS DEAD. What's The Benefit In That???....Duhhhh!!! I had to say that! This is 2011, I Am Exhausted of trying to convince people of already existing facts. You either understand them, or you don't. Wake The H*** Up!!!!!!!!!

~Loving You AllWays~

*Anything Is Possible. You Can Change The Way You And Your Children Eat. Begin NOW. Envision. Focus on the Vision. Manifest the Vision, step by step by step by step...

~Health Is Wealth~

7 Things WOMEN SHOULD LET MEN DO WHILE DATING

2011-04-12T12:21:00.005-04:00

I liken the steps of the entire dating process to a first date. It sets the tone for how you interact throughout the relationship. What you accept and what you reject during that date, determine all else. In fact, you actually began to set the standard in your earliest talks with him. You were clear and direct regarding your standards, likes and dislikes. And, you have been noticeably consistent in the way you conducted yourself over the course of many conversations. He has been paying very close attention to that.

In this case, that first date is a day-long affair, beginning in the afternoon and going on late into the night. It's a chance to spend quality face-time together; after months of {technologically assisted} discussions. In that time, you've each learned what makes the other tick; kinds of food you eat; and, places you like to go, among other things. Actually, you've gotten to know each other quite well.

All those little details do matter. One day, they may come into play in ways you never would have suspected. For instance, while the two of you were skyping and talking on the tele, on more than one occasion, he overheard Trey Songz playing in the background and made a mental note of that.

So, now, you both agree it's time to See each other. He tells you he is planning a lovely afternoon and evening for you. The day has finally come! He treats you exactly how you like to be treated. He doesn't let you get into or out of the car without opening it for you; and, he opens all the doors to every place you visit that day. At the start of the date, he presents you with flowers, a package of your favorite vegan chocolate truffles from that chocolatier you love and a nice portion of that aromatic green herb you like to indulge in, occasionally. :-)

Throughout the day, he's constantly checking on you to see if you're ok, if you need anything. All the attention has you glowing. During dinner, the waiter brings you the wrong dish! You don't, so much as, raise an eyebrow, though. You simply point it out to your date and he handles everything. Next thing you know, the waiter is offering you another glass of wine and promising an extra dessert!! As you sip the wine, you smile, confidently, at your date. While you gaze adoringly at him- for his physical features and other beautiful qualities, he contemplates the big surprise he arranged for you. He took a big risk and really wants you to enjoy it. As the two of you stare into each other's eyes, your focus is drawn back into the restaurant because you hear a familiar voice. It's your boy!! Trey Songz is in the building and HE is serenading YOU!!!

You end the evening at your place. You invited him in for a warm cup of tea before he heads back home in the nighttime cold {no matter where you are and what season it is, it gets pretty chilly at night, Right?} You bring him the cup of tea and sit by his side. Wanting to cater to him now, you ask if there is anything else he wants. Tee hee hee. He gives you a look. Then, he places your foot on his lap and proceeds to massage it. Lahd Hav Mercy!! HE KNOWS that's your weak spot. He undresses you. And, you.... allow him to.... Hey.. don't judge! The rest, my Loves, is Herstory... Talk about gifts upon gifts! Let's just say, that night, it was definitely all about you!!! As it should be.

WHAT'S THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? WHAT YOU Should LET MEN DO {of course}:

Worship You~ Let him worship you for the God{dess}You Are. He's going to do so, anyway- whether you know it or not; until you give him reason to think otherwise. *Woman is man's only true religion.** They Study Us {like the Bible, Koran, ...}; Sing Our Praises; Make Us a Major Part of Their Daily Routine; Want to get Baptized/Initiated Into/Anointed By Us; Confess to Us; Seek Forgiveness From Us; Bow Before Us; Kneel at Our Alter; and, Their Character {should} Be Greatly Improved By Practicing {us}. Men seek our approval and look to us to set the behavioral standard. In his mind, you are the example of excellence. He'll always hold you in high regard, so long as you maintain your decorum.
Make Offerings To You~ Remember, he worships you! That line he used when you first met~ offering; all the events he planned for you on your first date {including the Trey Songz serenade}~ offering; the confessions, personal stories he told you and secret admissions from the pages of his life~ offering; and, that last scenario at the end of the story above~ *offering!* He wants to become a well-respected member of your church..And Soon! Accept his offerings and shower him with blessings. Before long, small offerings will turn into bigtime trinkets!! ;-)
Plan For You~ Let him plan and execute the entire affair. He is more than willing to lead the way. Sometimes we forget, men are quite capable of planning. But, if they don't, personally have the skills, they won't have a problem enlisting the help of an assistant. *Once you agree that he is in charge, Trust His Decisions. He needs no interference from you. It will boost his ego and you'll reap the rewards! Allow him to plan for you now and he'll be doing it, successfully, for years to come! Oh, and, be sure to give feedback- accentuate the positives!
Open Doors For You~ You might be thinking: I don't need a man to open doors for me; I can do that for myself! That's your problem!! Why work harder than you have to? Just because you can? You can use your energy elsewhere. When someone is willing to make it a little easier for you, especially a man you're interested in, let them! You deserve it. Be thankful and accept graciously. As in the little story above, when a man brings you into his world, all he wants you to do is sit back, relax and enjoy the experience. Aren't they fond of saying: "I got you." Quiet as it's kept, men are really here to assist women {I said it!}. They are Our helpmates, contrary to what some religious texts proclaim. The more doors you let him open for you now, the more you'll be able to fully participate in the moment ~like, when you become a Mama one day. You'll need all the help he {not, necessarily, him but, that special man} can give you and more!! **Relationships are like businesses- Everyone has something to do and once you're on your job, you stand to benefit. When the door is being opened for you, Walk On Through!!!
Make It Better For You~ Let him fix it. Give him the chance to make corrections/ adjustments/ improvements. And don't get in his way! P.S.~ You handled the entree error at the restaurant perfectly! On a more practical note, if you have a minor repair that needs tending to, ask him to do it while you're making him tea {before he gets too comfortable!}He'll be more than happy to oblige. *If he gets into the habit of making it better now, you can always count on him to do more of the same in the future.
Pamper You~ Men love to pamper us. If there is something they can do to keep us in a great mood and/or exceed what they perceive as our level of expectation, they're all in! A man much prefers the company of a pleasant woman to a b***h on wheels. When you're bitter, angry or even sad, they get extremely uncomfortable and want to get outta dodge as fast as they can! He lives to please you. *Let him. Before you know it, he'll be setting up spa days for you. Who wouldn't smile at that?!
Gift You~ He planned and executed, opened doors, made it better, pampered you and showered you with gifts.. all because he truly worships and wants to get in good with you. He provided everything you needed to enjoy the personalized experience he created just for you. Later, he lavished you with all kinds of gifts {referring to the scenario at the very end of the story}. Just kidding! *If you continue to Be The Standard, he'll have plenty more in store for you.

*Remember~ The entire dating experience is filled with gifts. Even when the actual physical first date doesn't turn out to be quite what we want, we can still learn and grow from it. That's the gift we should really treasure.

Food For Thought~ Think About Action

2011-04-05T13:49:00.001-04:00

DID YOU KNOW AMERICAN COMPANIES: Kraft, Coca Cola and Walmart Distribute Their Products FREE OF ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS AND DYES THROUGHOUT EUROPE? Meanwhile, they distribute THE SAME NAMED PRODUCTS {FILLED WITH ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS AND DYES} Right Here, IN AMERICA!!

On March 30th and 31st the Food and Drug Administration {FDA} Food Advisory Committee met to "consider available relevant data on the possible association between consumption of certified color additives in food and HYPERACTIVITY IN CHILDREN, and to advise FDA as to what action, if any, is warranted to ensure consumer safety"

The RESULTS: INCONCLUSIVE!! The Food Advisory Committee claimed there isn't enough EVIDENCE to conclude that artificial food colors and dyes cause behavioral changes in children. They VOTED AGAINST LABELING FOOD PRODUCTS THAT CONTAIN DYES! HUH?!! Really? Food coloring additives have been considered a possible threat to "normal" childhood behavior since the 1970s when Dr. Benjamin Feingold first studied their effects. My thing is, forget studies..What about a little Common Sense?!! Oh, pardone moi..There is no such thing!

Do people really think Beverages are supposed to be Bright Blue, Green and Red; Cereals Pink and Purple; and, snacks like certain Chips and Frozen Treats Neon Orange?? All it takes is a little thought people! Let's start putting a little more thought into the products we contemplate purchasing. Even if it means reading each package label by label then, that's just what it's going to have to take. That's what health-conscious people do. And they call us Health Nuts!!

By the way, the artificial coloring and dyes I'm speaking of are: Red#40, Yellow#5 and Blue #1, just to name a few. In 1906, seven dyes were approved for use in food under the Pure Food and Drug Act. **FYI~ The FDA is highly concerned that you'll not consume products sold in their natural appearance. After all, there's big money in food! If it looks "dull" you might not purchase it. True? Hmmm.. Let's put on our thinking caps and look to history for some assistance with this one. So, that would mean that before 1906, when foods were virtually utampered with and retained their natural coloring, most people felt food was boring and didn't have any interest in consuming it, save for starving off starvation........?? Wow! The level of expectation the Government has for the intelligence of the general public way is below any sense at all. The bigger question is Why not? But, that's a whole notha article, altogether!

The Real Truth, people, is that the use of artificial food coloring and dyes aids in Big Government's agenda to control the food industry and control consumers through the foods they eat. What??? But, what's so horrible about decorating the birthday cake with sky blue and neon green icing and topping it off with deep red candles? Aside from the fact that a room full of little people will be bouncing off the walls and acting like a bunch of wild banshees??? Consider this: Most artificially colored products are centered around and targeted toward children. Growing uncomfortable now? Not yet. Well, embark upon an investigation. Even simple surface research will lead you to questions that have been publicly posed for the thirty years linking childhood behavior {brain function} to said food items marketed to that particular age demographic. And, demographically speaking, the bulk of artificially colored and dyed foods, beverages and snacks can, easily, be found in lower economic neighborhoods lining the shelves, walls and ceilings of high-priced "corner" stores which abound in these neighborhoods; sometimes, to the tune of two per one quarter of a block on Avenues and side streets, alike. Not to mention, children in these neighborhoods are increasingly labeled with ADD and ADHD disorders. Additionally, the specific nutritional needs of those particular children are rarely ever catered to in their homes, schools or communities. Notwithstanding, melanin, as a crucial factor, isn't ever addressed.

Okay. I only, briefly mentioned the issue of Government control of food {which, in my mind, could really be a lesser issue-like anything else- once people, regain control of what we grow, sell and purchase}. The really larger issue, I think, is the actual link between the availability of fresher and healthier foods in lower economic neighborhoods; the educational opportunities afforded economically disadvantaged students; the willingness of individuals to take their health into their own hands, relinquishing what I refer to as the myth of a hero and the overall health of these communities. A bit long- winded.. Did you get that? No one is going to save you but, yourself. No agency can save us collectively, either. We need to, and are moving toward a time where we are being forced to, work together and depend upon each other in our communities and, somewhat beyond, where food is concerned.

Parents: When you decide to claim your children's health through your purchasing choices and your investment of time and positive energy, you'll realize ADD and ADHD have disappeared and/or have become more easily manageable without outside interventions. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? **Preventative physical health care, **preventative mental health care and **love in every form you can give it, will go a long way in your quest to ensure that your children are healthy.

~Health Is Wealth~

*The following video is not posted in order to poke fun at

any group of people. Instead, take a peek at many people's reality.

Perhaps it'll prompt you to think differently about economic, social and mental disparities.

In any case, it's food for thought!

{there's a lot more, besides food, going on, too- also, many people's reality}

Off The Wall

2011-04-02T00:00:00.001-04:00

I must say, Wendy Williams SUCKS BUTT {pardon my language} on Dancing with the Stars!! I had to say it! It's not like you didn't know that already. But, I give her so much credit for being brave enough to make the effort at all. Why am I talking about this on Friday night, anyway?? I know, the show comes on at the beginning of the week and that's old news. True. Well, I'm a Home Schooling Mother of three and I get around to these things when I can.. gimme a break!
Actually, I felt compelled to write about what I perceive as her experience on the popular dance show. The reason being, I can totally relate!! Not that I would suck butt on there.. Please! What I mean is, she obviously has issues around dancing {however deep- seated} and, I, too, have had issues around dancing. Those who know me {and know me well enough} know that I was a perpetual wall flower. ~Flowers I do love~ But, the more lively, colorful variety. You know, those beautyfull, sometimes scented ones that peek out from the tops of water-filled vases. As a pretty wall flower, peeking out I did NOT! In fact, I turned my head the other way when I noticed individuals making their way toward me with aspirations of acquiring a dance accompanied by myself. Nope. Uh- Uh. I simply refused. Every. Single. Time. Bottom- line, they never stood a chance. Period. *Apologies Brothas of My Past* I viewed my holding up the walls at various venues throughout the cities where my elementary, high school and college were located as my sacred duty. When I was on WALL, the foundation was going NoWhere! There could have been an earth-shattering quake, tsunami, nuclear bomb, whatever.. When it was all over, you best believe me and my wall would still be standing!! {You get the picture}

Back to Wendy..HA!!!..I tend to digress at times..I was attempting to draw a connection between her and me. She seemed as though she wanted to cry after each performance. I used to cry even though I hadn't performed. She has, at minimum, some sense of confidence; enough to get her on that dance floor in the first place! I completely lacked the esteem to just shine and be me, regardless of how I or others felt I looked.

So, what's the point of this yarn I'm spinnin'? Watching Wendy reminded me of how much I have evolved in this short span I call life {via my present form of being}. The days of suffering from low self-esteem {which, by the way, should officially be classified as a form of mental illness..it really is} are over!!!!!!! I Am Free of self- doubt and self-loathing!!! When I stood up at my recent 20th Year High School Reunion and danced, I stepped outside myself; gazing and smiling at just how far I have come. Sure, I've danced at the many conscious reggae "concerts" I've attended over the nine and a half years of I lived within RasTafarI. That was Spiritual; Transcendent. But, this, it was different. This was dancing for dancing's sake AND dancing for life's sake at the same time!! I dance all the time, now! It's a part of my regular routine. Early this a.m., I was at the disco {in my kitchen} groovin' with Donna Summer, etc...

It's Friday Night and I have two sho' nuff rituals I've developed {purely unintentionally..at least on a conscious level}. They are: 1. My Sensual Love Bath with Personal Spa Treatments and, 2. Dancing My Ass Off in my living room to whatever moves me!! Now I'm Living!!!!!!! And, now I know that what My Beloved Brotha Michael says: Life 'aint so bad at all/ When You Live It OFF THE WALL is True.

Happiness Is Health.
~Health Is Wealth~

Don't Wanna DETOX?

2011-03-30T12:30:00.000-04:00

It's Springtime! DE-TOX Time!! Not up for it? Neither am I! But, here's some things We Can Do to give our bodies a bit of a break from all the excess:

AM DO's

Water First {with or without a little lime juice}- as many glasses as you can stand before you absolutely have to have something to eat! Spread your glasses apart, don't just gulp for gulping's sake. Wake up earlier if you have to so you can make sure you've used the facilities enough before you venture out. *'Tis the season for earlier a.m. rising, anyway.
Smoothie & a Bar {some type of granola bar, that is}- Make sure it's a FRUIT Smoothie! Fruits are for the a.m. and you'll appreciate that boost you get from all those natural sugars and vitamins. And, take it with you if you can. You'll want to wait at least a 1/2 hour after your final glass of water before you drink it. Half hour after that, if you still feel really hungry, eat an energy bar. I have mine around 11a.m. Clif Luna Bars are my faves~ Caramel Nut Brownie; White Chocolate Macadamia; Chocolate Raspberry; and, Chocolate Dipped Coconut~ FYI: There are other flavors besides chocolate! :-)

Alternative- So Delicious Coconut Milk Or Amande Almond Milk Non Dairy YOGURT. Dip Apple or Strawberry Slices in the yogurt, then dip into Nature's Path HEMP Plus Granola..Yum..Freakin' Yummm...

PM DO's

Big Salad {this can be in place of or in addition to your lunchtime usual}- Make sure you get your daily dose of fibrous greens. Green Leaf. Red Tip. Radicchio. Arugula. Boston. Endive. Red Chard. And, Romaine {which I've recently become pretty fond of} *Include Spinach for iron and other minerals. "Why Salad?" you ask. Regularity is Key~ to Health, Wealth and Great Skin! {doesn't that make you Happy?!!}
Skip Dinner?? {did I say to eat a big enough lunch to satisfy you?}- Who says you Need to eat dinner, anyway? You've had your drinks and a light snack. Make this meal count. Who said you had to skimp on your salad, especially, if that's going to be your largest meal of the day? Go ahead, you know how to live a little! Enhance that salad! Douse on the nuts & seeds, raisins, sprouted beans, nori, croutons..whatever floats your boat. Or, lightly embellish with cucumbers, avocado, etc, etc... Whatever you do, you had better enjoy it!!
Snack It Up! {snack often}- Tortilla Chips & Salsa. Tortilla Chips & Hummus. Popcorn {Little Lad's Herbal is good}. Nori & Avocado. Nuts & Raisins. Raw Veggies.

PLEASE Do NOT

SMOKE {cigarettes}.
DRINK ALCOHOL.
Eat FLESH {beef, chicken, goat, alligator, fish...} More Than THREE Times a Week.
Eat FRIED FOODS More Than ONCE A WEEK.
Drink SODA, SWEETENED JUICES.
Eat CANDY.
DEPRIVE YOUSELF of REST {you'll need lots of energy to keep yourself from doing all the please do not stuff!}.

OTHER STUFF

Begin Your Day on a POSITIVE NOTE~ Affirmations, Exercise, Focused Breathing, Reading This Blog... :-)
DON'T GO OUT TO DINNER WITH FRIENDS.. Stay Focused!!!!!!
TAKE IT EASY. Don't be so hard on yourself if you mess up. Pick up and start again. ~Forward Ever~
If you're an Everyday Coffee Drinker, SUBSTITUTE HERBAL TEA and drink tons of it throughout the course of the day. Sweeten with AGAVE NECTAR. You'll lose water weight and, some fat cells to boot!! Not to mention, your hair and skin will shine and sing your praises.

You can even Taper Down to Every Other Day Coffee and Tea. You gotta start somewhere, right?!!

YOU CAN DO IT! OF COURSE, YOU CAN!!! :-)

BigGER Love

2011-03-24T17:43:00.002-04:00

Did you see the Season Finale of "Big Love"???

I did. I cried! Did you? I mean, what an emotional roller coaster right from the beginning!! I'd be doing my deep breathing exercises whenever I'd see Bill onscreen. I could feel his tension {he was always so darn tense!} in every single episode. Whether it was during the earlier years of his struggles with the Home Plus franchise or around the never-ending issues within his marriage{s}, it was Always Sumthin'! There was always some type of Major Drama that Bill and his wives had to contend with. But, this was the very first episode where I experienced having to let the water flow from my lids. My heart was full of all kinds of feelings: joy and sadness included.

Throughout the show's duration, I wasn't really cool about Bill and his family not being accepted by the dominant society. I'm not cool with people being treated as outcasts, in general. My thing is, if you don't like something, don't get involved in it. Mind your own business, right? So, for me, this wasn't just a controversial dramatic cable series. There's no such notion as art for art's sake in my book. The kind of bigotry Bill and his family experienced happens everyday in "real life"..True Story! Aside from the fact that Bill's particular religious beliefs seemed a little ignorant and backwoods to me..My Truth, people!..I feel like they still had every right to practice freely and live their lives as they saw fit. They weren't harming anyone and their intentions appeared to be loving. And, while we're on the subject of intent, what of the business of Margene {sp} being 16 when she and Bill married?!! Exactly what were each of their intentions? .. Hmmm.. That's a whole 'notha issue. I'm not judging, just saying.. {P.S~ Men aren't that foolish are they?.. Rhetorical question- HA!!- I know they are}

Anyway, LOVE happens to be one of my favorite topics of discussion. Rule #1~ LOVE IS LIFE. Question: How do we know when a thing is living? Answer: It grows/ changes/ expands. Love does all those things. Love is growth, change and expansion. Wherever Love exists, Life exists.

If you're not growing/ changing/ expanding, then, by default, you are diminishing/ remaining static/ decreasing. I'm not saying that if you're not practicing polygamy, you're not living! {That's funny} What I am saying is that if you're not having lots of sex, you're not living!!.. Joking! On the contrary, despite popular belief, polygamy is as complex as, if not, more than, other types of unions- not just about sex. Seriously, what I am saying is that individuals should begin by learning to love themselves more wholistically, spreading that love to family members, friends, significant others and if that means eventually increasing your current circle of significant others, so be it. Were you listening to childlike, innocent Margene when told Bill that her wanting to explore the world outside of their family/ community would be in addition to rather than in place of what they had? She said, "You're my anchor. You're my home. But, someday, I do want to meet new people and share what's in my heart with others."~ BANG! That's BIG'! That's Love.

Bill and Barbara's love began small, just intimate enough for the two of them. Later, it grew to encompass a larger union. They faced enormous challenges with life-altering consequences; many, not unlike those faced by monogamous couples. Where Bill & Barb differ greatly from monogamous couples is in the fact that their type of union {polygamous} is illegal and considered sinful by most religious institutions and authorities. SCREW THEM!! ..pun intended..

Ever the cheerleader for True Champions, I'm givin' a SHOUT OUT to All Polygamous Families!

You Choose Your Way regardless of the what others say. You Choose Love as a Way of Life. And, just like Bill's wives eventually learned, you Overstand that LOVE is about Acceptance, Allowance and the Acknowledgement that it is owned by no one, yet, it BELONGS TO ALL. Love is really BIG. In fact, it is Bigger than we can ever imagine.

All We HAVE To Do, All We CAN Do, is Allow Love to Grow.. Bigger and Bigger and BIGGER...

~HEALTH IS WEALTH~

Copyright © 2011 Motha Nature, Harlem, USA

Repost--> SPRING INTO GREAT HEALTH!!

2011-03-21T16:48:00.000-04:00

Springtime---> The time to Move Forward with whatever it is you say you really want. Spring represents Renewal/ Energy/ Detoxification/ Rebirth/ Optimal Health.
~Every Fruit has Its Season~
BOUNTYFULL BERRIES Blackberries, Blueberries, Raspberries, Strawberries, etc… are Plump, Delicious and Packed with Antioxidants, Vitamins and, believe it or not, Minerals (especially darker ones).
Berries Tone Fat Cells while Expelling Mucous. Strawberries, eaten in large doses, are known to ease pain. For Healthy, Glowing Skin EAT YOUR BERRIES DURING SPRINGTIME!!
WOMEN, Berries Will KEEP IT TIGHT in all the places that matter most. *Wink*
Berries are healing and astringent for the uterus. Eat in abundance if you suffer from FIBROIDS or just want to restore WOMB HEALTH.
*As with all the fruits and vegetables I discuss, ORGANIC (when available) is the way to go! *
Enjoy berries on top of granola, oats, or all mixed up into a Sweet Spring Berry Salad.
Spring Berry Salad Mix a variety of berries together in large bowl.
Sprinkle a dash of Cinnamon powder. Grate a smidgen of Fresh Ginger onto the mixture. Add Agave Nectar. Squeeze Fresh Lime Juice over the salad. Cover and Let Sit for 15-30 minutes. ~Enjoy~

~Health Is Wealth~

WINNING

2011-03-07T08:31:00.013-05:00

The phrase health is wealth takes on even greater meaning when we begin to apply it to every aspect of our lives. The concept of health applies to more than physical wellness. It's a wholistic term encompassing spirituality AND mentality.

It has been said before and I like to reiterate it: It's not the messenger, it's the message.

The thought that individuals have the power to accomplish ANYTHING we focus Energy, Intent and Will on is as ancient as the eldest beings of this planet and, beyond. In fact, humans have been transforming that thought into reality since our existence. Evidence of this is as complex as the design and, subsequent, construction of the largest physical edifices and the most intricately detailed mechanical structures we know {bridges, airplanes, buildings...}. If it is possible to conceive and manifest monumental machines, why, then, do we find it so difficult to grasp that we have the power to harness the same energy and put it into curing ourselves of whatever ails us. Whether the illness is addiction, cancer or H.I.V., we can think it and it is so. It has been done time and again. Not a believer? google it!

When Charlie Sheen stated that he handled his addiction that way, people mocked and snickered in disbelief. Beneath what appeared to be the outrageous statements of a troubled and crazy individual, I heard Universal Truth. While watching his interviews, I found that I related to much of what he was saying. I've been aware of the my power to create with my thoughts all my life. It's, partly, a Pisces thing. As an adult, I've become even more consciously aware of it. In my experience, I have overcome acne, eczema, migraines, shopping addiction and a host of other illnesses. My father was addicted to crack in the early '90s. He, too, overcame his addiction with the power of mind. Inspired by thoughts he had while reading a letter I wrote him, he made up his mind to stop using crack and he did.

Ponder the meaning of these phrases: make up your mind; change begins in the mind;what you can conceive, you can achieve. Those are just a few of countless similar sayings alluding to the power within that we all possess. What meaning, if any, do they have for you?

Perhaps you hadn't given thought to any of the above. I trust that, after reading this post, someone will. Crazy-ass Charlie Sheen has. What's more, he has transformed his life and is creating the effects he desires. And, for that reason, he is WINNING.

~Health Is Wealth~

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2011-03-04T06:21:00.024-05:00

LAW #6~ SWEAT!

Want a Gorgeous Glow?

You gotta DETOXIFY from the Inside Out!

Sweat it out/ Let it out!!

I'm just not that into the gym, you say. That's fine {neither am I}. But, in order to get your perspiration on, there needs to be Some Kinda physical activity.

No need to make it a chore, though. Be creative. I say, Do what you like! Get your boogie on- Wind ya waist to Dancehall music/ throw on some Old School Hip Hop records and do the runnin' man; Clean your place from top to bottom- several times a week; even better, have some SEXercise- grind it up! {in addition to your great new skin, you'll be in a really great mood}~ seriously. ;-)

Whether you choose traditional or alternative forms of movement, commit to doing it as often as possible. Schedule it on your calendar as if you were taking a class {even if you'll be running up and down steps for an hour a day}.

Make it happen!!

You Can Do It!

Your Hair Will Thank You...

Your Skin Will Thank You...

~Health Is Wealth~

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2010-11-11T03:59:00.005-05:00

Law #5~ WATER OUT

What you do to the inside you must do to the outside.

Just as our internal bodies need water, our hair and skin need it, too.

Hair and Skin need MOISTURE EVERYDAY!! That’s right, even BLACK HAIR. In general, Black Hair, Scalp and Skin are more susceptible to dryness and the damages it can cause.

*{The reason Caucasians need to fully wash their hair daily is that their sebaceous glands release a significant amount of oil from the scalp.}

On the other hand, Black hair should, at the very least, be dabbed, sprayed or, otherwise, dampened with water on a daily basis. So, whether that means you wet your hair in the shower, wear a shower cap to trap steam, pat some water on it with your hands or spray it with a spray bottle it needs that dose of agua everyday.

*Important TIP to Seal In Moisture~ Use an All Natural Hempseed Oil Based Moisturizer that nourishes with Essential Fatty Acid’s, Protein and Vitamin E. Two Excellent products that do this are “Royal Anointing Oil” and “Cannabis Supreme Crème” both by Hemptherapy. They can be purchased at www.mothanature.com.

The two products just mentioned above are also safe enough to be applied to your skin, as well {face, included}. The great thing about products by Hemptherapy is that each and every product is multi~ purpose containing ingredients safe enough for use on hair and skin.

Last point: The face also requires several splashes of cool water daily, to be pat dried and sealed with a Hemptherapy moisturizer. And, while we may bathe our skin less in the Fall/ Winter compared to Spring/ Summer, the body requires more oil~ based moisturizers.

*Motha Nature’s Personal Beauty Tip* For Body and Face, wash with warm water and do a final rinse with cool water. Cool water helps to close up pores. The combination of warm and cool water, in that order, leads to glowing and more youthful looking skin. Trust Motha Nature. She knows. :-)

~Health Is Wealth~

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2010-11-08T07:21:00.006-05:00

Law #4~ WATER IN It's really pretty simple. Where there is water there is Life.

Our relationship with water is essential. The Hydrogen and Oxygen in water are 2 Elements we Absolutely Need for our Development, Nurturing and Growth.

Whether it's 8 glasses a day, 4 glasses a day, 10 glasses a day- EVERYONE’S NEEDS ARE DIFFERENT! You will become a Master of Law #1 and be able to listen to your body. “Who Feels it, Knows it.” You’ll know when you're drinking the right amount for you because you’ll feel it.

Water keeps everything from blood to food flowing within the body. It cleanses the cells and aids the removal of toxins in the bladder and colon.

“Who Can’t Hear will Feel.”

Decide not to listen to your body when it asks for water and you’ll reap the consequences = Dry Skin, Brittle, Breaking Hair, etc… Develop your listening skills so you’ll know exactly what to do. Too much and/or too little of anything is not a good thing. That, also, includes water intake.

Increase your intake of watery foods: Juicy FRUITS, SALAD GREENS and CUCUMBER. DRINK MORE HERBAL TEAS and FRESH PRESSED JUICES, in addition to water. WATER Inside --> HEALTHY GLOW outside.

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2010-10-22T10:41:00.007-04:00

Law #3~ TRY A LITTLE LOVE!

If you want SHEEN, STRENGTH & GROWTH on your HEAD; and, CLEAR, BRIGHT & BEAUTYFULL SKIN---> YOU NEED TO BE ALL THAT WITHIN.

LOVE Is the Most PowerFull of all emotions. Indeed, it Is the Strongest Force In the Universe!!!

Love Is All That Really Matters.

Love Is the Essence of All Matter.

Love = YOU

YOU= THE ANSWER

*LOVE Is THE ANSWER*

Embrace and Focus on All That Is Love In Your Life. Release all that is not. The use of some other 4- letter words cause us stress and do major harm to us spiritually, sub~consciously and physically.

Love Encourages, Facilitates and Supports GROWTH and RADIANCE. Negative energies hinder and stagnate. Which do you want?

Love = HAPPINESS

Happiness= HEALTH

*Healthy HAIR + Healthy SKIN = Health without---> HEALTH WITHIN!!!

~Health Is Wealth~

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2010-10-21T09:10:00.008-04:00

Law #2~ LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
Listen How?

We listen with our ears. More accurately, we want to HEAR the messages our bodies are communicating to us. Hearing requires accepting and understanding what’s going on. Remember, We Have The Power to alter our current condition through our consciousness.

Our bodies speak to us with a language all their own. Individual dialects are as unique as we are.

Phrases like, “Girl, don’t you use that product anymore!” “I’m not a camel, I NEED WATER!!” and “You are cloggin’ me up with all that nonsense!” cannot be heard with our ears. Instead, they are spoken via acne/ breakouts, dandruff, dryness, eczema, hair loss, itchiness, oiliness, psoriasis, etc…

Be Still. Your issue could be as simple as a change in your routine, something you ate, a detergent, the fabric you’re wearing, and even a person you probably shouldn’t be around. Or, the issue could be as complex as a deeply ingrained psychosomatic disorder, misinformation/ negativity embedded in your sub~ conscious, an area that requires spiritual healing or fear. In any case, be PROACTIVE rather than reactionary. YOUR BODY’S TALKIN’ TO YOU!! Traditional doctors aren’t trained to hear what the body is saying. Do some research on your own. If you need assistance, meditate/ pray/ ask/ search for a Loving and Compassionate person’s who is Willing to help you elevate your consciousness and heal yourself.

*Prerequisite to Altering Consciousness~ INFORMATION.

Learn about your body. Meditate, Read, etc…

Information stimulates that which we already Know. We were Created Perfectly with All The Knowledge we’d ever need.

*Prerequisite to Applying Information~ COMMON SENSE.

Use process of elimination/ reasoning/ deduction/ analytical skills.

*BE THE FIRST TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT YOUR CONDITION!!

AFFIRMATION~ I AM PERFECT. I HEAR WHAT MY BODY IS TELLING ME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO DO.

*Remember

YOU= THE ANSWER.

~Health Is Wealth~

9 Golden Laws of Healthier HAIR & SKIN

2010-10-20T09:24:00.009-04:00

Law #1~ REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

YOU = THE ANSWER.
YOU = THE POWER TO HEAL YOURSELF.

Health comes from Within. Beauty comes from Within. Only YOU can Manifest into Your Physical Consciousness that which You Already Have Within Your Sub~ Conscious. Becoming Conscious requires a WILLingness to Be Your True Self.

IMMERSE THE SUB~ CONSCIOUS MIND IN IMAGES OF NATURAL HEALTH AND NATURAL BEAUTY. As a result, You WILL Physically Project Natural Health and Natural Beauty. It looks effortless. But, Conscious Work Is Prerequisite.

REMEMBER: Your History is in your Genetic Composition.
YOU ARE: ORIGINAL.

So, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING THE SAME PRODUCTS POPULAR CULTURE USES! Popular Culture Supports Itself. Those products are not meant for you. They do not support your Health & Wellness. You Are Blessed and Gifted with MAGICAL MELANIN in your Hair, Skin & Entire Being.

*Because of Melanin, Your Hair and Skin require SPECIAL ATTENTION. Give Yourself some Special Attention and MothaNature.com will assist you.*

~Health Is Wealth~

Copyright © 2010 Motha Nature, Harlem, USA

SPRING INTO GREAT HEALTH

2010-05-05T10:39:00.004-04:00

Springtime---> The time to Move Forward with whatever it is you say you really want. Spring represents Renewal/ Energy/ Detoxification/ Rebirth/ Optimal Health.

~Every Fruit has Its Season~

BOUNTYFULL BERRIES
Blackberries, Blueberries, Raspberries, Strawberries, etc… are Plump, Delicious and Packed with Antioxidants, Vitamins and, believe it or not, Minerals (especially darker ones).

Berries Tone Fat Cells while Expelling Mucous. Strawberries, eaten in large doses, are known to ease pain. For Healthy, Glowing Skin EAT YOUR BERRIES DURING SPRINGTIME!!

WOMEN, Berries Will KEEP IT TIGHT in all the places that matter most. *Wink*

Berries are healing and astringent for the uterus. Eat in abundance if you suffer from FIBROIDS or just want to restore WOMB HEALTH.

*As with all the fruits and vegetables I discuss, ORGANIC (when available) is the way to go! *

Enjoy berries on top of granola, oats, or all mixed up into a Sweet Spring Berry Salad.

Spring Berry Salad
Mix a variety of berries together in large bowl.
Sprinkle a dash of Cinnamon powder.
Grate a smidgen of Fresh Ginger onto the mixture.
Add Agave Nectar.
Squeeze Fresh Lime Juice over the salad.
Cover and Let Sit for 15-30 minutes.
~Enjoy~

~Health Is Wealth~

Celebrate!! Don't Hate

2010-03-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

I’m not one to discuss celebrities or keep up with their affairs. I don’t even watch the news! However, I am interested in most things as they pertain to health and wellness, which brings me to the topic of women’s health~ this being “Woman’s Month” and all. A woman’s health is very tied in to her Self-Image and her Happiness. What we look like on the outside is a direct reflection of what we truly feel about ourselves on the inside.

Yesterday, several family members and I got into a discussion about talk Show Host, Monique. One member brought up the topic of “being ghetto” and began to describe Monique as such. Soon, another chimed in and, then, another and another. The sentiments of most individuals there leaned toward a lack of appreciation for some of Monique’s behaviors. Characteristics mentioned ranged from the pitch, tonality and volume of Monique’s voice and some of the phrases/terms she uses frequently to the fact that she dances every night on the show.

Before I could make full sense of the conversation, it veered off into areas where only keen listeners are able to hear the truth of what’s really behind the words being spoken. One person said she disliked the way Monique gives lessons in etiquette to her audience and the viewers. This person felt that she didn’t want to watch a show where the host had to do this; that the act of Monique doing so spoke to the person’s original point that both Monique and her viewers are “ghetto”. Others agreed. In fact, one individual said she’d rather watch Wendy Williams, because at least she’s funny. This same person went on to describe her disgust at Monique for wearing dresses that show her arms while she jiggles them around every night. With that, ALL AGREED!!! By the end of the conversation, most individuals expressed sheer disdain for Monique’s overall personality and appearance, saying that the best thing about the show are its guests.

I was shocked! Not just by what was said, but by whom had said it in the first place. Are you kidding me!!!??? I need to mention the fact that neither of the women discussing Monique’s arms has trim arms themselves! Furthermore, most women age 30+ have a little fat on their arms that does happen to sway when they move their arms (myself included). Should these women not wear dresses that reveal their arms?

For one thing, the body needs sun (Vitamin D). You can’t get the amount of nourishment you get from the sun from anywhere else. If you’re in a warm climate, which Monique is, expose your arms to some sun once in a while- regardless of their size. I happen to know, for a fact, that one of the women dissing Monique DOES NOT wear shirts that expose her arms nor skirts that expose her legs in the Summer because she dislikes the way her arms and legs look. Clearly, this is UNHealthy behavior from a woman who is, obviously, unhappy with her own image! For this woman, Monique is a reminder of what she might look like if exposed. Monique is a reflection staring at this woman late at night, when she is all alone, telling her that she is BeautyFull and she is Loved and she just can’t handle that. She sees in Monique the greatness she knows is within her but, for whatever reason, is afraid to Live it. So, instead of Celebrating the Black Woman on her television screen that is Happy with herself, she hates that woman and hates herself at the same time.

As for Monique possessing characteristics of a “ghetto” woman, I leave that to you to discuss amongst yourselves. Most of us know quite a few people that would qualify, somehow, into that category. Since I’m a progressive person who loves progressive people, that kind of discussion becomes uninteresting. What appeals to me more are the things that would cause women to hate instead of celebrate. Now, we’re talking! Once we can get to the root, we can begin to build up one another and ourselves. Then, we’ll be able to bud, blossom and bear fruit that has true value. Isn’t that what being Woman is all about? I think so. What do you think?

~Health Is Wealth~

Copyright © 2009 Tupacamaru Tiwoni, Harlem, USA

FOOD Or SHOES???

2010-02-07T06:03:00.001-05:00

SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT HEALTH-CONSCIOUS PEOPLE. We're some of the wisest people on the planet!! We employ common-sense as our everyday decision maker.

While most of you complain about HOW EXPENSIVE ORGANIC FRUITS and VEGETABLES are, you spend hundreds, even thousands of dollars on designer items advertisers seduced you into believing have real value. You cite the obvious, like, "Fruits and veggies don't last. They go bad after a while." You do have a point there. The object, though, is to EAT THE FRUITS AND VEGGIES BEFORE they go bad. Because, before they go bad, they can do you lots of good! And, while your designer shoes might outlast that organic kale, unfortunately, your colon won't. You'll max out credit cards in order to purchase that one special item, just one more time. But, an investment in your health, your future, seems absurd to you!! I'm not judging you. I'm just saying...
DON'T YOU FIND IT IRONIC to constantly purchase wholesale can goods, consume crates of MSG-laden cups of noodles, barrels of mercury-filled canned dolphin (tuna), drink gallons of k@*l-ad@ and munch on countless bags of blood boiling bar-b-cue and salt & vinegar chips, then take a weekly waltz into B@rgd*rf G**dm&n for an over-priced handbag or those $700 shoes you'll wear once or twice to a get-together with false friends who have equally contradictory priorities? LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING, isn't it? How can one party/ truly celebrate and have a good time at an event when one's health is constantly an issue?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! You're addicted to coffee, lack energy, constantly coughing up mucous, have brittle nails, dry skin, thinning hair, always constipated or have diarrhea, etc..., etc....

IT'S NOT THAT YOU DON'T DESERVE THE SHOES. You just owe it to yourself to be in better physical condition BEFORE wearing them! So, go ahead, buy those M..... B......'s. But, NOT BEFORE YOU PURCHASE HEALTHIER FOODS.

You do want to be able to support yourself (while standing in the shoes/ financially/ in great health=diabetes-free), don't you?

No judgments here. I LOVE YOU. I'm more concerned with your health than your wardrobe. I think you should be, too.

After all, ~HEALTH IS WEALTH~