I sent out a holler in twitter and plurk to see how many mothers out there are thinking the same thing. Surprisingly, others have replied that their preschoolers too have a lot of homework.

For example, the other day, he was assigned to color about 5 pages of drawings! To me that’s not much but to a 3 year old, I don’t expect the same. Thankfully, my son had the perseverance to complete his homework even if I almost lost my mind trying to ensure he doesn’t get distracted while doing it.  He kept breaking into song and dance and wouldn’t stop so his colors went this way and that. I was pulling so hard on my hair trying not to get frustrated as I encouraged him to focus on his work.

Sigh. Teacher, teacher, why do you give us so much homework? Hehe.

Unfortunately, after the nth time of trying and spending hundreds of dollars for the procedure, the result is still negative. I am personally incapable of saying anything that would provide consolation. I have never had difficulty conceiving a child. As a matter of fact, I have to work hard not to get pregnant otherwise, our family would be one of those listed in the Guinness book of world records. I could only feel for her. I knew that it was a depressing and challenging time for her. I wished then that pregnancy were contagious so that somehow I could send some fertility vibes in her direction.

That is why I hate hearing or reading about people who hurt their kids or abandon their kids or terminate their pregnancies simply because they are not ready to have kids, or feel they do not have the time or the space for a kid or they cannot be inconvenienced by a kid or is a kid herself and cannot bear the shame of a bulging belly at age 14. Many people would give an arm and a leg just to be able to conceive and yet it is so easy for some people to disregard the gift of life they were given. I cannot guess what they must be going through but I also cannot understand it.

I hope my friend does not stop trying to conceive even with so many failed attempts. Sometimes there’s no end to the number of times we have to work to get what we most want. Strength is key and support is invaluable. Chin up G!

For his birthday, I promised to take them to the zoo for an afternoon with the animals. My plan was met with jumps of joy and screams of glee. That confirmed that my sons have not yet been brainstormed into thinking that computers mean everything and there is nothing else greater (they can learn that later on in life - hehe).

Entrance Fee to the Ark of Avilon is P200 per kid and P250 per adult and you can go in and out the whole day as many times as you want. I guess since we were there at 11 am on a weekday, they figured we planned to spend the whole day there.

Unlike other zoo’s that I have visited, this one was pretty spacious, airy, tidy and stink-free. The atmosphere inside the ark was surprisingly cooler than it was outside where the summer heat engulfed us earlier. I guess the spaciousness was partly due to small number of groups that were visiting at the same time we were.

There were several animals that were not inside cages (mostly birds) that were as quiet as they could possibly be. So quiet in fact that we barely noticed them until we went for a second round of viewing.

Carrots at P10.00 per piece

The second floor was where we had the most fun as this is where you can feed the animals. My kids had a grand time feeding the rabbits, chickens, the tortoise and the noisy sheep so even if I felt robbed at the price of each carrot or okra used, the happiness my kids felt was truly priceless.

You will be able to tour the entire zoo in an hour or less if you did not linger in any particular area. We finished our tour a little after noon which was perfect for us to have our lunch. The trip was a successful celebration of my son’s birthday and I applaud the owners of the Ark of Avilon for providing children (and adults) with a place where they can commune with Earth’s creatures and have a naturally enjoyable time with friends and family.

More pics here.

Ark Avilon Zoo
Frontera Verde Ortigas Avenue Corner C5, Pasig City
Tel. No.: 706-2992/ 706-2993
Website: http://arkavilonzoo.multiply.com/

A month ago, my father suffered a heart attack. He was in the intensive care unit for 3 days but luckily recovered and eventually discharged. Last week, he passed away after being in a coma for 4 days. He had a smile on his face as his heart stopped.

You are probably wondering why I am not mourning and I must say I am fulfilling my father’s wish to feel happy instead of sad as his physical suffering has ended and he has now met with his Creator.

Recalling the weeks after his first attack, I realize there were tons of "signs" that my father was not planning to stay long. There were the heart to heart talks with all of his children; there were the casual references to dying that drove my mom crazy; the instructions he made sure we knew in case he has another attack; his last day spent at Fun Ranch for his grandson’s birthday. He filled his remaining weeks with as much fun as he could squeeze out of it. He left us with a happy image of a man who had an awesome life instead of a suffering one.

The whole family was wearing an assortment of colorful shirts and tops as we bid him goodbye when he was laid to rest at Loyola Memorial Park. If anyone else found that weird, we didn’t. We were celebrating my father’s happiness and black was not allowed, although tears were not exactly forbidden. We would have brought balloons if that were not overly outrageous.

I asked my sister that day, why I did not feel like my chest would burst with heaviness. She said it was because there are no regrets and no what ifs with the death of our father. He lived a full life and a happy one so why grieve?

Back to my dilemma. I am neither extremely sad nor am I happy that my father is gone. I am just at peace. Now isn’t that a great?

My first reaction was to laugh but instead I asked him what he was doing. He said, he was putting on powder in a matter-of-fact tone. I then followed with "Only Mommy’s do that!". That was what came out of me as I felt the girls vs. boys thing was too complicated for such a young mind. Besides he can learn the physical difference later on.

When I mentioned what happened to my sisters, they asked me what I would feel or do if my son turned out to be gay. My response to them was a facial expression that meant something like… "should I feel something.. different than what I feel now?". I then told them that I will not mind if he turned out gay or otherwise. He is my son after all. But that’s me. Many would disagree.

The gay child question I think is one that is asked of many parents and would be parents.  The common reactions from people I know are "I hope not", and some even "I will beat him into being a man", and most mothers would say "I will love him whatever happens".

I was raised believing there were only men and women, girls and boys and each very different and very unique. A lot of people around me were brought up the same way. So it is understandable to a certain extent when they have a not so normal reaction to their son sporting some cheek blush and their daughters kiss other’s daughters (and not for fun).

Personally, because I was raised in such a society, I can only hope that whatever my son or daughter (hehe I wish) turns out to be, their lives don’t turn out to be as difficult as I imagine it could be. I can only hope that whatever they do with their lives and their free time, they don’t have to worry about being who they are just because somebody, some community, some religion or some culture wants to dictate what they should be.

These are some of the ad jingles that run through my head as I try to sleep every night. For some reason my two boys have caught the tune and have been jumping to the music of these TV commercials every chance they get.

My family and I rarely tune in to local TV channels and if we do, its only to watch the early morning Unang Hirit or the evening news. In addition, we often watch those investigative or feature programs that are shown on Saturday night. Fortunately the channels that we frequently tune in to show commercials that I do not find offensive. And these are what my kids have come to mimic.

Now I don’t know who is smarter, the creators of those catchy jingles or my kids who upon hearing them once are able to memorize the words and sing the lyrics. I watch them fondly as they play but each night find it difficult to chase away the words that remind me of ice cream with three flavors and an iced dessert made with ube (a.k.a purple yam).

Know more about me.

With all the smart *ss comments and questions I received from the my two very intelligent boys, I could have created a whole season’s show on my own. Most of their comments are really turned into some form of wisecrack by the tone of their voices and the accompaniment of rolling eyes. I myself have been told many times that I have a very animated face whenever I talk so maybe that’s where they mimicked the facial expressions. Only its much much cuter when they are the ones who do it.

Do you have a collection of your own? What memorable quotes or quips from your kids can you remember?

• Son: "Mommy, nagbebenta ako, bili ka" (Mommy, I’m selling, buy something)
  Mommy: "Magkano to?" (How much?)
  Son: "100 million pesos". Expensive!
• Son: "Mommy use these brown shoes, not that. Magsusugat paa mo dyan. (You’ll hurt your feet if you use that)" (The brown shoes were ballet flats and I was wearing heeled pumps).
• Son: "Ang baho mo Mommy. (You stink Mommy)" I then realized something smelled back. I realized he farted! LOL.
• Son: "Ako payat, si Yaya payat, si Kuya payat, si Mommy mataba" (I’m thin, Yaya is thin, my brother is thin, my Mommy is fat). What the?!!
• Son: "Mommy, why is the moon following us?"
  Mommy: "Uhh, I don’t know baby. Maybe he is stalking us."
  Son: "What is stalking?"
  Mommy: "Uhh… we’re home!"
• Son: "Mommy, is salt good for you?"
  Mommy: "Not really."
  Son: "Then why did you put salt in my egg?" Uhh. Says to myself - yeah Mommy so why did you?

Its these precious moments that make me suddenly smile in the middle of the day especially when things get too hectic or stressful. Sometimes I think, I must have done something good to be blessed with such lovable kids.

He is doing fine now and out of the hospital but that hellish week still lingers in my mind and I cannot help but be emotional as I think of the man who has been a large influence and inspiration to my life. Those who are close to me know how I am such a daddy’s girl. But, like all families around the world, my dad and I have had our share of spats and arguments. It is a sad thing but the reality is, things are not what they used to be between my dad and myself.

Watching him lie on his hospital bed made me recall specific father-daughter times that I have kept locked in my collection of treasured memories.

Tatay- (Filipino term for Dad)

Remember that time when I was in college when a creepy man in a car followed me as I walked to the bus station, asking me to ride with him in his car. You walked me to the bus station everyday after that until I told you I was fine walking by myself again.

Remember that time when mommy said I couldn’t have a boyfriend until I graduated from college? You came over and whispered to me that you were ok with me having a boyfriend after I have turned 18 and winked at me conspiratorially.

Remember that time I was in the US, working, far from the whole family, and something bad had happened but I couldn’t go home? You had sent me snail mail. The letter was several pages long in your cursive handwriting.  You had sent me a reassuring and comforting letter, full of strength and wisdom. I held on to it and your words kept me sane the last 2 months of my time abroad.

Remember that time I told you I was pregnant with my then boyfriend? You just hugged me tight. I was soo scared to tell you before that so I waited for so long. You had no harsh words for me and that was what I needed desperately at that time.

Remember our song? I had discovered Bob Carlisle while I was in the US and fell in love with his song "Butterfly Kisses". I get teary eyed every time I listen to it. I had always dreamed that the song was ours and the story would be. My own ceremony turned out differently than the song described but that’s for another post. I even bought a book of pictures that translated the song and sent it to you across the seas. I know you still have it. I still listen to it a lot and it is still one of my favorite songs of all time.

Let me share with you why Butterfly kisses touches my heart:

There’s two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven and she’s
daddy’s little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it’s my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I’ve done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She’s looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don’t mind I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I’ve done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said "I’m not
sure-I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl."
She leaned over…gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it’s just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry!"

Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn’t ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I’ll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

I have not met one parent who did not have a problem with getting their children to eat vegetables. Just a few days ago, I witnessed one mom trying to coax her son to stop taking the lettuce out of the burger she bought him. I looked at them amusingly and turned to look at my son who was busy finishing his share of our food. He was eating everything, meat, onions, veggies, everything.

Not to say I have not had my share of cajoling and encouraging and maybe even some bribing just to get my kids to eat one more vegetable. Although I can’t really recall the last time I had to do it. I guess I have always been lucky or I must have done something right that my kids picked up on.

I think it happened when they were at that copycat stage, mimicking everything their parents and everyone around them would do. Being the food enthusiast that I am, my face turns very expressive whenever food enters my mouth. Be it yum, yuck or otherwise. When they saw that I was putting the icky veggies into my mouth and not spitting it out, they must have thought it was good for them and so started eating it as well. Then they started having favorites and by then it was easy to "force" other varieties to them, even when they did not like it. I say force because there are still moments when they are not in the mood to eat veggies.

Leading by example. The power of imitation. Now isn’t that the perfect example of taking advantage of something that can sometimes prove to be irritating?