Mother to Son

Where Is Our Compassion

2009-12-20T05:33:00.000-08:00

This past week, Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals died after falling out of a truck bed during an argument with his fiancée. This story saddens me not so much for the lost of life which really ended that shouldn’t have but because of the venom, anger and judgment against his fiancée. Yes, she will forever have to live with this situation and wonder if she or he could have done things differently. That’s a given and that’s an internal struggle she will have to grapple with. What I don’t understand is the lack of compassion and the need to judge others taking shape this week that have been pervasive in a few stories garnering national attention.

Take another case, the one of Shellie Ross, whose son drowned this week. Were it not for the fact that Shellie tweeted about his death this story may have gone unnoticed. But his death rocked the Twitter sphere because that simple click of the button inflamed some. They blamed her for the drowning alleging she was too busy tweeting to watch him and that she remained on Twitter after his death and this wasn’t the appropriate venue to grieve.

All I can say is I can’t imagine being in either situation but I don’t understand the lack of compassion at issue. Yes, there remain hard questions to ask about both situations but until we learn something more or either is charged with something where is our compassion. Both of these individuals have lost someone significant in their lives around the holidays. Their pain is tremendous and as people we need to learn to support people first and foremost.

This simple trait has been lost somewhat in our society. I don’t know if it’s because people are angry about the loss of jobs, the government, big banks or that things aren’t going in the right direction for them as a whole but I’ve notice a more angry America. No matter the reason for our anger we can’t stop having compassion for others. After all, compassion and empathy are key to a humane and just society. Our kids need to see it, feel it and understand it. Otherwise, we will continue to raise children who don’t recognize their collective role in our society. We need them to understand they are their brother’s keeper, that we live in a global world and that what occurs in Africa, Asia and anywhere else affects them, and to respect the life of others. We simply can’t teach them if compassion and/or empathy aren’t taught as well.

Do you agree or disagree? Why do you think so much anger, blame and resentment are at issue in our society right now?

Daycare Feeds Kids Sleeping Pills So They Will Nap

2009-12-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

Say it isn’t so. This couldn’t have happened at a daycare in the house of the Lord. A daycare in Ohio is under investigation and facing a lawsuit filed by parents for allegations that the workers gave children an over the counter medicine in candy to make the children nap.

The police sent a letter to parents as well as called each parent to let them know about the investigation. The medicine, a sleep supplement, melatonin, was allegedly given to the children to help them sleep during the center’s regular naptime. The letter recommended that parents contact the Poison Control Center or their family pediatrician to inquire about the effects of the drug. According to the Mayo clinic website, it is thought that if the drug is taken for more than 2 months the side effects may be harmful.

Although according to news reports, the two workers believed responsible were fired, this is just disheartening. After all, many parents, especially moms, struggle each day with the conflict about whether to leave their children in the care of others and to hear something like this makes that decision even more difficult.

If you are a parent and you’re considering whether to put your child in a daycare center or someone else’s care consider the following:

1. Are they licensed? Is it a national center or a home location? Although licensing isn’t a 100% proof method to ensure nothing like this ever happens, it does ensure that at least minimum standards are implemented by the person you’re entrusting your children to. Also consider a national center such as KinderCare, Tutor time, etc. Although the quality of care varies by location, at least a national center will also have some minimum standards for its locations or franchisees to abide by.

2. Ask for referrals and speak to current parents of the center. When my kids were younger and in daycare, I would wait outside the daycare center of places I was considering and ask parents entering and leaving their thoughts about the particular center. This allowed parents to speak freely about the center out of earshot or view of the center employees.

3. Google the center. Now there are so many sites that discuss daycare centers that you would be amazed what you can find about a particular center. Many of those sites also allow for parent comments and I would read them carefully.

4. Ask for insurance. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for proof of insurance. This to me is an important component because it shows the center recognizes that it has serious obligations with respect to your child.

5. Take your child with you to visit the center. How does he or she interact with the staff and other children? Do you get a good feeling about the center?

6. Learn about the staff. Trying to judge if staff is qualified and caring can be difficult but ask some preliminary questions. What’s your turnover rate? How long has each staff member been there? What are the requirements for the lead classroom staff? Are degrees required or a high school diploma sufficient?

7. Stimulating curriculum. What’s the curriculum? Do they encourage active play with your kids or is there a lot of nap and inactive time?

What do you think? Do you have other tips or suggestions for parents who have kids in or may need to put in daycare? Has anything this ridiculous happened at your daycare or a daycare your kids use to go to?

Not Without My Son

2009-12-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite television movies was: Not Without My Daughter starring Sally Fields. This was a movie about a mother who was tricked into going to Iran to visit her husband's family and then learning once there that they would not be returning to the US. The battle to escape Iran and its tyranny was not without difficulty. Although in the movie, the mom eventually escapes and makes her way back to the U.S., I'm reminded of this movie today when I think about what's happening with David Goldman. Goldman is an American father engaged in a custody battle with his son's step father fighting to bring his son back to America from Brazil.

The custody battle began in 2004, when David Goldman's wife, Bruna Bianchi, took their 4-year-old son from their home in New Jersey to Rio de Janeiro for what was to have been a two-week vacation. She never returned, instead remarrying there and retaining custody of their son. She died last year in childbirth.

Although the Brazil lower court ruled this week that the son should be returned, Brazil's highest court halted the return so the battle continues for Goldman.

It really is sad to see this happening. On the one hand, it's great to know that two fathers love this child this much that they are doing everything they can to keep him or get him back. However, it's an afront to parental rights for the Brazilian courts to prevent a son, who is not in any harm's way, from being returned to his father. What do you think? Do you think the American gov't should do more to intervene here?

Stressed Teacher Cuts Off Students Braids

2009-12-14T19:13:00.000-08:00

Everytime I think I've heard it all something else happens that makes me wonder what is happening in schools. A Milwaukee Public School teacher cut off one of her students braids because she kept playing with her hair. The only explanation that has been given is that the teacher was stressed.

I understand that teachers are having to deal with more students in classrooms, more problem students and less parental involvement. But teachers more and more seem to be finding inappropriate resolutions to address issues. Look at this video and tell me what you think? Do you think this teacher should be disciplined?

Are We Abandoning Our Kids?

2009-12-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

Recently, test results were released for the National Assessment of Educational Progress tests for participating districts nationwide. Many were shocked when it was announced that the Detroit Public Schools district ranked lowest of participating districts nationwide and even in the history of the test. Sixty nine percent of fourth grades scored below basic level on the math test while 77 percent of eight graders were below basic.

Let’s have some real talk. This is shameful, and it’s a sign that kids and education are being put on the backburner. In fact, one local leader called for jailing and civil lawsuits against anyone in the city’s educational system failing to do its part to help educate children in the system.

I hope this also includes the parents. Education is a collaborative process between schools and parents and such dismal test results show a break down in the collaborative process. There is no way any educator can spend a day with a child doing math and not immediately recognize that child is not at grade level. Likewise, any parent spending quality time with their children helping with homework knows if their child can’t do basic math or lacks understanding of simple math concepts.

This isn’t to blame parents but let’s be clear. The buck starts and stops with the parent in my opinion. These are our children. School districts come and go but our children remain our children. We are the one consistent thing in their lives and we have to fight for them, their education and stand up when we believe they are not getting a fair shake. Let me tell you, the test results suggest the kids in Detroit aren’t just being left behind but they’ve been abandoned. While Detroit may be an extreme case, I suspect many schools are producing kids that are underperforming. We have an education crisis in our country and while we’re arguing about healthcare, Afghanistan and jobs, let’s not forget where our real future lies: in our children.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO:

1. Spend time with your child helping him or her do his homework. This will help you understand what areas they need to improve on.
2. Get involved with your child’s school. Kids whose parents are involved tend to do better.
3. Communicate with your child’s teacher. Let your teacher know if you think your child isn’t getting something and ask them to provide your child additional assistance.
4. Get your child help in subjects they need/make sure they are in school each day. Don’t get me wrong I know that some of the work the kids bring home seems foreign but ask your child’s teacher for an answer sheet or get your child a tutor. If you can’t afford one, see if there is someone else: another relative, a family friend who can do it. If not, ask the teacher or school principal about starting a tutorial program or ask the teacher if they would be willing to provide additional after school assistance. After all, your child may not be the only kid in need of help. If this doesn’t work, see if the parents can get together and create some type of tutorial program. Approach colleges about getting help from students. Additionally make sure your child attends school everyday unless they are sick. A child who misses 50 and 60 days out of a year can’t be expected to be proficient in a subject area.
5. Leverage school activities, extra assignments and projects/give your kids supplemental work. Have your kids take advantage of any extra assignments given by the teachers or extra activities the schools may offer. Additionally, parents can supplement their children’s education with a lot of online sites such as edhelper.com, mathplayground.com.

What do you think can be done to ensure our kids succeed?

Hail To The Princess and The Frog

2009-12-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

I must admit I was really excited to hear that the Disney movie: The Princess and the Frog took first place at the box office this weekend garnering $25 million. Honestly, I didn’t know how Disney’s movie featuring its first African American princess would fare, but I ventured out to see it, despite the weather, because I understand the importance of opening weekend to movies. I also wanted to do my part to highlight to movie executives that movies involving African American leads, even if it is a fairy tale princess, do sell.

Although the creation of Princess Tiana, isn’t without its critics, her creation has created a lot more enthusiasm and joy than critics. After all, this is the first time a company such as Disney has truly recognized and embraced the concept that African-Americans want to see images we can relate to and identify with. We also want merchandising that we can purchase for our children that look like them. Our children, after all, love Disney movies too.

While many people are happy about the creation of Princess Tiana because of what it says about beauty and Princess Tiana’s appeal to the hopes and dreams of African-American girls, as a mom with three sons, I’m more excited about what Princess Tiana says to my sons. It’s an opportunity to highlight to African-American boys that African-American girls, despite what is portrayed in pop culture, are beautiful and princesses too. Although I’m certain none of these issues were in the thoughts of executives at Disney when Princess Tiana was created, I’m, nevertheless, appreciative for the image.

I think great companies, like Disney, are ones that recognize that the world is changing and they adapt to it and embrace that change in a way that highlights to its consumer they recognize their value.

What did you think of the movie? What effect did Disney's creation of an African American Princess have on you?

Can We Please End The Tiger Woods Saga?

2009-12-09T23:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I’m late to the party blogging about the Tiger Woods story. But let me be honest. I’m not one who likes to get caught up in Sex, Lies & Videotape type situations. This story, however, has dragged on for days and continues to take twists and turns really like something out of a sitcom or reality tv series.

But I ask, what is it about the Tiger Wood’s scandal that has people so enthralled? Is it that he’s a celebrity, is it the number of sex partners, or is it that somehow we like to marvel in other’s fall from grace. Whatever it is, the truth is it’s really a shame. After all, this story has gotten more publicity these last few weeks than the Afghanistan surge, the health care debate, poverty, the economy or the fact that Detroit Public School children national test schools were the worst in testing history!

The truth is people we have bigger issues to tackle. We have jobs to create. Children to protect and educate. And people to help find hope. Listen, the Tiger Woods scandal is just a further reminder that athletes, no matter how clean the image the media sells us, should not be role models. They are athletes, nothing more, nothing less and if we recognize this then I truly believe all the hoopla would be drastically reduced and we can focus on more important things: like the fact that our children are illiterate in Detroit and dying in Chicago.

Autism Speaks: What's Causing The Increase?

2009-12-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

A new study shows that 1 in 91 children in the US are diagnosed with Autism, up from 1 in 150 in 2007. The increase seems to affect boys more than girls with 1 in 58 boys having autism. Why the huge jump? There doesn’t seem to be any clear cut explanation. Some suggest vaccines, but the studies are inconclusive as to vaccines and there has been no thimerosal in vaccines (except flu vaccines) for more than eight years. Yet, the number of autism cases seem to be rising. Others attribute the increase to changing definition of autism and suggest that there is an increase but simply more kids are being diagnosed. If it were cuase by mercury preservative, then kids born since 2001 would show reduce rates of autism but that doesn’t appear to be the case.

It seems that possibly some environmental factors are at play here. What do you think is causing the increase rate of autism?

Autism is a disorder of neural development that is characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old.

To learn more about autism go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/. You can also read the following books:

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

Autism Spectrum Disorders: The Complete Guide to Understanding Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, and Other ASDs

Since We're Friends: An Autism Picture Book

Feed It Forward: Give Away 30 $10 Gift Certificates to Restaurants For Absolutely Free While Supplies Last

2009-12-09T02:20:00.001-08:00

Feed It Forward is providing you the opportunity to give from the heart and enrich the lives of people around you through the gift of meals and memories. Give a free $10 Restaurant.com Gift Certificate to 30 different people, everyday until Christmas. Simply choose whom to give to and we take care of the rest.
Give to family. Give to friends. Give to neighbors. Give to anyone who has touched your life, but most of all, give! Thank you for helping to Feed It Forward™. These make great Christmas gifts to provide to people who have touched your life. Click HERE to get started.

How do you feed it or pay it forward?

Happy Holidays From My Family To Yours: Click Play To See Greeting

2009-12-04T10:32:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Happy Holidays! We're blessed to have you in our lives. This time of year I'm reminded of all the wonderful things God has bestowed on me: amazing husband, great kids and a really wonderful life. Thank you for following me. What do you like most about the holiday season.

Note: This cool greeting was made with Smilebox. You know I love getting cool stuff for free so if you want to make your own card or greetings to send to others, you can. Click on the photo below or visit Smilebox.com and create amazing greetings with your photos, videos, and music. Email them free.

Want Rich Kids? Give the Gift of Financial Freedom

2009-12-02T04:48:00.001-08:00

Let’s admit it. Many kids are being raised without understanding the value of saving and spending wisely. And even fewer children are being taught the concepts of entrepreneurship and wealth accumulation. Instead of buying children a lot of toys that they will cease playing with a few days after Christmas, consider giving the following as holiday gifts to the children in your life that will go a long way to teach them to be financially savvy or that will start to help them generate wealth.

1. Financial Books. There are a wealth of financial books out there for kids. More and more parents are starting to realize that they must start earlier if they want to raise financially savvy kids. As such, there are a plethora of financial books available for kids. Two of my favorite are What Color Is Your Piggy Bank?: Entrepreneurial Ideas for Self-Starting Kids (Millennium Generation Series) (Millennium Generation Series)
by Adelia Cellini Linecker, for kids 10-14 contemplating entrepreneurship, and covering the world of jobs, starting a business and managing money, and The Berenstain Bears' Trouble with Money (First Time Books(R)) by Stan and Jan Berenstain for 4-7 year olds. Costs: What Color is Your Piggy Bank $14 and Berenstain Bears $4.

2. Piggy Banks. The evolution of piggy banks over the last several years has been remarkable. Take the Money Mama & The Three Little Pigs bank. A four chambered bank with separate compartments for spending, investing, saving and donating. Also consider the Moonjar, a bank with three compartments: one for saving, spending and giving. The bank comes with a passbook for recording transactions. Both banks cost between $25 and $30.

3. Board games. Let’s face it. Kids love toys. This year instead of giving them video games or noneducational toys, consider giving board games like Cashflow for Kids and Monopoly, both of which teach kids about the principles of money, cashflow, and entrepreneurship. Costs: $15-$40.

4. Open a savings account. Every child, if possible, should have a savings account. This is a real life, hands on way to teach kids about money and financial principles. It’s also a way to teach children about the concept of compound interest, keeping track of money and visiting financial institutions. ING DIRECT is running great deals right now if you open an online savings account. ING DIRECT - High Yield Savings with the Orange Savings Account.. You can also investigate opening a savings account with your local bank or credit union.

5. Purchase savings bonds/stocks. This year give something that will increase rather than decrease in value like savings bonds and stocks. These are gifts that will last children well into the future. Savings bonds can be purchased through your job and deducted from your pay. Check with your payroll department or you can buy them direct from Treasury Direct. You can also begin investing in stocks for as little as $4 via sites like Sharebuilder.com.

MOTHER TO SON: HAS HELICOPTER PARENTING REACHED ITS END?

2009-11-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

Time Magazine’s cover story this week: How Much Parenting Is Too Much is a really great story that focuses on the over parenting craze that has taken shape throughout America and puts so called helicopter parenting- overprotective, always hovering, smothering parents- under the microscope.

The article delves into the counter-movement taking place in the country. The counter movement known as “slow parenting” or “free range” parenting is all about giving kids some space and allowing them to fail, get hurt and start again with the belief that they will be stronger in the end.

In my opinion, the counter movement is a great thing. As a parent, I’m the first to tell you that I want my children to succeed and that yes, at times, I feel a bit of anxiety about their future. It’s natural. But what concerns me is the lack of balance that the anxiety has taken over our lives. Too many parents are scared to allow their children to ride bikes, go to the store or walk to schools by themselves. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying send your preschooler or kindergartener to the store by his or herself. But we seem no longer able to assess risk and have tried to eliminate all possibility of risk from the equation. As such, I agree with Lenore Skenazy, the woman behind freerangekids.com, who may have started the movement that we are infantilizing our kids into incompetence and that age 10 has become the new 2!

The truth is our parents survived. As they tell it, they walked miles to school alone, went trick or treating by themselves, and wandered entire neighborhoods on their bikes until the street lights came on. Yes, I know times were a lot safer back then but maybe the answer isn’t overprotecting our kids but teaching them to assess risk, how to rebound from failure and make wiser decisions. After all, these are life skills that will serve them well once they enter the real world.

What do you think? Are you a helicopter parent or a free range parent?

To read more about Free Range Parenting, check out Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy.

My Thanksgiving Message To Everyone

2009-11-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

As we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States, I am reminded of what I am thankful for this year. At the top of my list is my family! The recent addition of our 3rd son this year reminds me everyday just how wonderful life is and how thankful we are for the blessings of God.

I am also thankful for being able to create and maintain this blog and engage with you on the issues most affecting our children from education to crime. Our children represent our greatest gift to humanity and our are legacy and I’m so passionate about them and their future and the world they inherit.
Remember the holidays are a reminder of what’s important. As such, on this day take time to spend with your family and recount your blessings for I’m certain you have many!

Just know that today my family and I are wishing each of you a Happy Thanksgiving.

You're Not The Father

2009-11-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

The New York Times has a great article in today’s paper entitled Who Knew I Was Not The Father. The article exposes a serious issue taking place in our country: one of false paternity. This involves a situation where men believe they are the father of a child and claim responsibility and then later find out that they aren’t but then must still pay child support for that child. The reason for this is really outdated laws that have yet to catch up with modern technology and realities.

Take the case of Mike L. profiled in the Times article. He learned that his daughter wasn’t his daughter after all and that now his ex-wife is engaged to be married to the daughter’s biological father so while the daughter’s biological family remains in tact, Mike has to pay child support for their child.

Now I’m all for protecting the interest of the child, but what sense does this make. After all, the men stuck paying child support in many of these cases are men who took the obligation of fatherhood seriously. They lived up to what they thought was their responsibility only to find out that they’ve been lied to and that the court system can offer very little, if any, recourse.

Such antiquated laws will only push men to question paternity first and take responsibility later. I would rather see those fathers who acted in good faith be allowed to stop making any further child support payments but be unable to recoup already paid child support payments.

What do you think? Do you think men who find out later that children they’ve paid support for should be allowed to stop paying? Do you think the father should have any remedy against the mother?

To read the NY Times article, click here

Would You Kill Your Own Child?

2009-11-19T04:01:00.000-08:00

I know this is a hard question for most of us. So it boggled my mind to read how a 37 year old man recently executed his 15 year old son even though the son pleaded for his life. When I first read the story about Jamar Pinkney Jr., I only wondered what could make a father kill his son in
such a cold, calculated way.

According to the Detroit Free Press, family members said the murder stemmed from a confession made by the son who told his mother that he'd touched his 3-year-old half-sister inappropriately at his father's Detroit home. The mom called the dad and informed him of the confession seeking help for their son. The facts surrounded the son's murder are just too sad for me to discuss.

To read the rest of the story click here.

Mother To Son: Should Single Parents Have To Go To Combat Zones?

2009-11-17T16:44:00.000-08:00

Single mom Alexis Hutchinson has been jailed and facing a possible court martial after failing to show up for her flight to Afghanistan on November 15. Hutchinson had no one to take care of her 11-month old son and she says she had been told to report anyone and that her son would be placed in foster care. Hutchinson failed to report and has been arrested.

The Army requires all single-parent soldiers to submit a care plan for dependent children before they can deploy to a combat zone. Hutchinson’s mother initially agreed to care for the child but became unable to because she was already taking care of 3 other people and returned the child to Hutchinson a few days before she was to deploy.

Do you think single parents should have to go to combat zones? If so, do you think they should be exempt if they can't obtain child care?

Preparing Our Children for the 21st Century

2009-11-16T03:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I interviewed Angela Jackson with the Global Language Project (GLP) on Update with Doris Moore Bailey, a radio show I co-host. Angela is doing some profound things in the world of language immersion through her GLP organization. The GLP is an innovative educational movement that empowers disadvantaged public-school students to excel in a globalized world by teaching them languages other than English.

As many of you know, I’m a huge fan of kids being at least bilingual. I think in a world where we’re seeing the rise of countries like China, India and Brazil, it’s imperative that American children, especially minority youth, become bilingual in order to compete in a global world. Since foreign language is not part of the curriculum in many US schools, it like so many other things, becomes an issue of access. Unfortunately, the parents of many disadvantaged youth do not have the resources to enroll their children into foreign language programs.

Even so, there are a few things parents can do to get their children access to another language.

1. Free Programs. See if there are any language immersion programs being offered by yoru district, a community recreation center, a church or some other organization in the neighborhood that you can enroll your children in.

2. Form a group with other parents in the school to have their kids taught a foreign language. See if any of the parents interested in forming the group can speak another language and would be willing to teach it to the children. If not, consider hiring a college student or see if you can find a qualified volunteer.

3. Lobby the school and the superintendent to get foreign language included in the curriculum. Parents have a lot of power and as a group can effectuate change.

4. Consider teaching them yourself. There are many foreign language sites on the internet where you can download worksheets and learning the meaning of words in different languages. Although this may not be the most effective method, you should be able to provide enough information to get your child saying a few words.

Any other thoughts about how parents can get their children exposure to a foreign language

Trailer For Why Did I Get Married Too!

2009-11-15T10:18:00.001-08:00

The trailer for the new Tyler Perry Movie is out! Check it out. Also share your thoughts about what makes a good marriage or relationship?

Ensuring Our Children's Success

2009-11-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

My husband and I attended our sons’ parent teacher conferences last night. To say, we were ecstatic when we left is an understatement. As parents, we are always delighted to know that are children are excelling especially as it relates to math and reading.

This is because so much has been made about the reading and math achievement gap as it relates to African-American youth, especially our sons. The existence of an achievement gap is not news. Nor is the fact that large numbers of American children, whether they graduate high school or not, are able to read, write and do simple math. American schools are failing our children but the failure disproportionately affects students of color.

As such, my husband and I have been adamant to ensure that our sons don’t fall into those statistics and we spend a great deal of time supplementing their public school education. So we were very pleased to learn from our sons’ teachers that they were both at the top of their class in math and that a lot of our extra efforts in terms of tutoring them and challenging them beyond their grade levels is paying off.

As parents, I think, if we don’t believe the public education our children are receiving is sufficient, and private or home school aren’t viable options, I think there are many things we can do to supplement their education including:

(1) Spend extra time educating them. I usually spend an extra hour with my kids in the morning prior to the start of the school day working on lessons with them. We usually make an event out of it. I allow the boys to pick words for each other to have to spell, or I give them a story scenario and ask them to finish it and usually reward a prize to the best storyteller. Great sites for lessons are Edhelper.com and mathplayground.com.

(2) Expose them to a foreign language. We are huge fans of foreign language and culture in our household. It’s unfortunate that many schools no longer include foreign language as part of their curriculum because it is one of the most important things we can teach our children. If you can afford it and it’s not offered in the schools, find an after school program. If money is an issue, look online for downloadable lessons.

(3) Use your library and online forums. Libraries are filled with lots of educational information that can benefit our kids. There are many great books and lessons on CD-roms and DVDs that can be used to further their education. The same is true of online sites. I have often encouraged my children’s math development by allowing them to play math games at sites like funbrain.com but there are many such online sites.

These are some of the methods I use to ensure my children have a leg up in our society and encourage their educational success. What do you do to encourage your child’s development or ensure they succeed in school? Are there resources, online or offline that you would recommend?

Russell Simmons to Bill Cosby: Lay Off The Youth

2009-11-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

In a recent open letter, written on his Global Grind website, Russell Simmons asked Bill Cosby to stop criticizing youth and focus more on the social ills that create their behavior. In the open letter which critiques Cosby and his new CD, "State of Emergency", Simmons wrote:

“There are a lot of great entertainers who do great things. Bill Cosby is one of them. He has always used his voice to right what he thought was wrong. However, I believe that too often Mr. Cosby has wrongly placed the blame.
Bill Cosby is an example of someone from the older generation who has consistently blamed the poets and asked suffering community members to bear the full burden of guilt for the struggles that they endure. It is certainly not that he and the rest of the elders don’t care, because they do. In fact, their intentions are pure and good. All the things they say are actually true. What they don’t understand is that the young people who they criticize did not create their own realities. They did not create the crumbling education system that we school them in. They did not create the drug epidemic and drug wars that have resulted in a dysfunctional family structure. They did not create the health care crisis that does not treat them. They did not create the culture of violence that they fall victim to.
While it is true that each one of us can make a change at any moment, it is equally true that at every minute we are all doing the best we can. If you knew better, you would do better. Therefore, those who care and have resources could/should work to create the kind of support systems that could inspire change.”

In closing, Simmons said it was time for a man-to-man discussion about the issues. Now, far be it for me to take sides, and I won’t because I do believe that Cosby is right in that youth and parents have to take personal responsibility. But I also believe we have to recognize that the ills that plague our community and the youth behavior don’t exist in a vacuum.

However, what I’m most grateful for about this letter is that it can serve as the start of a dialogue between two powerful men in the black community who may be able to generate some real change. It’s also a great example of black men leading the way and trying to make a difference. And I hope both Simmons and Cosby are smart enough not to let the media make this into a battle between the two of them as it seems to be doing in the stories I’ve read. Imagine what could be accomplished if these two powerful forces united.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree that it would be a step in the right direction if these two could come together and help advance the cause of youth in the community?

Are Our Kids Doomed?

2009-11-06T16:48:00.000-08:00

A recent study published in the November issue of Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine says that nearly half of the nation’s children, and nearly 90% of black children will be on food stamps at some period in their lives. The estimate comes from an analysis of 30 years of national data and, according to an AP story, “seems consistent with other recent research suggesting that more than 40 percent of U.S. children will live in poverty or near-poverty by age 17; and that half will live at some point in a single-parent family.”

This analysis, in conjunction with another recently released statistic from the Department of Defense that 75% of military-age youth are ineligible to join the military because they are overweight, fail to graduate high school or have a criminal record, thus, creating a potential national security threat bolsters concerns that many of America’s youth may be at economic risk and makes you wonder how we’re preparing the next generation to succeed in this country.

While I have my doubts about the accuracy of the numbers from both the fit for military duty and food stamp studies, you have to admit there is something happening with our youth and these statistics paint a grim picture of their future. It makes me wonder are we leaving behind a huge segment of the next generation while failing to preparing yet another segment to take on the challenges of the future.
Now let me be clear, I know there are plenty of hard working youth, and I’m always cautious about how I talk about the current generation of youth. After all, it seems every generation talks about the one after it as if they are somehow going to destroy the country or aren’t doing enough. But, we have to admit this generation has a lot of challenges facing it that others haven’t from the enormous deficits being created, to the huge number of children being raised in poverty to the obesity issue and the educational system that is leaving far too many children behind.

When I think about this, I am reminded of a phrase that a good friend of mine says of his generation: “we’re the generation with the most doing the least.” It makes you wonder for all of our wealth, technology and so called civilization why we’re raising a generation ill-equipped to lead tomorrow. It also makes me wonder why as a society we haven’t chosen to modernize and prioritize education and healthcare: two things that certainly could give our youth a fighting chance.

In the end, it seems unless things turnaround that our kids’ generation may be the first generation relegated to third world status before it can marshal its resources and the American spirit to prevent that from happening.

Swine Flu: 5 Inventions that Can Help Minimize the Spread

2009-11-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

Believe me, when I say there is fervor throughout the country about the swine flu. People are afraid of getting it. In fact, thousands of people are standing in long lines to get vaccinated and doctors are complaining their high risk patients need it but can’t get it, and then there was a recent story out of New York about two women on a subway who got into a scuffle because one was coughing without covering her mouth and the other didn’t want to get swine flu!

Who can blame her? After all, the government and the media have done a great job of frightening most of the country into a panic. The panic has heightened now that we’re into flu season and kids are back in school. There are some inventions out there that help minimize the spread of germs including the swine flu.

Click HERE to read what those 5 inventions are.

The Sting of Defeat

2009-11-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

It wasn’t a great night in our house last night! As we sat there eating popcorn and watching the election results come in from around the country, my kids, husband and I kept tally of how we fared on the passage of issues we supported and the election or re-election of people we supported. At a local level we fared ok. Several of the candidates we wanted elected to our school board won. Also, I was delighted that a college friend of mine not only won his bid for City Council but was the top vote getter and so will also be Council President.

Despite those wins, as a whole we didn’t do well in terms of passage of issues and election of candidates we supported at both the national and local level although my oldest son fared the best in our household in terms of success on the issues and people he supported. [NOTE: We didn’t all support the same issues and people but everyone was encouraged to determine where they stood on the various people and issues]. The loss of Jon Corzine in New Jersey wasn’t great news for me but the election results from Virginia were (yes we are a family of Independents!) and the 23rd district in New York was a shocker. It was expected the conservative would win in a district that has been conservative for more than 100 years.

For each of us, we lost more than we won. For my two sons, who play sports and are very competitive, losing even in politics is not fun. Nevertheless, the losses at the local and national level provided a great opportunity to discuss winning and losing with my sons and how sometimes what matters most is participation. This is an important lesson because often many people become disenchanted with the process if they sustain too many losses or feel like things never break their way, and I wanted them to understand that in the world of politics, there will be plenty of times in their lifetimes that things won’t go their way but never give up on the process. Despite the losses, the night overall was a success as my 7 year old son noted: the popcorn was great! Indeed, it was and so was the opportunity to help my sons understand their role in the process.

How was election night for you? What did you think about the results?

Election Day: Getting Your Kids Involved

2009-11-03T04:28:00.000-08:00

Today is Election Day all around the country. While there are a few interesting races in my city, I’m most interested in how the governors’ races in Virginia and New Jersey and the Congressional race in New York will turn out because they may give some indication as to where we’re headed as a country.

Nevertheless, Election Day is a great opportunity to talk with and get kids involved in the political process. It’s important that they do since the world we create today is ultimately the world they inherit tomorrow. We love politics in our house. We discuss issues with them and often ask their opinions about matters. Here are a few tips to help your kids learn about what’s going on with them:

1. Take them to the polls. I usually take my kids to the polls with me. This is a great opportunity for them to see democracy at work. Take them into the ballot box with you and show them how to vote.

2. Read the newspaper. Every morning during breakfast we do current events in my house. Usually the week before an election, the papers are filled with information about the upcoming elections. So will be the case after the election. Use the stories as an opportunity to read to your kids or have them read to you and discuss what the stories are about. Ask them to express their views or pose some questions to them about the races and hear their answers. I often will have them write about what they read or ask them a question and have them write an answer. This allows them the opportunity to reflect.

3. Watch the results. Pull out the popcorn, sit down with your kids and watch the results as they come in. I usually make a big deal out of it. This, well maybe the popcorn really, usually gets the kids excited and it’s the opportunity for them to see the ultimate results of everything we’ve discussed with respect to the election.

What ways do you get your kids involved in politics?

What Do You Love About Your Sons?

2009-11-02T08:26:00.001-08:00

I admit it. Outside of constantly telling them to take a bath and to brush their teeth, I absolutely love being a mom to boys. There are so many negative things and images written about black boys that I wanted to share some pretty amazing things about my three sons.

My oldest is the most determined child you would ever meet. If there is something he wants to do but is not good at, he will work at it until he is. He will also outwork you and this determination accounts for a good deal of his success. He will tell you I may not be the best but I'm the hardest worker and that will make up for it.

My youngest son is just an old soul. The most helpful child you will ever meet. He loves hugs and kisses and always takes the time to make anyone he comes into contact with feel special. He already knows his greatest asset is his interpersonal skills.

My youngest, is only 3 months old but has a smile that will make you melt. He also has the type of energy that you can already see bursting from the seams. I already know who is going to be the ham of the family!

These are the 3 things I love most about my sons. What do you love most about your sons and why?