Edmund Designs

Fetch App & Couponing

2025-12-26T10:59:00.000-08:00

Over the past few decades I have tried couponing again and again. I get back in to it, realize how much work it is, quite or burn out, and then go back to my shopping as usual. Don't get my wrong, I'm all about price comparison, checking the price per ounce, and shopping around at several stores to get the best deal when possible. However, in a household that rarely uses name brand, there isn't always much to save on or coupons that apply to our situation. If you're in an ingredient only type household, Aldi tends to be the way to go, if you have access to one, and Dollar General seems to be the best, if you go for the Saturday deal, for laundry and cleaning supplies. There's only so many ways you can save without spending more time than it was every really worth. Don't forget your time=money.

So with all that in mind, I tried the app route, and found out how many also did not apply to me. Again, so many are associated with name brands, that still end up costing more than the store brand, and a lot of them want to link to your bank account. I gave up on Ibotta a while ago, Checkout 51 was so disappointing, and I could never get enough on Shopkick to make it worth my while. It's been extremely frustrating. However, the one app I have kept is Fetch. There are a few things I really like about this app, and the ways I have best found to use the app. As you can see from below, I have earned $110 back in gift cards this year, but I really didn't start trying until September of this year.

Here is the best way I have found to use Fetch. First off, games are not the best way to earn money unless- A: There is a promotion for 2x or 3x the points, B: There are game bonuses, like complete 2 tasks for 1000 points. These game tasks are different for each game but are typically something like "complete level 1," "play 2 games," or "watch 50 ads in game." So for this reason I will download a game, see what the tasks are and how much they are worth, but I rarely go past level 50 as the gaps between goals gets bigger and bigger. So just keep your eyes peeled for game promos and extras if you like playing games, and compare their goals to see if they are worth playing.

Second, complete your purchases through their app. So if you have the walmart app, and you prefer it, do your shopping on the app, load up your cart, but check out through the Fetch app. They typically do 10 points per $1 spent, but this can increase with certain specials. Otherwise, simply scanning the receipts, or having the app track your e-receipts will only get you 25 points per receipt plus any extra points for brand specific promotions.

The stores you can link to are pretty limited for my area but I currently have my app connected to Walmart, Amazon, and my email, which will help with ebay purchases and it even counts my Michaels orders. Remember you are selling your data to these companies, but in a world where everyone else is selling your data, I figure this way I am at least the one profiting from it in some capacity.

Third, watch for promos. Sometimes they do deals where if you make 4 purchases in 3 weeks you get 6000 extra points. These typically have order minimums like $25 or $35 but with walmart already requiring me to spend $35 for a pickup order, its easily done.

Don't go out of your way to get the deals. Meaning, if you weren't going to spend the money, don't, just like with regular couponing. Its not worth your time and effort. I didn't have to buy any special brands or do anything I normally wouldn't have done, except a few extra games, and I paid attention to how much time everything was taking me. If i spend 2 hours on my phone playing a game for 2000 points, that was $1 an hour. Its not worth it. So do the math, its important if you value your time and have other things to be doing.

Finally, when you sign up use a referral code for 2000 points upon sign up, and then refer the app to your friends for 4000 points when they scan their first receipt. There are lots of places to find these codes or you are welcome to use mine. Happy Couponing!

Flower Fairies

2020-02-24T13:28:00.002-08:00

I've been working on flower fairies for about 4 years now, it doesn't seem that long! I am just now starting to see a business take shape out of a hobby. Now I sell on Etsy and locally, but I find my dolls do better on Etsy. I'm not at the stage yet to run from craft fair to craft fair but I believe that will be a good avenue once I have enough inventory and energy.

PMDD Awareness Fairy

Custom for Collab w/ Kats Creations @katscreations777

She wanted this fairy to blend in with a wreath.

Blue Fairy

Skeleton Fairy (still available) I used a pattern

for her wings and took apart dollar tree skeletons.

I had to remove the coating with acetone and then

I shaded them with chalk pastels. I glued the pieces

to form wings. All of her flowers are polymer clay.

Acorn Fairy. Her bodice is a wool roving.

Purple Fairy

Country Chic Fairy.

Mini Fairies.

Purple Flower Fairy (still available). I now make an effort to

make and offer 4 different skin tones for all of my dolls and

fairies. Its been wonderful to hear the feedback from customers

that were under-served before. Representation in art matters.

Rainbow Fairy.

Home Fairy. This fairy is holding embroidery floss

wrapped wire. I find the best way to do this is to wrap

the wire first and then make your shape. I just eyeballed

this work but you could use a guide.

Lantern Fairy. For her lantern I used a glass sphere, used for

jewelry making, and added on polymer clay. I really love how

this one turned out.

Blue Fairy.

Snowball Fairy. (still available). I love the idea of fairies

hiding in plain site. So for Christmas I decided that little

snowball fairies would be cute.

Green and Pink Fairy. Sometimes I have to

make myself add more and more to my fairies.

I can be rather simplistic but I like how it looks

once I'm finished. So for this one I just added

as many rainbow pearls as I could.

Green and Pink Fairy (still available). For wings I often use

butterflies from Hobby Lobby. The work well for a variety of

dolls and people seem to really like them. It an even better

option if you find them clearanced for some reason.

Makeup Fairy (still available). For her little makeup compact

I find that Brat accessories work very well for this size of

doll. I painted the inside of the compact because originally

all the makeup was the same color.

Color Shifting Flower Fairy. I used color shifting pigments for

Solar Color Dust. This is one of their chameleon colors that

shifts from green, blue, and purple.

Rainbow Fairy (still available). I love curling the embroidery

floss with variegations. I don't think it works well straight.

Bird Fairy/Sprite. (still available). I was able to collect some

driftwood in Arizona while visiting my in-laws. The feathers are

real but the skull is resin. I finally have a real skull to do something

with but I had to wait until I found on intact. My mom found a nest

in their chimney, otherwise they can be around $30 on Etsy and

I wasn't going to give that much.

Pink & Blue Fairy

Fairy on Desert Wood (still available). I enjoy adding in different

materials and giving them something to sit on.

Tooth Fairy Jars (still available)

Etsy Shop: Edmund Designs

Facebook: Edmund Designs

Instagram: Edmund Designs

YouTube: Edmund Designs

Jus by Julie 5 Day Cleanse Review

2020-02-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit...blah lately. My depression has been pretty bad, I didn't stick to my diet, stopped exercising, and had a bad fibro flare up. I wanted something simple to follow, little to no work on my part, while eliminating gluten, and give my colon a bit of a break. So I decided to try a Jus by Julie "cleanse." Why do I put "cleanse" in quotations? Well your liver cleanses your body and I don't think I'll be getting rid of any toxins. But, there is a reason I chose Jus over the other competitors.

1. You Need More Than Juice

A lot of the other brands are just juice, which I find wasteful, as well as lacking in important nutrient. The skin of many fruits and veggies have some of the best benefits, including fiber. Fiber is important for carrying a lot of things through your body, for example cholesterol. I was also looking for higher calories since most juices are extremely low in calories. I also wanted to have the option to have protein and Jus has protein smoothies in their custom cleanses.

2. Caloric Intake

I wanted something close to 900 calories a day. This is about the same as the 3 day military diet and because I have done that multiple times without issue, I felt that 900 calories was safe for me. Companies like Pressed Juicery have 3 cleanse levels that allow you to have as much as 1330 calories a day, for beginners, and as low as 760 calories a day. They also contain fiber and protein. I, however, refuse to pay for celery juice. That's a bit of a waste for me, but I also found that I wasn't interested in a lot of their ingredients. I'm not a big date, cucumber, celery, aloe, or parsley kind of person. A lot of the ingredients are just very watery vegetables and because I have absolutely no sense of smell I cannot taste herbs. So parsley, mint, and vanilla extract are completely lost on me. So it was just a matter of preference.

3. Price

Raw - 3 Day Protein Cleanse $99 (sale price).

Pressed Juicery - 5 Days, non-member price, $132.50
- 30 bottles (5 for $20), you can pick what you like, $120

Juice from the Raw - 5 Day, only 20 bottles, $199.99 on Amazon
- 3 Day, collagen infused, 18 bottles, $114.99 on Amazon

Lemonkind - 3 Day, 24 pouches, $139.99

Suja - 3 Day, 21 bottles, $99 on Amazon

Organic Better - 3 Day, 18 bottles, $196

Project Juice - 5 Day, 30 bottles, $375

Jus by Julie - 5 Days, 30 bottles, $123 + free shipping (with 40 % off)

My 5 Day "Cleanse"

Preparing

As recommended by Jus, I took a few days prior to my "cleanse" to eliminate meat and heavier foods. So I spent 2 days just eating fruits and vegetables and drinking tomato juice, I love tomato juice. I also ate a lot of things like grapefruit, kale, and drank kombucha. I tried to cut back on quantity and not eat as late as I usually would.

Day 1

Morning Glow - Cantaloupe, Honeydew, Banana, Orange Juice, Ginger,

Coconut Oil, Collagen

Green Radiance - Spinach, Mango, Apple, Strawberries, Ginger, Coconut Oil

Berry Strong - Blueberries, Almond Butter, Coconut Milk, Chia Seeds,

Cacao Nibs, Organic Vegan Protein, Maca Powder

Spicy Pomegranate - Pomegranate, Lemon, Cayenne Pepper, Agave

X-treme Greens - Spinach, Pineapple, Orange, Hemp Seeds, Lemon

Choco-nana - Cacao Powder, Banana, Strawberry, Pomegranate,

Coconut Milk

Total: 930 Calories

Favs: Morning Glow & Berry Strong (this one was almost like a smoothie bowl).

Weight: I forgot to weigh my first morning so I'm not crediting anymore than a 1 lb loose unless a more significant trend develops.

Day 2

Acai Blend - Açai, Blueberries, Banana, Coconut milk

Green Radiance - Spinach, Mango, Apple, Strawberries, Ginger, Coconut Oil

Sweet Spin - Spinach, Mango, Pineapple, Banana, Rice Milk

Chia Berry - Strawberry, Chia Seeds, Lemon, Pomegranate, Agave

X-treme Greens - Spinach, Pineapple, Orange, Hemp Seeds, Lemon

Choco-nana - Cacao Powder, Banana, Strawberry, Pomegranate,
Coconut Milk

Total: 860 Calories
Favs: Acai Blend & Sweet Spin. I'm finding the greens more palatable than
I did on the first day.
Weight: 157 lbs (happy so far since I've been around 160 lately).

Day 3

Raw Green Protein - Spinach, Romaine Lettuce, Apple, Nutmeg, Chia Seeds,

Organic Vegan Protein, Cinnamon, Ginger, Agave

Watermelon Wizard - Watermelon, Pineapple, Strawberries, Maqui Powder, Lemon

Green Radiance - Spinach, Mango, Apple, Strawberries, Ginger, Coconut Oil

Sweet Spin - Spinach, Mango, Pineapple, Banana, Rice Milk

Chia Berry - Strawberry, Chia Seeds, Lemon, Pomegranate, Agave

X-treme Greens - Spinach, Pineapple, Orange, Hemp Seeds, Lemon

Total: 830 Calories

Favs: Raw Green Protein & Sweet Spin. Loving the greens even more now.

Weight: 155.5 lb

Day 4

Acai Blend - Açai, Blueberries, Banana, Coconut milk

X-treme Greens - Spinach, Pineapple, Orange, Hemp Seeds, Lemon

Chia Berry - Strawberry, Chia Seeds, Lemon, Pomegranate, Agave

Sweet Spin - Spinach, Mango, Pineapple, Banana, Rice Milk

Spicy Lemonade - Lemon, Cayenne Pepper, Agave

Raw Green Protein - Spinach, Romaine Lettuce, Apple, Nutmeg, Chia Seeds,

Organic Vegan Protein, Cinnamon, Ginger, Agave

Total: 800 Calories

Favs: Raw Green Protein & Acai Blend.

Weight: 158 lb How am I back to where I started? Well it may be the salt in the
instant broth I had yesterday, probably not from the herbal tea.
I'm a bit frustrated but I'm also proud I'm on day 4, I don't want
to go and binge a bunch of bad food like I did on day 1. All of
my cravings are for healthy whole foods like roasted veggies
or quinoa. My stomach feels much better. I'm not bloated,
experiencing heartburn, or cramping. I have IBS and tend to
know what bothers me, but plenty of healthy food do bother me
that I enjoy, like red peppers, onion, and tomatoes. So far nothing
has upset my digestion but I also prepped for this for several days
so I don't know how it would go for someone who doesn't really
prepare themselves.

Day 5

Berry Strong - Blueberries, Almond Butter, Coconut Milk, Chia Seeds,

Cacao Nibs, Organic Vegan Protein, Maca Powder

Sweet Spin - Spinach, Mango, Pineapple, Banana, Rice Milk

Chia Berry - Strawberry, Chia Seeds, Lemon, Pomegranate, Agave

X-treme Greens - Spinach, Pineapple, Orange, Hemp Seeds, Lemon

Spicy Lemonade - Lemon, Cayenne Pepper, Agave

Green Radiance - Spinach, Mango, Apple, Strawberries, Ginger, Coconut Oil

Total: 710 Calories

Favs: Berry Strong & Sweet Spin.

Weight: 155.5 lb. I gave the lemonade to my husband, I hate lemonade, I know I'm
the only American who does. I love lemon on lots of things just
not in my drinks usually. I will give another weigh in on Day 6
for a final result and I plan on using this as a starting point for low
calorie meal planning. I also need to slowly introduce some foods
back in so Day 6 won't include any meat, just veggies and a few
other things.

Results

Day 6 and I've weighed in at 153.5 lbs, so i've lost about 5 pounds. I do wonder if I could have lost more if I would not have drank Lipton with all the salt. But indulging in something salty like that helped me keep to the 5 days so I don't regret it. Now I'm slowly adding food back in and doing a few smoothies. Don't want to shock my system. I plan to keep under 900 calories a day for a while. This strawberry bruschetta with goat cheese on toast is only 297 calories by my calculations. https://www.judgenutrition.com/recipes/strawberry-bruschetta

I have a pinterest board where I am pinning recipes under 300 calories Pinterest Board as well as a separate instagram that i occasionally use for health and food Instagram.

Here is my 40% off link again if you need it. You get 40% off, I get 1000 points and it takes 750 points to get a $10 reward. I have no idea if they are stackable so I'm not sure how beneficial it will be for me in the future, but, in that nature of transparency I thought I'd share.

Pets & Kids: This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!

2019-01-20T19:43:00.000-08:00

He's cute isn't he? He's so adorable it makes you want to scream into a pillow. It get's better.

He's only 3 lbs at 2 year old's.

His name is Dobby. I got him from a gal who was leaving for college and couldn't take him with.

He's spoiled, can you tell?

Dobby is in love.

With our resident bunny whisperer. However.....

THEY DESTROY MY HOUSE! Ugh.

At some point in life I gave up on having anything white, furniture with right angles, and laundry pods.

Or open boxes of cereal....

You see that? That was a off white chair. No longer have it. No joke, my husband was holding a wine glass and it just exploded. The cosmos just freaked out and said: "Shit! There's a mom with semi-white furniture. Quick! It must be stained!"

So you get it. Mom's, be it of pets or human spawn, we can't have Instagram houses, k? Yet that's all you see on Instagram and Facebook. Theses posh living rooms and bedrooms with white faux fur rugs, cream colored rugs, and right angles everywhere!

Just yesterday my poor bunny had a stomach episode. If you know anything about bunny's it's that they had hard solid little pellets of shit. If you didn't know, they can be litter box trained, and mine is. Not that he doesn't leave little "presents" now and then.

Ok, so these two forces collided yesterday morning as he proceeded to a have a soft "present" next to my computer chair. As always Clyde was close to Bonnie as she was sitting in that computer chair and proceeded to roll around smearing it across my carpet. She tells my husband, but tells him she's got it and it's cleaned up. Who believes an 8 year old when they say that?!

Anyways, I keep a spot rug cleaner on hand and hand shampooed a good portion of the living room. I mean why clean up one spot when you can just keep going. But as irritating as that is I can't get over all these nice living rooms of these people with pets, that you know are having accidents. Case and point: I recently bought what looked like and amazing cream rug on Instagram from this really really nice neighborhood. It wasn't until I got it home and started shampooing it that all the pet stains came up and it reeked. Luckily I got a refund but these people had this in their home, and it was a nice home. To me it just proved that so many people are taking these photos at just the right angle and lots of editing. I know it's their job I just have to remind myself not to aspire to a certain lifestyle.

How can you not give into that little ball of adorable....and the kid, lol.

Flower Dolls: Hair Tips & Tricks

2019-01-18T16:02:00.003-08:00

The one thing I love the most about making flower dolls is doing their hair. Doing my own hair has always been a struggle, it won't hold a curl, and I'm to impatient to grow it out again. However, working with flower dolls I've found I can express my hair stylist dreams, ha ha. There are plenty of YouTubers, Emily Lefler comes to mind, that demonstrate how to curl embroidery floss. I've found you can obtain a variation of curls simply by wrapping the floss around different sized dowels and even wire.

Some curls are too large to stand on their own, like victory curls or rolled curls, and I've found that clear plastic tubes can come in handy. Depending on the size of curls you are looking to obtain, clear straws work well or the clear tubes that protect paint brushes when you first buy them. So I am always saving things like that because I never know when I might use it.

Most of the people I've seen making flower dolls use hot glue for the hair, which is my main glue. In some cases I've found Crafter's Pick to be a better option for more detailed work, like securing the ends of braids or when I wrap Maleficent's head piece. It gives me more time to work with a piece and it dries clear, so I always have it in stock. You want to make sure you really close your bottle good though, it can dry out easily if you're not careful. I also like to use a paint brush to apply or disposable applicators which come in a variety of sizes but I like the blue 2.5 mm ones.

To get very kinky hair I wrap embroidery floss around my 22 gauge white cloth floral wire. I get mine at Hobby Lobby in the floral section but you can find it on here. The nice thing about using the wire is that 1. I can bend it in half to fit in my toaster oven and 2. I will eventually use it to make a doll. So I wrap my floss around the wire and then run them under water and place them on a pan in the oven at 175° Fahrenheit for 60 mins. Once they've cooled I unwrap them from the wire and I have curly kinky hair.

You can also change the look of your curls by how many strands your wrap at a time. So when I say strand I mean 1 piece of embroidery floss, not the individual strands that make it up. So I cut my skein down to equal lengths that are more manageable and wrap 3 to 4 strands side by side, this is on a small dowel by the way. You can use craft dowels from Walmart, the Dollar Tree, even bamboo skewers. Anyways, if I wrap a single strand at a time it is too tight of a curl in my opinion but may look closer to a natural curl. On the flip side 3 to 4 strand wrapped curls look more like what you would get if you were curling your hair with a curling iron. I use 1/4 inch dowels and 1/8 inch dowels but I like to use my coupons at Hobby Lobby or get them at the Dollar Tree. Again, bamboo skewers are good too just make sure to cut the ends off so you don't scratch yourself when you're wrapping them.

If you have any concerns about your dowels getting too hot in the oven you can soak them in water first. I always run water over all of mine when i'm finished wrapping them with the embroidery floss. Even if you soak the floss and dowel and hour is more than enough for them to get dry in the oven and set. Everything I've recommended is linked, in the post above, and I don't recommend anything I don't actually use. I highly suggest using coupons when you can and I'm a big fan of the clearance isle. I'll do my best to answer any questions you have. Thanks!

I currently have a fb page called Edmund Designs where you can follow all of my creation:

Edmund Designs Facebook Page

I've joined Instagram: edmundesigns

I also have an Etsy page where you can purchase my creations or contact me for a personal order:

Edmund Designs Etsy Shop

This post contains affiliate links.

DIY Storage Bed

2018-03-23T16:19:00.001-07:00

It's actually been over a year since I built this bed for my 7 year old but it's held up beautifully. I initially built the bed with the intention of my grandmother moving in with us and sharing a room with our daughter. Sadly, we were unable to make that happen. In the mean time, though, my daughter has gotten a lot of use out of this very practical bed and its a great space saver for any room!

I already had a Closet Maid 6 cube organizer so I only had to purchase 1 more along with (2) 8 cube organizers to accommodate a twin sized mattress. I was also fortunate to be able to sell her prior bed frame, Ikea cube organizer, and other items. So I highly recommend selling what you can from the room during your revamp to help pay for your project. It allowed me to spend very little out of pocket.

The 4 cube organizers are not perfectly lined up, as you can see above. This is because a 8 cube organizer on each end is too wide, but the 6 cube organizer is too small. So since mine would be against a wall I off set my 8 cube organizer by 4-6 inches and made sure that the part of the bed that would be showing was flush.

An advantage to this bed is that you don't just get the cube storage but under the bed storage. This bed allows me to store her baby items, her small 4 ft Christmas tree, artwork, baby blankets, etc.

Another plus is that long board games can also fit! Closet Maid only gives you 3 cube backings so some of your cubes are open in the back. This allows us to store longer board games.

Okay, back to the construction. I made sure to connect the cube storage at each corner. You'll want to pre-drill your holes because these split very easily.

I covered the bed opening with a 1/8" hardboard but depending on your child's age, weight, etc., you may want to use plywood.

I then fit each cabinet with 1" x 1" brackets from Walmart, using foam mounting tape from the Dollar Tree, which fit perfectly. You can click the links to see exactly what i'm talking about at each store.

Or you can use the included hard wear and screw them in but I wanted to be able to sell the cubes down the road so I didn't want to make the brackets permanent.

I used my tape measure to center them and then recessed them about an inch into the cabinet.

Again the backless cubes are great for games and books that are too long for the typical cube size.

Next I cut 1/8" hardboard (the same board they make pegboards out of) into 11" squares. I actually had Sutherlands cut the sheet into strips so they would fit into my vehicle better, then I cut them to size using a utility knife. I secured a 3/8" screwhole plug in the center of each square with wood glue. Once dry I primed and painted half of the doors purple and the other half blue using spray paint.

Once the doors were dry I attached round magnets using E6000. I was using very thin magnets that I found at Walmart (shown here), however, I found that they were too thin and I need to replace the magnets with a standard size round craft magnet.

And that's it! I found it was a much cheaper way to make a storage bed with doors like this rather than doing hinges.

For storage bins I went to the Dollar Tree and they have these 9x9x8" bins that fit perfectly. You standard Closet Maid bins will not longer fit since we recessed our 1" corner brackets.

To get into the bed I found this tall foot stool at TJ Maxx but she doesn't even use it anymore and just climbs in.

I decorated the wall with some cheap items I found in the clearance isles at TJ Maxx and Target.

Then we invested in and Ikea desk which is much cheaper in store if you can get to one. The stool is an Ikea NILSERIK which I tried in store and absolutely love.

For her closet I found sheer material at Walmart and made a curtain that matched the wall.

For her windows I went with these cut to size paper type blinds for only $9 each.

And that completes the look! Like I said, I did this project over a year ago and this is a current picture, so it has held up really well! It holds her books, board games, toys, etc. It has really left her room mess free and she loves it.

* This post is not sponsored and I paid for all the materials myself. All Amazon links are affiliate links which means if you use the link to purchase that item I will get a small percentage from Amazon through their affiliate program.

Play Kids Explorer Box Review

2018-02-16T17:48:00.001-08:00

UPDATE: While scrolling through my facebook feed I saw a link for PlayKids Explorer with a 15% discount (box only, not shipping) so can click here. I do not get any compensation from this. I have no idea how long it will last.

I'm always look for activities for me and my daughter to do, and she loves science, so when this popped up as an ad on my Facebook feed I couldn't resist. PlayKids Explorer is a STEM based subscription box for ages 1-10 (although I can't see a kids under 4 getting much out of it). Each box is created by child education specialist and curated to each age group. This box is for a 7 year old and costs $15.95 a month plus $6.00 in shipping, which I paid for myself. There a unfortunately no coupon codes, even though they have a place to enter them, and there is no referral program.

Your first box includes a cardboard brief case, and activity book, a DIY paper craft, a passport and stickers (first kit only), "The Super Guide for New Explorers," (first kit only), magic cards with quiz cards & one coloring access card, a personalized book, and access to their app.

First up, my daughter really likes the brief case and she can use some of this stickers to decorate it.

The beginners guide doesn't really tell you any vital information. It simply tells you how the company got started and I learned more from looking through the material myself.

The passport is beyond cute! Make sure to keep track of it because you only get one. I would really like to see on future boxes the option to order another one in case we ever loose this one. Each adventure has its own stamp you place in the passport and then on the next page (not pictured) you can draw what you liked best about the adventure. The extra stickers are great for the brief case or to help illustrate their drawing.

The activity book is really great! Your first activity will be the DIY paper craft, so it took me a while to find the instructions. Its very hands on and this isn't a subscription box you can just hand to your kid and expect them to do it all themselves.

My daughter loved the DIY paper craft but she needed a lot of help. Remind your little ones to hold pieces at the base next to the tab. My daughter had a habit of holding them at the top and pressing down which caused the little tabs to bend. The base and water piece will require an adult to assemble. My daughter also said she would have liked a few fish to pop out and play with in the little reef, and their was plenty of room left on the paper that they could have done that.

The DIY paper craft is cute but I have a few tips to make your life easier. To attach the top and base you'll want to use your finger to press down right next to the number slot you are sticking the side piece to (as pictured below). Its a very tight squeeze because you already have one tab in that slot when you assembled the base. Also, not everything is number, particularly the island and the very top of the water.

The magic cards are really neat and require the use of the their free app which is available on android and itunes. Once the PlayKids app is installed it will ask you for your email/username and password. Your password is a code they send you when you first subscribe to the box so make sure you hold on to the code. The code will also be your password to log in to their website to view your subscription information.

Half of the cards you receive will be magic cards while the other half will be quiz cards with 3 difficulty levels.

To use your magic cards you will log into the PlayKids app and click on the Explorer image (pictured above). The app will access your camera which you hold over each card.

The images are pretty cool and the app downloads each card so your kids do not require internet access when they are out of the house. However, that can eat up a lot of your storage space.

It took a little playing around to find out that the images, once they've come to life, can be displayed anywhere.

We were even able to make it appear as if my daughter was holding the jelly fish!

You will also receive one coloring card which unlocks coloring pages specific to this adventure. Kids can color other pages prior to receiving the box but this card unlocks pages previously unseen by your child.

The last, and my favorite, thing you will receive is a custom book for your child. You get to create your child's avatar when you sign up and put in their name. Their custom avatar appears throughout the book and each new box you receive will be your child in a new adventure. The only issue is that if you have more than one child you can not feature multiple children in the same book. For me that's not an issue but I can see why it would be really nice for families with multiple children.

Overall it was a great experience and I believe we will be getting more in the future. Although they said it would take up to 30 days to arrive after purchasing, it only took 10! I was shocked to see it in the mail. There are so many activities and I believe it is well worth the price. I also video taped her reaction and you can view it here.

My New Craft Station/Office

2018-02-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

Over the course of about week, I constructed my new craft station/office. I have been wanting a new place to craft where I had access to everything and I didn't have to constantly fight to keep clean.

WARNING: CUTENESS OVERLOAD!

My free-range rabbit is cute but trying to do clay and keep it clean with any animal in the house is a pain. So I had to use a screen and constantly clean.

You can also see it was a pretty small area and my IKEA laptop desk was just too small.

So I set to find a large affordable desk I could work on but honestly a lot of them were either not deep enough, too expensive, or impractical for my purposes. So I build this beauty for under $50!

I used this tutorial from Instructables, but I made some major tweaks. First off I already had enough straight PVC pipe which was a major cost saver. The Instructable uses a hallow door which would have given me good depth but too much width at 8 ft long. So instead I chose to use plywood cut to 2 ft x 5 ft. The entire sheet of plywood was $20 but that allowed me enough plywood to double layer it for my desk, make shelves for a printer cart, and I still have enough plywood for a Lego tray for my daughter. So I only used about $13 worth of plywood. I attached 1" x 2 " boards around the edge of my table so that I could secure the 1" x 4" pieces around the edge without screws showing. The second layer of plywood hides the screws I used to attach my 1" x 2" boards and is secured with wood glue and 1/2" screws. I sanded the entire piece and applied Antique White stain and 2 coats of polyurethane. The PVC pipe is painted with Folk Art Metallic in Gun Metal.

My Peg board is something I already had but I wanted to update it a little so I used Martha Stewart Chalkboard Paint in Gray and then finished the board with some white trim. I did a little sign but it was so late at night, plus I had already taken my sleeping pills, that I spelled Designs wrong, ha ha! So I will be redoing it.

The printer cart was my final project because I desperately needed somewhere to store my shipping supplies. I looked everywhere but most carts were going to cost me at least $30 and more. So I bought some 2" x 2" boards for my 4 legs, used plywood for my shelves, and reinforced each shelf with 1" x 2" boards I already had. The 4 casters cost me $5 at Sutherlands and the 2" x 2" boards cost me $5 so I ended up only spending $10 on the cart. The top and bottom of the cart are secured with 2" screws and the middle shelf is supported by 2" corner brackets. Nothing fancy just functional.

SEE THE FULL TOUR BELOW!

Thanks for Stopping By!

The Flu: A Sure Sign You Don't Love Jesus

2017-08-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

Before you start commenting just bear with me, as I understand how ludicrous the title is, but that's the point. Can you imagine walking up to a friend and telling them you have the flu only for them to respond: "Well, the flu is usually a sign that you are not right in your walk with God." I personally know that when you walk into Church with a cold most people comfort you and instead say something like: "Oh, I had that last week! I hear it's going around. I hope you feel better." Yet mental illness, of any kind, is considered a reflection of the individual.

The idea that mental illness is a purely spiritual affliction is one that dates back to Biblical times and is carried on into modern times. Mental illness and epilepsy were often seen as demonic possession or a punishment from God in the early Church and Middle Ages.[1] Thus, as God’s living representatives on earth, the Church saw fit to punish those afflicted by mental illness. Martin Luther argues that suicidal, “persons do not die by free choice or by law…they do not wish to kill themselves but are overcome by the power of the devil…Magistrates should treat them quite strictly.”[2] Those who gave into melancholy, or depression, by ending their life were severely punished after death to set an example to others. The deceased victim’s body was often drug through the street, dismembered, and refused a Christian burial. The suicide victims’ family was then refused their property and it was acquired by the Church or local magistrates. This made suicide a lucrative and powerful tool for the Church to use to enrich itself and condemn other sects of Christianity. Catholics, Calvinists, Lutherans, and Anglicans all used suicide as evidence of the false teaching of one another in the hopes of dissuading would be converts.[3]

It was not until the Enlightenment that mental illness was viewed as a medical illness instead of a spiritual illness. The works that bridged the Middle Ages and the Enlightenment often straddled the world of religion and science. Clergyman Robert Burton gives the causes of melancholy, in 1621, as either supernatural or natural, both of which could be divided further. Spiritual causes included: from God, the devil, evil spirits, or by witches. While natural causes could be old age, heredity, imprisonment, poverty, a blow to the head, overheating, and even too much garlic and onions.[4] Burton is a good example of how little the Church has changed when discussing mental illness. On the one hand, they discuss the medical and scientific reasons, as if not wanting to appear backwards and medieval. On the other hand, they make sure that spiritual reasons are listed first and foremost so as not to be seen as betraying their faith.

These historical examples demonstrate how far we’ve come in our medical understanding. The Church, and society, no longer punish and condemn epileptics, the autistic, or handicap, so why are the mentally ill still seen as “less than Christian,” or punished by God? We no longer strip women naked and look for moles and skin tags as a sign of where the devil has suckled. We know their causes and consider them natural, although sometimes bothersome, parts of life. Yet the Church often sees fit to say with certainty that mental illness is a spiritual affliction without researching the medical causes. How long will this generation have to wait for the Church to recognize mental illness as a legitimate illness? Because next time my mental illness is seen as reason enough to call into question my relationship with God you can be dang sure that person better not sneeze.

[1] Aristidis Diamantis, et al., “Epilepsy During the Middle Ages, the Renaissance and the Enlightenment,” J Neurol 275, no. 5 (May 2010): 692-694, accessed August 25, 2017, http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s00415-009-5433-7. See also Georges Minois, History of Suicide: Voluntary Death in Western Culture, Trans. Lydia G. Cochrane, (The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1999), for an excellent breakdown of early Church history and mental illness.

[2] Martin Luther, Table Talk entries DLXXXIX, DCCXXXVIII, in The Table Talk or Familiar Discourse of Martin Luther, tr. William Hazlitt, London: David Bogue, 1848, pp. 254, 303; entry 222 (April 7, 1532), in Luther’s Works, American Edition, vol. 54. Ed. and trans. Theodore G. Tappert, Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1967, p. 29. https://ethicsofsuicide.lib.utah.edu/selections/martin-luther/.

[3] Minois, History of Suicide: Voluntary Death in Western Culture, 68-69, 73, 113.

[4] Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy, (Philadelphia: E. Claxton & Company, 1883): 81-84. https://archive.org/details/anatomyofmelanch00burt.

We Lived on Less Than $8,000 a Year...

2017-03-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

We Lived on Less Than $8,000 a Year...

Is it possible to live on less than $8,000 dollars a year? No. No one would expect you to live on that type of wage let alone a family of three, but we did. We actually lived on that wage for over four years and here is what that looks like:

The year was 2012 and my husband worked at Burger King for $7.35 an hour. Now quick math would tell you that is $14,112 dollars a year, still below the poverty line, if he received 40 hours a week. However, Burger King at the time cut hours because after a certain amount of weekly hours they had to offer employees heath care. I can't tell you if it was the general managers decision or the companies decision but that meant nothing over about 32 hours. My husband couldn't even get that because we live in a college town and job openings just weren't there. I even had to double check W-2's because even I'm shocked by the number today, but he only made $7,506 that year. So here are some numbers for you:

Our 2012 Income: $7,506
- $5,400 (Rent $450 month utilities included)

Already we're down to $2,106 for food, health insurance, medical expenses, medicine, laundry (because we did not have a washer and dryer), gas, car insurance, and the list goes on. So let's talk bottom dollar estimates.

$2,106
-$240 (laundry at $5 week).
-$2,400 ($50 week for food for 3 people).
-$480 ($40 month for car insurance).
-$1,040 ($20 a week on gas - think of someone who drives 30 mins to work!)
-$4,320 (Health insurance at $120 a month per person which covers zilch).

Now we're at -$6,374 which would have been almost as much income as we had coming in and that is with the lowest estimates possible. So what did we do? We got help from the state. We went on food stamps and our daughter had state health insurance, we were not eligible so we went without health insurance for over 4 years. For several years I did our laundry in the tub because our water was included in the rent and then I hung them to dry in the shower.

I also went to college and so did my husband but it didn't help in the way you might think. We were eligible for federal loans which also includes a student refund to pay for your housing, books, etc. So my student refunds covered our rent while his covered things like car insurance, doctors visits etc. Had I not been going to school full time I would have been required to have a job which would have put us over the eligibility line for benefits, even with child care expenses and I would have only made around $4.35 an hour. So we were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

While my husband got his B.S. in Physics, no one was hiring for that degree and he continued to work at Burger King until a local plant began hiring a few years ago. Getting that degree vastly undercut the amount of hours he worked when he was allowed to work them. When he finally got the degree it didn't help. The argument that a person is in their position in life because they didn't work hard enough, lack an education, or are bad with money is an insult to those who struggle because the good jobs aren't available, they can't afford childcare, they couldn't afford the healthcare to buy the birth control to prevent the children, or the companies who hire them are allowed to keep them below 30 hours to prevent them from receiving benefits.

We didn't live a life of luxury on food stamps, and the majority of people do not. Yes, there are people who abuse the system but they are not the norm and should not dictate how the rest are treated. I pawned my engagement ring, a ring given to me by my mother, any valuable I could get a hold of to buy diapers, clothes, medicine, etc. When it was time for me to get my IUD I could not afford the $250 because I did not have health insurance and I was very lucky that my grandmother paid for it. No amount of hard work changed our circumstances, an we were very lucky that a job opened up and that my husband got it. So its very disappointing when I hear people equate poverty with laziness and a mismanagement of money because that was me.

Moms Should Be Better Friends

2016-08-28T12:24:00.002-07:00

Moms Should Be Better Friends

I can't bring myself to accept the notion that mother's make terrible friends or that its okay to be a bad friend because you are a mother. It seems to be a change that everyone expects, and adheres to, that once you have children you forgo having children. Yet the men continue to have social lives and why wouldn't they if they have a free and willing babysitter already at home? Most men don't ask permission to continue having friends my husband certainly didn't. After our daughter was born my husband continued to be on a bowling league, go and watch the basketball games, attend movies, hang out with friends, etc. I'm not going to lie, I really resented him for it. I felt stuck with our daughter and really wanted social experiences as well. I mainly got those occasions when our daughter was with my parents for a weekend but I learned to start taking her with me to meet up with friends. It could be very trying and stressful sometimes but I made the effort.

I can happily say that nowadays my husband and I have a much better balance of responsibility and he takes our daughter out for movie and dinner dates on the weekend. During the week if I want to go out without her I have to hire a sitter but I happily welcome it. Ideally I prefer to have another mom over so we can visit and the kids can play but I've found that other mothers flake on me and I'm the one who always has to extend the invitation. People without children value me more as a friend and they show that through their words, actions, and communication. They are happy to see me, invite to things, and make time for me.

When you have children and push your friends to the side you are telling them they are no longer of value to you. If I get pushed to the side until your children are school age then we weren't really friends. Ask me to help watch the kids, go to the park, help with the house, start an organizing project, or sit and gossip during nap time. Don't sideline me and expect me to come around when you decide I'm worth your time 3-5 years later. Having had kids myself I will not understand because my child is not the center of my universe. I desire and deserve friends and time to myself. I can have exactly what my husband enjoys which is an active social life.

Some women will say they are too busy and all I have to say is that you prioritize what you value. If you want to raise children, have a family, but no social life then do that but don't expect your friends to come running back because now you have the time. It's not fair to them and frankly its not fair to you to deprive yourself. Take turns going out with your spouse or pick one night a month where you both go out and hire a sitter. There is always a way to make things happen when you really want something. Start a sitting circle with your mom friends so that you each can go out one night a week or once a month. One night you watch her kids and the other she watches yours so you don't have to pay anyone but both get to enjoy your other friends. It's always possible. So let's start being better friends ladies.

Flower Fairy Dolls

2016-07-16T16:49:00.001-07:00

My latest craft obsession has been these cute little flower fairy dolls. They are only made from wire, embroidery floss, wooden heads, and faux flowers. I happened upon them last week and already this week I've made over 12 dolls and have learned I might have a knack for it. Although I do custom order for dolls to look like peoples children, my favorites have been my fantasy dolls based on fictional characters. I learned the basics from YouTube tutorials by Emily Lefler from the Untidy Artist but all fictional characters are my original creations. You can check out Emily's tutorials here: Untidy Artist YouTube Channel

Mermaid (my first doll)

Joy from Inside Out (doll for my daughter's friend)

Brunette Fairy Doll w/ Blue Skirt

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride Emily and Groom

Tinkerbell Inspired Doll

Dark Complexion w/ Purple Dress

Princess Zelda from Twilight Princess

Maleficent (2014 version)

Maleficent was one of my bigger hurdles because I had to figure out how to get the horns just right, attach them securely, and then wrap the entire head. I can't tell if i'm more proud of Zelda or Maleficent but I can't wait to decide what to do next.

I currently have a fb page called Edmund Designs where you can follow all of my creation:

Edmund Designs Facebook Page

I also have an Etsy page where you can purchase my creations or contact me for a personal order:

Edmund Designs Etsy Shop

Power Green Smoothie Recipe

2016-01-09T17:07:00.001-08:00

This is a very simple recipe to make enough smoothies for 3-6 days, depending on how much you like to drink. I make mine in 48oz batches and store them in 16oz glass bottles, that I recycle after drinking kombucha.

Before I do anything, I wash all of my greens, even when they say triple washed.

Recipe

8oz spinach

6oz power greens (pictured below)/kale

2 green apples, cores removed

Juice of 1 lemon

Chlorella powder (1/2 tsp per smoothie but can increase)

Water (among depends on how thick you like your smoothie, I use 8oz)

I just add the ingredients in small bunches, blend, and then add more until it's all in. Pretty easy! I use a funnel to put my funnels in 16oz glass bottles, and then grab them when I'm ready for them. Sometimes I split one between me and my husband, sometimes I drink a whole one myself.

Green smoothies are a great way to get your greens in! I don't like fruit smoothies, because blending fruit makes the sugar hit your liver faster. This can make your liver produce more fat cells, but fiber slows this process. So it's important to eat your fruit whole, but I do like the added bite the green apple gives this smoothie. So if you are having trouble losing weight, then don't blend your fruit and stay far away from fruit juice!

Follow me on Instagram @ebcangel

Consent is Sexy

2015-11-17T19:18:00.001-08:00

When I was growing up consent wasn't something anyone was really talking about. Our mantra was "No Means No!" but that did little for those of us who inexplicably lost our voices at the worst time. This left those of us who had faced sexual assault or rape feeling like we were in the wrong for having said nothing. All we had to do was say no, right?

Then "Only Yes Means Yes" came on the scene, long after I was married, and I thought: "Wow, I wish this had been around when I was younger!". Its amazing how powerful words can be! But then the strict consent movement came along, and like a lot of people, I wondered what would that look like? What would it have been like when I was dating? Were we talking long forms and a signature before every sexual encounter? Every kiss? People have been consenting sexual partners for millenniums without all of this right?

Well yes and no. For every consenting individual there are plenty that were simply silent, which is really the aim of the campaign. I was one of those individuals, and my first sexual assault occurred when I was 12. I was too scared to say no, and had I been asked I would have said no. When I'm asked, and I have been asked, I feel like the other person respects my decision. But another debate has emerged within the larger debate regarding whether consent is necessary: Is consent sexy, and should it be sold that way? In other words does saying that "consent is sexy" undermine the fact that it is necessary?

I firmly believe that consent can be sold this way, because whether it is legal or not matter little to high school or college kids. Underage drinking is illegal but that rarely stops anyone! Legality is hardly the issue. Consent sounds corny and it needs a new PR campaign, badly! So I will tell you the story of the time a man asked for my permission, how I reacted, and whether it was really sexy or not.

I was 20 when I met him and I had just come to visit him and my friend in college, for a concert. We spent the whole day together, the majority of it in the apartment he shared with a friend. All we did was watch movies and cuddle and I thought surely he's going to kiss me. Then he gave me a back rub, the go to move of guys everywhere, and I swore he would make a move. He didn't. Then it was time for bed and we just laid there talking. Before we even hit the hay he asked me if it was ok to take his shirt off, he didn't want to make me uncomfortable. He decided to leave it on anyways.

So there we were, just talking until early in the morning, and then he asked me: "Would it be ok if I kissed you?" No one had every asked me that! Every guy had just kind of lunged at me, and it was always awkward, bad aim, very quick as if they thought if they didn't do it quick enough I'd stop them. I was taken back by the request and so happy he had finally said something! Of course I happily said yes and it was the sweetest, most romantic thing that had every happened, up until that point! I mean a like an aggressive guy just as much as the next girl, but there's a time and a place.

Then about a month later we were fooling around, one thing led to another, and BAM we were having sex, ha ha. I figured he understood that I was totally into it, I just didn't want to say: "lets have sex." I felt awkward about the whole thing. Then in the middle of it he just stops. Gets really weird and excuses himself. I took me a good day to figure out what was going on: he stopped because he wasn't sure its what I wanted. Keep in mind I was, and am, a Christian and had professed that I wanted to wait. (We're all human!) So in his mind I was doing something that I didn't believe in and had possibly been pressured in to. When I found out that was what had happened I was relieved and it was really sweet. Sure when we were in the middle of it, it was confusing, and we both should have been upfront from the very beginning. But the way he handled it, when he thought it wasn't what I wanted, was really cool.

I am married to that man and have been for 6 1/2 years. We have an amazing sex life that is based on good communication. I'm very honest about what I want and like, and I speak up when I don't like something. As a sexual assault and rape victim its very important for me to speak up when I'm triggered, and my husband is a very understanding man. I've taught him how to be aggressive, ha ha, with a good use of safe words and boundaries, because he's still the man that worries about pushing my boundaries. After being pressured into so many things before I was ready, or that were contrary to my character, its very freeing to be with someone who does not want me to do anything I don't want to do. When a woman feels safe she's more likely to sexual express herself, and if she's having a good time you will too! So yes consent is sexy!

Tinker Crate Review and 50% off Coupon Code

2015-10-14T14:54:00.001-07:00

This was our first month of Tinker Crate and I was very excited to see how much my daughter would enjoy it. Tinker Crate is a monthly subscription box, geared toward children ages 9-14, that focuses on the sciences. My daughter is only 5 1/2 but I felt that many of the crafts offered through Kiwi Crate, their box for children ages 4-8, contained experiments I could easily recreate at home. Tinker Crate offers projects that would expensive if I had to buy all of the individual parts or kits. I do not expect my daughter to understand all of the concepts, but she has a higher interest in engineering projects than most kids her age. The box is $19.95 a month with free shipping. There is a link down below for $10 off your first box. Now for the box.

Included is a booklet which explains the smaller concepts of your project. This box had projects to explain current, resistors, capacitor, and diodes. We went straight for the main project and I will have my husband go over this information with our daughter later. He has a background in Physics and is amazing at explaining scientific concepts to her.

They also had a little background on Edison and Tesla. We will have to simplify some of the language but that shouldn't be a big issue.

The instruction are easy to follow for parents. Children will need help or oversight if they are in the younger age bracket. I found that the light bulb wire bent when inserting them into the cardboard near the end of the project. So some children will need help in some areas of the project.

In this project they continually had us checking the lights to make sure we had everything just right. It was really helpful to be reminded, otherwise we would have gotten through the project with a non-functioning light. My daughter was very excited when it lit up and started to put some of the simpler concepts together. She was more interested, however, as to how the motor worked, so we will be finding another project or watching a video to better understand motors.

This flash light has two led bulbs and came with replacements when they burn out, which will be helpful later on.

The only issue we had with constructions was attaching the motor. As you can see on the right side, its attached by flimsy brackets which can make using the hand crank difficult as it wobbles back and forth. I will attempt to find some small flat screws to attach the motor so it does not move. Its too difficult for my daughter to turn the handle while pulling away from the box, which is a result of the lose brackets.

Overall I am very pleased and will continue this subscription for the time being. I'm still tempted to try Kiwi Crate so we may try that for a month or two as well.

$10 off your first box

Being Yourself: A Tale of Many Haircuts

2015-08-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

(November 2014)

It was 1996 and Geena Davis played a woman named Samantha, who was really a spy named Charly, in The Long Kiss Goodnight. It was one of my favorite movie scenes of all time when Geena Davis makes herself over in a hotel bathroom, cutting of her long permed mom hair into a short crop and bleaching it blonde. She ditches the mom wardrobe for a patched up leather jacket and sports thick black kohl eyeliner. It was awesome! I always wanted one of those moments my whole life but alas my experimentation was typically less epic.

I had short hair a lot throughout elementary and early high school. I always wanted to experiment with my hair, and even my clothes, but more often than not it could be met with serious backlash at school. My freshman year of high school I cut my hair really short, before pixie's were cute. The first day I sported it at school I was called a dyke which continued for a considerable amount of time. When I told my father, he told me "If you don't want to be called a dyke, don't look like a dyke". I've found that most people don't like change and my father opposed my mother cutting her hair as well, so it wasn't just me. People in general are uncomfortable with people who look and act differently than they do. Not because they don't like them but because its new and foreign. They don't know how to act and sometimes the first reaction you'll get is a bad one. Not because they are bad people, just because they are human.

So I quickly learned that being myself would come with ridicule which was something I couldn't handle. I did my best to be someone that wouldn't attract negative attention but I couldn't change what God gave me, and I didn't want to. Clothes were a different story and I never really got it right. One year I got this beautiful turquoise full length cotton skirt from C.J. Banks to wear for special occasions. I loved that thing and felt really pretty in it. That was until one of my friends in school told me, and everyone else, that I looked like Laura Ingalls Wilder. I don't, and can't blame her for any of my insecurities. I'd rather go back to tell my younger self that: Its the people who build you up that will remain in your life, keep them close, and share the love.

(March 2015)

I struggled for many years, always wondering what people thought of me and how I looked and then... I stopped. It was a weird sensation and I didn't even notice until someone pointed it out to me. The biggest thing in my life that I can credit for that change is Al-Anon (a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics). I have learned how to focus on myself, my actions in this world, and not to worry about what everyone else is doing or thinking. I can only control what I do and the greatest gifts I have in this world are forgiveness and love. Which also means forgiving and loving myself for who I am. Once my focus shifted to me I no longer had time to worry about what people thought of me. I found a freedom like I've never known and I'm so happy that I did.

(August 2015)

Its odd to think how powerful something as simple as a haircut can be but I get great satisfaction from doing it myself. I always felt like people wanted to put me in this neat little box. As humans we compartmentalize and categorize which can be problematic when it comes to people. Like Heather Simmes put it: "It is hard to be yourself if others won't let you be yourself and it's important to do what you want. You only live one life, if you want to cut your hair short, do it, it grows back," (BoredWithBeauty, "Q&A With Heather Symmes," April 09, 2015). I feel that I'm finally in a place in my life that I can be myself and am surrounded by the kind of people that support that.

(August 2015)

I really wish I could get a better picture but I'm sure all of you ladies out there with dark hair know how hard it is to capture texture in a photo! It is amazing in person, ha ha. Inspiration wise I used Heather Symmes (@heathersymmes) and Holli B (@madamehols) and I actually use Holli's tutorial to style my hair: Holli's Tutorial, which will give you a better idea of how it looks in real life. I used their hair styles as guides, as my face shape and hair line are different so I went with what I felt comfortable with. It'll grow back if I decide I don't like it.

I finally got comfortable enough to wear falsies out in public but lipstick is still for the privacy of my own home! Funny what's easy for one person is difficult for another, and vice versa.

To My Ex- Best Friend on Her Wedding Day

2015-07-18T21:30:00.002-07:00

If there is one thing about my blog that I take the most pride in, its my brutal honesty. I was always one for transparency but blogging has brought me to a point of no shame where nothing seems to be off limits. I hope that my honesty is helpful. Whether it lets you know your not alone or shows you that there is someone out there a little weirder than you, I hope it helps. So with that being said I've decided to write on my touchiest subject, yes I do have one: my ex-best friend.

We haven't really spoken in almost 6 years and today was her wedding day. We stopped speaking in the middle of my pregnancy for reasons that are still somewhat unclear to me. I know part of it was that she believed she had to choose between me and her now husband. Somehow I made her feel that she had to make that decision and I don't know, maybe I did. It was awkward and him and I had very different personalities. I didn't know what to say to him more often than not and maybe he felt the same way. As it often happens if life, I was more concerned with myself and what was happening in my life. I felt like she was avoiding me so I stopped calling and intentionally missed her birthday. I was trying to hurt her. I felt hurt and abandoned but I acted like a child instead of being honest. When I eventually apologized it was more rambling than anything and I'm more than certain that it came of as insincere. There is a thing as too late.

For years I've had random dreams about her. Sometimes I'm apologizing to her and sometimes she is apologizing to me. Either way I wake up feeling hurt and sometimes angry. It makes it difficult to heal wounds when you still have friends who are still intimately involved with the person, but I tried my best. When I heard that she was getting married I cried a lot! I didn't expect to but I did. It was even more difficult when I heard that my best friend had been asked to be one of her bridesmaids. I immediately called my mother and cried like a little girl. So I did what everyone does these days and Googled it. I know I know but I had to see if anyone understood what I was feeling. Needless to say it was slim pickings and most of these broads were asking if the should attend the wedding uninvited! The thought had never even crossed my mind and I had no intention of ruining her day. I just wanted to know how to move forward and find peace. Google did not give me those answers. Time did not give me what I wanted because I lost a lifelong friend. Not a cheap fling or casual friend but a deep relationship, or at least that's how it felt to me.

I had someone who understood me when it seemed like no one else did. I was odd and quirky and she somehow mitigated that part of me. She harassed me endlessly about not looking people in the eyes when I spoke until I learned how, which is now my own pet peeve. We were terrible cooks together and ate half baked cookies but apart we baked just fine. She always had a confidence that I envied and was a far better piano player than me, but even with her confidence she had terrible stage fright. I loved the stage and had mediocre skills. She was intuitive and called me on my bullshit. She was a sister to me and could say and get away with things no one else could. But here I am on her wedding day, sitting here talking to all of you about what I've missed. She was my maid of honor and gave a funny, not so sentimental toast. That's the kind of person I am so it's weird that I would be the sentimental one now. But here is what I would say to her on this day.

Thank you. Thank you for being apart of my life even if it wasn't as long as I would have hoped. Thank you for introducing me to my husband, the love of my life. There is no greater gift you could have given me. You knew just what I needed, like always. He was everything I needed and could have hoped for, and you always knew when the other guys were total shit! I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you or what you needed but I'm so glad you found what you needed. You were always very strong and I know you'll get everything out of life that you've wanted. I wish I had spent more time getting to know the man you've married but if he has you sense of humor, adventurous spirit, and intellect, then the two of you will do great. I hope this day is everything you wanted it be and that the years that follow are the best of you life.

They're Sagging and Lopsided. What Else is New?

2015-06-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

I just love how every woman on the planet seems to be OK with lopsided, sagging, deflated tits. I'm calling bullshit. Your either lying, have had 20+ years to come to terms with it, or don't actually have a serious asymmetrical problem. I thought I understood what it meant to be lopsided and sagging at the age 17. Lefty-loosey over here was a little bigger than righty-tighty when Oprah showcased that detrimental idea of what classified a sagging breast. All the test required was placing a pencil under your tit and seeing if you could hold it. Can you? Well congratulations! According to whatever prepubescent man-child that thought up that idea, because only a man would want to know how many school supplies his body could hold, you need a breast lift. So at 17 I was convinced that I needed a breast lift because lefty-loosey could hold a No.2 pencil. Little did I know those perfect C-cups were just that, perfect.

Just 3 months into my pregnancy I had to say goodbye to those perfect C-cups, and just like the heart warming story of the Grinch, my chest also grew 3 sizes that day! The Grinch seemed pretty psyched about his enlargement, but that's a man for ya, and as you can imagine my husband was also pretty psyched that day. But let me tell you, it hurt like a mofo. I have never felt pain like that in my life and I didn't slip into an underwire for 2+ years. At the time my husband must have been wearing his boob goggles because all he could see were bigger breasts. You would have thought I paid to have this done! But the unfortunate truth is that the larger a woman gets naturally, and that quickly, its usually accompanied by stretch marks, sagging, drooping, and variations you never dreamed of. I mean who knew you nipples could just up and change sizes on you? Or that your areolas could go from nickle size to half dollars! Never mind that your other tit stayed the same, these bad boys hardly ever grow at the same rate. I suppose someone out there has said that your breasts should look like sisters, not twins. Well then my right tit is the sister who everyone believes was adopted and beat with the ugly stick. Instead of sisters they're more like Statler and Waldorf, the pair of old men who are critics from the Muppet Show! You know they belong together but they look nothing alike!

I tried Oprah's little pencil trick the other day and now its the right breast that's the victor. I'm practically a trapper keeper at 4-5 pencils, and I'm sure if I really tried I could throw in a folder and a protractor. My husband still won't admit there is a difference, perhaps for his own safety and well being. Men just don't get it mostly because they don't face a similar issue and trust me I've tried explaining:

Me: "What if you woke up one morning and your left ear was 2x the size of your right ear?"

DH: "I dunno that might be pretty cool."

Me: "Oh please you are so full of it."

DH: "Think about it, that's what I could be known for. The guy with the big ear."

Me: "Smart ass."

Of course my grandmother was quick to point out that I can hide my problem, an ear is a little different. And if you're wondering, yes men respond the same way if you use their balls as an analogy. They just don't care and view it more as an opportunity to get into Ripley's Believe it or Not!

So what's a girl to do? According to this lovely little article I found today at dirtytruthreviews my last option before getting surgery is to "massage the smaller breast only to increase its breast size." That's just a little ridiculous to me. Why would I want my smaller perkier tit to match the larger deflated one? If I want them to match I'll just take a rolling pin to my left tit and call it a day! More disheartening is the idea that I will just have to get use to having a semi-decent DD-cup on one side and a deflated, stretch mark scared DDD-cup on the other side. 5 years in and I'm still not happy, and if it took me 10 years to be happy with my perky C-cups. I can only imagine how long it will take to get use to Statler and Waldorf! But you won't see me in surgery anytime soon. At 5K or more, I'll be putting my money towards my education, cause with tits like these you've gotta have brains!

Lost 10 lbs on Keto, Now Onward to Zero Carb!

2015-06-04T14:16:00.003-07:00

I've been on the Keto Diet for almost 3 months now and lost 10 lbs in the first month. I kept track of everything that went into my mouth, and it was exhausting to say the least. I wanted very badly to eat whatever I liked but I couldn't kick the habit of counting macros along with calories. Eating however much I wanted didn't work for me, I had to use a keto calculator to determine how many grams of fat, protein, carbs, and fiber I should be getting within a set amount of calories. I worked very well at first but I was never able to get below a certain weight. Every once in a while I would dip a few more pounds only to find them back on a few days later, and I'm not one to fluctuate on the scale. So I continued to eat Keto because I enjoyed it and the few times I cheated, out of laziness not cravings, I felt terrible. However, I've experienced no further weight loss. Before you even say it I'll point it out, my BMI is perfect according to the CDC at 21.3. I am not overweight but that does not mean I feel my best, and no I'm not looking to be underweight.

For a little throwback Thursday, this is me at 17 at 118 pounds with a BMI of 17.9 which isn't even on the scale. I wasn't trying to be that thin and was not longer anorexic. The day I gained 10 lbs was the proudest of my life. But this girl ate junk. I loaded up on carbs galore, and being a picky eater, ate mostly potatoes, rice, pasta, and bread. I could go a whole week without touching meat and even my vegetables were starchy, my ultimate favorite being peas. So I understood that skinny didn't equal healthy and healthy doesn't equal skin and bones. I have no desire to be 118 pounds again for multiple reasons but mostly I like wearing adult clothes and have no desire to shop in the junior department ever again! But I am disappointed that I couldn't reach my goal of 137, my pre-baby weight. The more I thought about it the more I realized I had felt uncomfortable at 137 as well. A nice 10 lb gain after meeting my husband and too many margaritas. So I've concluded that 127 with a BMI of 19 (a normal BMI) would suit me just fine, if only to motivate me to go until I'm comfortable. So now begins the journey of zero carbs.

I have no intention of being zero carb and eating only meat, eggs, and dairy for the rest of my life. I enjoy almost every fruit and vegetable on the planet and would give up that part of my diet for the rest of my life. But a short period of time couldn't hurt. Today was the first day and I am not eating the amount of meat that everyone else does. Its too much! So I'm not sure if that will affect me but I can't imagine sitting down to a meal and eating 3 burgers in one sitting. I also have no intention of working my way up to that. I will say this though, I'm so glad I found Keto and am finally free of my carb cravings! Its great! So I don't see myself going through this short stint of ZC and falling off the wagon because I can't have bread or pasta. Once I'm where I'm happy I will slowly reintroduce fruits and veggies with a carb limit of 15 g where I was before. Maybe 30 g if I can handle it. But for now let the Zero Carb journey begin!

Tasty Shopping in Denver

2015-06-03T10:22:00.003-07:00

Last summer I had to opportunity to stop and stay a night in Denver, to and from Durango. So on our way back we stayed in the Capital Hill District . We were able to rent a very nice one bedroom apartment for $76 using airbnb. Check out the end of this post for my $25 off coupon for airbnb. Anyways, before we even started our trip I scouted out cool places to shop and eat. Since we were only staying one night, each time we passed through town, I wanted to make sure we did as much as we could. When I found The Truffle Cheese Shop I couldn't wait to go and both my husband and I are huge cheese fanatics.

The Truffle Cheese Shop

The Truffle Cheese Shop is located on E 6th Ave in Denver and we found a parking spot right away.

The selection was out of this world and I felt like I was back in Europe!

They had dried pastas, spreads, chocolates, sodas, and macaroons. Basically everything for a picnic!

Even the picnic basket to carry it all in. But our main objective was cheese.

And boy did they have plenty of it! More than I could ever hope to try but my husband had his share.

I can happily say that the money we saved on a hotel room was put to good delicious use.

And we took our bread, olives, cheese, and pepperoni back to the apartment for our evening cap. I'm happy to say we were able to transport our purchase back home with a cooler. It was a 10 hour trip and everything, with ice of course, fared very well.

Apothecary Tinctura

It just so happened that right next to The Truffle Cheese Shop was the Apothecary Tinctura. To say that I'm a tea enthusiast would be putting in lightly. So when I saw this place I had to check it out.

They had bath and body products, essential oils, diffusers, pre-made teas, all in a inviting atmosphere.

The big win for me was there awesome selection of loose herbs for tea making. I went overboard, to say the least, and next time I hit up a spot like this I'm bringing a list! The prices were very reasonable and I've made some excellent tea combinations since.

You can see on the counter I was already building a large stash.

So I came home a very happy girl and even found some Lavender Water to use as a facial toner or to add to my tea.

If you aren't already signed up for airbnb give it a go because it will save you a good amount of money. This is my link for $25 off when you sign up HERE. That's how I got our rental for $76 was by using another users link.

Why I Stopped Withholding Sex in My Marriage

2015-05-18T21:27:00.002-07:00

For a few weeks now my husband and I have been fighting on and off, sex was obviously off the table. Don't get me wrong it crossed my mind but this was no time for a celebration. So the other night when he suggested sex I thought he'd lost his mind. How ludicrous? How presumptuous of him to believe that I had forgiven him yet. "If I have sex with you you'll think everything is back to normal and nothing will change." I said. "No I promise it will, I'm trying and I haven't forgotten." he said. So I did something crazy... I gave in...TWICE! I know, I know, crazy me having sex with the man I married, but this is why I did and its shocking even me.

Before I said yes he went to freshen up, cocky little thing isn't he? ha ha, and I actually Googled "Should you sleep with your husband if your fighting". I was so worried I would send the wrong message and lose my ground but then I ran across this blog The Forgiven Wife and she really spelled it out for me. Granted, sexual refusal has been a two way street in this house, but I felt awful about what I was doing. So I gave in without having to be badgered and boy was I conflicted. Don't get me wrong the sex was mind blowing, but I felt like I was saying "You Win." Then I thought long and hard about something: Why would my husband believe he was forgiven or that he won an argument by me giving him sex? I paused to think and then BAM! My husband thinks that way because I put in place the system that reinforces those values. When things are going well I "reward" him and when they aren't I "punish"him.

Its an odd thing for women to do. We march through the streets admonishing men for treating us like pieces of meat but treat our own bodies like "treats" to be doled out and taken away when it suits us. When they behave badly we treat them like children who have broken the rules, so we take the toy and place it on a high shelf. Or worse we treat them like dogs who need training and swat them with newspapers for bad behavior and then give them rewards to reinforce the good behavior. Then we wonder why men are so angry about sex deprivation. I'm not saying it can't be the other way around, look around on my blog and you'll see I went through months of it myself. Which begs the question as to why I would do it knowing how it feels.

To be honest I set the tone and relied on what I had been taught by women around me, society, etc. I couldn't have imagined that you could have sex without losing control and its a feeling I'll have to continue to fight until this becomes the new norm. Its a hard mentality to break and I can imagine that my husband will also have to come around to the idea of sex when things are off kilter between us. Although I can't imagine it will take him very long. The sad part is is that I was punishing myself as well. I, like many women, can forget how amazing sex is. I get busy with research, the little one, or I get in the mindset that its just too much work. Though I have to confess that my husband already knows a few chic flicks that will get him action and he still refuses to watch them, ha ha.

Like everyone else I'll have to take it one day at a time and ask myself the next time I want to withhold sex, why that is? If its simply to prove a point or assert control then its simply not something I want to be doing anymore.

Arm Hair Removal for Women

2015-05-03T18:22:00.001-07:00

I have had a decent amount of dark arm hair since I was in junior high. I was extremely self conscious about it and wore a jacket through most of the spring, sometimes into the summer months. I was picked on by many of the upperclassmen but I was too scared to remove the hair worried it would come back darker and thicker. When I got older I decided to bleach it, but only for special occasions, like my wedding. I got use to my arm hair and it doesn't bother me. So why get rid of it? Long story short I saw gold and silver Flash tattoos on people who attended Coachella and wanted to wear some. I immediately realized that would look really weird with all that hair. So I decided to give it a try. Here is a look at my experience as well as what I learned in researching arm hair removal before I gave it go.

Why Do You Have Arm Hair? Is it Important?

I've heard a lot of people say that body hair is the result of evolution and the need for body heat, and although that may be true it tends to be quickly disregarded as we have mastered the art of clothing and central heating. The more important reason you have body hair, especially on your arms and legs, is to warn you. It lets you know before your skin knows, that something is getting close to you. It helps you to keep from getting burned along with other other very preventable injuries. You take away the hair you take away that detection system. So before you go removing the hair you'll want to take a serious look at what your daily activities look like. If your working around hot objects, ovens, etc. your hair is probably best left where it is.

If I Don't Remove it What Are My Options?

Bleaching will help disguise the hair very well. As I mentioned before I did this for my wedding and you could not tell in any of my photos that I had hair. Some have recommended trimming the hair to make it less noticeable but I did not find that helpful and it just make my arm a bit prickly.

Waxing or Shaving?

I thought about shaving since it is by fair the easiest, although you have to do it more often. I decided I would wax first so I could tell you guys about it, let you know how long it takes to grow back, and how it feels when it grows back. Then once it grows back I will shave it for a comparison. I decided to try waxing first and used Nads Body Wax Strips which are less than $7 at Walmart. I did everything they tell you not to:

1. I had a margarita in my system (they say alcohol is a no no as it can

make you bleed more but I've never known anyone who drew

waxing!)

2. I did it very close to my period (its never advised to wax closely

before or after your period as this will increase you pain.)

Small list I know! But those are usually the two big things, right up there with having enough hair to even wax. So I gave it go, forgoing a professionals help at $30, and did it all by myself. I exfoliated with a dry brush and placed small strips of wax on my arm. Many YouTubers mentioned that larger strips hurt more which was quite accurate. The areas near your wrist and elbow will sting more but I found it much easier than my legs. I cannot do my legs! I found it equivalent to doing my sideburns, unpleasant but doable.

The Results

I am more tickled than I expected! They are so soft and smooth! Its a lot more work than I expected and I can imagine that shaving would be so much easier but the results are amazing. I have no issue with women having body hair I just wanted to give it a try and it will be nice to do from time to time. I will keep track and document how fast it grows and how it appears once it comes back. Until then I'll be showing off my newly naked arms that are just as nice as my hair ones. I could have them either way!

2 Week Waxing Update

The regrowth hasn't been as awful as I imagined it would be. My hair is dark and is slightly darker than before only because the hair hasn't had time to be bleached in the sun. After two weeks it is still much better than what I originally had but I am surprised it came back as quickly as it did. I would say the hair I have now is almost an 1/8 inch or around 3 mm.

If I were to wax it now I would be able to get the longer ones, and by leaving the super short ones behind, would have a much thinner regrowth. As you can see its not as noticeable from a distance and wouldn't show up in a photograph, unlike my arms before.

After waxing I can honestly say I'm extremely apprehensive about shaving since all the hairs are at the same starting point and have a flat top, making them more blunt and prickly. Since I have an event coming up this weekend, I will wait to shave them that morning, and will be sure to post more pics.

1 Week Shaving Update

It's hard to see how much hair I really have on my arms after 1 week, but it is more then I had after 1 week of waxing, which is to be expected. Texture wise it's not much different, if at all, but the initial results were not as smooth as the waxing. After shaving my arms twice, I have still not found a way to get them as smooth as when I wax. I exfoliate for both the waxing and shaving. After trying both methods I feel that the shaving works best for every day and the waxing for special occasions. This is mostly based upon convenience and cost. Although I am able to wax cheaper at home, it is still costly and I prefer to wax once every 10 days, or every week, depending on the hair growth.

Petit Vour April 2015 Unboxing

2015-04-30T13:06:00.001-07:00

I'm so excited about this months box! The funny thing is, I'm actually swapping 2 of the items in my box but one item made it totally worth it. The box costs $15 a month with free shipping for US residents and the greatest thing is, if you find something you like, you can order it from their website and get free shipping. The free shipping has saved me a lot of money on the items I have fallen in love with. But enough about that, lets get into the box.

lauren b. BEAUTY Nail Couture Polish in #IMSOLA $18

I'm not a nail polish kind of gal but when I saw this color I had to try it. I'm converted! The reason I hate nail polish so much is that it streaks on me like crazy, never lasts, and just down right looks awful. This is a very thick polish that even the novice can quickly master. I almost didn't need a second coat. I read many reviews that complained about quick chipping but this is not something I've experienced. I'm on 4 days and looking good. The added bonus is that this is a 5-free nail polish, vegan and cruelty free. $18 is a bit high but I had to try their color Venic Beach Venus and was able to get it from the dermstore.com for $15 with free shipping using a coupon code. Still high but it was totally worth it.

Suntegrity "5 in 1" Natural Moisturizing Face Sunscreen - Tinted

Full Size 1.7 oz $45 Sample Size 0.25 oz $6.62 in color Fair

I've been with Petit Vour for over a year now and I'm starting to get tired of empty promises of soon to come complexion profiles. I keep getting very very light products that I cannot use, as have many others. I do not want to try something that is too light for me to wear. Its a waste! So I will be trading this like I should have done with the Juice Beauty CC Cream I recently received.

The Konjac Sponge Co. 100% Natural Vegtable Fibre Face Sponge $12

I religiously use these type of sponges and at first I was going to trade it because I can't see a string on the sponge but after watching a few reviews I can see it does have a string to hand it on. I hate sponges that do not have a string to hang them by, like Eco Tools Konjac Sponge. It feels very unhygienic to lay your sponge down while its wet and then pick it up the next morning only to find that the underneath is still wet.

Box Naturals Luxe Towelettes 1 Rose 1 Lavender Towelette $1.29

Full Box of 12 $8.99

I haven't decided if I am trying these or not yet. I would never pay that much for travel towelettes and typically carry a thing of makeup wipes from Alba when I travel. However, I do like that these are not just makeup wipes. They work on your face and for freshening up your lady garden. That's right! I called it your lady garden, ha ha. If its that gentle then these should be perfect for those with sensitive skin.

Total Value: $37.91

My Petit Vour Order

Tay Rosehip Balancing Cleanser with Seabuckthorn 4.2 fl oz $35

When you subscribe to Petit Vour you can give product ratings on their site which gives you PV points. Every time you rate a product you get 25 PV points. So you can typically get 100 PV points per box. This is not always the case but more often than not they include all the products in their shop. You also get points based on the value of your purchase. You receive 200 PV points for every $10 you spend. You can redeem your points in a $15 off (1,500 PV points) or $25 off (2,500 PV points). I was able to use a $15 off so I got this cleanser for $20 with free shipping.

Most people will tell you not to spend this kind of money on a cleanser, and had it not been for my reward and birthday money I would not have done so. The Kimberly Parry Creamy Cleanser is a good example of and expensive cleanser that isn't worth your money. You get 50 ml for $58 and I personally think it does a poor job of removing makeup. On the surface it appears to but when I go back over with a cotton swab and witch hazel I pick up way too much residue. On the other hand Tay gives you 125 ml for $35, almost triple the amount of Kimberly Parry, and I find barely any residue if any on my cotton pad after using it. I love the way it feels on my face and its personally the best cleanser I've ever used. When I got the sample in Petit Vour I immediately went searching for others to swap with so I could get more. This is hands down my top choice for cleanser and one of the best things I've ever received from Petit Vour.

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys. A Lesson in Loving Detachment.

2015-04-29T19:43:00.001-07:00

I have a confession: I'm a control freak. And for many years an unapologetic one at that. The funny thing was I considered myself to be a mild one, especially after overcoming my battle with anorexia during my youth. I was now a helpful control freak! I could solve problems for people, take things off their hands they didn't have time for, and put things into a different perspective for incapable people in my life. Hell I was practically a guru! And with burdens of the world on my shoulders I felt I could handle them better than most, after all they weren't mine. Then came the lesson of a lifetime that has changed my entire outlook on what are and are not my problems, and the realization was magical.

I was with an active alcoholic for eight years, and nothing will bring out the control freak in you like believing you have someone who needs you to fix them. He is now a recovering alcoholic, which is an entirely different journey littered with its own difficulties. I did not learn during his active years that he was not my responsibility. If I had it would have changed so many things for me. My controlling nature only punished me and those years of worrying are ones that I cannot get back. That is my fault, not his. The lesson I learned after he sought sobriety was profound when I heard these words: "No my circus, not my monkeys." It was so simple, clever, and made me laugh when I heard it and I use it every time I feel myself getting dragged into business that is not mine to deal with. When he had a slip up I did the oddest thing. I let go. Sure it was hard and frustrating, but I stepped back and told him that it was between him and his sponsor. Can you believe it? He was not mine to take care of!!! It was a weight lifted of my shoulders and I finally understood loving detachment. When I stepped back and let go I was able to support him, lift him up, without mothering him. It saved me from myself. But it went beyond the recovering alcoholic in my life.

I began realizing how much stuff was not my business. When certain family issues come up I always feel the need to insert myself and discuss it with both parties, not any more. Even if I'm asked I politely ask them to leave me out of it and deal with the person directly. I don't have to fix everything! When you're not meddling in other peoples business you wouldn't believe the time you'll have on your hands. I know what you're thinking: "But Liz, I'm just trying to help" or "They can't do it by themselves, the need me". Let me just stop you right there. No they don't. If they are an alcoholic you can't change that, only they can. If they can't confront someone, they'll have to learn to do it or do without. Its truly not your problem or place. I'm not saying I do not help people, there is a difference. I'm just saying once you're able to distinguish it changes everything. I'm much more worry free by learning to accept that there is nothing I can do about it. If there is, I do my best to rectify the situation, otherwise I let it go. I'm not a ringleader and this is not my problem.

How I Stopped Taking Sleeping Pills and Got a Better Night's Sleep

2015-04-19T19:21:00.003-07:00

Image courtesy of amenic181 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I remember back when I was a teenager spending hours trying to get to sleep. If I wanted to get to sleep at a decent time I had to start several hours before everyone else but I never remember anyone mentioning sleeping pills. They just weren't a thing. It wasn't until I began working night shift at a nursing home, shortly after graduation, that I could finally sleep. The minute I came home I was out and it was the best sleep of my life. But it was short lived and I eventually rejoined the day walkers. I had some issues with sleep but nothing like I did after my daughter was born.

I couldn't turn off my thoughts. I tossed and turned all night long and was constantly getting up to pee. I figured my daughter had destroyed my bladder, like so many women before me, and getting up 7-10 times a night was normal. During my postpartum depression, the first night I was in the hospital they gave me an Ambien. I was not really asked it was more or less pushed on me. I was very nervous about taking a sleeping pill since I had never tried anything like it. They told me to make sure I was laying down within 30 minutes and I didn't even last that long. Within 10 minutes I had to leave my chair and crawl into bed and the next thing I remember was waking up the next morning. From there Ambien became a regular habit for several months. I was still able to get up in the night and heard my daughter every time she even made a peep. However, it was the minutes, sometimes hours, before I went to be that Ambien was all wrong for me. The more you fight sleep the more drugs like Ambien make you giddy, hyper, and you can even hallucinate. The one story I always heard was that people got up in the middle of the night and ate weird things like whole tubs of butter and other odd things. Luckily I did not get up and do weird stuff. But my husband and I decided I should find an alternative.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I made the decision to get my B.A. while being a stay at home mom which meant many late hours. Even still I couldn't sleep and decided the best "alternative" was an over the counter sleep aid. I tried so many different ones but found I needed an extra push, as well as pain management, so I began using acetaminophen in conjunction with the sleep aids. That led me to Tylenol PM. At first it was one pill, then two, then three, and then finally four every night. As many will tell you tolerance to sleeping pills is a very likely scenario, although I'm sure that's with many things. I have not went a night without sleep aids for 5 years. I look back and can't imagine what I was thinking. But I was desperate. So I'm happy to report I not longer use them and it only took me two weeks to get off them. Here is how it happened for me.

Almost two months ago I finally got sick of everything. Its an odd feeling when you look around at your life and want everything to be different immediately. I wanted to be more active, be out more, have a schedule, everything. That sounds overwhelming and it was. There was only so much I could do at once so I started walking. It was nice and I took advantage of my daughters school hours. Mind you my aim was not to get off sleeping pills. The the weather got too cold and nasty for a while and I wanted to move so bad that I started working out in the house. I didn't want to be stopped. So I looked for free workouts and decided I would do what I could, no reason to push myself. A few weeks after that I moved toward watching what I was eating and starting counting calories like I do now and then. I am not someone who drinks soda, fruit juice, or other sugary drinks. I also do not consume caffeine so many of the pitfalls others run into have not been an issue for me.

Then my husband came to me with the idea of the Keto Diet or low carb high fat. I thought he was crazy, and as you can see from my last post its expensive. I had been scared of fat my whole life, after all I'm a heart patient. But as I started reading what other women had experienced on the diet something caught my attention. They were sleeping better. So I figured I'd give it a go, what could a few weeks or month hurt. So I did, went through the awful Keto flu where your body is switching from carbs to fat, and had the worst sugar cravings of my life. I broke a few times and wolfed down a few Cadbury Eggs while I cried, ya know cause I'm a girl and when we go off the rails we go OFF THE RAILS. Eventually the sugar cravings were no more. I made it through the worst part and worked my way down from four Tylenol PM a night to two and then switched to Sleep Sheets natural sleep aid. After a week, or more, on those I ran out and then I just went to bed. I'm not going to say I never struggle but I was actually tired and most nights never got up for anything. Yesterday I broke my diet and had some honey and some fruit pretty high in sugar, and you know what? I couldn't sleep! I didn't get to sleep until 5 am!

I personally think its a combination of things for me. I have to move a lot through the day, including exercise, I'm very sensitive to sugar and most forms of carbs, I have to have a set schedule, and I have to give myself enough time to just think before going to bed. So many people want to stop the thinking process so they can sleep but I enjoy it and always have. I have forgotten some of the greatest ideas, i'm sure. Its part of my personality to think a lot and having that time to think helps me and I feel more relieved so I can sleep. A simple list will not take care of everything swimming around in there.

So I would suggest to someone if what you are doing isn't working change an aspect, then another, and another until its right. I'm not saying everyone can do without but most probably can. How is it that we ALL need them now when we didn't have this issue a few decades ago or a century ago. Part of it is we're humans and were meant to be moving not sitting all day like many of us have to. Even that little bit of movement in the morning is critical for our health. How can we expect our bodies to rest when the day is done when it more than likely thinks we've been resting all day. Its like being bed ridden, when we're sick we get tired of sleep. Our bodies are tired of sleep and turned on high gear with sugar and caffeine. Maybe, just maybe, the pills aren't necessary.