Motherhood Later...Than Sooner Blog - for those who became a mom at age 35+

My Former Self

2009-07-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

This has been an interesting week.

Seth started camp. Both he and I are adjusting to this new schedule, since the bus comes a bit earlier than it did for school, and returns later. He's been totally loving it and coming home completely ravenous. He walks in the door and announces that he's hungry. Now that I expect it from him, I make sure to have dinner started so he can eat pronto.

We've almost made it through another week with the contractors. The basement is moving along. I've come to realize what a truly blind item it is when you hire workers and you have no knowledge of construction. You come to rely on them completely to do what is needed and best. And, that's as it should be. But, I find it funny when the head contractor calls me downstairs to look at their handywork and attempts to explain why certain pipes have been moved, etc. I listen politely, but don't completely grasp all that he is saying. Fortunately, I know in my gut that he's on top of things, and that's what counts in the long run.

My datebook has been chockful of things to do this week....much minutia, I must say. And, it can get overwhelming at times. I was speaking with my dad today, and he started rattling off all that is on his list. It made me realize that we all seem to be grappling with a laundry list of things that require time and attention. When did life get so perpetually full?! And, he said to me that he's only one person (my mom passed away), and I really felt for him. Life can be busy enough if you have a partner to share it with. And, add to that children, and there's much to juggle and attend to.

I received an email via Facebook this week from a gal I used to work with when I was a Vice President at a NYC public relations firm. It was a true blast from the past and a welcome one. It brought me back there right away to the days of my having an office, wearing panty hose (not that I liked them), ordering in a tuna salad lunch from this delivery place I loved, hanging with office mates, and challenging my creativity on a daily basis, which, though pressured, suited me well. I was in my element. I didn't adore all the powers that be at the firm, but ultimately it proved a great learning ground to build my confidence and have my own practice for a period of time.

I was single most of the time I worked there, and hearing from her reminded me of my dating days, socializing with friends in the city, etc. I didn't love the daily routine of commuting into Manhattan (I lived in Queens and then Long Island), but I did relish the energy when I was there.

Last night, Marc and I got a sitter for Seth, which we rarely do on a weeknight. We had gotten tickets to see the Broadway musical Rock of Ages, since Broadwaybox.com had a special running on a number of shows prior to 4th of July.

The show featured music from the 80s. It's been a long time since I've listened to groups like Quarterflash and Journey. (I still have my record album collection in the basement at my parent's house.) It was a lot of fun, and once again, reminded me of another chapter in my life. Though I wouldn't trade where I'm at presently, there are times I must admit that I miss the days when, despite the fact that I worked fulltime, somehow life didn't feel quite as incessantly busy.

Perhaps part of it is the advent of technology. As much as it has the power to connect, inform and enhance people's lives, it's yet one more thing to do. And, really not "one" thing...but many....since the internet never sleeps.

Speaking of sleep....I'm not getting as much as I'd like/need with all that is on my mind and To Do list. But, I'm so glad it's a holiday weekend. I cross my fingers that the weather holds up and we get to hang at the pool.

There, I am somehow better able to focus on the immediate experience, especially when I'm practicing the crawl stroke. I've ever been one who loved swimming with their head in the water, so this is a whole new arena for me, and I'm enjoying the challenge. When my face is submerged, the world takes on an entirely new perspective, and there's something very freeing about that.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful 4th!

Show I Recommend -- Gazillion Bubble Show

2009-06-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW CELEBRATES ITS 3RD “UNBUBBLELIEVABLE” YEAR OFF-BROADWAY At New World Stages in NYC

GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW continues to amaze audiences with its mind blowing bubble magic at New World Stages (340 W. 50 Street in NYC). A family affair, GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW features Guinness World Record Holders Fan, Ana or Jano Yang.

The show is the first and only interactive stage production of its kind, complete with outstanding light effects, lasers, rousing music and jaw-dropping masterpieces of bubble artistry. The grand finale floods the theatre with an incredible laser display and wave after wave of light-catching bubbles. It is "awesome"....to quote my son.

I recently saw it with Seth (age 6), and he got a huge kick out of jumping out of his seat, trying to catch the bubbles. It was great to take him to a show where he didn't have to stay put, keep quiet, etc. It was an intriguing interactive experience on many levels and quite memorable.

I, myself, was mesmerized with the pulsating streams of colored lights, music and bubbles. I actually found it surprisingly tranquil and relaxing at points....as if I was being transported under the water...between the special effects and the wetness of the bubbles surrounding you, touching you, etc.

I enjoyed it much more than I ever anticipated, and highly recommend it. It's a real treat and feast for the eyes and senses.

And, it was amusing. Kids were selected from the audience and brought on stage, and it was fun to watch their reaction. It felt like one big party. I often found myself saying "wow."

Tickets may be purchased thru Telecharge at 212.239.6200 or at www.telecharge.com.
Running time is 80 minutes, no intermission.

Visit www.gazillionbubbleshow.com to check it out.

Show I Recommend - Thomas and Friends Live! On Stage: A Circus Comes to Town!

2009-06-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Thomas and Friends™ Live! On Stage: A Circus Comes To Town!

The all-new 90-minute musical adventure, Thomas and Friends™ Live! On Stage: A Circus Comes To Town arrived at Nassau Coliseum in NY today June 20 and is also playing June 21 at 1PM for family performances packed with audience singalongs, high-energy dancing and thrilling adventures.

When Thomas makes a big mistake, all the engines on the Island of Sodor must work together to prepare for the exciting event under the Big Top as Thomas proves he's a really useful engine once again. Along the way, Percy, James, Gordon, and of course Thomas, join with Sir Topham Hatt and the townspeople from the Island of Sodor to welcome a colorful cast of circus performers in an engaging story that demonstrates the importance of friendship and cooperation.

My six year old son Seth loved the show. He got a huge kick out of seeking all his favorite Thomas characters, and it was well done. Beautiful set. Lively music and dancing. It was fun clapping to some of the classic Thomas tunes. The confetti was a spirited touch. It's a memorable experience for Thomas lovers of all ages.

Visit ticketmaster.com for information. The show will be traveling and playing outside NY as well.

About Thomas and Friends
Thomas the Tank Engine was created by a father for his son more than 60 years ago and today is enjoyed by families in more than 145 countries. The #1 blue engine and his friends invite children to enter a world of imagination through the tracks of a train and the words of a story. Children embark on adventures with their engine friends while experiencing timeless life lessons of discovery, friendship and cooperation. Thomas and Friends makes tracks to great destinations on PBS KIDS, PBS KIDS Sprout and with downloadable episodes available through iTunes. For more information about the world of Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends, please visit www.thomasandfriends.com.

When It Rains, It Pours

2009-06-19T07:08:00.001-07:00

When it rains it pours....literally.

It's been raining this whole week in NY, and my brain is water-logged.

This has been a trying time.

Seth was home sick with a virus/temperature.

He missed his "moving up" day for first grade.

Luckily he was well enough to attend his kindergarten ceremony/party in class. It was bittersweet.

We had no home phone service for four days due to the basement construction, which is truly challenging me, as I blogged previously.

Workers in the house daily. Decisions to be made. And, now we have a potential legal matter on our hands due to plumbing that turned up in the basement that was done not up to code (we didn't know) by a previous contractor who redid a bathroom for us. It has to be fixed for our current project to pass inspection, and we're looking at a $3,000 expense. The contractor was informed and dismissed it....so we may be looking at small claims court...which I hate to pursue.

Yesterday our home phone service was fixed, and I awoke this morning to a totally dead cell phone. I have no clue why. It won't even charge. It was fine when I went to bed last night.

Ok. I know in the scheme of things none of this is major. But, it adds up.

Seth has half a school day today, and we plan to see the movie UP with friends this afternoon.....after a visit to the Verizon store. The "upside" is that Seth loves that place, so it will be one more engaging activity for him today.

Is this rain gonna stop in time for Father's Day?! Would be nice to spend the day at our community pool and have dinner out. Not sure what we'll do if the weather doesn't hold up.

Ever feel like you just want to stay in bed and sleep for days?! That's kinda where I'm at at the moment, since I haven't been sleeping great all week due to visions of the basement floating through my mind.

I need a girls night out bad! Do you take the time to do that?

It's so important for us caretaking moms to make sure life doesn't feel overwhelmed with chores, tasks, responsibility, etc.

My birthday is in August...and while a ways away...I'm already giving some thought to what I might like to do.

This coming week is gonna be busy too. Seth starts camp June 29th, so I have to make sure he's prepared. And, he's got a ton of half days, so we have some pool playdates scheduled and a haircut. And, two birthday parties for friends of his in the next week.

Diverting for a moment....did you read the story on Newsday.com re: the 53 year old woman on Long Island who participated in a press conference yesterday at North Shore Hospital in NY, announcing she gave birth to twins using donor eggs and her husband's sperm. She wants to be an advocate for those who view their biological clock as ticking, so they can know it's possible to give birth, without complications, even in your 50s.

I thought...more power to her....twins at that age! G-d bless them all. As long as they're all in good health, that's what counts. I, personally, couldn't imagine. But, it's all what you want from life. The dad is 41.

Happy Father's Day to all the "later" dads out there!!

Lessons from the Basement

2009-06-12T09:47:00.001-07:00

Bob the Builder Jr. is officially here.

My son went to town as the demolition crew struck ground in the basement yesterday. He put on his rain boots, gloves, grabbed his hammer and shovel and dug his heels in as he helped, after school, to scoop up the remains of the tile floor.

He was in all his glory, and I was consumed with emotion I didn't expect.

As much as I was not wedded to our basement, along with the rubble and remains arose feelings that caught me off guard.

I was chatting with my wise friend, Michele Laub, this morning. She is leading the Conscious Parenting Teleclass Series MotherhoodLater.com is sponsoring starting June 18th (details are posted on our home page.) And, she got me better understanding my thoughts.

It's amazing how you can want to hold on to the familiar, even when it needs an overhaul. Whether a relationship, job, home...or whatever it is. You hear stories all the time of people, for example, staying in abusive relationships, and I've often wondered why? Now I feel like I get it. Because you're used to it...for better or worse.

My basement is teaching me this.

I took pictures before the demolition started, but it frankly, blew my mind to see pieces tumbling down and for the entire basement remains to be loaded on a truck destined for the dump.

We are gutting our basement by choice. Even though it was finished, there wasn't much good about it except for the potential it held. The lighting was poor. Wires were coming out of the ceiling. Doors were falling off. Closet space was sparse. It was in some ways an actual hazard.

Once this project is done, I have no doubt it will look amazing. Our contractor is fastidious, as are the specialists he's called in. Today I met the electrician who seems really on the ball. We'll be "living" with these guys for at least six weeks, so it's good to have confidence.

I'm just a bit stunned re: my reaction. It took some strength for me last night to venture down to the basement to see the bare beams, vacant floor, stripped walls, etc. Everything I knew was gone.

It's letting go of the old and making way for the new. It's trusting that complete strangers will deliver what we hope for and more. It's relinquishing control, knowing that there will be unforeseen challenges along the way. (We lost cable and phone service part of today and yesterday.) It's having the faith that we'll willingly trust our guts and make the right decisions when there are choices.

It's seeing the excitement in my son's eyes as he rushes to exit the school bus and runs to the top of the stairs to check on the status of the project. It's knowing that we'll once again have our living room back as we move Seth's toys downstairs in what will be a terrific play space, not to mention the ample storage closets we anticipate. It's knowing I'll have a place for my books that I treasure that now occupy part of Seth's bookcase in his room because I have no other place to put them.

It's knowing that we've embarked on a major home renovation that will change our lives as a family for the better for years to come. I'm immensely grateful that we're in a position to do this, despite the economy, and I have every confidence it's an investment that is worth its weight in gold on many levels and will ultimately enhance the value of the house.

For now, I'm going to sit with the feelings the demolition has arisen in me, knowing as my beloved mom used to say, "this too shall pass."

Who knew that a basement would unearth so much and lead to a growth experience in more ways than one?!

Adulthood

2009-06-05T07:01:00.001-07:00

The school year will soon come to a close. Amazing. Seth will be a kindergarten graduate before I blink my eyes.

This coming week is the orientation for the school he will enter in the fall. It's way larger than where he currently attends and feels so adult to me. How will it feel to him? It's hard to imagine my little guy...who's now really quite the big boy...navivating the long halls and staircases and continuing to create a life for himself separate and distinct from me.

But, isn't that what parenting is really all about? We moms do our best so our children can fly.

We've started a new routine in the house. I pick out Seth's clothes in the evening, or he chooses them in the morning, and then dresses himself. It saves time as we inevitably rush to prepare for the school bus, and it's one more step toward autonomy. Some days he takes the initiative. Other days, I help him. It's still kinda nice to be needed in that way.

Next week we are starting a major demolition/construction project in the house of our basement. A Bob the Builder wannabe when he's not aspiring to be a Rescue Hero or Power Ranger, Seth is chomping at the bit to get out his tool kit and go at it. The contractor said he'd take him under his wing, and Seth is totally thrilled and counting the days.

I, on the other hand, am counting the days this project will be complete. It's been 9 months in the making since we signed with the contractor who is much in demand. But, the end result will be worth it. Seth will have a fantastic playspace in the basement that he can grow into and use with friends even as a teenager. I look forward to regaining my living room and relocating the bulk of his toys downstairs. But, until completion day, there will be much stress and mess. And, workers daily in my house, which I don't embrace.

I was speaking with a friend earlier this week about life. A pretty broad subject to say the least. We were agreeing how sometimes it just feels so full and daunting. Jumping from task to task...responsibility to responsibility. So many details, things to handle, etc. I have days where I wish I weren't an adult. Know what I mean? There's something to be said, on a certain level, for being taken care of when things feel overwhelming.

I hope Seth enjoys his childhood to the fullest and doesn't wish the years away before he grows up. He speaks about his adult aspirations, i.e. having a wife and family and SUV with a television and living in our house (he would like us to move out when he's grown up so he can have it) and be a fireman or some other profession where he can help people.

Though at age 6, he likes to do things for himself, there are times when no one does it like a mom. And, I'm glad to be there for him. He'll be "my little guy" forever in my heart.

Post Disney

2009-05-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

We did it!

We have friends who have done it. Family who love it. Have heard much about it, but resisted....until now.

We took Seth to Disney.

Marc had a conference in Orlando for three days, so we left three days early so we could vacation as a family at Disney before his meetings.

We stayed at Animal Kingdom Lodge. A very cool place. You get to see exotic animals 24/7 from your hotel window, etc. Seth loved it. And to enhance the experience, he brought his spy night vision goggles, so he could scope out the zebras and giraffes among others before bedtime.

The first day we hit both Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom. Surprisingly, our favorite attraction overall proved to be the safari. It was so much fun and adventurous.

Seth wasn't into seeing shows, so we skipped Lion King, though I would have liked to see it. We did have a character breakfast at Tusker House with Daisy, Donald, Mickey and Goofy. Great photo opps. and good food.

Magic Kingdom was particularly beautiful at night...all lit up. Seth isn't keen on fireworks....too dark and loud....so we didn't stay for that. But, we all enjoyed the Buzz Lightyear ride. That was a particular standout.

The next day we did Ecpot. Wow...is that place massive. I was there years ago, but had forgotten. The Nemo ride was fun...and Soarin, though a bit scary if heights aren't your things, was truly AWESOME. Seth had a mixed feeling about it, but was a trooper.

I enjoyed the foreign side of Epcot. Reminded me of my single days when I enjoyed traveling to Europe, the Orient, etc. Feels like another lifetime when I vacationed that way.

Our third day was Hollywood Studios. It was particularly muggy that day, and we were all sweating up a storm. Thankfully friends had advised us to bring the stroller so Seth wouldn't have to walk everywhere. Here we particularly enjoyed the car stunt show and Toy Story ride. Seth got to meet Buzz and Woody, and he loved that. And, he connected with two Power Rangers for photo opps, so that made him smile as he did his action poses with them.

The next three days, it rained torrentially in Orlando. Fortunately, I have two friends there, so we got to get together and did some indoor stuff like mall shopping and visiting playspaces and Downtown Disney. Seth had a blast at the huge Lego store. We managed to squeeze in a couple of quick hours by the hotel pool before the heavens opened up our last day there. So glad I had packed a rain coat for Seth!

Now I feel like I need a vacation from the vacation.

As good as it is to get away...coming home...though overwhelming with the unpacking and catching up....feels good too. And, who would have thought that the weather would be better right now in NY than Orlando.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! Our community pool opens up, and I hope to do some chilling there while Seth plays lifeguard. He's been waiting all year to assist at the pool. Time goes fast!

PS -- If you're been to Disney, would love to hear your experiences. Do tell.

Mellow on Mother's Day

2009-05-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

I'm under the weather today and am at home chilling. My husband took Seth to his brother's house for a mother's day brunch, and he's now at the park with Seth.

I feel like a lazy thing being at home...not even wanting to get dressed.

But, aren't I entitled? Why is it so hard for me to relax?

Yesterday I gave a talk (had to) at the Long Beach Public Library re: my book HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH. Despite being sick, I was committed, and didn't want to let them down. So, I popped my cold pills and antibiotic and promised not to breath on anyone in the audience. And, I swore I didn't have the swine flu, when someone asked.

Today, I'm just hangin' around the house. I'm trying hard to give myself permission to do nothing and to practice self care...but you can see that I'm not so great at doing that...since I'm sitting at my computer blogging about it. But, I actually thought it might help to get it out.

Do you ever feel that way as mom?! I guess we often do. Like supermom or woman. That we need to always be on the go...doing something for our family.

But, what's more important than feeling good ourselves?! You've probably heard that expression about if you're on a plane and it's going down, put your seat belt on first or grab your flotation cushion first. You won't be any good at helping someone else if you don't save yourself.

So, can I just get in the groove of being mellow today? Ha! I feel like I'm working hard at relaxing.

It's after 2pm, and I don't know how long they'll be at the park. I should enjoy the quiet in the house. It's weird because back in my single days, I relished my alone time. And, now while I often yearn for it, I don't always know what to do with it if/once I get it.

Boy....it sure can be complicated being a mom!

Hope you're having a good one!

Loving My Dad, as Mother's Day Approaches

2009-05-04T13:11:00.000-07:00

I lost my mom 10 years ago (before I became a mom), and my dad is 90.

I've written before about sandwich generation challenges as a "later" mom, and as Mother's Day approaches, I find myself all the more grateful for my dad.

I miss my mom and think of her often. And, I admit, I get pangs of jealousy when I hear of others making plans to spend the day with their moms in a special, celebratory fashion. I so wish I could do that....even just to hear my moms voice a bit and to see her react to my son.

My senior dad stayed with us this past weekend...his live-in aide went home. Both he and Seth had bad colds, so we mostly laid low in the house, popping Vitamin C, Cold Calm Tea, etc. and lots of napping for both of them.

My dad has had multiple abdominal surgeries in the last few years, and from each, has come complications leading to yet another surgery. He's now in a place where he has daily discomfort and is seeking relief, perhaps in the form of yet another surgery (elective). I can't fathom it and am not convinced it will cure his symptoms. And, I fear for his life.

I realize at 90, he can't live forever. None of us do. But, the notion of one day being parentless is hard for me to grasp. It always has been. I've thought about it for years, particularly since I became a parent. Being a motherlesss mother has been bittersweet enough at times.

I do empathize with my dad's pain, and wish I could rid him of it. Why does the scalpel have to be an option? Can't he just pop a pill? (He's tried, and has seen countless doctors.)

In a way I feel like it's selfish of me not to support him if his choice is to have a surgery. Yet, I can't help but question it. He actually made a comment to the effect that if he were to pass away during the surgery, he wouldn't know the difference anyway since he'd be asleep. Not that he wants to die, but he doesn't fear it.

How different we are. I fear it for him and anyone I love, including myself.

Maybe my dad has the right attitude. To forge ahead....and do what it takes to try to lead a better quality of life... ideally painfree. But, at what risk?! Surgery is not the solution for all, and you never can be sure how your particular body will respond. What about the recovery which can be rough at this age!?

I guess for now I have to try to stay strong and not get all stressed about the surgical prospect.

Mother's Day is approaching, and I do want to enjoy the occasion. Both my beloved mom and dad would want that for me. Not to mention my husband, Marc, and Seth. I'm grateful to have them both. Their unconditional love and support mean the world to me.

Guest Post -- By Elizabeth Gregory

2009-05-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Ready When You Are

Reading Terry Starr’s blog post rang bells for me, because it sounded like so many of the women I interviewed for my book Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood (Basic Books, 2008).

The four reasons mentioned most often for women’s delay were education, establishing at work, finding the right partner, and self-development. Many, like Terry, mentioned several, or all four.

The benefits later moms pointed to over and over included:
•making more money (one study finds there’s a 3% overall wage gain per year of delay);
•having the clout to negotiate a more family-friendly schedule than they would have earlier (their employers both trusted them and needed to retain their experience);
•feeling more ready to focus on family than they felt earlier;
•feeling self-confident, based on their work experience (and that spread to their parenting);
•their husbands were peers and partners in parenting.

In addition, though they couldn’t know this based on their own experience, it turns out that the older you are when you start your family, the longer you’re likely to live (because higher income and education link to better health care access) – so that’s pretty handy, since you’re going to need to be around for a while.

From the big picture perspective, women’s investment in education and work before kids has been a key factor in raising our status in society generally. That is, there’s a direct connection between the fact that so many women have delayed kids (the average age at first birth for college grads is 30 and the average age for all US women is 25, up from 21 in 1970) and, for instance, the fact that we now hold 50.6% of professional and management positions. This means our concerns and insights get a hearing in the worlds of business and government in ways they did not in the past.

So the new later motherhood has big social benefits as well as the personal kind.

Of course there are drawbacks to waiting too. As Terry mentioned, infertility becomes more of an issue with time, and delay. Other drawbacks some later moms pointed to were caring for elders and toddlers at once; having fewer kids than they would have liked; and feeling a bit tired! But the overall sentiment was that the benefits much outweighed the drawbacks. In 2007, 612,000 babies were born to later moms (that’s one in every seven babies), and the birthrate for women 35-45 is at a 40-year high (the difference is that so many moms are starting their families later now whereas back in the sixties they tended to be continuing families begun earlier).

Every woman’s story is her own, and only she knows what makes sense for her at what point. My effort in Ready was to convey a sense of how the trend to starting families later has affected individual women’s lives, those of their partners and kids, and society in general. If you get a chance to read it, let me know what you think, here or on my blog at www.readymoms.com. Look for my postings also on huffingtonpost.com. Happy Mother’s Day everybody!

Guest Post -- By Terry Starr

2009-04-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

Odd Oldie Out

Being the oldest mom in pre-school could at times feel a little like "odd oldie out" and only got tougher entering kindergarten/elementary. This was not something I realized at the time, but there were definitely some pre-conceived notions. Couple this with the fact that I worked full-time and let's just say it took me 5 solid years to find a group of women that I adore and respect. Even today, I am the oldest mom in my wonderful circle of friends and still take a bit of a ribbing at every 'girl's night out birthday celebration'...but, I truly believe in the adage, "You're as young as you feel" because ironically today people constantly mistake me for at least a decade younger.

Having kids later in life certainly has its advantages. My hubby and I were in a pretty stable (financial) position when we had our kids (I was 37 with the first and 41 with the second). Ahh, of course, these days I can't claim anything stable [given our economic climate]. It was a little tougher physically to have our kids this late, but for me, focusing on first establishing my career and then having a family has worked out well. My only word to the wise is that it can be difficult for women to have children as late as I did. And that's a scary thought. In my case, I didn't meet the right man until I was 35 years old...and so the story goes.

Terry Starr, 50, is Co-Founder, www.MYWorkButterfly.com, a site/community whose mission is to provide advice, support and solutions for mothers contemplating a comeback career. She is pictured here with her 13 year old daughter Danielle.

Vermont Vacation

2009-04-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

We just got back last night from our Vermont vacation, and had both a lovely and tiring time.

It was the longest car ride we have taken with Seth, and while at times he grew restless, for the most part, he was surprisingly pretty tolerant. Of course, we made many a bathroom stop, but that was the least of it.

Vermont is lovely. Marc & I used to go there prior to Seth. Our favorite B&B was the Village Country Inn, which has since sadly closed.

Vermont felt very different this time around. While being there brought back memories of our time as a couple, it was the first time we experienced the state as a family. And, it lent itself to an entirely new perspective.

We were away four nights, and for two of the nights, we were joined by another family. Seth is friends with their son, so it was a fun get together for all of us.

We visited places like the Vermont Teddy Bear Company and the Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory. What could be bad with either? Seth made himself a "friend for life" red teddy bear. He hand-picked it and helped to stuff it. Of course, he chose red, because it's a "fire" bear. He's since named him Joe and dressed him in fireman attire.

At Ben & Jerry's, we learned how they make their amazing ice cream and the whole back story of how the company came to be. Quite inspiring, really. Very cool entrepreneurial thinkers....turned millionaires, no doubt...but they also give back, which I respect.

Our first stop was Stowe where we stayed at the Green Mountain Inn (www.greenmountaininn.com). With a prime location, right on the main street in town, it's a good choice for families and others. Our spacious room had a king canopy bed, with a separate sleep area for Seth, who also got his own tv, so we were all happy. And, he loved that they have a game room. There's also a heated outdoor pool, but we didn't take advantage of that this time 'round.

After leaving Stowe, we made our way down Vermont, and stayed at the Manchester View (www.manchesterview.com). We wound up in two adjoining rooms, and Seth adored having his own old-fashioned key to let himself into his room. The view was beautiful, and the staff was very accomodating and helpful.

Seth loved climbing the rock fountain at the Orvis store in Manchester. We visited a farm and got rained on as we checked out the baby lambs. We attempted to take Seth horseback riding, but the weather didn't permit.

We perused bottles of maple syrup, sampled fudge, tasted apple cider, visited a glass blowing factory, kept an eye out for moose and deer on the road, etc.

Seth had a great time. But, ultimately, he yearned to get back home to his lego's and fire trucks.

It's always good to get away...but there's no place like home.

NEWS FROM MOTHERHOODLATER.COM

2009-04-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

In ample time for Mother's Day, I am excited to announce that www.Motherhoodlater.com has launched a Shop featuring cool, exclusive stuff for 35+ moms and others. I’d like to personally invite you to check it out, and tell friends and family.

Proceeds going toward helping support the efforts of MotherhoodLater.com, including our website, free monthly email newsletter, communities, event planning....etc.

On another note...if you're in NY, starting April 22nd, running for 8 consecutive weeks, we're hosting a workshop series featuring Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D. addressing the subject of Enlightened Parenting.

LIParentSource.com is a supporter of the event, and we're happy to have them on board. The site is your free online guide to Long Island family resources from pregnancy through the teen years. You may visit to register for the weekly e-newsletter, find coupons & discounts, events and more!

You may attend the entire workshop series, or pay as you go. There will be door prizes, light refreshments, and freebie samples for all.

We are also on the verge of lauching a tele-class series...so stay tuned for details.

School Break Crunch

2009-04-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today was so sweet.

I went to Seth's Kindergarten class and read two books to the students. Seth was totally excited to have me there. He sat on my lap while I read and helped turn the pages of the books. I chose one book re: conserving energy, in keeping with Earth Day. And, the other was a title after Seth's own heart re: firetrucks and other vehicles doing their job and then turning in at the end of a busy work day. It was truly a tender moment that I'd love to capture. I did capture it in my heart and hope to preserve it there.

I find moments like this especially heartfelt and vital to my mom sanity because starting tomorrow, Seth will be off for the next week and a half from school, and I'm already feeling parenting pressure. What a difference a day can make. One day school, the next day, fulltime mommyhood. Keeping him busy and content 24/7 is no easy feat.

We are going away for part of the time to Vermont, but until then, my husband is still working late at present due to tax season, which has proven so taxing for all of us.

And, later this week is Passover, and we're having my dad and Marc's mom here for dinner. We weren't up to major entertaining. Just too much work, and it's never been my style, though I do appreciate being invited to someone else's home, and I enjoy being with other people, and not just family, for holidays.

I've been anticipating this school break for weeks now. Being Seth's official social coordinator, I've taken care to book playdates and explore local activities we might pursue. I'm even trying to schedule a gym workout for him...he loves going to my gym where he's learning boxing and martial arts. And, it's great for him. He's in his element there.

As a result...I find myself particularly conscious of my time today since I know I won't be able to get much done in the next week and a half workwise...and we also have to pack at some point.

I wish it felt like a vacation to me too this school break.

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to be able to sleep later and not rush to put Seth on the school bus in the morning. And, I do value my time with him, but it can get tiring, depending on his mood and willingness to chill a bit...which rarely happens. I'm not keen on plopping him in front of the tv for hours. Luckily the weather is getting a bit better here, though it's a rainy week this week. If we can get to the park one day, that would be nice. I like being outdoors and see it as a chance to clear my own head.

I adore Seth, and he's truly a little gem, but I'm being honest....these rather long school breaks make me feel like I need a vacation afterwards. Hmmmm.....perhaps it's time to schedule a foot massage when Seth resumes school? (Something to look forward to.)

Gal Pals Day Out

2009-04-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

Had such a fun and relaxing day yesterday....just have to share.

A friend of mine bought a new house in the country, and she was excited to have me come visit. So, she, I and a mutual friend of ours, drove upstate after Seth left for school, and we spent a leisurely afternoon and evening at her home.

It was a lovely day on many levels.

I feel like I'm racing the clock on a daily basis, so to allow myself the opportunity for a day away from my computer (though I did have my Blackberry), was a treat. Since she is spending only sporadic time at the house right now, it's not fully furnished, and there was something to be said for the sparseness of it. The energy felt free-flowing. And, the views from her oversized windows were impressive. Corn fields. A pond. Mountains. Canadian geese. Ok.....the geese pooped all over her deck on the pond, so the serene picture wasn't perfect, but then, what in life is?!

One of my friends who came is adept at decorating, planning out home spaces, etc., so she went to work immediately offering advice on what might be done. It was cool to hear the ideas she was coming up with and to watch her mind at work. She is an artist, so I'm in awe of her talent as is.

My other friend composes music, and she proudly showed us her new Yamaha keyboard, and I thought how amazing it must be to write music in the country and hear it played in this woodsy home with expansive ceilings, etc. I'm sure it sounds wonderful.

I was content just laying back, though I did help my artist friend work on a proposal for an art exhibition she'd like to submit to. It felt good to put on my thinking cap for someone else. Sometimes I feel so caught up in my own projects and endeavors, that it's helpful to step outside my own arena and brainstorm on another person's behalf. It reminded of my pre-motherhood days when I used to work in Manhattan for a PR firm and was constantly producing for clients looking to make headlines re: their products or services. I loved seeing what I could come up with and how the press would respond.

Yesterday, each of us also did our own thing for part of the time in the house, and I liked the vibe of being with other creatve entrepreneurs all working toward our respective goals. It's so isolating, I find, working from my house on Long Island. I'm a big people person, yet I'm a sole practitioner who is home-based.

As the afternoon progressed, we took a ping pong break. It felt like a trip down memory lane. I can't remember the last time I played ping pong or where I played, but I remembered that I always liked it. And, my skill came back. I played pretty well, especially considering it's been years since I picked up a paddle. And, as leisurely as we all tried to take the game, alternating playing singles, the competitive streak came out in each of it, and the game took on zealous speed. It somehow reminded me of my life...bouncing back 'n forth between various pursuits.

I now want to get a ping pong table, if we can fit it in our basement.

We left her house late, and it was raining and so very dark, but still peaceful. We stopped at a Mexican place and had an after hours dinner, and I returned home around midnight. I was yawning away in her car, yet when my head hit the pillow, I was wired and couldn't sleep. It had been both an exhilarating and calming day.

I felt like a free woman for the day. Not a mom. Not a wife. Not a daughter. Just Robin. The Robin who is more capable that she might think of laying back.

I need to tap into that Robin more often. I think all us busy multi-tasking "later" moms need to take the time to soothe our inner spirit, rejuvenate, and remind ourselves of who we were before motherhood.

Our children, mates, etc. will probably like us all the better for it, because we will ultimately be happier if we recapture any joy from yesteryear that feels lost. Or, even if it doesn't feel lost, but has taken on a different shape, it still feels good to rediscover activities we loved and the joy of both play and doing nothing.

I look forward to teaching my son the rules of ping pong one day.

PS -- Check out the April giveaway on MotherhoodLater.com, courtesy of www.MamaMio.com. They feature anti-aging body care and gifts for yourself or other supermamas in your life.

Guest Post -- By Jennifer Covello

2009-03-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

Your Child has AD/HD… Now What?

“Your son is having some trouble in our class. We’d like to speak to you about it”

I’ll never forget that day or those words as I entered my son, Christopher’s pre-school to pick him up for the day. His teacher and the center director were both there.

You know how it is. You’ve worked all day and you just want to pick up your child from daycare, head home, and ready yourself for your other full-time job as parent. This was not to happen that day. I spent the next twenty minutes hearing about how Christopher could not focus on a task, could not keep his hands to himself, interrupted the teacher, and walked about freely. With each “wrong-doing”, I felt myself shrinking.

Then, I heard those fateful words. “We think you should consider having him evaluated.”

My son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) at the age of five. I remember all too well the experts at All Kinds of Minds Institute in New York City revealing to me my son’s strengths and his weaknesses. And while I was glad to have an ‘answer’, I knew that our journey was only beginning and there was much to do.

Looking back, I believe I went through a grieving period after the diagnosis. I was sad that my son would face challenges for which I had no experience. I was angry that he had this disorder. Even before the official diagnosis, I was in denial. Maybe he’d outgrow it. Then of course, came a half-hearted acceptance when you realize in order to best help him, you have to educate yourself and get on with the business of becoming his advocate until he could become one on his own.

That was seven years ago. Today, Christopher is in sixth grade. He has made the honor roll twice, most recently high honors. He is passionate about basketball. Is he cured? No. Is it a struggle? Yes. As a later mom, do I feel more challenged by this? Yes. But, what I lack in patience, I make up for in perseverance, which is critical when you are advocating for your child.

What I used to see as a “disorder”, I now see as a gift. My son is creative, loving, funny, and passionate about the things that really interest him. And when all is said and done, he has taught me that no matter what your “disability” is, if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.

Jennifer Covello, a native of Long Island, New York, and a "later mom", has a background in Information Technology and Marketing. She formed Frittabello, LLC and created a unique keepsake baby journal for children from birth to age 5. As a mother of a child with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), Ms. Covello has become an advocate for children with AD/HD and will donate a portion of the proceeds of her product sales to organizations that educate and empower parents and children working through this challenge. See http://www.frittabello.com for more information or to join her mailing list, contact her at jcovello@frittabello.com.

God of Carnage -- Play I Recommend

2009-03-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

I don't typically blog about a play I've seen, but I feel compelled in this instant.

I adore theatre, but with tickets prices so high these days, I try to be selective about what I see. This time I'm happy to say I picked right!!

My husband and I hired a sitter and went to see GOD OF CARNAGE on Broadway this past Saturday night.

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, and as a mom, I could so fully relate.

The premise is that two married couples meet in the home of one of them to discuss a delicate situation involving their 11 year old children. One boy left the other with a swollen lip and broken teeth after a playground brawl.

What starts out is a somewhat awkward, though mild-mannered discussion between seemingly sophisticated adults re: how best to handle the matter. They contemplated when/whether to get the boys together for an apology, why the incident happened to begin with, etc. etc. As the banter progresses, gradually the protective layers (clothing & otherwise) of each couple wears away, and they let loose on each other.

It's a riveting and riotous take on parenting, marital relations, society expectations, etc.

Jeff Daniels, Hope Davis, James Gandolfini and Marcia Gay Harden star, and are total fun to watch. Performed without an intermission, the production picks up breakneck comedic speed and never loses steam. It was a real treat to witness the acting chops of these veteran performers. (And, for Sopranos fans, you'll get a hoot out of James Gandolfini who is in fine theatrical form.)

The Broadway production of Yasmina Reza’s GOD OF CARNAGE opened on Sunday, March 22. The play, translated by Christopher Hampton and directed by Matthew Warchus began previews on Saturday, February 28 at the Bernard Jacobs Theatre (242 West 45 Street in NYC).

GOD OF CARNAGE reunites the creative team that staged the Tony Award-winning Best Play, Art. Designed by Mark Thompson (sets and costumes), with lighting by Hugh Vanstone, sound by Simon Baker & Chris Cronin, the play has music by Gary Yershon.

Tickets are available through Telecharge.com, by phone at 212-239-6200, or 800-432-7250, online at http://www.telecharge.com/ or in person at the Jacobs Theatre box office, 242 West 45th Street. Box office hours are Monday through Saturday 10:00am – 8:00pm and Sunday from 12:00pm – 6:00pm. Ticket prices range from $66.50 to $116.50.

The performance schedule for GOD OF CARNAGE is Tuesday through Saturday at 8:00pm, Wednesday and Saturday at 2:00pm and Sunday at 3:00pm. Please note that beginning the week of March 23, Tuesday performances are at 7:00pm.

A Circus Weekend

2009-03-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

We had a busy weekend. Marc worked yesterday, and I took Seth and a friend of his to see Race to Witch Mountain.

While it was a Disney film, it was a bit "darker" than I had expected. Full of action and intrigue, Seth loved it. His friend had moments of being a little bit scared, but she was a trooper, and got through it with flying colors.

Today, Marc and I took Seth to the circus. The older he gets, the more he seems to enjoy it, and today, he really loved it. Marc and I enjoyed it too, and the stands were packed. I don't remember ever seeing it so crowded.

It was Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey presenting Zing Zang Zoom.

A catchy name and theme song, this performance offers magic and circus spectacular.

There were dazzling trapeze acts, female human cannonballs flying through the air at top speed, awe-inspiring high wire acts....etc.

Seth particularly loved the acts with animals. Dogs, Asian elephants, Bengal tigers, Arabian and Friesian horses, and even zebras, caught his full attention, and he couldn't get enough.

For Seth, it was truly 'The Greatest Show on Earth," and we were glad to share the experience with him.

Check it out at http://www.ringling.com/.

Guest Post -- By Debbie Zipp

2009-03-17T15:08:00.001-07:00

A look back by a "later" mom ......

EMPTY NEST AND THE TEDDY BEAR STORE

The empty nest is suddenly approaching. How will I feel? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? The answer is in the Teddy Bear Store.

My daughter just turned 21. My son is 16 1/2. I am 54. Hmmmm. Are they old or am I? I guess it depends on your point of view. But no matter what my age the empty nest syndrome is quickly approaching.

I have had to start thinking about the empty house in my future. How will I feel when their bedrooms are empty and devoid of the sounds of life of the ones so precious to me, no matter how annoying a few of those sounds are?. . . Their faces won't be readily available to kiss, or their bodies always there to hug everyday. Or when I no longer HAVE to get up or stay awake for them, or work my day around pickups???..the list is endless. How will my heart feel when I am no longer needed in that way?? And of course there is also how I will feel about the empty nest when I no longer have to pick up theendless crap around the house and scream that I am not a servant! When I no longer have to argue about grades and responsibility and impress upon them that I am not a servant and or doormat. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

It could go both ways, I guess. However since the prices of apartments in Los Angeles are so astronomical how can a young person afford to strike out on their own? Perhaps we will end up like the Walton's and the house will be filled with our kids and the grandkids and me and my husband and all the doggies and fishies. My husband and I will just take a lot of trips. And this too could be a good thing or a bad thing. It could go both ways. Anyway I digress.

My daughter is turning 21, and my son wants to get her something for her birthday, and he is having a terrible time at the mall deciding. Boy I hate that. Malls, teenage boys and tough shopping decisions. How will I feel about not having to do THIS anymore? Well, we passed one of those teddy bear stores, and his shopping block ended. You know... the stores where you pick a bear, they stuff it, put a heart in it and it is born? You get a birth certificate, you name it and pick a stunning wardrobe for it, and lots of other stuff, so by the time you are out of there you have created a bear that only Donald Trump could afford for his daughter. Well I watched my 6.1 ft 16 year old son pick out the bear with great care, and even the panties (about $5 for those and I don’t even spend that on my own panties!). And suddenly I saw him, with complete ease and a little gleam in is eye, turn around and jump up and down and do an entire routine, usually done only by 4 year olds, to bring the newly stuffed bear’s heart to life! That memory was instantly stamped into my brain and heart, and will live there forever and ever. THIS is what I will miss. These unforgettable moments. Not just the daily give and take, kissing and yelling, but this...these unexpected, unrepeatable delightful moments.

So even though my children are slipping away because they are maturing so fast (and that is a good thing) and will not need me in the same way (if I've done my job properly), they are, and will forever be, in my heart. All that they were as children and all that they are becoming are there in plain sight for me. The big memories like this or the little ones. I may have forgotten a lot at this age and I may forget more (I like to blame it on menopause not age) but there aresome memories that stick like Elmer's. My son’s happiness when doing something special for his sister will stick. Enough will stick.

My heart is the real home where my children will always be no matter where they happen to live. I think those kind of memories rest in your heart, not your brain, because that is where they will be safe. I may have an empty nest, but I will never, ever, have an empty heart. Of course I am kind of leaning towards the Walton's idea, and perhaps a grandchild or two (eegads! not now but later) to take, hand in hand, to the Teddy Bear store, where I will watch them dance with glee as I hold back tears of joy.

Debbie Zipp is Producer for The First Entertainment Network for Women Over 40 on the Web http://www.inthetrenchesproductions.com/. This is the site for the multi-tasking woman looking for an upbeat break in her day. Award-winning films offer a funny commentary on life after 40, or a satirical look at the economic downturn, or a commercial spoof on the obsession with looking forever young. The series episodes provide inspirational tips on sprucing up the garden or whipping up tasty treats or life lessons from the heart. So sit back, relax, kick off your shoes and take a break today.

Stir Crazy in the Suburbs

2009-03-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

I am going totally stir crazy today.

Seth is home with strep throat, and I have a cold, and I'm miserable.

The sun is shining, though it's not entirely warm as yet, but it feels like a tease.

I'm itching to go out. Anywhere....

My son is hopping or I should say bolting, from activity to activity. Nothing holds his attention for long. Not evena new toy, a belated gift for his birthday...a remote control car that does stunts. He loves it. To me, it makes way too much noise and is crashing into all the furniture. This is not a toy a mom would embrace.

My kitchen looks like a disaster zone, with fire trucks, ambulances, and other vehicles galore. Seth was creating an obstacle course for his stunt car.

The living room looks like a cyclone hit it. It did....Cyclone Seth. Train tracks strewn about. Legos. Diego's explorer house. You name it.

I'm getting worn out just looking at all of it.

Calgon....take me away! I need a massage.

And, it's tax season. My husband typically works very late on Tuesday nights.

I asked him please to work late on Saturday instead, and come home regular time today. I need a break.

Seth needs to get a bath, and he's fighting me on that.

Today is a total challenge.

Luckily the antibiotic has kicked in, and the doctor said Seth can go back to school tomorrow.

I feel guilty for saying it, but today doesn't feel like quality time with my son.

He's bouncing off the walls, and my head is aching.

Tomorrow is thankfully another day.

PS -- In future blog posts, I'm looking to potentially highlight cool products of particular interest/benefit to 40 women (including moms of course). If you know of any, I'd love to hear about them. Drop me an email.

Guest Post -- By PTA Mom

2009-03-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

FORK IN THE ROAD

Living in a suburb outside of New York City, most women I know didn’t get married in their twenties. I got married at 30, bought my first home not long after, traveled, got promoted (a few times), and then decided it was time to have kids.

Now, I never saw myself as the “stay at home” Mom type, but completely respected the choices that other people make. I had always focused on my career first— it was a career with long hours, business travel, and a healthy paycheck. But when child #3 came around (at age 38), I started rethinking my priorities. It may have been child #3, or it may have been that I missed going to the oldest child’s (age 5) school concerts that were during the day or that I didn’t get to have coffee with the other Moms after dropping the middle child (age 3) off at Nursery school or that I was envious of the kids afternoon trips to the park with the Nanny.

So I decided to get involved and fully embraced the idea that I could balance both being a Mom and working, but I would just have to make a few adjustments. I joined the PTA, volunteered to coach sports teams and made friends with other Moms. There were definitely other working Moms out there, and to my surprise, some that had pretty high powered jobs too. They just didn’t volunteer as much (or at all, in some cases). Even though I was determined to “do-it-all”, I was exhausted from trying to do so much (but really didn’t let on to anyone, even when people said “I don’t know how you do it all?” as a compliment). Yes, I may be “doing-it-all” but not well, I thought, so when the big 4-0 was just around the corner, I decided it was time for a change. I still work full-time, but recently traded my commuter train ticket for a job closer to home. Actually, in the home. I decided to be my own boss and become a consultant doing the same Digital Marketing I did while working for “the man”. Actually, a woman. One who was great, but I didn’t want to resent her because of missing time with my family. And now the paycheck isn’t nearly as big, but the happiness is enormous. It is so nice to see the smile on the kids faces now that I can actually sit down and have dinner as a family. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still pretty tired, but now at least, I doze off with a smile on my face.

PTA Mom writes for http://www.thethreetomatoes.com/, an email newsletter and website lifestyle guide devoted to “women who aren’t kids.”

Kissing Bandit

2009-03-13T14:10:00.001-07:00

Today caught me by surprise.

I was on the phone long distance with a friend who is so wise...a former teacher...with a dedicated spiritual practice...when my call waiting kicked in. I quickly picked up, and it was the father of a girl in my son's class who was over the top upset with the fact that he learned his daughter and my son had kissed in school.

I had no knowledge of the situation. Hadn't heard a word about it. So I told him I'd have to call him back. I shared with my friend what transpired, and it led to an interesting discussion about people's upbringings and belief systems. I will blog about that another time....but in a nutshell....part of what she shared is that people come to parenting with what they experienced when they were being brought up. Sure, they may have formed their own beliefs separate and distinct from those of their parents, but their foundation is that of their parents...for better or worse.

I called Seth's teacher as fast as I could. She was at lunch break. I anxiously waited to hear from her so I could get the lowdown.

When she called back, she explained that she hadn't phoned me herself to discuss it because the incident happened earlier this week, and the children had been spoken to, understood, and the teachers were keeping an eye out. If she thought it was an on-going issue, she would have let me know.

I called the girl's father back and told him I had spoken with the teacher and that I'd chat with Seth after school today. The father felt it was highly inappropriate behavior.

I have to say I had a mixed feeling. While I don't endorse the kids kissing on the lips, which is apparently what happened, they are six years old. It was innocent. They are friends. My son is highly respectful. I also know that Seth isn't a big kisser other than to his family....a hugger yes.....so I was kinda surprised to hear about this. I wondered who actually made the first move?

I had a talk with Seth when he got home. He was embarassed and said his teacher already spoke to him and he understood. I told him I wasn't mad, and that kissing on the lips isn't great for kids because it can spread germs. It's great to have a good friend and there are other ways to express that you care about someone.

I work as a Love Coach for singles (http://www.lovecoach.com/), and little did I know I'd be putting on both my mom and Love Coach hat at the same time with my Kindergarten age son.

PS -- Check out the March contest on http://www.motherhoodlater.com/. It features a great giveaway courtesy of The Organized Parent -- http://www.theorganizedparent.com/.

PPS - Also...if you're a mom in NY, http://www.motherhoodlater.com/ is hosting an Enlightened Parenting workshop starting April 22nd. Write to the email on MotherhoodLater.com for details.

Guest Post -- Is it Too Late? By Lee Silber

2009-03-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

TAKING STOCK OF WHERE YOU ARE—AND WANT TO BE

When you look at the list of old bands still on the road it makes you wonder, when are you too old to rock and roll?

Bruce Springsteen and his band performed at this year’s Super Bowl half-time show (and have a new album out) and he’s only five months away from turning 60. Other acts that are still successfully touring include the Eagles (all the key members are 60 or over), Jimmy Buffett is still going strong at age 62, and the Rolling Stones never stopped rockin’ even though Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are both 65. Does that make you feel old? Think about this, John Bonham and Ringo Starr’s sons are drummers with the latest versions of Led Zeppelin and the Who.

What does this mean for us? Well, for one thing, 60 really is the new 40 when it comes to age. Also, it’s never too late to do what you want to do. Many people were hanging onto a job they really didn’t like because it paid the bills. Then, all of a sudden that job is gone. Disaster, right? Not necessarily. This could be your your “excuse” to do what you have always wanted to do for a living. The biggest reason people don’t go after their dream job, become their own boss, or try something new is they think it’s too late. It’s not.

Consider this, Actor Danny Aiello (Moonstruck) didn’t start acting until he was 40. Also at the age of 40—and after years of doubling for Roy Rogers, Gary Copper, and other stars as a stuntman—Richard Farnsworth (The Natural) became an actor himself—with great success. Peg Phillips retired as an accountant at age 60 and then went into acting, co-starring in two successful television series, Northern Exposure and 7th Heaven. How about the late Ronald Reagan, the actor didn’t enter politics until he was elected the Governor of California at age 55, and remains the oldest person ever to serve as President of the United States. Still not convinced? There tons of other examples of people either switching careers or making a name for themselves later in life. Harriet Huntington Doerr published her first novel (Stones For Ibarra) at the age of 74, and won that year’s National Book Award.

After a string of unsuccessful other careers, Raymond Chandler published his first short story at 45, and his novel The Big Sleep at 51. Already a successful insurance company executive, Poet Wallace Stevens pursued his passion for poetry seriously later ion life and won a Pulitzer Prize at the age of 76. Colonel Sanders (KFC) and Ray Kroc (McDonald’s) were both over 60 when their businesses began to boom. Singer Andrea Bocelli was a lawyer and didn’t release his first record until he was 34. Pro-Bowl and MVP quarterback Kurt Warner didn’t enter NFL the until he was 28 (that’s when many players are hanging up their cleats).

For each of the above examples there was a different reason for their decision to pursue their passion. Some were fired first (Raymond Chandler), others were waiting for the right opportunity to jump in (Ray Kroc), and still others were just not given their shot until they proved themselves at lower levels (Kurt Warner).

Whatever the reason, at some point a door opens with an opportunity to go for your ultimate goal, and this may be one of those times. It’s up to you to walk through it. On the other side may be immense success, total fulfillment, or both. If your reason for not taking that step is you are too old, I think we can all agree that’s not the issue.

LEE SILBER is the award-winning author of 14 books including "Rock To Riches" and "Organizing From The Right Side Of The Brain". To learn more about Lee go to http: //www.leesilber.com.

Jo Bros Fan Here

2009-03-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

I'm 48....going on 18.....going on 8.

I admit it. I like the Jonas Brothers.

Some of my mom friends don't know who they are...which I find a little hard to believe. Do you?

But, if you're the mother of a would-be 6 year old rocker boy, as I am, you surely do know them.

Tonight we went to see their new 3D movie, and I have to say, it was cool.

Joe Jonas is the heartthrob lead singer. Nick has a really interesting, unique voice. And, Kevin, I don't know quite what to make of him. But, together they are a musical force with legions of fans I image worldwide.....including me and Seth.

I also like High School Musical.

And, I must admit, Miley Cyrus kinda appeals to me to.

And, I'm addicted to American Idol. My son came home one day this week from kindergarten and told me the kids in his class were talking about American Idol.

I feel like teeny bopper again. Wish I was one, chronically too. That would be fun.

I do appreciate keeping up with these pop cultural wunderkids thanks to my son.

Were it not for him, though I'd know of these performers, I'd likely not be buying their CDs.

Seth went to bed tonight listening to the Jo Bros CD, and I was running through scenes from the movie in my head.

What's up next? I don't know.....but I do know I'll be tuning in this week to see how the 13 contestants make out with Simon, Paula, Randy and Kara.

Snow Angels

2009-03-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

Monday was a snow day for Seth, and he couldn't be more thrilled about it.

My reaction wasn't exactly the same.

While I was SO hoping that my snow boats could be retired for the season, the weather man had other things in mind.

I have never loved snow. It's cold. Wet. Messy. Slick roads....hard to drive in. Requires shoveling. Turns to ice. etc. etc.

It was interesting, though. More than one friend emailed me after the storm and wrote "enjoy the snow."

I thought....hmmm....am I missing something?! Enjoy it? I don't ski. We don't have a sled or inner tube. Sure, I could build a snowman with Seth, but I don't have ski gloves. I could make snow angels, but only have wool coats.

Am I a snow party poop? Perhaps.......

I did take pleasure in the pleasure Seth took from it.

He couldn't get out there fast enough to shovel. Chomp away at the ice. Jump as high as he could to break off icicles hanging from tree branches. Lay himself down in the snow and make angels.

He even dove face down into it when the snowfall was fresh. He emerged all rosy cheeked and a bit frozen, but didn't lose a beat.

He was so full of life and spirit and didn't care how cold or wet he got. Afterall, snow doesn't happen every day (thankfully, from my perspective).

There is something to be said for playing with abandon, and not overthinking.

Sometimes, as a 40-something mom, I do feel that I get caught up in the potential aftermath of taking certain actions. Know what I mean?

In this case....I'd have to change my clothes. Drag messy boots in the house. Wipe up the wet floor. etc. etc.

I guess, in the scheme of things, who cares?!

Life, despite its responsibilities, is supposed to be fun. I have written before that I don't do enough of that. And, who plays better than a child?! I could learn that from Seth. This is what they say helps keep you young....or at least young at heart. I want some of that!!

Maybe next year I'll buy myself a ski jacket and gloves, and go for it! I should actually look now....they'll probably be on sale.

I've always loved hot chocolate, and I could look forward to that after my jaunt in the snow! And, no doubt, Seth would gladly join me in a cup.....he'd want his with marshmallows.