Motherhood Wanted

Jumping back in?

2020-01-03T16:32:00.000-06:00

Hello readers (if I still have any).

Awhile I ago I made the decision to stop TTC due to the progression of my heart condition. I have been on Mirena IUD, quite happily, and just had my Mirena re-inserted at 5 year mark in Sept 2019.

Mirena IUD from mirena-us.com

However, since then, I have had my long-awaited pulmonary heart valve replacement. The wonders of modern medicine still amaze me. When I had my first valve inserted when I was just 8 yo, I had to have open heart surgery and 17 days in hospital, due to complications.

THIS time...with the Edwards-Sapien valve, they were able to insert via catheter. I had ONE night in hospital and two weeks recovery. I am currently on two meds to prevent clots, a baby aspirin and Plavix (lisinopril). Luckily, I will be off the lisinopril in April 2020, after I see my Cardiologist for my follow-up appointment.

Heart Health from heartfoundation.org.au

I have had such massive improvement of heart symptoms since the surgery. At least 95% reduction in chest pain and heart palpitations (my estimate). My experience was having chest pain and/or heart palpitations at least once daily prior to valve replacement, and now I have nearly none!

Since I've been feeling so well, my DH asked me one day what I thought about TTC again.

thebrianahansen.com

I had happily accepted our childless state. I really enjoy not having periods due to being on Mirena. I do have some serious concerns about how my mental health will fare with the physical and other demands of pregnancy and early motherhood.

I do still regret not making him a father. Because he will be such a great one. I told him all of this and stated that I would not be willing to go forward unless

A) We wait to start TTC after talking to my Cardiologist at my follow-up in April.
B) He must, must, must help with newborn care. I mean, equal share, because I know when I'm sleep-deprived my heart, behavioral and all other health suffers and I genuinely am concerned that it will make me a terrible mother to boot.

He agreed. Now I'm in research mode, trying to find out what other monitors, herbal remedies, and overall tools for TTC are available now that weren't 5 years back when I stopped trying.

Wish me luck, readers! If you want to see what supplements, monitors and other tools I'm stocking up on for TTC, check out my Getting Ready to TTC 2.0 list on Amazon.

Mirena IUD: My insertion experience and 1 month later

2014-11-12T05:00:00.000-06:00

In my last post, I described how I chose to get a Mirena IUD, since my physical health looks like it will not support carrying a pregnancy to term with safety.

Prior to my appointment, I took a preventative Ibuprofen. It was certainly uncomfortable, but quick. My doctor reviewed the procedure, including what would happen and how he would insert the IUD. He answered any questions I had. My OB-GYN confirmed placement of the Mirena via ultrasound. He did an ultrasound both prior to the insertion, to review that there were no barriers or problems and to get an idea of where to place it. It then proceeded like most pelvic exams, but there was an extra instrument needed to hold open the cervix. It felt a little pinchy, with some pressure.

Near the final steps, when he had to take a sample for testing while placing, I felt that and it affected me like cramps---achy pain in the pelvis and immediate effects on my gastrointestinal system. Usually it is nausea, and that was there, but also a need to have a BM.

I was SUPER crampy that night. I spent the evening on the couch with a heating pad on my pelvis. But, I was able to go to work the next day, with regular doses of ibuprofen.

It has been about 1 month since my Mirena was placed. I don't need ibuprofen as often. I think I had a "period". It was about 10 days of heavy spotting to very light bleeding. I still have random spotting every now and again, especially after sex--for at least 3 days. However, from what I've read in educational material, this is to be somewhat expected. Many women notice increased heaviness and length of bleeding in the first six months, but state that after this, they regulate, and some do not even bleed at all while on Mirena.

Since Mirena is often prescribed to treat women with excessively heavy bleeding during their periods, and my periods are usually medium flow at best, I have hopes that once it settles I will not have any bleeding. I can deal with spotting. I am becoming expert at the features of various pantiliners.

Still wanting, but looking at other options

2014-11-09T22:24:00.001-06:00

I have had to visit both a pulmonologist (lung doctor) and an allergist to address my growing difficulty with breathing. I am now taking an inhaled medication for my "asthma", which is not the most common kind. I have no issues breathing out, but in inhaling air when my airways are irritated. Which, apparently, are irritated by the following:

Cedar 1 (Nov-Feb)
Cedar 2 (Nov-Feb)
Cat 1
Cat 2
Bahia (Apr-May)
Dust mites 1

There might have been others too, but that's plenty. Not to mention smoke, pollutants, perfume, etc. I will say, I do not have a dire form of asthma, the difficulty breathing slows me down, but in the US, I have rarely reached that point of hyperventilation common to most asthmatics.

After several other tests by my pulmonologist (who is a dear!), and about the second doctor to express real concern for my health and safety if we continue to achieve pregnancy, my husband and I made a difficult choice to discontinue our goals to achieve pregnancy via my womb.

I have a dear, dear, friend who has offered to be our surrogate. At this point, we do not have the funds for it, but we are looking into ways of funding it to see if this might be an option of building our family.

In the meantime, I saw an OB-GYN to look at methods of more permanent birth control. I had decided against Essure and traditional tubal ligation only because of the anesthesia--I would be at higher risk due to my obesity and breathing issues. So, we settled on the Mirena IUD.

I will update on my experience with Mirena for the rest of this blog. IF we manage to be able to go through with the surrogacy, I will also post updates here. BUT, most likely, my posts will be few and far between. I will be leaving the blog up for those who may benefit from the posts.

The longing and the waiting...

2014-05-09T22:14:00.000-05:00

I recently started posting quotes on my Twitter account @MotherhoodWantd
The one I posted for today made tears well up in my eyes, because it is so true. Anyone TTC for very long will know that this can encapsulate the emotions of infertility.

It is hard to wait for something that might never happen; it is harder to give up when you know it is everything you want. --Unknown. (http://addicted2success.com/)

For me, this has been my struggle for the last 2 years or so. Do I give up due to the potential threat to my health and the never-ending failure to get pregnant/carry to term? A large part of me is ready to throw in the towel. 1) I love my husband, my family 2) It scares me to think of either not surviving my pregnancy, losing the baby because of it, or just being so sick after that I can't take care of my kid.

I've tried to explain this to my husband, but he is in denial over the potential deadliness of my condition. I have to say the desperate, biological drive to reproduce has me also wanting to throw caution to the wind. Part of me wonders if my miscarriages are God's way of preserving me. And I should listen. But my cardiologist gives me hope. He says that I shouldn't be able to live the life I want and promises to take care of me if I do get pregnant. But it is scary.

I think it is hardest when I see my husband with our nieces and nephews; he has such a great time and he will make such a fantastic father. It is hard to give up on that.

ToConcieve Giveaway in honor of 25th annual National Infertility Awareness Week

2014-04-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

For those of y'all that have been following my blog, you may know that I was selected to try out and advanced lubricant designed not only to promote more sperm reaching the target zone, but to also encourage women's bodies to produce more of the necessary cervical fluid that helps the sperm safely navigate through the cervix and on their way to the fallopian tubes.

If used daily, this can help women produce more of their appropriate cervical fluid that promotes pregnancy. It can also be a supplement to aid lubrication when baby-dancing. It is recommended to apply once daily (after showering/bathing) and anytime you have intercourse. One thing I really like about ToConceive is that I don't have to give it a specified time period to be more effective, so it's great when you're being spontaneous or at least doesn't kill the mood.

Anyway, I know that I have used ToConceive in my recent cycle that resulted in pregnancy. I also can say that I have noticed an increase in the overall volume of my cervical fluid throughout my cycle, and I previously had scanty EWCM.

So, I highly encourage y'all to check out their Facebook page and win a bottle for yourself!

In honor of the 25th anniversary of National Infertility Awareness Week, ToConceive is giving away 25 bottles of ToConceive to couples trying to conceive, in hopes of spreading hope to all couples TTC. To enter, visit ToConceive's Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/keytoconceive) and comment on the post "Hope is..." letting us know what hope means to you. To promote infertility education, we'll also donate 25% of all profits during that week to RESOLVE.

Visit to OB/GYN

2014-04-15T21:22:00.001-05:00

So, today I went to see my PCP for a check-in related to my hypothyroidism. The levothyroxine appears to be managing that condition well. When I told him that I suspected I had miscarried, he insisted that I get an appointment today with an OB/GYN to confirm and clarify if the miscarriage was complete. I was able to go this afternoon. This OB/GYN was practical and understanding. He agreed to do an ultrasound as I had experienced some low pelvic pain on the left side. I suggested that this could just be an IBS symptom. Either way, he did not find presence of anything in my uterus. He stated that the lining was thin, and he clarified for me that it was at the level he expected.

He did order an hCG (quantitative) to confirm loss and also an antibody level. He stated that due to my - RH factor, I will need a Rhogam shot when pregnant, but my losses have been so early, he did not believe it was a factor and would not benefit me at this time.

From what I know of antibody testing, if it is abnormal, baby aspirin could be an effective treatment. However, with my hx of congenital heart defect, I am reluctant to try this unless it is needed. I was looking at my last few CBCs, and the only consistently abnormal level was my MPV (mean platelet volume). Even when I have not been pregnant or recently miscarried, I had a *slightly* higher than normal MPV. I've only had one in the last 5 since 2012 that has been in the normal range, and it was just under the highest part of the range.

I don't know if this means anything, really, but from some research information I have come across, it is not a satisfactory indicator by itself. However, if I also have abnormal antibody levels...

I still have little luck in getting a RE or OB/GYN willing to actually treat my infertility due to my heart condition. It's possible that if I have a 3rd confirmed miscarriage, I could get them to agree to some sort of supplementation after I get a positive test.

The torture continues...

2014-03-29T07:03:00.001-05:00

I hate my body right now. If any woman reading this has miscarried, you will know what I mean. For whatever reason, I'm significantly less sad about this miscarriage than I would have been 6 months ago. I keep mulling over the possible reasons for this. Possibly since this is not uncharted territory for me; sadly, I'm navigating slightly familiar waters, so I know better what to expect. Although, I think many people in their fear of change cling to a misapprehension that once they've done something once, it will happen exactly that way EACH time. In my experience, the pattern may be similar, but details can change so drastically that it is almost a different experience.

Most importantly, I have reached prior to this pregnancy a stage of acceptance regarding my fertility and status as a childless couple. I wish I could say to those in current pain regarding their infertility that X number of years/attempts/etc, will convert into acceptance of one's circumstances and the ability to find joy in daily life, but like most things, it is a journey one must make on one's own and the length of time depends on each person. I used to think those women on forums that wanted to try right after miscarrying were heartless. That trying to "replace" the unique life that once was, but shall not be is a discredit to its brief existence.

Now, I see it from a more practical view. Grieving is for the living, and so it must take as long as the living requires. I do grieve this loss, at the same time accepting what it cannot be. However, after 6+ years of struggling to achieve pregnancy, and more importantly, live birth, I cannot take any opportunity for granted. I have read articles that say the body is primed for pregnancy right after a miscarriage. Many doctors want women to give the body a rest, which, depending on circumstances may be very wise. I think in many situations, though, it is so the doctor can know important information regarding the second pregnancy, etc. I think with my type of miscarriage, however, chances of real issues are low.

I do want to see my doctor to eliminate the possibility of certain pregnancy conditions that could present unhealthy situations, such as ectopic or molar pregnancy. Molar pregnancy is rare, so I mostly fear ectopic, especially since I have been having some odd back/stomach pain centered on my left side.

The real torture in miscarriage, however, is not all of the above issues I have described. The torture is your body's attempts to balance out the hormones. Most women realize they are miscarrying when they have a sudden disappearance/drop of symptoms. To go from boobs so sore they cannot be touched one day to barely noticing them the next can be clear. Throw in some unusual spotting and light to medium flow, you see the writing on the wall. I think if it could be left at that, it would be a much kinder process. Except, like many things related to the female reproductive system, it is never so simple or straightforward as that. It's more like a power surge or your car running out of gas. You go from no symptoms to a sudden rush into nausea, fatigue and breast tenderness. If it were a few hours, you could write it off, but no, it lasts just long enough to sow seeds of doubt that the miscarriage is true. This then cultivates the bitterest of herbs, false hope. All of my negative pregnancy tests and logic regarding how the body works are thrown out the window when that secret, desperate part of me that grieves my loss, my infertility, clings on to this seed of doubt and says SEE! I TOLD YOU, its still possible, don't give up now!!!!!

And this is where the unknown sneaks up on you and gives credence to these pleas. I recall the various exceptions that have come across my path. The stories of women with negatives that turned out to be false, excessive bleeding early on to achieve live birth, the miracles. And why not me?

Mixed Blessing...

2014-03-27T21:37:00.002-05:00

Sooooooo....this cycle around CD8-10, I had spotting. Lately my periods all start this way: very light spotting, next day slightly heavier, then full on flow. This time, I had light spotting that never increased in flow and then it went away. This, and other symptoms, made me take a pregnancy test. On CD11 I got a positive pregnancy test!!!! Very exciting. I started calling doctors, making appointments and adjusting my meds.

I will say that this cycle I used To Conceive (a lubricant designed to stimulate a woman's ability to create a welcoming environment for sperm). I also used OPKs to track. I believe we BD on the day of my positive OPK. For vitamins I have been taking:

Kidney Tonic (herb blend provided by acupuncturist)
Wen Jing (herb blend from acupuncturist)
B-Complex (50-100 mg)
Prenatal
Magnesium

All of the vitamins I am taking are geared toward stabilizing my LP. This has proved to be my primary need as unfortunately.....I got a negative pregnancy test on 3/24 and started spotting. It has now progressed to full bleeding. Having miscarried before, I know I'm going through a natural miscarriage.

After the spotting (in which a brownish clot the size of a nickel passed), I've had a very yellowish, watery red flow. This is consistent with my last miscarriage.

The reason I titled this post "mixed blessing" is that although it is crushing to have lost another, I feel more confident in my ability to get pregnant. It also helps my acupuncturist tailor her treatments for me. She plans to get an herb mix that will assist in preventing miscarriage when I get pregnant next.

We plan to try right away. I re-supplied my CBEFM, so that we could pinpoint ovulation. Last time, using my "miscarriage bleed" as a LMP, I ovulate around CD19-22. I imagine since I have already had negative pregnancy tests, I will be able to ovulate sometime in April, if just slightly late.

New product for more effective and seamless tracking of BBT!!!!

2014-03-01T22:57:00.001-06:00

Hi all! I know it's been a really, really long since I've posted. That's mostly since my computer was having issues. But now I have a new one!

I had to get on and post because I have heard about an inventive new way to track your BBT. It's called TempDrop. I wish I could tell you all that I've learned about this amazing device, but what I can say is that instead of taking your temp after you wake, this will measure it while you sleep.

Another added feature the founder promotes is its ability to upload this data to your favorite fertility tracking app. Or if you prefer, they offer an app of their own.

Anyway, you MUST watch this totally tongue-in-cheek YouTube video they have developed. The one at the end where she's hanging out of bed to reach her thermometer is totally me! I don't know how many times I've knocked down my thermometer and am reaching around blindly, trying not to move too much and invalidate my reading.

Click the link below for the video, and check out their crowd-sourcing campaign on Indiegogo! I plan on checking it out because I really think this device should be available to women TTC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N7h2kq2UXk

What to Respect When NOT Expecting Kickstarter project

2013-11-16T00:30:00.000-06:00

How many of you have had awkward encounters with people regarding your infertility? Whether it's the "helpful" advice like "just relax", the clueless suggestions like "maybe you're not 'doing' it right" or the downright rude statements about "maybe God just doesn't want you to have children" anyone who has been trying to conceive for longer than 6 months is bound to have experienced one of these.

Sometimes the worst are the comments from people who have no idea that you are trying or how long you've been trying. As an overweight woman who happens to carry a larger percentage of her weight in her abdomen, I have had multiple encounters that go like this:

At a party:

I meet a few people, and while chatting with one new person--

Stranger: So, when are you due?

Me: Oh, I'm not pregnant, just fat.

Stranger: I'm so sorry! It's just your dress/you look like you are/I just thought

I have had many other variations, some a little more vague, but I think the worst is when someone starts with "Can I ask you something?" which is usually followed by a much more direct question "are you pregnant?" I think I hate these the most, because it is so obvious that they are unsure about whether or not I am, but disregard any instincts they might have about whether the question will hurt my feelings in favor of their burning curiosity.

As a young, single woman, these questions hurt mostly my self-esteem. As a married woman unable to conceive, it was like another stinging reminder of my failures.

One of my worst encounters was shortly after I discovered I was miscarrying. A very congenial man I met at the mailbox asked me if I was expecting. I very calmly said "not anymore." I was so angry before I encountered him, I had sworn to myself I would let the next person who asked that know how rude and insensitive it was, but he was so nice I couldn't bring myself to it.

If you have had encounters like these, and would like to contribute, follow the link to join the project. The author is also accepting submissions of stories for the book. The intention is to provide support to couples new to infertility as well as a guide for family and friends of what NOT to say to infertile couples.

I think it sounds great and can't wait for it to print.

Awesome acupuncture herbs!

2013-11-14T23:29:00.001-06:00

So, I've been going to acupuncture for a few months now. I LOVE it! I'm not going to lie, sometimes the needles hurt, but I usually feel amazing after the treatment is done.

I tried doing the real herbs, making decoctions, but I just wasn't sticking with it. I'd make them, drink one cup, but usually not get around to the rest. I finally told my acupuncturist I should stick to the herbal pills. They are these little round bb size pills--I usually take 8 per dose. She finally convinced me to try the herbs again...I don't mind the flavor as much. She may have added some to make the taste better, or maybe I just don't mind it as much.

I am hopeful we will find the best solution soon to achieve pregnancy.

Update on To Conceive Product....

2013-11-14T04:00:00.000-06:00

I have been using the ToConceive product intermittently for the last few months. My first month using it, I had what seemed to be a yeast infection or some other cause of vaginal itchiness shortly after starting. I cannot say for sure that it was the cause, I did not have problems later.

Although the product instructs to use every day, and additional use prior to baby-dancing, I have been reluctant to use past ovulation. I know this is most likely my paranoia that causes me to even be cautious with certain pain meds or almost anything that is not recommended for pregnancy though. I have mostly been using it prior to intercourse during my fertile period, so THAT could explain why it hasn't been effective up to this point.

I actually kind of like using it at first, because it's kind of tingly. I need to start using it daily again. Should I get my miracle BFP it's easy to stop.

I'll give you more updates later!

PMS from HELL!

2013-07-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

Updates on my cycle. Last cycle that started in May lasted 21 days! Not quite in the healthy range, but getting there! My last two cycles I seem to have ovulation symptoms, but no clear temporal shift. I believe the May 2013 cycle was due to inconsistent temping. This cycle, I had ONE missed temp, but it appeared to be right when I think I ovulated. I appear to have a bi-phasic pattern, but it doesn't show ovulation on FF. I think it is because the increase in my temps is barely one to two-tenths above my "pre-O" pattern. They seem to hover right in that range, with a few that spike higher.

The problem is that where I think I may have ovulated, my last BD was so far away...If on CD17, it is -3 ovulation, but with that one temp missing it is hard to say. Plus, if it is actually on CD18, we're a -4 and that's stretching it.

BUT, I'm already at CD26, with no AF! I did have some very slight spotting on CD 24/25--I though for sure AF was coming, especially with that temp dip, but then she didn't and my temp is up today. I can't help but be a bit manic in my hope that this is a positive sign. I'm obsessing like I did in the good ol' TTC days. I wonder if that could have been implantation? I've had funny twinges in my pelvis, but I can never trust those as with my IBS it is more likely gas/constipation than anything related to reproduction.

My nipples have been very hard lately. Although often they will take turns, one nipple hard as rock, the other flat as a deflated balloon. And sore to the touch. Today I just felt some burning in my left nipple. And I've had darker veins on my breasts/chest and shoulders, but that happens often.

Well, fingerscrossed this is a positive, because I've been in the darkest mood of my life the last two days and I don't think I can take it anymore!

Guest Review: Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

2013-07-12T08:59:00.001-05:00

Hello all! I've been de-anting my computer and focusing on work, so I'm very behind in updates. Today I have a guest post from a fellow blogger, Katie Moore, who writes on her blog
Moore From Katie. Katie wanted to offer my readers who may be first-time moms (or mommys-in-waiting) some tips about where you can scrimp on things for baby and what's worth it to splurge on. Reading some of her posts, I think she has an ability to expand on what most people may expect or know for mommyhood, and has several useful tips.

I definitely know many of you going through various ART treatments and with increased expenses to achieve pregnancy may appreciate a tip on how to save once your long-awaited little one arrives.

So, if you are the type of TTCer who loves to build your nursery and layette in anticipation of your little miracle, read on! If you're more like me, and like to hedge your bets, this could be a very informative article on what to splurge on when you do achieve live birth. So, fair warning, if you've just gotten a negative HPT or AF has arrived for the millionth time, maybe save this article for another day!

Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

When it comes to having a baby, outfitting a nursery is only the first step in providing your child everything he or she needs. Figuring out what you need in preparation for your little one can be a struggle, especially on your wallet! Everyone has different priorities, but by following a few tips it's possible to make sure you have what you need and where you can save a few dollars!

Save: Baby Designed Laundry Detergent

There are definitely some items that a mother may initially think she needs because of advertisements and advice from other parents that are not worth the money spent. Baby specific laundry detergent is one of these items. Many companies are trying to promote expensive detergent and claim it is gentler on a baby's skin. As long as you buy fragrance free detergents, or sensitive skin detergents, your baby's clothes should be fit for them to wear. Many of my friends even decided to go the DIY route and make their own laundry detergent. You can find many recipes online that are effective, and keep money in your wallet!

Save: Baby Clothes

Another item not to break the bank on is baby clothes. While we all want our babies to look adorable and be dressed following the latest baby trends, babies grow rapidly and clothing tends to only fit for a few weeks to a few months! Because of this rapid turnover, there are always baby clothes to be found from friends who also recently had babies. Drop in at area garage sales to try and find clothes for your little one. Shopping full-priced retail outlets can get expensive, so think cheap and score deals where you can!

Splurge: Cord Blood Banking

One of the most important things you can give your child is access to their own cord blood stem cells later in life. Banking cord blood involves collecting the blood remaining in your baby’s umbilical cord after birth and storing it in a private cord blood bank. Stem cells from cord blood are used today in certain treatments and as research continues to advance, these cells could hold the key to treating other certain illnesses. Make sure to do your research and ask your doctor about the cord blood banking.

Splurge: High Quality Camera

Another priceless gift that you can give your child is purchasing a high quality camera. Babies grow up amazingly fast and having a camera to document the growth will preserve the memories for you and allow your child to see photos of their childhood after they have grown. Buy a lightweight camera that you can carry with you anywhere so you are sure not to miss a single memorable moment with your child. Make sure that it can fit in your diaper bag and don't be shy about using it.

Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26

Natural Hypothyroidism Treatment

2013-06-30T16:57:00.002-05:00

So, last night I was trolling Pinterest, looking for fertility related stuff. I was getting kind of frustrated, because having been studying methods to address infertility for the last 5-6 years, much of the pins seemed basic.

So, I thought about looking for pins to address the specific issues I know I am struggling with. I found a very interesting pin related to how to treat hypothyroidism naturally.

Some of the claims I want to believe, but also want to check out (that we can get addicted to thyroid medication) although I'm inclined to believe. I continually struggle with knowing the dietary options that are healthy for me, and wanting to eat stuff I like. Lately, I HAVE noticed when I consume bread, SUGAR, soda, processed food, etc that I feel like junk. I guess if you are what you eat, and you eat junk food, you feel like junk.

I have been checking out a Paleo diet and I think it may fit many of my dietary needs. But that is a different post. Right now I'm addressing various natural ways of dealing with hypothryoidism.

They site I found was Healthwyze.org. They give a detailed introduction to explain the reasons to attempt natural balancing of the thyroid, why synthetic medication will lead to dependence, and then lists the various actions one can take to improve thyroid function.

There are several, but the ones I want to highlight are the actions I have been contemplating for various reasons anyway, and seem the most likely culprits to my thyroid issue.

Avoid Fluoride.

Yes, the stuff that makes toothpaste work. But fluoride is also present in most municipal tap waters as well. And yet again, Soda gets another strike against it. Apparently, even non-stick cookware leaches fluoride into food.

Coconut Oil.

The recommended method is to consume 1 tsp daily. Or it can be used as an oil/butter replacement. Of course, it is recommended to get unrefined, cold-pressed, organic coconut oil.

Absolutely no soy.

If you are thinking "that's no big deal, I'm not into tofu" better check the ingredients in your pantry. I find since soy is a common allergen, you can cheat by looking at that list of allergens on the ingredient list. But it is in a surprising number of processed foods.

Check for Iodine deficiency.

Please be clear on the process and do not consume iodine by mouth. The article suggests the 12 hour test. Place a circle of 2% Iodine on your stomach the size of a silver dollar. If the iodine stain disappears completely in 12 hours, you are NOT deficient. If it still remains, keep using this treatment until the iodine disappears in 12 hours
Also, check the Healthwyze.org article for other natural sources of iodine.

Balance your Estrogen levels.

Ensure to eat only non-organic meat and no dairy.
Follow other recommendations in the article.

Don't get overwhelmed!

Upon examination, the list of recommendations is daunting. But I am posting the ones I think most important to attempt. I'm not going to hold myself to such a high standard that if I eat one think incorrect I will see myself as barren forever. But I will remember the guidelines, and seek to correct at least one of these daily.

I hope to see a change soon!.

Acupuncture update...

2013-06-25T18:49:00.001-05:00

I've been going to acupuncture for about 2 months now. I really enjoy going, although the needles are occasionally painful, sometimes a lot, I generally feel AMAZING afterwards. As my post in April or so showed, I did start ovulating, but after awhile I was only having 15 day cycles before I had a light flow. This last cycle I dedicated to taking the herbal pill formulations and saw my cycle extend to 20 days or so. Also, very little to no spotting before hand. So, it seems I'm going in the right direction.

Also, my 5th nephew was born on Sunday! I went to see my sister with the family the last two days, and he's darling. I even took my Sis to his first newborn appt.

I also am developing a good friendship with a woman at work who offered to be my surrogate! It was so generous, but looking into the cost, it doesn't seem possible. We are just now getting more comfortable about whether we'll meet all our bills each month, but with very poor credit, I can see no way to afford the legal and IVF fees required. Also, even with a gestational surrogate, it is a difficult choice for many reasons.

I'm looking forward to what the acupuncture will hold.

My Memories Suite v4 Software Giveaway!!!

2013-04-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Just wanted to remind y'all that I have a FREE downloadable version of the My Memories Suite v4 software to giveaway. My last giveaway ended without any entries, so I am extending the giveaway for ONE MORE WEEK! If you want to learn more about it, please read my post reviewing it here.

Join the Movement...for natural fertility supplementation

2013-04-21T00:01:00.000-05:00

When my husband and I began our attempts to build our family, we had hoped it would only mean stopping birth control, and maybe a few months of concerted "scheduling" for baby-making. I feared due to my years on birth-control medication, it could take up to a year to conceive. I had wanted to be as healthy as possible pre-pregnancy, and began looking into the vitamins and supplements that would be good for me to get started in preparation.

I had even ensured I met with each of my doctors to determine what steps I would need to take to be ready for pregnancy and delivery. The last question I thought I would need to ask is about how my current medications were affecting my fertility.

As I desperately tried to pinpoint the barriers I faced to successfully ovulating, conceiving and achieving live birth, I had researched a multitude of causes for my lack of ovulation and later my miscarriage and subsequent spotting before my period. Although I found many possibilities, and I would discuss them with my OB/GYN or Primary Care Physician, it took time to establish that I have hypothyroidism, but it doesn't seem to be addressing the totality of my fertility challenges.

Along the way I have tried a multitude of vitamins and supplements to address my specific needs---Soy Isoflavones, Vitex, B Complex vitamins, Royal Jelly and many others. Currently I'm under the care of an acupuncturist; along with my treatments and herbal supplements tells me what I've known all along--I will best make changes in my health through exercise and an appropriate diet.

In any case, when I've encountered co-workers, friends, or acquaintances with lack of knowledge about trying to conceive or infertility, I do my best to share what I have learned and recommend that they start with a visit to their doctors as well as researching on their own at reputable sites such as www.resolve.org and www.americanpregnancy.org. Even if I can just make someone aware of appropriate infertility etiquette, I'll feel like I've done something for the movement of infertility awareness.

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

I'm finally ovulating again!!!

2013-04-15T22:37:00.001-05:00

I definitely know I ovulated last month. Still a really short LP, with spotting prior to my period. But, at least it is ovulation. I think I'm having one of my strongest ovulations since my depo provera shot. I can tell because I have had burning in the glands under my armpits and my breast have had a burning pain on the sides, that worsens when touched. Not very intense pain, but enough for me to notice and worsens with exercise or a lot of movement.

DH has been more randy than lately. Fingers-crossed that this means we have a solid chance this month, as I haven't prepped my thermometer to track, so I currently have no means of confirming ovulation. I'll probably know ovulation has occurred when I start spotting daily. It'll be about a week until full on flow starts---unless, something good is about to happen.

I have also been using To Conceive daily (after taking care of some vaginal imbalance), and each time we have sex. I really hope it will help his little guys make the journey to an egg that I hopefully have waiting. I will have to start my LP herbal pills tomorrow and I hope to see a change this cycle to no longer having such short LPs or the bleeding before my period.

Yesterday my SIL told my DH that she had a dream that everyone was over at our house, when DH received a call from me. I was at an ultrasound appointment to confirm that we had a heartbeat. DH then announced to his family we were expecting.

This dream sounds like foreshadowing to me for several reasons:
1. It would be just like DH to refuse to join me at our ultrasound appointment.
2. It would also be very DH for him to be unable to wait to announce to everyone and surprise them.
3. It sounds too realistic than unusual. But then, it wasn't my dream.

7 days until My Memories Software Giveaway ends!!!

2013-04-15T21:27:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to remind everyone of the My Memories Software giveaway I'm hosting! Please enter for a chance to receive a free downloadable copy of the software here http://motherhoodwanted.blogspot.com/2013/03/mymemories-suite-review-and-giveaway.html

I've been using the My Memories Software several times since I first reviewed it. I found a Pinwheel design and have made Pinwheels as good-bye gifts to my clients. In light of Child Abuse Awareness month, I thought it was fitting.

I also would love to be able to use it one day to find a creative, fun way to announce my pregnancy to friends and loved ones (if not DH). It's a pretty cool piece of software. I've been frustrated in trying to use Photoshop and I find this more user friendly. Because there are so many free kits available, it seems like there are many uses and designs available. This weekend I got a design kit for Build Your Own Pirate---so my niece and I could make pirate dolls.

Overall, it's a pretty cool software, and I'd love to reward one of my readers with a free copy to try!

MyMemories Suite Review and Giveaway

2013-03-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

I was given the opportunity to download and review My Memories Suite software and will be launching a giveaway of the software to one lucky reader!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What is MyMemories Suite? It is a digital scrapbooking software to easily create and assemble photobook albums and other beautiful layouts (like blinkies!). I am still somewhat of a novice to photo-editing software, and have found MyMemories Suite easier to use. One of the things I like is that there are hundreds of paper backgrounds, embellishments or ready-to-go themed albums that just need pictures.

Although MyMemories.com has several options for printing out bound photobooks (especially if you pick a size unlikely to fit a home printer), you are not limited to images from this software or ordering through the site to produce or share your creations. You can even choose to share them digitally in a slideshow format in a variety of ways.

There are several wonderful free kits available, and another great feature is that even after uploading an pre-loaded album or layout, you can continue to customize as you wish, changing background, colors, embellishments, text, you name it! I was a bit worried about placing photos in the pre-set boxes, but there are two options available. Double-click the photo box and move your picture to frame accordingly, OR add your photo, edit as you wish, then drag to the box. The background will turn blue and then, Voila!, photo is instantly added! One drawback to the latter method is that it will crop the photo for you, but MyMemories offers and excellent cache of YouTube tutorials from Introductions, to specific types of layouts or embellishments.

Previously, I have only done handmade card-making and scrapbooking. Part of this has been due to how much I enjoy the act of creating a handmade card, the rest to frustration each time I tried my hand at previous digital editing and creating.

BUT, if you are someone who has more experience and expertise in photo-editing, there are also options to create your album layer by layer. All-in-All, it seems a great software for beginners and experts alike. And here is a sample album I put together. I used a pre-made album (Inspire Me Purple) in honor of my nephew, Ismael, who will be turning 1 years old in May. I'm so excited by how well this went that I looked at other album's and am having relatives send pictures so I can perfect a photobook to present to his parents on his birthday.

Since the album was pre-made, most of the time I spent was on selecting photos and creating/editing text. I had given up handmade scrapbooking in the past due to the time it would take to complete a project. In the time it previously would take me to create one page, I put together these pages and 4 others.

The only challenges I have had so far, were when I was trying to edit/re-size a photo box or other item, I somehow clicked on an embellishment or other item. Thank God for the undo button! But because MyMemories has such excellent tutorials available, I don't think I'll have to muddle through alone, but could find advice or guidance there.

So, here’s some excellent news, to kick off my review, I’m hosting a giveaway, courtesy of MyMemories.com and Rafflecopter.com. Follow the directions and the winner will receive a code to download a FREE MyMemories Suite v4 program!

I’ll give y’all 4 weeks to enter before the drawing.

ToConceive Fertility Lubricant: Initial Experience

2013-03-20T22:25:00.001-05:00

I have been using the ToConceive for about 2 weeks now. I just had my period start March 7th, so I started use about 3-4 days after. You get used to the tingly feeling when applying, and I have been careful to avoid my urethra to prevent from getting a urinary tract infection. About my 2nd or 3rd day of use I started to have some cramping in my pelvis, and I wasn't sure if it was due to ToConceive. Since I've been more precise in applying, the pain has not continued. I will say that with my myriad of stomach complaints, it is possible that it was also gas pain due to IBS. I can never be completely sure if something is cramps or gas pain, although with my acupuncture diet, the IBS has been greatly improved!

I am even pleased to say that in our first baby-dancing using ToConceive, DH had no complaints. I was a bit concerned because in the past when we've used other warming types of lube he didn't care for it. There have been a few days I haven't applied it, but overall it was easy to add into my daily routine after bathing.

I might be approaching ovulation soon, as I'll be CD14 tomorrow. I need to start tracking my CM more closely to see if it may be approaching fertile stage soon. So far I've only noticed sticky, or some kind of mix between sticky/creamy.

Although I have been provided ToConceive product free of charge, I am providing my unbiased, honest opinion of the product and my experiences with it.

ToConceive Fertility Lubricant: First Impressions

2013-03-07T10:43:00.000-06:00

I have been sick since mid-February. About a week ago, I got a High on my CBEFM! Too bad it was my last stick and I didn't have the funds to buy more in time. But, just a day or two later, I got my ToConceive fertility lubricant in the mail. I had wondered why there needed to be 3 months worth bought at once; and now I have my answer!

In addition to using ToConceive when having intercourse, the woman should apply ToConceive daily after a shower/bath. ToConceive promotes the woman's natural lubrication that encourages sperm capacitation, so daily application does make sense. Also, I don't know about you, but sometimes if spontaneous love-making occurs it can be hard to put the brakes on. So, I like that if I use daily it can increase my own ability to to fertilize an egg. Of course, chances would be even greater when using ToConceive each time we had intercourse.

This may seem immature, but I had to giggle at the instructions. For daily application, one must apply a small amount to the clitoris and labia. Quite honestly, my first thoughts were that basically I'm being encouraged to masturbate daily. Which, if you think about on the woman's side, does make sense. As I have been TTC for 4+ years, I think I can be OK with this. I learned to check my cervix, which is way more yucky and difficult.

For those of you who might consider masturbation as abhorrent, it is not literally asking you to do this. You could simply apply the small amount of ToConceive and apply---remember this is a scientifically researched method, with actual results of improving a couples' chance of conception. It does have a warm, tingly feeling--the first time I used it, that feeling lasted most of the morning, but subsequent uses the tingly feeling is not as strong or as long.

For those of you who do enjoy some self-love, I don't see how it would hurt to use this as an aid--in fact external stimulation naturally promotes a woman's arousal fluids and production of cervical mucus, so I don't see the harm.

For ease of use of the product, the packaging and dispenser are high quality. Any difficulty was due partially to my own eagerness to get started, and weak wrists; I mistakenly believed that the lid was a screw top. It is not. Simply pull the silver lid off and you get one of those really great controlled dispensers. Since the amount each woman needs may vary, I would start off with a half-pump. I could see myself using a full pump, at least, for actual intercourse. But for daily use, a half-pump should be sufficient. Plus, this stuff is liquid gold! I always take the philosophy that it is easier to start with a little and add more.

Although I think I may have been close to ovulation based on my High on my CBEFM, I think I am about to get my period. I'm going to blame it on the 2 week flu. But this gives me a month to start fresh, and practice use of the ToConceive along with my acupuncture treatments.

Although I have been provided ToConceive product free of charge, I am providing my unbiased, honest opinion of the product and my experiences with it.

ToConceive: Revolutionary Fertility Lubricant

2013-03-02T00:15:00.000-06:00

Those of us that have been trying to conceive for awhile are all aware of the risks of using commercial lubricant when baby-dancing, as many major brands have some amount of spermicide or do an effective job of killing a lot of sperm before they reach the uterus. To date, there has only been one option for couples in need of lubrication during baby-making time—Pre-Seed. Since 2002, Pre-Seed has been the only viable lubricant option that will prevent sperm death while offering relief from dryness due to fertility medications and frequent intercourse.

A new lubricant for couples with infertility goes a step further than a sperm-friendly lube. Dr. Ron Thompson, an OBGYN and a leader in several infertility procedures, developed ToConceive. ToConceive not only provides a lubricant with appropriate pH balance for sperm to live, but also promotes normal sperm capacitation, which increases the likelihood that sperm will reach the ovum prepared for fertilization. This is generally something healthy, mature sperm are capable of, but a woman’s natural arousal fluid and cervical mucus can also help sperm without the ability to capacitate to do so.

With ToConceive, couples facing male infertility issues, as well as some female fertility concerns, can increase their chance to achieve conception naturally. For some couples this could mean conceiving without invasive procedures for either the man or the woman. For couples looking at ART procedures in order to conceive, ToConceive can provide a relatively inexpensive way to achieve conception that might otherwise be out of their reach.

I was very intrigued when contacted by the makers of ToConceive to review their product. When I first saw the price for a 3-month supply, I thought “Why should I buy this when I can get Pre-Seed for so much less?” But as I looked at the information of what ToConceive can do, it was clear that this product is more advanced in how it can help with fertility issues. This made the price seem more reasonable, and if it can help a couple that just needs an extra boost to their love-making to overcome their fertility obstacles, it seems worth it. Especially if you compare the cost of a 3 month supply to 1 IUI or even just injectable fertility meds.

For myself, this is appealing, because even though DH’s sperm test results showed now concerns on his end, I still am not quite sure what is happening with me that is preventing us from achieving conception. Certainly my frequent medical concerns that cause us to halt TTC or our separations have not helped. But I would welcome anything that would keep me from having to go to additional doctors or potentially have to endure an invasive procedure. I’m looking forward to getting to use ToConceive and will be reviewing it here on my blog! So, stay tuned!

CBEFM Readings--Finally got a High!

2013-03-01T08:29:00.001-06:00

So, I had just 7 sticks left for my CBEFM. And of course, I got 6 Lows, and then on Wednesday a High reading. No more sticks. No money for sticks. So, I'm depending on my BBT chart to tell me when/if ovulation occurs. On many of my CBEFM cycles, I would get 2 Highs before my Peak. However, on some cycles, I got 3-4 Highs or more before my Peak. My temps have been about the same the last 2 days. It did go up 1 tenth today. Got some baby-dancing in on Wed, and if I possibly can I am going to see if I can get some in today, as I believe I could be O-ing tomorrow or Sun. If I am right, today and tomorrow would be the best days statistically to have intercourse to ensure conception (in couples with normal fertility). This is based on my favorite research study that can be found on the New England Journal of Medicine.

So wish me luck! Although, if I don't achieve conception this month, I have a great surprise coming that should boost our efforts! But that will be tomorrow's post.