My first reaction to her list was “gee, if I post mine it would be full of ratchetness”. While it’s true that some of the music I listen to is ignorant and some other negative adjectives, it’s honestly what gets me going. Alot of popular music is filled with materialism, focusing on the wrong things, and woe-is-me-he-done-me-wrong messages that I do NOT subscribe to. I’ve stated before that the mind is like a sponge and you have to be careful about the messages you absorb over and over again.

That being said – here’s my list. Can’t say I didn’t warn you about the ratchet factor, but they’re not ALL bad.

Total Praise – Richard Smallwood

I listen to this song every morning after I’ve cleared my mind and before I meditate.

Mary Mary – Get Up

Talk about some awesome lyrics!! “What are you afraid of? Don’t you know what you’re made of…” When I first heard this song, I listened to it all the time. It’s an affirming, uplifting, feel good kind of song.

Goapele – Closer

This song is a mandatory addition to any playlist about motivation. I used it as the soundtrack to my first mind movie, and the lyrics just really inspire me to keep pushing.

Nicki Minaj – Moment 4 Life

 Hate her or love her – this girl is doing her thing. It’s a great reminder of where I’ve come from, where I am and where I’m going.

Beyonce – Upgrade U

One of the hardest working women in the music industry, yet she comes across as humble and down to earth. And I’m constantly upgrading my mindset, so this song is perfect for me.

Jill Scott – Golden

no matter what’s going on in my life, I live it like it’s golden. Because what you focus on expands, so I focus on the good and expect more goodness to come my way.

Kayne West – Stronger

What I like about this song is that Kanye talks about the power of now – “I know I got to be right now/cause I can’t wait much longer”. Yeah he’s talking about some other stuff too, but that part of they lyrics plus the beat really get me pumped.

Rick Ross – Push It

What’s your limit? How far will you allow yourself to go? This song is great for motivating you to keep going.

Rick Ross – The Boss

My goal is to be The Boss…

Lil Wayne – Money On My Mind (clean version)

message here – let’s get it! Whether that’s money, success, whatever your biggest dream is.

What songs are on your motivational playlist?

In a comment on my previous post, a reader asked:

What do you do when you are apart of a lack of support?

My only sibling is getting married to a young lady Ive watched manipulate him for years. I want to be happy for him. I want to release the ideas of him as my sidekick, and confidant. I want to let go of the disappointment of him never finishing school to take care of this woman and their child. I want to be the supportive sister I’ve always been. My gut, heart, and head are all against this marriage (its rare when everything in me votes unanimously).

I believe fear is playing the biggest part in his decision. It’s like watching him walk into a burning building, but I’m a mute with nothing around to throw at his head to catch his attention; Like he’s in autopilot. I’ve been told to mind my business by friends and family. That’s hard. He’s always been my business. I want to let go and be at peace. I don’t want to be cut off because of my opposing views. Its plaguing me. Any advise?

Thank you for submitting that question, and here’s my response:

This was a wonderful question because we often dwell on how other people aren’t there for us – but very seldom do we think about how we don’t support the people in our lives.

Ultimately, in order to release the frustration and disapproval you have for someone else’s choice, you have to allow for them to make their own decisions. You have to trust that they are fulfilling their own dreams, even if it’s in a manner that you don’t agree with. You also have to allow that people will make choices that don’t make sense to you and that their decisions don’t have to make sense to you. Your standards and outlook on life aren’t the same as theirs, and their path to happiness and joy won’t be the same as yours.

If you love someone, you support them no matter what. That doesn’t mean you have to support all of their decisions.

Just as no one has the right to dictate your life, you don’t have the right to dictate someone else’s. We are all charged with the task of making ourselves happy and not relying on others to do that, so we must stand back and give people space to do so on their own terms.

Were you faced with a similar situation to this one? How did you resolve your opposition?

Often, that is not the case.

It’s not that the people in your life don’t want to support you – they just don’t know how. They have an image of you that’s not the total picture of who you are, but for them that image is true. When you add in elements that doesn’t fit with that image – such as goals and objectives that are in conflict with the image they have of you – most people can’t adapt and be supportive.

There’s also the factor that some people don’t think what you’re doing is the right thing, or don’t share your vision for your life.

Either way, in this video I talk about how you can cope when your friends and family aren’t supportive.

Here’s a post I previously wrote, with more suggestions: Guard Your Dreams With Your Life.

Have you experienced this before? How did you deal with unsupportive loved ones?

One of my goals this year is to improve the quality and frequency that I post Youtube videos. I watched numerous videos on how to make them better, I researched different techniques and read blog posts. I even created my own mini studio in my apartment and had alot of fun constructing my own green screen.

Can you guess what happened next?

I spent sooo much time trying to make things perfect that I started neglecting everything else – this blog, my marketing efforts, reaching out on social media and networking. I was laser focused on getting the videos ‘right’ – that I let everything else fall by the wayside. In the grand scheme of life, video doesn’t matter that much. But I just couldn’t let it go. I was married to the vision in my head of how I wanted things to be and I had to literally make myself stop working on the video aspect.

Important Lesson For Me

Now that we’re living in this digital age, it’s extremely easy to get caught up in the wrong things. One of the biggest realizations I made last year was that alot of entrepreneurs are busy working on the wrong things; if it’s not a money-making activity then it needs to be outsourced or not focused on. I don’t mean that entrepreneurs need to be super focused on making money – but that does need to be the focus. If we were here to help people and weren’t concerned about being paid for our services, we’d just be volunteers. And if we weren’t here to earn enough to take care of ourselves, our businesses would just be hobbies.

Allowing myself to work on something until it matches the image in my head is dangerous. I have the cushion of a full time job now, but I won’t always have that. I can’t afford to spend so much time wrapped up in something that I neglect the other things I should be doing. The easiest way for me to get around that is to continually check in with myself and keep the objective of the task in mind. Of course I want everything I do to be performed to the best of my ability – but I also want to help people and produce great content. So if a task takes longer than I’ve anticipated, I need to ask myself what the holdup is and how can I bring the task to completion quickly.

I also need to practice my ability to release what I’m doing and be okay with things not being ‘perfect’. Because honestly, that’s something that will never exist.

Here’s the latest video I created. In the end, I didn’t get the software and green screen configuration working properly, so I had to reshoot the video. I could’ve posted it weeks ago had I let go of my perfectionism. So this was a good learning experience for me, as well as the opportunity to help others with their goals.

How does perfectionism affect you and your goals? How do you push past the urge to keep working until your task is perfect?

When did you make that decision? When did you first know you wanted to be an entrepreneur?

For me, the decision came in high school. Somewhere along the way I’d made the correlation that my parents worked very hard, but didn’t have alot of money. There was a time when my dad worked 2 jobs, but it didn’t seem to increase our finances. So I decided that in order to control the amount of money I made, I didn’t want to work for anyone else. I’d say I decided this in the 10th grade, and I majored in Business Administration during my first year of college.

My professors discouraged me from this path. Why not go work in Corporate America for at least 5 years, THEN start my own business? I couldn’t see the point in that. Managing staff for a Fortune 500 company didn’t make sense to me, when I’d probably have a very small staff and need a different set of skills than a corporate job would give me. Plus I just didn’t want to. I can’t begin to tell you how disheartening it was for me to be dissuaded from this lifelong dream, in favor of building someone else’s business.

I still think I made the right decision for me, especially in light of how business models have changed since I was in college.

When did you first know you wanted to be an entrepreneur? How has your path evolved since then? I’d love to hear your story.

I’ve been chewing on this thought for a while, and it’s finally time to express it to you.

Back in March of 2011 (man does time fly!) I decided to change the focus of this blog from a general mindset dicussion to ways in which entrepreneurs can change their mindset to reach success in their business. I wanted to align more closely with my coaching practice. I’m glad I made the decision and that I’m offering more support for women entrepreneurs to live their dreams.

The great thing about being an entrepreneur is that you have the power to craft your vision however you want to. Let me go into my job and say, “hey I decided I’m not working on these types of projects anymore. Now I’m doing that over there.” I imagine my bosses would not be pleased!

The struggle, though, with having a blog and making my own thoughts public, is to be consistent with my message. Alot of my thoughts go into writing about topics that are relevant to you and to what you’re experiencing, all while striking a balance between not being too personal and being personal enough for you to connect to my words. Ultimately, I believe that being transparent about my own journey helps you along on your journey.

Where The Road Is Taking Me

I have a few projects I’m working on for Motivated Sista that I’m really excited about. I’m also working on a few things in my personal life that are taking up alot of my time. Included on my internal list is to improve my health (by eating a healthier diet and losing weight) and to improve my love life.

For about the last 5 years, I’ve been trying different approaches to achieve varying goals at once. I believe that my happiness depends on how full my plate is – it’s hard for me to really bask in my business success, when my love life (as an example) is not where I want it to be, and vice versa. The problem comes in when it’s time to prioritze goals in order of importance. To me, they are all equally important because they are all interrelated. My health affects my mindset and performance on my goals, and the level of anxiety, stress or faith and hope I feel about my goals affects my health.

My approach to achieving my goals has evolved into one where I’m moving toward the image I’ve set of my ideal life, instead of simply having a list of things to get done and checking that list as I go. This allows more flexibility for me and for the room to change my goals as I grow as a person. As a result of me striving to attain this bigger picture, sometimes I focus on one specific thing at a time, at other times I work on a few things at once. Ultimately, if the method you currently use isn’t working, be open to experimenting and observing what works best for you.

Do You Know Where You’re Headed?

It really frustrates me when people are encouraged to be grateful by diminishing the discomfort or pain they feel about something. If I say “my car is really giving me trouble,” your response that “you should be grateful for what you have” doesn’t lessen the pain I feel when it’s time to turn my ignition. Along those same lines, don’t internalize these comments when people say them to you. If you’re like me, you’re striving for a rell-rounded, balanced life, so gratitude about achievement in one area doesn’t equate to contentment when another area isn’t on the same level.

In order to balance everything out, you must be clear about who you are and what you want. Also, it’s important to align all of your goals. If your goal is financial freedom, you can’t achieve that if goals you’ve set in other areas of your life conflict with your financial objective. You must also recognize that your focus is going to be split between multiple projects at one time. For me, it works best to work on one big thing at a time, and alternate my focus as each goal has been completed.

All of this is irrelevant, however, if fear and indecision are keeping you from stepping onto your path. The greatest journey of your life is awaiting you, and it begins with one single step toward your dreams. Start today and you’ll be pleasantly surprised on how your journey unfolds.

It seemed like almost everyone I knew experienced tragedy of some kind. Whether they were laid off, a loved one died, or they battled a health crisis, I just kept hearing of bad things happening to good people.

Do you think this year will be better? Here’s a better question – what do you plan to do to make it better?

I have big plans for 2012 and I hope you do too! Create a list of your expectations – we receive what we expect, not just what we hope or wish for! Post it near your desk so you look at it every day. Then go out and do the work to cause your expectations to come into your life.

Here are 12 expectations I have for 2012:

1. I expect greater abundance. This year, I expect the ability to quit my day job and run my coaching business full time. I’ve created a marketing plan and I will follow the plan to attract more clients.
2. I expect greater joy.
3. I expect love. I expect to attract and date wonderful men, and I expect that I’ll start a committed, romantic relationship this year. I also expect that I’ll strengthen my bonds with family and friends and to support those who are moving forward in their lives.
4. I expect fun. I expect to enjoy myself! All work and no play makes Anilia a very dull girl. I expect to do more of the things I love and enjoy.
5. I expect happiness. I expect to have time to do the small things that bring me happiness for no reason. I expect to find more of these things that I hadn’t realized before.
6. I expect good health. I expect to release unhealthy eating habits and  excess weight. I expect to gain mental clarity, better health, restful sleep and to enjoy eating healthy, unprocessed foods. I also expect to become more physically fit and to exercise daily.
7. I expect new experiences. In order to learn new things and reach greater success, I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I expect to meet new people and do different things, which will cause me to view life and the people in my world just a bit differently. I expect to have new experiences as a result.
8. I expect expanded vision. I expect to read more, expand my mindset and believe in new possibilities. I also expect to improve my mindset in the areas that need improvement.
9. I expect new relationships. From the new experiences I’ll have in 2012, I expect to gain lifelong colleagues and friends who are also high achievers and forward moving. I also expect to meet mentors who will help me reach the next level of my business success and in life.
10. I expect new perspectives. From the expansion of my mindset and social circle, I expect to learn how to look at things more efficiently. I also expect to improve my ability to think outside of the box.
11. I expect greater wealth. I expect to learn more about investing and other ways to grow financially. I expect to improve my mindset about money and attract even more into my life. I expect the new experiences and relationships I’ve formed to positively influence my wealth.
12. I expect renewal. I expect to receive enough rest and to adequately care for myself. I expect minimal illness or injury. I expect to feel refreshed and energized.

What expectations do you hold for 2012? And how can I help you realize those expectations in your life?

What I love most is the feeling of starting with a clean slate. I love selecting a new theme for the year and this year’s theme is “Hungry For Success”.

In this video, I show you how I’m using my excitement for the new year to increase my success with the goals I’ve chosen for the year.

What goals do you have for this year, and how will you use your excitement to strengthen your resolve to see them through?

You might be wondering exactly what that is. Have you ever set a big goal and immediately felt excited, invigorated and hopeful? Then, a few minutes later, you felt scared, doubtful and pessimistic? Well, my friend, you were a victim of the pretzel brain twist.

The pretzel brain twist is simply when your brain runs away with itself. You give it a problem to solve, such as how to accomplish a new goal, but it causes you to feel negatively about the goal by all the follow-up questions that result.

We are so used to trying to figure out HOW a goal will happen that we instantly talk ourselves out of accomplishing it. And in the times when you don’t ask yourself how, you can be sure that a naysayer will roll up and cause you to pretzel brain twist on yourself.

And that’s so unfair – both to you and the new goal that was about to grow.

How to Stop The Twist

First, you have to recognize the likelihood of your brain pulling a twist on you like that. Your brain is a problem-solving tool so it immediately goes to work when you give it a task. At the same time, we’ve been programmed to believe that if we don’t know HOW something’s going to happen, then we shouldn’t do it.

Let me show you that that’s not true.

How many endeavors have you begun without knowing the end result? How about college, relationships, jobs, friendships… the list goes on and on. You started with an intention – to do your best – and  your actions followed that intention based on information you gathered at the time.

So when your brain tries to bombard you with questions, get in the habit of shutting that down.

Get your feelings out on paper. Frequently it’s difficult to just shut off your thoughts once they’ve begun. Instead, take that energy and use it. You can use the questions coming up in a way to help you get further in your planning instead of blocking your progress. Write down everything that comes to mind – your worries, your questions, your fears, your perceived roadblocks and your assumptions.

For the feelings that come up, I like to cross them out and remind myself why they’re not true. For example, you could say “I know that I can accomplish this goal because I rarely fail when I put my mind to it.” Fear is just a tool your mind uses to keep you safe and in your comfort zone. Respond to it accordingly.

Lead with your faith instead of your logic. Constantly remind yourself that everything that happens isn’t up to you. Whatever religious label you fall under, use your mind to connect to the source of your faith and believe that what you desire can happen for you. Trust that good things will unfold in your life, do the best you can and watch what happens. It starts from the moment you claim what you want in your life and have faith that God/the Universe is aligning the best possible result for you.

Be okay with where you are. All great achievement starts from somewhere. Your brain may attempt to twist itself up if you feel frustrated by starting from the beginning. Part of the lessons you learn and the journey you take involves stretching and growing as a person. You can’t do that if you jump to the end of the process.

I know firsthand that this is easier said than done. But you must practice patience along with faith that your dream is coming to pass. You must also get out of your own head and take action right where you are. Even if that action is just googling information about your goal, or finding people to talk to who’ve already accomplished what you’re aiming for. If you don’t actually start, you won’t get anywhere.

Do you recognize the times when you’ve been a victim of the pretzel brain twist? How will you get out of it next time?