Motivated Sista

You Are All That Matters

Anilia — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:46:18 +0000

Don’t read this post if you want to be ordinary…

Goals, goals, goalsgoalsgoals. That’s all I’ve been talking about lately, both on this blog and in real life.

Let’s take a step back for a second.

Do you believe you will reach all of your goals?

Do you believe that you deserve every blessing, every accolade, every accomplishment and every breakthrough that’s coming your way?

Don’t just say ‘yes’. Stop and really marinate on that. I’ll be here when you get back.

(see, I’m still here.)

We are afraid of failure – what if we try and we don’t succeed? Will everyone know we’re failures? Will all those people who didn’t believe in us, who didn’t share our vision or feel our passion, stand up, thrust their fingers in our faces and say “I told you so!!”? Why do we feel like we should have more than what we already have? Why do we want to reach for more, anyway? Shouldn’t we be happy, content, satisfied with what we already have? Who are we to demand more out of life?

We are afraid of success – what happens once we reach our goals? Will we become evil rich people who have one-way tickets to hell? (Do not pass go; do not collect $200.) Will we forget where we came from? Will we morph into skinny b*tches who are evil, who are vain and self-centered? What if we can’t handle all that shiny new success? What if we get to the finish line and find that we don’t like life on the other side? What if everyone thinks we’re brand new, and don’t like the new people we’ve become?

We are afraid of leaving our comfort zones – doing all this new stuff is hard… I mean, what if we can’t do it? What if we’re not good enough? Strong enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? What if we’re too much? What if we’re not meant to be over there? What if right here is where we’re supposed to be, and we mess something up in the Universe by moving from the right spot?

We are afraid of what others think of us… we are afraid that others don’t think of us, that we won’t be noticed and we’ll live lives of quiet desperation and anonymity. We are afraid to try… we are afraid of the regret that comes from not trying… we are just simply afraid.

Where did all this fear come from?

When did being normal or ordinary become equivalent to being mediocre? Why do we put so much stock into following the crowd, when we already know that what we want is different? What we want is extraordinary, not found every day, not a cheap commodity, not lying in the road to Easyville. Our main problem isnt that we don’t know what we want, don’t know how to get there, and will never get there.

Our main problem is that we won’t allow ourselves to get there. We are the only thing holding ourselves back from success.

So what’s the problem? Why do we do that? The only answer I have for you is that: you are holding yourself back because you don’t think you are enough.

Take a minute to think about that one, too. And I don’t mind waiting again, you’re worth it.

(told you I’d still be here…)

Let’s revisit some of those questions I posed above:

what if we try and we don’t succeed? [why would you fail? Are you telling yourself that you're not good enough just the way you are?]
Will everyone know we’re failures? [will they find out the 'truth', that we're not good enough?]
Will all those people who didn’t believe in us, who didn’t share our vision or feel our passion, stand up, thrust their fingers in our faces and say “I told you so!!”? [they don't think we're good enough, will they find out that they're right?]
Why do we feel like we should have more than what we already have? [we're not good enough to have more]
Why do we want to reach for more, anyway? [we're not good enough to have more, we already have all that we deserve]
Shouldn’t we be happy, content, satisfied with what we already have? Who are we to demand more out of life? [because of course, we don't deserve more... because we're not good enough for more than what we have]
what happens once we reach our goals? Will we become evil rich people who have one-way tickets to hell? (Do not pass go; do not collect $200.) [our morals and beliefs aren't good enough to keep us grounded]
Will we forget where we came from? [will we forget that we're not good enough?]
What if we can’t handle all that shiny new success? [we're not good enough to maintain what we've achieved; we weren't good enough to get there in the first place]
doing all this new stuff is hard… I mean, what if we can’t do it? [we can't do it 'cause we're not good enough]
What if right here is where we’re supposed to be, and we mess something up in the Universe by moving from the right spot? [we better stay in our lane, we're not good enough to make demands and what not]

Now I wrote all that to show you that fear is nothing more than a tape recorder that plays in your head. Whether you pursue your dreams or not, its always going to play. Whether its playing negative messages about your goals, something you’ve already done (and can’t change) or something that hasn’t even happened yet (worrying over your chickens before they hatch), its never going to stop playing. So you can either learn to ignore your fear or succumb to it and get nowhere because of it.

My last questions for you

Now, go get a drink of water, take a break or use the bathroom. I asked alot of you and have a little more effort that I want you to give. I leave you with these questions in love, not from an attitude of superiority or condescension, but out of exasperation (somewhat). Because I read the comments that you guys leave, and I don’t think you really know how beautiful, talented, worthy that you all are. I’m not sure if you know that you were born good enough, that no one is better than you nor can anyone take anything away from you that you don’t allow them to take. Ordinary people walk around in a daze… giving their time, attention, money and energy to others, not questioning authority, willingly accepting less than what they deserve, not realizing that they are priceless… but people who know their worth, who know that riches begin in the mind, know that their reality is not what’s seen on the outside but what they see for themselves on the inside.

Answer these honestly for me. I’d love it if you answered (at least one) in the comments section, but if you don’t want to make them public, feel free to shoot me an email at Anilia[at]motivatedsista.com.

Whose opinion matters more than yours?
Why are some people deserving of wealth, health and happiness, but you’re not?
What makes rich people or happy people any different than you?
What will honestly happen if you don’t reach your goals?
More importantly, what will honestly happen if you do reach your goals?
What will be the bigger tragedy for you: if others were right that you couldn’t do it, or that you were wrong that you could?
Are any of those fears swirling around in your mind actually true??
Which emotions are stronger: your fears or your desires? Which one will you allow to have dominion in your life?

I could go on, but I won’t. At least not today. I’ll await your answers before I post about your next steps on your road to a phenomenal life.

On Days When You’re Not Feeling It

Anilia — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:15:23 +0000

I’m not feeling it today, y’all.

On most days, I’m full of energy. I’m excited, I’m motivated, I’m in a great mood, I’m optimistic and hopeful. In my mind’s eye, my dreams loom largely on the horizon.

Today I feel tired. I’m a bit down and my goals seem far away. I can’t laugh and joke as easily as I usually do. I feel disconnected from my dreams. And for today, that’s ok.

We can’t be on it every day. We’re not robots or Energizer Bunnies that can keep going and going. Sometimes we have setbacks that knock us off stride. Or sometimes our bodies, minds and spirits are not in alignment and the friction is exhibited through our emotions.

How To Recharge Your Batteries

When I feel like this, the first thing I usually do is acknowledge my emotions and how my body feels. Its ok for me to be tired, for me to have a day or two where I’m a little blue, or not as happy or optimistic. What’s not ok, though, is for me to have a prolonged period of time in this state. That means that there’s something serious going on that I need to further examine.

But its not that serious today. I usually go through several steps to get back to my motivated self:

Be nice to myself. I don’t beat myself up for not being able to work at full capacity. What I’m able to accomplish at a slower pace is enough. And if I’m not productive today, that’s ok too. I’d rather work when I’m up to it then force myself and have crappy results. Sometimes I just need a break and there’s no point in beating myself up about it. That solves absolutely nothing and in the long run being mean to myself doesn’t make me feel good.

Ask myself what’s wrong. (hey, my granny said it was only crazy if you answered yourself back… talking to yourself is ok lol) There’s usually a reason for a mood change: lack of sleep/fatigue, not eating properly, unresolved feelings after an event, mental fatigue etc. The longer I let myself sit and stew without getting to the heart of the problem, the longer it takes for me to get back on track and ultimately reach my goals.

Do something that makes me happy. If reminding myself of reasons why I should be happy don’t work, my failsafe is always laughter. I’ll watch fail videos on Youtube, head over to Failblog, Lamebook or People of Walmart. Hey, it may not be nice to laugh at others, but it makes me feel better (I’m just sayin’). Or, once I get home from work, I’ll curl up with a good book or indulge in one of my vices. That usually makes me feel better too.

Give myself some TLC. I find that alot of times, this funky mood is my mind and/or body’s way of telling me to take a break. Its much better than getting sick as a way to slow me down, so I’ve learned to listen to my body. I’ll probably take a long bubble back, turn in early and eat great meals today. If I can, I’ll squeeze in a short meditation session to give my mind a break from constantly working.

Refocus on the end result. It’s easy to feel tired and discouraged when striving for my goals, when I stop looking forward and look at where I’m currently standing. Suddenly my goals seem far away and out of focus. Instead of dwelling on where I am and how far I have to go, I do a few things to focus only on the end result. I look at my vision board to visualize myself having achieved my goals and generate the feelings of already having reached them. I’ll sometimes go back through my journal and congratulate myself on the steps I’ve taken so far. I also find it helpful to think about my why: why am I striving for these goals? What will they bring to my life, why is that important to me? How will my life change? Asking these questions definitely centers me and helps me put things into perspective.

One or two days of not being at my best is not a crime. A sense of perspective and reminding myself that its not the end of the world or my productivity is one of the best things I do for myself.

What do you usually do to recharge your batteries, when you’re not having a good day?

Swallow Your Fear Of Success

Anilia — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 00:35:06 +0000

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the expansion of his business. During our conversation, he remarked that he was feeling fearful of success.

I just smiled because I’ve sooo been there before. In fact, fear of success was one of the hardest things I had to overcome.

What Is The Fear Of Success?

When I first heard the term “fear of success”, I thought it was one of the most ludicrous things I’d ever heard of. We all want success, right? So how can someone be scared of achieving success??

At that time in my life, I was dreaming and dreaming… and some of my goals and dreams started coming true. I just couldn’t believe it; I was so happy! Then before I could savor my successes, I started experiencing failures. I couldn’t understand how I was causing those failures and what I could do to move past them. I was sabotaging myself and felt powerless to stop. I saw that I was holding myself back, but I couldn’t understand why. My dreams were right in front of me, all I had to do was keep moving toward them, yet it was like my feet were stuck in quick sand and I was slowly sinking down.

If you’ve ever experienced the fear of success, you might be familiar with what I’m talking about.

Fear of success can be a few overlapping issues:

Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes
Opposite of the fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes, losing approval or giving something your all and not being good enough to reach your goal; whereas the fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.
Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record
Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and sustain the accomplishments you have achieved
Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime
Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never be enough to sustain success
Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments–that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life

Basically, the fear of success is the fear of the unknown – what will happen once you reach the goal you’re pursuing? That grey area can cause alot of anxiety and unneeded stress.

Time To Swallow Your Fear

None of us have a crystal ball and can tell the future. If we could just tell ourselves that everything will be ok, we wouldn’t put ourselves through the fear of success anyway. The problem is, fear is an irrational emotion and its hard to just reason away. So what do you do to get past it?

There are two things you can do: instill positive beliefs in your mind through autosuggestion and visualize life once you’ve reached your goal so the unknown isn’t scary.

Instilling Positive Beliefs
A belief is simply a thought you think over and over again, so you can instill a new belief into your mind by thinking a thought until you believe it. Sounds too good to be true? Then try this: tell yourself you’re good enough just as you are and you deserve everything that’s coming to you. But don’t just say it once or twice, make a ritual out of it: like when you drink water, or check your email, or any repetitive action you take during the day. Tell yourself this at least five times a day for at least 30 days, and I guarantee you won’t feel inferior to anyone or undeserving of your success.

The key is to just let the thought run through your mind. Don’t say to yourself, “oh I don’t believe that”, because then you never will. All you’re really doing is countering that little voice in your head that says you can’t do it, you can’t hold on to it and it’s too good to be true. Don’t let your mind play tricks on you or be a hater. It’d be a shame that your fear – not your inability to succeed – is what holds you back from reaching your dreams.

Visualizing Your Success
If your fear of success is rooted in not knowing how it’ll all turn out, then give your mind knowledge of how it’ll all turn out. What’s wrong with visualizing where you’re headed? Its not as if you’re daydreaming, because you plan on backing up your vision with faith, persistence and action. Visualizing is the perfect way to iron out some of the kinks in your plan anyway. If you’re stewing over questions like “what will I do after I reach this goal?” then ask yourself what a typical day will be like, and see it play out in your mind.

One reason that visualization is so important is that it allows you to look your fear dead in the face and tell it that you’re better than fear. Its the place you can go to put yourself at ease, and no one can see your mental images but you. Plus, its just plain fun. If your goal is to become a doctor, how fun is it do imagine what your life will be like after you add the MD to your name? Just like with autosuggestion though, visualization only works with repetition. I love visualizing my goals, because I can see, hear, feel and taste how good my blessings are going to be. What’s better motivation than that?

Using these two techniques, you’ll knock out your fear of success in no time. The good thing is that, anytime that old fear comes creeping back, you’ll already know what to do to get back to your motivated, inspired self. And once you reach that place, you’re the only person who can hold you back. The sky is truly your limit and I hope you sincerely believe that.

10 Reasons To Be Happy RIGHT NOW

Anilia — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:28:17 +0000

Be happy right now because you have the option to be happy. No matter what’s going on in your life, those are just events and circumstances. Happiness starts in your mind and works its way outward.

Also, no matter what’s going on, it won’t last forever. So cherish the good things that you can be happy about, and look forward to when those unhappy times will be over.

You woke up this morning – which means you have more time to enjoy life. So instead of wasting time griping and complaining, stop sweating the small stuff and be happy!

Think back to those times when you laughed uncontrollably, loved unconditionally and believed thoroughly in the future.
Remember how good those feelings felt, and relish them in your mind.

Have your own little party. Turn on your favorite music, get up and dance, and smile just because. Be happy that you have the ability to do so and that it feels good for no reason.

Be happy because you’re alive, you’re beautiful, no one else is like you and you are always loved, whether you realize it or not. You have at least one person on this earth who always loves you…YOU!

7. Take time today to do something that makes you smile. Whether that’s watching your favorite movie, reading your favorite book, going for a walk in your favorite park, taking a long bubble bath or playing with your kids or your pet. Start with a smile and let that smile go all the way to your toes.

8. Ignore the people that are tap dancing on your nerves. Let today be all about you and feeling good. Because honestly, they don’t matter! Only you matter so cherish yourself today.

Look at your hands, your feet, your skin, and your hair; feel the strength in your legs and your arms. Smile and admire how beautiful you are. If you don’t do it, no one else will! Be happy with exactly who you are and what you’ve got. You only get one you!

Lastly, think about every last person who makes your life great. Take a few minutes and think of each person, and love them in your mind. If it weren’t for them, would you be who you are today? Be happy that you have the chance to think of them lovingly and honor what they mean to you.

Life Is Just Like Frozen Custard

Anilia — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 23:57:21 +0000

This is the best signage ever

On Sunday, I was feenin’ for some Rita’s frozen custard. I had only had Rita’s one other time this year. There was going to be a serious problem if I couldn’t get some Rita’s. I decided to make an afternoon of it and went to the location that’s about 30 minutes away. It was the perfect day for a drive and a cool snack, it wasn’t too hot and the sun was shining. Then I planned to go to Barnes & Noble afterward and do some reading on a project.

I kept imagining how cold and creamy that first taste was gonna be. I couldn’t decide what flavor ice I would get mixed in, and I thought about the other ice flavors I had already tried. I could barely sit still as I was driving, and did a little happy dance at lights because I was beside myself with happiness.

My order of happiness

When I got there, there was a line. But I wasn’t upset at all. That just gave me more time to make up my mind. Then when I got to the window to order, I sampled some flavors for my next visit. The moment that I had that Gelati in my hand was pure bliss. It looked so beautiful that I almost didn’t want to eat it. Almost… (lol)

But of course I crushed it. And just like with many things, the anticipation was greater than the actual product. That’s life though, you know? You work to get this thing that you want, and then when you get it, you enjoy it for two seconds before you’re on to something else. Kinda like a kid with their Christmas toys. He or she spends all year being naughty or nice, helps their parents decorate the house, all to rip open presents in 20 minutes and forget about their gifts by the next week.

That’s the thing, we don’t enjoy the anticipation of the end result. We tear ourselves up and make such a big deal because we don’t have what we desire, that we totally miss the experience, enjoyment and the blessing of the anticipation. How alive do you feel waiting for something that you want? Do you savor the daydreams that you have, when you imagine how your life will be like once you finally attain your goal? We might do that, but then immediately after those good-feeling thoughts, we think about how we don’t have what we want, can’t get what we want, and the obstacles to our success pop up in our minds.

When you divorce yourself from the thought that you can’t have what you want, and enjoy the pure simple thoughts about your desire — thats the vibration you need to sustain in order to attract what you want into your life. Savor those thoughts and feelings that this is what you want and the imagining of having it; how much bliss does that bring you? What type of feeling do you have inside during those moments? And why don’t you reach for that bliss more often? Do you stop and think about that?

Because thats the key for us getting what we want, of keeping that motivation going. Those thoughts about our desires that make us happy, where we enjoy the anticipation of the goal only focus on what it’ll be like when we reach that end point – those are the thoughts and feelings we need to cultivate and keep going in our minds. We’ve been conditioned to immediately ‘come back to reality’ and dwell on thoughts that don’t make us feel good – of people saying ‘no’ to us, of doors being closed, of never reaching the finish line.

The beauty of controlling your mind is realizing that you don’t have to harbor and dwell on those negative thoughts. Just like a child at Christmas, we can hope, strive for and anticipate those wonderful gifts that are waiting on us under the Christmas tree, even though we don’t know what’s under the wrapping paper. Because we’re not ever going to NOT want anything. Our suffering isn’t in the wanting, its in the reoccuring belief that we can’t have what we desire. But its that moment to moment wanting that makes life even better. Because when we stop and allow ourselves the enjoyment and appreciation of the wanting, that’s when we have a spectacular life filled with bliss.

The Scam of Unselfishness

Anilia — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 21:56:04 +0000

You’re not going to like this post very much.

You see, I’m here today to tell you that you’ve been hoodwinked. If you’re a woman, you were probably taught to be nice, to always think of others, to give unselfishly of yourself, and to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. And if you’re a man, we’ve all heard the saying that ‘nice guys finish last’. You’ve seen in your own life where you’ve been ‘too nice’, you’ve given and given and given, and you put others’ wants and needs before your own.

How is that working out for you??

I’m gonna guess probably not that well. These lessons are great ways to teach children how to interact with the world. Children by nature are very self-centered and pleasure-driven, so I can see where it is not safe or practical to raise a child that only knows how to satisfy his or her needs, without consideration of others or taking into account the consequences of their actions. But you’re not a child anymore.

You’re an adult with needs and desires of your own, and you’re probably tired of getting your feelings trampled, of others being inconsiderate toward you, of people ‘taking your kindness for weakness’. There are a few tactics you can use to get around this.

Stop Being So Nice

One thing that people don’t know about me, is that I’m not ‘nice’. Don’t get me wrong – I’m cordial, I’m respectful, and sometimes I’m considerate and sweet… but I am not nice just for the sake of being nice. With me, you have to earn the right for me to be nice to you. My definition of ‘nice’ is to go out of my way, to act how I normally wouldn’t act, to put another’s need(s) before mine, for the comfort of others. Now why would I do that to everyone? Every person you meet isn’t worthy of your niceness. Cultivate the habit of niceness only for those who deserve it from you.

I am nice to those who I’m close to, or who show that they are genuinely nice to me, without agenda or ulterior motive. And that’s the thing, I find that alot, if not most people, are not nice just because. I am not advocating that you change your personality, that you become a bitch on wheels or a jerk. What I’m saying is that you have to develop a barrier between other people and yourself, and being nice gets in the way of erecting that barrier. Its really a shame that we have to do so, but every person is not your true friend and every person doesn’t have your best interest at heart. In fact, most people put themselves first and have their own best interests at heart.

Put Yourself First

I’m not sure why putting yourself first is considered a bad thing. The way people react when you say that you put yourself first, reminds me of those safety cards on airplanes. They always have an illustration of a person putting on their own breathing mask and then assisting others. I always find it a little funny because if you fall out and can’t breathe, then you can’t possibly help someone else.

But that is what some people do. They give their time, emotions, financial assistance, and support until they’re drained, and then become frustrated and disillusioned when they have nothing left to give and the people in their lives don’t reciprocate. Honestly (and this may hurt your feelings a little bit), they have no reason to.

Let’s use a well as an example. Women usually go to a well with an empty bucket and dip out the water that they need. You never see or hear of someone going to a well with a bucket full of water and pouring it into the well. How often does someone stop and think about how much water is in a well? When the well is dry (my grandma used to say, ‘you never miss your water till your well runs dry‘… think about that for a second). And then when a well does run dry, what do people do? (I’m not a country girl so I kinda don’t know… just gonna guess here) They either find another source of water and dig a well there, or wait until the well fills back up from either rain or ground water.

You can get people to stop treating you like a bottomless well by doing two things: capping your metaphorical well of resources by either saying no to people or being unavailable. If you’re always open and available to the people in your life, you’ll drain yourself with no means of replenishing yourself. You’ll have to regenerate those resources over time, and then people will just come back, like a well that now has water.

Learn To Be Unavailable

I have a friend who is addicted to her smart phone. Its annoying sometimes because when we’re out, she’s texting or responding to emails, and frequently telling others about where she is or what she’s doing. Well how can she fully enjoy where she is and what she’s doing, if she’s not fully present in the moment?! I digress… but I often ask her why she just doesn’t answer at those times so she can fully enjoy herself. I’ve seen instances where, if she doesn’t answer immediately, people start blowing up her phone like “why aren’t you answering me?!” When you’re always available – whether it be a shoulder to cry on, financially or to communicate – people start devaluing your time. Its probably not even conscious, like not missing your water till your well is dry. If something is always there then you really don’t think about it as rare.

So sometimes take time out for yourself by being unavailable. Whatever problems or issues people need your help with will be right there when you resurface. And it’ll be even better if the person sees you’re unavailable and either figures out the solution on their own or asks someone who they don’t normally ask for help. You can use that time to work on those goals you feel like you don’t have time to work on and to refill your well of resources. Now if the person is still there, waiting for your help, sometimes you should say no so that they don’t take advantage of you and take you for granted.

Again, I don’t feel that you should change who you are at all. Just understand that its normal for a person to put themselves first – its self-preservation. Now its not right for other people to take you for granted and you have to put your foot down to prevent it from continuing. The very same people who taught you to be selfless are themselves very selfish – and will guilt you into letting them get what they want if you let them. Think about it like this too — people only call you selfish when you won’t give them something that they want, whether its time, attention, money or advice.

The best way to honor, serve and treat others well is to ensure that you’re happy, have enough resources to treat yourself well, and that you’re prosperous and reaching your own goals. When your well is full, its much easier to give from that overflow to others.

10 Reasons Lisa Price Is My She-Ro

Anilia — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 21:57:37 +0000

If you’re not familiar with Lisa Price, let me introduce you to her. She is the founder of Carol’s Daughter, a line of ‘highly natural’ (I’m quite sure what that means…) hair and skin care products. Carol’s Daughter is so popular that Halle Berry and Jada Pinkett Smith are fans. This line paved the way for targeted, quality products for African American women, at a time when we were still being ignored by the mainstream beauty industry.

Lisa price began making hair and skin care products in her kitchen as a hobby. While she worked as a writing assistant for The Cosby Show, she made her own scents and lotions, and began giving them as gifts to her friends and the cast of the show. Through her experimentation, she created a line of hair and skin care products. When the show ended in 1992, Lisa grew her business, starting out selling her products in flea markets. Carol’s Daughter became an official business in 1994.

Carol’s Daugther is named after Lisa’s mother Carol. Lisa frequently mentions how much her mother has influenced who she is as a woman, wife, mother and businesswoman. [Source]

The business began as just a mail-order operation, but in 1999 she opened the first Carol’s Daughter store in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood.

A record company executive fell in love with Carol’s Daughter and began telling others about Lisa’s products. From there, word of mouth referrals and celebrity buzz resulted in Carol’s Daughter being featured on B. Smith’s show, The View and the Oprah Winfrey Show. Essence Magazine was also an early source of publicity for Carol’s Daughter.

When asked what about Carol’s Daughter’s philosophy, Lisa said, “Every Carol’s Daughter product I create is made with love, and inspired by my own life. Each product is truly unique and created especially for my customers, who are part of the Carol’s Daughter family. The idea is not just about looking good, but feeling good inside and out, comforting your body and spirit. Carol’s Daughter is also about having a strong sense of family as well as love and respect for yourself and others.” [Source]

Carol’s Daughter is now sold in Sephora, Macy’s, many beauty salons across the nation and on the Home Shopping Network. She has 9 standalone stores and a spa, The Back Room, located in her flagship store in Brooklyn.

Lisa worked with Disney to create a line of Carol’s Daughter children’s products tied to Princess and the Frog, the first Disney movie to feature an African American princess. Carol’s Daughter’s Princess Tiana line includes bubble bath, shampoo, conditioner and detangling mist, and debuted in stores last year.

In 2000, Price was named the National Black MBA Association’s Entrepreneur of the Year and received Working Woman magazine’s Entrepreneurial Excellence award in 2001. And in 2004 she received the National Book Club Conference Terrie Williams Inspiration Award.

In addition to all her other accomplishments, Lisa is the author of a book “Success Never Smelled So Sweet,” a memoir that chronicles her transformation from a young black woman deep in debt to the president of a multi-million dollar business.

I’ll leave you with an inspiring quote that Lisa made during an interview:

“I’m not special,” she said. “I was not born with a lot of money. I’m just an average woman who listened to the universe when it told me to believe in myself. I hope that others will learn from my story and find the beauty in themselves. It is inherent in all of us.”

Are You Still Getting It In?

Anilia — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:23:04 +0000

So many of us were determined to ‘get it in in 2010′. In January, you could literally feel the excitement and enthusiasm for a new year and a new decade in the air. I started off this year by choosing a theme for the year and the principles I would work on. You can review that post here. Then, after 3 months, I reviewed my progress in this post. Continuing the analogy that I’m the CEO of Me, its now time for another quarterly review.

This review is even more important, because half of the year has passed. I had several intentions at the beginning of the year – namely to lose weight and incorporate healthy eating habits into my life, take my business and blog to the next level (two specific goals are to become my own boss and write an ebook for Motivated Sista), start a committed relationship, and improve my cooking skills.

How Far I’ve Come

Taking stock of exactly where you are, how far you’ve come and how far you still need to go is integral to your progress. How can you progress if you don’t know which direction you need to go in or what adjustments you need to make? I think this is one of the biggest reasons for failure, besides lack of self-confidence. We either don’t take action or continue to take the wrong action, and then wonder why we’re not where we really want to be.

Weight Loss and Eating Habits

The biggest change I’ve made regarding this area is a shift in mindset. Initially I wanted to improve my cooking skills and increase the frequency of how often I cook. I had a few Sunday dinner cooking experiences, where I picked some of my favorite foods and chose recipes to learn how to make those dishes better than I already knew how. (In the pic: roast chicken, mac & cheese, slow-cooked green beans and corn bread.)

It was fun for a while but then I knew I couldn’t continue to eat heavy meals and reach my weight loss goals at the same time. I also wasn’t learning how to incorporate healthy eating habits if I lost my mind on Sundays. So I switched gears and started reading up on healthy eating habits.

Then my mind flashed to a blog post I’d read over at Clumps of Mascara. I remember when Brittany first posted about green smoothies, I couldn’t imagine someone wanting to put spinach in a smoothie. In my own mind, I was working through the misconception that only ‘crunchy’ people who hugged trees and recycled would follow a vegan eating pattern. It didn’t seem like it fit who I am.

(In the pic: a pineapple mango smoothie and fruit salad: bananas, apples, mango and walnuts.) As I read more and more about eating healthy, I thought about another post she wrote about eating raw. Then, Jonathan over at Illuminated Mind did a video about eating raw.. and I had to pause. Whenever something pops up more than once in my reality, I stop and look at what that thing is. I’m glad I did. I’m already a little distrustful of the American food industry, and turns out I have reason to be. We’re not going to talk about the ways in which animals are handled and food is processed… we’re just gonna focus on the fact that this way of eating became more and more attractive to me. So I decided to take the plunge. Overall, I’m moving away from a processed, chemical-laced lifestyle (with my diet, my hair, body care products and products for the home, to name a few ways), toward a more natural, healthy way to live. I know that my family has longevity – my grandfather was 86 and my grandmother turns 105 next month – so its time I honor my genetic blessings by following a path to radiant health.

Maybe one day I’ll sit down and compose a post about my raw experiences so far (but that day ain’t today…lol). For now, I know I’ve just hit the tip of the iceberg, and have an entire transition ahead of me. In the meanwhile, I’ve been working about about 2 times a week and have lost 5 pounds. I’m switching back to a night shift at work and that should free up more of my time to work out even more.

Business and Blogging

As far as Black Girl Tees goes, I’ve been up and down. Learning to market a business online is much more tedious and nuanced than I knew when I started my store. If I knew then what I know now, I’d have learned much more about marketing, branding and social media before I took the plunge. But it is what it is. Learning as I’m growing is a great classroom and I’m learning valuable lessons from the trenches.

In May I participated in a fashion show and had a blast networking with other t-shirt entrepreneurs. You can view the rest of the pics from the show on the Facebook fan page.

I’m currently working on my first ebook and I plan on completing it in July. This book will be free, and if you’re subscribed to my mailing list you’ll receive it as thanks for following my blog. I’m really excited about it and as much as I love blogging, I think composing my thoughts in an actual book will be even more beneficial for us Motivated CEOs and Boss Ladies. I’m all about motivation and progress and I hope my ebook reflects that. So stay tuned for that. Also, I’m in the midst of launching my blog installation business, and I’ll share that when its completed.

Only time will tell how long it will be before I can fire my boss. I have a quote posted in my cubicle, from an interview that Jonathan from Illuminated Mind did over at Income Diary, that motivates me daily to continue working on my goal -

I personally believe the biggest attribution to making this happen for myself was knowing 100% without a doubt that this was going to happen. It was only a matter of time and I would do whatever it took and I would try everything that I possibly could try. I would fail over and over if that’s what needed to happen, but I knew that it was just a matter of time.

I know this is going to happen for me. One of the principles I’m following this year – increased faith – assures me that I won’t fail. It just takes time, perserverance and patience. Nothing happens overnight, there is no magic want or magic bullet to success. The most important thing is that I enjoy this journey of becoming and allow myself to expand into Who I Really Am in the process.

Relationship goal

Most of the time, I’m so busy with everything I have going on, that I don’t devote time to meeting new men and developing a relationship. My efforts so far have been limited to online dating, which isn’t a bad thing – I’d like to devote more time to dating though, as if it were a job search. Since I’m going back to working nights, I’ll have the same challenge that I previously had of attending events during the week where I’ll be around eligible men.

So far, my only solution to that is to be out and about during the day, namely by having lunch downtown before I go to work. I’m accustomed to doing alot of things alone, but eating isn’t one of them. So this is something that I’ll have to actively work on during the upcoming months, especially since its warm and scorching lovely outside right now. Just like with eating raw, I will immerse myself in information and try new things out slowly, developing a list of my likes and dislikes along the way.

My Next Steps

For the next quarter, July – September, I plan to:

continue to transition to a raw vegan diet
transition to natural hair
continue to lose weight, at least 15 pounds during that time
launch my blog installation business
revamp Black Girl Tees
meet new men and go on more dates
finish my ebook and have Motivated Sista redesigned

Whew, thats alot! I’ll be so busy but I’m anticipating it all already. What about you, what are your next steps? How has 2010 shaped up for you so far? I’m looking forward to hearing how you’re doing and I hope you share your efforts with me.

Come Drop In My Bucket

Anilia — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 21:56:49 +0000

Do you have a bucket list? I admit that I hadn’t heard of this phenomenon until the movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. One thing that’s funny about me, as much as I like to feel good, I avoid ‘feel good’ movies. To me they’re pointless because you already know the outcome of the movie. Well with most movies you do, but I’m just sayin’… you know if Denzel is doing something, at the end of the movie he’s gonna win. Where’s the suspense and anticipation in that? (Y’all know I’m special..lol..)

The gist of the movie was that these two old guys threw caution to the wind and had all these experiences that they’d been desiring their whole lives. They called their list their bucket list – their list of things to do before they kicked the bucket. What’s interesting is that their families didn’t like it… I mean Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson ain’t no spring chickens here, but that just shows you that no matter what you do folks are gonna have something to say. So you know what I say,

do you and be happy!!

I’ve been carrying around my list in my head for years, but was inspired to share it with you guys after reading Cody’s Post over at Thrilling Heroics. And I can’t share everything… I’m an introvert at heart, so sharing my bucket list is like pulling back the dressing room curtain while I’m getting dressed! LOL

It is my hope that you’ll drop a few ideas in my bucket (hence the title of this post), and if you don’t have one, to gather your thoughts and write your dreams down. Because if you don’t at least recognize that you need a map, how can you ensure that you’ll reach all the points along your destination? I’d love it if you shared yours with me, but if not that’s ok too. I just want to inspire you to continue to dream. As Les Brown says, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

So here’s my list,

50+ Adventures to Embark On Before I Kick the Bucket:

(not in a particular order)

Business

Earn at least $3,000 from online income
Grow blog subscribers to 5,000
Write a free ebook for subscribers
Help at least 5 people to achieve a major goal
Attend South by Southwest, TED and other major conferences
Organize a Motivated Sista Conference
Start a copywriting business
Start a blog installation business

Travel

Visit Port-de-Paix, Haiti, where my dad’s family is from

Image Credit

Live in Paris for a month while running my businesses

Take a trip around the world
Visit each continent at least once
Take a trip to Europe with my (future) kids
Travel on The Royal Scotsman
Have drinks in a pub in Ireland

Drive across the US in a Volkswagen hippy van

Visit the Maldives
Eat Chinese food in China
Eat Thai food in Thailand
Live abroad for a year

Image Credit

Attend the Running of the Bulls

Drive on the Autobahn
Take a tour of gothic churches (haven’t figured out which country yet)
Attend Carnival in Brazil
Attend Junkanoo in Nassau
Visit the Pyramids
Take a trip down the Nile river
Visit the Taj Mahal
Visit what’s left of the Berlin Wall

Lifestyle

Fire my boss
Buy a house
Buy my mom a house

Image Credit

Own an Audi 8

Become a raw Vegan
Go natural
Pay off my student loans by 2013

Experiences

Get a pilot’s license
Ride a motorcycle

Learn to camp

Learn to hike
Learn to ski
Become fluent in 5 languages – French, Spanish, German, Kreyol and Italian
Model in at least 3 fashion shows
Meet Oprah
Run in a 5K
Learn to sew my own clothes
Get at least 2 more tattoos
Receive the Toastmasters International Distinguished Toastmaster award
Serve as the keynote motivational speaker at a conference
Tour the White House
Publish at least one novel that reaches #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers List
Attend the World Fantasy Convention
Attend WorldCon

Learn to rock climb

Learn to play the piano
Become a licensed sommolier

Watch the sun rise on the beach

Learn to surf

I bet I left some things off… what are some of your bucket list items?What have I listed that you also want to experience? I welcome you to drop a few of your ideas in my bucket!

Guard your dreams with your life

Anilia — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:30:40 +0000

Don’t you just hate it when someone throws cold water on your dreams? When you’re really excited about the direction that you’re going in, but a well-meaning Negative Nancy tries to throw a roadblock into your path? I hate that too and I’ve fallen victim to unintentionally letting others dampen my excitement, which ultimately led to me second-guessing myself and what I really wanted. There are ways in which you can protect against that, and I’d like to share a few of them with you today.

Get On The Offensive

The most important thing to do in order to guard your dreams from outside negative attack is to get your story down pat. When you sound doubtful or confused when people ask you questions, they will be doubtful and confused about your vision. For example, if you’re in the midst of switching careers and your current job is perceived as a ‘good job’, people will wonder why you are switching and how you can leave that money behind. To prepare for the inevitable questions, work out in your mind what your response will be. If you just say “I’m following my passion”, you’ll likely sound flaky and unrealistic. But if you have a succinct, logical story about your vision you’ll fare better when questioned about what you’re doing. You could simply say “I’ve always been passionate about creating gift baskets, and I’m finally doing me and starting my own business”.

In that short statement, you’re not only saying that you’re doing something you’ve always wanted to do, but you’re also showing that you have experience doing what you’ve planned. It’s also helpful to be prepared to answer questions such as, “why would you do that in this economy?” or “that sounds pretty difficult to make a living from, how are you going to do that?”. If you don’t know, say you don’t, but be confident about it. “I”m doing my research,” or “there’s no time like the present”. What you don’t want to do is give too much information and open the door to all kinds of probing questions.

Frankly, its no one else’s business what you’re up to. Unless the person asking questions is your spouse, pays your bills or is responsible in some way for your livelihood, you don’t owe them an explanation. It may be easier on your relationship with that person to give a brief explanation, but don’t feel like you need outside approval for your decisions. You only have one life, and you are the only person capable of living it. Its great to get the support and encouragement of those we love, but they certainly don’t live their lives to please you, now do they?

Learn To Save Your Breath

You can also save yourself some grief if you know your plans will fall on deaf ears. Sometimes people ask what you’re up to, not out of a supportive curiosity but as part of a pissing contest. Don’t feel like you have to participate. If they need to compete with others in order to feel worthy or superior, that has nothing to do with you and your plans are ultimately irrelevant. You can just keep your response vague, such as “I’m not up to much,” and keep it moving. Or, if you know the person asking won’t really understand where you’re coming from, you can craft your answer in terms that will resonate with them.

Using myself as an example, my mother doesn’t really get the internet. When I told her that I found my cousins on Facebook, she doesn’t really know the difference between that and Googling someone. So when she asks me what I’m up to, I simply say I’m working on my t-shirt business and that I’m learning about other businesses I want to pursue, such as freelance writing (when its really copywriting… that’s another post lol).

Its not that I’m cutting her out, honestly I’m helping her. Does she need to know about affiliate sales, internet marketing, blogging, social media and other ways to generate income online? No she doesn’t. All she really needs to know is that I’m working toward the goal of being my own boss and that I’ve establised one business already. Everything else will just cause more questions and more confusion, when all she wants to do is know what I’m working on and have bragging rights (lol).

Keep Your Cheerleaders In Mind

You won’t be able to avoid all negative comments or Doubting Thomases. Sometimes when you discuss your dreams with people, particularly if they’re not a dreamer themselves, they will have something negative to say. It helps if you remember that some folks will be in the same spot in life, long after you’ve achieved your dreams and are working on the next ones. It also helps if you have a person or persons in mind who will help you feel better after a negative hit.

As another example, last night I was feeling frustrated about my dating prospects. My best friend reigned me in and helped me to regain focus on the big picture. And in an instant I was back to being my motivated, inspired self. But if I were stuck in those thoughts alone, I could have easily been stuck in a negative spiral that was initially caused my another person. So we all need that back up, that understands exactly what we want and knows precisely where we’re coming from when it seems like others just don’t get it.

Other Things To Keep In Mind

No matter what you say, there will be people who doubt you. And no matter what you do, there will be people who don’t see your vision and think you’re out to lunch. But those people don’t matter. The most important thing is that you’re happy and fulfilled, and pursuing your dreams does that for you in ways that trying to please others never could. Its your life, you deserve to live it how you feel is best. Its unfortunate that we have to justify our actions to others, but its best to be prepared for the inevitable and hold your head high about your choices.