It’s the road you search for when you’re bored of the usual “A to B” route and want to take the detour via the challenging and scenic “C” route.

Driving detour - our kind of road!

When taking a Driving Detour, expect thrills, spills (if you can’t drive), road kill, and dills (who insist on doing under the speed limit through the twisty sections). Also expect a lot of fun, as the route tests your skills, your nerves, your car, and, if you’re silly enough to bring the missus along, her patience!

Beautiful rolling hills, bush, and no cops!

WHERE IS IT?

Lake Morris Road is located in Cairns, Queensland, Australia.

From Cairns, head inland on Reservoir Road. Just after you leave town, take a left turn on to Lake Morris Road. Look for the signs that show the turn off to Lake Morris.

Kamikaze cyclists - faster than your average Camry!

The fun bit is about 16 kilometres long.

Taken at the speed limit, you’ll finish the route in about 20 minutes.
 

Let’s get the bad out of the way.

Lake Morris Road is very narrow with virtually no opportunities to safely overtake.

No overtaking here

At times, the road is barely wide enough for 2 cars to pass in opposite directions, let alone wide enough to safely overtake on the wrong side of the road across the broken line. Yes, tighten that sphincter if you see a big Toyota Landcruiser coming the other way with some tool holding the phone in his right hand and a Big Mac in his left!

Actually, what broken line?! Most of the route is hobbled by unbroken double what lines!

Double unbroken lines make life hard

You’ll need to watch out for the Lance Armstrong type, kamikaze cyclists, especially on the downhill section on the way out. Just like Lance, some of these crazed cyclists seem to have lost their marbles and can be faster than the average Camry or Volvo going downhill!

So if you find yourself stuck behind a caravan, a Camry, or Roseanne Barr going for a morning jog to Krispy Kremes, pull over at one of the many scenic look outs, and enjoy the amazing views as you wait for a break in the traffic.

You’ve done it before, many times.

You step off the train and head straight towards the group of people who look far too cheery for a Monday morning.

They’re handing out free samples.

The magic words - "free samples"

It doesn’t matter if it’s free shaving cream (and you’re a woman).

It doesn’t matter if it’s free tampons (and you’re a man).

It doesn’t even matter if it’s free crotch-less undies (and you’re a hermaphrodite with the piles).

All that matters is that it’s freakin’ free!

You pretend that you’re not paying attention to these corporate Santas.

You feign genuine surprise when they thrust a bottle of free deodorant your way:

“Wow! Is this for me? And it’s free? Thanks!”.

You feign the same surprise when you’ve walked around the station several times to increase your free booty:

“No, I don’t look familiar. We’ve never met. Yes, I’m sure I’m not the only blonde, midget emo in the city this morning with a lazy eye and a T-shirt that says “Good things come in small packages. But talk about my height and I’ll cut you right after I cut myself”.

You’re genuinely surprised when you boss asks you why you have 17 bottles of deodorant on your desk.

He’s just as surprised when you tell him that your co-workers stink (and for the first  time that morning, you didn’t lie).

Can never have too many free samples

WHY DO BARGAINS DRIVE US BONKERS?

There’s something about getting something for free or at a bargain price that makes us act like idiots.

The normal rules of social decorum don’t apply when bargains are on. Let us demonstrate.

Big screen TVs – the social symbol that you’ve made it.

Like men’s fixation with size, the bigger the better. However, in this game, girth doesn’t count. You want it big and you want it thin. Most of all, you want it cheap.

We wanted it cheap too. So we couldn’t believe our eyes when our local electronics speciality store that also dabbles in groceries (known as “Aldi”), was selling a huge, full high definition, flat screen LCD TV for about half the price of that poor, balding bloke who was losing millions to online e-tailers (known as Gerry Harvey).

We arrived at our local Aldi well before opening time.

The signs weren’t good. Already, a line had formed at the entrance.

Our local specialist electronics retailer aka Aldi

The pimply, work experience check out boy looked at us nervously, in the same way a thin, androgenous guy with long hair cowers in the corner of the prison shower as several large and well endowed men throw a bar of soap at his feet.

Maybe we were pre-judging humanity. Although a crowd had built up, there was jovial banter amongst strangers. People laughed at how Aldi could make money on these TVs. Men joked at how it was silly how many people had turned up just to enable some Chinese slave labourers to make 20 cents an hour.

But then the doors opened, and it was on for young and old …

THE SPANISH BULL RUN

The famed Spanish bull run has nothing on the infamous Blacktown bargain bash.

We want our flat screen TVs!

When the doors opened, it was if the starter’s pistol had fired at the 100 metre Olympic dash finals.

Men behaved like boys and shoved people out of the way.

Women behaved like men and shoulder barged their way through.

Even old people found a new lease on life as they used their shopping trolleys as makeshift battering rams – funny how you can drop your walking stick if the motivation is right.

Holographic green paint with scissor doors - for those that want to go incognito

There comes an inevitable moment in almost every man’s life.

You know that moment has arrived when the wife refuses to sit in your lime green, 2 door sports car that rides on 20 inch chrome wheels.

With a baby on the way, she politely requests (in a non-negotiable way) that it’s time to buy something “less Fast and Furious” and something “more Practical and Proper”.

Oh, and to make things just that little bit more interesting, she yells out, “Don’t go spendin’ more than 15 grand or it’s baked beans for dinner and Dutch ovens for dessert!”.

Not wanting to exacerbate the wife’s pre-natal murderous tendencies (and not being a huge fan of cooking appliances from Holland), you start scouring the car yards.

Ford XR6 turbo or Holden Commodore SS? Lots of grunt but your reactions aren’t what they used to be and you don’t want to chance it with the baby on the way. Also, it’s probably a bad idea to throw the missus the keys to a 250kw+ rear wheel drive car to pick up the kids in torrential rain, especially when she’s used to driving something like a Toyota Yaris hatch back (in pink).

Subaru WRX? No can do. It’s been ages since you’ve owned a baseball bat and cap (and you’ve never even played baseball). Besides, the missus said it has to be proper, so unless you like doing your shopping drive through style (ie. drive through the front display window), the Rexie just won’t do.

I say old chap, how about we head down to play a game of croquet in my classy chariot?

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution! Yes! That’s it! It’s practical and somewhat more proper. It will take the baby seat, a boot full of groceries, and is still fun to drive. Its all wheel drive system means that the wife can drive it without coming back from the shops as white as a ghost. Oh, and it’s turbo charged too, which means that it’s a hoot to pilot.

“Tell us the price, son!”, you ask the dealer. He says “$75k, drive away, no more to pay and we’ll even throw in 1 floor mat”. Crap! About $60k over budget!

You sit there, head buried in your hands, wondering if you’re resigned to driving a Toyota Camry until the kids are old enough to get on the dole … ummm, we mean, “find meaningful work”.

Just what do you do?!

WHAT IS IT AND HOW MUCH WILL IT SET ME BACK?

Here at Motorv8me.com, we have the answer to your prayers.

All wheel drive? Check.

4 door sedan or wagon with full sized boot? Check.

Turbo charger? Yep! 2 of them!

Are we pulling your leg?!

Next, we’ll say that it costs under 12 thousand Australian dollars and also has the Evo’s active yaw control. In fact, that is exactly what Motorv8me.com is saying!

The front view of the Galant VR-4 - not bad at all

Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear was reputed to have described this car as the “Evo’s bigger brother”. We are of course talking about the Mitsubishi Galant and Legnum VR-4! The Galant is the sedan and the Legnum is the wagon version of the VR-4.

The Legnum VR-4 - one mean looking wagon

In the VR-4, you get a 2.5 litre, twin turbo, quad cam, 24 valve V6, good for 206kw and 363nm. In short, enough for most people in most situations on the road.

In its lightest spec, a manual Galant VR-4 weighs in at about 1,460kg. A fully loaded tiptronic Legnum VR-4 is about 1,550kg.

You get a practical, 4 door sedan or wagon that seats 5, with a boot or wagon hatch that is more than big enough for weekend trips, and Mitsubishi’s famous all wheel drive system, together with the active yaw control (AYC) on most VR-4 models. AYC is a fancy gizmo that helps reduce understeer and oversteer. This just means that it assists to keep the car planted by reducing the front end from pushing on or the rear end from sliding out when you’re driving it like it’s stolen.

V6 + twin turbo + 24 valves + quad cam = fun

The added bonus is that if the wife has to drive it and she can’t work the 5 speed manual gear box, you can also get the VR-4 with a 5 speed tiptronic box, which is perfect for auto driving down Parramatta Road or doing clutchless gear changes with a flick of the gear lever through Putty Road.

Believe it or not, you get all this for under 12 thousand Aussie dollars. In fact, Motorv8me.com has seen decent examples for not much more than $10k, especially if you use an import broker to help you bring the car into Australia. Incredible value!

Looks fast - misleading looks

MotorV8me.com clearly remembers its first drive in a Type R car, the Integra DC2R.

We remember the “snick, snick” of the sweet gearbox, keeping the engine singing in the top half of the rev range.

We also remember the disappointment of getting smoked from the lights by cars like the WRX and 200sx, and then the surprise of pulling them in once the road tightened and the corners arrived – the surprise of a naturally aspirated, front wheel drive car, utterly devoid of understeer and full of character and precision.

It was then that MotorV8me.com understood the Type R spirit – balance; handling; steering precision; sharp turn in; manic vtec (yo!) scream, throttle response and control; the sum of the parts being greater than the whole; and something more than just straight line heroics. 

Looking into the rear view mirror and seeing the WRX wanting to understeer into a tree and the 200sx oversteering like it was driving on an oil slick, we realised the true meaning of the Type R badge. This was even more evident when the Integra pestered more fancied and powerful cars on the track.

A WANING SPIRIT

Over time, MotorV8me.com watched, saddened at the demise of the Type R spirit and Honda’s sports car DNA. The Prelude, Integra, CRX, NSX, S2000 – all culled from the Honda range and replaced by Toyota clones – boring and economical shopping carts.

The only car left to carry the Type R badge was the Civic R.

Knowing that the R philosophy was never about straight line speed, we didn’t flinch when we read the following on the Civic R in the February 2011 issue of Wheels magazine:

“The sound and fury doesn’t signify anything fast … it just aint that quick

If you’re not prepared for a max-commitment launch you’ll lose the traffic light Grand Prix to … anything automatic.

It needs more torque and less understeer”.

Sure, in a straight line, the Civic R was the slowest of the 11 hot hatches gathered (0-100 in 8.2 seconds, the quarter mile in 15.9 seconds, and among the slowest for in gear acceleration).

Sure, the low rev response is rubbish.

Sure, the hard ride and general lack of refinement is obvious.

Sure, it’s a flawed road car with a very narrow window of power and enjoyment.

Sure, oriental Honda fan bois buy them, put Mugen stickers on the side, fit neon lights underneath, and then go changing lanes underneath trucks in a most fast and furious manner before hitting the drive through at Bankstown Maccas.

However, all this would be excused and exonerated on the track and in the corners, right? Wrong!

ON THE WRONG TRACK

In the hands of an ex Formula BMW and Formula 3 racing driver, the Civic R, the current pinnacle of the R badge, was hammered by all and sundry on the track. Check out the lap times:

Renault Megane RS250 (184kW, 340nM, 1393kg, $46,990) – 60.7 seconds.

WRX (195kW, 343nM, 1410kg, $39,990) – 60.92 seconds.

Golf R (188kW, 330nM, 1476kg, $48,490) – 60.98 seconds.

Ford Focus RS (224kW, 440nM, 1492kg, $59,990) – 61.14 seconds.

Mini Cooper JCW (155kW, 280nM, 1130kg, $49,200) – 62.01 seconds.

VW Golf GTI (155kW, 280nM, 1380kg, $42,990) – 62.33 seconds.

Mazda3 MPS (190kW, 380nM, 1455kg, $41,915) – 62.40 seconds.

VW Polo GTI (132kW, 250nM, 1189kg, $27,790) – 62.41 seconds.

Renault Clio RS200 (148kW, 215nM, 1281kg, $39,140) – 62.47 seconds.

Citroen DS3 Dsport (115kW, 240nM, 1165kg, $35,990) – 62.80 seconds.

Civic R (148kW, 193nM, 1345kg, $39,990) – 63.40 seconds.

Stone cold, dead, motherless last!

MotorV8me.com couldn’t believe our eyes.

A car that asked for so many compromises on the road then had the nerve to offer no corresponding advantage or joy with its track performance.

A Type R car, flogged by a Citroen DS3 on the track?! What is this world coming to?!

A $40k Type R car, beaten by a $28k VW Polo on the track? The Polo was described as “quick, safe and fun … class leading ride and refinement”. A Polo, which is a much better and less compromised road car, is now also the faster track car?!

To add insult to injury, the Polo is more than 12 grand cheaper than the Civic! Hahaha

It’s my special day – just hold my hand, shut up and do as you’re told

A wedding is meant to be a celebration of 2 people.

It is the union of 2 halves to make a whole.

It is the joy of watching the ying balance the yang.

It is celebrating 2 hearts becoming one soul.

OK, enough bull sh*t!

In reality, most weddings are about 1 person – the bride!

We’ve all heard the term “bridezilla”.

We know the crazy things a bride will do to plan the day exactly as she wants it.

The groom? He’s just there to make up the numbers!

Don’t believe us? OK, let’s break down the wedding bit by bit.

The bride's dress - and she's the only one allowed to wear something that stands out

THE WEDDING ATTIRE

Most brides want that fantasy, pristine white, multi-layered, one off, designer item from the Vivienne Westwood collection.

The dress is usually adorned with hand shucked, unblemished pearls from some unspoilt region of the Mediterranean.

The veil is made from the virgin silk of finger reared silk worms, gently massaged throughout their short lives.

What does the groom get to wear?

A hired suit from the Kelly Country factory outlet! Let’s face it, most guys at a wedding can get away with anything that mildly resembles dress pants, a collared shirt and some kind of jacket.

We’re guessing that a lot of guys could turn up to their wedding wearing almost exactly what they wear at work and many wouldn’t even notice!

It’s actually a pretty similar gig to work. Just think of marriage as a 50 year job with the boss from hell, no pay rise and no early redundancy.

The groom's attire - every man and his dog attending the wedding looks the same

And yes, expect to be bullied in the workplace!

You always hear wedding guests gush:

“Wow! Isn’t the bride’s dress beautiful?!”

“Look at that veil and the way the corset top and bell dress make her look like a princess!”

What do you hear about the groom’s attire?

“He was wearing a suit, like the 128 other dudes at the wedding!”

It’s also no coincidence that brides tend to buy their wedding attires and keep them as a memory sake.

The only memory sake from a groom’s suit is the receipt from the tuxedo hire shop!

Aren’t they meant to be matching rings? Why does hers have a big ass rock on it?

THE RINGS

Hers is a pink diamond, mined by 7 year old African kids under the watchful eye of an AK-47 assault rifle.

It’s at least 2 carats and hand cut by a master jeweller.

It ticks all the “C’s” – clarity, cut, carats and COSTLY!

His is a plain ol’ ring band. No rock, no stones, no nothing.

Oh, and it was on special at Goldmark for $99.95

OK, just make sure that I’m in the shot. Don’t worry about him!

THE WEDDING VENUE

Let’s be honest here.

How often does the groom get to pick the wedding venue?

What kind of locations do you see at weddings?

It’s usually some scenic site by the water during the day.

At night, it’s a high class (meaning “expensive”) function centre.

It’s probably a good thing that the boys don’t get to pick the venue.

We’re guessing the bride won’t be too happy when her special day is held at the all you can eat buffet room at the local RSL!

THE CAKE

How many guys would intentionally choose a multi-layered, tailor designed, white frosted cake that costs more than a small used car?

The bride and groom on their special day … close enough – he’ll end up rolling in his own filth and humping my leg anyway.. and the dog’s pretty naughty too!

Not many, if any!

If it was up to the groom, it would be whipped cream topped sponge cake all round.

Either that or 2 cake mounds fashioned into the shape of a bosom, with the obligatory 2 cherries on top!

The boys might find the tittie cake, well, titillating.

However, how will it go down with the in-laws?!

THE FLOWERS

She prefers long stemmed roses, elegant water lilies, and ornate flower arrangements.

She wants dew tipped rose petals to be thrown wherever she walks.

Men? And flowers?! Enough said!

A TALE OF 2 CITIES

You’re driving in city traffic.

Aside from a grabby clutch, the car is a breeze to drive.

All the controls are light and easy to operate. The gear knob in particular, is placed high and in easy reach.

The ride is comfortable and the brakes are adequate for the short trip to the local supermarket.

The following week!

You’re driving on the highway.

You’re stuck behind a truck and indicate to overtake on the wrong side of the road.

You drop it back 3 gears but the car isn’t pulling anywhere near as hard as you want it to.

Where’s the bloody power and torque?!?!

Sweat appears on your brow and your butt cheeks clench tightly as another car quickly approaches in the opposite direction.

You just manage to pull in front of the truck as a corner approaches.

You hit the brakes hard to slow down for the corner but they barely seem to work.

You slam down through the gear box but the gear shift refuses to be hurried.

You wrench the steering wheel and the tyres screech loudly in protest.

The car barely skates through.

You will need a change of underpants at the next gas station.

WHAT IS IT AND HOW MUCH WILL IT SET ME BACK?

Which of the above 2 rides would you prefer?

In fact, MotorV8me.com experienced both situations with the one car – the Toyota Corolla Ascent hatchback.

In Australia, you’re looking at just over $20k for a new Corolla.

Body shapes are hatch and sedan.

Transmission choices are a 6 speed manual or 4 speed automatic.

In the Corolla, you have one of the world’s best selling small cars. Let’s find out why.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE? FRIDGE ON WHEELS!

Toyota has the reputation of being a very conservative and safe car manufacturer that produces uninspired and boring cars for the masses.

However, there’s a reason why the big T is the world’s largest car manufacturer – they make cars that suit the average Joe Shmoe and there are a lot of Joe Shmoe’s out there!

Nowhere is this more evident than the Corolla’s styling. It probably didn’t help the fridge analogy that our model’s colour was Kelvinator white!

The Corolla is neither pretty nor ugly. Its external appearance is conventional and conservative. There are no dramatic styling cues like in the case of the Mazda3.

The Corolla’s side profile does have a nice symmetry between the triangle edges of the head lights and the tail lights.

One nice touch is the fuel cap that is attached to the body via a plastic piece. Who would have thought that this 5 cent piece of plastic could be so simple and effective at making sure you don’t forget the fuel cap at the servo!

The Corolla’s 15 inch wheels look small and come with those el cheapo plastic wheel covers you can find at your local Repco on special for $9.99 a set.

MotorV8me.com has seen some nice looking Levin and Sportivo spec Corollas with body kits, bigger wheels and spoilers. However, in base Ascent spec, the styling could put an Attention Deficit Disorder sufferer to sleep in no time!

WHAT ABOUT THE INSIDE?

The Corolla’s interior reflects its price – cheap, basic but functional.

In particular, some of the instrument dials look particularly nasty. Cue the tacho and speedo display, which look like stickers that have been glued to the dash front.

The dash isn’t very well thought through as it reflects bright sunlight right back at the front seat occupants. If you’re wondering why so many Corolla drivers are wearing sunnies, it aint because they’re too cool for school – it’s because it’s bloody bright up front!

The driver’s arm rest is too low to rest your arm for any long period of time.
After a while behind the steering wheel, you’ll come out lop sided like the Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Twin air bags are standard.

Oddly for a car built in this turn of the century, you only get power windows upfront.
Rear passengers are left to do their own wrist work. Tight arse Toyota strikes again!

Although the 60/40 split rear seats fold down, with them up, there’s only 283 litres in the boot. Thumbs up to Toyota though for providing a full-sized spare tyre.

MotorV8me.com’s other complaint is that the horn is akin to a yelping puppy – it’s not loud or intimidating enough! When someone pulled out in front of us causing us to brake suddenly,
we slammed the horn, only for the other driver to look around stupidly, as though he heard a mouse squeaking in his car!

On the upside, most of the dials are intuitive and easy to use – even retards will have no problem getting the air con going!

Either the Stig is looking cross or he really needs to go to the toilet

WHO IS THE STIG? WHO GIVES A FIG?

Some say that he had no heart beat.

Instead, his chest revs up and down with each breath.

Others say that when he passes wind, people complain of
a strong petrol smell in the room.

However, still others say that he can’t read a contract, especially the words:

“confidentiality”; “non-disclosure agreement”; and

“legally enforceable injunction”.

One thing we do know is that he’s … Ben Collins.

I can’t cross my legs because of my solid iron balls of steel

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE STIG AND WHAT DOES HE DO?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last decade or so, you would have heard of Top Gear’s tame racing driver, the Stig.

The Stig is a machine built for one purpose and that is to drive ridiculously fast.

The Stig does not talk.

The Stig does not sleep.

The Stig does not brush his teeth, which is a more plausible explanation as to why he never takes his helmet off.

In short, the Stig is an automated driving machine that hurls cars around the road with no regard for his own safety.

Think of the Stig as an extremely talented driver with a P plater attitude and a Subaru WRX ram raider’s solid iron balls of steel.

Hmmm ... uglier with the helmet off. Better put it back on.

THE STIG’S BEEN OUTED

No, the Stig doesn’t jump out of his white racing suit at night and slip into a black, studded number whilst wearing a gimp mask.

Instead, according to recent reports, the Stig has been outed as professional racing driver, Ben Collins.

Yes, MotorV8me.com knows what you’re thinking – Ben who?!

That’s right. On 1 September 2010, the BBC was refused an injunction to stop the Stig’s identity being revealed in Ben’s autobiography.

Sexy time Stig style – show me the money baby!

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Apparently, Ben was getting tired of Top Gear’s other hosts, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May, hogging all the lime light and cashing in on their fame.

Whilst Clarkson, Hammond and May were making squillions from hosting Top Gear and other shows, poor Ben was reputedly being paid “only” $10,000 (GBP) per episode to drive some of the most exotic machinery to appear in a teenage boy’s motoring wet dream.

We’re talking Ferraris, Lamborghinis, even the Bugatti Veyron and an F1 racing car.

Poor Ben. We’d gladly take this low brow job off him, even if it means having to go down to only one diamond encrusted back scratcher.

Actually, scratch that! We’d happily drive the Bugatti Veyron for free!

You know, the kind of annoying, frustrating, hair tearing stupidity that you see on the road.

It’s the kind of incredibly silly driving that the police seem to ignore as they focus on the war on speed but forget about the battle on bone headed driving.

It's only a truck

IT’S ONLY A TRUCK!!!

Let’s set the scene for our first dodgy driving deed – it’s only a truck!!!

You’re in the right lane of a 2 lane road with a 70klm/h speed limit.

In both lanes, traffic is crawling at 40klm/h behind a long line of cars and you wonder what the hold up is.

When the road straightens, you see why everyone is going so slow.

There’s a truck in the left lane holding up traffic behind it. However, in the right lane, just behind the truck, is a Nissan Micra refusing to overtake the truck. In front of the Micra is miles and miles of clear road.

Nissan Micra – apparently allergic to trucks

The (female) driver of the Nissan Micra is going just as slow as the truck and creating a bottle neck – no one can pass the truck because the Micra is blocking the right lane and no one can overtake from the left lane because she’s in the right lane and just behind the truck, so there’s not enough room to cut in front of her.

The Micra has some irrational fear that if she tries to overtake, she’ll get squashed.

“For fark’s sake!!! It’s only a truck!!! Overtake it, you crazy woman!!”, you yell from inside your car!

She continues at exactly the truck’s slow speed and just behind the truck.

The truck stops at a red light and the Micra cautiously inches next to it, almost touching the median strip and leaving a massive metre gap next to the truck in the next lane.

What happens when no one overtakes - lots of cranky tailgaters

You’re stuck behind the Micra but think “When the lights go green, she should accelerate faster than the truck and I’ll then be able to overtake in front of the truck”.

Famous last words.

Lights go green and the truck slowly eases away from the line in the left lane.

The Micra purposely waits for the truck to go first and then maintains exactly the same speed and distance in the right lane, blocking anyone from overtaking.

“Bloody hell woman!!! It’s only a truck!!! IT’S ONLY A TRUCK!!!”.

By now, you’re tearing your hair out, eyes startled with rage and snot streaming down your nose.

Argh! Just overtake!

What do you do?

If you tail gate the Micra, that’s an offence.

If you use your horn, that’s an offence (you’re apparently only meant to beep to warn other drivers of impending danger, not of their own ignorant stupidity).

If you force her off the road, drag her out of her car, yell at her that it’s only a truck and then slash her tyres, we’re guessing that too may also be an offence.

MotorV8me.com recently experienced first hand the kind of danger and frustration that occurs when people forget that it’s only a truck.

On a single lane in the country side with a 100klm/h speed limit, MotorV8me.com was enjoying a nice, leisurely Sunday drive through some beautiful Australian bushland.

See, it's not that hard

For some reason, we caught up with a line of traffic doing 50klm/h in the 100klm/h zone.

After following this procession for some time and overtaking one car at a time when the conditions allowed,
MotorV8me.com finally saw the reason for the slow traffic – ahead was a semi-trailer trying to negotiate some of the tricky bends.

The only problem was that the car following the semi-trailer forgot that it’s only a truck.

Let’s call this car “Mr Slow Poke”.

Mr Slow Poke refused to overtake the truck on the wrong side of the road, which was allowed due to the broken single line.

Don't be a pussy - just overtake this (and pray!)

Adding to the drama was the fact that Mr Slow Poke left a big gap behind the semi, making it difficult and dangerous to overtake both Mr Slow Poke and the semi-trailer in one go.

MotorV8me.com’s prayers were answered when the single lane opened up with an overtaking lane.

The overtaking lane was not very long and later down the road, merged back into a single lane.

Mr Slow Poke was behind the semi-trailer and indicated to go in the overtaking lane and started accelerating quickly.

MotorV8me.com reasonably assumed that Mr Slow Poke was going to overtake the semi-trailer.

As the overtaking lane ended very soon, we dropped it back a gear and followed Mr Slow Poke in the overtaking lane with great urgency (otherwise, there wouldn’t be enough room to overtake the semi-trailer and we’d be stuck behind it when the overtaking lane ended).

People end up doing stupid things when no one overtakes

So, Mr Slow Poke is going for it and we’re following him closely. What does he do?

He speeds right up but when he reaches the semi-trailer (who is in the left lane), Mr Slow Poke slams the brakes!

Of course, we’re very close behind Mr Slow Poke.

So basically, Mr Slow Poke was in the overtaking lane but wasn’t overtaking!

We had to hit the brakes hard, with the tyres screeching and the ABS kicking in. Behind us, we saw other cars similarly getting out of shape as they also had to suddenly brake.

Luckily, MotorV8me.com was able to stop in time and as the overtaking lane ended, both Mr Slow Poke and MotorV8me.com were again stuck behind the semi-trailer.

It is semi car review crossed with a blog, like a mongrel dog. It’s peppered with funny articles too. Like the issue I have with old people, to why I think fatty steaks are a health food.

Unconventional, unbiased and unswayed by car manufacturers, we tell it like it is. If it’s a turd, no amount of polishing will turn it into a diamond. Even if you roll it in glitter.

You’ll also see some articles about women. Lucky for me my missus doesn’t care about my car blog – phew! *Wipes sweat off brow, looks behind to see if she’s in the room.*

So relax, grab a beer and flip through MotorV8me for tips, advice and a good laugh.