Mount Athos

2008-11-23T10:54:00.002-06:00

Sorry about the midseason break, I meant to do picks last week but was preoccupied by attending the Bears beatdown last week. Considering the last time I went to Lambeau I saw the Vikings get taken to the woodshed, I think I see a trend here: Lucas Attendance = Packers landslide. Pay attention, Mark Murphy.

CIN at PIT: Nobody cares if I cheat, right? PIT.

PHI at BAL: I could make a "Donovan McNabb overtime" joke here, but instead I'll make fun of Joe Flacco's appearance. You are one gangly guy, Joe. Haw haw. PHI.

BUF at KC: Ok, I want to know who told Trent Edwards he was playing way over his head, because they broke his brain, apparently. BUF.

CHI at STL: As much as I can wish for a Rams win, it ain't gonna happen. CHI.

NYJ at TEN: Seems like a logical spot for the Titans to get their first loss, but I don't see it. TEN.

NE at MIA: Come on Miami, it's time: Ronne Brown = Full Time QB, Chad Pennington = Full Time Receiver. MIA.

MIN at JAC: Lisa and I can actually root together on this one. JAC.

SF at DAL: Dallas didn't win last week, Washington lost. Lets not get ahead of ourselves, Cowboys fans. DAL.

OAK at DEN: Was this a rivalry at some point? Several centuries ago? DEN.

CAR at ATL: No doubt, one of these two teams will win the AFC South (sorry Bucs) CAR.

NYG at ARI: Measuring stick time for the Cards. Let's go with the upset special. ARI.

WAS at SEA: GIDCAOTW. No pick.

IND at SD: The Chargers are on the edge, and Indy actually isn't as good as its record. SD.

GB at NO: A worrisome game, but one that must be won. GB.

2008-11-02T10:52:00.004-06:00

Sorry these are a bit later than usual, I sort of lost track of time last night playing Fable 2...

NYJ at BUF: Thanks a lot Buffalo, you've completely gone in the tank since I called you an AFC favorite. However, I think a certain #4 will help you guys out this week. BUF.

DET at CHI: I almost thought upset special here, but that would go against my #1 all time rule, "Never Pick Detroit in an Upset Special." CHI.

JAC at CIN: We're going to have to do away with the Bengals Implosion Threat Meter, because the implosion has already happened. JAC.

BAL at CLE: I'm just going to stop picking games involving the Browns at this point, it's impossible to get a read on them.

TB at KC: Kansas City, you blew your chance to pick up Fumbles McCulpepper! TB.

HOU at MIN: Ok, here's an upset special I can feel good about. HOU.

ARI at STL: St. Louis certainly has the smoke & mirrors thing going on right now. That isn't necessarily a compliment. STL.

GB at TEN: The titans aren't going to go 16-0, it might as well stop now. GB.

MIA at DEN: The Broncos continue on their merry way to being first round playoff cannon fodder. DEN.

DAL at NYG: Blah blah blah blah Cowboys Cowboys blah Cowboys. Ok, ESPN, I've just shown I meet your criteria for an NFL analyst, give me a job already. NYG.

ATL at OAK: Oh jeez, GIDCAOTW. ATL.

PHI at SEA: Sorry Seahawks fans, last week was just an aberration. Also, Seahawks fans, do you exist? PHI.

NE at IND: Not exactly what you were hoping for when you grabbed this one, huh, NBC? NE.

PIT at WAS: Do the Steelers ever play during the day? PIT.

2008-10-25T20:32:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time since I've done 4-word picks, so let's give it a go...

OAK at BAL: Al Davis is Death. BAL.

ARI at CAR: Sorry, you're both pretenders. CAR.

TB at DAL: In your face, Cowboys. TB.

WAS at DET: No Millen, still bad. WAS.

BUF at MIA: Your new AFC favorite. BUF.

STL at NE: It's been fun, Rams. NE.

SD at NO: New Orleans isn't good. SD.

KC at NYJ: Screw you, Mr. Favre. NYJ.

ATL at PHI: Atlanta returns to earth. PHI.

CLE at JAC: What the hell, Cleveland? JAC.

CIN at HOU: Hey, it's the GIDCAOTW! HOU.

NYG at PIT: Won't meet the hype. NYG.

SEA at SF: Seattle is really terrible. SF.

IND at TEN: Titans clinch AFC south. TEN.

2008-10-18T20:37:00.003-05:00

The Packers are winning again, so I'm picking again...

SD at BUF: Am I crazy for considering Buffalo the AFC championship favorite if they win this game? Yes, probably. SD.

NO at CAR: Someone undeserving is going to win the NFC south again this year, but hey, at least it's not the NFC west. CAR.

MIN at CHI: The Falcons' 11-second drive against Chicago was the greatest Nelsonesque "Haw-haw" moment of the year so far. CHI.

PIT at CIN: Bengals Implosion Threat Level: Neon Pink (near critical mass). PIT.

TEN at KC: At this point, you're looking at Kansas City and wondering to yourself, "how on earth did they get a win this year?" TEN.

BAL at MIA: I think Baltimore has been doing it with smoke and mirrors so far this year, and last week's beatdown by the Colts was just the beginning. MIA.

SF at NYG: I hate to keep harping on J.T. O'Sullivan, but it's just too easy to pass up. I don't like his chances against the Giants' blitz packages. NYG.

DAL at STL: Just sit down and take your medicine like a man, Jerry Jones. DAL.

DET at HOU: Do you remember the draft a few years ago where everyone in the media absolutely loved Matt Millen's picks of Roy Williams and Kevin Jones, 1-2? A+ "grades" across the board. I don't think I have to say anything more. HOU.

IND at GB: Bad Peyton, I really need you to show up for this one. GB.

NYJ at OAK: Speaking of the media, how much of a froth do you think they'll work up this week after Favre destroys the hopeless Raiders and leads the big-market Jets to a *gasp* winning record? NYJ.

CLE at WAS: This game wins the award for "best matchup of hard-to-assess teams with non-distinctive color palettes" CLE. Upset special.

SEA at TB: Having fun in your lame-duck season, Mr. Holmgren? TB.

DEN at NE: The matchup of the two coaches I hate the most. Denver's not good, but the Patriots seem to be worse than anyone thought possible. DEN.

2008-10-11T20:36:00.002-05:00

Sorry folks, no picks this week. Once again, forces have conspired to down the Badgers, Brewers, Packers, and (soon) Bucks, causing me to avert my eyes from the train wreck that is Wisconsin sports right now. Plus I've just finished about ten consecutive hours of painting our basement, and I want to lie down for a few weeks now.

However, because I don't want any reader to walk away empty handed I offer this quick suggestion: if you're paying any attention to the upcoming election, this statistics-heavy wonder-site by the Baseball Prospectus Guy should be on your daily rounds.

2008-10-04T18:30:00.002-05:00

Because the Brewers made the playoffs and gave me one positive sporting-related event to dwell on during the past week, I need to hold up my end of the bargain by getting back to the football-pickin' business.

TEN at BAL: It's pretty hard to imagine this Titans team being better than the early 00's McNair-led squads. McNair was undoubtedly superior to the early 00's Kerry Collins, who was undoubtedly superior to the late 00's Kerry Collins. Upset special. BAL.

KC at CAR: Well, Kansas City, at least you have the Royals... oh wait, never mind. CAR.

CHI at DET: If you're a solid GM candidate, is there any way you're stepping into the mess in Detroit if they ask you to stop by for an interview? I'm guessing not. Another former broadcaster, perhaps? What's Pat Summerall doing these days? CHI.

ATL at GB: Please, please, please - I don't want to see Matt Flynn. GB.

IND at HOU: It's games like these that will keep Indy in the playoff race, somehow. IND.

SD at MIA: Is anyone going to pay any attention to the dolphins now that they've fulfilled their destiny and played their one competent game against the Pats? SD.

SEA at NYG: Don't stop believing, little Matt Hasselbeck, you'll grow up to be a successful woman some day. NYG.

WAS at PHI: Ok, I have to admit I no longer have any idea what's up with the NFC east. I guess I'll pick the Eagles because I like birds more than ethnic stereotypes. PHI.

TB at DEN: Tampa gets its comeuppance this week, while Denver will have to wait another game or two. DEN.

BUF at ARI: Really, Arizona, what the hell just happened last week?!?!? BUF.

CIN at DAL: This is gonna get ugly, part II. DAL.

NE at SF: The equation is pretty simple in this match up: the winner is probably a borderline playoff contender, the loser probably isn't. NE.

PIT at JAC: Does Jacksonville have enough to keep their season afloat? For right now they do, against an equally beat-up Steelers squad. JAC.

MIN at NO: I just like picking against the Vikings. NO.

2008-09-27T18:09:00.003-05:00

I saw this quote recently and had to share:

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future. - Niels Bohr

Doing picks, especially at a point when every team you care about has lost their last game, is a tough task. And because I'm running unopposed, there aren't any obligations to fill. So I'm going to take a pass this week. If anything in the sporting world goes right by this time next week, I'll be back in business, so I'll see you soon, hopefully.

2008-09-21T09:31:00.002-05:00

It appears my competition has silently bowed out this year, without so much as a goodbye, perhaps in tacit admission my of my insurmountable and permanent superiority in picking football games. Unfortunately, the football gods, no doubt angered at this turn of events, struck down the quarterback of his favorite team, in a fully-justified retaliatory action.

I'll continue making picks this year but it's possible I might miss a week here or there with no one else running in the race. My enthusiasm for doing these is directly related to how the Packers are doing, and they're doing well right now, so let's get down to business.

KC at ATL: GIDCAOTW right off the bat. ATL.

OAK at BUF: Even before last week, it should have been clear that Buffalo, not the Jets, are the Patriots' real competition in the AFC East. BUF.

TB at CHI: I cannot believe that the Bears are an over-.500 team, and this is the kind of game under-.500 teams should lose. TB.

CAR at MIN: Yes, the Vikings need this game much much more than Carolina, but what have they done in the first two to make anyone, let alone someone with extreme anti-Vikings prejudice, pick them? CAR.

MIA at NE: And the Patriots' cruise through their minor-league-grade schedule continues. NE.

CIN at NYG: BITL: Raw Sienna (approaching critical) NYG.

HOU at TEN: I can't believe I'm doing this, considering what happened the last time the Texans tried to play football a few weeks back, but I have nothing to lose this year. Upset Special. HOU.

ARI at WAS: Washington is the worst team in the NFC east. Arizona may actually be the best team in the NFC west. That means Arizona will win, right? ....Right? ARI.

NO at DEN: Oooh, lets all fawn over Mike Shanahan a little bit more - we have no dignity left anyway. Right, ESPN? DEN.

DET at SF: Has J.T. O'Sullivan suddenly become competent? Doubtful. But he'll put up competent numbers against the hopeless Lions. SF.

STL at SEA: Late breaking news: The Seahawks have re-signed Brian Blades and Mike Pritchard. SEA.

CLE at BAL: This game will be worse than boring, it'll be boring-and-a-half. BAL.

JAC at IND: Who would have looked at this matchup a few weeks ago and said, "this is the only way one of these teams get a win this week"? JAC.

PIT at PHI: Possible super-bowl matchup? Pit-possibly. Phi-impossibly. PIT.

DAL at GB: I have the same feeling about this game as the week 1 vikings game, so we'll see how it goes... GB.

NYJ at SD: This is gonna get ugly. SD.

2008-09-14T10:14:00.002-05:00

CHI at CAR: If Matt Forte has another good game, he's well on the path to being this year's Adrian Peterson - and of course, I'm not speaking in terms of talent, just hype. CHI.

TEN at CIN: The obvious joke here is that Vince Young is reaching a craziness level that would make him a perfect fit on the Bengals - so I'll use it. BITL: Lemon Yellow (medium but rising) TEN.

GB at DET: The Packers are really dinged up right now, but c'mon... GB.

BUF at JAC: I mentioned last week I had a bad feeling about the Jags this year, and it was confirmed big-time. Suddenly this looks like a 6-win team. Upset Special. BUF.

OAK at KC: I wish you could have seen my facial reaction when I saw this matchup. Imagine biting into a pickled lemon. KC.

IND at MIN: Minnesota will probably win here, because Indy's defense has reverted to their pre-2006 playoffs form, but it's going to take more than a likely victory for me to actually predict the Vikings will win. IND.

NYG at STL: Ok, so the Giants may not be toast this year. But imagining more than 10 wins is pretty hard too. About as hard as imagining more than 3 wins for the Rams. Tim Tebow lottery, here we come! NYG.

NO at WAS: For all the positive vibes coming out of New Orleans last week, the one that made me happiest was the strong fantasy performance of Reggie Bush, who I had instantly regretted drafting the prior week. NO.

SF at SEA: I hate you, NFC west, for wasting my time 17 weeks a year. SEA.

ATL at TB: No, Atlanta, you won't be winning much this year, but I hope you enjoyed last week. TB.

MIA at ARI: GIDCAOTW. ARI.

SD at DEN: Let's see what Denver does against a real team before making any judgments, ok? SD.

NE at NYJ: With the Patriots' surrounding cast, even say, Jeff George, should be able to put up 15-20 TDs (albeit with 30-35 interceptions). NE.

PIT at CLE: Speaking of the Patriots, the Steelers better be paying attention, because they just got the opportunity of a lifetime. PIT.

PHI at DAL: Good Samaritan Tony Romo will save some lady's baby off a nearby set of railroad tracks during halftime. DAL.

2008-09-03T21:17:00.003-05:00

Well, it's time to fire up the ol' football-pickin' machine again, and it's nice to see that this season already has plenty to talk about. I'm speaking, of course, about this year's version of spygate, duffelgate. Please see this google screenshot as proof I coined the term. Last year we had to wait until after week one to start talking about the season's big issue, this year we got a one-week head start. Hooray!

WAS at NYG: I can't stay mad at the Giants for beating the Pack at Lambeau last year, because I'm convinced the Pats would have mopped the floor with GB in the super bowl, and I would take a Pats championship game loss over a Packers champion ship game loss (to the Pats) any day.

DET at ATL: Almost went upset special but I couldn't pick a team where I actually have no idea who the coach is. DET.

CIN at BAL: This year I'll provide a homeland-security-style Bengals Implosion Threat Level (BITL) for each of their games. We start out at BITL: Salmon (moderately low). BAL.

SEA at BUF: Wild, crazy, prediction: Seattle will finish about 10-6 and exit in the second round of the playoffs. Also, Matt Hasselbeck will continue to act like he's not a balding, annoying, pipsqueak. SEA.

NYJ at MIA: Aw, noodle-armed Chad Pennington doesn't have a starting job at the moment. What Jet shall I then make fun of? I'll make my decision after this week. NYJ.

KC at NE: The Pats will be worse than last year, and so will the Chiefs. NE.

TB at NO: Somebody has to win the NFC south, and it might as well be the Saints again. NO.

STL at PHI: Does anyone outside of Philly still consider the Eagles a super bowl contender? Because everyone inside Philly does, for some reason. PHI.

HOU at PIT: Seems like a decent candidate for GIDCAOTW. PIT.

JAC at TEN: The Jags look like a team on the upswing, but I'm starting to get a 2006 Bengals vibe from them. TEN.

DAL at CLE: One thing I don't understand is why everyone thinks the cowboys will be even better than they were last year. But then again, I'm not a blowhard ex-jock with an extensive concussion history and freedom to speak whatever wanders across my wasteland of a mind on national TV. Upset Special. CLE.

CAR at SD: Phil Rivers is quickly becoming the quarterback who most annoys me, but I have to admit, if the Chargers didn't lose their QB and RB at the most inopportune time possible last year, they probably are super bowl champions right now. SD.

ARI at SF: J.T. O'Sullivan. ARI.

CHI at IND: Wow, two teams that have similar personnel to what they had a couple years ago in the superbowl, ...and yet, the Colts are expecting to be a top team in the AFC once again, while the Bears have to be realistically aiming for about 6 wins. IND.

MIN at GB: I have no idea what will happen to the Packers this year, and I have a bad feeling about this one (despite the horrific over-ration of the Vikings, this year's stupid national media darling). GB.

DEN at OAK: Do not let people who were born before the Spanish-American war run a team in 2008 - is that clear by now??? DEN.

2008-07-12T16:36:00.001-05:00

Shockingly, the Jeromy Burnitz impression is not really overdone

and if you're wondering: yes, the guy is doing every team

2008-06-08T14:00:00.003-05:00

No explanation...

2008-05-28T21:46:00.001-05:00

Two posts in two days, I must have something important to say ... and I do, tooting my horn thusly:

The Simpsons Softball Quiz

Score: 100% (9 out of 9)

2008-05-27T20:10:00.003-05:00

I've been roused from my lengthy slumber to send this important message: If the words "Oregon Trail" immediately conjure up childhood memories of boldly fording rivers, buying 999 boxes of bullets at Matt's General Store, and watching your family members succumb to snakebite one by one, you need to go to virutualapple.org and re-live the experience right now. And if you die prematurely (you will), there are 1200+ other Apple II games on the site ready to kill your valuable time. Just go already, Woz wants you to.

2008-03-19T17:10:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I'll admit that I dropped the ball on "The Hattys" this year, but this is mainly due to me also forgetting about the oh-so-forgettable Oscars. That, and me not really watching any new movies this past year. However, I can recall going to the theater just once, to see Ratatouille, and it was enough for me to crown the champion right then and there, as a chef's toque serves as a critical element in the main plot point of the film. So, congratulations to Ratatouille, the first animated film to garner the prestigious honor of Most Hat-Centric Movie of the Year.

Now, you may notice that this years rundown is a bit shorter than normal, and that's due to me devoting my time to creating something that will benefit all of humanity. We're talking, of course, about the internet's only Hat Identification Chart. You may recall me complaining about the non-existence of this item last year, and a few weeks ago I finally decided to do something about it. I also put a handy-dandy link to it on the sidebar, just for easy access.

Enjoy.

2008-02-03T13:46:00.000-06:00

After some thought, I've decided to pass on watching the super bowl this year. And believe it or not, it has almost nothing to do with the Packers' recent elimination - now I'll admit if the Pack was in it I'd be watching, but if they had finished their expected 6-10 this year I'm pretty sure I'd be passing in that case, too. I arrived at my choice after making the following considerations:

Fox is mixing political coverage into this year's pregame. I'm confident it will be fair and balanced.
Fox will also have a red carpet this year, which is nice because I always feel like football broadcasts don't spend enough time focusing on which celebrities are in attendance, and what, or should is say, "who", they are wearing.
Every moment listening to Joe Buck is a moment of agony.
Ditto for Terry Bradshaw.
5 hours of Patriot (and Giant) butt kissing.
6 hours of promos for horrific new shows that will be gone by April.
There are several decent male-focused viewing alternatives this year, like the Mythbusters marathon.
The Puppy Bowl is always gold, too.
It's unlikely that more than five commercials will actually be funny.
In the age of the internet, I can always view any good commercials the following day, in 1/20th of the time.
My disdain for the league itself has grown a great deal over the past few years, most notably for the NFL Network's cash-grabbing tactics at the expense of their fans, but also for their idiotic handling of tape-gate - why on earth would you destroy the tapes?
I just plain don't like the Patriots.

So, anyway, I guess I'll pick the Giants just for the hell of it. Have fun if you're going to watch, I won't begrudge you. That's the last you'll hear from me on the matter, thank you for your time.

2008-01-26T10:24:00.000-06:00

Can somebody explain to me why The Weather Channel is publishing a video report from a meterologist entitled Proof that there is life on Mars?

(Apologies for the horrifically poor video player and embedding tool weather.com uses. I had no choice, I swear!)

I think right now is a wonderful time to think about where you get your weather information from. You may want to consider sites that tend to focus on actually providing weather information.

2008-01-19T11:04:00.000-06:00

Unsurprisingly, I'm still riding a high from last week's remarkable Packers-Seahawks game. I'll be seeing replays from that game, on TV and mentally, until the day I die. In fact, I would go as far as saying the game deserves its own "bowl" name from here on out, for easy reference. "The Ryan Grant Bowl" is probably my leading candidate right now - narratives where you lose 2 fumbles in your first 3 plays leading to a 14 point deficit, yet end up with 200+ yards and 3 TD's in a visually stunning, snowy blowout just don't come along very often.

Combined with the quickly-becoming-an-annual-tradition Cowboys choke job, it was a near perfect weekend in the NFC. If I wanted to be bold, I'd say the dream matchup I talked about earlier this year, with the still-undefeated Patriots facing the Packers in the Super Bowl, appears close to inevitable at this point.

However I don't want to jinx anything, so I'm not going to say that thing I just said. NE and GB.

2008-01-10T17:29:00.000-06:00

Ah yes, divisional week in the NFL playoffs, also known as the week where you'd have to be insane to pick any upsets. GB, NE, IND, DAL.

2008-01-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

Playoff picks are just below, but first a response to the question of how I feel about Eric Gagne's name appearing in the Mitchell Report: Basically, I'd still rather see the Brewers with Gagne than without him, assuming 1) he stopped using once MLB put HGH on its banned substances list (I believe everything about Gagne in the report is 2004 or earlier) and 2) When he comes out and talks about it, he fesses up (to date, I don't think he's said anything publicly). We already have one wild and unreliable closer that used steroids before MLB started its current policy and has since fully apologized, so it's not like some significant change of course for the Brewers. The only thing that would truly turn me against Gagne would be if he pulled a Clemens and started issuing denials, excuses, and threats rather than accepting any kind of responsibility. And speaking of Gagne, a question for you, Chris: I never watched him on the Sox last year (I can't watch baseball games involving the Yankees or Red Sox) - what the hell happened there? Was his stuff no good, did he lose control on his pitches, did he become mentally unhinged, or was it the case of some bad breaks snowballing? When Doug Melvin signed the guy he said that Theo Epstein had nothing but good things to say about Gagne - was Theo just being a snot or is he actually salvageable? I don't want your opinion as a Sox fan, I want your opinion as a scout...

WAS at SEA: Ok, I went back and looked at Seattle's schedule again, and they did beat one team with a winning record, but it's Tampa, so that totally doesn't count. 0-2 otherwise. Upset special. WAS.

JAX at PIT: Everyone on earth is picking the Jags here, and for good reason. JAX.

NYG at TB: I truly cannot stand this pick, but picking Eli Manning to lead the Giants to victory in a road playoff game is insanity. And I don't want to hear any "they hung with the Patriots" arguments, the Patriots have been playing like a very lucky .500 team for the last 5 weeks or so, and beating the Patriots would have been NY's Super Bowl. TB.

TEN at SD: I still have no idea how the Titans are in the playoffs, when the Browns were a significantly better team all year. Makes you yearn for a BCS-type system, right? SD.

2007-12-29T18:06:00.000-06:00

I cannot remember a week 17 with so many playoff positions already locked up, making for an interesting week of picks.

NO at CHI: Note to Saints: If you can't get it done at home against a team with nothing to play for, you're not going to be able to get it done on the road either. CHI

CAR at TB: Carolina, I'm punishing you for not beating a shorthanded Dallas team last week. TB

BUF at PHI: It's a classic overachiever vs. underachiever matchup, but unfortunately those tendencies leave the teams evenly matched, so I'll just go with homefield. PHI

CIN at MIA: If last week was Miami's superbowl, then this would be their first week of the offseason. CIN

JAX at HOU: Houston would like to go out with a win, and I don't think the Jags have anything to play for. Upset special. HOU

DET at GB: There's only one word for how the Packers played last week: yucky. GB

SF at CLE: Cleveland, I'm sorry, but you blew your chance last week. Winning here isn't going to get it done. CLE

SEA at ATL: Ever wonder what the Patriots would look like if someone sucked half the talent out of each of their players? Just watch a Seattle game. SEA

DAL at WAS: I'm very much rooting for the Viking-killing Redskins in this one. Can anyone think of a less intimidating team to face in the playoffs than the Redskins? I used Todd Collins as a punchline earlier this year, assuming he had retired five years ago. WAS

PIT at BAL: I'm telling you, Baltimore will not recover from the NE game for years. PIT

KC at NYJ: Oh baby, Herm Edwards returning to New York! What a story! Almost as exciting as watching one of those early-December bowl games! NYJ

SD at OAK: San Diego runs away with the AFC West, disparagingly known as "The NFC West of the AFC". SD

MIN at DEN: Yet another embarrassing loss for the overrated "mastermind" everyone forgot about, Mike Shanahan. MIN

STL at AZ: I could see this GIDCAOTW a mile away.... AZ

TEN at IND: Exact same scenario as the DAL-WAS game, exact same result. TEN

2007-12-28T19:30:00.000-06:00

I was meaning to get back to Chris's Mitchell Report Challenge a bit earlier, but was distracted by a Christmas bonanza of video game goodness. I've torn myself away from the joystick for a bit, so lets move on to some topics:

On whether it was right for Mitchell to lead the investigation: In a word, No. And it's not because I have even the faintest belief that any unscrupulous behavior is going on. It just seems like a very poor choice to pick a man who undoubtedly qualifies as an MLB "insider" as the lead investigator in a case that's as much about baseball being an impenetrable ol' boys' club as it is about the drugs themselves. The whole reason this report exists, as far as I can tell, is because no one else had any luck breaking through the stonewall put in place by the player's union. With the government behind them, the baseball community, of all sports, should have understood the value of picking a true arbitrator for this kind of matter. Instead, they provided every Roger Clemens fan a significant piece of ammo to use in whatever conspiracy theory they happen to be cooking up in their tinfoil hat.

On what to do about the records/statistics from convicted users: First of all, I tend to be of the opinion that once a player retires, most of his records, statistics, awards, etc, have no real meaning. His stats are just numbers in a book, completely incapable of influencing the present or predicting the future - they're just a log of what happened, why would anyone care to erase them? As for awards, if Raphael Palmeiro somehow made it into the Hall of Fame, I would probably be upset for about a minute, and then forget about it for the rest of my life. However, this is a game we're talking about, not accounting, and I'm willing to admit there may be a few numbers or achievements that have some kind of "sentimental" value, for lack of a better term. For me, there are really only two numbers, 61 and 755, that are important enough to care about and have been irrevocably linked with the whole steroid issue. And for those two numbers, the steroid "crackdown" came a year too late for the latter, and almost a decade too late for the former. So where does that leave me standing on this issue? Well, let me put it this way: A record can't be un-set once it's set, and baseball will just have to deal with Bonds' 73 and 762 as an embarassing part of its past.

The MLB recordbook is like a program's log file: its creator shouldn't be going back and editing it, even if it contains some nasty stuff...

Oh, and NE for tomorrow...

2007-12-22T16:53:00.000-06:00

Chris's last post brought up the topic of having another point-counterpoint on the Mitchell report. It sounds like a good idea to me, so check back here in a few days and I should have a "formalized" argument started. But today, I'm just doing cleanup picks....

NYG at BUF: Given that this is the NFC vs. the AFC, and that the Giants are in the middle of their yearly late-season collapse, I'm not sure this even qualifies as a real upset. BUF.

GB at CHI: Over the last two years, a well-defined, larger-than-expected segment of the Bears fan base has been clamoring for Lovie Smith to give Kyle Orton a shot at QB (I am not making this up). He was the kind of guy the Bears offense needed: a good game manager, relatively smart, supposedly a good teammate. Last week they got their wish, and hopefully figured out what the rest of us already knew: that Orton, despite his positive traits, was missing one important quarterbacking ability - being able to throw a football. GB.

CLE at CIN: A few weeks ago I was convinced that Cincy would win some meaningless games at the end of the year, but they appear to be in even worse shape than I thought, and Cleveland is so close they can taste it. CLE.

KC at DET: Detroit was mathematically eliminated with the Vikings win last monday, so here's the meaningless victory that would have gone to the Bengals. DET.

HOU at IND: I'm surprised, it actually feels like Indy only played Houston twice this year. IND.

PHI at NO: New Orleans is mathematically alive, Philly isn't. Seems reasonable. NO.

OAK at JAX: I may be getting suckered in here, but the Jags are again approaching AFC 1st-tier status. 1.5-th tier at worst. JAX.

ATL at AZ: Poor, poor, pitiful Falcons. Actually, that's not true, they're mostly a bunch of punks and don't deserve much pity. I doubt "due process" was a term considered by Roddy White while coming up with his subversive T-shirt designs. AZ.

TB at SF: And the ~~rich~~ lower-middle class gets richer. TB.

NYJ at TEN: The Jets shockingly are still playing games. GIDCAOTW. TEN.

MIA at NE: Thanks, Miami, for ruining the fun of 0-14 vs 14-0. NE.

BAL at SEA: Ok, here's the deal: until Seattle beats a .500-or-better team, I will refuse to talk about anything else when picking their games. SEA.

WAS at MIN: If you watched any of last week's Monday night game, it should be painfully clear that the Vikings are overrated. However, the Skins are far too Bear-like to inspire any confidence. MIN.

DEN at SD: A late-season throttling of the Broncos would be the perfect cap on Shannahan's comeuppance year. SD.

2007-12-20T16:31:00.001-06:00

PIT at STL: I saw the Rams last week, and they're certainly talented enough to be a .500 team if healthy, but the Steelers really need this game. PIT

DAL at CAR: Once again, I can't tell if this is a head or heart pick, but what the heck. Upset Special. CAR.

2007-12-15T22:22:00.000-06:00

Let's hurry up and get to the playoffs already....

BUF at CLE: I'm still trying to figure out how Buffalo is still in the hunt, what with them not having anyone good on their team and all...CLE

TEN at KC: Even at 4-9, on a 6 game losing streak, I'd say KC has overachieved this year. TEN

GB at STL: Favre has never played well in the TWA (or whatever it's called nowadays) dome, so I'm more nervous about this game than you might think. GB

BAL at MIA: Just like Chris, I've been forced into picking the dolphins every week until they win. MIA

NYJ at NE: Yay! what a wonderful opportunity for GIDCAOTW. NE

AZ at NO: Sorry kids, you're done...you should both go home now. AZ

JAX at PIT: I proclaimed the Jags as a second-tier team last week, and this is a game that second-tier teams lose. PIT

ATL at TB: Well, this would have been a good GIDCAOTW too, but now that I've already used it, I'm forced to say something relevant. Ummmmm.....do you think Earnest Graham was named after that Jim Varney character? I don't. TB

SEA at CAR: I've already made my thoughts on the Seahawks clear. Repeatedly. SEA

IND at OAK: Personally, I don't think the Frozen Tundra gives the Packers nearly the advantage most claim it does, but last week, the Raiders genuinely looked like a team that just wanted to find a heated area about five minutes after kickoff. IND

PHI at DAL: Upset special: Dallas is due. Actually they're one week past due, but the Lions managed to do what they do best. PHI

DET at SD: Like I was just saying. SD

WAS at NYG: NFC east games always have a strong "meh" element to them, no matter what the records or talent levels are. NYG

CHI at MIN: It would be nice to see the Bears damage the Vikings' playoff hopes here, but bad teams usually can't get it done in the metrodome. MIN