We started life influenced by factors we didn’t choose.  Our beginnings with birth quickly expanded to experiences with family and then friends.  We absorbed everything we could learn from home, school and people.  Eventually we formed our own attitudes, behaviors and desires.

Today is the time for you to choose.  Isn’t it time for your desires to be achieved?  Weight loss?  Better relationships?  More money?  It’s time for those desires to become accomplished goals!  What was absorbed and learned as you aged has taken you this far.  Time to choose beyond upbringing.

If you’ve endured setbacks, heartaches or failures, isn’t it time for a change?  Don’t you want a better life where success, support and fulfillment thrive?

MOVVE!™ is a motivational system that drives individuals and teams to achieve goals.   MOVVE!™ combines IQ (Brain Smarts) with EQ (Emotional Intelligence) to create specialized communication skills that rally goal-driven attitudes, supportive teamwork and successful accomplishments.

You begin by choosing to MOVVE!™ beyond past failures and enter a period of learning and skill building.  Here you experience what you need to achieve goals.  Don’t expect a laundry list of helpful tips and suggestions.  Knowledge may be power but brain smarts alone usually don’t translate to application.  MOVVE!™ is not a book you read like the “Seven Habits” or “Good to Great” or ANY self-help dogma that reeks with popularity.

The motto of MOVVE!™ is “Actions Create Change” so get ready to experience the application of knowledge.  Whether through a MOVVE!™ Coach who offers personalized attention or a MOVVE!™ class where learning is participation, your actions will create your success.

MOVVE!™ is a system that is spelled out with each letter.  The “M” ignites you to Mobilize your instincts and thoughts to take action.  Next, it’s all about Organization as you create a scene-by-scene storyboard to direct those productive actions.  Visualization opens eyes to better behaviors and attitudes scene after scene.  Verbalize communicates skills that create a supportive and goal-driven team.  Energize fuels your pursuit of success with inspiring and resilient emotional energies.  All together, MOVVE!™ generates goal success!

Wanting to achieve a goal is much more than knowing how.  MOVVE!™ applies knowledge, ensuring you accomplish your goals by using your know-how.  Assisting with your emersion into action applications are the Three Movve Guidelines.

“It’s OK to Be Uncomfortable” is the first Guideline which gives permission to savor feelings like anxiety, frustration or embarrassment.  Usually we dread feelings like these.  We don’t want to experience them so we avoid them at all costs.  This changes when you MOVVE!™ because emotional intelligence (EQ) is applied.

Uncomfortable feelings signal that you are on the right track.  When you are trying out new skills you enter an awkward phase.  Welcome it because as you learn skills those uncomfortable feelings will pass.  Better attitudes and actions don’t come without risk-taking actions.  Keep focused on your goals and let “It’s OK to Be Uncomfortable,” be the reassurance that gets you to MOVVE!™ toward better skills and accomplishments.

The other two Guidelines further fuel an EQ buoyancy.  Together they help ensure a transformation to fresh attitudes and behaviors.  MOVVE!™ is more than just three Guidelines.  It’s a system that allows you to apply all that IQ knowledge you’ve collected so you can actually score success after success.

When you want to improve your skills and accomplishments, consider this brain booster:  “Your knowledge will MOVVE!™ into the winners circle when IQ and EQ combines into a motivating force for success that will not be denied.”

Life can be harsh.  There are times we feel behind the eight ball, stuck, neglected and missing the mark time after time.  We could be thinner, richer and in relationships that make us feel loved, vital and alive.  We could be the manager who leads their people to exceed expectations or the parent whose children don’t need constant reminders to clean their room or do homework.    Life gets so much better when you MOVVE!™.

Make your MOVVE!™  Start today!

Contact me, James Cox, at James@the-empowerment-group.com or 509 947-1694.  Discover the classes and individual coaching that is available.

Richards Simmons succeeded. So did Susan Powter, Jenny Craig and Dick Gregory.  Those gurus all tell a compelling story.  Hopeless attempts to lose weight plagued them until they discovered that unique, special formula enabling them to lose vat loads of fat. They obviously have the answers of how we can slim down and be fat free.  If they can do it, so can we, right?

We enviously gaze at their un-retouched before and after photos. With great hope we read their stories, and long to be like them.  Like deer in the headlights, we are mesmerized by their success.

So, how many of us, with that thin vision for ourselves, forked out buckets of cash?  Have you too listened to those endless drones of over-hyped, motivational speeches on DVDs, videos or audio cassettes?  Have you  deprived yourself by indulging in plate after plate of sugar-free, fat-free, calorie-free and taste-free foods?  Did you pop diet pills to the point of shaky vibrations or sweat to the oldies until you dropped like a rock and rolled out?Did you join health clubs, fitness centers or hire personal trainers?  Did you commit to classes, lessons and exercise buddies?  Did your strict regimen of daily workouts dwindle to few and fewer?  Is that club membership collecting dust as your waistline collects inches?

Did you think that if you had workout equipment at home, exercise would be easier?  So did you invest in enough equipment to start your own fitness center?  Don’t we own enough “ab-flatteners” to get “rock hard abs” in 69 different ways and in 13 different languages?  And now, how many of us have that “must-have” equipment in storage?

Gaze over your history of weight-loss efforts.  See the cobwebbed treadmills, the dirty bottles of unopened supplements, the unused club memberships, the mountains of plastic and cardboard packaging of diets gone by.  Remnants of the inspired hope we felt time after time before we failed time after time.  What we see is not the promised land of our success but the apocalyptic aftermath of our weight-loss defeats.

The fact is even the superstars of weight-loss only explain the “mechanics” of losing weight.  They focus your attention on the diet, the exercise routine, supplements, portioned food, colon cleansing, specific foods, workout equipment, meal replacements and finally – surgery.  Indulge in these and they promise you’ll lose weight.  It makes sense doesn’t it?  That’s the point, it’s logical, practical and backed by facts, stats and science.  This is the stinkin‘ thinking that limits us to the insufficiencies of IQ.

Did you know that all these facts, stats and science revealed way back in 1995 that EQ not IQ is the key to success?   IQ is our Intelligence Quotient and EQ is our Emotional Intelligence Quotient.  EQ is the ability to regulate feelings that drive all our thoughts, understanding and behaviors.  Using IQ without EQ is like being stuck in black and white denied the brilliant colors of attitude, motivation and energy.  EQ gives you access to drivers like determination and confidence while equipping you with the resilience to overcome stress, setbacks and challenges.

Welcome to MOVVE!™, our motivational system for losing weight by combining EQ with IQ so you keep it off forever.  ALL those smart brain conscious experts and authorities KNOW that if you want to lose weight you MUST change your lifestyle. This is where the rubber meets the road.  Since a lifestyle change is necessary for changing waistlines, then sticking to IQ mechanics is not living.  Hence, after losing weight with these mechanical rich programs, we gain everything back plus some.

Make your MOVVE!™ to living an obese free life and discover how to make any weight-loss program work for you.  That’s right, any program that is scientifically sound will work when you MOVVE!™ it.  Success will be yours!  Contact me, James Cox RN, M.Ed. at 509 947-1694, email at James@the-empowerment-group.com or check out this website:  http://movvemakeweightlosswork.com

Make your MOVVE!™ now and become that thinner, fitter, healthier you!

When our mind and imaginings are voiced, we hit their wall of WIIFM.  That’s what everyone is tuned to - “What’s In It For Me.” We are now in direct competition with the minds, emotions and trappings of others.

Within our head everything seems clear and exciting.  Exit to our voice and we enter communication congestion.  WIIFM is blaring.  Others don’t listen to us.  They are dialed into their own thoughts, feelings and importance.  Opening a communication channel is the challenge of a lifetime.

Picture three typical occurrences.  A friend suggests another way to do something.  The response is a mix of why it won’t work, anger and indifference.  A parent for the umpteenth time reminds their teenager to clean their room, do their homework and quiet their smart mouth.  Time after time they are met with excuses, apathy and that smart mouth.  A manager imparts his sales experience to an indifferent staff.  Three for three – WIIFM blocks communication and any chance of cooperation.

We all have things we want to share with others.  We share by talking.  This is true whether we’re in a leadership position like any business owner, manager or parent.  What we really want from our employees, team members, family and friends is quite simple.  We want them to listen to us.  Heed our advice, experience and the information we share with them.

Generations have struggled with verbal communication.  Everyday examples of disagreements, fights and avoidance prove our futility.  Look at the role models.  Governments resort to war, families divorce and worksites are a maze of lost productivity and profits.  All this communication chaos is way too costly!

Stopping this madness requires a MOVVE!™  Learning better skills and resources to effectively communicate with others is what MOVVE!™ facilitates.  MOVVE!™ is an easy to use system of talking.  It mutes the static of WIIFM while establishing rapport and win-win results.

MOVVE!™ introduces a comprehensive approach to talking that pays attention to emotional intelligence (EQ).  This offers our brain (IQ) appropriate resilient attitudes to deal with all the feelings that influence interactions.  MOVVE!™ arrives with a practical array of assets, aides and actions.  These fashion specialized verbal skills that engage and bond teamwork to achieve goals.

MOVVE!™ spells out how to communicate with each letter.  The “M” initials Mobilize so our thoughts take action.  Next, it’s all about Organize so a step-by-step storyboard inspires the right actions to create success.  Visualize opens our sight so we can picture doing better behaviors and attitude scene after scene.  Verbalize builds the communication skills that create goal-driven teamwork and support.  Energize fuels our pursuit of success with appropriate and resilient emotional energies.

All together, MOVVE!™ combines IQ with EQ to assemble specialized communication skills.  Its abundant emotionally intelligent resources tune in receptivity so WIIFM becomes a mutually shared communication channel.  This ensures that we are able to connect and lead goal-driven teamwork.  MOVVE!™ ignites a passionate attitude to succeed and delivers the words so brains can team together.

Isn’t it time for YOU to improve communication in your job, in your home, in your life?   Make your MOVVE!™ now! Contact me, James Cox, at James@the-empowerment-group.com or 509 947-1694.  Discover the classes, seminars and individual coaching that is available.  MOVVE!™ to a better you.  Now we’re talking!

Most managers and business owners are sick and tired of all the excuses, distractions and defiance employees use to sabotage job performance.  Instead of the quality work we pay them for, we tolerate all their lame explanations and failures.  Toss in a favorite justification like, “That’s not in my job description” and last-straw pink slips fire both their future and ours.

Our desperate hope of hiring people with the RIGHT attitude, work ethics and skills seem to fade almost as soon as we hand out that first paycheck.  Our expectations get dashed when true colors emerge after job routines are learned.  That hefty cost of rehiring and retraining means we often endure poor performances and attitudes.  Until now!

Here is a workforce reality.  People usually don’t take a job to be lazy, negative, hostile or apathetic.  It is not their intention to avoid doing quality work, cause miscommunications, have a poor attitude or to sabotage teamwork.  None of that was visible in their work resume or interview.  Unfortunately, it all too often turns out that way, true?

People change and become workplace deficits for a variety of reasons too lengthy to list here.  The common factor in this “Jekyll and Hyde” about-face is that their stresses have become too much to handle.  These pressures are either on the job or back at home.  Personal or professional OR both.

If a person feels they can’t resolve demands at work or home, they endure it.  They try to cope, put up with it and attempt to “do their best.” They are now experiencing that burr under the saddle, the fly in the ointment and the toxin that will poison the well.   Analogies aside, feelings are the energy that creates avoidance of quality work, miscommunication, poor attitudes and teamwork turndowns.  Welcome to laziness, negativity, hostility and apathy.  Emotional intelligence anyone?

Staff development trainings aim for the brain.  These intellectual IQ boosts are information heavy.   They pack in all the knowledge to do your job so you can work better.  Oops! IQ is not the problem.  It’s the EQ (emotional intelligence) that needs a tune up.  Traditional trainings stick to facts, stats and science.  If you ever attend one that tackles stress or conflict resolutions, they use left-brain IQ info to deal with right-brain EQ needs.  Oil and water.  That’s like trying to tell a person what to feel.  Does telling someone NOT to be lazy, negative, hostile or apathetic work?  EVER?

Feelings and emotions are the energy that drives behavior.  So if your workplace is burdened with behaviors that hurt performance, teamwork or profits, it’s time for ACTION.  Learning how to manage feelings and emotions does not happen when you KNOW about emotional intelligence.  When it comes to shifting toxic feelings into more productive ones – knowledge and good intentions will never replace experience.

Feelings result from what we experience.  If you get hurt when you fall off the horse, everyone knows you must get back on the horse.  Why?  Because having a better horse experience will change hurt into happy. Taking action creates experiences that can transform feelings and emotions.  Want emotional intelligence?  MOVVE!™

I’ve been using this MOVVE!™ system for over 25 years to rid toxic behaviors and attitudes from the workplace.  MOVVE!™ combines IQ smarts with EQ energy so participants experience how to improve behaviors, communication and feelings.  The result:  productivity and profits!

I am James Cox and you can reach me at 509 947-1694 or at James@the-empowerment-group.com

“He makes people uncomfortable”

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive and influence emotions in oneself and others. Even though brain power is thought to be omnipotent, it is well documented that IQ and technical skills will only get us so far.  In fact, it is the competencies associated with emotional intelligence, not IQ, that account for the significant difference in performance between great and average leaders.

Having a high degree of emotional intelligence is synonymous with having good people skills.  These interpersonal abilities have long been ignored by traditional IQ and technical advocates.  Yet the capacity to deal with others is one of the most important skills ANY person can have.  People skills refer to the various abilities required to deal effectively and positively with others.  These include oral communication, empathy, teamwork, conflict resolution, goal resolve, compassion and flexibility to name a few.

People with emotional intelligence expertise are those who get along well with others. They are great at listening and getting others to work through issues.  They seem to know what to say and how to say it, even in the most stressful circumstances.  They keep their cool and maintain a positive attitude in order to get the job done. They are able to look honestly at themselves and take criticism well and use it productively to improve themselves and their work.  Their attitude and behaviors attract others and encourage a pursuit of excellence.

Abundant evidence proves that emotional intelligence is the key to human productivity.  However, learning how to apply it goes way beyond apples and Newtonian physics.  Feelings may not follow logic, but they do fuel our thoughts and behaviors.  Fortunes and future await those who unlock the application of emotional intelligence.

Unfortunately, when left in the hands of traditional training, any investment of time and money will not achieve what is sought – emotional intelligence.  Using facts, stats and IQ thinking to teach is a familiar route, and may seem logical, but feelings don’t follow that left-brained path.  Sitting through a seminar that uses charts, graphs and power points to teach emotional intelligence is like expecting people to swim without water.

I particularly like that song by the Lovin’ Spoonful called, “Do You Believe In Magic?” They captured the tune and the words that resonate now.

“I”ll tell you about the magic, and it’ll free your soul

But it’s like trying to tell a stranger ’bout rock and roll”

Most of us have been raised not to trust our emotions. We’ve been told feelings distort the more “accurate” information our brain supplies.  Even the term “emotional” implies being weak, out of control, and even childish.  We watch plays, movies and TV shows that exhibit emotional expressions about life.  Most of us stick to being seated observers rather than exploring feelings as a way to connect and communicate.  We really don’t even explore our emotional core.

Our “fight or flight” survival instincts generate our two primal emotions, anger and fear.  When we think of feeling angry, we associate aggressive escalations that can produce negativity, disagreements or fights.   With fear we equate stressed insecurity that leads to less than favorable reactions.  These are just some of the unproductive outcomes associated with these emotions.  With skillfully applied emotional intelligence, anger can transition into more useful energies like determination and confidence.  Fear can shift to caution and calm, and then to capable.  Using emotional intelligence will produce positive and productive results.

Getting folks to embrace and empower the competencies of emotional intelligence requires hands-on experiential learning where feelings are engaged, expressed and rehearsed into usable skills.  In my 25 plus years of working with people, I have assembled an assortment of assets, aides and actions that build and hone emotional intelligence abilities.

MOVVE!™ is the training process I use to engage participants to learn how to use emotional intelligence.  I employ three guidelines.  The first is, “It’s OK to be uncomfortable.” This sets the stage for people to take risks beyond the traditional training settings.  Experiencing how to harness the power of emotions is how skills get built.  Productivity, teamwork, goal achievements and profits result.  Make your MOVVE!™ toward emotional intelligence today.

I am James Cox and you can reach me at 509 947-1694 or at James@the-empowerment-group.com

This is what staff development is all about.  Trainings, seminars, workshops…  These are all chock full of information designed to impart all the education and knowledge needed to improve skills, performance and career.  Managers and business owners profit because productivity soars.  Staff development accelerates potential, earnings and careers.  Win – Win.

“Knowledge is power” so staff development crams all they can into trainings.  Every department, from sales to service to support benefit from continuous education.  This is the popular belief.  It is the industry standard.  It is what we base success on.  Learning is about expanding the brain.  Up our intelligence and success follows.  Ah, if it was only this simple.

Since 1995 we’ve known that the prime driver of success is NOT just information, education and knowledge.  These IQ factors are important but not as vital as EQ.  Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the fuel that drives our thirst for knowledge, improvement and success.  It is ambition, persistence and determination that revs our engine.    Feelings give us resilience, endurance and the ability to handle setbacks and failures.  It’s what gets us up in the morning hungry to succeed, achieve and make good happen.  Emotion is the energy that applies all that information, education and knowledge.

Haven’t we all experienced the deficit of emotional intelligence on the job?   We even have slogans, sayings and excuses.  “Going postal.”  “Good enough for government work.” “He’s in a bad mood.” We can all identify and relate to emotional fallout.  Unfortunately, we have little success with negativity, apathy, jealousy, or resentments.  Keep in mind that these are just SOME of the feelings that foster behavioral repercussions like poor teamwork, productivity and performance.

MOVVE!™ is the system that combines IQ with EQ.   Harnessing emotional drivers into specific communication skills that apply learning, brings potential to promise.  Managers, business owners and staff development can now ensure that time spent on information is application. Feelings that once were known to skew expectations and results get transformed.

Anger that would jam cooperation transitions to the confidence that ignites leadership and teamwork.  Negative attitudes that can poison a workforce reverses to the productive rally of goal achievement.   We KNOW answers, solutions and the best way to skin a cat.  MOVVE!™ applies all this brain power.  Merging IQ and EQ is not just a philosophy.  “Action Creates Change” is the motto of MOVVE!™  From owners to workers, this is a real Win – Win.  Productivity and profits await.  Make your MOVVE!™ now!

Here is my contact info:

James Cox M.Ed., (509) 947-1694  James@the-empowerment-group.com

When we ask others to make good on their job or responsibilities, why do we accept mirages?  The answers we hear are just more promises saturated with the false impression of future improvements.

“I know I can do it now.”

“I will do better tomorrow.”

“You can count on me.”

“It will never happen again.”

Do we realize that these vague responses offer assurances but no reality?  How many times have we heard them?  And how many times have we been shortchanged on results?  As long as we continue to accept these surface and nondescript futures, we will continue to perpetuate a masquerade.  To get past a pattern of smoke and mirrors, we must pursue better communication.  This will reveal truth over deception and empower results over exaggeration.

Good communication is about the interaction of a Sender and Receiver.  Senders are capable of truth or telling us what we want to hear.  So to facilitate productive communication that ends this charade of misleading expectations, a skilled Receiver is needed.

One of the prime characteristics of a good listener is emotional intelligence.  When paying attention to someone, it is essential you keep your feelings in check.  A Receiver knows that when listening to someone, not to get swept up in any emotions that might get provoked.  In other words, it’s not personal, it’s about them, not you.  This is the attitude of a skilled Receiver.

“I know I can do it now.”

“Great.  And what you know is…?

Well, I know that people are relying on me so I won’t let them down.”

“Sounds good.  And you won’t let them down because what you’re going to do differently would be…”

“Hey, I said I’d take care of it.  What do you want me to do, spell it out?”

“OK, you’re shields are up, understandable.   But I’m the one who believes in you.  What would really help me though, is if you would spell it all out for me so I know my belief in you is solid.  This time you won’t be letting ANYONE down.  So, what you’ll be doing differently this time is…”

“Well for one, I know that this is a team effort so I’m going to ask for help right from jump rather than thinking I can do it all on my own.”

“Great start.  And then…”

A skilled Receiver maintains an objective emotional balance.  This is NOT a Sender firing off questions to extract details.  A Receiver believes that they are here for the Sender so their tone, presence and gestures assures not an interrogation, but a gentle curiosity.  This sets the stage for the Sender to relax and relate how they see themselves carrying out their goal with a series of actions.

A Receiver goes for kodaks that present a clear picture of behavior.  No promises, illusions or reassurances without a progressive sequence of actions that illustrate how something will be accomplished.

This is one of the MOVVE!™ assets I share when coaching managers, business owners and parents.  Collect the kodaks to up the productivity and get goals accomplished.  After all, it’s not what is said, it’s what is done.  Actions Create Change. When you want improvement instead of knee-jerk assurances, collect the kodaks.  It’s a much better MOVVE!™

Here is my contact info:

James Cox M.Ed., (509) 947-1694  James@the-empowerment-group.com

“Just Do It”

Reminds me of another simple slogan.  “Just Say No” was endorsed by Nancy Reagan and embraced by those seeking motivation.  So armed with this rally do we stop toxic behaviors?  Is this all the motivation people need to fight drug abuse or obesity?  Helping people to stop seeking the pleasures of drugs or comfort of food requires a better understanding of motivation and how best TO motivate.  Toss in our desire to spark productivity and profits, and motivation is one sought-after skill.

Google, encyclopedias and those with experienced wisdom reveal that motivation has two prime drivers.  Intrinsic or internal, AND extrinsic or external.  Simply put, motivation is either that driver inside ourself or something outside that can drive us.

For instance, we do daily exercises to lose weight because we want to succeed.  If we desire that buff healthy bod, we adhere to the commands of our personal trainer that pushes us to do just one more sit-up.  Internal it’s us.  External it’s them.

Internal is all about gaining feelings of self-worth and building skills and abilities.  External is about tangible outcomes like rewards, prizes or treats.  Both are motivational drivers causing us to take action.

Look around.  We live in a world of motivation.  Open a magazine, newspaper or go on the internet.  Turn on your TV, the radio or see all the billboards as you travel.  Ads.  They’re everywhere!  Go here, buy this, wear that, have another – external motivation is everywhere all the time!

Is it any wonder that external motivation is what’s practiced by parents, managers and business owners?  Parents typically say,

“Do your homework.

“If you clean the garage, I’ll extend your curfew this weekend.”

“If you continue smarting-off, you can go to your room this instant.”

A parent motivates with pleas, rewards and warnings.  Much like managers and business owners who say,

“Make your quotas this week.”

“The one who brings in the biggest volume this month gets that bonus.”

“If you can’t do the job, I’ll get someone who can.”

External motivation dominates.  Nike would be proud, but the results aren’t.  When you use external motivation then expect to play “mother” full time, all the time.  Have you ever seen a “Mom Don’t Work Here” poster at job sites?  One of the more blatant consequences of using external motivation is that it doesn’t produce ownership or responsibility.  Those are internal qualities.  In fact, the best thing it generates is compliance.  But, if that’s what you want, then external motivation is the ticket.

Google, encyclopedias and those with experienced wisdom also reveal that internal motivation is more reliable, resilient and productive.  It is also difficult to access without emotional intelligence communication skills.  These of course are some of the resources I share with my MOVVE!™ coaching.

A typical insurance agent will ask a prospect or customer what they want.  After hearing this, the agent will tell them the rewards and benefits they can expect from their policy.  This familiar sales conversation employs external motivation.  When YOU speak about the rewards and benefits, you are dangling the carrot in front of the customer.  This verbal information share is YOU providing the motivation.  The hope is that they will then purchase the policy.  This is external motivation at work in a sales meeting.

A typical agent trained in MOVVE!™ will ask a prospect or customer what they want.  After hearing this, the agent will ask them what it would mean to them to have this policy.  If the client requests information about the particulars of the policy, the agent will provide those answers.  Afterwards, the agent again asks what it would mean to them to have this policy.  This compels the customer to use their imagination to bring ownership of this policy into their life.

After listening to what the client imagines, the agent rephrases what they heard and then asks the customer how it would then make them feel.

“So Mr. Murphy, you said that if you had this policy, you could see how it would make living easier for both you and your family.  Wow!  So then you’d be feeling…”

This is communicating with emotional intelligence.  Here you’re having a customer internalize the experience of “feelings.”  After all, it isn’t facts and figures that sell products and services.  It’s that other “F” word – FEELINGS.  So after hearing the client express their feelings, the agent restates what they shared and then asks…

“Well Mr. Murphy it sounds like you feel that this policy will be a great investment for both you and your family.  So what you’re going to do now to make sure you get this policy is…?”

This ends with the customer purchasing the policy.  Internal motivation achieved through emotional intelligence communication by using MOVVE On Three.

One of our MOVVE!™ Actions is called, MOVVE On Three which details “WANT, DO and BE.”  First, find out what the client really WANTs.  Next, after highlighting what the customer wants, you inquire what they will DO to get what they WANT.  Finally, get them to explore how succeeding would help them BE the person they’re aspiring to become.  Have them bring to light what it would mean to them and the feelings it would generate when they succeed.  Now you have ignited their motivation.

Asking a customer what they WANT and then telling them what to DO is not only routine, it’s external motivation.  Asking a customer what they WANT followed by asking them who they are striving to BE is an intrinsic character shaping inquiry.  When you get them to examine what they are going to DO in order to BE the person that gets what they WANT – well now you’re creating internal motivation within the client.  WANT, DO and BE – a MOVVE On Three Action that ignites internal motivation.  The sequential order of these three is not important as long as you access each one.  You use all three, they will MOVVE.

Lighting a fire under a person is what motivation is suppose to do.  External motivation is quick, easy and temporary.  Learning how to ignite internal motivation within people is a real skill.  When you want to learn how to do this let me know.  Your self esteem will soar as will productivity and profits.  It will be a great MOVVE!™

Here is my contact info:

James Cox M.Ed., (509) 947-1694  James@the-empowerment-group.com

There was a haunting song by Harry Chapin a few years back. “Cat’s In The Cradle” reminded us that time is flying by and what’s important to us – relationships, passions, goals…  They need to be savored NOW before it’s too late.  The guy in the song was stuck in his pattern, his rut.  His continuous promise that he’d get to it next time kept him from what he valued most.  He let other things become his routine.  And so he lived a busy, but unfulfilled life.   He didn’t have a coach.

Nowadays if a person wants to change, get rid of old habits and embrace new ways, the choices are endless.  There are countless self-improvement books, endless arrays of instructional courses offered by community schools, colleges and the latest guru from Oprah.  Opportunities abound! Many jump on board for the latest self-improvement craze.  Eventually, what starts in a fury slows to whimpers, complaints and unfulfilled endings.  It’s difficult to change.  Old habits die hard.  Information and intention takes you just so far.  After tasting reality, most resign themselves to exit excuses.

“Well, I tried.”  “It just didn’t work.”

Now there’s a way to apply insights you receive from books and classes.  You CAN become the person you desire.  Get a life coach!

What began a few years back as a motivational tool for the corporate world has grown into the equivalent of having a personal trainer.   Coaching has become part of the personal development and training industry that is worth over $100 billion a year worldwide. Life Coaching as a stand-alone profession has come into its own.  Executive coaching, retirement coaching, family coaching, teen coaching… anything in life can now become a focus of personal coaching.  Sessions can be delivered in person, over the phone or even on the internet.

Coaching is different than counseling.  Counseling tends to be “problem focused.”  The theory is when the client comes to understand their problem then it will cease to be a problem.  Counseling is a therapeutic process that mostly involves the past.  Coaching, on the other hand, targets the future.

A coach helps a client look forward.  Examine where they are now and where they want to be in the future.  Setting goals, providing feedback, perspective, inspiration and new ways of handling situations are valuable coaching tools. It’s like having someone running alongside you in life, giving you the extra input and encouragement that can really make a difference to your success.

Awhile back a client came to a life coach with the intention of learning communication skills.   He thought he could then apply them to his staff.  The coach listened and agreed to help.  They signed a standard three-month partnership.  Twelve 50-minute hour sessions is a good accountability arrangement.

After listening and getting a better feel for the client, the coach helped him prioritize his life.  Values, relationships, possessions, goals… the whole spectrum.  After this insightful and revealing exercise the client realized what he really needed.  Direction!

Too many paths, too many irons in the fire and too many demands for his time.  Normally you might think that this is a good time for some clear-headed advice.  That’s what friends and family usually do.  Consultants are often hired for their input and advice.  Been there, heard that.    Everybody and anybody can give advice.  Advice is cheap.  Coaches can run up to $350 an hour.

Sure a coach CAN offer advice.  NOT the good ones though.  The idea is to employ the wisdom of Solomon with the skill of Socrates.  When asked a question, Socrates answered with a question.  This annoyed some but usually led the questioner to invest more of himself to discover solutions.  Answers are easy.  They’re at the back of the book.  It’s the journey, the formula, the recipe that the client seeks.  Personal and professional growth and change is what’s really sought.

Give answers and you undermine self-esteem by proving they couldn’t have done it without you.  Good for the ego of the answer giver, but bad for the client.  Making a life plan, better choices and improving productive skills  must come FROM the client.

So a good coach listens, guides and opens doors but doesn’t provide a numbered sequence of instructions.  We already have the 10 Commandments and the 7 Habits.  The key to success is not in the knowing what to do.  It’s in the DOING and that’s where a coach can help.  A good coach gets you to discover, build skills and apply solutions.  Whose solutions?  Yours!

A good coach works to help the client APPLY answers.  Knowing what to do isn’t the same as doing.    Not even close.  This is where a coach really earns their pay.  Knowledge and answers are useless without better application skills.

Finding a good coach can be a challenge.  Anyone these days can call himself or herself a coach.  Coaching certificates are abundant on the internet. Those who are certified often do not possess the skills.  Ask around.  Interview them before signing on.  Get references.

The coaching system I use is MOVVE!™.  After all, applying insights and information is all about taking action, right? “Action Creates Change” is the MOVVE!™ motto. Improving means becoming a better version of yourself with better skills and resources to succeed.  This time you’ll actively be applying remarkable communication tools, emotional intelligence drivers and have a supportive team that will help MOVVE!™ you toward your goals, happier endings and a better life.

If you want to make the most of your career, relationships, health…, whatever it may be, then coaching is probably an effective resource to consider.

Shrink is what they call a counselor.  Expand is what you do with a coach.

This is your time!  Your life!  Discover the power that’s ready to be ignited.  Time for action.  Call or email me now to make your best MOVVE!™

Here is my contact info:

James Cox M.Ed., (509) 947-1694  James@the-empowerment-group.com

Does it seem that all our talking isn’t really working?  The sales team knows what to do but they still fail to produce those expected profits.  Weddings?  Have you heard that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce?  Is that what they promised in their vows?  And why is it that an alarmingly high number of our children get into those things we told them to avoid?  If we still think that communication is what we’re doing when we talk, then we need to hit the mute switch and look around.  Reality is speaking and it’s saying that we are NOT communicating!

Have you ever experienced that eventual communication connection?  It’s when adult children make a confession to their parents.  “You were right” is the common phrase used in this scene.  After years of torturous experience, children gradually realize that so much of what parents said was true, valuable and life affirming.  “I’m sorry” are other frequent words uttered.  What they’re apologizing for is spelled out when they say, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to listen to you back then.”

And there we have what’s missing in all our talking – LISTENING!

We must clearly be under the illusion that listening happens when the other person is talking.  OUCH!  What a grievous error!  At best our silence is a polite pause as we await OUR opportunity to talk.  Most mistakingly believe talking is when THEY say something and then WE say something.  Point and counter point.  Back and forth  Like this:

“I really think I nailed it today.”

“Sure, like when I thought I nailed it last week with the Nelson account.”

“Oh that was different. You got blindsided.”

“Blind sided?  Let’s not water it down.  I was flat out betrayed!”

“Oh I’m sure Jeff didn’t mean it that way.  After all, he’s just an intern.”

And there you have it.  Communication is two people sharing.  Sending and receiving.  Unless you look closer.  Sure, two people were talking but where is the listening?  When a person speaks from their own perspective, they are the Sender.  They voice their opinions, thoughts and ideas.  Senders believe they are important and have something to say.

A Receiver validates that the Sender IS important.  In fact, Receivers feel that they are there just for the Sender.  Their mission is to help the Sender explore what they’re saying.  No trivial pursuit here.  That’s for conversations and chit chat. When you have a true Receiver, then you have communication.

“I really think I nailed it today.”

“Nailed it?”

“Yeah, I just know he’s ready to sign.”

“ALRIGHT! And you know this because…?

“Because I’m giving him everything he asked for.”

“WOW, way to go!  So the first thing to do now would be…”

The Sender goes on and details all the action steps he’ll be taking.  Now we can easily see and appreciate the difference a Receiver brings to a conversation.  That’s right – communication.

A conversation is where you have a couple of Senders sharing their own thoughts, circumstances and feelings.  That’s what talking is all about.

When you have a Receiver, it is all about the thoughts, circumstances and feelings of the Sender.  A Receiver brings out meaningful depth to what a Sender is saying.  This gives the Sender an opportunity to examine the significance and impact of what they’re expressing.  How?  Because you have a receptive audience that believes what you’re saying has relevance and value.  You are really being heard when you have a Receiver.  This gives the Sender that rare opportunity to validate their thoughts and feelings.  This is how self-esteem and confidence gets enhanced.

When I’m talking with a Receiver and sharing what I’d like to do that day, I don’t hear a bunch of interrogation-type questions or a narrative about what they’d like me to do.  After all, it’s not about them, it’s about ME.  I am the Sender!   When with a Receiver, I am encouraged to continue exploring and expressing so I get to see and feel my future day and all it’s possibilities, detours and outcomes.  A Receiver not only allows me go into depth, they provide the ignition so I can take action!  Since the Receiver is there for me, they ensure that I make my words happen.  A skilled Receiver can really empower accountability AND productivity!  Become a better Receiver and you’ll get better performance.

Listening is an art form requiring more than techniques or tricks.  It requires a person to use emotional intelligence to put aside their bias or knee-jerk reactions and apply authentic listening so a person can really make their words reality.

When managers, couples and parents learn how to communicate with active listening skills, they will MOVVE!™ others to better understanding, cooperation and goal-driven teamwork.  This is what I teach.  It’s not just talk.

Here is my contact info:

James Cox M.Ed., (509) 947-1694  James@the-empowerment-group.com