Michelle always tells me getting in shape, fitness and working out has a direct correlation life. The obstacles you face in the gym are often the same ones you face in life at large. Are you slow to change? Give a 110% then bail after 2 weeks. Are you inflexible? Not in touch? If you are these things in the gym there is a good chance you are this way in the world as well.

I am the second one. I come in guns blazing, eager to tackle a new goal, project or obstacles, but when too much adversity hits I move on to the next thing. This is a hard quality to admit to, as I don’t wan to think I give up that easily. I like to think I am driven, goal oriented and capable… and honestly I AM, but those things don’t mean I am not ALSO struggle with defeat. Frankly, we don’t live in a culture that teaches us how to buckle down for the long haul, the struggles and the patience anymore. Everything is instant gratification, so when I started to head south in my training regimen a couple weeks ago I really had to take a close look at who I really am. Before, if I lost sight of my goals, it was never the end of the world. It usually seemed I had stopped with one thing because something better came along. I didn’t ever think it was because the first thing got hard, but maybe that IS what I had been doing.

For me, I am the second one. I come in guns blazing, eager to tackle a new goal, project or obstacles, but when too much adversity hits I move on to the next thing. This is a hard quality to admit to, as I don’t wan to think I give up that easily. I like to think I am driven, goal oriented and capable… and honestly I AM, but those things don’t mean I am not ALSO struggle with defeat. Frankly, we don’t live in a culture that teaches us how to buckle down for the long haul, the struggles and the patience anymore. Everything is instant gratification, so when I started to head south in my training regimen a couple weeks ago I really had to take a close look at who I really am. Before, if I lost sight of my goals, it was never the end of the world. It usually seemed I had stopped with one thing because something better came along. I didn’t ever think it was because the first thing got hard, but maybe that IS what I had been doing.

Training was starting to get hard. I was starting to get tired. The work it took and still takes was seeming more than what I had planned for.  I mean, logically I KNEW it was hard work, but I hadn’t really been through it so there was no way to truly prepare myself. I was having a breakdown. I obsessed on the why’s . Why was I tired? Why didn’t I want to work out? Why was I so emotional? I began to question everything about my choice to “get in shape” Was it the heavier weights? Was I sleeping wrong? Was I doing too much in my life in general? Was this just an off week? My head was spinning and I was not excited anymore. It became too much to think about and it wasn’t fun anymore.

If I am being honest, I even had a few secret tears (after swearing I wouldn’t be that girl) just because. I had to force myself to keep a smile and deal with the internal frustration and all the over thinking. Quitting is so easy and started crossing my mind daily for the first time since I started this journey. It’s so easy to give up. However, as much as I wanted to quit, I also felt guilty for this desire. I felt guilty about being tired. I wanted to be in #beastmode, #noexcuses, and all that other stuff I see daily on social media. I didn’t want to be a #quitter.

Lucky for me I have a lot of support in my life with my brother and sister and my trainer, Michelle. I’m a talker and I started talking about my feelings. When Michelle first told me it was ok and to just take a few days rest, I thought she was babying me. But then my family and friends said the same thing and slowly but surely it sunk in. The guilt was still there, but I guess that’s cause I’m just the type to always push myself, but I was letting myself do it.. I was slowing down for a few days.

In this time the worries and whys and what ifs slowly subsided and my thoughts began to get clearer. I was able to reassess why it was I went after this goal in the first place and started to comprehend that REST is part of the process with getting in shape. IT isn’t GO GO GO.. No one can go from out of shape to beast mode. It will always be a little 2 step forward 1 step back, or so I am told, with every progress there will be an adjustment period and a moment needed to catch my breath.
This moment of catching my breath really allowed me to start to remember why I started in the first place. I was calming down and regaining my energy and instead of tears I started to look at myself in the mirror and see the progress I had already made. Hell I was getting LINES in my ABS! What?! I had been so focused on the end game, big picture before, I wasn’t giving myself enough credit for the little goals and this one was exciting enough to fame my flame of excitement again. The rest time also gave me a moment to reassess the larger picture and see what my true priorities were. In the past, as I said, I often would move on to the next new thing carried by excitement and adrenaline. Not really prioritizing any real goals. However, I DID want that amazing body I had dreamed of for years and so this time I KNOW I had to do something different. I looked at everything I was doing. Michelle told me to pick the three most important things in my life and if something I was doing to benefit those three things, I shouldn’t do it. This was great advice. I was doing hundreds of things hoping something would pan out as my golden ticket (and also because I enjoyed them), but was realizing I would be successful at none of them if I didn’t give them the proper attention. I wanted to succeed at this, and my breakdown was now appearing to be a break through!

A few things I really addressed and feel helped me get through are as follows

• Rest is good. Don’t beat myself up for it. Michelle always says; “muscle grows while you’re resting”
• Always remember 1 or 2 solid reasons WHY I am doing this, so in moments of doubt I can quickly remind myself.
• Don’t just TALK priority. Really LIVE my priorities
• Be patient with myself and think progress not perfection.  Keep going.
• Expect Obstacles
• Expect frustration and then let it go. Don’t give it the little energy I have.
• Most importantly, this is my new lifestyle not just a goal to be tackled and moved on from. There is no end game just constant and steady progress.

I believe more now than ever that sometimes you have to get to the lowest point in order to  see what you are really made of. Are you going to let adversity be a breakdown or breakthrough. It’s all a part of the process and growing. Today I am just  happy to be pressing onward.

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Pre Heat Oven to 350

Cooking Instructions:

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Last week I experienced what I would call my “first official leg day”. At least thats what my trainer and my trainer friends all told me after I crawled home and felt sick for a the first 3 hours after. All I kept thinking was “what did I do wrong?” but the answer I got back was- you were finally doing everything right. Ok, maybe Michelle told me I should eat a bigger breakfast now that we are training harder, make sure I get rest and drink lots of water, but essentially, I was hitting my stride and begin able to dig deeper and go harder and longer then I had up until that point. What started out as me feeling like I messed up somehow (I am always trying to make sure I take care of myself so I wondered where I fell short) really was me turning a major corner in my training.  I had felt like I had let myself down until others helped me hang my perspective. So, after that day we made some nutrition adjustments, and talked things over, and I came in more prepared for my next work out. Just because my preparation this time went beyond the physical- and into my mental state- it ended up seeming so much easier…and I know I hit that session like a beast cause I am still sore (I may be progressing quickly in some areas but my body is still taking its sweet ass time to recover. in some ways 5 weeks seems like I’ve been lifting forever, but in other ways I can tell I am still such a newbie).

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All this change in perspective can be hard on the ego. Of course I wanted to believe I hadn’t been doing EVERYTHING wrong before, but lucky for me I knew that I needed to be very open and have a clear mind in order to soak up and retain all the information that was coming my way. For that reason I made a commitment the first week to check my ego at the door. As hard as that is, its been the best thing in letting me get where I want to go even faster. Here I was, ready to be like the ripped ab girls I follow on Instagram, and I had to start with elastic bands and stretching. What the? However, because I remained open, I quickly realized Michelle was teaching me how to fish, not just giving me dinner. These basic things that didn’t make me feel tough, though, were getting me in touch with myself in a way I had never even considered. She introduced me to every part of my body, my  weaknesses (buckling at the knees) and strengths (flexibility and, as she says, killer drive).  I was learning how far I had to go, but that I could in fact get there. These sought after physiques were clearly not easily obtained. It was challenging to submit to the fact that I am a new student starting from scratch! However, It feels great not to be set in my ways anymore and to realize that I don’t have to be perfect or “know it all”. We all have to start from somewhere and it would make reaching my goal all the more fulfilling. 

The ego kept rearing its head, however, and I struggled at times to let go of things things like being the drops of sweat that were flying everywhere and having to shift my body in unfamiliar positions in order to keep focused on specific muscle groups. I REALLY struggled with this. It made me feel like I was lacking coordination and that seemed to frustrate me the most. I also found myself, through the first repetition of every exercise, struggling with the concept of my body and my MIND having to work TOGETHER to properly and successfully work my muscles. I never thought training would be so mentally exhausting! The information was overwhelming at first, and I am constantly trying my hardest not to over think. Its also still  been a struggle to walk into my own gym, away from my trainer, on my own and pick up a weight. Its almost harder because before I at least THOUGHT I knew what I was doing, but since I have had to start at the beginning, I get even more nervous that people are going to look at me like “what is that girl doing”. But I look forward to improving and becoming more confident. I am certain before long I will soon become comfortable with lifting in a room full of guys and I’ll eventually learn how to properly set the machines to my body size when I am on my own.. I know just have to keep remembering- I got this!

ONE DAY I AM GONNA LIFT LIKE A BIG GIRL!

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ONE :to show one of the many amazing reasons I love Golds Gym in Venice. There is so much equipment there, old and new, all under one roof, that I have yet to find elsewhere. I know these little contraptions exists in other gyms- but for some reason, this one is just the best. Maybe it sentimental because I never used one before I got to Golds.. I don’t even know what you call it. Either way, if you are a fitness fanatic like myself you should really try to make it there once in your life. Its very inspirational and the energy is intoxicating. Everyone is so hungry to be the best.

TWO: I took this video to show full hip extension. Whether you are squatting dead lifting or doing these thing-a-ma-jigs, that GLUTE SQUEEZE at the top of the exercise, or hip thrust (a full opening of the front side of your hips) is important to understand and practice for a few major reasons.

First, this thrust and squeeze motion activates your glutes more than they would otherwise in the exercise (like if you only came up 90% leaving a slight bend at the waist-you have probably seen people in the gym doing this when they squat) and if you’re a white chick like me- working those glutes should be a corner stone in your training. Nobody wants a flat booty. However, if you already have an amazing bum, you probably want to keep it that way so there is no excuse to slack. But thats just about looks- a more mechanical reason is this: practicing this intentional glute activation through body weight exercises, like in this video, helps your glutes more instinctively activate when  you go into heavy exercises like squats. This is important because a major issue with squats, dead lifts and similar exercises is the tendency to roll ones lower back when the weight becomes too heavy (or if someone is just not used to the movement). Having strong glutes (strength) and strong glute activation (mind to muscle connection)  will help one  place that heavy weight in their ARSE, where it belongs, rather than their back. This will not only prevent injury and pain, but again, one can’t tighten or grow their booty if they aren’t using it- so it needs to be used to its full capacity in each exercise intended for it. Lastly, on the front side of your body, you are opening up the hips and essentially stretching our upper quad and hip flexors. This is important because if someone continually failed to open up those hips they would be encouraging a tightness… a tightness in the hip flexors which is not fun. Again, tight hip flexors can lead to back issues, other muscle imbalances and injury and really prevent strength and muscle gains in the long run. ON the flip side, stretching that upper quad  at the top of each rep will actually contribute to muscle growth. Although there is not a lot of weight paced on this muscle in this exercise, muscle grows from being torn down and rebuilt thicker and stronger, or in some cases with more fibers. That muscle tear starts with a muscle stretch. This is why the concentric movement of all lifting exercises is so important. So elongating a muscle as much as your can through each movement (within reason and with control) will help to  increase flexibility and allow for more stretching in other exercises as well as this one.

One last detail- as your thrust your hips forward make sure you ARE in fact doing it from the glutes and not the low back. It is almost a tucking of the tail bone, like a dog tucking its tale. This motion causes your low back to become flat. However, if you just thrust froward from the belly, focusing on the front side of your body rather then that back side booty tuck,  your low back with become arched. This is incorrect. This can also put stain on the knees if you are locked into a piece of equipment as seen in the video. PROPER form really is the foundation of lifting and why learning from someone with more experience will help you grow faster, avoid injury, and get where you want to go the safest and fastest way possible. Happy training!

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A little isn’t going to kill you but if its high, and you are using it a lot you might want to switch to  a lower sugar option. On that note, however, investing in high quality Balsamic and Olive oil will transform your  salads. If I have great tasting Vinegar and Oil I can eat salad all day. If I have watery, flavorless or bland versions, I tend to rarely make that veggie choice.

Two Cucumbers- halved and cut  into 1/2inch moons. I prefer english because they are less seedy. IF you use regular ones, take out some of the seeds so they don’t make the salad watery. A few are ok. I also like to shave half the skins off for looks, but leave some on for nutrients.

1/2-1 Red Onion thinly sliced (depending on preference and size of onion)

1-1/2 Cups halved cherry tomatoes

2-2 Garlic Cloves (the longer this sits in your fridge the more garlicy it will get, just be warned, but this is also part of what gives it a richer flavor)

1Tb Olive Oil

2Tb Balsamic Vinegar (or however much you want)

SALT!! If you are on a low sodium diet you can reduce the amount you use or leave it out, but if not salt really is what makes food taste good. As a trained chef, 9 times out of 10 home cooks food doesn’t taste as good because they don’t season enough with salt. Play with it and find your preference but also try to use Kosher (it is shaved instead of granulated and therefor “melts” into food better) or Sea Salt (which can have richer flavor and more nutrients) Old school granulated salt can often have iodine in it to (from the old days to keep sailors from getting scurvy at sea) and this gives it a tangy flavor thats not as  good in my opinion.

Fresh Ground Black Pepper– as with all seasoning ingredients- oil, vinegar, spices, salt etc… using fresh and quality will really make the difference between ok foood and great food. And when you are starting to try and eat healthier and your pallet is accustom to really intense flavors from packaged or processed foods,  you need all the help you can get in appealing to that tongue.

**Adding chopped olives and some fetta cheese would make this  amore official greek salad but I really think it taste great with out. You can do whatever you like depending on your dietary needs and preferences!

Take all these yummy ingredients and toss together in a bowl and store in your fridge- WaLa!

Oh Wait! It gets better. I snack on this OR I add in a can of tuna (which goes great with these flavors) or chopped chicken to create a carb free meal. AND when I get down to the last portions of this mix, and its a little watery from the tomatoes and cucumbers, I toss it with arugula and the liquid makes a really “clean” salad dressing.  And as always- A little hot sauce or Sriracha never hurt anything.

Happy Eating!

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