Mr. Ignorant

Life During Wartime

2010-12-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

Shirley Henderson, Allison Janney, Michael K. Williams, Michael Lerner, Ciarán Hinds, Paul Reubens, Charlotte Rampling, Ally Sheedy. Written and directed by Todd Solondz (Palindromes, Storytelling, Happiness, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Fear Anxiety & Depression).

This is a must-see, even for me. Todd Solondz is a total genius. Seriously.

A sequel of sorts to the fantastically funny and at the same time deeply disturbing Happiness, albeit with a completely different (and equally stellar) cast, Life Without Wartime is likely to be sharp, hilarious, moving and illuminating. It's what character film-making should be all about.

Can't wait to see Charlotte Rampling playing against type as a hard-faced old cow. What a treat this will be.

Seriously, see it. I know I will. On VoD sometime in the near-to-middle future, probably. But I'll definitely see it.

Watch these films almost right now:

Goddamn Amazon don't have Happiness on VoD. Miserable bastards. Sorry.

Little Fockers

2010-12-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

Ben Stiller, Robert de Niro, Teri Polo, Jessica Alba, Owen Wilson, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Blythe Danner, Harvey Keitel. Directed by Paul Weitz (American Dreamz, About a Boy, American Pie). Written by John Hamburg (I Love You Man, Along Came Polly, Safe Men), Larry Stuckey (Elling, no really, it's a film).

So, Meet the Parents was pretty good, right? Ben Stiller was great as always, and it had the lovely sense of discomfort that the best fish-out-of-water farces do. Even de Niro was okay in it, despite the fact that he is nowhere near as good at comedy as he is at drama (remember his crying jag in Analyze This? Just embarrassing. Not funny at all.)

And then Meet the Fockers was fine, too. It suffered from a lack of Owen Wilson, but Dustin Hoffman was his usual magic self and Barbra Streisand was quite good too.

But this. This. Am I the only one who thinks this looks absolutely dreadful? I'm only going by the trailer (natch) but really? Is that the best of the film? There was nothing else trailer-worthy? Oh dear.

I'm sure this'll show up on free-to-air TV some time over the next year and I'll watch it out of curiosity. Maybe. But otherwise I'll be skipping it. I'm sure there are way better comedies out there.

Gulliver's Travels

2010-12-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

Jack Black, Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Chris O'Dowd, TJ Miller, James Corden, Catherine Tate. Directed by Rob Letterman (Monsters vs Aliens, Shark Tale). Adapted from the book by Jonathan Swift (from my home town) by Joe Stillman (Planet 51, Shrek, Shrek 2, King of the Hill, Beavis and Butthead) and Nicholas Stoller (Get Him to the Greek, Yes Man, Fun With Dick and Jane).

I'm not sure what to make of this, to be honest. I like Jack Black. There, I said it. I do. I'm just not sure how I feel about mixing Jack Black with a 17th-Century children's classic, although he was fantastic in Peter Jackson's King Kong, possibly because of the director.

Then, I check out the trailer. First act looks reasonable enough, it's a combination of the original set-up from the book and the female lead's set-up from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and lo, Jack finds himself a giant in the land of the tiny Lilliputians. And then he plays table soccer with some, so presumably he brings them back to America with him. Or something.

Despite the great supporting cast (James Corden excepted, of course), I have a terrible feeling about this one. So I'm not going to see it. Not that I'd have seen it if I'd thought it would be good, mind you, but at least this way I can feel like I'm making some sort of stand.

Blue Valentine

2010-12-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams. Director: Derek Cianfrance (various documentaries). Written by Derek Cianfrance, Joey Curtis (two things I've never heard of) and Cami Delavigne.

If you're going to see one independent arthouse film with great performances and hand-held photography don't see Somewhere, see this, it looks a lot better as far as high-tedium-risk low-budget flicks go. The story of the rise and fall of a marriage, the really interesting thing about Blue Valentine is that it was shot six years apart, and we intercut between the beginning of a relationship and its end. Hard to see how that'll leave a warm and fuzzy feeling, but Irreversible managed it, so it's always possibly no matter what the subject might be.

Will I see this? Of course I won't. But if for some reason I do end up seeing it, on TV when the remote is out of my reach, for example, I suspect I'll quite like it.

Somewhere

2010-12-24T18:47:00.000-08:00

Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning. Written and directed by Sofia Coppola (The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation, Marie-Antoinette).

Stephen Dorff plays a Hollywood actor living a soul-less party-heavy existence in Hollywood's Chateau Marmont hotel, when his eleven-year-old daughter shows up and presumably he has to re-examine what's important to him or something.

Pros: Lost in Translation, another aimless hotel-dweller movie, was really rather good, even if, when it came to the whispered phrase between the two main characters it was what a good ole harmless racist back in the day might have called a bit of a gyp. I'm all for letting the audience decide for themselves, but you do have to narrow it down a bit. Multiple choice, Sofia, that's all I'm saying.

Cons: While it's really nice to see Stephen Dorff doing something substantial again after filling the years since Backbeat with what can most kindly be described as complete and utter shite (apart from the odd decent supporting role in the likes of Public Enemies and World Trade Center, the latter of which I have, to nobody's surprise, yet to see), and I'm sure he puts in a nice performance, he isn't Bill Murray, and there is no Scarlett Johansson. Plus the music seems really miserable, although I'm only going on the trailer for this, I don't know much about the band Phoenix except that they're from Paris.

I'm putting this down as a miss, unless you're really into that kind of thing, and don't require that your films offer real entertainment as such. But then what the hell do I know? I see nothing these days.

The Social Network

2010-12-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake. Dir. David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Zodiac, Panic Room, Fight Club, The Game, Se7en, Alien 3). Writers: Aaron Sorkin (Charlie Wilson's War, The West Wing, The American President, Malice, A Few Good Men (from the book by Ben Mezrich).

Look, I'll be up front and say I'm not going to see this, even though I've heard good things about it, and I like David Fincher's work, and I think Aaron Sorkin's a genius, and Jesse Eisenberg was great in Zombieland, and the trailer looks really rather good. I just can't stand Zuckerberg. Even though I like Facebook. So I'll be watching something else.

Unless Mme Ignorante decides otherwise, of course.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

2010-12-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Kulkin, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza. Dir. Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead). Written by Michael Bacall (two films I've never heard of) and Edgar Wright, from the graphic novel by Bryan Lee O'Malley.

In order to continue dating the gorgeous Ramona Flowers, Michael Ce... I mean Scott Pilgrim must do battle with her seven evil exes.

Apparently this didn't do as well as many thought it would, and it seems hard to tell why. It looks sharp, witty and stylish - Edgar Wright's two previous films were fantastically fresh (Shaun of the Dead has become a cult classic, and Hot Fuzz had me rolling around the place with its mix of Agatha Christie-style small-town English intrigue and horrific bloody violence), and the cast looks solidly likeable, especially Cera.

I have the flu and may download this to help me through. It looks awesome.

Why didn't people go see it? (Apart from me, I mean - I don't go see anything).

The Fighter

2010-12-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams. Dir. David O. Russel (I Heart Huckabees, Three Kings). Writers: Scott Silver (8 Mile, The Mod Squad), Paul Tamasy (Air Bud), Eric Johnson, Keith Dorrington.

What a set THIS could have been! The authors of the two most famous Hollywood dummy-spits of noughties together. Betcha nothing happened. Betcha every time Christian Bale and David O. Russell got hot under the collar Mark Wahlberg's inherent, over-powering, all-consuming niceness stopped anything interesting happening at all.

IMDB says this is the story of the early years of boxer Irish Mickey Ward and his trainer brother, in the 1980s, but the trailer's pretty clear that it's much more about the boxer's comeback in his early 30s, which happened around the turn of the millennium. I'm going with the trailer. Has imdb.com turned into Wikipedia?

This looks pretty good, given that there are fewer and fewer great boxing stories, now that the sport has gone to pieces (name one great character since Tyson. Can't, can you?) Wahlberg's usually good, Christian Bale is generally good with a strong director, and David O. Russell is definitely that. Three Kings was great, even if it's more than a decade ago now, and I Heart Huckabees wasn't bad either. I don't know much about the writers, but David O. Russell generally puts his own clear mark on every script he shoots - although I notice he doesn't have a writer credit on this one (which means nothing - the way the Writers' Guild of America allocates writing credits can be mind-boggling convoluted and unfair).

Anyway, this looks fine, I guess, if maybe a little welterweight compared to the heavyweights of Raging Bull, Rocky and Cinderella Man (which I liked, despite the Ron Howardness of it), but that's fine. The big question is always "is this worth the price of the ticket and the two hours of my life?" and I'm sure in Russell's hands it's just that, without causing any earthquakes.

Yeah, sure, why not? Go on then. Fine.*

*This is good - the majority of movies aren't worth the money. Or the time.

Affiliate news: Haven't been able to find a reasonable replacement for Amazon, so rather than bother you with unethical temptations I'll ask you to just send me small but regular amounts of money. Email me for details.

Monsters

2010-12-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able. Writer-director: Gareth Edwards.

Six years after aliens have landed, a journalist escorts a tourist through the "infected zone", a fenced-off swathe of northern Mexico.

A very different kind of monster movie, I'll bet. Trailer 1 sells this as a horror, a cousin, perhaps, to Cloverfield. Trailer 2 sells it as a bit more of a mystery.

With a reputed budget of Stg£500,000, Monsters is an independent feature that looks like a blockbuster - and the lower production budget gives it huge freedom from the studio-imposed MBA-driven bullshit that a film like this would normally suffer from. I'm hugely hopeful about this one - if it succeeds, and all the indications are that it is already succeeding, it may change the paradigm on how low-budget movies find success, and further erode the power of the studios.

The budget figure quoted fails to take into account the fact that the director is a visual effects artist of long standing, who did most of the VFX himself, in the same way as El Mariachi's reputed $7,000 budget was actually in the region of $60,000 when you add post-production expenditure after the film had been bought by the studio, but both figures are still very impressive indeed.

I'm excited about this, and I'd really like to go see it. Of course I probably won't, but such is life. Here's the trailers.

And while I'm here, if you go to the cinema, ever, you need to watch this and abide by these sensible rules. If they offend you and you think you should be exempt in some way, don't go to the cinema any more.

Lastly, I'm ditching the Amazon affiliate programme for various reasons, and I'm looking for some ideas on how to help support this blog. Got any requests or ideas?

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

2010-12-05T01:06:00.000-08:00

Jorma Tommila, Onni Tommila, Peeter Jakobi. Dir. Jalmari Helander. Writers: Jalmari Helander (screenplay) and Juuso Helander (idea).

The real legend of Santa Claus.

Based on two rather excellent short films from a few years back, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is a horror re-work of the Santa Claus myth.

Looks rather excellent, doesn't it? The only question is whether or not they can sustain the joke over an entire feature - although my feeling is that the story may take over, by the third act you may have forgotten about Christmas and be well into the horror narrative unfolding.

Not that I've seen it or anything. But you never know, it might fit the bill if the weather's difficult over the holidays and I need to distract two-year-old Ignoramus Junior for a couple of hours. She loves Christmas.

And here's the original short film:

The Switch

2010-12-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, Patrick Wilson, Juliette Lewis, Jeff Goldblum, Todd Louiso. Dir. Josh Gordon and Will Speck (Blades of Glory). Writers: Allan Loeb (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, 21, Things We Lost in the Fire), from a short story by Jeffrey Eugenides.

I like Jennifer Aniston. She seems really nice, and she's a talented and courageous actress (she plays a 47-year-old in this, she's 41). Her films though, especially when she has the lead, are completely dreadful. Like J-Lo since about 2002. Or most of Sandra Bullock's films, ever.

In this one, she plays a 40-year-old who has a kid by a donor, but later her best friend... wait a goddamned minute! This isn't a Jennifer Aniston film! This is a Jason Goddamn Bateman film!

There is hope after all.

So, Jason Bateman is best friends with our Jen, gets drunk at the party she has to celebrate her artificial insemination (WTF?!) and... well, watch the trailer. So Jason finds out later he's the da.

I really hope this is good. Jason Bateman is a wonderful actor who really deserves a bit of lead success after his great turns supporting various other people in the likes of Up in the Air, Hancock, Mr. Magorium's Thingummy, Juno and so on.

And yet I'm suspicious. Aniston is top-billed, yet the trailer seems clear - Jason Bateman is the lead. Well, which is it? I'm going with Bateman, because I'm an optimistic soul.

The writing-directing team that made Blades of Glory is responsible, and while I haven't seen that (yeah, yeah, I know, you knew that already, right?) I've heard good things.

I won't be breaking down any doors to see this, but frankly it's the best bet I've seen in ages for a proper early-relationship date movie that might actually be good. The trailer cut might well reflect the movie (great first act, so-so second, rubbish third), but that's just me being cynical.

Also, "the most unexpected comedy ever conceived": Really?

True Grit

2010-11-30T21:30:00.000-08:00

Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Domhnall Gleeson, Hailee Steinfeld, Barry Pepper. Written and directed by Ethan and Joel Coen (No Country for Old Men, Fargo, Blood Simple, and shit-loads of other great, great films) from the novel by Charles Portis.

This.

Is.

Going.

To.

Rule.

Look at it. Just look at it. The Coens, the cast, one of the great epic western myths of all time... this is going to be one of the greatest films ever made.

Right, enough slathering. As I wipe the saliva from my chin. Okay. Deep breaths. Right. So, not a remake of the John Wayne classic as such, but a new adaptation from the novel. Given the work the Coens did adapting No Country for Old Men, this version of True Grit is shaping up to be utterly legendary.

So much so I intend seeing it. If I see only one film this year (which is optimistic) I'll try to make it this one.

Can't goddamn wait.

The Tourist

2010-11-30T21:08:00.000-08:00

Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff, Rufus Sewell. Dir. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (The Lives of Others). Writers: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, Christopher MacQuarrie (Valkyrie, The Way of the Gun, The Usual Suspects), Julian Fellowes (The Young Victoria, Vanity Fair, Gosford Park), adapted from the French film Anthony Zimmer, written and directed by Jérôme Salle.

So according to imdb.com The Tourist revolves around Frank (Depp, natch), an American tourist visiting Italy to mend his broken heart, when extraordinary woman Elise (Jolie, presumably) deliberately crosses his path. Who wrote that? It's terrible. Who could possibly want to see such a film? Compare that to the blurb for Anthony Zimmer (click the link, there's too much of it to reproduce it here... actually, don't, the French film plot summary may give away crucial information and constitute a spoiler for The Tourist. Jesus Christ this is complicated.) upon which The Tourist is based. I'd see the French film first, me.

But then let's examine the form. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck made The Lives of Others, one of the best films of the last ten years, an accomplished, extraordinary piece of work (if you haven't seen it, do - even I've seen it. In a cinema and everything.) There's a really odd writing mix of the director, along with Christopher MacQuarrie, who's reliable, even if he has never really reached the heights of The Usual Suspects (Valkyrie was okay, but the script was really rather good), and Julian Fellowes, who wrote the rather wonderful Gosford Park. Johnny Depp makes really interesting choices, Angelina is usually good value, and there's a heavy-weight Brit-actor supporting cast too. The only worry is that I've never heard of Anthony Zimmer, and it was released there two weeks before I went to live in Paris. That's a minor worry though - many great films have been made from adaptations of mediocre predecessors. Ocean's Eleven for example.

The The Tourist trailer looks pretty good.

D'you know, I might actually go see this.

Like that's going to happen.

Oh well, I'll download it from iTunes in a couple months' time.

But I'll look forward to it.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

2010-11-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

Ben Barnes, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley, Tilda Swinton, and the voices of Liam Neeson and Simon Pegg. Dir. Michael Apted (Rome (TV), The World Is Not Enough, Gorillas in the Mist, Gorky Park, The Coal Miner's Daughter). Writers: Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (both previous Narnia films, You Kill Me, The Life & Death of Peter Sellers), Michael Petroni (Queen of the Damned).

The two remaining Pevensie kids still under contract find themselves catapulted from wartime England into Narnia, this time fetching up aboard Prince Caspian's royal ship The Dawn Treader. From imdb.com: "Along the way they encounter dragons, dwarves, merfolk, and a band of lost warriors before reaching the edge of the world." Doesn't sound very good, does it?

I loved the books as a kid, and was really hoping for masterpieces, especially in the wake of the triumph that was the hitherto unfilmable Lord of the Rings trilogy. What we got in the first film was at times brilliant, at times desperately tedious and overall very uneven, and the second film was completely forgettable. This one doesn't look any better, I'm afraid. Given the choice I'd see Harry Potter. Not that I'm being given that choice.

I do love the transition scenes though, the wardrobe in the first one was cool, and train station in the second one quiet exciting, but the flooding painting thing looks amazing. Like. That bit. The rest? Not so good, I suspect.

But then who am I to say? All I've seen is the trailer.

ADDENDUM: Thanks to Daniel and his comment below, we have an updated trailer. He's right, it is better. I'm still not sold, but Daniel, I like your enthusiasm.

Black Swan

2010-11-29T20:19:00.000-08:00

Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel. Dir. Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, The Wrestler). Writers: Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz, John McLaughlin (Man of the House - ?!)

I really want this to be good. Requiem for a Dream still stands as a masterpiece, and while I believe The Wrestler was rather good (guess what, I haven't seen it) The Fountain was horrible with the odd good bit.

The writers here have one previous credit between three of them, and that for a seriously crappy-looking Tommy Lee Jones comedy that I didn't see, and never will. But this might be a good thing. Fresh talent and all that.

The fantastic Natalie Portman plays a ballerina, with the fantastic Vincent Cassel as her Svengali-type-bloke, who gets into a f***ed-up dangerous relationship with understudy Mila Kunis, who is also fantastic. You'd think anything with those three in it would be eminently watchable, but I thought that about The Fountain with Rachel Weisz and Huge Jackman, and oh my God was I wrong? Yes, I was. Very wrong indeed.

I'd love to be wrong about Black Swan, but from the trailer I fear I am not.

Not that I'd go see it either way or anything.

I Love You Philip Morris

2010-11-29T19:26:00.000-08:00

Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor, Leslie Mann. Written and directed by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra (writers but not directors of Cats and Dogs, Bad Santa, Bad News Bears) from the book by Steve McVicker.

After a road accident married cop Jim Carrey re-evaluates and decides to live life to the fullest, which for him consists of coming out of the closet and also becoming a con-man. This ends him up in prison (I'm using horrible sentence structure there deliberately because I like the rhythm, before you judge) where he falls in love with mild-mannered Ewan McGregor (Philip Morris) and sets out to break him out of prison at any cost.

Weeeeeeeeel. Cats and Dogs I turned off after fifteen minutes it stank so high. Predictably I haven't seen Bad Santa, but I heard it did well. I did shudder at the idea of a writing team directing, but then Paul Haggis used to write for Walker: Texas Ranger, so clearly that's no guide. Carrey and McGregor are always good value, and when the Rubber-faced Man tones it down a bit and gets serious he's really quite something - as likeable as Sandra Bullock. Well, that's pretty goddamned likeable, because Sandra Bullock is really, really likeable. You'd like to have her as your neighbour because you know she'd offer to drive the kids to school or whatever, or at least she would if she wasn't famous.

But I digress.

The trailer looks good, despite the film seeming to have seventeen inciting incidents when most films only need one. My non-extensive research suggests that this is a film of a book based on true events, so maybe that's why the structure is a little loose. I like that.

Let's remember, folks, it's refreshing to see an A-lister like Carrey take on such a whole-heartedly gay role, particularly in a mainstream comedy, and for that reason alone, I suggest you go see it.

Not me, however. I'll rent it in a year's time. Maybe. I don't get out enough.

Tangled

2010-11-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

Voices of Mandy Moore, Zach Levi, Donna Murphy, Ron Perlman, Paul F. Tompkins. Dir. Nathan Greno, Byron Howard (Bolt). Writers: Dan Fogelman (Bolt, Cars), the Grimm Brothers (Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, etc., you know, half the fairy tales there are).

It's a new version of the Rapunzel fairy tale. Just what the world needed. Okay, clearly I'm coming into this with a bad attitude, so I'll stop that now and try again.

It's a new version of the Rapunzel fairy tale. Fascinating!

God help me, I just can't do it.

Anyway, I don't know anything about any of these people, apart from the Grimms, obviously. And I did see Cars, which was okay. But I didn't see Bolt, surprise, surprise, despite having a little one who loves dogs or "daws" as she insists on calling them, completely incorrectly.

So, Tangled. The first trailer is a little uninspiring, isn't it? The second one is... well, it reminds me of the studio-imposed voiceover in Bladerunner (they were afraid the audience wouldn't know what was going on).

Anyway, this looks kinda nice, but I'm betting (a) it isn't as sharp as it thinks it is and (b) the horse is the best thing in it. My two-year-old will probably love it though.

If I want to watch a cartoon thing with a horse in it I'll watch Ponyo. And of course if you've seen Ponyo you may be able to correct me on there being a horse in it, because I haven't seen it, either.

The King's Speech

2010-11-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Derek Jacobi. Dir. Tom Hooper (The Damned United). Writer: David Seidler (various TV movies).

The story of King George VI of Britain, his impromptu ascent to the throne, and the speech therapist who makes sure he can talk to his subjects.

If you can set aside the odium of having a monarchy in the first place, which is difficult enough at the moment given the recent announcement of the biggest royal wedding in thirty years, which coincided with the announcement of swingeing cuts to welfare and public services in the UK, presumably to help pay for the wedding... do you know, I'm not sure I can? Didn't take my chill pills today, obviously. Oh look, if I was able to do it for The Queen (the film, not the old parasite) I can do it for this, but really, what are we thinking? A monarch? In this day and age? It's ludicrous.

Anyway.

So, this looks pretty good, as these things go. The cast are wonderful, and it's probably worth watching just for them. I suppose if you take it down to the level of three people trying to step up and do the job in front of them it becomes watchable, and no doubt we will identify with these likeable human beings and their struggle to make their way in the world. But really, isn't it time someone made an anti-monarchy film? Isn't it? Maybe that's the old bomb-thrower in my genes talking.

So if you're into all that royal crap go see it. It'd only make me angry so I won't. I'll watch Michael Collins instead.

Faster

2010-11-25T15:39:00.000-08:00

Duane Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Maggie Grace. Dir. George Tillman Jr (Notorious, Men of Honor, Soul Food). Writers: Tony (Bulletproof) and Joe (The Salton Sea) Gayton.

Ex-con sets out to avenge brother's death after heist double-cross years ago, tracked by veteran cop (Thornton) and an egocentric hit-man (Oliver Jackson-Cohen, possibly, hard to tell from the trailer). So far, so ho-hum.

I'm sure it's fine. Duane Johnson is a better actor than he's given credit for, and it might be interesting to see if Maggie Grace can grow into something better than her average-if-promising turns as Shannon in Lost and Liam Neeson's daughter-under-the-bed-who-will-be-taken in, um, Taken. (Some day I will write a sentence that's completely hyphenated).

I'm not bothered seeing this. It's sunny out. If I'm ever on a plane and it's on, then maybe. Otherwise no.

Love and Other Drugs

2010-11-25T15:26:00.000-08:00

Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, Oliver Platt. Dir. Edward Zwick (Defiance, Blood Diamond, The Last Samurai, Courage Under Fire, Legends of the Fall, Glory, About Last Night). Writer: Charles Randolph (The Interpreter, The Life of David Gale).

Alluring free spirit Hathaway won't be tied down, til charming pharmaceutical salesman Gyllenhall shows up. Then he gets the gig selling Viagra. Or something. I can't figure it out. Which might be a good thing. Trailer's a bit of a mess though.

Nah, you know what? I'm not buying this, despite the likeability of everyone involved. Looks like a mildly diverting way to waste an hour and a half, and my life is more valuable than that.

Open to correction as always, especially by someone who's actually seen it. But come on, you have to see a LOT of movies for this to be high on your list, right? Right?

Burlesque

2010-11-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

Cher, Christina Aguilera. Dir. Steve Antin. Writer: Steve Antin.

Small-town girl arrives in LA, works in burlesque club run by former dancer.

Now there's a logline just brimming over with dramatic tension.

My prediction: Complete bilge with lots of reasonably well-produced dancy-singy numbers. An extended Aguilera video, basically.

Who goes to see this rubbish? Not I, that's for sure. I couldn't even get through the trailer.

[Old fogey alert - not that I'm old] Don't bother with this. Check out Cyd Charisse and Gene Kelly's Broadway Melody number from Singin' in the Rain instead.

The Next Three Days

2010-11-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson. Dir. Paul Haggis (In the Valley of Elah, Crash). Writer: Paul Haggis, adapting the French film Anything for Her (Pour elle) by Fred Cavayé and Guillaume Lemans.

Lots of good things to be said for this movie. Neither Russell Crowe nor Liam Neeson say yes unless they're convinced the script is completely fucking awesome, and while Rusty also delivers I have the suspicion that Liam Neeson's entire appearance may be in the trailer (this is because he plays Basil Exposition). The story's a bit far-fetched, but so what? Movies are supposed to be far-fetched sometimes.

Anyway, Crash was great, and while I haven't seen In the Valley of Elah (since I married a Frenchwoman I've seen very few Tommy Lee Jones movies as she can't understand his mumbling), I trust Paul Haggis, Quantum of Solace aside (although he just did tweaks on that one, it wasn't his baby like this one is). Anyway, this looks like it could be pretty good, if it doesn't take itself too seriously.

Not that I'll find out any time soon, of course.

Contrast and compare.

Horrible plinky piano music aside, isn't it interesting how different the trailers are? In Pour elle, it's very difficult to tell what the hell the story is about. Not saying this is a bad thing, necessarily. Maybe their Basil Exposition isn't famous enough.

Due Date

2010-11-25T14:34:00.000-08:00

Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifianakis and Michelle Monaghan. Dir: Todd Phillips (The Hangover, Old School, Road Trip). Writers: Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland (both American Dad! and King of the Hill), (screenplay), Adam Sztykiel (Made of Honour), Todd Phillips.

The same team as made The Hangover, plus writers from American Dad and King of the Hill, which can only be good, directing the fat stoner guy from The Hangover with one of the great comedic actors of our times, in a Planes Trains and Automobiles-stylee thing where Downey must get to LA before blah blah blah who cares about the plot?

Can Phillips do it again? The Hangover was, to my very great surprise, absolutely brilliant. And I hate all that booze-and-drug-culture crap. Didn't like the Mike Tyson bit though. Anyway. I don't think Phillips can do it again. I think he might have something quite different here. Possibly even better than the Hangover.

Look, it's one of those things - it looks funny, both characters look interesting, the dialogue is really, really good, but it might be one of those films where if you've seen the trailer you've seen all the best bits.

Let me know which, if you do go see it. I bet it's really rather good, right? I'll keep an eye out for it on free-to-air TV in about 18 months' time, I promise.

Big recommendation, by the way - Tropic Thunder on DVD/Blu-ray with the cast commentary. Downey Jr does his in character. Both characters. It's fantastic. Better than the film itself, even.

Unstoppable

2010-11-25T14:21:00.000-08:00

Denzel Washington, Chris Pine, Rosario Dawson. Dir. Tony Scott (The Taking of Pelham 123, Déja-vu, Domino, Man on Fire, Spy Game, Enemy of the State, Crimson Tide, True Romance, Top Gun). Writer Mark Bomback (Race to Witch Mountain, Die Hard 4.0).

A veteran engineer (Denzel, presumably) and a young conductor (Pine, ditto) race to avert disaster as a huge un-manned runaway freight train piles towards a city.

Tony Scott, eh? Eh? Yes. The less-sainted brother is hugely reliable - you know for sure you're getting a work with pace, suspense, great visuals and movement, decent performances... and probably a slightly cheesy Hollywood ending-with-an-edge. Hard cheese, perhaps?

If I was out on a Friday night and this was on, I'd consider it. Not that that's about to happen.

I can't resist it, I'm sorry...

Training Day?

Megamind

2010-11-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

Voices of Will Ferrell, Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey and the great David Cross. Dir. Tom McGrath (Madagascar). Writers Alan J. Schoolcraft, Brent Simons.

What's an anti-hero without his nemesis?

Do you like Will Ferrell? Do you? I do. I'm not sure why I do, but I do. Anchorman, possibly. Yes, that's it. Anchorman. I've actually seen Anchorman, so I'll stop right there.

This looks a giggle, everyone in it looks good value, it'll be sharply written and well-paced if Madagascar was anything to go by (both those films had major flaws but they were at least witty). Will the kids like it? Sure they will. Kids are cleverer than you think. And even if they don't have a clue what's going on, they're clever enough to pretend that they do. Besides, the faces look funny, it's full of colour and everything moves really fast.

I'd go see this if I were you. But I'm not you so I'll be waiting for the iTunes download.