Welcome to Ollivander's

April 7, 2013

2013-01-31T10:19:00.000-08:00

Hmm?

2008-04-18T21:08:00.001-07:00

Hmm.

Charlie's evil.

2008-02-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

I wish Jack would speak in a British accent.

Take Care of Yourself this Holiday Season

2007-12-06T08:08:00.001-08:00

Kung Pao! CHICKEN!!

2007-10-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

From The Daily Mail:

Why did 3000 chickens cross the road? Because the lorry they were in crashed on one of Scotland's busiest motorways, that's why.

Thousands of runaway chickens brought traffic to a standstill after a transporter lorry crashed on a busy road near Glasgow.

Bemused traffic police looked on as thousands of chickens enjoyed their few moments of freedom.

The A80 heading towards Glasgow was shut for more than eight hours as the birds were rounded up by a specialist team drafted in by police.

The lorry carrying 3,000 live chickens jack-knifed near Castlecary at around 4.30am causing feathery mayhem for motorists travelling south and north.

The southbound carriageway was shut throughout the rush-hour, causing major tailbacks, with the M80 and M876 approach roads also closed.

Central Scotland Police said the 45-year-old driver of the lorry was treated at hospital for serious, but non-life threatening, back injuries.

The A80 is the main route into Glasgow from Stirling, Perth and the north of Scotland and is a notorious blackspot for traffic delays.

The accident took place on one of Scotland's busiest roads.

There's one! Police faced an impossible job rounding up the escaping chickens.

The crates of chickens were scattered along the side of the road causing mayhem - and long traffic jams - for many motorists.

Daniel Radcliffe in the year 2058.

2007-07-14T02:34:00.000-07:00

His career never took off after the deathly hallows movie, and he was typecast for the rest of his life. Sad, really.

I bet I know who's excited this month...

2007-07-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

This guy.

Unacceptable.

2007-04-07T12:15:00.000-07:00

"Insomnia has it is advantages"? C'mon, Taco Bell. Really.

...and I happen to be awesome!

2007-01-26T11:40:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing to be smug about in life, it's your credit score.

Randomly Delicious!

2007-01-03T13:24:00.000-08:00

Maybe this video will help beat down the sour aftertaste of Jeremy's last post. I suppose just about random in content as anything you could find on YouTube, but compounded in this case because I found it while searching for a Seasame Street clip. Go figure.

Why???

2006-12-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

I need to know the opposite of the phrase "Kudos, Celine Dion."

This post goes against everything Ollivander stands for. Someone else please make another post to knock this off the top spot.

The Colonel would like to know...

2006-12-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

Are we still checking this blog? 2 comments in the last 7 months suggests not much.

Truly the Drink of Gods.

2006-09-30T01:18:00.000-07:00

"Punchy" recently welcomed Island Citrus Guava, a new flavor, to the Hawaiian Punch flavor family. While, not as good as the original (Fruit Juicy Red) I would still go as far to say, it's pretty dang ol' good. I know what you're thinking, Isn't this the some ought sixth Hawaiian Punch flavor? Yes, that may be true but Island Citrus Guava isn't like those other crap flavors, let me tell you.

As I'm sure you know, all HP flavors consist of 7 tropical fruits blended together. The first thing you encounter with ICG is the first four backbone flavors from the original FJR (Pineapple, Orange, Passionfruit and Apple) you know that typical fruitpunch flavor and this makes for a reassuring "hey this is Hawaiian Punch" feeling, that the "other" HP flavors fail to deliver. After this traditional opening, however, is where ICG really defines itself. For the last three flavors, there is a suprise, there are really four. That's right you heard me correctly, there's Eight flavors blended perfectly. The last four being: Apricot, Papaya, Gauva and the kicker Lime juice. These last four flavors come together in an interesting, conflicting way, the effect being sort of like a Grapefruit Gauva hybrid taste that is very sweet, but not really. It's actually rather hard to descibe, being so complex; yet interesting how the eight juices somehow come together to create a distict two part flavor.

So, in conclusion, when the two parts combine, it creates an overall taste that can only be described as some sort of wedding punch, minus the gingerale. All and all I give this cookey HP Blend a 4 out of 5.

However, I can see how many could dismiss this drink as being too sweet, or probably more commonly as being too complex or "too fruity", without truly savoring it.

Now That's a Pun!

2006-08-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

More announcers should do it this way.

2006-07-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

If Binky the Clown ever did voice work on television commercials, it might have sounded something like this old Atari commercial.

Sassy New Summer Do!

2006-06-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

One pair of gift-wrapping scissors and twenty minutes later...

BEFORE

AFTER

Sooty gets some booty

2006-06-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hooray for fun!

2006-05-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

And fun is hooray!

CATALONIA IS A NATION

2006-05-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

This photograph, I feel, makes a powerful statement. I apologize about the offensive material in the foreground, but Catalonia's nationhood must be recognized.

"Attack Helicopters"

2006-04-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to make posting Marshall interviews a trend, I present this footage which was recently rediscovered. Shot five and a half years ago, this exchange provides viewers with a glimpse into the darker complexities that make Marshall so intriguing. Enjoy.

Hugest Nerds...Ever?

2006-04-15T15:58:00.000-07:00

It's the song from the 70's that secretly tricked kids into joining the Army.

2006-04-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

Tobacco Is Foul

2006-03-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

Remember this short-lived and largely unsuccessful Texas anti-smoking campaign? It featured a hip-hop duck who tries to scare kids away from tobacco products by portraying the effects of smoking and dipping in a brutally honest and realistic light, as you will see here?

Remember? Don't ever forget.

I say "short-lived" but after visiting www.ducktexas.com, I guess they're still around in some form.

"Duck here, what's up?"

Ever Seen Marshall on TV?

2006-03-21T09:46:00.000-08:00

NEW BLOG!

2006-03-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

If you get a chance, go to my newest project, The Daily Trivial News!. Enjoy!