One man's life with a progress bar

Windows 8, Vista 0

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 20:53:00 +0000

Yay, Windows 8 everyone. Now it does the work for you and you can all go home early. Doesn't it seem a lifetime ago when Vista came out? You know, when you had to click on things and load them and use Word, ahhh, the old days.

Anyway, that reminded me of a long lost snippet of Mr Vista history that never came out. And here it is. Something and nothing really - but then hey, that's binary for you!

New short starring "Mr Vista"

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 16:22:00 +0000

A cool new film from my good friends Nick Scott and Jonathan Rhodes (aka Mr Vista)

LA Shorts Fest

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 20:32:00 +0000

Its official!

Big in LA

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:36:00 +0000

Good news Vistarons!

Mr Vista will be screening at the LA Shorts Fest, next month, July 21st-19th. If there are any US fans out there, they are welcome to my pass and to be the official Mr Vista representative!

Leave a comment if you are interested.

Mr Vista lives! (kind of)

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:24:00 +0000

The man behind the enigmatic face of Mr Vista is back into his real job of 'real' acting. Check out the above film PLUS his new TV ad.

Hasta La Vista

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 22:47:00 +0000

Please upgrade your copy of Mr Vista. It has expired.

The final ever Mr Vista. Thank goodness. Please return your normal, repetitive lives. Thank you.

Mini Me

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 13:37:00 +0000

You know that minimise button? Now THAT could be very helpful. Perhaps on your waistline if you have been sitting in front of progress bars recently!

Filmed from thoughts that leaked from the mind of Michelle Goode.

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 21:42:00 +0000

We all know that impatience is the curse of the IT user. I mean, come on, we aren't getting any younger are we? And yet there we are, wasting the best years of our lives watching a spiny thing or a little egg timer if we are mac addicts. And that egg-timer just flips around when it is empty anyway.

Okay, so maybe we weren't actually planning on doing anything with these 'best years', as we generally fear the outside and other humans. But that isn't the point!

So what is the point? Oh yes, today's lesson. Don't click away on the mouse like a twitching chimp, just give in, surrender, and wait for the egg timer.

Today's episode is from the prolific pen of Michelle Goode.

The REAL Mr Vista

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 11:08:00 +0000

Yes, it is Mr Vista 2011. Unfortunately for this young lad he is not in fact celebrating his love of geeky web comedy. I mean, his crown isn't even blue! Instead he is the winner of this.

Mr Vista is Fragged Off

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 14:44:00 +0000

What happens when you reach half way through series 3 of a so-called 'comedy' web series? Well it seems that Mr Vista has become clogged up with stupid ideas and is hampered by repetitive, almost formulaic thoughts. Luckily, the colleague is on hand to perform a defrag!

Written by Michelle Goode. Music by Louis Derry

Mr Vista gets a Virus

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 18:21:00 +0000

Mr Vista is stricken with a spot of the winter flu. But, hey, that's no problem for the geek-meister. He has just had his anti-virus application installed. Just as well his brain doesn't contain too many files!

Guest writer: Michelle Goode. Music by Louis Derry.

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:55:00 +0000

Mr Vista is now available to view on your Roku streaming video unit - via blip.tv

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 12:09:00 +0000

Mr Vista has one final attempt at getting his Windows 7 inspired advert made. We have heard that he has been working on some 'exciting' ideas - he just needs to print them out. Yes, we can all see where this is going! But go with it. At least it is short. And the last one of these advert thingies.

PLUS - don't forget that there are some shameless and commercially suspect Mr Vista gifts for that geek in your life. If you don't have a geek in your life then you probably are one yourself. In which case you don't have any friends. So, hey, buy a comedy mug for yourself. It may fill that aching emotional void. Cheers then.

Pop to the shop

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 11:45:00 +0000

Mr Vista was so pleased to discover that you internet people enjoyed his half-assed spoof of the Windows 7 advert - that he has decided to do a take 2. This cyber stardom may all be going to his head, or at least his hat!

Mr Vista's 7 second guide

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 17:09:00 +0000

Mr Vista is back for one more desperate clutch at online fame, now that being a youtube star is generally yesterday's news and everyone is watching Anne Widdicombe instead.

The blue-hatted legend starts will some little teaser episodes to ease you back in. He got quite upset at the "Windows 7 second guide" adverts on TV and so tried to make his own instead.

New theme tune

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 18:18:00 +0000

Mr Vista by OscarLater

Check out the new Mr Vista theme tune from Louis Derry.

Mr Vista on Comedy Central

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 20:56:00 +0000

Birthdays are for losers

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Short Films | Funny Animations

Go on, give Mr Vista your support (ie vote) over on Atom and lets get him on Comedy Central!

Mr Vista yet to come

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:30:00 +0000

A video that should appeal to you Vista fans - the future of the Vista experience.
(not made by us)

Mr Vista is a millionaire

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:41:00 +0000

Just a quick note to say that Mr Vista has now exceeded 1 million views on Dailymotion alone. YouTube going well also.

We were on www.youtube.com/itsmrvista but they kicked off whoever was on www.youtube.com/mrvista so we could have that too!

One of my faves...

Thanks

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:35:00 +0000

Mr Vista crosses the 1 million view mark on Dailymotion. Awesome-tastic.

Thank goodness

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 09:21:00 +0000

Mr Vista will be less visible for a couple of months while we try to get additional funding for Series 3. There are some great scripts in and some top secret funding opportunities 'just a few clicks away'.

Of course the downbeat spirit of Mr Vista prevents me from actually getting excited about it all. Plus, the realisation that none of this matters anyway. Yeah! Pointless lives! Just the way we like it.

So please now return to you repetitive existence. Until Series 3 is back on perhaps play the fun real life Mr Vista game. It is called 'how little impact do I make on the world?'. It is easy. Simply ask yourself...

If you didn't make it to ever see Mr Vista Series 3 :( and you died tomorrow how would anyone know? Because:

your blog wasn't updated
your turn on a facebook game wasn't taken
your productivity at work decreased
your productivity at work increased!
no one would notice for months until the firebrigade has to break into your flat and they find a skeleton hunched over the keyboard with a half typed search on google maps for the nearest doctor because you couldn't remember the emergency number was 999.

Cheers then! Have fun :)

*top progress bar shows the new 'rural English' language setting in Vista.

How 'hot' is Mr Vista?

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 14:59:00 +0000

We were all very proud when YouTube wanted to feature Mr Vista as a case study in using the new 'Hot Spot' feature.

Recognition, fame, pride. We all need such things. And who better to deliver it then a large advert funded corporation!

This new feature allows you to see how a video holds the attention of the viewer. Adam Sense, from YouTube, talks through the system and how it could be used to make Mr Vista a richer experience for viewers everywhere. The man is clearly understands the exciting nature of this new artform with an eye to the sensibilities of its growing audience and the boundaries of its aesthetic potential.

The quiz results (so far)

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 14:56:00 +0000

'Self reflection' and 'personal diagnosis' is always a great way to waste time. And I am happy to help you all in doing it.

However, some bad news. It would seem that the majority of 'Vistarons' are in fact too cool for Mr Vista. Here are three tasks to do this week which should help you all get back on the pointless treadmill of existence where you know that you belong:

1/ Try to install linux on your Playstation3. Its geeky. Pointless. And turns a fun device into a machine that requires constant IT maintenance and updates. Brilliant!

2/ Rip all your DVDs. Why have bulky DVDs that you feel obliged to lend to friends? Sod that. Instead spend days ripping them all to your media server - even better news - you may need to upgrade your 'g' wireless to 'n' to make it stream okay. What a treat! Bonus points for spending hours researching the best codec to rip to. Super extra bonus for picking a codec that is amazing but that no-one in the world uses.

3/ Set up a fake profile. Don't have enough 'friends' on facebook etc. Set up a fake one instead. Someone that could, in fact, actually be popular. Someone who looks like he may go out and do things and would have an opinion of things. Word of caution however - prepare for instant depression as your imaginary person turns out to be more popular than you within 14 hours.

Take the Mr Vista quiz!

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 09:44:00 +0000

See how much of a geek you really are! And you are off to a great start already by...

a/ being here
b/ thinking about taking a nerdy online quiz

So go for it.

This page cannot be found

mrvista@projectorfilms.com (Tim Clague) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:05:00 +0000

You know how it is, you are merrily 'surfing' the web - or at least floating on it in a blow up dingy - when you hit the dreaded...

404 error

aka - page not found.

Well now, at last, that need not be the boring dead end it is today. Not if webmasters everywhere ditch that dull, lifeless bit of text and instead select one of "Mr Vista's stupidly short yet depressingly accurate portrayals of the randomness and repetition of life as typified by following a dead link to an empty page" clips. Or, for those who prefer to have things explained using old fashioned notions of 'truth' or 'accuracy' - here are some 5 second clips you can stick on dead pages.*

Why let people guess whether you have stuffed up your website build? Be proud of it.

See you in the future folks!

*If you have a website then you will probably find your webspace provider has a folder of error pages you can adapt. Have look in your server space. Simply add the code for the clip you like to the html of the 404 error code page. You get the embed code you need to add by clicking on the 'menu' button of the clip you like and then selecting 'URL and embed code'.