1. Most important, Mt. Zion’s public confession of the Gospel is in accord with the Holy Bible and therefore, this congregation is doggedly committed to historic, full throated Lutheranism as confessed in the Book of Concord. Hands down, this is non-negotiable. The people at Mt. Zion, from my observations, view Lutheran doctrine and practice to be the solution, not the problem. Let us not take this for granted.
2. Strong singing, both for well known hymns as well as punishing hymns that I lovingly inflict on you.
3. A solid VBS program, auspiciously devoid of the typical children’s ministry gimmicks. Gina Wittner has done fine work on this and I only expect it to get better.
4. Members attend funerals, even for people they did not know very well. This is the way it should be. I love it.
5. Strong and theologically committed Elders. This is immensely helpful for me as a young pastor.
6. The WIM/ Ladies Aid does their work, raising money, sending cards and flowers, visiting shut-ins, quilting, etc. like clockwork and frankly with far too little recognition. In fact, they probably do far more than I know simply because they do it so quietly and behind the scenes.
7. Weekly communion. You will never leave wishing that this would have been a “Communion Sunday.” So also, the young people never walk into church and groan because today we have Communion. Communion is just a part of the culture of the church, as basic to the Divine Service as the Lord’s Prayer or the Sermon.
8. The people at Mt. Zion are genuinely friendly (in a “we’re interested in you” sort of way, not a “please, please, please come to our poor church” sort of way). This quality is impossible to teach. It is a gift. Thank God for it.
9. Bible Studies are well attended. Sunday mornings often see attendance in excess of 30 people and Thursday morning Genesis Bible Study can be anywhere between 15 and 20 people. I would like to improvement in this area, but truthfully, this is a very positive thing for us.
10. Worship from a hymnal. Believe me, many churches today attempt to be trendy and “relevant”. But, when a church changes practice to appeal to the changing tastes of a culture, you can expect the practice to change almost constantly. Not only does this create instability for our oldest and youngest members, but history has demonstrated that churches who first change their practice eventually change their doctrine to keep pace. Mt. Zion has demonstrated a settled commitment to the rich, timeless practices of the church, especially as expressed in the hymnals or our church.
11. The Adult Instruction Class. This class is usually held twice a year and the attendance on the first week is usually between 12-20 people. Even though the class is designed for those who have no exposure to Christianity, the content of the class is both remarkably thorough and interesting. A team of committed individuals is now being assembled to do a better job expanding the “presence” of the AIC in the congregation, but this really is a great asset for our future.
12. The giving toward the annual budget has remained sturdy in an economy in which charitable giving in general has gone down. Recently, I learned that the LCMS’s lending agency called LCEF has been dealing with an unprecedented number of delinquent accounts in our area. This at a time when Mt. Zion has been making roughly 6 times our minimum payment and will soon pay off the last dollars of our only remaining debt. Granted, giving was off of 2008 levels, but not by much, and not enough to significantly impact the ministry. God be praised.

I can think of many more, but for now, I thought you would like the reminder of a few reasons why there isn’t a better church in the whole city… bias notwithstanding.
Yours in Christ,

Pastor Melius

Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
But let us encourage one another. – Hebrews 10:24,25

The single most revealing statistic indicating a congregation’s health and vitality? By far and away, it is attendance at worship. That’s why we report our congregation’s attendance in every Sunday bulletin.

At Mt. Zion, new members and transfers into our church have outnumbered funerals and transfers out for a number of years. In other words, we are not a “declining” congregation. The Adult Instruction Class is generally well attended. But, at the same time, average attendance has held steady, if not declined slightly, over the same time period. So if there are more members, then why doesn’t the attendance reflect it? Must be that current members are attending with less frequency.

It is not uncommon that I hear the question or some form of it, “Where in the Bible does it say you have to go to church?” “Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing,” says the writer of the Hebrews. It’s sort of a comfort to know that, even in the early church, some Christians had to be encouraged to come to church!

It is also a good reminder of how important it is to come to church. You just cannot follow Jesus on your own. Discipleship is never do-it-yourself. Christianity is a group thing.

Who is a Christian? Someone who has not given up meeting together. That’s not all that needs to be said about Christianity, but down through the ages we have no record of a single faithful disciple who refuses to gather with other fellow believers.

“I just didn’t get anything out of church today,” someone says as they leave the church on Sunday. Such a statement betrays a misunderstanding of church on a number of levels. First, the Word of God never returns void. It always brings forth fruit. The Absolution always forgives. The Holy Communion is always the body and blood given to guard and keep us in the true faith. We may not feel changed, but we never leave church the same as when we came. We always get something out of it.
Not only that, but Paul says, “that we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” One of the reasons I must go to church is that my neighbor needs me there.

One reason why people may avoid Sunday services together is that it is so much easier to be vaguely spiritual, to cling to your cherished notions, and misconceptions when you have no fellow Christians to challenge and “spur one another.”

Finally, I cannot forget that Christ Himself likens church attendance to attendance at an important feast. Luke 14:16-24. Missing church is akin to skipping a date with my wife. I might do it, but not without consequences. At the very least, it requires an explanation, and it probably wouldn’t hurt to apologize. But, if I stand her up and I don’t have a good explanation and I refuse to apologize, then I destroy the marriage. How often, when my wife prepares dinner or makes reservations at a restaurant for a meal, how often must I sit down and eat with her? Every time.

How often, when the Lord prepares His table for me, sets out a foretaste of the feast to come, how often must I go and eat with him? Every time. Every time He sets the table and prepares the meal.

So, let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing. The year of 2010 is a good year to commit yourself to weekly church attendance.

Yours affectionately in Christ,

Pastor Melius

Prior to 1520, church life consisted of rules and regulations, of legalistic manipulations encouraging a piety of monasticism, pilgrimages, masses, Mary worship, indulgences and relic collection. Pastors were well paid and lazy. Large cathedrals were built on the backs of Christians who gave money for the purchase of indulgences (not the first, and certainly not the last, of ill-conceived church fund-raisers) There was no lack of bustling religious activity, but the average Christian under the Roman Catholic papacy had little understanding of the Gospel. Instead of trusting the Lord Jesus, they feared him. Instead of confessing their sins and receiving absolution, they paid for their sins with penance and “Hail Marys.” Instead of the comfort of the Gospel, they were flogged with the Law.

Nevertheless, conduct a demographic study of the Germans under the Roman papacy, and you would find a multiplicity of engaging and effective church programs, strong worship attendance and effective stewardship campaigns. But, all of it was driven by the Law. Despite externals, the church had never been weaker. The Gospel, after all, had fallen silent.

In the decades following the Reformation, historians and theologians report a reversal. The living voice of the Gospel sounded first in Wittenburg and spread from there throughout Germany and surrounding lands. The Bible was translated. Compelling Christian treatises were published. The Catechism made its way into the hands of children. Finally, the poor people of Germany were free of the theological oppression of the pope and his suppression of the Gospel. The Word of God made the Reformation a tremendous success.
But, sadly, at the same time, Luther and his fellow Reformers learned quickly that most of the Germans would use their newly won freedom to indulge a life of a sin. Pastors complained of poor church attendance, and poor attendance at catechism instruction. One visitor reported, “You’ll find more of them out fishing than at service.” Reports flooded Luther’s study that blasphemy, fornication, adultery, drunkenness, and gambling abounded unchecked. Churches were virtually empty while taverns were full. The laity, no longer compelled by the pope to support the church, largely stopped paying their offerings, so that pastors often lived at poverty level. Religious indifference became an epidemic. “The peasants learned nothing, knew nothing, prayed not at all, did nothing except to abuse religious freedom, and did not go to confession or commune.” One pastor complained that the people didn’t care about his warnings and admonitions. “They answer ‘why pray? The Turk and the Pope are not after us’!”

Of course, the Catholic papacy loved to point to this “failure” of Luther’s Reformation. They concluded that Luther’s Gospel of free grace was too dangerous, that it was too easy for common people to abuse. On the whole, they were right. Here is the reality. In this sinful world, if you tell people that their sins are forgiven and they are free, they will likely abuse that freedom and use it as a license to live against God. The Reformation represents but one example. Our Lord Jesus represents another. He rode meekly into Jerusalem, without pomp or presumption. And, they killed Him. The Gospel suffers abuse.

The same is true today. That church is “healthiest” which maintains the purity of the Word of God and the “alone” of the “by grace alone.” We could always resort to the law, to subtle pressure and guilt tactics in order to grow the church. We could manufacture the appearance of health. But, a truly healthy church grows only by the Gospel. And, the Gospel is not the Gospel unless it risks the possibility of abuse.

Who would have thought that, in the midst of so many “failures,” the German Lutheran churches were, in fact, getting better? But that is precisely what was happening! We should remember this today. As we continue the work of the Reformation, we remember that true health is rarely reflected externally.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor Melius

To be honest, the one which might have the most potential is the one which, as a church, we have least devoted our energy and money up to this point, namely, “works of mercy.” A fair portion of the ordinary church budget is already devoted to the other three quadrants, but how much of our yearly budget have we carved out for giving to the needy, the marginalized and the neglected? The answer? 0%. None.

This might not surprise you. After all, is this the church’s job? If the church is supposed to feed the hungry or clothe the naked, then why do we have a government? And, after all, isn’t the church to concern itself merely with the Gospel and the holy things of God? In fact, what need is there for a specific section of the endowment for the poor?

The problem, of course, is the pesky testimony of the New Testament. The book of Acts reports that large and organized collections of money were taken to assist other Christians in need. In fact, these collections were so large at times that a detailed system of distribution was organized in the form of the Seven in Acts 6. The church did these things. And who can forget the words of Christ after dividing the sheep from the goats in Matthew 25, “You gave me food…you gave me drink…you welcomed me…you clothed me…you visited me.” Christians have been taught to recognize that in serving their neighbor, they are actually serving Jesus.

It would be hasty to conclude from the annual budget, though, that the Christians at Mt. Zion don’t realize this. I wasn’t surprised to learn that many of our members give regular contributions to the Denver Rescue Mission, the Salvation Army and other such relief agencies. They have continued to make such contributions even in the face of the high overhead and the annoying regular phone call pleas from such organizations. The parable of the sheep and goats has made an impression on them; it has formed in them a desire to put the needs of others before their own. It is as though they’ve recognized the miserly treatment of the poor in the budget of their church and wanted to make up for it in some other way.

Why, in a society that encourages much self-centeredness and personal acquisitiveness, do these Christians buck cultural trends and take responsibility for the needs of people who aren’t among their own family or friends? I think it is because they know by heart the story of the Nativity, the story of a God who came among us as a helpless, needy baby, born to peasant parents, lying in a feed trough.

“There are many of you,” Martin Luther scolded his sixteenth century German congregation, “who think to yourselves: ‘If only I had been there! How quick I would have been to help the little baby!’…You say that because you know how great Christ is, but if you had been there at that time you would have done no better than the people of Bethlehem…. Why don’t you do it now? You have Christ in your neighbor.”

Christ gives us Himself, present in the needs of our neighbor. The one who was born in a Bethlehem stable commanded us to care for “the least of these.” We cannot see Christ, we do not truly worship him or follow him without obeying him in our acts of mercy to those in need. Thanks be to God that Mt. Zion has created, in the form of this Endowment Fund, an outlet for us to take care of these little ones, and without the overhead and without the irksome phone calls to boot.
If you already donate money to social agencies to help the needy, consider donating to the Endowment Fund instead. Designate it to the quadrant “works of mercy.”

Yours in Christ,

Pastor.

Unfortunately, the news reports and papers are already lumping all Lutherans together with the ELCA. The Denver Post’s Thursday morning head-line is a good example: “Lutherans allow differing views on homosexuality.” It would be ambitious to expect the Denver Post to care about the differences between the ELCA and LCMS (to say nothing of WELS, ELS, AALC, etc.) Nevertheless, differences there are. So, once again, we are given the unenviable task of stating loud and clear that we are Lutherans that do not support the ELCA’s position on this issue. To put it in the simplest terms, this decision of the ELCA is a clear-cut refusal to heed the obvious, relevant Bible passages: Leviticus 18:22,24, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, to name the clearest. Evasion of these passages requires pages and pages of duplicitous, interpretational gymnastics, an obnoxious example of which is provided in the “social statement” just passed by ELCA convention delegates.

Beyond this, however, we are wise to consider what precipitated such a decision and take heed lest the early seeds of this false teaching be found in our own midst. An old Latin phrase puts it: Obsta principiis or Resist the beginnings!
Many of you will be asking yourselves how a church of the sola Scriptura could be so unconvinced by the manifold biblical prohibitions against homo-sexuality. The answer to your question goes a long way back…

…All the way back, in fact, to the advent of women’s ordination.

Oddly enough, much of the rhetoric used to justify women pastors has been recycled and spruced up to justify gay and lesbian pastors. In fact, the pattern is remarkably predictable. Lutheran or not, nearly every church that chose to ordain women is now facing similar pressures to ordain homosexuals, and there is not a single church which currently ordains homosexuals which doesn’t already ordain women. I don’t think this is a coincidence.

Don’t get me wrong. The two issues are not exactly the same. Homosexuality is sinful. Woman-hood is not. But, ordination of either betrays certain dangerous presuppositions about the biblical words that we cannot afford to ignore. Here, in my view, are those presuppositions:

1. The appeal to Galatians 3:28. The assumption here is that, for Christians, their inclusion in Christ Jesus has freed them from their existence in the order of creation. As a Christian, it is argued, there is no meaningful distinction between Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female nor, for that matter – you guessed it – straight or gay. Those distinctions may have mattered before, under the Law, but not for those who are freed from the Law by the Gospel. Thus, whatever might have been important concerning “maleness” and “femaleness” no longer applies. This wrong opinion can be summarized thus: the only difference between boys and girls is biology. How wrong! You already knew from creation alone that boys and girls, men and women, are deeply distinct from one another, to say nothing of words in Genesis “male and female He created them.” St. Paul uses this deep-seated distinction rooted in creation to prohibit both women’s authority in the church (1 Timothy 2 12,13) and homosexuality (Romans 1:26,27).
2. The notion that the Biblical writers were conditioned by their culture and time, so that what they said then concerning significant moral issues had only temporary significance; “what it meant” then is not necessarily “what it means” for us today. Thus did the ELCA argue 40 years ago to favor women pastors; thus have they argued recently to favor homosexual pastors. I think you can recognize the danger here. If we approach the Bible as a culturally conditioned document rather than a timelessly divine document, who decides what is and what is not culturally conditioned? Who says what is right and wrong, true and false? In the ELCA, apparently, the judge and jury is no longer the text of Holy Scripture, but rather the transient whims of a bi-annual church convention. Not good.
3. The compliance with faddish cultural movements rather than sturdy biblical understanding. Women’s ordination in the ELCA (and every other church body, for that matter) came on the heels of the women’s liberation movement in the United States. The Bible hadn’t changed. There were no revolutionary biblical discoveries or new theological insights. Cultural forces, formidable indeed, tricked a majority of the members of the ELCA to compromise and ordain women. A generation later, when winds of change demanded recognition for the legitimacy of the gay lifestyle, the same church body has compromised again. St. Paul’s words of warning are apt: “The time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” (2 Timothy 4:3)

What warnings might we heed in the LCMS from what we have witnessed in the ELCA? Mainly, we should commit ourselves again to the order or creation. “Maleness and femaleness” matter. Boys and girls should be treated differently, not as though one were more valuable or superior than the other, but as unique creatures in the sight of God. In the church, we should not try to homogenize the role of men and women. Some things are given by God for men, such as preaching and teaching and leading, and some things are given by God for women, such as nurturing and serving and caring for children. If we permit this basic biblical affirmation to be degraded or limited, blurring the distinction between men and women, we have significantly weakened our ability to answer the question, “why can’t a woman preach?” And, if we can’t answer that question with clarity and resolve, the next one in line, “why can’t a woman marry another woman?” will be no easier.

All in all, the saddest aspect of these ELCA decisions is not the sidestepping of the Law of God, but rather the sidestepping of the Gospel. We poor sinners need the Gospel. The Word of God offers no other consolation. But, the only person who will hear this Gospel of Christ is the person whose sin has been called what it is – sin. So, all we do by excusing real sin is to rob sinners of the consolation they need to hear in the Gospel. It should break our heart that a 1000+ person assembly debated strenuously for over four days to find a way to excuse a sin for which Our Lord had already atoned and which could have been speedily absolved in His name had they merely been willing to repent. May the Lord have mercy on us and deliver us from the same fate.

And yet, Our Lord instituted the Sacrament with a single cup. A single cup strongly bears witness to the unity we confess in the Sacrament. A single cup can be a weighty and beautiful thing, a vessel more reverent and worthy of the Lord’s Blood than anything made of glass (or worse, plastic). As reverent as we try to be with individual glasses, it is hard to pull off. They aren’t historic (the first LCMS church to use them was in 1918!) and they are reminiscent of other things (shot glasses, toasting, etc.) It is hard to distribute them gracefully, and it is common-place for the trays to be sloppy and sticky with wine after the distribution. Plus, their historic origins lie firmly in the churches which rejected the real presence of the physical body and blood of Jesus in the Sacrament. To this day, outside of North America, there are few places where individual communion cups are common among those who confess the real presence.

Most ironic, though, is that the individual cups tend to be pretty unsanitary. Whereas the Chalice is made of precious metals that react with the alcohol in the wine to create a reasonably sterile environment and the rim is wiped between each sip, the little glasses hold bacteria and have frequent contact with the number-one germ carrier of man: his hands. People reach out and touch the rim of the individual glasses. That is how they pick them up. By the time of distribution they’ve shaken hands with a number of people (in fact this is the number one way disease and colds are transmitted), wiped their noses, touched the pews, the hymnals, etc. Their own hands are their own worst enemies. But their own hands aren’t the only ones. Those glasses have been touched on the rim a number of times before they get there and they are brushed by other communicants. So while the Chalice has the gross-out factor, it is far more sanitary than the cups.

I’m not making this up. The Center for Disease Control, in 1998, studied the use of the chalice in Communion and concluded:

that a theoretic risk of transmitting infectious diseases by using a common communion cup exists, but that the risk is so small that it is undetectable. The CDC has not been called on to investigate any episodes or outbreaks of infectious diseases that have been allegedly linked to the use of a common communion cup… In summary, the risk for infectious disease transmission by a common communion cup is very low, and appropriate safeguards – that is, wiping the interior and exterior rim between communicants, use of care to rotate the cloth during use, and use of a clean cloth for each service – would further diminish this risk.

The truth is, squeamishness aside, shaking hands, pushing a grocery cart, putting on your shoes or standing in line at the movies are significantly more dangerous activities than drinking the Lord’s blood from the Chalice.
But what of this idea that the Lord’s Blood might carry disease or sickness? Is it possible? Yes. There is no promise of physical protection from germs or disease in the Sacrament. The promise is that Our Lord’s Body and Blood are there for us to eat and drink for the forgiveness of sins. It will be for our good. That is a sure and certain promise. But sometimes Our Lord sends crosses. It is possible, at least hypothetically, that we could grow sick, be disabled, or even die by something transmitted through the Chalice or a glass that held the Blood of Christ. I don’t think it is likely. But there is no promise of God that it won’t happen. But where Our Lord sends crosses, He also sends strength. If this be His will, so be it. It will be for good.

In the meantime, I count myself highly privileged to consume whatever is left in the Chalice at the end of the distribution, germs and all. If there were something harmful in the Chalice, I would catch it. The truth is, in the over three years since I’ve been doing this, I’ve only been sick once and I’m quite certain I caught it from my kids. But, even if communing from the Chalice should mean a cross, I’ll gladly bear it. For the Blood of Christ will see me through. My sins are forgiven and this is not my home.

Me: I want to go to Heaven. How can I be saved?

Typical American Protestant (TAP): Well, Jesus died for the sins of Christians and anyone who believes in Him is a Christian and is saved.

Me: So, am I a Christian?

TAP: Hmmm… good question. Do you believe in Jesus?

Me: I think so. But, I’m not sure. How can I know for sure that I believe?

TAP: Well, that’s a dumb question! Look into your heart. What do you see?

Me: I don’t see anything.

TAP: Oh yeah. Then what do you feel? Do you feel faith?

Me: What does faith feel like?

TAP: Oh, you’ll know it when you feel it! The Holy Spirit will make sure of that!

Me: Hmmm… Well, just a second…. Oh yeah, there it is. I think I can feel it. I think that I have faith.

TAP: Well, good for you!

Me: So that’s it. I’m going to Heaven?

TAP: Whoa, easy there, pistol! What kind of faith do you have? True faith or hypocritical faith? Only those with true faith will persevere to the end. Hypocritical faith will fade away, and then you’ll be lost.

Me: Oh brother. How am I supposed to know the difference?

TAP: Try looking even deeper into your heart.

Me: I don’t see anything.

TAP: Oh yeah, sorry. Feel deeper then. What do you feel?

Me: Well, now that you mention it, I sort of feel like a sinner. I worry. I covet. I don’t always trust God with my life.

TAP: Oh boy. The only way you can know if you have true faith is if you start getting rid of those sins. People with true faith live better, you know.

Me: So I should start living better?

TAP: You’re not saved by living better, but if you want to know if you have true faith, you better live better.

Me: Wait a minute here. Are you saved?

TAP: I’m almost positive I am.

Me: How do you know?

TAP: I have faith.

Me: True faith?

TAP: I must. Look at me. I’m totally sold out for Jesus. I don’t drink, don’t dance, don’t play cards. I give 10% at church. I even sing in the praise band.

Me: That’s great. It must be nice to have such strong faith in Jesus.

TAP: Oh yeah, I have really strong faith in Jesus. After all, look how good I am.

Here is how it would go with a Lutheran…

Me: I want to go to Heaven. How can I be saved?

Lutheran: Well, Jesus died for the sins of every man, woman and child. Are you one of those?

Me: Yes.

Lutheran: Then you are saved. Now, you hungry for some Taco Bell?

Me: Wait a minute. What about my sins?

Lutheran: Forgiven.

Me: It couldn’t be that easy. I’ve done some pretty shameful things.

Lutheran: Are you saying God is lying to you?

Me: No.

Lutheran: Don’t make this difficult, then. Jesus says you’re forgiven. He doesn’t lie.

Me: Hmmm… But, the guy before said I need to have faith in my heart. Is that true?

Lutheran: Yes, it’s true.

Me: Oh great! How do I know if I have true faith or not? How do I know if I’ll persevere to the end? Don’t I have to prove my faith with good works? What if I keep making the same sins? What am I going to do?

Lutheran: Stop it. Don’t worry about your faith. Look to Jesus. Did He die for you?

Me: Yes.

Lutheran: Has He told you that you are forgiven?

Me: Well, yes.

Lutheran: Would He lie?

Me: No.

Lutheran: Then, what is so complicated?

Me: I just thought that there should be some evidence, some kind of inner experience to prove that I am a Christian and that I’m saved.

Lutheran: Don’t worry about that. You wanted to know if you are forgiven and saved. You can’t find that out by looking into the sewage of your own heart and life. You can’t have faith in your faith. Faith, if it is to be faith at all, looks to Jesus.

Did you hear the difference? Learn that you are saved, not by looking into yourself, but by looking at Christ.

Would you trade being Lutheran for anything? Not only is it thoroughly Biblical, but where else is the Gospel so free and so liberating?

Dear Prudie, [short, apparently, for "Prudence"]
I am a pastor, with 25-plus years of marriage under my belt. I don’t love my wife. We have two wonderful children, both grown up and out on their own. The “why” of getting married is immaterial, but staying married has always been based upon the “for better or worse” part of the marriage covenant. We get along fine. We don’t fight or argue. When I am not at the church, I am at home. We do all of the things a married couple does, except without the sex. She has never been a “turn-on” and that’s my problem. She has a vulgar mouth. She has packed 75 pounds of flab onto her frame since our wedding. She is also, frankly, dumb, with no desire or ambition to learn anything. She isn’t satisfied with our sexless relationship but has resigned herself to the fact of it. Neither of us has ever strayed into marital infidelity. What I yearn for is companionship that can be warm, intimate, cultured, and intellectually stimulating. With 20/20 hindsight, I know I could have done much better. I also know that my wife and I could never have brought finer children into the world. I am content to stay married, even if only for the legal benefits and to avoid the uncomfortable ramifications of a marriage that “failed.” But I find myself casting my eye around lustfully. I know I would make a very comfortable divorcee, and yet I don’t want to rationalize my actions by blaming her shortcomings, or by accentuating my needs. Rather, I need “prudent” advice.

And, here, in part, is “Prudie’s” terrible response…

You understand the situation quite well, so Prudie won’t suggest you discuss this with your clergyman. Clearly you have outgrown your wife. The wild card is that this “dumb” woman with a sailor’s mouth and 75 extra pounds was able to nurture fine children. Could it be that she is as unhappy as you … hence the 75 pounds? In any case, there is no reason two people should stay yoked together like two mules if the marriage is empty

I hope this wasn’t a Lutheran pastor. I don’t know if it was, but I hope not. And, have you ever heard such a wimpy response from the so called expert? “Oh well, I know you said this and that and made these promises, but, shucks, you’re not happy anymore, and this is getting to be hard work so you should have every right to do whatever you must to be comfortable and fulfilled.” No, he doesn’t! Who said he has some God given right to “happiness”?

Not only that, but has this man given no thought to what happened on his wedding day? He says he knows he “could have done much better”, but has he forgotten that it was God who joined him to his wife, not him.

Here is how I might have answered: “I am sorry you’re so unhappy. I am sure it is hard. But your promise still stands. You promised to love her. So go ahead: love her. That doesn’t mean: ‘I go weak in the knees when she is around. She arouses me or makes me feel good about myself.’ It means ‘I serve her. I lay down my life for her. I am her husband, defending her, praising her, helping and comforting her. I treat her like a queen, like the most wonderful and precious thing on this earth.’ Give yourself to her. Treat her like God has treated you in Christ. That means forgiving her, loving her without cause, looking past her blemishes instead of dwelling on them. You didn’t promise to be infatuated or ‘in love.’ You promised ‘to love.’ Now do it.”

The best strategy for restoring love to a marriage happens to be thoroughly Biblical: Act like you’re in love, speak loving things, serve your spouse. We need to ditch the romance ideas and scrub the toilets. We need to stop trying to buy affection with jewelry and dinners out and start providing some real relief around the house, doing real acts of service to ease the life of our spouse. When we do that – when we serve one another and speak words of praise, kindness, and grace to one another, whether we feel it or not, the feelings return. This goes for husbands and wives. Don’t forget you married this person thinking you were in love. That feeling can and does return. All the time. It works. Besides that, it is what you promised to do anyway.

As a matter of fact, in matters of marriage or otherwise, if a friend or a counselor gives this kind of cowardly advice and encourages your desire to be happy or fulfilled or comfortable or turned on or intellectually stimulated, etc., run – don’t walk – run from them. They are dangerous. Our deep-seated covetousness doesn’t need to be encouraged any more than it already is. They should be urging you “to stay and do you duty”. All for now.

That said, even the children we do baptize largely grow up and leave the church. One of you asked me once, “Where are all the children? Why are they gone after Confirmation?” Your question was a good one. Of the children confirmed at Mt. Zion, fully 4 out of 5 have disappeared by age 18. Gone. 4 out of 5! I didn’t have a good answer for you so I said something about how the schools today are so corrosive to Christian faith.

I’ve changed my mind.

It is true, like never before, that parents who choose the public school system simply must fight doggedly against the relativism, multiculturalism, and evolutionary atheism of the schools if they hope to keep their children in the faith. But, by and large, that is not what determines whether a child will remain in the church.

The numbers leave little room for doubt on this. Statistically, the most significant factor determining a child’s future life in the church is determined by their dad. Not their parents, not their mom, not their pastor. It is their dad.

A ten year old study out of Switzerland indicates that “if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers.” Obviously, these statistics recognize exceptions, and you can probably point out your own exceptions. The Word of God brings fruit in the most unlikely of circumstances. But, those exceptions are precisely that – exceptions. The rule stands. Fathers are the head of the household and when they choose the Lord, their household almost always follows along with. But when they do not choose the Lord, their family almost always scatters.

I suppose these numbers are politically incorrect. But, they are true.

Men must begin to own this critical responsibility. To you men, your allegiance to the Lord Jesus will be noticed by your children. This reality is as simple as it is in-escapable. Nor can you permit the children’s mother to take over the task. Your sons and daughters must know that this is important to you, their father, that you need church as much or more than their mother, that you are a seriously sinful man and that your only hope is the cross of Christ. Never let your children see that you are only going to church because your wife wants you to. Go because you need the Absolution, because the devil, your flesh and the world constantly assault you and you need the Body and Blood. Go because you need to go. But, go also because your children are watching. Go because they need to be taught themselves to need the Absolution and the Body and Blood just as you do.

Now, if you are not a man who is particularly sensitive and emotional, empathetic or understanding – in other words, if you do not particularly fit the typical mold of the soppy, feeble-minded Christian man – well, good. The church of Christ doesn’t need effeminate wimps and reeds in the wind. She needs men of faith and conviction, sinners who are willing to be honest about their condition, and who will give glory to no one but Jesus.

These are the sort of men the church needs. So also, this is the increasingly rare sort of man that children need. May the Lord bless us with many.

That is why you must, must, must bring your children to be baptized. Make haste. Baptism destroys the work of the devil. It forgives original and actual sin, it bestows faith in the Lord Jesus and in His word, and it secures our future in Heaven as sons of God forever. We all need baptism. But, no one needs it more than children, especially little babies. After all, adults hear the Gospel with their ears and eat and drink the Gospel in the Lord’s Supper. But, neither of these are available to the infant. The only way the Lord has given us to forgive their sins and keep them safe from the devil is through the skin. Water. Baptism.

So don’t wait!

Don’t wait until the outfit is sewed or the right family is in town. Don’t wait until things slow down at work or the baby is a certain age. Just bring them.

Right now, I’m not comfortable baptizing babies in the hospital the moment they are born, but I would much prefer that over doing it in the church two months later.

But then, after the baby is baptized and safe, teach them the Words of Jesus. Do not imagine that if you have brought them to Holy Baptism that your work is over. Do not think the devil has given up. He still wants your children in Hell, only now, he must find a way to separate your children from their Baptism.

So, as parents and grandparents (and especially you fathers!), your chief goal is to teach your children how to fight against the devil.

When I was in 2nd grade, I had a friend in class, named Todd, who had diabetes. Todd’s parents taught him at a very early age how to monitor his disease, take his blood sugar tests, avoid eating sugar, and even inject insulin if needed. It didn’t matter that he was “young and innocent.” His disease was gravely dangerous. His parents made sure that he knew he could die if he wasn’t careful.

The same is true with all of our children when it comes to the danger of the devil. It doesn’t matter if they are “young and innocent.” They are in danger. They need to be given the weapons necessary to fight the devil. We shouldn’t wait until they are “older.” We should teach them the moment they can speak to say, “I am baptized. I am forgiven. Jesus is mine and I am His. And I am safe from the devil and I will live in Heaven.”

The devil doesn’t care about your children. But, Jesus does. He was born a baby and has lived through childhood in order to die for and save babies and children. He loves your children, even as He loves you. So teach them to cling to His Word.

Here are some suggestions for how to teach your children to cling to the Word of Jesus. Pray with them. Pray before meals and before bedtime. It might be awkward for you to pray alound with your children. Just learn to get over it. They need you to do this for them. If prayer is not a habit when they are children, it will always be hard for them to make it a habit as an adult. The best prayers are the ones that that we are given in the catechism, the Lord’s Prayer, the Creed, the Ten Commandments, Luther’s morning and evening prayer, the meal prayer. These are solid, meaty prayers that they will never outgrow.

Teach them our hymnody. I’m not wild about “children’s songs.” By definition, children will outgrow children’s songs, and as a rule, I don’t like to waste time and energy teaching children things that they’ll outgrow in 5 years. They are capable of learning our best hymns so that is what we should teach them. And, if they don’t know what the words mean or the rich content, then that will give them something to grow into. Better to give them stuff they’ll have to grow in to rather than stuff they are sure to grow out of.

Read them Bible stories. It doesn’t matter if they can’t define the genus maeistaticum or the vicarious satisfaction of Christ. But, they can and should learn the stories of the Bible, especially the stories of the life of Our Lord.

But, the most important thing? Bring them to church, and don’t skip unless you have to. Children are perceptive. If their parents skip church, they will learn right away that church is optional. And, if they know that church is optional, they will learn right away to complain every Sunday morning with the hopes of getting out of it. This shouldn’t be a surprise. If complaining works for getting out of school, brushing their teeth, eating their vegetables and cleaning their room, then it will work for getting out of church. But, if you never give in, they will probably stop complaining. Then when they get older, school, work, brushing their teeth, eating their vegetables and cleaning their room will be second nature. So will going to church.

Finally, when children are in church, don’t assume that the service is for adults only. Teach them to stand and sit when everyone else does, to fold their hands for prayer, to confess their sins, to make the sign of the cross, to say the prayers along with everyone and to sing the regular parts of the liturgy. If you teach them, they will do it. Before or after church, teach them about the altar and the baptismal font and the colors. Tell them why we bow, why the pastor raises his hands, etc.

This may seem like a thankless task, especially when children act out. Trying to keep them in the pew, standing and sitting at the right time, and stop ripping pages out of the hymnal may not even seem very “spiritual.” But, it is. You are battling the devil and you are giving your children the weapons they need to do the same. Don’t give up. The Lord Jesus Himself is by your side and He will let no one snatch your children from His hand. And, by the way, He will also forgive you when you fall short. He will shut the devil’s mouth and stop all accusations.