Muddled Moms and Mercy

Confessions of a Good Girl-A Guest Post

2013-02-22T07:17:00.001-08:00

Today you can find me on The Whatever Girls blog sharing a story from my teenage years. Testimonies are all unique and useful in seeing God's glory and the Gospel lived out. Many think that if their story isn't dramatic then no one wants to hear it. It is my conviction that it is the "good kids" who can have the hardest time seeing their need for Christ. We all need grace. We all need Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. See the post here:
Confessions of a Good Girl

Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow wearyand lose heart."

Difficult Discipleship

2013-02-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" -Matthew 28:19 (NIV)

Help is relative. I find this to be true in all aspects of life. When you think you might be offering what YOU CONSIDER to be help for someone, they may perceive that you are not or at least not to their expectations. This experience has been observed with my kids (I clean their room and they get mad I "messed it up", at work (a patient who wants "help" but is unwilling to adhere to the recommendations of the doctor) and in ministry (you offer discipleship and relationship but the recipient doesn't want to submit, to change or simply doesn't want what you are offering).

I love this scene in Jerry McGuire. Both men are frustrated and expect the other to understand their own perspective. It's a great "clip" of humanity and the difficulty of relationships. Both are men are invested, but neither one is hearing what the other one needs or wants. Relationships are rarely easy and I would argue, if it comes too easy then you are not being vulnerable or honest enough in or about that relationship. The truth is we all have something, and I would contend MUCH, to learn and relationships, specifically in marriage and in the fellowship of believers, are intended to offer a balance of gifts, perspectives, experience and leadership. Without differences...life is bland, boring and is often lacking perspective or growth. No one goes to a school where the teacher is no more educated than the student. We pursue to learn and get help from those who've studied, those who've practiced and those who know more than ourselves.

What I've observed, so far in my recent experiences, is there are those who ONLY want to be led and those who DON'T want to be led at all. You're probably thinking...duh. But real relationship and discipleship require both. If we just sit around waiting for someone to tell us what to do in our spiritual life, we never learn to decipher the Spirit's voice for ourselves. If we refuse to seek wise and Godly (those two words being key here) counsel and listen to it or flat out refuse to obey the clear commands of scripture , then we miss out on learning...miss out on growing and place ourselves, our desires and our thoughts as an idol before the Lord.

I share this because I see myself in both the men in this clip. I am frustrated because I long to encourage women for Christ but find that currently, not many want that. I also find that there are very few women who feel it is their responsibility to lead/disciple, even in a sinmple relationship. Our society is generally coming from place of "make me feel better", "make me look better"...but "don't make it hard" and "don't make me change". That's true of the old and young. It's true of the leaders and the followers. Sometimes, it's true of me.

Let me be clear that it is Christ who works in us to draw out change in us and for His purposes. It is His Spirit inside of us that compels us to even desire it. So, what does that mean for us in the body and in the realm of discipleship?

This question has and is still clouding my mind. I believe God's Word is clear that we should be:
1. Speaking the Truth of His Word to unbelievers.
2. Instructing and equipping the believers to do the same
3. Being in fellowship and submitting ourselves to Christ and those He has placed in leadership over us

Sitting in church once a week does not fall into these categories. Spending time with people who are only like-minded friends does not either.

I do not have this all figured out myself. I confess that I struggle with evangelism to the lost. I confess my fear and pride keep me from stepping out most times. BUT, my affections are for Christ and His people and I'm learning how He can use my failings for His glory. The obvious ways to do this is to be in His Word, in prayer BUT the less traveled path by people in the church is to be in genuine discipleship with someone, both in submission to someone AND as an example or guide to someone else.

I pray for women who genuinely want this. Women who want to lead and women who want to be led. I'm tired of being frustrated yelling out "Help me Help you!!"

Lord, I need You. I pray for the work of your Spirit to inspire me to seek you more, to be submissive and to see people who desire true discipleship....true discipleship. You're Word and Spirit are complete and I know Lord you do not need my help, but Your Word tells us to be obedient in these areas and God, I pray for a response. Not to me. But to you. I pray that Your Spirit would compel in myself and in other women to desire this and be willing to take a step outside their comfort zone and be vulnerable. Father, I know this will hurt and it may not look like I envision, but I ask that you give me more of You so that I can be faithful to the call. I need courage and I need a patience from you that I do NOT have on my own. I pray for humility and for a heart that loves others more than myself. I ask God that I would have a heart of worship for YOU.

Amen

"Alone, bad. Friend, good." --Bride of Frankenstein

2013-01-10T17:36:00.003-08:00

I've spoken with a few different people lately who've felt alone. People who, without saying a word, were visibly sad. It's not hard to see really...unless your eyes are closed. It hangs on their faces, lingers in their voices and lays heavy on their hearts.

I don't claim to have the answers to anyone's problems. In fact, I don't claim much except that God alone should be our sustainer. But He designed us to be relational, didn't He? He created us, marriage, the family, the church and friendships. He designed us for relationship. Relationship with Him and also, with each other.

I know, that even in crowds, I have experienced loneliness. The church itself is filled with people who feel unknown. What is it that we need to do differently? How are we failing each other? Is it even anyone's fault or is it the culmination of the human condition in a sinful world who fail to pursue God that leads to this sadness? Money and more freedom don't help. Political agendas don't help. More churches haven't helped. More programs haven't helped. Medicine or a diagnosis doesn't help. So what now...

What are your thoughts?

How can we as a body of believers... how can I encourage you? For no one should be left to wander this earth alone...

Luke 19:10
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Listen

2012-12-31T17:02:00.002-08:00

Let us be silent so we may hear the whisper of God. -Emerson

It's been a quiet day and I've just spent the last 5+ hours reorganizing my desk, burning old papers, filing important ones and putting memories in a special place for keeping. I've cancelled credit cards then cut them up and made a plan to spend different. To, in fact, spend less. There's something cleansing about cleaning out your home, in the cleaning up the mess, throwing out the old, getting rid of the needless and making a clean start. It's a jab at my pride whenever I do this because I see how truly unorganized I am and even, I admit, delusional about who I believe myself to be because you cannot hide from the filth or the hidden mess. You cannot set in order your life without first throwing out the trash. We've all got trash (ie. sin, lies, inappropriately placed values) in our lives, some of us just manage it differently. I am thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit who reveals this in me and then works to help me set my priorities and heart in order. It's apparent that I need more that just a Spring cleaning. I may need a an overhaul.

I'v realized that maybe I've tried to manage things myself and failed. This is true in my finances, in family and most painfully in my spiritual life. There have been some eye opening moments...some that caused me to question my past faith compared to the understanding I attained. There has been some moments of feeling drawn in to the Lord's presence and some of feeling rebellion toward Him in my heart. In all this I keep talking to Him and telling Him how I want things to "go down"...but asking for His will as well. What I've heard from Him today is that I have not been listening enough.

It's no shock, if you know me, that I'm chatty and that I love to make people laugh and love to encourage but often I fill the uncomfortable silent moments of my life and my conversations with more of my talking, my planning and my purposes rather that wait on God to lead it.

I've heard others mention on facebook that instead of having a resolution, they're choosing a word to live this year by and I am choosing to do the same. This year, I choose to listen...to Him, His Spirit and to the people around me. I pray this year is His and that whatever He brings about in and through me is a result of His direction and not my ambitious pursuits. I will wait for and lean in to hear His direction all the while pursuing to be faithful to what I know He has already called me to as a wife, a mother, an employee, a member of a church body and as a missionary for Christ in the world He has placed me in. This is my purpose and Christ is more than sufficient. Here I am Lord.

"And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave."-I Kings 19:11-13

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." -Phil 1:21

Chapter Eleven- Sweet Hour of Prayer

2012-12-06T12:09:00.001-08:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Eleven-

Sweet Hour of Prayer

"For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God, than dwell in the tents of wickedness.'"

PSALM 84:10 NIV

Last night we concluded the last chapter in our study of "Becoming a Woman of Prayer" by following in this chapter's lead of a directed time of prayer. We had candles, some music (wish I could play an instrument and sing) and about 45 minutes of prayer whilst sitting encircled around a box of tissues. (We're criers.)

I have been thankful to go through this study and so blessed to study alongside the women who have attended. Oddly enough, while I was certain I would feel more confident in my prayer life, I only find more confidence in God. While I'd hoped I'd grow in my leadership, I feel more inept and evermore aware of my need for reliance on Him. While I hoped we'd have more in attendance, I am encouraged and blessed by the women who did come. They were just who needed to be there and who God moved in. He is good. He is our All in All. He is the Reason. He is the goal. He is the means to bring us to Himself.

Thank you, if you followed in this study. I pray the Holy Spirit encouraged you and drew you into deeper intimacy with our God through a deeper understanding of who He is and in time with Him.

Thank you to Cynthia Heald and NavPress who wrote and published this study and who allowed me to share this study here.

Thank you Jesus for making yourself so accessible to us and for loving us more than we can comprehend.

Rainy Day Random

2012-12-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

Making movies with the kids is a fun way to break up some cabin fever during the winter storms. In this post are the videos we've made to date. Masterpieces...no, Fun...yes.

Walking on the Moon

Catie and Nate Rock Video-

"Thanks for coming out Pollock Pines and keeping the scene Alive!!"

Chin People 12/2/2012

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!! 2012

2012-11-30T14:02:00.001-08:00

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

Chapter Ten- Accepting God's Invitation

2012-11-28T17:29:00.000-08:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Ten-

Accepting God's Invitation

"Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice,

And be gracious to me and answer me.

When Thou didst say, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to thee,

'Thy face, O LORD, I shall seek.'"

PSALM 27:7-8 NIV

God designed us for relationship, primarily relationship with Himself, but also relationship with each other. He designed the first marriage and the first family. He watched as we broke fellowship with Him in our first sin, He watched a family divide in the first murder and yet since the beginning He was working to reconcile it all.

Though Christ has made the way for reconciliation with Him, life is still wrought with pain and broken relationships here in this life. Have you ever been in an intimate relationship, friendship or romantic, that ended badly? It'd be a impossibility for anyone to claim this truth and if they did, perhaps they aren't being honest with themselves because we, are still broken here.

There may be some people in your life, or not but I hope so, who you feel utterly at home with. With this person(s), some of your favorite moments in your life (to date) have included them. They, who see all of you and still love you. God knows our desire for emotional intimacy and ultimately, our deepest relationship lies in Him. The hole we so desperately fill with people is meant for Him. It is with Him where we are loved, cherished and pursued without false motive or selfish intent. We are made whole with/to/in/by Him.

In this chapter we will learn how to accept God's invitation to us in prayer and, as always, the chapter is divided into two sections.

Prayer in Solitude (1)

Even Jesus took time alone to pray as shared in Mark 1:35, "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Alone time with God is crucial for our growth and crucial for our sustenance.

The secret conversations, alone and in the presence of our God is where the intimacy happens, where we show Him our heart and He shows us His. It's where we can sit emotionally and spiritually naked and His feet. It is there, He provides the warmth of His love, the grace for our shame and the love/acceptance we need. There is no faking it here. There are no pretenses. It's not even about where or how we do it, He just wants us to want Him.

We've learned so much about how God meets us and provides for us in prayer. Cynthia reminds us in scripture that we should "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (I Thess 5:16-18).

"Prayer will be fatiguing to both flesh and blood if uttered aloud and sustained long. Oral prayer and prayer mentally ordered in words though not spoken cannot be engaged in without ceasing. Instead there is an undercurrent of prayer that may run continually under the stream of our thoughts and never weary us. Such prayer is the silent breathing of the Spirit of God who dwells in our hearts."

-David M'Intyre (2)

Our Lord wants a sincere heart of prayer. Who of us wants a public declaration of love and praise without genuine adoration in private? Who of us wants to be "loved" only when others are watching? It's much like the wedding without the marriage.

Prayer in Community (3)

"When two or more believers come together to pray, they often come with different ideas about what to ask and a different understanding about what the will of God is in the matter. One may think that God wants to heal the sick. Another may think that He is bringing a trial of illness to teach the afflicted. But as they seek agreement and unity of request, they begin to hear the voice of God gradually conforming their differing thoughts...into the will of God. And their prayer is answered." -Kent R Wilson (4)

I fear sometimes community prayer takes the place of my prayer in solitude. It should not, it should add to it.

This chapter discusses fasting and it's purposes. This is this weeks challenge: that you find one meal, to opt out of the meal and spend that time being filled with Him. Being sure to make it a private moment and focusing your prayer on deeper intimacy.

Lord, thank you again for truth and for the scripture that richly declares of your glory and pursuit of us. I confess my failing to meet you alone regularly. I confess that I need you and the comfort of your Spirit to feel at home and complete. God, I ask that you continue to teach me to pray in solitude, in community and all day long. I want to accept you invitation to deeper relationship through prayer. Help me through the power of you Spirit to do this.

**See the this post for a schedule and a preview of 2013.

Chapter Nine- Persevering in Prayer

2012-11-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Nine-

Persevering in Prayer

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." COLOSSIANS 4:2 NIV

I opted to use this weeks verse in this translation because of one word: devote.

What do you think of when you hear "devote"? What comes to my mind is Olivia Newton-John belting out her heart singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You" and if you don't know what song that is...my heart breaks for you. I recall singing loud in the car some song of heartbreak over one boy or another. Fortunate for many, that no one ever had to hear it. As silly as it is, most of us can remember a time in our teen years when we declared some sort of teenage devotion to someone, whether it had been a boy crush or crazed infatuation for a star or band, we get it.

Now in my adult years, devotion looks different. It is rarely propelled merely by hormones or emotion, but by a sense of responsibility, a wisdom of the greater purpose or simply love. Some examples would include laundry (sense of responsibility), wisdom of the greater purpose (paying off debt) and love (my husband and children). Some of these things overlap and some don't (ie. I will never love laundry). The point here is that almost anyone can relate to devotion.

In this verse, the author (Paul) is telling the Colossians to "devote (themselves) to prayer"and I wonder if we take it seriously. Similar to the reasons I mentioned above we pray out of a sense of responsibility (it's what "good" christians do), out of a wisdom of the greater purpose (this is my face time with God) and sometimes, and I would dare to say, not nearly enough do we do it with an attitude of love for our God or for others. If we are devoted to prayer then we do it because we ought to, we see the greater purpose of presenting our hearts and requests to God and because love those who need Him and we love Him and His purposes. We, then, will pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17) until our prayer is answered (yes, no or wait) or He changes our hearts. This is not as easy as it seems.

"When we feel least like praying is the time when we most need to pray. We should wait quietly before God and tell Him how cold and prayer less our hearts are, and look up to Him and trust Him and expect Him to send the Holy Spirit to warm our hearts and draw them out in prayer. It will not be long before the glow of the Spirit's presence will fill our hearts, and we will begin to pray with freedom, directness, earnestness and power." R.A. Torrey (1)

This chapter is about Persevering in Prayer and is divided into two sections:

Devotion to Prayer (2)

Cynthia shares two example of devotion to prayer in scripture. In James 5:13-18, it reads:

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops."

Elijah prayed "earnestly" and the rain stopped for more than three years...how often do we pray for a week and give up. God's timing and will are not ours. We should pray as if tomorrow is the day He may answer and if isn't, keep praying until He shows us a different plan.

Gratitude in Prayer (3)

The second half of this week's verse is "be watchful and thankful." Elijah told his servant each day to go out and look (1 Kings 18:41-44) in the direction of the sea for the rain the Lord promised. SEVEN times the servant went and looked and it wasn't until the seventh time that the storm cloud was seen. God asks us to trust Him, to be watching for His promises and to give Him thanks for His faithfulness.

"Praise and thanksgiving do not magically change my circumstances. they radically alter my viewpoint. Praise and thanksgiving bring me back into the presence of God, where there is fullness of joy and pleasure evermore." -Jennifer Kennedy Dean (4)

For years I prayed that we would be allowed to move because I believed it would be better. I also prayed acknowledging that the Lord my tomorrows and I did not and prayed that if moving would be foolish to stop it. He did. Every single time. We tried to move at least 3 times. The last time was about 6 years ago and I could not understand His will and yet my prayer remained until He changed my heart about a year ago and helped to show me His purposes for us here. The relationships, the ministry, the daily dependance on Him are all a part of His plan for us that we can see...I know there is more at work which we do not even know yet, but I trust Him and I thank Him for His answer and that it was no. Scripture tells us God is not slow in keeping His promises (1 Peter 3:9) yet He knows our impatience and His answer is trust me and seek me every day.

Persevere. Devote. Watch. Give Him Thanks.

Don't be Hopelessly Devoted. Be devoted to the God of Hope.

This weeks challenge:

Examine your life and observe what draws your devotion. Is it our Lord or has life's distractions or wants taken His place in your life. Pray without ceasing. Pray for the things that seem ridiculous. Pray for the things you gave up on and all the while pray for your heart to know His plan. He hears us. He answers us. He helps us.

Lord Jesus, You are not slow in keeping Your promises. Forgive my impatience and foolishness for believing that I know better than you. Help me to know Your heart and seek Your will and to do it every day. I ask for Your Spirit to guide me in prayer to offer up anything in my life that I put in front of my devotion to You and how to pray as an intercessor for those who need you. God you are good. You are so good to me. Thank you Father. I love You and trust You.

**See the this post for a schedule and a preview of 2013.

Chapter Eight- Intercessory Prayer

2012-11-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Eight-

Intercessory Prayer

"Make this your common practice; Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with."

JAMES 5:16, MSG

How apropos is it that our study today, the day after the presidential election, is on intercessory prayer? On a day when a large portion of the posts, articles and statements made have to do with the celebration or the disappointment with the outcome and the absolutes being claimed for or against our re-elected president, I feel it's very timely. While I don't agree with many of the politics our President supports, I feel no fear because a.) I exercised my right to vote and more importantly b.) I put my hope, my faith and my words, not in a man but in my God and how He commands me to respond and live. In light of any result, Scripture calls us to pray for our government and leaders. This is intercessory prayer.

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." - 1 TIMOTHY 2:1-2 (NIV)

The Equipped Intercessor. (1)

You may feel like you are ill-equipped to pray for others because you are too "broken" yourself. You may pray more for others that spending time seeking God's face for yourself. God already provides so much through prayer, isn't it ridiculous to think we can only do one or the other?

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." -EPHESIANS 6:10-18 (NIV)

Any strength we pray for comes from our God. He reminds us that this is war and He tells us to suit up with His truth, His gift of salvation, His Word...to put on HIM for our defense. How does that happen but through prayer...? Praying on all occasions...for all the Lord's people. He covers our brokenness and our failures with His armor He provides. Then asks us to pray for each other.

The Committed Intercessor. (2)

Paul prayed fervently for the Church as a whole and for specific churches.

"Paul did not pray that they be spared suffering. Nor did he request that material wealth be added to their spiritual zeal. He said nothing about illness, or healing or better jobs, or any of those things for which we pray and ask others to pray on our behalf. Such requests are not always inappropriate, but we see that Paul considered spiritual wisdom, knowledge, and enlightenment of greater value."
-C. Samuel Storms (3)

Cynthia points us to John, Chapter 17 where Christ prays and intercedes on our behalf. We've already learned that the Spirit also intercedes for us. Our God himself, is committed to the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). Cynthia challenges us to pick a person and commit to pray for them (4)...I would add that you write down each person that God brings to your heart that needs prayer. That can be for prayer for salvation, for wisdom, for strength, for a tangible personal need and pray over it at least once this week and aim for once a week. If this feels too overwhelming, then do this...when God brings someone to your mind...pray for them, right then. When you promise someone you will pray for them, do it right there on the spot. I know I am guilty of promising to pray...then forgetting. I don't want my words to be false empty promises. God's promises aren't empty...His promises are true.

Maybe you've experienced a time when someone prayed for you and you were given strength or wisdom or provision that you needed. Maybe you haven't. Are you committed to a body of believers or an intimate group of people that would even know how to pray for you? Do you have people who will hold their Shields of Faith over you in your life? Are you equipped? Are you committed? We've been learning about prayer...are you practicing it? If we believe God's words to be true, if we believe He is capable, why DON'T we pray?

This weeks challenge:
Pray, when God brings someone to mind, in real time.
Pray for our country.
Find women to connect with and share your heart with people you trust. I was challenged lately that "confessing our sins to one another" is more than just confessing our sins, it's revealing how we struggle, that we struggle and that we are "not ok" when we are "not ok". News Flash: none of us are "ok". We all need Christ. Every. Single. Day. So we pray to gain more intimacy with him and on behalf of each other.

Lord Jesus, Thank you for making us "ok" before the Father. Thank you for providing an intercessor on our own behalf and for loving us so much to be our Provision, our Sustenance and our Savior. Forgive me for my history of good intentions with no actions. Lead me Lord, to pray for your people, to pray for the lost and the hurting and to offer them over to YOU for YOU ARE GOOD. YOU ARE GOD. Give me the eyes to see the need, hears to hear the the hurts and a heart that gives love and mercy that flows from You! Teach me to be more vulnerable. Teach me to pray and live honestly and openly. To God be the Glory, now and evermore.... Amen

**See the previous post for a schedule for the remainder of this study and a preview into January 2013!

(1-4) Becoming A Woman Of Prayer, © Cynthia Heald, June 2005. Used by permission of NavPress, all rights reserved. www.navpress.com

Coming in January

2012-10-30T13:56:00.005-07:00

We just finished chapter seven on our study of "Becoming a Woman of Prayer" and we are due to end right before Christmas. We're off this week so we can take our kiddos out dressed in crazy costumes to run amuck through our town throwing out threats in exchange for candy. Our schedule for the remainder of the study will be:

11/7- Chapter 8
11/14- Chapter 9
11/21 off for Thanksgiving
11/28- Chapter 10
12/5- Chapter 11
12/12-Christmas party...cause who doesn't like a party. :)
12/19-1/9 off for Christmas Holiday

In January, I'm looking into doing the video study on

Philippians-To Live is Christ & to Die is Gain

by Pastor Matt Chandler.

I've already watched the whole series once. Each video session is less that 30 minutes long and the only thing you would need to have is your Bible and a willingness to learn. We will keep our same time slot on Wednesday nights from 6:30-8:00pm during AWANA at Pollock Pines Community Church. We will begin on January 16th, 2013. Below is a link to the video series promo. Don't be frightened off by his passion and dynamic speaking style. He's a Baptist preacher with a Pentecostal soul (code: He yells about things He's passionate about which just happens to be our Jesus...and I'm loud, so who am I to judge. ha ha) Come learn an fellowship with us!

** I won't be following this with an online study, but will probably blog along the way with what the Lord is doing...and He is always doing something. :)

Chapter Seven- The Lord's Pattern of Prayer

2012-10-24T13:58:00.001-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Seven-

The Lord's Pattern of Prayer

"I love the Lord, because He hears my voice and my supplications. Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live."

PSALM 116:1-2

This chapter is short and pretty straight forward, as was Jesus' instruction back in the Matthew 6:9-15, on "how (we) should to pray". I grew up knowing this prayer well. It was one of, at least, a dozen memorized prayers I learned as a child in the faith we practiced during those years. And while, I believe, scripture memory is huge and using scripture in our prayer-life is useful; I don't think the intent for us was to spout off some memorized poem or song of sorts that never grew into or grew out of a genuine heart. Any prayer said out of practice rather that out of a heart of humility and transparency is wasted.

“I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.

Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them;

and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them.

Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen.

But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.”

AMOS 5:21–24

God did not want their sacrifice because they were merely going through the motions. Have you ever done that? I have. Serving, singing, "praising" through my body but my heart was in rebellion or focusing on self. Christ was God and yet his focus in prayer was our Father God, His will and His glory. We need to check our hearts as we pray. The words don't matter because, as we learned in Chapter 3, the Spirit prays on our behalf. As we read, say and/or sing this prayer who is the focus? Do we recite it like the Pledge of Allegiance? Are we quick to recite it as if it were a monologue in a movie? I'm calling out myself here as well.

Cynthia breaks up the prayer into bite-sized pieces and asks us to digest each one individually so that we may glean understanding and grow in the example Christ laid out for us. (1)

"But the great beauty of the Lord's Prayer is that it maintains a focus on GOD. We may be the grammatical object of some sentences there, but we are never the subject; God alone holds that position. Even in confession, we turn our eyes to Him and say, 'You give us bread... You forgive us... You lead us...You deliver us.' That kind of prayer provides us with an oft-needed corrective. For perhaps the most subtle temptation, the most persistent evil of all is to stand ourselves in God's rightful place at the center of the landscape of our hearts." -Paul Thigpen (2)

This weeks challenge:

Be sure to examine your prayers, who is the focus? Examine your service and praise to God? Who is it for? Where is your heart, when you arrive at church? When you read His scripture?

Again, post this week's verse in a visible spot for you and read it every day.

Lord Jesus, You are my God and Savior. Thank you for the example you gave us in prayer. Forgive me Lord for taking my eyes off You. For not always living, serving or even praising with You as my focus. Thank You for Your Spirit and please, fill me with what I need for each day to accomplish Your glory in this life. Thank You for hearing us. It's all about You. All about You. All for Your glory. Let nothing in my life be wasted. Keep me close to Yourself. I love you. I praise You because You are God.

Chapter Six- When God Is Silent

2012-10-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Six-

When God Is Silent

"But to You I cry, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer come to meet You. Lord, why do You cast me off? Why do You hide Your face from me?"

PSALM 88:13-14 AMP

**This is a hard story. Life is full of hard and unfair things and for me, it was a lesson specific to this chapter.

It was about six years ago when my youngest sister shared with me that she was pregnant with twins. The emotions swirled in my heart with worry (she was unmarried), sadness (she wasn't walking with the Lord) and anxiety (one child is hard, but TWO?).

It had been a rough few years with and for her and now she, like many of the clueless (myself included), would be unprepared for the role of parenthood. I've determined whatever your background or preparation, nothing can fully communicate the difficulty and blessing of being a mom. It's like trying to describe the sensation of a roller-coaster to someone. Not only can you NOT describe it adequately, but the experience may be different for different people even though it may be the same ride.

When we found out in her 25th week that her "water" was leaking and that she had to be admitted into the hospital, the doctors didn't paint a pretty picture. Lot's of words were used to communicate that though they now were working hard to maintain the pregnancy, it was really early for her babies and hope was slim. So, when on February 7, 2007, we received the call from her boyfriend that she had been taken into an emergency C-cection because she was in labor and the babies were in distress, our hearts sank. While driving down to the hospital my kids and I prayed. She was 26 weeks and 2 days into her pregnancy.

I'd dropped off my kids with my in-laws and hurried to the hospital to find out that Baby A, Brayden, was still-born and Baby B, Kameron, was in the NICU and needing assistance with his breathing.

When Mallory recovered from surgery to hear the news, there were no words that could comfort her sadness. She and her boyfriend and some of the members of each side of the family were there with her as they held Brayden, kissed him and said "goodbye" to a baby we never had the chance to know. It was a devastating day for them and for us who loved them.

They next few weeks we prayed fervently for Kameron and visited him as often as we could and found hope in how well he was improving, until... there was another call. When he was 2 weeks old, Kameron had become very sick and gone into septic shock. Again, the worry, again the sadness and again the anxiety...."Lord, please give Mallory your mercy and reveal your power and save this baby. Please, save him and draw them to you..." was the prayer I personally pleaded with the Lord. It seemed to me, in my finite mind, that their hearts could only bare so much pain, that this miracle could be the "thing" that draws my sister and her boyfriend closer to God.

It was four excruciating weeks later when Kameron died. We, with Mallory and her boyfriend, each held him in his last moments. We cried, we mourned, we felt hollow. Mallory later expressed, "I entered the hospital with two babies and came out with none." I wished I could tell her God's plan for her...I wished I could tell her how He revealed His purposes in this...I wished I had an answer. I didn't.

I don't remember ever praying so passionately for something and felt "unheard". Though, in my mind, God's truths regarding His sovereignty echoed, my heart couldn't reconcile the "good" in this outcome. There are so many painful things in this life. So many things that we can't reconcile the "good' or see His purposes or even seem to hear His voice.

This chapter discusses "when God is silent" which is fitting after studying a chapter on "His answers" I think. Cynthia breaks up this chapter and looks at Silence and Conviction of Sin and Silence and Deeper Intimacy. (1)

Silence and Conviction of Sin

This thought causes me to shudder that my sin should inhibit my prayers. But as you evaluate the scriptures, it is clear, that they do.

"If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;" PSALM 66:18

"Anyone who finds his prayers ineffective should not conclude that the think which he asks of God is not according to His will, but should go alone with God with the psalmist's prayer, 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me' (Psalm 139: 23-24), and wait before Him until He puts His finger upon the thing that is displeasing in His sight. Then this sin should me confessed and put away"

R.A. Torrey (2)

Silence and Deeper Intimacy

Cynthia shares, "Job was an expert on God's silence. Job was righteous, yet God allowed Satan to afflict him. Job then cried out to God for an answer, but for A TIME (emphasis added) all he received was silence." (3)

God did finally speak and then it was Job who said:

"I am unworthy-how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth" Job 40:4 (NIV)

I realize that my will is not His will, my plans are not His plans and THANK YOU GOD that my ways are not His ways. When I don't hear Him, it does not mean He is not working. In fact, He is working to draw us to Himself so that He may reveal who He is.

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them." -Charles C. West

I don't claim to know for certain which of these reasons God purposed in us, in Mallory or even in me during this time. Maybe both. I believe and my prayer is that as I draw close to Him, as I confess and repent daily and pray that He reveal more of Himself to me, the rest: my loved ones and I...are in His hands. Whatever "hard" this world brings could never compare to the pain or tradgedy of spending eternity without Him who offered up Himself for us. God gives us so much of His truth in scripture that, at the minimum, we have a wealth of evidence re: His promises, His faithfulness, His power and His will that we should never feel totally without knowledge of His purposes. He is God and I am not.

I'm still praying for my sister that she may know fully the glory of God and pray that the Spirit of God moves in her to draw her more unto Himself. I also know, I'll see my nephews in heaven someday. I will recognize them and they will recognize me and together we will praise our God together in His perfect presence.

Heavenly Father, You alone are sovereign. You alone are God. You are my Creator, my Redeemer and my Sustainer. God, when I don't understand Your workings, let Your truth and Your promises reign in my heart. Let me reminded through Your Spirit that you have not forsaken us. Reveal to me any way in me that muffles Your voice...Help me draw closer to You so that Your voice cannot be mistaken. Lord, I praise You and am so grateful for Your grace.

10 Scriptures About God’s Promises

Questions:
Do you hear from God? How? Is there a time when you have "suffered in silence" and waited on God to answer?

Jesus Finds Me- A Guest Post

2012-10-10T06:43:00.002-07:00

Today, I have the pleasure of getting to share a post over at One Fun Mom. Christy is friend and blogger who I've had the pleasure of knowing since we were teens. She has a feature on her blog called "Jesus Finds Me" and that's where you'll find me this morning.

In the midst of mothering I find times when, while I'm attempting to minister to my kids, God is ministering to me. I am thankful that we each are a work in progress and a that He is continuing to draw us closer to Himself. He finds us where we are at. See post here.

A River of Life?

2012-10-09T20:42:00.001-07:00

(Sung in the tune of "I've got a river of life")

I've got a river of life flowing out of me
Made the floor all wet cause I had to go pee
I shouldn't have held my bladder thru the movie
Then while waitin' for the potty I laughed hysterically.

My pants are soaked (splish splash)
Down to my soles

Cause I drank coke (splish splash)
I missed the toilet bowl

My mom is laughing
She says to me

"Welcome to your forties
N' liners in your panties."

Chapter Five- God's Answers

2012-10-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Five-
God's Answers

I sought the Lord, and He answered me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

PSALM 34:4

This last weekend was kind of rough for me emotionally. I believe it's stresses were the product of spiritual warfare and the enemy was hitting me where I am the weakest, my thoughts and my pride. I don't want to go into details so as to not hurt others that were involved, but this weekend, I was made aware of a problem someone had with one of my children.

This particular incident was upsetting all by itself but then my mind began to flood with all other "comments" that had been said without thought, through mocking lips and laughter by others in regards to my children. My heart ached for my child, my own self esteem as a mom was broken and I suddenly felt so inept and incapable.

An occasion was set where my child and the other family would be together and, I confess that I grew a little....ok, pretty darn anxious about it. I talked with my child about restoring relationships and loving others like Christ has called us to. I prayed and prayed some more. I contemplated going to the other family's house and through tears trying to "fix" things on my child's behalf. My dear friends prayed with me, literally in the street, a block from where the event was taking place. We prayed for God's Spirit to cover them, for peace and love to blanket their hearts and for the healing of whatever hurts had occurred.

Thankfully, the mom who hosted the event kept me updated with how it was going, texted me pics
and encouragement that things were going "great!" The next day I received reports from the host mom and from my daughter that everything was "good". That my child grabbed the hand of the other child when they arrived and took them aside privately and said "I'm sorry if there's anything I've done to hurt your feelings....Are we still friends?" They agreed there have been mutual hurt but then
hugged and mended their friendship.

God answered specifically in this instance and He moved in these children to speak, to forgive and to love. I am so grateful for how these things matter to our great God and that These moments are lessons for me to trust Him and wait. I could've interfered and tried to fix it all myself, but then the lesson for these kids and for myself would've been missed. He heard us and He answered us with more of Himself.

This chapter discusses Gods answers to our prayer and breaks it up into Gods Gift in Prayer and God's Answers for Good. (1)

Gods Gift in Prayer

Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

"Spiritual lust makes me demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Who gives the answer…. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not the answer."
-Oswald Chambers (2)

The gift: Him. His peace.

God's Answers for Good

Cynthia references four different passages of of scripture using Abraham, Solomom, Mary & Martha and Paul and even Jesus prtition in prayer prior to his arrest to point out how God answers prayer, not as we will or for our glory...for our good and His glorification!

"We all tend to prescribe the answers to our prayers. We think that God can come in only one way. But Scripture teaches us that God sometimes answers our prayers by allowing things to become much worse before they become better. He may sometimes do the opposite of what we anticipate…. Yet it is a fundamental principle in the life and walk of faith that we must always
be prepared for the unexpected when we are dealing with God."
-D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones (3)

This chapter/God's word is so full of this truth (SO much) and it makes me thankful. Thankful
God's way is better. Thankful He works to align our hearts to His....that's a gift! Thankful that if we "let go" and "let God", He lets us see Him work!

Thank you Jesus for being the perfect sacrifice and that in you I am redeemed, death is conquered and God is gloried. Thank you for working in mine and my child's heart this week. Thank you for revealing more of yourself in our prayers and providing your peace....in my heart and in our children.

Questions: How have you seen God answer your specific prayers? How has God changed you through prayer thereby aligning your prayers with His will?

Chapter Four- Delighting in God

2012-10-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Four

Delighting in God

Delight yourself in the LORD;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

-PSALM 37:4

There are only a few things I could name that I could say brought me true delight. That's not to say that I wallow in sadness, in fact I try to, more often than not, find the good or more specifically the God in it. As far as what brings me delight, the truest, easiest and most obvious answer is my children. They aren't perfect, in fact I just received a phone call from the principal at their school who shared that my youngest decided to relieve his bladder by the fence out on the school field. Awesome. But, on the whole, when I look at my kids, my heart swells with love and pleasure in them. It's not uncommon for me to hug on them, kiss their cheeks, hold their hands and snuggle with them on a regular basis.

This chapter is all about delighting in God. It's divided into two sections: Our Delight in God and God's Delight in Our Prayers. (1)

Our Delight in God

In the previous chapters we are given reasons why we WOULD delight in Him. He invites us, He delights in us, He pursues us, He is faithful all the time, He offers His help so that we may know Him more and communicate with Him better. What more can He do to demonstrate His love for us?

"When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight,

for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty."- Jeremiah 15:16

"Initially, I responded to His call to delight in Him to ensure the fulfillment of His promise to give me the desires of my heart. I had no idea that He would give me a new heart (Jer. 24:7). I didn’t know that He would begin working in me to reproduce His own

heart. When I turned to Him, I found that He Himself is my very great reward (Gen. 15:1).He is not, as I had supposed, the means to my end. Instead He is the desire of my heart."-Jennifer Kennedy Dean(2)

God Delights in Our Prayers

The question posed in this chapter is: what does and what doesn't delight our God? Ultimately, it's our will aligned with His, our obedience and submission to Him. As we learned in the last chapter God gives us His spirit to help us know and communicate with Himself.

Cynthia's words in the authors reflection hit home for me, here's a small excerpt:

"Sometimes I am a little hesitant to pray specifically for certain things I want. I always want to

be sure that I am praying according to the will of God and not from my own selfish desires...My desires are put into Your hands to be corrected. Strike the pen through every petition that I offer that is not right. And put in whatever I have omitted, even though I might not have desired it had I considered it…. ‘Not as I will, but as Thou wilt."(3)

This weeks challenge:

Re-examine the last three chapters. Find your delight in who God is, in what He does to have relationship with us through the blood of Christ and what He gives us now so we can grow to know Him more. Again, post this week's verse in a visible spot for you and read it every day.

Questions: Do you struggle with finding delight in God? Why or Why not?
Is there an attribute of God that you struggle to believe to be true?
Do you delight more in your own pleasure that God's?

Lord, you are so faithful to us and your love for us is never-ending, never-failing and infinite. Thank you for wanting us and wanting us to know you more. God reveal more of yourself to us so that we may see and know a glimpse of your glory. I love you my Redeemer and my God. This life is yours and I pray that it glorifies you.

Sold Out

2012-10-01T19:19:00.001-07:00

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Perspective is so relative, isn't it? Before marriage and kids, I thought I was busy. After my first child, I thought how ridiculous it was that I even believed I was "busy" before. And now, after three kids, I look back on all of it and laugh. I have to be careful to bite my tongue when someone, like me, views their life as I did and thinks..."how can it possibly get busier?"
It can.
But they'll figure it out soon enough, just like I did.

My walk with Jesus has been the same. I look back at journal entries from years back or even blog posts from two years ago and think to myself in comparison to the relationship I have with my Lord now, "Oh my gosh! I don't even KNOW if I was saved before!"
I was.
At least, I think I was... ha ha. The point is that it's changed. My relationship has grown deeper and the Lord is revealing more of HImself to me. I'm learning to listen to His voice more.... and yet, there is always more of Him to know. There is never a time when He will say, "Welp, that's all folks!" Never.
His sign will never read "sold out!"

On the flip side, I reflect on whether or not I am "sold out" for Him. Is there more of me that I need to offer to Him? Is there more of me that I have been holding back? Is there any part of me I keep for myself or for the world? When the world comes-a-knockin' can I say, "Sorry folks, there's none left because I'm already His." (I don't know why I suddenly speak in a southern dialect, but I'm thinking it's just gosh-darn sweeter.. hee hee) I know that I have and do hold back. That sometimes I straight up decide I'm going to do what I want to do.... and I fail. Frequently.

What I want to be is "Sold Out"....because we're all a slave to something whether we want to admit it or not.

I want to be a slave to Christ.

"a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God-" Romans 1:1

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other." -Matthew 6:24

"What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teachingthat has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." - Romans 6:15-18

Chapter 3- God's Help In Prayer

2012-09-25T22:17:00.004-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Three

God's Help in Prayer

"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26

Yesterday was a rough day. To say the ER was busy is a gross understatement. My role for the day was as the shift coordinator which is code for "in charge with no real authority". It began with a 911 call I had to make from our ER re: a "disruption" and the "spanish inquisition" over the phone line that caused me to question and say....why are you asking me all this, just send help!

Despite the fact that I'd listened to sermons all the way into work, I never really took the time to pray before the shift which has, if anything, historically prepped my heart for "battle". The day and the people and the demands of the job took it's toll on my attitude and instead of lifting my hands in prayer... I clenched my fists in frustration, I cursed the circumstances (sad to say, literally), became unglued and cried. Although crying is no foreign expression for me, it's not how I usually respond at work. In fact, it's become my prayer that the fruits of God's Spirit would overflow from Him and out of me to my patients and co-workers and that they may see Christ in my life. Yesterday was a major fail. I wish I could say that in my weakness, I relied on Him for strength..I did not. My heart felt ugly. My mind- defeated. My pride- demolished. Even if no one else perceived this, which I doubt, I left for home at the end of my 12 hour shift deflated and feeling lame.

This morning, as I showered, I re-inacted the days events in my head. All the conversations, patients, and confrontations and my reaction to it all left me feeling nauseated. I began to pray and confess my failure to rely on Lord and was unable muster the words. I felt such shame and spiritually felt like I just wanted to hide under a rock. Doesn't this sound familiar? Wasn't it the first man and woman who hid in shame after their sin? I wished that the water from the shower head could've washed away yesterday, taking away the shame and guilt and making me feel clean. As my tears mingled with the water flowing over my head, I was reminded of God's gift of Himself in the Holy Spirit and how He "intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words". My "groanings" were from broken pride and I know there are deeper and far more painful circumstances or events that many people endure every single day...some of those happen in that ER. I am thankful that when these moments come, whether from pride, sin or loss, that the Holy Spirit interprets our cries and speaks on our behalf to our Father who longs to lift our chin, as any loving father does, and gaze into our lives and give us more of Himself and bring us back into His presence. We already know He's invited us. We already know He is Faithful....Isn't it just almost too wonderful that He provides help and an intercessor our behalf. Unlike my 911 experience, the Spirit knows exactly our circumstances and our need and dispatches His help immediately.

In our book and study, God's Help is demonstrated in two ways: God's Spirit and God's Word. (1)

It all comes back to God's provision. He gave us His Spirit when we became His adopted children and also gave us His Word who is first, Christ and is also The Bible. Getting into God's Word helps us to know Him more and see His promises and His glory throughout scripture. His Spirit is another provision so we can communicate and fellowship with our God.

In the chapter Cynthia shares, " Our gracious God gives us His Spirit to undergird us in prayer. How privileged we are to seek His help in confidence that He will guide us to pray according to His Word." (2)

"Indeed the whole secret of prayer is found in these three words, in the Spirit.

It is the prayer that God the Holy Spirit inspires that God the Father answers.....The

one who would pray in the Spirit must meditate much upon the Word, that the

Holy Spirit may have something through which He can work. The Holy Spirit

works His prayers in us through the Word, and neglect of the Word makes praying

in the Holy Spirit an impossibility. If we would feed the fire of our prayers with the

fuel of God's Word, all our difficulties in prayer would disappear."

R.A. Torrey (3)

This weeks challenge:

Pray God's Word. Find a verse, a chapter..you may already have one or you can look one up and praying for God's direction...(shoot, google one if you need to) that is a promise of God for a real and present need in your life. Spend time asking the Lord to fill you with His Spirit and search your heart and align it to His own.

Again, post this week's verse in a visible spot for you and read it every day.

Question: How do you struggle in your prayer life? Are you fearful of praying wrong? Do you ever struggle with "what" to pray for?

Lord Jesus, Thank you for your redeeming grace. You are our Redeemer. Thank you for, after finishing your work here on earth, giving us The Spirit who teaches and guides, who comforts and moves in us, who reveals more of you to us and intercedes on our behalf. Lord, thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for lifting my chin to your face with the comfort of your Spirit and the promises of your Word. Thank you for a new day. Thank you that while I am incapable, you ARE capable. While I am imperfect, you ARE perfect. Please make me more like you.

In Jesus precious and holy name, Amen.

(1-3) Becoming A Woman Of Prayer, © Cynthia Heald, June 2005. Used by permission of NavPress, all rights reserved. www.navpress.com

If you find yourself falling apart more than holding it together, another Great resource is the book and bible study, Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst. Check it out!

Forty

2012-09-21T11:19:00.001-07:00

Today my 30's are behind me and I turn 40. Though I don't necessarily feel "sad", I do look with anticipation at what this next year, this next decade, this next half (gulp) of my life, Lord willing, will look like. I looked up the number 40 to see what significance is associated with it and this is what I've found this and I found this.

-Forty, as an age and when defined by ABC News and their research, states that my mind and body slow from here on out.

-That I am now considered to be "middle aged"-ugh.

-Forty, when used as a time period in scripture, was significant to times of testing, times of trial, times of waiting and also times of promise. It's significant.

My hope is that this life of mine will be significant, not for my glory, but for God's glory. That I may be a tool for the kingdom of Christ. I pray that, whatever my first 40 years represented, these next 40 (Lord willing) will be His because I am His. Though my mind and body may slow, I pray my ministry for Him only becomes more urgent, more useful and more fruitful and that I may know Him more 40 x 40. .

Thank you God for these last 40 years. Thank you for today. Thank you for my future.

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience.

~ Unknown

If you are 40+, what insight have you gained?
If you are under 40, what do you look forward too or feel apprehension about?
just curious.

Chapter 2- Praying in Faith

2012-09-18T21:19:00.019-07:00

Becoming A Woman Of Prayer-Online Study

Chapter Two

Praying in Faith

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord."

James 1:6-7 (NIV)

Every bride remembers how she felt on her wedding day. For most, it would be classified as one of the most memorable and significant moments of their life. Is it weird that I remember the distinct emotions I had approximately 2 weeks later? We had just returned home from our honeymoon and we'd had two lovely weeks alone traveling up the west coast. We were settling into "our" home together and what that would look like mixed with the duties of life, work, and family. I remember laying in bed suddenly having this panicked feeling of "What if he changes his mind?". I'd never contemplated it before and all of a sudden, I couldn't shake this fear that my husband would figure out how lame I am and decide that he was leaving. I laid there on my side with the sounds of his deep sleep (aka snoring) keeping time with the rhythm of mine yet, while his was peaceful, mine was anxious. I HAD married a good man who love the Lord, who had good character and who loved me in return. When I prayed and asked God to calm my heart and to keep my husbands heart in unison with mine, my Lord reminded me that my job was to cling to HIM and love Lance the way I vowed to and He would take care of the rest.

Putting your heart in the hands of another is a huge act of faith. It's saying, "I trust you with my life and my future and we're going to do this together". Oddly enough, we have trouble trusting the One who gave us marriage, who designed it and who, unlike people, is unwavering and 100% faithful to what He has promised. We, all too easily, put our faith in people but how many times do we fail to trust the Lord? How many times do we believe our prayers are unheard, never going to be answered or even ignored?

Our verses in James 1 tell us to "... ask,... believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord."

No pressure.

Not doubt?? I don't know about you, but I struggle with that. I'm a realist and what that means for me is I believe in realistic expectations and realistic limits, but I sometimes forget that I am in relationship with an unlimited being who has made and continues to make the impossible happen all the time. His scriptures are a testament that His plans are bigger than mine, his promises are true and that He is faithful to keep them. As we are invited into intimacy, it's key that we (that I) remember that God CAN do anything, that He IS doing something and that EVEN if He doesn't answer my specific prayer, His will is better because...again, He is faithful.

In the book, Cynthia breaks up this chapter into two parts: Faith in God and Faith in His will.(1)

Without these, it may be difficult...ok, impossible to be able to pray in faith. You must believe God is God and He is capable....on the same token, we pray to align ourselves with His will because His purposes are huge. Yet, Christ tells us several times that if we ask God with a sincere faith , and using the power of Christ's name, He will respond (John 14:8-14). Christ also says it takes only the faith of mustard seed. It only takes a smidgen of faith and when you know your faith is small, ask God to grow it. Ask him for more faith...again, He invites us, right? Do you think He makes all this effort to have intimacy with us and yet ignores us? Sisters, it is not so.

Cynthia shares in this chapter:

"And so it is with God: It pleases Him when we turn to Him in dependence and trust. When we ask in His Son's name, according to His charachter, God delights in proving His love, His wisdom, and His trustworthiness. As we experience His faithfulness we can sing, 'My faith looks up to Thee, Though Lamb of Calvary, Savior divine!' Our faith is never misplaced when it is placed in Him." (2)

I'd like to share a video with you from youtube of Pastor Matt Chandler from Dallas, TX who shared not long ago re: his journey through faith as he is suffering from a malignant brain tumor.

It's God's story of the faith of three men, God's faithfulness and now, it too, is Matt's story as He leans on and trusts a trustworthy God.

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, 'King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'"-Daniel 3:16-18 (NIV)

This weeks challenge: Pray bigger this week. Ask God for the things that you've failed to ask Him for before. Pray for it because He is able, He will and even if He doesn't, it's better. Again, post this week's verse in a visible spot for you and read it every day.

Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you that you have revealed yourself over and over through scripture and in my life. Lord, it seems dumb to me that I should need more faith because you have never failed me. Lord, I want to pray bigger because you are bigger than this finite life. You make the incapable capable. You make the impossible possible. Thank you for hearing us, for loving us and saving us from the fire we deserved. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

**Please leave a comment! :)

Chapter 1- Invitation to Intimacy

2012-09-11T22:35:00.005-07:00

BECOMING A WOMAN OF PRAYER-Online Study

Chapter One
Invitation to Intimacy
(Becoming A Woman Of Prayer, © Cynthia Heald, June 2005. Used by permission of NavPress, all rights reserved. www.navpress.com )

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”
JEREMIAH 33:3, NIV

I remember the day clearly. It was a warm summer day in 2008 and we were on our way to take my daughter to her weekly dance lessons. I had just phoned (this was before the cell phone law) and left a message to my friend Stephanie to ask if she and her kids wanted to hang out later. My older two kids had been arguing in the back row of our suburban over a water bottle and after hanging up the phone I recall telling them to "cut it out!" Almost immediately after, my oldest cries out, "Mooooooooommmmmmm! She woooon't give it to meeeeee!" So, like any gentle, quiet spirit like myself (ahem...not), I whipped my head around to yell out, "Would you JUST give him the water bottle!!!"

And then it happened.

My right tires went off the road next to our local lake and we were at a severe angle at 35 mph and couldn't pull out of it. Our large and seemingly indestructible vehicle scraped along the side of a tree, simultaneously blowing out each of the right passenger windows tossing bits of glass throughout the car until we stopped approximately 6 inches short of a power pole. The kids were freaking out, my daughter's face was bleeding, my heart felt like it was beating in my throat and my hands were trembling. "oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh...." was all I could utter.

A CDF (California Department of Forestry) worker happened to be at the lake that day and immediately ran over to help. Then my phone rang, my hands and voice were shaking so hard I'm surprised I could manage to open it up and squeak out, "hello?". It was my friend returning my call. I told her what happened and after a chuckle, she said, "oh no, really? I'll be right there..." Not only did she show up, she brought her husband and both their cars and extra car seats. She and her husband drove us down to the hospital so my daughter, Catie, could have her nose laceration glued up. They waited with us, took us to lunch, spent time with us til my husband could meet up with us. I remember feeling so taken care of and loved by my friend that day. Having an unexpected shock and immediate need- she came. I knew she was a great friend before but you see, I had merely called her for fellowship and in my need she revealed her character and love for me in how she responded. I believe with everything in me that, on the day of the accident, God had that tree there to keep us from rolling, that the timing of the accident prevented us from hitting another tree head on, that the CDF and my dear friend were available to me in a tangible way because of God's provision. He revealed Himself in all of it.

When I read the verse listed in Jeremiah 33:3 as God says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” God is promising us that when we pray and call out, He will show up, that we don't need to leave a message because he HEARS and WILL respond. He promises that HE WILL tell (us) great and unsearchable things (we) do not know, revealing His character and unwavering love for us!

"What if God does not demand prayer as much as gives prayer? What if God wants prayer in order to satisfy us? What if prayer is a means of God nourishing, restoring, healing, converting us? Suppose prayer is primarily allowing ourselves to be loved, addressed and claimed by God. What if praying means opening ourselves to the gift of God’s own self and presence? What if our part in prayer is primarily letting God be giver? Suppose prayer is not a duty but the opportunity to experience healing and transforming love?
MARTIN SMITH"(1)

This chapter is all about God calling us into His presence. He "stands at the door and knocks". He invites us to spend time with himself and is pleased when we, as his children, fellowship with Him.

In the book, Cynthia shares:
"Understanding that God wants to impart spiritual strength and refreshment encourages me to feel that I don’t have to come with a full agenda when I meet with God. He has invited me — and so I respond by choosing to answer His request for fellowship.How good it is to view prayer as an opportunity to receive from the Lord and as a time to “yield a sweet savour unto God.” "(2)

He wants us, He listens to us and wants to reveal more of His character, grace and faithfulness to us. He created us, delights in us and is glorified when we delight in him.

This weeks challenge: post this verse somewhere you'll have opportunity to read it everyday. That may be on your fridge, your bathroom mirror or the dashboard of your car. Meditate on this verse as you spend time with your God and your Savior. Pray and ask God to reveal more of himself to you this week. Breathe in this promise offering your time and worship to our God as a "sweet aroma" and offering unto Him.

He invites you.

Heavenly Father, you are faithful and your words are true! Thank you for loving me so much that you made a way for us to have a relationship through your son, Jesus. Thank you God that you give us your Spirit and you give us prayer so we may know you more, so we can talk with you and so we can hear from you. Forgive me for underestimating the magnitude of your love for me. Forgive me for wasting my time, years really, that could have been spent with you. Lord, I want to know you more.
In your son's precious name,
Amen

If you still don't have your book, you can order a digital or physical copy here.

(1-2) Becoming A Woman Of Prayer, © Cynthia Heald, June 2005. Used by permission of NavPress, all rights reserved. www.navpress.com

An encouragement from Cynthia Heald

2012-09-11T15:00:00.001-07:00

Our study begins in just over 24 hours and today I was elated to receive an email from Cynthia, the author of the book we are studying, "Becoming A Woman Of Prayer". She let me know she would be praying for each of us as we dive into God's word and grow in deeper relationship with our Lord! I had previously asked if there might be something shed like to share with us. She has responded and I'm excited to share the words of encouragement for us from, author, Cynthia Heald:

I have learned over the years that each study I write is for me and essentially for me alone. It is God's way of being sure I listen to Him. I remember when He prompted me to write this study on prayer. I responded by saying, "Lord, you know I am not a prayer warrior and I really don't know that much about prayer." And our Lord faithfully replied, "Cynthia, that is exactly why I want you to write a prayer study."

Most of my studies have "Becoming" as the first word of the title--that is because we are always growing and maturing in the Lord. And so it is with my prayer life. I am still a work in progress in learning about prayer, taking time for prayer, and developing the closeness and intimacy needed to pray without ceasing.

The key for me is to spend consistent time with the Lord daily reading his Word and then responding to what I have read through intercession and sharing my heart with Lord. I have discovered that sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to His Word is prayer. It is the best part of prayer: it is listening to God speak.

I am blessed by Andrew Murray's thoughts:    "I find it a great help to use much of God's Word in my prayers. If the Holy Spirit impresses a certain text upon my mind, I take it to the throne of grace and plead the promise. This habit increases our faith, reminds us of God's promises, and brings us into harmony with God's will. We learn to pray according to God's will, and understand we can expect an
answer only when our prayers are in accordance with that will. (1 John 5:14)

"As indispensable to me as the bread I eat, and the air I breathe, is communion with God through His Word and prayer. Whatever else is left undone, God has the first and chief right to my time. Then
only will my surrender to God's will be full and unreserved."

Blessings,

Cynthia
Keep your hand in His~

I'll see you tomorrow!-Melinda

Diagnosed vs Defined

2012-09-08T10:04:00.002-07:00

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Cor. 12:7-10)

Our society loves a diagnosis. We love a name, a reason or a blame for why our lives are what they are. I'm always perplexed by those who enter the Emergency Room anxious from their lack of oxygen and are desperate for "WHY" they feel bad and want and "ANSWER" for they're suffering yet they have refused to stop smoking even up until the front doors of the ER. For some, their history or diagnosis becomes the stage on which they define their whole day or even their whole life.
Their. Whole. Life.

Each one of us can fall into this trap. Have you ever offered something about your past or your present for why you fail at something today. I have. What I love about this scripture in 2 Corinthians is Paul doesn't even give his thorn credit. He doesn't call it by name. We can assume it's not a sin issue because he would state a need for repentance and Paul was no slack when it came to calling things as they were. I think if he had given his thorn a name we would've had a whole multitude of people who then would justify their weakness because this great man of God "had it too". To speculate, It could've been depression because Paul spent many years in trials that many of us couldn't hold a candle to...jailed for years, shipwrecked three times, on the run for his life, abandoned at sea, bitten by a snake, beaten, mocked, and the list goes on. His thorn could've been a physical ailment...arthritis, gout, migraines, acne, restless leg syndrome....Whatever it was, what he does is, he tells us that he asked for God to remove it, three times and then he tells us the Lord's answer, "My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Then Paul goes on to tell us he will glory in his infirmities so that Christ may rest on him. Does God have the power to heal us?? Yes! Should we ask for it? Yes!! BUT even if he doesn't....even if He DOESN'T...we have to know, because it says so in scripture, that God's GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. If we say it is not, we call God a liar.

Our history and our present ailments should not define who we are and be the theme of our lives. The only thing we should be defined by is the redeeming love of our Jesus and the unfailing grace of our God. We are NOT permitted to baste and stew in our past or in our present. We ought to be bathed and drenched in the Spirit of God who gives us grace to endure.

I want to clarify that there are seasons in life that are painful. Emotional and Physical traumas that stifle us...for a time. I don't claim the duration in which these things last. And I also want to state that some of these painful stories need to be told so as to offer and demonstrate the hope we have in God and that He is faithful in all things. This is what many of testimonies of scripture do. I do know for a fact that our pains and suffering are, yes, part of our story....but even greater...they are part of HIS STORY in us. We are designed for HIS Glory. The whole scripture, in all the stories told and the lives lived, many sufferings were endured but none greater that the suffering of my Jesus on our behalf. If all these souls could speak to us today they would say, "IT is worth it!!, Endure!!!"

My job in the Emergency Department is as a nurse to assist the sick, sad and injured with immediate help, emergent help. My job as a daughter of God is to live a life that glorifies him in all things, preach Christ and encourage others to do the same. I confess that, as I feel that our Lord has called me recently to do more for His kingdom, I have felt fear that my faith would be tested. I hope and pray that whatever the plan God has for this life He has given me, that I would hold my hands open to him that I would testify to His goodness, His mercy and His grace in anything that He filters through his hands. He loves me and He loves my family and I trust my Jesus. I don't want the excuses of my past or my present OR even the fear of my future to inhibit anything he wants to do in me or through me. Because, in the beginning and in the end, I am His, my future is with Him and that is a good thing.

I am linked up here with fellow sisters:

Muddled Moms and Mercy

Confessions of a Good Girl-A Guest Post

Difficult Discipleship

"Alone, bad. Friend, good." --Bride of Frankenstein

Listen

Chapter Eleven- Sweet Hour of Prayer

Rainy Day Random

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!! 2012

Chapter Ten- Accepting God's Invitation

Chapter Nine- Persevering in Prayer

Other Posts on Prayer from Women I Love

Chapter Eight- Intercessory Prayer

Coming in January

Chapter Seven- The Lord's Pattern of Prayer

Chapter Six- When God Is Silent

Jesus Finds Me- A Guest Post

A River of Life?

Chapter Five- God's Answers

Philippians 4:6-7

Chapter Four- Delighting in God

Sold Out

Chapter 3- God's Help In Prayer

Forty

Chapter 2- Praying in Faith

Chapter 1- Invitation to Intimacy

An encouragement from Cynthia Heald

Diagnosed vs Defined