Muir's Meanderings

Marvel's Artists, Aren't

2014-08-31T11:06:00.000+01:00

It seems I've gone on a bit of a Spider Woman web crawl today. (Pun totally intended) For those of you who haven't been drawn into the controversy (another intended pun), Marvel comics unveiled their new Spider Woman comic a few weeks ago. The cover depicts Spider Woman in a highly sexualised and physically impossible to get into pose.

This poses (I just love puns) several problems. First being that it really isn't necessary to sexualise women in any form of media.

Don't get me wrong, sexy poses (containing any gender) in artwork is perfectly fine and I do love looking at sexily posed drawings of people irregardless of what gender they may be. Saying that, is a comic (which is being marketed towards teens) really an appropriate place for what is basically soft porn? I don't think it is. Misogyny runs rampant in graphic novels and games and it's high time it goes away. Basically what we need is less misogyny and highly sexualised women and more depictions of strong women who are more than capable of kicking ass without the need to wear cleavage enhancing clothing that's so tight it looks like it was painted on.

The second problem, as I alluded to above, is that due to the artist's hang-up on making his drawings "sexy", the anatomy is so messed up it quite simply doesn't exist. Some of you will no doubt say "It's artistic license. The artist doesn't have to make his drawings anatomically correct." You do have a point, if that's what you're thinking. However, when you're drawing in a realistic style (which is the style Marvel's comics are typically in), then you do need to keep the anatomy fairly believable.

My web crawl was started when I saw a post on The Oatmeal where the artist drew Spider Man in a "male equivalent" provocative pose. (http://theoatmeal.com/blog/spiderwoman). This (obviously tongue-in-cheek) drawing highlights how ridiculous it would look if Spider Man's "assets" (hehe) were similarly on display for all to see.

A link in the comments of The Oatmeal's Facebook post led me to this gem (http://www.themarysue.com/controversial-spider-woman-covers-redrawn/) where an artist gives a professional critique of the drawings in the comic. Her red-lines (click on the image gallery to see them all) give a very good look at exactly where the artists went wrong and how to fix their mistakes and proves that you don't need to sacrifice anatomy to draw women. Her sketches are still sexy, but it's more of a "that woman can kick my ass" type of sexy and less of a "this woman is only here for my sexual kicks" kind of way.

Finally, in the comments in The Mary Sue article, I found this rather amusing link (http://imgur.com/FmE7mJz) which proves once and for all just how much of a monstrosity the "roof pose" really is.

Not so sexy now, is it?

Armley Mills

2014-08-01T12:49:00.000+01:00

This past Tuesday (29th July) Paul and I went to Leeds Industrial Museum. The museum is located on the grounds of the old Armley Mills in Leeds. Armley Mills, for those who may be interested, was once the world's largest woollen mill. Exhibits cover 3 floors, in addition to outside areas. Admission is £3.60 for adults, £1.80 for children over 5, £2.90 for concession tickets (students and OAPs), and £7.60 for families. Saying this, Paul and I got in for free as he's disabled/special needs and I'm his carer. It might be worthwhile to bring a letter from the DWP to prove that your child is in receipt of DLA, if this applies to you as well.

When we first walked into the museum, I was concerned that it looked quite small. As I said before though, the museum is larger than it looks and there's quite a bit to see and do there. You enter the museum via the gift shop. To your right is the café which serves biscuits and hot drinks, to your left is the museum proper. The gift shop is well worth looking around. There are several items there from toys to books to mugs and tea towels. All of which are high quality and would make wonderful souvenirs. Paul chose a model train which makes train noises. It's just the right size for his wooden train tracks.

The first room you enter after the gift shop has several exhibits as well as a few activities. Paul really enjoyed playing with the train tracks.

Further into the museum is a small playhouse which is made completely of material knitted by the public. I thought it was pretty neat; Paul didn't seem too impressed by it, though he did go inside and sat down for a minute.

A few of the more hands on activities consisted of a faux phone operator's control panel and some optical illusions. Paul listened to one of the operator recordings, but they didn't hold his interest. He did love the optical illusions however. He loves spinning things, so that's what he started doing. After I showed him how to see the pictures "move", his response was "Wow. That's cool".

Armley Mills also has a working replica of a 1920's cinema. You can sit down and watch a short film clip from that era. Most kids aren't going to be impressed by this, unless they're history buffs. Paul just wanted to completely bypass the whole thing, but I convinced him to sit down long enough for a photo. You can probably tell he was just humouring me at this stage!

Paul's favourite exhibits of the museum by far were the trains. They had several restored engines inside and several more outside. Paul really enjoyed looking at them all. He was a bit disappointed that he couldn't ride on any of them, but that didn't stop him from walking along the short length of disused track and making train noises!

If you visit the museum, you'll want to bring a picnic lunch (or get takeaway from the nearby Pizza Hut) in order to take advantage of the beautiful outdoor picnic area.

Overall, the museum is quite nice. Whilst it might not hold the interest of really young children, there are enough hands on activities to keep slightly older children occupied. Paul certainly seemed to enjoy the outing and we spent just over an hour walking around looking at things. If you do the activities, read the exhibit signs, and watch the film, it will probably take upwards of two to three hours to get all the way through the building.

R.I.P. Dad

2014-06-15T23:24:00.000+01:00

(TW: death, rape, childhood trauma)

On the 13th of June, 2014, my Dad passed away from advanced lung cancer. He was 69 years old.

I found out about his death from my mother, via an email on Facebook. Don't judge - I live in England, while the rest of my family live in The United States of America; Facebook is pretty much the only way they can contact me. Mom also has cancer, but unlike my Dad, she hasn't given up and is fighting it with every ounce of stubbornness she possesses - which believe me, is a very large amount.

When I read Mom's message, I experienced a bit of shock, as you can probably imagine. The knowledge that someone you knew from a very early age has died always comes as a shock, the death of a family member even more so. If this was a typical story, one would probably expect the next few paragraphs of this blog entry to say what a great man my Dad was and how much I grieve his passing and that I'm going to miss him terribly.

This isn't a typical story.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't grieved at all. Not one tiny bit. When, a few weeks ago, I learned that he had cancer, I did cry. It wasn't a "I'm sad because my Dad has cancer" thing though, but rather an "I'm crying because I should be sad, but I'm not and everything inside of me says I should be so I'm really confused" thing.

To those of you reading this who are thinking "What an unfeeling, uncaring bastard." - I'm not a sociopath and had it been anyone else in my family who had died, I would still be in extreme mourning. It just so happens however, that the person who died was my Dad and well, I just don't feel sadness at his passing.

Don't get me wrong, I have lots of good memories of my Dad. He got me interested in Dungeons & Dragons and table-top games, he bought me my first games console, he taught me how to ride a bike, and he loved roller coasters and going to Six Flags Theme Park in Eureka, Missouri as much as I did. But sadness at him dying? Nope. Not even a sliver.

I've actually been puzzling about this over the last few days, because society demands that we mourn over the loss of our loved ones. It was while reading Laurell K. Hamilton's A Shiver of Light earlier this evening, that I realised exactly why I haven't grieved and probably will never do so.

I mourned the loss of my Dad back when I was a kid.

When I was between the ages of 9 and 10 years of age (I can't say exactly how old I was because I've found that my memories from 7 - 13 years old are quite hazy and indistinct), my Dad moved back to the state of Missouri from a 2 - 3 year stint of living in Florida. My parents split up when I was 7 - 8 years old; my sisters and I stayed with our Mom in Missouri while my Dad moved to Florida. Their divorce was finalised soon after he came back.

It was during this time that my Dad sexually molested me. Actions which continued off and on until I was 13 years old and a series of events put him in prison for a total of 10 years. It was at this point that I grieved over the loss of a parent. From the moment he took the last bits of my innocence - that is when I lost my Dad.

The grieving process lasted years for me, even though it's only now that I realise that's what I was going through. All the stages of grief and mourning were there (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), but neither I nor any one around me at the time picked up on it. These stages followed me well into my late 20's and early 30's; some of them repeating several times, due to all the self-confidence and self-doubt issues his actions caused me.

I've already grieved. Not only over the loss of my Dad, but also over the loss of myself because to claim that what happened didn't change who I am would be lying. My entire being - everything that makes me ME - changed on the day my paedophile father decided to act out his perverse fantasies on me.

Everyone else in my family can mourn his death; it's their right to do so. But the man who died? He wasn't my father and hadn't been for a very long time.

It's funny how a make-believe world can show you truths.

Leeds Museum

2014-06-04T10:48:00.000+01:00

My boyfriend and I took Paul to the Leeds Museum yesterday. I was pleased by how well he handled the crowds and loved that he really seemed to be enjoying himself. All of the staff we came in contact with were really nice and understanding as well.

The only thing that caused a bit of a problem was they had some of their "do not touch" exhibits right out in the open and often right next to a hands on exhibit. Needless to say, this confused Paul to no end. He just couldn't understand why he could touch the little blocks, but not the big ones in the Ancient Worlds exhibit (as an example).

For anyone who may be thinking about going, it's a nice day out, but you may want to prep your child before hand so they will know what they can touch and what they can't. I was thinking a social story might work in this instance. Something to explain how we look for "do not touch" signs on exhibits and if there isn't one, it's OK to gently touch the object.

Here are a few photos of our visit.

A photo of a photo of a fox with chicken egg

Paul

YouTube Walk 1

2014-05-18T11:34:00.000+01:00

Sometimes - usually on Sundays, but not always - I find an interesting video and before I know it, I've watched several. I call these "YouTube walks".

YouTube walks are similar to Wiki walks. I watch a video and count down the suggested video list (the list on the right side of the screen) until I reach the day of the month. So if it's the 18th day of the month, I choose the 18th video link. I continue until either I run out of links or get bored.

Since I've been neglecting my blogs recently, I figured I'd start documenting these walks so as to share them with everyone who may be interested.

This was the start of today's YouTube walk. It's an optical illusion video linked by I Fucking Love Science on Facebook.

This was followed by a video of practical jokes. (Don't worry, I won't be playing any of these pranks on my friends and loved ones)

The third video is by the same guy who made the pranks video. This one is more of a neat "how'd they do that" trick.

Yet another one by Quirkology (YouTube tends to do this a lot). This video is different to the last trick because they show you how the trick is done.

Finally got away from Quirkology and moved onto TEDx Talks in this next video which asks "Why do we ask questions?".

And finally, the last video (another TEDx Talk) is on sustainable fashion.

Celebrating Easter

2014-04-20T08:01:00.000+01:00

This post was shamelessly stolen from Daylight Atheism. All credit goes to the author of that blog.

Beloved, let us rejoice, for this is a time of celebration. In the true spirit of this season, let our hearts be gladdened, and let us pray and pay tribute to the deity in whose honor this holiday comes…

…Eastre, the Germanic goddess of spring.

No, no, wait, that’s not right. Let’s try again.
Please forgive our previous silly mistake. As we all well know, beloved, this holiday comes not because of any primitive druidic goddess, but rather in honor of a heroic figure, a true god among men, who was born of a mortal woman and a divine Father. As should be obvious by now, the name of this very special child was…

…Hercules.

No – hold on. That can’t be right either.
Of course, of course. The hero of our story, the one whom we have gathered here to thank, was no figure of pagan Greek polytheism. He was a redeemer, one who came to earth to lift up sinful and ignorant humans, knowing full well he would pay the ultimate price for his actions, but willing to go ahead anyway out of love and compassion. As you all know, this blessed Savior was called…

…Prometheus.

No, no, give us just a minute. We’ll get it right.
We all know full well who is being described here, of course. He is the one, the One, who defeated death itself and rose from the grave, in a miracle that no other would-be savior has ever been able to duplicate. By dramatically displaying his power over death, he proved once and for all that he was the single true god. And his name was…

…Osiris.

No, wait. That’s not right either. Of course! What a ridiculous error to make. Our apologies.
Beloved, only one god fits this description. You know him well — millions of you around the world today worship him. He was conceived miraculously and visited while still an infant by wise men who were guided to him by a star. He lived in a small province whose evil ruler sought to have him killed before he could rise to power, but his parents were warned by a heavenly messenger who instructed them to take their child to a neighboring district, where he would be safe from the slaughter. This miracle child would come to grow up and perform many great deeds, and the timeless and moving story of his life was recounted throughout history and still rings true today. I refer of course to…

…Krishna.

Is that right? That can’t be right, can it?
No! Beloved, the god to whom I refer stands alone, unique, head and shoulders above the myths and fables of the false religions. No other savior ever claimed to duplicate his deeds. No other prophet was anything at all like him. He was the mediator between God and man, he helps departed souls ascend to heaven, and he will judge the human race at the end of the world. He shed the blood of an innocent to wash away the sins of the world and established a sacred meal ritual where flesh and blood were symbolically consumed by initiates. Only one person fits that description. You know this person well – his birthday falls near the end of the year, on December 25. As should be more than obvious by now, this person can only be the one who was called…

…Mithras.

That doesn’t seem right either…

Of course. That, too, is incorrect. My most sincere apologies. Beloved, do not let these slight slips of the tongue distract you from the power of the message I bring. Our religion is the one true religion. The claims of all others crumble under scrutiny, but ours and ours alone is validated, again and again, by historical fact. It was the first of its kind to make such claims as these; all others are merely impostors which sought to capitalize on its fame. Our savior cannot be mistaken for any other. He performed countless miracles on earth, miracles well attested to by bystanders. He healed the sick and the crippled, restored sight to the blind, cast out demons, yea, even raised the dead! His birth was of a virgin, foretold by an angel. While still a child, he exhibited extraordinary knowledge of religious scripture. He reformed the corrupt and worldly religions of his day. After his death, he rose from the grave and appeared to his disciples to prove to them his miraculous power, after which he ascended to Heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father. He was known as “the Son of God!” No other religion can make such claims! No other savior proved his divinity again and again to so many! No one can doubt his power or the truth of the message he brought. His memory will live forever. How can he be mistaken for anyone else? Of course, by now there is not a shred of doubt in any of your minds. You know as well as I do to whom I am referring. We must worship him, pay tribute to his memory, and focus on spreading his message of love and compassion; that, after everything, is the true meaning of Easter. Come, beloved, let us pray and honor the divine prophet whom I have just described. Let us glory in the everlasting love of…

…Apollonius of Tyana.

Wait – wait – wait – eh, you know what? Screw this.

Response to an Article #3

2013-06-09T12:49:00.001+01:00

Watch this video. Seriously. It's one of the most touching videos on diversity and love that I've ever seen. And it's cute.

Have you watched it? It's cute, isn't it? Not everyone thinks so, surprisingly. In fact, according to this guy, homosexuality is all about sex and nothing about equality, diversity and you know LOVE. Because every one knows that homosexual people are incapable of feeling love for someone else. /sarcasm

Here is my reply to his rather ignorant post:

That is, quite possibly, one of the most ignorant assumptions I've ever read. Please note that I'm not saying you are ignorant as everyone, no matter how smart they are, are capable of saying ignorant things.

Children are smarter than we often give them credit for. Do you tell children about sex in order for them to understand what the heterosexual lifestyle is all about? Of course you don't.

All children need to be taught at 5 or 6 years of age about sexuality and diversity is that all people deserve to be loved regardless of their ethnicity, religion, beliefs, abilities, social class and yes, sexuality. And that is what happened here.

Seriously, watch the video. It's really cute and innocent and will most likely bring a tear to your eye.

Suddenly, A Wild Bigot Appears!

2013-05-26T13:46:00.000+01:00

Earlier today, while I was plinking away at the Curiosity cube on my iPod, I noticed that I had a friend request on Facebook from someone whom I didn't know. Usually when this happens it's from someone who follows me on Twitter or someone with whom I have interacted with on another website and they usually send me a private message saying who they are and where they know me from.

With this in mind, I checked my "other" message box on Facebook to see if this stranger had done so. He hadn't, but surprisingly there was another message in my "other" inbox from yet another person whom I don't know. This extremely lovely individual (please read that with sarcasm thick enough to use as a winter coat) somehow thought that she couldn't rest until she called me an "ABOMINATION to God", insulted my reading skills and questioned my gender identity. How loving of her, right?

Normally, I would just roll my eyes at the poor holier than thou moron and delete the message. This time however, since she went to the trouble of sending me a private message, I decided to respond. She then responded back, quoting two of the infamous "clobber" passages (Leviticus 20:13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11) both of which Xtians love to quote out of context for some reason. My original response to her must have really hit a nerve though, because she blocked me. Not surprising really; Xtians love to call out other people for their "sins", but when someone else rationally points out to them that they are, in fact sinning by calling people "abominations", they don't seem to like it much. Pot, kettle; can't stand the heat and all that.

Anyway, here is a screen of her original message and my slightly trolling response. I didn't include her response to me as it was just her saying "I'm not judging, these are God's words" and a copy/paste of the two aforementioned, out of context verses. If there are any reading this who find offence with my slightly trolling and/or snarky response, I do apologise for you being offended. Saying that however, there really isn't any other way of responding to people like this woman. They say these things to LGBT people day in and day out, yet refuse to even think that what they're saying is hurtful and harmful.

For those of you who can't access the image or find it difficult to read text in images, below is a copy/paste of the conversation/

Misguided Xtian:

Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION to God! Read up!

oh, by the way, are you a male or female? at first glance you appeared to be male, but after looking a second time, i think you are a female. either way, you are delusional.

My reponse:

That is your belief. Although millions of people worldwide believe that being LGBT is not a sin, you are entitled to your belief. That's the neat thing about freewill.

Lots of things are "abominations to God", though I don't see any Xtians up in arms about them. Things like having sex with a woman during her period, eating certain animals (e.g. rabbits, pigs, lobster, shrimp), women who wear men's clothing (e.g. trousers/jeans), getting remarried after being divorced, dishonesty, theft, greed, violence, being divisive, injustice, things and people which are highly esteemed among men (like the internet) and last but certainly not least people who profess to know God but by their actions demonstrate that they don't even know Him. Such actions would be calling whole groups of people "abominations" and treating them unjustly and unequally. After all, being unjust and divisive are both abominations to God.

So you see, by calling LGBT people "abominations", you are in fact being abominable to God yourself. But hey, if it makes you feel better about yourself, who am I to tell you to stop? I'm not God, after all.

PS: What business of yours is my gender? What does it change? After all, the bible says that ALL of humankind is made in the image of God and that in the kingdom of heaven there is neither male nor female. So my genitals really have no bearing here. Unless you're a pervert who is constantly thinking about what other people have between their legs. Oh yeah, that's also an abomination to God (adultery/sexual lust).

I will pray for you, that you turn away from your ungodly ways.

Muir

Response to an Article #2

2013-05-17T08:47:00.000+01:00

Gay Marriage: Civil Partnership 'Review' Could Expand Unions To Include Heterosexual Couples

I definitely agree with this. In order for true marriage equality to exist, one of two things needs to happen. Either get rid of civil partnerships entirely while opening civil marriages up to couples of the same sex OR open civil partnerships up to include heterosexual people at the same time as allowing two homosexual people to get married.

The second way is inherently better as it allows the most flexibility and is more fair to those who already have civil partnerships.

Response To An Article #1

2013-05-17T08:45:00.000+01:00

Article: Supermarkets cash in on unfounded fears about food and health

Comment by another reader:

I would like to know if my food has GM or MSG in it and it should be standard practice for his info to be on labels so that people can make informed choices about what they eat. There are genuine concerns about eating some of these things - but no, I don't have the scientific evidence link that 'proves' this so I expext it will be dismissed out of hand.

My response:

You do know that GM isn't an ingredient, right? Food does not contain GM. GM stands for "genetically modified". Any plant which has been changed from its original (wild) state can be considered to be genetically modified.

Some examples would be carrots (which were originally small and white), bananas (which were originally so full of seeds they were nearly inedible raw), and roses (which in their wild state are small and only have about 5 petals).

The only problem that I have with some GM foods isn't the food itself, but the huge companies, such as Monsanto, who want to make it illegal to save seeds from the plants you grow.

Open Response to "Jump Off the Coursera Bandwagon"

2012-12-18T09:35:00.000+00:00

Last night Al Filreis, my Modern and Contemporary American Poetry (ModPo) professor, posted a link on the ModPo Facebook group to an article by Doug Guthrie, Dean of George Washington University School of Business. Said article decried the usefulness of MOOCs (Massively Open Online Courses) and Coursera in particular, claiming that learning does not and can not happen in a MOOC setting before then saying, in essence, "I'm making my own MOOC, come and join me!". Dean Guthrie is clever, but not clever enough.

Several people have replied (some have taken ModPo, some haven't) and I thought I would add my own experience to theirs. My response can be found below, although I highly suggest you read the article in question first as well as the other well thought out responses.

I'm a MOOC taker and proud of it! So far I've completed one course on Coursera and am currently taking two others - one on Coursera and the other on Udacity - in addition to taking a for credit distance learning course in Game Development. Am I learning? Yes, very much so! Do MOOCs create a community? Again yes!

With ModPo we had the forums - which were always busy, several Facebook groups, study groups - some online via email or Skype and some which met in person, a twitter list and hashtag, in addition to the live webcasts where we could phone in and talk with Al and his TAs. The other Coursera course that I'm taking also has a good sense of community in that the more experienced students are in the forums and the Facebook group helping out those of us who are new to the subject as well as people being engaged in general conversations pertaining to the subject in both places as well.

I've actually experienced more interaction with the professors and other students in the MOOC setting than I did when I attended a physical college! So yes, there is most definitely learning occurring within the MOOC structure!

In addition to all of this, taking my first MOOC has resulted in something which I thought was lost - a love for poetry and an interest in writing. During the ModPo course, several of the modern poets we were studying interacted in the forums with the students. As a direct result of this I took on a challenge from Kenneth Goldsmith himself to write a "sequel" to his book "Soliloquy" - something which I would have NEVER thought of doing had I not taken ModPo. I start writing my book on the 21st of December and hope to have it available, in digital format, sometime in January 2013.

Random Space Fact (Humour)

2012-12-06T08:45:00.000+00:00

Originally tweeted by @TheScienceGuy

Cognitive Dissonance: The non-existent war on Xmas.... ;-)

2012-11-29T14:03:00.001+00:00

Cognitive Dissonance: The non-existent war on Xmas.... ;-)

Was linked to this blog earlier today and thought I'd share it.

Between Walls - PoemTalk, ModPo and Poetry

2012-11-29T10:09:00.000+00:00

In addition to going through the suggested further readings of Coursera's Modern and Contemporary American Poetry course (ModPo), I'm also slowly going through the nearly 60 (to date) episodes of PoemTalk which is hosted by ModPo's professor, Al Filreis.

In Episode 1 they talk about a poem that we covered in week 3 of the course, "Between Walls" by William Carlos Williams. This poem is considered to be an imagist poem or a poem which causes you to see, in your imagination, the exact object which the poem is about. I highly recommend that you go to the episode page and listen to the podcast as it really adds insight to the poem.

In "Between Walls", WCW mentions "...cinders/ in which shine/ the broken/ pieces of a green/ bottle". Cinders are soft ashes with bits of charcoal in them. Sometimes, if they are fresh, the pieces of coal will still be warm or even still be slightly glowing. Whereas the pieces of glass would normally be cold, sharp, and brittle. If you put them together, you get pieces of glass, warmed by the cinders and reflecting the glow of the embers which would probably give the glass the appearance of glowing on it's own from a distance. To me, this is an image of beauty found in what is usually considered litter and ugliness. This poem reminds us that beauty can be found in the most unlikely of places.

"It seems that he tries to find beauty in unexpected places. Art tries to become new. Poets try to search for new ways of expression. Even the poem seems to be fragmented, broken like the glass..." - Irina-Ana

"A thought that struck me when rereading the poem after the video discussion was that everything in the back wings of that hospital is dead/black/gray/broken. The very detail that adds some color (the color of hope!) into that environment is produced by something that itself is completely broken (broken glass)." - Stefaan

Also, I see the shards of glass as a form of flower. Is the glass alive? No, but the way the shards are arranged and with the light shining upon it, making it sparkle and shine with the hope of new life is a form of life itself!

""Shine" is really positive in this poem. Fragments can be alive!" - Al

"I, too, see the green fragments as something positive, as if from something broken new life can arise and grow. Someone experiences a shattering effect, yet they can pick up their pieces, redefine (reassemble) themselves, and go forward with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. The light shining on the pieces is much like sunlight, warming, invigorating, hopeful, and encouraging. When you feel warmth within you, you grow, just like a buried seed feels the sun's warmth and extends its roots and grows. The fact that Williams locates this "action" in a place where nothing grows enhances the hopefulness in the poem's message, saying that while it may seem improbable, it is not impossible. Life can prevail." - Janet

Poetry Close-Reading: Emily Dickinson

2012-11-21T11:21:00.000+00:00

The first further reading suggestion for ModPo is Emily Dickinson's I Taste A Liqueur Never Brewed. This poem was also part of our first essay assignment. Below is the poem followed by my essay and some of the peer reviews and comments I received. I include them because I appreciate the feedback and don't want to lose the comments when the forums are eventually taken down.

A four-stanza poem, "I taste a liquor never brewed" brings visions of heaven's pearly gates with angels and saints as well as the passing of time via the Earth's four seasons. Yet this poem is more than a metaphor for religion. In this close reading, I will attempt to bring forth my interpretation of this work by Emily Dickinson line by line and stanza by stanza.

"I taste a liquor never brewed--/From Tankards scooped in Pearl--/Not all the Vats upon the Rhine/Yield such an Alcohol!"
This first stanza evokes images of old English pubs, drinking ale with your fellow towns-men from large tankards - generally having a good time. Perhaps it's a celebration of the end of a long winter and the start of a new year and the beginning of spring? "Never brewed" could be alluding to the fact that springtime is before harvest time, so there is no grain to be brewed or turned into alcohol. In this way, "liquor" is a metaphor, but for what? Poetry or imagination would be very fitting here and would make this poem meta-poetic.
A tankard is a large stein or mug, usually made if wood, pewter or silver and often has a hinged lid on top. The phrase "scooped in Pearl" puzzles me. Does it mean that the tankards are made from pearls or maybe the tankard is a large pearl that has been scooped out. OR is the tankard used as a scoop to get the "Pearly" - fine - intoxicating words/poetry?
The Rhine is one of the largest rivers in Europe, going through Switzerland, Germany and The Netherlands (Source: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhine). All are areas which are well known for producing high quality beer and ales. Dickinson is saying that her imagination, words and poetry are finer than the world's most reknown beers.

"Inebriate of Air -- am I --/And Debauchee of Dew--/Reeling--thro endless summer days--/From inns of Molten Blue--"
In this stanza we imagine the poet, drunk - exhilarated by stimulating conversation, or mayhap by the fresh summer air; totally unrestrained and freethinking. Her imagination knows no bounds! The Dew here is the moisture of her own sweat and tears, possibly an emotional response as she is reeling through endless long days of summer.
"Reeling" has several definitions, according to dictionary.com. It can mean to stagger or "sway from dizziness"; to whirl or "turn round and round". An alternative definition could be to "reel off" which is to talk or write quickly. I do not know for certain, but perhaps Dickinson found a large portion of her Muse in the heat of summer.
To carry on the meta-poetic theme, in the final line of the second stanza "Molten Blue" could easily refer to blue liquid ink "burning" words, metaphors and imagination onto sheets of paper.

"When "Landlords" turn the drunken Bee/Out of the Foxglove's door--/When Butterflies--renounce their "Drams"--/I shall but drink the more!"
Dickinson uses quote marks twice here - once around "Landlords" and again around "Drams". This makes me think that these words are meant to be metaphorical. But what are they metaphors of? A literal reading of the first two lines could be that humans are the landlords and we turn the bee out of the foxglove's door when we pick the flowers. This literal reading doesn't really mesh with the third line however. If we follow the seasons, the first stanza is spring, the second summer; this stanza therefore would be Autumn. In the Autumn flowers fade and die. Nature and weather would therefore be the Landlords, wilting the flowers, turning the bees out. In this application of reading the third line fits with the first two. The "drams" are the small sips of nectar which the butterflies drink. In the Autumn, they "renounce thier "Drams"", mate and often die soon after.
Dickinson, however, isn't turned out nor does she renounce her "drams". Instead, she drinks even more deeply of her Muse and imagination, writing even more of her fine words.

"Till Seraphs swing their snowy Hats--/And Saints--to windows run--/To see the little Tippler/Leaning against the -- Sun --/"
It is now Winter and Dickenson - the "little Tippler" - finally stops drinking the fine, intoxicating liquor of her Possibility. Surrounded by snowflakes which have been tossed about by the angels, she is being looked at and watched from the windows by "Saints" (those who were "good" and stayed inside, not partaking of the fine Possibilities the year brings). Does she feel sorry for these "sensible" people? I think she does; they are not part of her Possibility, they are looking through the windows but can not come into it, as much as she might invite them. They don't want to do the work required to enter through the doors. All is not lost, however - we leave our tired "little Tippler" leaning against the sun, waiting for spring to come so that we might imbibe of her Possibility once more.

I think that you are right about the meta-poetic nature of this poem, Muir. You noticed the seasonal references, which I kind of glossed over in my own essay, and I think that you are correct in giving them some significance. Your interpretation of the 'Saints' at the windows is great, and original! And the 'Molten Blue' ink...I missed that, too. A good reading! - Katherine

Muir, I enjoyed the way that you tied this poem to the previous poems we studied by Emily. You mentioned the seasons as I did in my essay, but had a different take on their order. Your mention of "molten blue" being a possible metaphor for ink was interesting, and not something I had occurred to me. You discussed the form of the poem, but there was no mention of the dashes or their meaning. You did discuss the poem in good detail, and I especially enjoyed your last paragraph with the excellent last line: "All is not lost, however - we leave our tired "little Tippler" leaning against the sun, waiting for spring to come so that we might imbibe of her Possibility once more.'" Very enjoyable read, thank you. - Melissa

This was quite a good essay that examines how the form (dashes are mentioned however) that fully examines the story of the poem. I like how they question certain aspects of the poem like the pearl that they do not understand. It lends itself to the close reading at hand. - Anonymous peer review

I thought this was a great interpretation because it was supported by the poem, by quotes. I also think each section describes a change in season, but the course of "intoxication" for Dickinson does not end once the current season does, she drinks more, into the next season. I also agree that the saints are looking out, that they are spectators watching as she participates, as she dwells in possibility. - Lyana

Muir, I appreciated your line-by-line approach. It was well-organized and easy to follow. Sorry I am tired, and this won't be an in-depth critique.
I also noted the quotations marks on Landlord and dram, and thought that they were metaphors. Ur-metaphors? Metaphors BEYOND the central conceit of intoxication. My interpretation was that the Landlord was a reference to an authority figure; and that drams was a measure of some sort of drink that was so meagre or insubstantial that it could easily be renounced. (My thesis was different, so from that point I went in a different direction.)
I really like the idea of Molten Blue being ink; I've come across in a couple of other essays and my response is always, "Dang, why didn't I think of that?" Great thinking. - Elizabeth

Hi Muir,
I think you did a really nice job here of reading line by line, in that you weren't afraid to translate each line into your own words for what you referred to as a "literal" reading before delving into the "metaphorical" reading. That's a great strategy with which to approach this and other especially difficult poems in the course, because I think often our first impulse might be to do the more "complicated" reading where it's easy to get lost or frustrated. One thing I'll say is that a line-by-line approach is just one way to do a close reading -- while it seems paradoxical, you can do a close reading of the poem as a whole, that is, read deeply into what the whole poem's strategy is, what kind of a progression the speaker makes from A to B. I think you were definitely heading there in talking about your reading of the poem's metaphors as "reeling" through the seasons (a very cool notion that I really truly hadn't thought of before!), and I think you could go even further! Nice work! -Lily (ModPo TA)

I think you did a great job wit your essay Muir, your in depth look at the poem caught some of details I totally missed. I love how you picked up on the subtle changes in the seasons from winter in the first stanza of the poem and autumn in the third, it was easier to spot the other seasons but your grasp on those subtle hint made for a unique analysis. You also did a good job looking at the punctuation in the piece, as well as following the story. All in all great essay! - Cassandrea

I gained some new perspectives on this poem from reading your analysis. I loved how you described the dew as the poet's own sweat and tears and the molten blue as the ink on the page (though did they have blue ink in Emily's time?) You nicely summarized the poem, and mostly focused your analysis on how Emily is impacted or inspired by the changing seasons. I liked how you incorporated some meta-anlysis into your reading and would have liked to see more of it. I think at times you have to stretch to make your season analysis fit the poem.
You don't specifically mention the dashes or stanziac form. Nor do you notice the change in point of view. In fact, according to your analysis the last stanza fits right in with the rest of the poem in terms of following the seasons. You read it as the Saints and Seraphs and Tippler are watching Emily during the winter. - Anonymous peer review

The Last 10 Weeks

2012-11-20T09:40:00.001+00:00

Now that my Modern Poetry course via Coursera has finished I have time to come back here.

Hello everyone! Sorry for my long absence. As I said above, for the last 10 weeks I have been taking a Modern and Contemporary American Poetry course (a.k.a. ModPo) on Coursera - an online education platform.

The course was taught by Al Filreis, a professor at Penn University in Pennsylvania, USA. We covered poets from Emily Dickinson to Tracie Morris. Overall, I really enjoyed the course and have learned a lot from it such as how to close-read poetry and that there really are no "final" answers because they always lead to more questions. I will definitely be taking "--THIS" with me in my future endeavours.

Even though the course has finished, poetry hasn't; and neither has the class forums! They will be available to those who have enrolled (all 35,000 of them!) until September 2013. During the next 10 months, some of us will be close-reading poems found on Poem Talk, starting with episode 1. In addition to this, I intend to go through the further reading links in the course and close-read those poems. I will be putting those close readings here in my blog.

Apologies to those of you who don't particularly like poetry, but maybe if you give it a chance you will find, through reading my blog posts, that it isn't that bad after all!

Thoughts on Gender

2012-08-20T18:02:00.000+01:00

As is my wont through out the evening, I was clicking on various links on my Facebook and Twitter time lines when I came across this article on NYMag.com about Agender people. This article got me thinking about the huge spectrum of genders and how people's self-perception of their gender can change.*

Those of you who have known me for awhile will probably know that when I first "came out" as transgender, I considered myself to be bigender and preferred to be addressed using gender neutral terms (i.e. "they"). Over the last year and a bit, I have done a (pardon the expression) shit-ton of research online and in the trans* community and also some serious soul-searching within myself. See, when a person realises that they are trans* (and no, it isn't always a case of "I've known since I was a little kid"), they not only have to make their way in a world that is often hostile towards them, but they also go through periods of self-questioning, self-adjustment, and learning. I know more about myself now then I did a year ago, let alone 20 years ago!

One's gender can change. Let me explain what I mean and what I don't mean by that. I am not saying (as trans- and homophobic people often do) that we can choose which gender we want to be, that we can go from being a transmale to back to our assigned at birth gender like flipping a switch. We can't be "miraculously saved" from who our internal self is just by praying to a person who may or may not have existed 2000 years ago. It doesn't happen. End of. Rather, as we search our hearts and minds and learn about ourselves, the gender that we perceive ourselves to be can change to better reflect our true selves.

To use myself as an example, a year ago I said "I'm bigender. I have two distinct and separate genders (one male, one female) and have no control over which one I am at any given time.". Back then, I rejected binary pronouns and titles and wanted to be referred to in strict gender neutral terms. Over the last 12 months, I have been through several life-changing events. I've fought to change my name and gender on my bills and on my bank account (I'm still fighting to get my title and gender changed on my medical records); I've argued with business owners about getting my hair cut; I've started taking testosterone and have decided to undergo chest reconstruction surgery. As I've done these things, as I've fought for my rights as a transgendered person, my thoughts, feelings and self-perception have evolved and changed as I got to know myself better.

At the present time, I have grown to realise that I'm not two separate genders. In fact, I'm not really even a transexual man (a person who was assigned at birth as female who is transitioning - or has transitioned - to be male), even though I'm taking male hormones and am planning on getting "top surgery" and have adopted male pronouns. The more I learn about gender, the more I talk with people in the trans* community, the more I learn about myself and what my gender is.

I am transgender. I am transmasculine. I use male pronouns and want the world to see me (mostly) as male even though I don't really consider myself to be a "man". I would love to be able to use a gender neutral title instead of the masculine title I am being forced to use. I am quite feminine at times and even call myself "girl" at times. I like wearing kilts and gypsy skirts. Yet I'm not a "lady" or a "woman".

Do you see what I mean? I have gone, over the course of a year, from "I'm both male and female" to "I'm more masculine, but I'm not really either a 'man' or a 'woman'." And this is all because I have taken the time to really learn about who I am and to accept what I've found.

Gender isn't always either-or, black or white. Gender is like sexuality in that there are as many genders and gender expressions as there are colours in the spectrum. And that's what makes the world and life so interesting.

*For those who believe that there are only two genders: take off your blinders, do some research and talk with trans* people please. There are so many variables in gender that it will blow your socks off, seriously.

C25K - Day 2

2012-07-19T15:09:00.000+01:00

To take the place of the 10 week Fresh Start fitness/health programme, I have started the 9 week (estimated) NHS Choices Couch to 5K running programme. The C25K programme is a downloadable podcast that encourages you to build up to running a full 5 kilometres.

Week 4 consists of a 5 minute warm up walk, followed by a 3 minute run, a 90 second walk, a 5 minute run and a 2 and a half minute walk. The runs/walks are then repeated once and you end with a 5 minute cool down walk. The total running time is 16 minutes.

The second run was done on the 18th of July. My usual path was quite busy with construction workers and even blocked off in a few places, forcing me to run around them. There also seemed to be a larger than normal amount of dog walking traffic for some reason. Despite the increase in traffic, I managed to do 4.5 km during the podcast itself, including the warm up and cool down walks.

I found this run to be quite a bit easier than the first run of the week, surprisingly. The backs of my thighs were really tight and achy from cleaning my son's room the day before (lots of squats and bending over at the waist) and I was honestly thinking of taking an extra couple of rest days, doing the second run on Friday and the third run on Monday. Instead, I went out hoping that running would help my sore thighs instead of hurt them more. I was partly right. While I was running, my legs didn't hurt at all, but once I slowed back down to a walk, the pain came back with a vengeance! For the first time ever, the running parts were actually easier than the walking parts of the podcast!

It's the last run of the week tomorrow, then on to Week 5!

C25K - Week 4 Day 1

2012-07-16T11:19:00.000+01:00

To take the place of the 10 week Fresh Start fitness/health programme, I have started the 9 week (estimated) NHS Choices Couch to 5K running programme. The C25K programme is a downloadable podcast that encourages you to build up to running a full 5 kilometres.

Week 4 consists of a 5 minute warm up walk, followed by a 3 minute run, a 90 second walk, a 5 minute run and a 2 and a half minute walk. The runs/walks are then repeated once and you end with a 5 minute cool down walk. The total running time is 16 minutes.

There were quite a few "I don't think I can do this" moments in this run, but I persevered and didn't quit. Granted, my "running" was more like a very brisk march by the end, but the important part was I didn't give up and pushed myself all the way through it.

And that's what's important - not that you ran for 5 minutes at a time (twice!) but that you don't give up, that you push yourself to meet your goal. Because that's what the C25K programme is all about - proving to yourself that you can do this, that you can set a goal and get to (and beyond) it.

This was the first run that I've been able to use the Nike+ app on my iPod. It works rather well, I think. I stopped the workout on the app as soon as I got back home (the podcast got me to 2 and a half laps around my estate, so I finished the third lap). According to the readout, I walked/ran a total of 4.54 kilometres (2.82 miles) at an average speed of approximately 9 kilometres per hour and burned 311 calories.

C25K - Week 3 Day 3

2012-07-15T10:36:00.000+01:00

C25K - Week 3 Day 2 (and other updates)

2012-07-11T17:06:00.000+01:00

To take the place of the 10 week Fresh Start fitness/health programme, I have started the 9 week (estimated) NHS Choices Couch to 5K running programme. The C25K programme is a downloadable podcast that encourages you to build up to running a full 5 kilometres.

Week 3 consists of a 5 minute warm up walk, followed by a 90 second run, a 90 second walk, a 3 minute run and a 3 minute walk (then repeat all once). The final 3 minute walk is considered your cool down walk.

Today was the first run in which I've used my new iPod. Up to now, I was "one of those people" who swore he would never get an Apple product. My main gripe is that they're so expensive (£147+ for a white 8GB iPod Touch). Now that I have one though, I rather like it. The iPod is stored in a "one size fits most" armband which I put on my upper right arm when I'm out and about. The armband is water resistant, which is good, and is hidden from sight under my t-shirt sleeve. It took me a few minutes to get used to, but once I did, I barely paid it any notice. Unfortunately, I don't have the sensor for the Nike+ app yet, so can't say whether I like it or not.

The run itself went well with my pace slightly increased since the first run. Monday's run finished at exactly 2 laps (approximately 1.6 miles according to Google); today's run finished a little ways past that, so I went ahead and completed the third lap accompanied by a few of my own mp3s.

I found the first 3 minute run to be slightly more difficult than last time; by the time Laura said "slow down" I was huffing and quite out of breath. The second 3 minute run wasn't as bad though and I had enough energy to push my speed a bit during the final 60 seconds.

Today was "weighing in" day. My "just me" weight this week is 148 lbs; my clothed weight is 68 kg. A slight increase, but well within normal perimeters.

I also picked up my blood test results from my GP today and made an appointment to see Dr. Curtis, my gender specialist, at the end of this month. Hopefully he'll give me the OK to pursue top surgery.

C25K - Week 3 Day 1

2012-07-09T13:32:00.000+01:00

C25K - Week 2 Day 3

2012-07-06T10:55:00.000+01:00

To take the place of the 10 week Fresh Start fitness/health programme, I have started the 9 week (estimated) NHS Choices Couch to 5K running programme. The C25K programme is a downloadable podcast that encourages you to build up to running a full 5 kilometres.

Week 2 consists of 1 podcast in which you alternately run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes. You do this for a total of 20 minutes, with 5 minutes before and after to warm up and cool down.

Today was the last run of the week and was done in the pouring rain. By the time I had finished the 5 minute warm up walk, I was soaked through. By this time I was tempted to call it quits, but I thought "I might as well do it, can't very well get any wetter".

Everything went really well, with all the runs giving me no problems. I don't know if it was the rain or my stamina having gotten better, but it seemed that I was able to run and walk faster than I did in the previous two runs. The podcast had reached the middle point of the last 2 minute walk when my mp3 player decided to fizz out. I didn't give up though. I ran from where I was to my house. I counted foot falls rather than seconds (right foot, left foot 1. right foot, left foot 2.), so while the timing may have been off a bit, at least I still got that last run in! Skipped the cool down walk, but I did some stretches instead.

I'm worried about my Mp3 player. I plugged it into my computer and it's not finding it, so I can't change the files. Looks like I might have to get that iPod Touch sooner than I had planned.

Week 3 starts on Monday!

Funding for Transition

2012-07-05T12:50:00.000+01:00

After adding up the donations and commissions I've received from some wonderful people in the last month (thank you so much!) and half of the amount it would cost me to buy my testogel privately (I finally got my hormones funded on the NHS), the new total for my top surgery fund is £2750! And just to make it a more even amount, I'll add in an extra £50.

£2800 out of £6000. I'm so close to the halfway mark, I can smell it! Although that may be the chicken I had for lunch.

If I tighten my belt a bit more, I can probably manage to save up another 1-2000 GBP by September. That still leaves me £1000 short of my goal though. If you can help in any way, please do so. Either donating what you can afford or sharing the link to this post - every little bit helps!

For those of you who are able to donate, I thank you in advance. For those of you who can't donate but do link to this post, thank you for helping get word out.

End of Fresh Start Programme

2012-07-04T20:06:00.000+01:00

Today was the final meeting of the 10 week Fresh Start programme for me and the others who have been attending with me since May. As it was our last session, we only did the exercise portion and the weigh in and final waist measurement. The usual food education and taste-testing was replaced with filling out a general satisfaction form.

My final measurements are weight: 66.8 kilograms (147 pounds) and waist: 34 inches. In the last 10 weeks, I have lost 11 pounds and 2 inches off my waist. Not too bad!

On the 18th of July we start the post programme support which lasts for 9 weeks. This consists of going in to get weighed and measured, updating our portions allotments, and having a quick chat with the staff while the new group does their exercises.

While I appreciate the post programme support sessions, I'm going to miss attending the proper Fresh Start sessions themselves. I learned a lot from them and really enjoyed the exercise class each week.