mukuta

voices

2013-03-15T20:23:00.002-07:00

Muddy stream of soiled memories
stained with redness
flows through you
your voice like a vice
flows through the stream
of my soiled memories

mystical you

2013-03-15T20:03:00.002-07:00

what do you do under the winter sun

Rain, does it speak to you

how does the wind play with your hair

the mystery of your weary eyes,

do they hold the key to all the secrets?

silver linings

2013-03-15T19:50:00.002-07:00

for every grey promise you made,
of pebbles in the sky,
of angels who will spread their wings,
every minute,
like a tomb,
i wait.

Innocence

2012-10-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

When the credits roll of Barfi was reeling, I walked of the cinema feeling elated. Love, once again had made me feel euphoric. There was innocence in every phase in the movie, and songs with lyrics that compels me to hum nonetheless. A song which sings of a shelter made of little bit of laughter, little bit of happiness, shreds of dreams and a piece of the moon. Of windows which opens to clouds, and fingers playing with rain,

Standing there amidst the few whistles (in an upmarket swanky multiplex, that’s extremely rare!) I was enraptured.

Innocence played its chords once again!

coloured invitation

2012-04-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

Amidst the crazy work schedule and the Gurgaon- Lajpat commute, I finally took my first few steps towards the D day. It all started with C and me going to Chawri Bazaar to explore designs for Wedding Invitation Cards. It started with my bargaining skills with the auto guy who promised to drop us in front of the Jama Masjid. C kept glaring as I kept insisting that the auto guy uses the meter.

The winter wind against my skin felt too familiar, Delhi was almost home. The branded, designer showrooms of the posh and huge roads of Connaught Place turned into the lanes full of shops for musical instruments in the small jam packed, Daryaganj. Otherwise known for the Sunday book bazaar, the place is a paradise for guitar buyers.

As the lanes became more cluttered, the auto guy left us some few hundred steps away from the Jama masjid. His took his revenge on having to use the meter I felt. Rickshaw took us further inside the maze of Chawri bazaar. I looked away to avert from seeing the raw meat shops on my left to see the legendary Meena Bazaar. It was saddening to see the state in which the once famous for jewellery, precious stones and exquisite clothes, market was. If anything, I could not feel that glamour resides in that market any more. A burqua clad woman stepped up the stairs of the market, and I couldn’t help wonder what was inside her shopping bag. My eyes followed the big red bricks and a glance above, and there it was, the epic Jama Masjid. It is immensely colossal, and one has to admire its intact antiquity. The birds flying around the masjid also had a hue of the same redness. Walking further inside the maze of Chawri Bazaar, the sight of an old, run down Matiz car’s body being beaten up by some youngsters stole my attention. The entire road was crowded with spare parts of cars, bikes, tyres of cars, and other accessories. I had a looming feeling that all of these were stolen.

As we turned towards our left, there it was!

The entire lane was full of shops of wedding invitation cards. I was so apprehensive. With a hint of pride, and a huge scared heart leaping with excitement, I entered the first shop. We looked and looked and yet, what we liked could not be special enough. I wanted something more customised, something more unique and something else. Purple was not purple enough, red was not the right bright red. Seeing C’s patience encouraged me to keep hopping in and out of the very many card shops in that lane. A monkey was also jumping around near a shop adding to the queer ways of the lane. We finally understood, this is not where we will find our card, to get what we wanted, we have to seek it out ourselves,

I stood there, amidst the best place in Dilli to get wedding invitation cards, with an aspiration to create our own card. It was the strangeness, the openness of the place which instilled the creative urge in us and today, as I invite my friends, there is a smile and more enthusiasm for the card echoes the colours of the awe inspiring journey to the magical lane of wedding invitation cards!

Dark Canvas

2012-03-12T01:25:00.001-07:00

The canvas for once is dark’
They tremble, these hands
Fingers itching to touch black
Darker the canvas be,
More black and some blue

What love is all about,,

2012-02-14T04:04:00.000-08:00

I sit and read Rumi today.

“Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” ― Rumi

And I also sit back and think of all the love in my life. Why? Because it is Valentine’s Day today and these are the kind of sentimental stuff an emotionally charged up person like me would do. And not think of family per se though. As they say, you cannot, not love your family. So I am thinking of all the other people who became the eternal sunshine in my life in some way or another.

Kasturi, The strength and steadiness this girl has always amazed me. And she sees right through me.

Susmita, my ray of hope and sanity. Her presence always holds me grounded and guidance shapes every phase in my life. She is the only one who can tolerate all of my madness and smile through it all. And for her voice.

Risha, for her strength.

Maitryee, for all the fun and laughter she brought to my life.

Ila, for all her conscientiousness.

Karuna, for being my inspiration, and for her flair for writing.

Priyanka (Pingu), for always pepping me up

Angana,, for being the most practical roommate ever! And also the most lovable baby among us all.

Chandni,,, for our shared love of music,, and for always bringing excitement back in my life,

Tom, for the positivity and for living his passion for music.

Santanu, Kalyan, Priyanka, Pranjal for being the extended family! And for always fulfilling my crazy insane demands.

All of your love has given me the strength and the perseverance to look ahead in life. I cannot thank all of you enough for always looking out for me. If today is a day to celebrate love, then I would want to celebrate the presence of each one of you in my life. it is for you, I am what I am.

Happy Valentines my love (s). I truly madly deeply love all of you.

2012-02-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

I was once a crazy sixteen year old. Rebellious to the core. I was beyond the ice cream stage. Sixteen was when I fell in love, more so with love. Make up was fascinating. Following fashion trends and I were like bread and butter. Books were about Eric Seghal’s Love story, and Mills and Boons (Ah the treasure of those then!). And there were no cell phones, so waiting for the landline to ring post school so that the girly gossips about crushes could ensue was so inherent to my soul. School was more about dance competition than trigonometry (oh how I loathed Math). Every day was a good day then. Trivial things like eating right (and on time), keeping your cupboard neat or being always politically correct didn’t ever matter. It doesn’t seem that far away. I can still feel the same as I would waiting for the school bus for the perfect day to start when I want to. For it is not that far long ago.

A lot have happened though in between.

Like it is happening now, now. Now I am worried with things like if I cant keep the cupboard straight, or worry over how to keep the diet balanced. And I no longer can get my make up right! And now work is about Monday meetings and researching about chewing gums, household cleaning products (seriously!) and people becoming consumers.Still the seemingly scariest thought always creeping in my head is that I no longer might be the cool elder cousin as I have always been. That’s one throne I will always fight to not give up! Books are all about Meluha and Neruda’s and Rumi’s poetry. Seeking the evolution. Of this world, and of myself.

2012-02-03T01:59:00.001-08:00

there was once a white sun, and now there are just gray rays,

the dilli welcome!

2011-09-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

After the few very short but filled with realities trips to delhi in the recent past, Dilli, as I prefer to call it, welcomes me everytime I set foot in this city. So now when I have come back after a year to the city where I carved my niche for more than 6 years, I could not help feeling as light hearted as I did. When a girl haughtily surpassed me by cutting the queue to buy the prepaid taxi coupon, I almost smiled to myself. For I knew, this has to be dilli! I smiled again when I called the cab driver, “bhaiyyaji” and my heart leaped with joy when “bhaiyyaji” turned on the city’s FM radio. Songs from Monsoon Wedding, Dev D, Aisha, Band Baja Baraat had me tapping my feet. Such dilli centric songs! Every song made me feel more at home and the pompousness of the music just reminded me of how loud dilli is. Looking out of the window, I could see faces of delhites returning from work, exasperated, irritated, and am sure foul mouthed frustrated at the insane traffic jam. Most faces with a rough edge to it, stress lines screaming of the late hours at work. This part of dilli doesn’t excite me much, the city which is so full of life and colours, actually saps in all your energy. I look away to the other side of the window and get startled by an almost stale bunch of red roses, right against my window. Several small children are scattered around all the cars stuck in the traffic, selling bunches of red roses.

Every rose, every song in the fm, every traffic point, has memories attached to it! and what comforts me most is the thought that I am home,, for making more memories~

And when,,

2011-08-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

And when the fireflies glimmer,,

I see your intriguing eyes,,

And when the stars flicker,,

I feel your breath quiver,, .

And when the sweet breeze flow,,

I hear your velvety voice,,

And when it rains,,

I feel your love.

2011-08-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

The circle,,

That starts with you

Ends with me,,

Is of love

2011-08-13T00:18:00.000-07:00

So it goes,

Every droplet of rain, reminds me of every jump in the puddle,,

I wish I could write a love story,, a story where there is a girl who is besotted in love , and a guy,, who dreams of that girl every single day,,

And of the moment when they meet for the first time,,

I wish I could write how delicate and innocent every single breath was of the girl when the guy would call her name,,

And of the moment when he touches her soul for the first time,,

Every droplet of rain, reminds of every dream I sowed.

Entreat to Rain,,

2011-07-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Oyster gray skies

And the silvery chains

Tussle with the moonlight

And the playful stars,,

For I long to hear

The wind, whispering sweet lullabies..

To the southern skies,,

And the silver chains,,

Rejuvenating the earth, tonight!

scattered happiness

2011-06-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

Broken pieces of happiness,,

Scattered among the sand,,

Amidst the empty,,scanty beach,,

Shadows of birds flying high,,

Tracing myriads of memories,,

snow clouded mind full of songs,,

2011-04-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

not many days ago, while on a very emotionally draining journey i discovered few songs that could sing to my soul, quietening the storms inside my soul and distracting my mind in a sweet way. After some uncanny seven long hours of sitting inside the flight with old auntyjis and unclejis trying to know my entire life history, and the reason of travelling alone (!!) i needed my much needed space.

the moment i could dig out my earphones from my (aah why so big) bag, i was grateful for the invention of the same,, :) my route to escapism,, from the very many turbulent thoughts in my head and from the unwanted conversations as well,,

figuring out which song to start with is always a challenge for me,, after all,, it has to match my current mood,, and the lyrics should sing similar tunes as of my thoughts too,, it was then when Lady Antebellum's need you now came to my rescue!

picture perfect memories,, yearnings to be with someone,, and the feeling of being all alone,, the song is so mesmerising i could not help repeating it in my playlist again and again,,there is no wonder at the number of Grammys this song won this year. it did bring back the mushiness in my soul right then and there as i sat staring as the rain splashed out on the huge window of the lounge area in the airport,,

While at being all mushy, the song May Angels Lead You In,, by Jimmy Eat World tops my chart anyday,, it featured in the rom-com Cinderella Story and in one tree hill,, it has such a sweetly sad tinge to it,, missing out on the chances,, hoping,, wishing,, lamenting,,

teri nigaahon se, teri hi raho ke, kareeb se gayi zindagi,, this another song that pulls all the right strings in my heart sings of the lost chances and of lost love,,,of sadness and of separations,,i couldnt help feel the huge lump in my throat and feel all the more alone in this huge place. So many strange faces,, so many unfamiliar people,, i couldnt have felt more lonely in that entire journey,,,

or so i thought! for then "Where do you go when you're lonely" the Tyler Hilton & Bethany Joy Lenz version feat in One Tree Hill transported me to a different corner in my heart where i long to sing this one song for that one,, Lonelier still,, and trust me,, to see the "aahh so in love" couples did not help!! and trust me again they were all around me,,

I had to come out of my trance and kept flipping the songs till i saw Fireworks by Katy Perry in my list! just the song to break the trance,, oh ya by now the we all would have had enough of the song,, but then at that moment Katy managed to do wonders to my down in the pits mood,, it seemed as if she was almost was singing for me!! for i did feel like a plastic bag,, already buried six feet down under,,and so wanted to let my colours burst!! boom boom boom,, even brighter than the moon moon moon! :)

I could actually smile to myself when "Train"s "Hey Soul Sister" started!! its such a happy happy song,, with such fun lyrics too,,"I'm so glad you have,,A one track mind like me,,You gave my life direction,,A game show love connection,,We can't deny" repeat repeat repeat!! my heart leaped out when the song ended,, :D

it was not that bad of a journey after all,, i looked out of the window to see snow all around and trust me it was one helluva breathtaking view! it really didnt matter much to me the fact that i was on air two hours more than it was scheduled,, or that i was transported to another country,, or that i almost thought that the flight was crash landing in an awesomely huge frozen sea,,(hehe!!) It didnt because i had Lady Antebellum,, Train,, Katy Perry and many more to keep me company! :)

Its such a magical mysteria, as def Leppard sings,, in Hysteria,, the way these songs could take to the places in my mind,, places where i could not imagine going amongst all the chaosness around me, but i did travel,, to the places where i could not imagine going,, all because of these songs,, :)

Sea full of memories

2011-03-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

Salty gray wind

The sequined sky

Painting many hues,,

Fuming fanatical waves,

Moon pulling the strings,

Hushes at the shore

Hazy heavy footprints

Smearing away

The remembrance

And the moon shines on

Upon the wind and waves

And the sequined sky

2011-03-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

will the clouds draw your dreams in the sky,,

will the raindrops sing of your happiness,,

will the thunders scream of the restlessness in your heartbeats,,

will the kohl rimmed eyes speak of the unslept nights,,

will the ironical smiles hint of the unquenched yearnings,,

will the careless looks carve out the mystical paths,,

~silent conversations~

2011-03-04T00:09:00.000-08:00

sweet.. stories these silences talk of,,
hushed and quiet, candid conversations..

unheard and unseen are such rendezvous..
quaint and alluring enchanting evenings..
inciting advent of many more such stories..

tousled in each other's thoughts,,
tangled in each other's eyes..
unaware and naive of the queer ways,,

enlivening, intensifying and sweetening...
.....the stories these silences talk of.

Night and You

2011-03-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

I see this night as you,

the darkness has fallen upon me,,
and your mystical ways have left me bemused
wanting the night not to end,,

soft and calm dew drops shivers my skin,
and your arms lock me in sweet embrace
wanting the night to not end,,

moonlight so hazy.. it moistens my eyes,
and i heave a sigh struggling to see your face,, in despair!
wanting the night to not end,,

For i see you as this night.

2011-03-03T23:54:00.000-08:00

death spoke to me once again,,
such deep velvety voice
allures my soul,
tells it to play along
with the pain, the loneliness,,
and with the cold dark nights

isn't it simpler?
My soul questions,,
and smiles ironically,,
to walk into the deep velvety voice instead?

my new found love,,,

2011-02-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

she smiles,,and my heart melts,,

everytime she grabs my thumbs,, she will look into my eyes and smile,,those tiny fingers,,ooh i could just keep on holding on to her hands,,

the sparkle in her eyes,, everytime i call out to her,,the happy shrieks,, the gleeful laughters,, aah,, who would not fall in her web of charm,,a charmer she is,,she already knows to smile back at every stranger with an admiring smile,,

oh and she loves it when i sing to her,,she is the only reason i ve been singing also,, she would definitely sing along,,and move her tiny feet up above,,

those tiny feet,, and her wobbly legs,,already striving to take the first few steps,,oh but she cant crawl yet! we put her in her back, and seconds later she is in her tummy,,looking up,,smiling her charming smile,, one you cant not fall for!!

oh how i love you my darling,,and when they say,,"i would give anything for you" i guess this is what they mean,,for i would definitely give anything,, for you to smile!

fear

2011-02-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

you've walked to me tonight
shadowing the moonlight
you've touched my tangled hair
the air so heavy and so dark
i shiver in the cold so stark
quaintly engulfing the stillness
stealthily fleeing my dreams

2011-02-06T04:58:00.000-08:00

its this february wind again,,
which blows and takes me to the lowest low,,

the lanes are dark,,
where my dreams they walk,,

when sleep is careless,,
and heart is heavy,,

they toss and turn,,
my hopes with burns,,

and smiles are rare
twisted very the curve,,

2011-02-02T04:45:00.000-08:00

For I know how I feel for you,,
I know the familiar knots in my stomach,,
And the fluttering,,
Like a butterfly jumping..

To feel the sweet anticipation again,,
As if there is rhythm in every song,
And rhyme in every poem,
Music singing to my soul softly..

Is it you..
Or some magic?
For I am dancing to every tune,,
And smiling to every face