Murder Boredom

Apple to Release a Breast-Implanted Music Player? and more..

2007-03-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

What's up, murderers?

What the hell is happening to our world? To my left right now is the television -- the evening news broadcast. I remember my eyes were superglued to the television screen minutes ago... until I heard the horrifying headlines. Now I am telling you, it has got to be some sort of subconscious reflex that I quickly un-burried my ass from the couch right that very instant, as the next thing I knew, is here I am writing an entry.

What just happened, if I'm right, is what Psychologists would call self-defense; Physicists would call resistance; Philosophers would call life-preservation; and I would simply call run.

So why am I keeping the news program running til now? I don't know. Maybe it has evolved into something comical and I'm using it to fuel my thoughts. Maybe it's not that bad after all.

Anyway, since I like keeping my backpack lightweight, I rummaged through the Internet and found some interesting news (the apple story is fictional but funny). My personal favorite has to be this:

The driver of an armored truck in Edmonton, Alberta
appeared to be signaling for help as he repeatedly swung
his door open. After six police cruisers chased and stopped
the truck, it turned out, the driver had simply tried to
fan fresh air into the cabin after the other guard had
passed gas.

And then some more:

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer
chips that can be implanted and play music inside women's
breasts. The music is in stereo, of course.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women
are always complaining about men staring at their breasts, and
not listening to them.

--

A US family is suing Greyhound after the contents of a bus
toilet were dumped through their open car sunroof. Robert
and Angela Stokes and their three children, aged nine, ten
and 22, were covered with faeces, urine and toilet paper,
reports the Toledo Blade. The family, from Ottawa County,
Ohio, were returning from a Mother's Day meal out at a Toledo
restaurant when it happened. They were following a Greyhound
bus on an interstate highway when the contents of the bus's
sanitary tank were suddenly dumped on their 4x4 vehicle. The
waste went through the open windows and sunroof of their Ford
Explorer, drenching all five family members. "My client was
driving in heavy traffic. They had nowhere to go. What can you
do?'' said Robert Bryce, an attorney for the family. Despite
being covered with waste, Mr. Stokes followed the bus to obtain
its identification information and registration number. The
Stokes are seeking more than £150,000 damages from Greyhound
for damage to the vehicle and their clothing, plus medical
treatment and testing for infectious diseases. Mr. Bryce said
the Stokes' vehicle was declared a total loss by their
insurance company because the stench and filth couldn't be
removed, even though the interior was steam-cleaned several
times.

Eeek! Must be why I never liked the idea of having sunroof installed! Alright, thanks for reading, that's it for now!

--
Thank to GopherCentral!

Either You Don't Know How to Screw, or I Don't Know How to Shit

2007-03-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hello murderers! (Put aside that burger you're munching on before you proceed.)

This morning, as I was sitting in the bathroom throne, I just had to thank God (yes, I'm implying that I am religious. I pray sometimes as I empty out to beat boredom caused by the daily boringly inherent obligatory predictables). I realised just how blessed I am to have been given perfectly working digestive tubes, diligently siphoning anything valuable out of the junk I ate yesterday and excreting whatever is left of the junk. It was kinda cool too, to just sit there... eyes closed... and feel the senses. Consequently, I wondered just how many people in the world actually does that, and began to regard myself perverted. So I quickly snapped out of it and decided to continue old-fashioned style.

I remember an old joke you've probably already heard of, but here it is anyway:

--
A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding
joy through unusual activities.

"Even the most natural and common actions can provide an immense
amount of pleasure," said the professor. "For example, a good
bowel movement can be as enjoyable as making love."

A student replied, "Professor, either you don't know how to
screw, or I don't know how to shit."
--

And a couple other oldies to get you through the day:

--
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go
out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.

"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first
blonde.

"Good idea," said the other.

So the both started yelling, "Together! Together!"

--

John: Waiter, I'd like a hamburger and some kind words.

Waiter: Here's your hamburger, sir.

John: What about the kind words?

Waiter: I wouldn't eat that hamburger if I were you, sir.
--

Okidoki! That's it for now! 'til our next attempt to murder boredom!

ROFL with the Whitest Kids U Know

2007-03-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

Hey murderers! Do you know who the Whitest Kids U Know are? No?

You Can See Me?

If you think...

Peeing

For more of their sketches visit WKUK's site.

Procrastination Killed Kapitan Basa

2007-03-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

Mmmkay, this is weird. First post, and I feel like I'm talking to myself. Now hold on, this is going to be technically irrelevant to murdering boredom, but a little introduction wouldn't hurt now, would it?

Today I have decided to claim some space in the blogosphere and go by the name of... *sniff* Kapitan Nasa (Captain Covet) *sniff* -- mmmkay, before you think of anything derogatory about me, please know that it was supposedly Kapitan Basa (Captain Read). But mmmyeah, as you may have probably guessed, that friggin' name is taken! I swear it could've been mine! It once was available, but I stalled, and now I suffer.

Kapitan BNasa. Dammit, Procrastination! Dammit.

If you're Pinoy, chances are, you're already familiar with Kapitan Basa. But since this is WWW (and I'm feeling a little lazy), you have the privilege of clicking this link -> Batibot (the Philippine TV version of Sesame Street).

Okay, so much for the first post! Let's start beating the hell out of boredom.

--
*If you find anything fairly entertaining in Murder Boredom, please link to it.
*Link = Love. Love me = Love you. So Love me.
*Thanks to PCTF, Inc. for Kapitan Basa's photo.

Sample

2007-03-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

this is a sample post. please don't take it seriously. thanks.