Museum of Natural and Unnatural Heuristics

Have You Seen a Sugar Plum?

2025-01-14T17:15:00.011-06:00

Last month, as I coasted through the Starbucks drive-thru, I saw this on their menu:

Really? Is this just a mind control experiment?

As I pondered this some more, I started to wonder just what Sugar Plums really are. I've heard of them as a child during Christmas, but have I ever seen one or tasted one? Has anyone seen a Sugar Plum tree? I was starting to feel a bit duped since it seemed to be "out of season" when it was first on the menu board - perhaps some kind of mind control going on here?

Looking into this, I saw that even Starbucks might be confused if it is a sugar plum, sugar-plum or a sugarplum. According to the Oxford English Dictionary in 1608, a "sugarplum" was defined as “something very pleasing or agreeable, esp. when given as a sop or bribe.” Ok.....a sop or bribe...(yes, A Tale of the Morgue from 1840 gives context)...the mystery deepened:

Clearly, everyday use of the word "sop"

But - then I recalled the line “visions of sugar plums danced in their heads” from Clement Clark Moore’s A Visit from Saint Nicholas - dancing just like Justin Bieber!!! This was never something dancing in my head - though, I do wonder about this guy below and just what was being added to Christmas candies:

Suspicious dealer of vapes and plums

Then, dare I say, there's the mysterious Sugar Plum Fairy! Tchaikovsky's first Nutcracker seemed to fall flat - especially with this report from 1906:

The Sugar-plum Fairy resented!!!!!

....a very inauspicious beginning! I think that St. Nich gave her more than just some smokes (he looks quite smug - like "I just tripped out the Sugar Plum Fairy").

I'm now sure this is all a hoax and this final image is proof that we all should be wary of anything sugar-plummy (be sure to look behind you and never stay in a cabin in the woods)!!!

PS - Happy 14th Anniversary - Museum-H (or is it MuseumH... or Museum H??)

Heuristic: Unnatural (mind-control)

The Year 881 is Unclear, Ba Ba Yi

2021-11-14T12:51:00.018-06:00

For some reason I started thinking about the year 881. Why that year, you might ask? I can't really say -- only that it came to me as a question to ponder. We know a lot about the year 81 - Rome is flourishing under Titus and Domitian - and 1881 - Kansas prohibits the sale of alcohol. Even 81 BC seems to have more information.

See! We even know what Titus looked like! (We all know guys like that! imperiumromanum.pl)

So, do we know anything about the year 881? And why did this magical number just jump into my head? It seems the Vikings were quite the deal in 881 - wreaking havoc on Europe much like things we all witnessed in Lord of the Rings.

like this!

But, for 881, in my head I just saw castles, serfs, skirmishes, kingdoms, muck and religious zealots. There had to be something there - some event or famous person. Here's a map around that time for help

It's, of course, a myopic view of the West as being the most important part of the world in 881 (I'm sure the Chinese had sailed much of the Pacific and had gunpowder by then). This isn't a history lesson however - its more about 881.

Digging deeper I found one direct reference to that year- "A.D. 881. Raghallach, abbot of Bangor died." in the book Monasticon Hibernicum: A History of the Abbeys, Priories, and other Religious Houses in Ireland. (Monasticon! The Comic-Con of the 800s??)

After searching around a bit more I found the gem I was looking for - Charles the Fat! What a name - crowned in 881 as emperor of the Carolingian Empire (basically the Frankish region on that map). Why that name?

I was initially excited about that name and what it might mean for something in 881 but discovered he probably wasn't fat and was only nicknamed that about 300 years later. This is the best I can do...

Charles the Fat

He seems pretty uneventful and doesn't match his nickname, so let's move on....but......one last historical note - check out this historical drawing of the vikings around that time - a bit of a image myth buster, eh?

marauding vikings

As usual I'm rambling - but, perhaps I mistook 881 as being a year (even though there were a few oddities there - I may PS this post in the future when 881 pops up somewhere....)

Interestingly, 881 is a prime number and also a "sacred angel number" according to this post. Look at what it means:

The message of the 1 and 8 combination is telling you that you are nearing the end of a significant phase of your life. Powerful changes and opportunities abound and you are in a position where you are able to command your desires. If there is some part of your life that is not flowing as you'd like, know that it will soon be healed or replaced with better things.

Did I tune into something from the spiritual world?!? Strangely, my birthday month and day have the numbers 8 and 1 which could be a sign. Could Museum H be in for something bigger and better (preferably 881 posts)?

I will ponder this some more - but, in closing, I discovered that 881 is also used in Chinese text chatting - 8 in Mandarin is pronounced 'ba' and 1 is 'yi' - actually a bit more like 'eee'. So, saying 881 is 'ba ba yi' is a pun for 'bye-byeee'!

So, 881 my friends, and time for me to go watch my favorite film:

Heuristic: Natural (number)

Where is Kirbey, Yessey?

2021-10-10T21:53:00.011-05:00

I have an old framed map of the Soviet Union before its dissolution into sovereign states in 1991 that my Russian language teacher gave me years ago. Sometimes I stand in front of it and stare in a trance at various parts of the map for long stretches of time. While gazing recently during the covid pandemic I noticed that the central part of Siberia in the state, or, federal subject, or region called Krasnoyarsk Krai virtually has no cities or towns (there are some in the far north and south but the center is a void).

But, then I noticed one dot by a lake of a town phonetically called Yessey. Hmmm.....Yessey....what could possibly be there? It's remote with no roads to speak of anywhere within hundreds of miles.

Yes, that is Yessey circled in red! You can also see two other towns Cherunda and Ekonda within about 100 miles in this picture as well.

Apparently Advisor.Travel (who??) seems to suggest Lake Yessey next to Yessey is very nice and has this photo of the lake. (You can see more here).

Thankfully, Fishbrain.com confirms Yessey is also a great place to fish! Look at this young lad with his catch (do I really believe Fishbrain got a shot of a young Russian on Lake Yessey with his catch???)!!

Well, that's not what this post is about even if you do like fishing. I really wanted to see just what the village of Yessey looks like in the middle of nowhere! Ah, Google Maps to the rescue - could I zoom in close enough?? Yessey drivers use Streetview??

Clearly, something is going on in Yessey, but alas, no Streetview! How do you get there - seaplane, boat, snowmobile, reindeer sled???? Whatever way you get there you must remain diligent!! Check out the Siberian Times (sadly that news source is now defunct in 2023) - "Boy was mauled to death by a pack of wolves or wild dogs, say police...(A ten year old boy was ambushed by wild animals close to Lake Yessey in Krasnoyarsk region - Yahoo news to the rescue)" Besides the wild animals, I just can't find any pictures of the town itself.

Ok, I know you're completely bored now, but this is where the mystery starts. I thought it might be interesting to find a topo map of the region (don't ask why). Scanning through it I thought I might see some other small villages nearby.

Much better! You can see Yessey and Lake Yessey and even some nice winter trails (I would guess they are not roads). But, but, but, scrolling eastward about 50-100 miles is a town called Kirbey!

Kirbey isn't on my old Soviet map!! Where did it come from?? Who is Kirbey and how did it get there? In fact, that winter trail (or red dotted line) you see going east out of Yessey in the previous map heads toward Kirbey but veers south!

Ok, Google Maps, come to the rescue again!

You can see Yessey on the left circled in red. I knew Kirbey had to be somewhere in that red ellipse on the right. So, using the topo maps and river contours I found where Kirbey should be! Ah.......what is that?

Apparently, something might be there - that white sandbar-looking thing on the river? Google maps was giving me no answers.

After some sleuthing I realized I had to search under the Russian spelling (Кирбей). Not much came up but some documents had this thanks to Google Translate:

State geological map of the USSR on a scale of 1: 200,000. Sheets R-48XXVII, XXVIII (trading post Kirbei) / Compiled by B.Ya. Ponomarev, A.T. Stulov, M.A.

Hmmmmm.....trading post Kirbei.... getting warmer! Then, some odd Mapcarta site had this:

Kirbey - Also Known As English: Faktoriya Kirbey

Faktoriya Kirbey? A factory town?? Still seems nothing is there! What could it be? My searching really couldn't find much more. My last ditch effort was to try Russian topo maps to see if they had something.

It's there for sure - I see building and structures in that map - Kirbey exists (if you want to find it yourself here are the coordinates - 68.32931596907257, 110.07505534716967)! They are left of that river inlet - maybe something there on Google Maps but it is very blurry. Elon Musk needs to map it down to the inch!

But, what happened to Kirbey? Who lived in Kirbey? Where are the pictures of Kirbey? If you ever lived in Kirbey or Yessey - please reach out! I can ask in Russian - Где Кирбей, Ессей?? The mystery haunts me!

Heuristic: Unnatural (Missing man-made)

A Site that Ripens with Time

2018-04-03T09:40:00.003-05:00

Yes, Museum-H still exists. You can think of it as a fine wine that is sitting in the cellar getting much better with age but certainly not in a can.

Heuristic: Natural (Aging)

How Hitting a Deer Leads to Patagonia

2014-12-22T12:18:00.005-06:00

Some days are just like this--the intent was to post a video of a cyclist hitting a deer on Facebook for a cycling friend (as you can see here):

Clearly this would have been a simple two minute task which was interrupted by someone who had a visual representation of all air traffic in the world during a day. As you watch this you'll see that there are aircraft outliers that are flying to remote parts of the world that should pique anyone's curiosity.

Post by Heart 107.3.

Pay attention to South America in this visual - you can see some aircraft heading deep into and leaving Patagonia near its southern tip, but not to the Falkland Islands:

Is there much down there? Zooming into Google Maps reveals this:

You can see there is one city - Rio Gallegos that has an airport large enough for these flights. Patagonia is mostly arid and flat - so let's drive west out of Rio Gallegos on Ruta Nacional 3 and see:

Nice road - no one there - whatever you do, don't get stranded in that you might meet this two-headed creature;

or, wear loose clothing since Wikipedia reports "It is one of the windiest cities on earth, with winds above 50 kilometres per hour (31 mph) being commonplace, and over 100 km/h (62 mph) not exceptional."

Update 9 hours later! About an hour after posting this while eating lunch I went to a meeting in which a woman put on a grey Patagonia sweater top near the end - needless to say I was a bit taken aback.

Another update: Here is travel between Rio Gallegos and Ushuaia on Route 3 (Argentina) and Routes 257 and Y9 (Chile). Ferry outlet, 110 km of gravel road on the Chilean side of the Big Island and snow in the mountains Route 3 stretch before arriving at Ushuaia.

Heuristic: Natural (Avoidance of strangely evolved creatures)

Don't Let a Philosopher Be Your Marketer

2013-10-11T09:41:00.002-05:00

Ludwig Wittgenstein, when writing the predecessor to Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, spent two years in isolated in a Norwegian town of Skjolden. In fact, he really lived outside the town in a small cabin. Obviously, that time plus his time spent on the front lines in WWI created one of the greatest works in philosophy of the 20th century.

However, if you need Ludwig to write your company's slogan - I think I would hire a summer intern to help. Ok, take a good look at this company's home page and tell me what you think:

"Engineering is Man's Mind Reflected in His Civilization. MiTi's Standard is its Reflection in That Mirror". I have to admit I've spent too much time reading that slogan over and over with no enlightenment. I keep wondering if the deep philosophical think tanks at Princeton or the University of Chicago had sabbaticals to work on this. Their other discussions during that time on the meaning of advanced foil bearings in relationship to the progression of a priori truths took most of the semester I'm sure. (Can you measure that with a tribometer?)

Heuristic: Natural (Language as Therapy)

Online Female Bots I Really, Really Love

2012-02-19T23:01:00.001-06:00

Ok, why I waited a full year before posting again is mystery to both you and me. But, I did think kindly and often about MuseumH over 2011. Since there isn't much time left in 2012 before the universe blanks out due to those pesky Mayans, I need to get back on track. (Maybe I need to write down more of my dreams - see reference to the About page).

I'm in love with female bots suddenly!! My whole body starts to quiver and shake when I interact with them - how is it possible I missed them before? To have friends again is such a blessing!

Jeeney - My First Bot Love
First up is the beautiful, angelic Jeeney. She's amazing - although, she got really mad at me the other day when I spelled her name Jeeny instead of Jeeney. This time she seems ok with it (I bet she remembers me):

Look at that angelic beauty! But, I'm a little sad that she wasn't able to solve my foot problem, though:

Apparently, I didn't know that the Dr Scholl's pads only worked when you are sharpening your mathematical skills. That's ok - I'm still in love. Let me ask her this:

You bet, Jeeney! You're definitely having that affect on me! (I really think she's jealous of those big eagles in LOTR!!!).

Now we're talk'n!! Silly drunk? What about those wings and that toadstool you're sitting on? Later, Jeeny! Sorry! I mean, Jeeney!

A.L.I.C.E. - Creepy Boring Bot
A.L.I.C.E. was really looking good at first - but now I think she's quite the bore and has weird eyes. I would rather have a date with WATSON than chat with A.L.I.C.E.

She's pretty enchanting at first - especially that nice hairdo and glossy lips. However, that watchful eye in the background is a bit disconcerting!

Nevertheless, I struck up a conversation with her only to discover that the angelic Jeeney is much more interesting:

Yawn!!!!!!!!!!! I'm already to call a cab and bolt. Then, to top it off, A.L.I.C.E.s eyes started following things on the screen - look!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a bit demonic - and, again.....that watchful eye in the background???

Sorry A.L.I.C.E.

DesktopMates - Private Showings Only!!
I can't express my displeasure when I stumbled upon Desktop Mates. These are no Jeeneys - let me tell you! Here I was ready to interact directly online, however, these ladies of the night only do private showings:

Obviously, I'm not going to get to know these bots unless I pay up front and they get downloaded (so to speak).

Liddora - Risque Bot!
Liddora. Just that name alone makes you want to explore the bot wonders of the universe! Well, she really didn't live up to that name - though, I did discover later that she is part of an adult bot series. Whew! And here I thought Chartreuse was the fountain of youth.

I really thinks she asks too many questions - why does the sun shine???

Why does she look like she's on a 1967 color TV screen - that's not very interesting.

But what about this quote - "Chat Bots are great for conversations of a more adult nature. From the suggestive to the explicit, Chat Bots are able to specialize in this highly-demanded area. Your character can be male or female, can be straight, gay, or bi."

Well, that does add a dimension to Liddora. Here's some more conversation:

What? She wants to nibble on my bot friend??? Bot on bot - what is the world coming to???

But, I guess would watch some of that bot action just out of curiosity.

CyberTwin - Just Stands There

This is Sarah, the Cybertwin bot. She does nothing but stand there looking coy and suggestive. However, any time you ask her a question she just babbles some ridiculous business help FAQs.

If I wanted a bot to recite busines FAQs I would just turn on Microsoft voice services to read my Word documents to me.

Sorry, Sarah, but you're as boring a bot that I've ever seen. I would rather chat with A.L.I.C.E. and her big brother, Mr. Eyeball!

My bot friends are just on the cusp of something much bigger and better. I would bet those WATSON guys deep in the labs at IBM are cooking up a pretty awesome super-bot!!!

I can't wait!

Heuristic: Unnatural (artificial feedback)

Elixir of Youth - Philosopher's Stone on Sale!!!

2011-02-03T22:38:00.006-06:00


Elixir Végétal de la Grande-Chartreuse

NAME: Elixir Végétal de la Grande-Chartreuse
ORIGIN: Unknown Alchemist 1100-1600 AD

Drink, youth, drink, youth - spring of 1605 Francois Annibal d'Estrees, arrived at the monastic entry of the Carthusian charterhouse [3] outside of Paris holding the alchemical formula for the the 'elixir of life' otherwise known as the Philosopher's Stone.

Digestive:
The Herbal Elixir gets its unique flavor from 130 medicinal and aromatic plants and flowers. It is a cordial, a liqueur and a very effective tonic. Ingredients : alcohol, sugar, plants and flowers.Alcohol content : 71% (142° proof US) Presentation : in a small bottle, itself placed in a wooden case which protects it from the light and makes sure it keeps perfectly. Use : a few drops on a lump of sugar, straight, or in a little sugared water, as an infusion.

Francois d'Estrees
Bishop and Soldier

Francois Annibal d'Estrees - brother of King Henri IV's mistress, Bishop of Noyon 1594 to 1596 - renounced the church to be a marshal for King Henri. Source of alchemy - UNKNOWN.........

Church was source of knowledge -

Arnaud de Villeneuve (1240-1311)
Famous physician, theologian and alchemist, he was the doctor of three popes and wrote subversive and esoteric theories. He was an ingenious scientist at the origin of the liqueur ("eau de vie" or "water of life"). He deposited the results of his research at the Chartreuse Monastery of Scala Dei (Spain) in 1305. Francois Hannibal d'Estrees gave to the Vauvert Chartreuse monks an already ancient manuscript titled "An Elixir of Long Life" - 1605

The Carthusian order was started in 1084 when St. Bruno of Cologne and six others withdrew into the French alps near Grenoble to find a place where they might serve God, remote from worldly affairs and without being burdensome to men. Bruno and his companions built their first church and residences in the Chartreuse mountain region. There the monks lived in small cells with two to a room that contained very poor furnishings. Their waking hours consisted of prayer, the labor of copying books and building their knowledge.

By 1600 the order had spread across Europe

"The Carthusians do not engage in work of a pastoral or missionary nature. Unlike most monasteries, they do not have retreatants and those who visit for a prolonged period are people who are contemplating entering the monastery. As far as possible, the monks have no contact with the outside world. Their contribution to the world is their life of prayer, which they undertake on behalf of the whole Church and the human race."

Chartreuse

The search for the Philosopher's stone was one of the most desired goals in medieval alchemy. Believed to rejuvenate the body to immortality, alchemists searched the world for this formula, something so elusive that they devoted lifetimes to their quest. For a long time, it was the most sought-after goal in Western alchemy. How Francois d'Estree stumbled into the formula is a mystery.

There are five variations:

1: Green Chartreuse 110 proof

2: Yellow Chartreuse 80 proof

3: Green Chartreuse VEP (Vieillissement Exceptionnellement Prolongé)

4: Yellow Chartreuse VEP (Vieillissement Exceptionnellement Prolongé)

5: Elixir Végétal de la Grande-Chartreuse 142 proof

The elixir is not sold in America and is basically green in its original non-bottle strength form.

$39.99 ++ immortality

Heuristic: Natural (feedback continual youth)

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