MusicFromTheFilm

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 20:29:00 +0000

He said: "You think it's all different. You think that you live in a world of many, many boxes. There is a box for "Home" and a box for "Work" and a box for "Love" and one for "Money, and one for "Fun" and another for "Tears" and one for "Anger" and another box for Hate" and "I'm Late" and on and on and on. All of these things that might seem separated to you are, in fact, the same thing. They are all the same thing. You see? There's no divide. It's all "One" . It's just all one thing. One big, all around you thing. You understand? It's all the same thing."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 06:54:00 +0000

She said: "At first I didn't know. It took a little time. At first I couldn't see and I didn't know where it came from. At first I just waited a while and it just happened, so I watched it and when I was ready I just stood up and told it my name. At first it was all a little crazy, but it was also fun. I didn't know where it came from; it just came. But now it is not the same. It's not the same anymore. It doesn't happen to me the way it did. It's not the same as it was. Now it's different and difficult and it's cold and sometime it's dark and I wait for it in vane and without an answer. I know what changed, but I can't do anything, really, about it. I can not do what I once did with grace. I can't see what I use to see and I can't call out the name because I don't know it anymore. So I wait in the darkness and I call out in the night and I wait by the river in case it is there for me, and I speak it's name and I hold my breath and I breathe out and I sit down by the water and I look at my reflection and I wait to see if it some day returns and if there is a message and if I can see what it is. But I don't think it's coming back. I think It's not going to be what it was, and I don't know what I think about that. All I know is that every thing changes and that happens to everything."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:56:00 +0000

He said: "I could see it from above. I could see it even from far away. I could see it and I could smell it all around me. I was immersed in it. It was refreshing when I breathed in and it filled my body with it's essence. I was dizzy with the color and the light. I heard voices calling out to me in languages I had never heard of before. I was spinning on the core of something great and powerful. I was filled with it, but I don't know how that happened. I continued to look around me and eventually I saw it and felt it all. It was not separated from anything. It was everything, but it was everything that was happening at the same time, all at once. It was one. It was only one and the one was everything."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:05:00 +0000

He said: "The ships came in close to the shore and then turned away. If it was dark, they would throw the dead bodies overboard and they would watch them vanish in the moonlight. Many died in the crossing. There was contagion. Some died quickly from loss of fluids. The children were taken first always. It was because they were too young to fight the fevers. Those with no living parents went quickly. They had bet every thing they had on the crossing. It was a long crossing, but there was promise on the other side if they could only make it there in good stead. But the crossing was not kind, so many did not survive. The crossing was a gamble. It was a gamble for life. Not everyone could win the gamble. The ships came in close, then turned away."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 08:53:00 +0000

She said: "It is hard to seek the truth. It is even harder to know the truth, but the truth is what will sustain you as you grow. The truth is powerful. You must be careful if you are to know the truth. There are those who will not want you to know the truth. There are those who will try to stop you from finding it. You must be brave and you must be strong to know the truth and to live by what it will teach you. Do not be afraid, children. Do not falter in your search. Know that you will never be alone if you are seeking the truth. The truth will free you. The truth will make you strong. You must be strong to find it. And you must be even stronger to keep it. This is my gift to you. Go into the world and tell them what you know. Go into the world after you have found the truth."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:58:00 +0000

He said: "OK. It goes like this. Roger, listen up. This is a killer. OK. So these guys, kinda like up, are all at their Alzhimer's weekly group. And, you know, they're hanging out, and afterward they go over to Jerry's house, and they start hanging out at each other's house every week, to, you know have a brew or two, and shoot the shit but not one of them know why. Get it? They are hanging out at each other's houses and they don't know why. What? You don't get it? Let me start again..."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 20:28:00 +0000

He said: "Sometimes I'll think I see him in the room. Then I remember that he's dead. He was my best friend for 20 or so years. I think about him from time to time. I'll wonder how he's doing. I'll want to call him to talk about a film that I just saw, or about a new song I just heard, but then I'll feel sad because I know that he wont answer the phone. I kind of forget from time to time that he's been gone now for over 20 years. It just don't feel right that he's not alive like everyone else. I know I shouldn't feel the way I do sometime. I know that I'm being selfish. He had the best exit of anyone I have ever known. He went out to dinner with his friend. Then he came home and sat down at the piano and died. Just like that. No hospital, no doctors, no tubes up your nose, none of that heroic restarting the heart. No long, painful recovery. He just came home and died. I still miss him though. Especially when I know that he won't answer my call."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:12:00 +0000

She said: "The dog waited on the lawn near the cross walk, it's ears alert, waiting for the boy to come home from school. This was his job. It was a job that he took very seriously because the boy was his love. He loved the boy and the boy loved him. It was a universe that was in balance with itself. When the school bus came, the dog could hardly contain his emotions. He waited until the boy could be seen coming down the steps of the school bus. When he was on the ground the dog would run to him, running around him, inspecting him to see all that there was to see of the boy who was his charge. This, then, was a state of grace. This was a world in balance. This is how it was meant to be."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:07:00 +0000

He said: "The docs called it cancer. They said was was pretty advanced. They wanted to know know why I didn't come in quicker. Well, I've got things to do, that's why. I run a business. The business don't run by itself. Someone has gotta be there, or nothing get's done. That's why I didn't come in earlier. I came when I could. I came when the pain didn't respond to the booze. I came when I'd had enough pain. I guess I didn't want to know. I guess that since it was invisible, it would stay that way. Well, I learned a lesson. I know something now that I didn't know before. I learned that I could take it and I learned that something that is invisible can become real. Something that is invisible can become very, very real."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:03:00 +0000

She said: "It really looked like that. I can't really hardly believe it myself. I have to admit that I was surprised. Of course, it was a day filled with surprises. What I remember is that I got on the plane to Jackson and there was trouble on the plane and we were supposed to land somewhere else. But, of course, we didn't. The plane went down and we crashed. Everyone on board was killed. I saw them all die, and they saw me die. The amazing thing is that I didn't really "feel" anything. You know how like in real life everything is real fast? Well, when you die everything slows way down. So, anyway, I remember seeing the ground below me, slowly coming up to meet me, and the closer it got, the slower everything went. I understood that I was dead. And I understood that I was going to go one of the two ways that we were taught about in Sunday school. Of course, I never believed all that Heaven/Hell stuff. Imagine my surprise when I found out that's the way it really is! Anyway, for reasons that still escape me, I was falling toward the pearly gates, and you won't believe this. I sure didn't. The sign in front of Heaven (are you sitting down?) says "Entrance". Who would have ever guessed that?"

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:43:00 +0000

He said: "This whole notion of there being an "Art World" is preposterous. It is an illusion. It does not exist. There is no art and there is nothing supporting that notion. There is only moments and seem as though they came from another hand because of their unique quality, but in an instant are gone. There is no art and there are no artists. There are only scratches on a inside of a cave somewhere; some hand drawn smears of color made by an unknown hand at an unknown time and the cave will soon be sealed and the "art" will vanish and the world will carry on as it always has. The "Art" will not survive. Only the moment will live, and then seconds later, die away."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:05:00 +0000

She said: He was something alright. You know, one of those once in a million type of men. I fell for him at first glance. He was sweet and had a nice smile. Nice body, too. Every time we went out together, he had some little thing to give me. This was a major change from my last "good man". I gave that one up after he hit me with that meaty hand of his. Had a black and purple eye for about 2 weeks. No amount of make up could hide what he did to me. So, this new guy was like a light coming into my life again. Every thing was wonderful for a month or so. Then, her vanished. Poof. Just gone. I was about to loose my mind, I was so crazy with worry. Then he showed up out of nowhere. Bamm! There he was. Wouldn't tell me where he had been. Gave me a big smile and a hug and that was it. I cried for him, I was so worried, but he didn't want to share whatever the story was with me. So I made up to him because I loved him and even though I thought I deserved an answer, I didn't push him. But, then it happened again. He was gone and I was crazy with worry. And that was that. I couldn't do it again. I broke down. Then I broke up. And I tell my friends the short version of our time together. You know, just to make the whole thing brief: A Hole New Thing: A Fresh Start. Unknown Circumstances. A Broken Heart."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 01:24:00 +0000

He said: "Oh, she was smart all right. She was smart and she was sassy. That's just the way I like a woman. It's important to have a good laugh from time to time. Me: I try to make sure I wake up laughing and go to bed with a smile. And, lord, this woman fit the bill. She was sassy, and she was smart, and she was funny, and she wasn't afraid to be a little bit salty, too. And I needed to have someone to laugh to and to enjoy a good story with. The doctors told me why I was hurting down there. It's cancer and I don't think I'm going to be laughing for too much longer. It was a shock to get that news. But that's just the way things go. I'm doing the best I can and she comes over a couple times a week and we sit on the porch and chat and tell stories and laugh about it all. For right now, that's what's keeping me going. That's why I want to stay alive, so I can see what the next punch line is gonna be."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:25:00 +0000

She said: "It was all around me. The light. That super bright light. It felt like I was being pierced by the light. Like the light was a laser and it was being beamed to everything around me. I was too stunned to turn around and run. I was too afraid to run anyway. I felt the light on my arms and on my legs. I felt warm on a cold November morning. I felt suspended. And at the same time, I felt comforted and protected some how. I didn't even think about running away. I don't think I could have run away even if I tried. The light grew brighter even than it was, but then began to fade. I could feel my skin cooling, and then, suddenly, it was gone. Just like that. Just gone. And I was stunned at how quickly the whole thing took to happen. I was stunned, but not from the light. I was stunned because it left me. Whatever it was, it left me, and moved on to some other place. And I was still here. I haven't moved an inch. Something happened, and then it was gone. If you look real close, you can still see the places where I got burned."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 18:55:00 +0000

She said: "I was never afraid. Not once even. I was made of sterner stuff. I was from Texas. That, in itself, explains why I didn't fold. I would never fold. It just wasn't in me. When someone said something or did something that I thought was just wrong, I let them know what I thought. Didn't matter if they were the garbage man or the President. Same thing. So when those young men came into my store, which first was my daddy's store before he died and I took over, well when they came in and told me that they wanted all the money and the jewelery, I was prepared. I knew that they had to be from out of town, 'cause there was no one in this town stupid enough to hold me up. I kept a pistol and a rifle under the table and I shot and killed the small one, and shot the bigger one on his crotch, so he went down too. The third one ran faster than I ever saw anyone from anywhere run. There was the mess after, of course. With the police and the court and just the to do of it all. But I stuck it out. This is my home, my town, my daddy's memory. There will never be anyone who will make me give up. I will never give up. Ever!"

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:00:00 +0000

He said: "We played as tho we were in the garden because, I guess, that's were we wanted to be. We wanted something more than what we had. I know that sounds selfish, but that's the way was was then. We thought that we could find something that was better, more pure, more forgiving than the place we were at. We thought that Nature or God or something would shelter us from what was around us: War, more War, Hate, more Hate, hunger for what we thought was promised to us. We were, of course, wrong. It couldn't last. There was too much against us. What we wanted couldn't be tolerated. But, after all, there did appear lessons to be learned. Quite a few, actually. The one that I still keep close to me is that if everything is level, then everything can be the same. But it is hard to make everything level. Humans just don't work that way. The reality is the Above You is Below me."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:19:00 +0000

She said: "We had to rename the band because ME left. I don't why. He never explained it all. He just walked away. So "Me And You" became "ENU. We dropped the M. Without the spaces between the letters, the Band's name became some kind of animal: Enu. That worked for a little while until we found out that there was another band with those initials. We could buy them out, or rename ourselves again. There is an old saying that my grandmother used when I was little. She used to say that "The devil gives with one hand, and takes it away with the other." I could see now how that could apply to us. So, we renamed the band "GaZabi" It wasn't listed anywhere and was just strange enough to be interesting. The drummer has to leave for health reasons. This time I think we'll just hire another drummer".

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 17:25:00 +0000

He drove to the edge of nowhere and pulled off the road. He got out of the car and bent over the sand, vomiting. He felt dizzy and wet with sweat. When he closed his eyes he could almost believe she was alive and with him still. It was worse in the morning as he drifted from dream to wakefullness. He could touch her and smell her scent in his dreams. When he was conscious, he was again alone. He straightened up and wiped his sour mouth with his shirt sleeve. The sky was full of stars and it was late. Somewhere off he could hear music.

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:19:00 +0000

He said: "I have this feeling that I'm missing something. I have these thoughts that that it's already too late. I have these strange dreams that I'm floating on the water and I'm being pulled away from land and I don't know where I'm going, and I'm afraid of what I will find at the end of the sea that I am floating on. I have these feelings that I am alone and that the people I see are a mirage and are not real. I have these odd thoughts that come to me out of no where and that tell me that it is my time and that I must be here. I don't know where "here" is and I don't want to find out, really. I feel that I am being pulled somewhere by a force that I can't see or hear and that I don't know anything about. I feel that I am either here or that I'm gone. It doesn't make any sense, but then, it doesn't have to. If I am gone then I will surely soon be here."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:55:00 +0000

She said: "Sometimes it's hard to tell. Sometimes it's real hard to tell what the hell is going on. I really don't know from one minute to the next. I mean, I think it will go in one direction but I end up in another place all together. I don't know how that happens. I really try. I really do try to make it make sense somehow. I can't explain it. I don't have the words I need. Sometimes it makes me afraid a bit. Sometimes I think I'm loosing my mind, or the little bit that is left. I try not to let my family know that I don't know what's going on. I think they probably know by now, but no one is rude enough to say anything. "It's just the way Mom is." That's what I think they must say to one another. That's just the way she is." Bless them. I know it's hard on everyone. But it is especially hard on me. I just don,t know really. I just don't know."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:34:00 +0000

He said: "I haven't had a good week. Everything seems like it happens all at once, you know? I lost my job last week. No particular reason. "Cutting costs" they told me. And what pisses me off is I know my salary is gonna be used to make some fat cat fatter. So, that was the start of my week. Next is I found out my wife is gonna take the kids and move in to her Mother's place. Says things haven't been so good for a long time between us. Says I drink too much and abuse the kids by yelling at them when I'm drunk. So, lost my job, lost my family. W.T.F.? Do I slit my throat or walk off the pier? I'm not a bad person. I know that's what everyone says. But, really, I'm not. I'm just down on my luck and pissed off at who I am and where I am and why didn't work out better for me and my family. I just don't know. But one thing I do know is that this is a wake up call. I want things to be right again. I can't do it alone by my self. I can do this thing. I know I can. If there's one thing I know about this stinking world is that when things fall apart, they also fall together."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 13:36:00 +0000

She said: "Honey, I've done it all. I've been there and I have done all of that. I like being busy. What more can I tell you? I like what I do, so I do it a lot and as a result I have a GaZillion Friends. Just ask anyone. I know what's going on everywhere it seems. I don't just DO Social Media, honey, I AM Social Media. That's the thing that I do best. I have a job! This is my job. If someone posts something, I feel like, well, I have to respond. Doesn't matter if I don't know that person. So what? They don't know me either. And because I respond to all of them, some, and even maybe most, respond to me. And Liked? You want to know about Liked. Honey, I am for sure Liked. Maybe even loved a little. That, Dammit, that's where the rubber meets the road. Honey! My people love me. Because I am THERE for them."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 11:33:00 +0000

She said: "It's like waking up in your bed, but your bed has been turned around to face another wall and you know it wasn't like that last night. It's like if you looked up from the bed that is facing the wrong wall and everything you see is in black and white. From your window you can hear the birds tweeting and you know you've heard that noise before you can't say what it is, only that it isn't nice to hear. Imagine if you got up from your bed one morning and everything was different in subtle ways. The clock by your bed has some strange, wrong time on it. You can't quite dredge up the word that is used for a Bath Robe. You slowly make your way to the kitchen where everything looks O.K. but when you look as it a second time, nothing has a name and you can't remember where the cold box is. You are puzzled and you feel tired and wish only to go back to bed for a bit. Later, when you come downstairs for the second time you can smell it. You can't yet see it, but you can smell it. You know what it is. You can smell the fire in the kitchen, but you don't know how it started."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:33:00 +0000

She said: "It was after I lost the cat that things changed. Sounds silly, doesn't it? I loved my cat and she just got real sick. I thought it was because of the heat, but she got some virus in her and by the time I finally got her to the vet's , it was too late. She was in real pain. I held her in my lap as they "put her down". It only took a moment, really. Well, of course I cried, but not as much as I thought I might. I felt free in some way. I loved that cat. She wasn't really that old, you know. But, after she passed, I didn't have anything to hold me back. I didn't have to arrange things when I was out of town. I could not just go whenever I wanted. And I did. I had always wanted to see France. So, I went to France. Then Jamaica. Then Australia. Then Berlin. That's where I met Frank. We just hit it off at once. He is a cat lover too, but doesn't have one now. His tabby passed a few weeks before my own cat. Isn't that funny? Two old cat lovers meet in some far away place and all we could talk about was our cats. Well, there you go. Life is funny that way. It's hard to say exactly how it will all work out in the end."

noreply@blogger.com (Jim Landry) — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 20:45:00 +0000

She said: "If you had a second chance, would you take it? Could you take it? Do you think that anything would have changed in your life if you had another chance to live your life? Do you think that life is what you make of it, or do you think that it is something that just happens to you while you are cleaning the house? What do you think would change for you if you had a second chance? What do you think you would loose? Would you take your children with you on a second chance? Would you take a mate? How much different would your life be if you could start over and make it all new? Would you have any regrets? Do you think that you would be brave enough? Would it make any difference if you could not look back? Maybe a second chance could just be the elimination of regrets. Maybe it could be that simple. Maybe if it were that easy we'd all jump on the chance to dream a different dream and not look back."