Musings from a naked finger...

Never Put It In Writing

2009-10-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

I've been following the Jake/Andrea saga on Mormon Bachelor Pad. This is why two of my cardinal rules are #1 Don't write letters to ex-boyfriends and #2 Don't let anyone take pictures of you naked. The second rule should be an obvious one, but beauty queens and starlets keep getting burnt on this one. It's simple, if you let someone take nude pictures of you, sometime, somewhere, said pictures will end up on the Internet. Either the photo lab is going make their own copies or your ex is going to post them somewhere, why wouldn't they, what have they got to loose? The letter thing though isn't always an obvious mistake, but you are very naive if you think the ex is going to be the only one to see said letter. Either he and his friends will be laughing hysterically over each tortured word or worse yet, he will post it on his blog. I distinctly remember riding a school bus on a high school field trip with my best friend Alison laughing hysterically over the sappy "please don't break up with me letter" sent by her ex boyfriend, complete with misspellings and terrible grammar. My advise, never, never put it in writing and if your gonna take nuddy photos, at least invest in a Polaroid.

10 Reasons My Dog Would Be the Perfect Husband:

2009-10-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

1) He adores me

2) He loves my cooking

3) He has big, beautiful brown eyes

4) He sits with me when I'm sick and I truly believe that if he had opposable thumbs he would hold my hair out of the puke

5) He likes to play

6) He's VERY affectionate and loves to cuddle

7) He doesn't laugh at me when I cry at movies or hallmark commercials

8) He doesn't care if I watch Dancing with the Stars and always lets me be in charge of the remote

9) He is always happy to see me when I come home

10) He has never once left the toilet seat up

In the beginning.....

2009-10-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, Veronica*, a women who had recently moved into my ward said to me “I had no idea you were single. You seem so normal and well put together. Wow, I’m shocked.” So was I. I thought “of course I’m normal“! Then I took a good look around me at the other people who were single and over 30. Okay, some of them are not so normal, some of them are not so well put together, some of them are downright weird. Many of our fellow saints when thinking about those who are mid-singles age think of the 45 year old guy in their ward who has a comb over, missing teeth and an unfortunate tendency to pass gas at inappropriate moments (like in the silence accompanying the passing of the Sacrament). Or the women who bakes cookies and delivers them to every single guy between the ages of 22 and 89 and then bursts into tears and runs screaming from the room every time the Relief Society lesson topic is temple marriage. We’re not all like this though! Some of us are well put together, successful and HAPPY. So that’s why I started this blog. I wanted people to know that even though I’m single and over 30, I am still a normal, fun, arguably hot chick and there are lots of girls out their just like me. Okay, well normal is in the eye of the beholder. MY mom thinks I’m normal, but I digress. I wanted to create a forum where I and a few of my close, personal friends can share their loves, lives, trials, tribulations, and heartaches. I hope everyone enjoys the musings of my naked finger….